games  anime  |  toys
This is a Destructoid readers's blog. For staff blogs click here. Confused? read this Create you own Dtoid blog, it's free!  |   Returning members: Login now


[ Excremento's blog ]



The Ten Commandments For Destructoid Community Bloggers
Excremento | 10:42 PM on 09.15.2007 40 comments




To quote the Destructoid Blogger's Bible: The Book of Conduct,

Chapter 19

20 The GIANT ROBOT descended to the top of Utah and called Excremento to the top of the state. So Excremento went up

21 and the GIANT ROBOT said to him, "Go down and warn the community so they do not piss the GIANT ROBOT off and force me to make many of them perish.

22 Even the writers, who approach the GIANT ROBOT, must consecrate themselves, or the GIANT ROBOT will slay them."

23 Excremento said to the GIANT ROBOT, "The people cannot come up to Utah, because you yourself warned us, 'Put limits around the state and set it apart as queer.' "

24 The GIANT ROBOT replied, "Go down and bring Lemon up with you. But the writers and the community must not bring notice upon themselves from the GIANT ROBOT, or the GIANT ROBOT will slay them.."

25 So Excremento went down to the people and told them

Chapter 20

1 And the GIANT ROBOT spake all these words, saying,

2 I am the GIANT ROBOT, which have brought thee out of the lairs of 1up, and out of the house of Kotaku.

3 Thou shall not suck, for in sucking, you shall make me, the GIANT ROBOT cry.

4 Thou shall not make misleading titles for your blog, you must speak directly to the community what you are trying to say.

5 Thou shall make your blog postings coherent, for you anger me the GIANT ROBOT by not doing so.

6 Thou shall not copy and paste news without using quotes and citing your sources, for it is the sign of the noob.

7 Thou shall not have conduct unbecoming of a community member, meaing thou shall not be a Fanboy or act like a Troll here.

8 Thou shall not SPAM, it doth anger Ron Workman.

9 Thou shall ridicule posts that are inferior quality, for they are laughable.

10 Thou shall not post Goatse...ever on this site.

11 Thou shall take your criticism like a professional and use it to improve thyself, not whine about said criticism.

12 Thou shall Shut The Fuck Up And Just Play Games, for that is why I have given you this community, to discuss gaming.

13 And all the community saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the state smoldering: and when the community saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.

14 And they said unto Excremento, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not the GIANT ROBOT speak with us, lest we die.

15 And Excremento said unto the people, Fear not: for the GIANT ROBOT is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye must sin not.

16 And the people stood afar off, and Excremento drew near unto the thick darkness where the GIANT ROBOT was.

17 And the GIANT ROBOT said unto Excremento, Thus thou shalt say unto the website, Ye have seen that I have talked with you from my Cadillac.

18 Ye shall not make with me the GIANT ROBOTs of flesh but of silver, neither shall ye make unto you the GIANT ROBOTs of wood, but gold.

Thus spoke our digital lord; the Giant Robot, Mr. Destructoid, AMEN.



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

30 comments | showing # 1 to 30

prev next

Excremento's Destructoid Blog
Yeah, comment zero
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
hello.jpg
soul3150's Destructoid Blog
(Puts down golden calf)

I AM SAVED!!!
BahamutZero's Destructoid Blog
#11: don't be Jack of all AIDS
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
LOL, lemon i put you up there, did you see it?

24 The GIANT ROBOT replied, "Go down and bring Lemon up with you. But the writers and the community must not bring notice upon themselves from the GIANT ROBOT, or the GIANT ROBOT will slay them.."
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
lulz
tehuberone's Destructoid Blog
Thou Shall not spam is burnt into my head.
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
@tehuberone

the mark of Cain!!!
Thornnn's Destructoid Blog
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
I think that picture is from National Lampoon magazine!

Wow, thats makes me old!
BluDesign's Destructoid Blog
12. That shalt not post shit from ebaumsworld.

