This week's show, as I point out almost every week, is a little different. Our guest for next week's full episode is none other than the crimson wonder, the disciple of Bale, the one and only Riser Glen. And when Riser's on...well, let's just say we record things differently. We hope you can forgive us - and by us, I mean an unusually large cast for a preview episode consisting of Yashoki, King3vbo, and Necros - for our deviations. Not to be confused with excusing deviants. Because there is no excuse for shamelessly copying popular art styles poorly and ruining awesome characters. People who use that website: I hate you all personally.
Editor's Note: Comments made by Failcast do not necessarily represent Failcast, despite coming straight from its mouth. "Hate" may also mean either "love" or "banana cream pie" in certain third-world countries.
Our email address is still Failcast@gmail.com, in case you forgot.
Music Credits:
OP: Banjo-Kazooie - Opening
Banjo-Kazooie OST
ED: The Fratellis - Got Ma Nuts from a Hippy
Can you afford to not download this as fast as you can?
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After last week's debacle, the only place we could go was up, right? In Failcast terms, that means we hope we failed you in spectacular new ways. Case in point: this week's episode is almost completely about everyone's favorite Eastern European immigration sim, Grand Theft Auto IV. This is particularly astounding, considering that Charlie and Necros have not touched the game yet. Still, we seem to muddle our way through; Yashoki and King3vbo pick up the slack with this week's guest, DJ Duffy. Listen to them discuss the proper technique for hotwiring a car and getting in bed with Liberty City's flirtatious females for only five dollars. Yes ladies and gentlemen, this offer is real, but only if you act now.
Outline of Fail:
00:55 - Don't you dare call me
03:55 - Game Boy Story Hour
07:55 - Duffy out-retros Necros
10:35 - Half-assed interview
13:55 - Community questions
19:00 - Drollroll!
22:40 - Necros sells out
25:50 - Starcraft is always recent
29:30 - Canada NARP LOL WUT
30:25 - Sexy Beach High School
34:05 - Hitogoroshi's Failcast Mask! (see top pic)
35:30 - Droll brings up choice in GTA IV
40:30 - King is inside a 14-year-old girl
42:40 - Could an innocent character fit into GTA?
47:45 - GTA IV made story a big deal
51:35 - Yay out of context
56:05 - Yashoki is a coward
56:35 - Anyone get a zombie character?
60:00 - Why Conrad and I aren't playing GTA IV
64:20 - CTZ makes NARPs happen
69:40 - There's now aniMonday for all you weeaboos
Music Credits:
OP: Galneryus - Meditation for the Saga
Final Fantasy V OST
ED: King and Dern - Cinder Halo
As always, you can contact us for all your refuse-related needs at Failcast@gmail.com, the usual dumping ground.
Carjack this podcast!
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In the middle of finals, sleep becomes inconsequential. Time and day cease to exist, especially if you keep your curtains closed like I do to simulate a cave-like environment. The other day, I walked outside and expected it to be night, only to be surprised by bright sunlight. The world outside could end and all I would know is that my final paper for my writing studio is done. As a result, I suppose it's easy to see why this episode of Failcast is going up a little later than usual. Please, carry on as if nothing has happened.
This week, and the next is you wish to get technical, feature the delightful DJ Duffy. As usual, this week involves talking to Charlie and King3vbo about how she came to Destructoid and other such discussion. Not as usual, the topic of everyone's favorite car-stealing game is discussed. We're sure you'll be able to relate.
You know how to download, right?
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Alright, get this.
Some of you are familiar with the story of how Failcast came to be, and how it was basically all Wiisucks' fault that you're subjected to this on a weekly basis. Well. It turns out that Wiisucks has made his own podcast. Yes, that's right, you can now download his fail right here. I don't want to spoil much for you, but lets just say that he is clearly better at our profession then we are. Anyone who aspires to fail could learn from his advanced techniques.
Moving on to the reason you're probably here: we felt like releasing another installment of our attempts to fail. Despite some initial confusion, our host Yashoki gets the show on the road with regulars Charlie, King3vbo, and Necros, joined this week by the amazing Screaming Red Face. Um...I really don't have anything else to say about this episode except that it makes me feel like I'm in Japan.
And away we go!
Outline of Fail:
00:30 - Welcome to Failcast!
01:45 - King hates moonspeak
04:25 - The World Ends with You OMG!
06:30 - King's...a good guy...
