Awesome hair, Awesomer beard.

My first experience with the Dynasty Warriors series began with the second installment of the series. Think back to the holiday season of 2000. Myself, I was still early in my high school career and was lamenting the launch of the Playstation 2, as I had almost no money. This of course didn’t matter because the system was impossible to find. But there came a time of salvation, a day I still remember perfectly to this day. I had heard that my local Media Play, which at the time was still in business, was going to be taking pre-orders. If I remember correctly it was a Saturday. Not having a car my grandmother agreed to drive me out soon after the store opened to see what the situation was. We get there, we walk to the customer service counter, and I ask, “Are you taking pre-orders for the Playstation 2?” Fully expecting rejection I was met with a simple “Yep.” But, the overwhelming joy from this initial success was quashed with the explanation that I could pre-order, if and only if, I bought a package which included three games, a memory card, and an extra controller, the total of which came to around $500. Thinking my life ruined, I turned to leave, my heart broken, my dreams shattered. But, what was this? My grandmother grabbed my sleeve as I went to leave, pointed me to the list of release games and said, “Go ahead, Merry Christmas.” Then, giddy as a little school girl on amphetamines, I poured over the list of games. The first game I chose was Tekken Tag Tournament, the second I don’t remember, but the third was a little game which sounded somewhat appealing that I had briefly heard of in the weeks beforehand. That game was Dynasty Warriors 2. Little did I know, that when my grandmother said “Merry Christmas” she actually meant she was going to hold on to the system until December fucking 25th. This wasn’t too big of a deal, as I had a friend who received a PS2 at launch, and I spent many days that winter at his house immersed in shitty launch titles. Time passed, and the PS2 moved into the back of my mind. Then Christmas break rolled around and eventually Christmas day. I ripped that damn box open like a fat kid tearing through a triple layer double fudge chocolate cake. With the system hooked up, I began going through my games. The first disc to grace my console was none other then that of DW2.


What you don't realize is that half the enemies still haven't registered on screen.

Not knowing what to expect from this mysterious game based on Chinese history/mythology, I made my way through the menus. Started my first campaign, or rather Musou, and picked the character Guan Yu. This was of course because of his amazing beard. The first battle started titled The Yellow Turban Rebellion. There I was, as Guan Yu, amidst massive battle already in progress. As I came across a group of enemy combatants I tapped the square button and swung my utterly gigantic halberd, thus destroying upwards of five enemies in a bright flash. No blood, just the sound of metal on metal and a bright light. The enemies dropped to the ground, and disappeared. Long story short I made my way through the battle, slashing my way through hordes of enemies, and absolutely loving every minute of the amazingly campy cut scenes. It was an orgy of death and cheese unmatched by anything I had seen at the time.

This was the beginning of my love affair with the Dynasty Warriors series. And while I get more then enough enjoyment from playing it myself I have to mention the importance of the co-op play. If I remember correctly it wasn’t until the third installment that I really took advantage of this mode. And this was of course offline co-op as KOEI has seen fit to still not give us that much, so you can picture the split screen nightmare that was Dynasty Warriors Co-Op. The already hectic gameplay, which was usually plagued by enemy models popping in and out of sight, was made even worse. But it didn’t matter. Because of the simple, basic setup of the controls all we needed to do was move forward and mash square and triangle respectively. Now you may be asking yourself, why would I do this? Why would my friend and I put ourselves through this overtly mediocre gameplay? Because it was fun. We could chill in front of the t.v., play through our favorite battles, and love every minute of the cut scenes which, to this day, are campiness manifest on screen. It epitomized exactly what a co-op experience is meant to be in a time when co-op was almost non-existent. It didn’t matter that we usually couldn’t see what was happening, we had the major strategies for the battles memorized and we went through the motions. It was an excuse to get some people together and do nothing, an excuse to actually gather around a console and all play the same game at the same time.


I couldn't find a screenshot of DW split-screen. This should give you an idea of what it's like.

But even when you look at the core game of any Dynasty Warriors game, it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Admittedly it is hard to defend it without making the games sound really repetitive and boring, but I think focusing on the core battle mechanics misses the point. I have yet to play any other game which gives me the same sort of feeling as any entry to the Dynasty Warriors series. The games throw me into the middle of an ancient battle with literally hundreds of enemies whom I have to defeat. It’s chaotic mayhem for reasons both intended and not. Do they milk the series somewhat with the constant “expansions” and things of that nature? Sure, but I just choose to not buy everything they sell. Will you ever catch me arguing that Dynasty Warriors 6 is better then the Metal Gear Solid series or that it tells a better narrative then Bioshock? Fuck no. But I will always say that the games have provided me with a genuinely fun experience, and sometimes, that’s all that matters.