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About Me

Hey robots, I'm Excremento, but you cool and old skool Dtoiders know that already, this is merely for the N00BS. I've been a videogamer for as long as I can remember. I have well over 27 years of video game experience that I rely on daily, and a near encyclopedic memory of gaming starting with the Commodore 64 and ending with whatever is the current hotness.

I've got my own blog at MediaWhoreNetwork that I try to write on when I'm not too busy...and just recently have decided to come back to do a few Community Blogs here on Dtoid now that most failbloggers don't exist anymore. I'm still here fellas (and ladies) updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.

Any of you out there who wish to chat it up with ol Ex can do so at:

Gmail -- xopher (DOT) reed (AT) gmail (DOT)com

Facebook: Xopher Reed

Author of The Ten Commandments for Community Bloggers



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The Ten Commandments For Destructoid Community Bloggers [REPOST]
Excremento | 9:34 PM on 12.08.2007 29 comments




There have been a whole bunch of you newbish people joining the Destructoid blogs as of late and while we welcome all newcomers, we have a certain code of conduct that we ask you all to follow. Many of you have seen this before, but for all of you that haven't seen this. Please, for the love of the Giant Robot, follow some of them and improve yourself. Don't worry, new content coming up in about 3 hours. -- Excremento

To quote the Destructoid Blogger's Bible: The Book of Conduct,

Chapter 19

20 The GIANT ROBOT descended to the top of Utah and called Excremento to the top of the state. So Excremento went up

21 and the GIANT ROBOT said to him, "Go down and warn the community so they do not piss the GIANT ROBOT off and force me to make many of them perish.

22 Even the writers, who approach the GIANT ROBOT, must consecrate themselves, or the GIANT ROBOT will slay them."

23 Excremento said to the GIANT ROBOT, "The people cannot come up to Utah, because you yourself warned us, 'Put limits around the state and set it apart as queer.' "

24 The GIANT ROBOT replied, "Go down and bring Lemon up with you. But the writers and the community must not bring notice upon themselves from the GIANT ROBOT, or the GIANT ROBOT will slay them.."

25 So Excremento went down to the people and told them

Chapter 20

1 And the GIANT ROBOT spake all these words, saying,

2 I am the GIANT ROBOT, which have brought thee out of the lairs of 1up, and out of the house of Kotaku.

3 Thou shall not suck, for in sucking, you shall make me, the GIANT ROBOT cry.

4 Thou shall not make misleading titles for your blog, you must speak directly to the community what you are trying to say.

5 Thou shall make your blog postings coherent, for you anger me the GIANT ROBOT by not doing so.

6 Thou shall not copy and paste news without using quotes and citing your sources, for it is the sign of the noob.

7 Thou shall not have conduct unbecoming of a community member, meaing thou shall not be a Fanboy or act like a Troll here.

8 Thou shall not SPAM, it doth anger Ron Workman.

9 Thou shall ridicule posts that are inferior quality, for they are laughable.

10 Thou shall not post Goatse...ever on this site.

11 Thou shall take your criticism like a professional and use it to improve thyself, not whine about said criticism.

12 Thou shall Shut The Fuck Up And Just Play Games, for that is why I have given you this community, to discuss gaming.

13 And all the community saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the state smoldering: and when the community saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.

14 And they said unto Excremento, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not the GIANT ROBOT speak with us, lest we die.

15 And Excremento said unto the people, Fear not: for the GIANT ROBOT is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye must sin not.

16 And the people stood afar off, and Excremento drew near unto the thick darkness where the GIANT ROBOT was.

17 And the GIANT ROBOT said unto Excremento, Thus thou shalt say unto the website, Ye have seen that I have talked with you from my Cadillac.

18 Ye shall not make with me the GIANT ROBOTs of flesh but of silver, neither shall ye make unto you the GIANT ROBOTs of wood, but gold.

Thus spoke our digital lord; the Giant Robot, Mr. Destructoid, AMEN.



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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:43
tehuberone
WHa?
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:45
EternalDeathSlayer
Is this really a repost? It's fucking awesome.
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:46
Spartacus
i can has dtoid respects now?
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:51
Excremento
@ EDS

Yup, definitely a repost. I've just noticed a WHOLE BUNCH of new people, thought it would be a good post until I get my new blog up.
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:52
wardrox
amen
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:53
EternalDeathSlayer
Well, it's fucking great. I second the amen.
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:54
Teta
amen
again
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:55
Eschatos
Thank you very much. I've been looking for that picture all over, but it disappeared. I nominate this for front page FOR ETERNITY!
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 21:59
Tino
I'm glad I showed up before new people were new.
Turtule Soup's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:07
Turtule Soup
Yes master.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:10
EternalDeathSlayer
You should mention that people shouldn't repost either, unless they have been told to by the GIANT ROBOT
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:11
Excremento
@ Turtule Soup

You must heed the word of the GIANT ROBOT! Repent that ye may yet be saved!
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:13
Excremento
@ EDS

There are a few more choice commandments I was thinking about adding, though I think reposts for the most part are ok. I'll hide this as soon as I put up my other blog tonight. I wanted people to know I'm still here.
Phist's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:17
Phist
Bluwolf doesn't like being told what to do. I'm telling on you (before Lemon does).
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:17
ikiryou
*Peeks behind curtain*

Um...Supreme Giant Robo, why is there a midget with his hand up your arse?
Phist's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:21
Phist
By the way, the PS3 referral thing in your sidebar is spam. You broke half of your own commandments. Way to go, champ.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:37
Aaron Mxy Yost
Ranked Moses!
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:38
Excremento
I miss having that title attached to my name...
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:49
007
Damn, haven't read that in a looooong time. thanks for the repost.
Ub3rSlug's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 22:58
Ub3rSlug
Amen Brother!
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2007 23:45
Clockwork
The king of all countdowns, has finally created a long overdue countdown.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2007 00:07
king3vbo
That PS3 referral is spam. FAIL FAIL FAIL
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2007 00:37
MaxVest
A Weird Kid's Top Ten... Commandments!
Dead riffs's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2007 01:44
Dead riffs
no goatse?? cmon!

just kidding.
dprime's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/09/2007 02:48
dprime
I expected to think this was stupid, but you formatted it properly and everything. Good job.
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