10:35 - Hate is a strong word
12:15 - Hadouken. Haduken.
15:45 - Community feedback time!
18:35 - Thanks for that, Microsoft
21:10 - Wedge's scary fusion pic
24:25 - King works for The Man
28:30 - Hito dismisses Marvel vs. Capcom (and has a good reason)
33:50 - Kryptinite's guilty pleasure is buying collector's editions
38:20 - Messenger bags =/= man purse
39:00 - Pedro posts the GTA IV Special Edition cover
46:05 - Consumer whorism
50:20 - Seriously Charlie, that's as bad as Necros
55:10 - Everyone is more rational than Necros
56:00 - DryvBy discusses ads in gaming
59:55 - PAX: For all your throat-slitting needs
66:10 - PaperBowser0 is unsure where the next Golden Sun should go
68:30 - Clockwork is wrong about gamers becoming nerdy recently
74:00 - F Whipple reminisces about life-stealing
79:45 - We, sadly, bring up furries
81:05 - Being a douchebag is amazing
85:25 - Sibling talk time
87:20 - Conrad Zimmerman talks about video game cartoons
92:10 - Yashoki forces us into Podtoid-san's territory
95:45 - A very special outro
Music Credits:
OP: Five Iron Frenzy - Wizard Needs Food, Badly
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children OST
ED: NOFX - Always Hate Hippies
We're still looking for listener contributions in any form, especially audio questions on anything for our next preview episode (with a bit rate of 128 kbps and a sample rate of 44.100 kHz). So go send shit to Failcast@gmail.com now!
That beach girl should have downloaded this episode.
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Seriously, I cant use photoshop. And I'm at work. So no original shoop for you, instead you get the ultimate, yet copypasta'd shoop.
Anyways, if you can't tell I'm not exactly the regular writer of these posts. Necros is busy with school, or life, or lynching, or something like that. Anyways, our guest tonight is the wonderful Screaming Red Face. So feel free to ask him any question you want. ANYTHING. Yes Reaprar, you can ask him that one. That dirty question. No censorship here at Failcast.
Some topics we might discuss (read: I have no idea):
-Lazers
-The absence of Lazers
-Maybe video games, if Charlie feels like it
-Necros trying to clear his name, but failing
-Masks that no one made, not even other regular Failcasters
-A broken promise by me to stop playing a certain evil game (DUN DUN DUUUUN)
In summary, I suck at making blogs. Or anything with words. Hell, I can barely talk as it is. So please supplement this awful fail with some awesome questions. 10 points to anyone who can make a question that pleases Charlie. Seriously, that guy has really high standards.
I'd now link all you ravenous bastards to some pr0n, but I'm at work. So that might not be the best idea. Instead, you get a kitteh:
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And now, for something slightly different.
To be honest, the Failcast team has never been entirely happy with the way we produced these preview episodes. Maybe it was that they adhered too much to our crusade of fail. Regardless, today marks a shift in format. Beyond the standard interview with our arcade-minded guest Hitogoroshi, we decided to discuss the controversy surrounding - what else? - the latest Destructoid review. The latest shitstorm involved Topher's ringing endorsement of Ikaruga. Do our ramblings make any sense, or do they instead approach the realm of, well, ramblings? That is for posterity to decide.
Also, if you deem our show worthy of a listen, you'll notice that we announce two things. The first is an "event" of sorts. That's right, it's the retarded, red-headed stepchild of Destructoid: Mr. Failcast! We pretty much tell you what you need to know in the on-show segment, so give it a listen and then send in your pictures!
The second is a call to arms of Failcast listeners. We want to do a preview episode based entirely off of your questions. Oh, but not just normal text-based questions -what do you think this is, IRC? - we want recordings of you, dear listener, asking us questions about...stuff. You've got some time to contribute, so you don't have to ditch your date to record us an epic question, but when you do send them in to Failcast@gmail.com, make sure they're in MP3 format, with a bit rate of 128 kbps and a sample rate of 44.100 kHz. And of course, you're always free to contribute other stuff for the main shows as well. But you already knew that, didn't you?
Music Credits:
OP: bLiNd: Beginning of the End (Birth of a God)
MGS2 OST
ED: Kill Me Now! from MGS2
I'm downloading mah podcasts!
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Today is the day, ladies and gentlemen, the day Failcast joins the proud, elite ranks of those podcasts deemed worthy enough to get listed in Apple's iTunes store. Yes, you read correctly, you can now find Failcast listed along with such essential fare as The China Millennium Monument and French Maid TV. This basically means that Apple has welcomed us into the fold, and to celebrate, we're making a few changes. From now on, all shows will be recorded in Starbucks while listening to Damien Rice. The entire show is now Mac-produced, with longtime PC gamers abandoning their beefy machines for Apple's highly-priced merchandise. And of course, as soon as you download this episode, it will become obsolete and be replaced with a new version. We look forward to this bright future of pretentious bullshit.
I'm kidding, of course.
We do have a rather unconventional episode for you this week, or at least it felt like it to me. Our scheduled guest Gamegoblin was unable to make it, so we called upon our official Failcast sub Droobies to pretend to be Canadian in his place. All I can say is that it resulted in something that you have to hear to fully comprehend how awesome Droobies is.
Outline of Fail:
00:40 - Buenos DS LOLOLOLOL
02:15 - That's his girlfriend
06:40 - Failcast exclusive news!
07:40 - Community feedback time
11:10 - Reverse scissoring technique
12:05 - Congratulations Conrad!
15:20 - EVILE
15:35 - Can HP/MP be improved?
20:20 - If King is the core, should you shoot him?
23:35 - Things in video games that need to die
24:10 - Stealth in non-stealth games
29:00 - Fucking escort missions
31:40 - But the warnings about monsters are so important
34:20 - Cockteases are just empty promises
35:15 - Cut out the cutscenes
36:20 - Ice platforms have never been fun
38:00 - Bad characterization through dialogue
39:35 - Pauses in voice acting
41:20 - Gary Motherfucking Oak
42:55 - Should we abandon the term "gamer"?
47:00 - Grannies are pretty intense
49:59 - Shin Oni brings up toilet games
52:00 - Bathroom designated DS
54:50 - Random G.I. Joe references
58:40 - Perry Simm enjoys games that are easy
61:15 - The real reason why Droobies hasn't been talking much
62:15 - Failcast is finally on iTunes!
Music Credits:
OP: Viva Obama
Death Note OST
I'm a Gamer off of Pure Pwnage OST
ED: What's Up People by Maximum the Hormone
As always, dear listeners, we beseech you: send us awesome stuff at Failcast@gmail.com so we can incorporate it into the show. And if you feel up to bullshitting with us for a few hours, we're always looking for more guests.
NEW!
NEW!
Click here to download our fail!
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Sometimes, I come back from classes to write a Failcast post up and am just uncertain about how to proceed. Maybe my brain has gone offline for the day, or I just want to go take a nap because I was up too late playing games the night before. In these instances, I try to draw on other members of the Failcast team for at least a starting idea for me to expand on. Today, I learned never to ask Yashoki again. Here's the topics he told me to use: "sky riders," "rollerblades," and "Jersey beach." What the hell.
I know that it's mostly useless filler surrounding the fact that we need your questions, statements, insults, hopes, dreams, and rape stories for our recording of episode 6 tonight, with community guest Gamegoblin, but I at least try to make it as interesting as possible. (Note how needlessly long that last sentence was for the basic fact it was trying to convey.) Yet somehow, my enthusiasm for this post has just entirely dropped based on those three phrases Mr. Shoki instructed me to elaborate on. And it gets better.
Want to know what topics we might be discussing on today's show? According to Koshi:
- Lesbians
God damn it, I hate you so much.
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If you all haven't noticed, Podtoid hasn't been updated in a few weeks. Now, we like to keep things somewhat professional (Ed.: HAHAHA), so we're not going to make comments about how Failcast releases content consistently on every Thursday or how even Podtoid-san, Japanator's weeaboo podcast, has surpassed Podtoid. All we can point out is that, at this rate, even Failcast is going to pass Podtoid one of these days.
This week's preview episode brings us one step closer to that goal. Community guest Gamegoblin joins Yashoki and Necros to talk about the usual bullshit we make up for these episodes. Also, a warning: the bad jokes Necros makes are so toxic, they may give you cancer. Listen at your own risk.
And now dear community, we have a question to ask you. What do you think of these short preview episodes? We originally created them so that we could at least put something out on off weeks, since we currently don't have the resources to do a full episode every week. Do you enjoy the format, or would you rather see something different on off-weeks? Or do you just not give a shit and only care about the full episodes? Let us know so we can continue failing in ways that at least seem to please you.
Download here!
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