Ebaumsworld made a living off of stealing other peoples stuff. Why advertise for them?
MaximusPaynicus's Destructoid Blog
Amen.
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
WOW I am now Excremento Ranked Moses! Thanks Mr. Workman! That's freakin awesome!
DynamicSheep's Destructoid Blog
Nice. Certain people (that aren't here this weekend) need to read and follow.
Namelessted's Destructoid Blog
i like the commandments. Nothing was said about meastpin, can I post meatspin?

for cereal, good stuff.
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
Next time I see a shitty blog, I'm going to post my tablet and cite which commandment they are sinning against.
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
@Namelessted

What is meatspin, do I want to know?
Brad Rice's Destructoid Blog
Wait, don't tell me that all of us editors now have to write our own books, being the disciples of Niero and all. Ron's is going to read like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
If I were Allah, I would have also added "Do a search before you post a blog about that hilarious YouTube video you found, because chances at least nine other people have already written about it". I'd also probably have a kick ass mansion and a pool with a waterfall. Allah is rollin' in cash.
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
@ DMV

I'd read it. I loved Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. But then again, I like SPAM™
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
I have officially rebuked a sinner
ZekeThePlumber's Destructoid Blog
@ Mxyz

You mean the youtube video that are really popular on Digg videos, right?
Excremento's Destructoid Blog
How did Allah get all of that cheddar and all the virgin ladies? He has that kind of pull?
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
@ ZekeThePlumber: I have no idea. I'm still thinking about my mansion and pool with the waterfall. I'd also put in some skeeball machines.
Tristero's Destructoid Blog
Nice list. I was just thinking somebody needs to do this.
LethalHairdo's Destructoid Blog
This is so epic on the biblical sense.
h3lios's Destructoid Blog
Awesome post. Though you forgot one...

Thou shalt spam this thread to make it epic.
Necros's Destructoid Blog
Woot, you put some of mine in!
Necros's Destructoid Blog
Woot, you put some of mine in!
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
Well, numbers 5 and 6 kinda go together, so you could maybe be "inspired" by the GIANT ROBOT to combine them and add another one. "Thou shalt do it for the lulz"?


prev next


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 about me



Greeting true believers!

My real name is Xopher Reed. I've been a videogame acolyte for as long as I can remember. I have well over 25 years of video game experience starting with the Commodore 64 and Intellivision. I can look back at my life year by year and remember fondly what game I was playing at that point in my existence.

Not being content with my sitting on my ass and not proclaiming to the world my views on the gaming industry was the reason I started a blog here on Dtoid. After seeing that my personal blog was going nowhere, I decided that the community here on Destructoid was the only way to go. I'm still here, updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.

Any of you out there who wish to contact me directly can do so at:

Gmail -- xopher (DOT) reed (AT) gmail (DOT)com

Facebook: Xopher Reed

Author of The Ten Commandments for Community Bloggers



NES Games
SNES Games
Genesis Games
Female Game Characters
Dreamcast Games
Fighting Game Series
Shitty Games I Own
Arcade Beat 'Em Ups
Robot characters
Third Party NES Soundtracks
EGM #58 May 1994 Readers' Top 10
Final Bosses (SNES)
Things I'm Excited For In Halo 3
Gaming Beverages
Albums To Game To
Cancelled Games
Worst Video Game Weapons
Best Video Game Weapons
Video Game Vehicles
Most Frustrating Moments In Gaming
Useless Game Characters
Arcade Gun Games
Video Game Sidekicks
Overrated Successful Games
Games That Deserve Sequels
Game Soundtracks
Legend of Zelda Games
MSDOS Computer Games
Games I Wish My Fiance Would Play With Me
Advertainment Games
Games Mrs. Excremento Plays and Enjoys
Games of 2007
Ways To Die
Game Series I Never Get Tired of Playing
Games You Had To Leave The NES On All Night To Beat
Games I Forgot I Owned Until I Found Them While Packing Up My Apartment to Move to My New House
SNK Games



White Russians
Mr. Destructoid's Green Death
Happy Cola
A Pimp Named Butmac
The Electro Lemon
Irish Car Bombs
Neonie's Furry Purple Squirrels
Adios Motherf*cker
Shipero's Italian Martini
Coonskin And Bones
Flaming Dr. Pepper
12-Gauge Shottie
Destructoid Army Green
Miami Vice
The Workman Mojito
n00bmeister's Sneaky Drinking at Work Drink
Necros's Lounge Lizard
The Goomba Smash
Aerox's Lunchbox
Bloodylip's I Have A Dreamsicle

My Game Collection


EXCREMENTO MAKES:

Brownies
Lasagna

SONGS THAT SHOULD BE IN ROCK BAND/GUITAR HERO:

Volume I
Volume II
Volume III
Volume IV
Volume V: JPop Edition
Volume VI
Volume VII

 friends' updates
aborto thefetus's Profile aborto thefetus
10 Things I learned this Week: Communism was just a Red Herring Edition
atheistium's Profile atheistium
I'm in Canada for a Ubisoft Montreal Event
BahamutZero's Profile BahamutZero
Pachter's dumber than a bag of rocks, buy Borderlands.
bluemeep's Profile bluemeep
I love you, Big Lots.
bunnyrabbit2's Profile bunnyrabbit2
Why PAX was great and why I might be around less
ChrisFurniss's Profile ChrisFurniss
Nintendo Power remixed buttons
Conrad Zimmerman's Profile Conrad Zimmerman
No Doubt suing Activision over appearance in Band Hero
Coonskin05's Profile Coonskin05
Improving game communites: No Apparent Reason Parties
Cowzilla3's Profile Cowzilla3
Monday Review: Drag Me to Hell
CronosBlade's Profile CronosBlade
360 Paradise Wednesday Week 2 - 10PM EST
Danmartigan's Profile Danmartigan
How To Win at SF IV Online
da_rza's Profile da_rza
Fails at blogging.
EternalDeathSlayer's Profile EternalDeathSlayer
I think I'm becoming dumber. Or stupider. Whatever it is.
Excremento's Profile Excremento
A Weird Kid's Top 10 -- NES Games That You Had To Leave on All-Night To Beat
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Profile Hamza CTZ Aziz
This Week in the Community: Secret Santatoid
hexfix93's Profile hexfix93
Fails at blogging.
Hinesmdc's Profile Hinesmdc
I just got a FREE 2nd Rock Band guitar!
Hitogoroshi's Profile Hitogoroshi
Catching up on Bru-Ray Releases.
Inquisitor's Profile Inquisitor
My Halloween Costume
itemforty's Profile itemforty
WWJDTN: What would Jesus Do to Nazis?
Jay-Hova's Profile Jay-Hova
Fails at blogging.
Koobert's Profile Koobert
Siren: Blood Curse - The (Secretly) Best Survival Horror Title of the Year? (Lotsa Spoilers.)
kwaselow's Profile kwaselow
Faptoid 1. Why ask for directions when we can just use Google Faps?
LethalHairdo's Profile LethalHairdo
Manliness, Video Games, and You -- Lv. 6: The Contra Duo
Mxyzptlk's Profile Mxyzptlk
Castle Crashers Outtakes [Throw a Bale Temper Tantrum Contest Entry]
Necros's Profile Necros
Cheesy Double Down (fixed!)
neshill's Profile neshill
The infamous embargo
NihonTiger90's Profile NihonTiger90
Forza 3 painter recreates Fantasy Zone's boxart
Nyteshade's Profile Nyteshade
Nine Inch Nails Rocking Tampa: A Photoblog
pedrovay2003's Profile pedrovay2003
Borderlands: Why I believe the PS3 version is watered-down
PraiseChaos's Profile PraiseChaos
Not My Turning Point Gaming Rig
Samit Sarkar's Profile Samit Sarkar
Infinity Ward pulls MW2 Hamels video after Internet furor
ShadowXOR's Profile ShadowXOR
Any other third-party characters coming to Brawl?
Shin Oni's Profile Shin Oni
Tekken 6 made me scared to play. (Review)
shipero's Profile shipero
PS3 Friday Night Fights: Here Ya Go
Snaileb 's Profile Snaileb
I've been having a blast, but miss you too, Dtoid!
SourGr8pes's Profile SourGr8pes
Chalk this RRoD to Human Arrogance...
Tristero's Profile Tristero
BREAKING: New Punch-Out character leaked
TwinkieFGR's Profile TwinkieFGR
Awesome new XKCD
wardrox's Profile wardrox
A Short Film By Wardrox
WastelandTraveler's Profile WastelandTraveler
My guide to making a killer PC on the cheap
Wedge's Profile Wedge
Not My Turning Point Gaming Rig
Woody's Profile Woody
Fails at blogging.
Y0j1mb0's Profile Y0j1mb0
Happy 30th Birthday SilverDragon!!


 

 
  get involved

register or login
post a blog
post a forum
enter a contest
contribute a news tip
suggest a feature
be a guest editor
support

new member's guide
login assistance
tech support
report abuse
email our editors
read our dev blog
nuclear crisis?
keep in touch

RSS feed
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
Flickr
Game nights
Meetup+play online
seriously

about Destructoid
advertising
terms of use
privacy policy
jobs at MM
buy our crap
our network

Tomopop
Japanator
Despingation?




Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
living the dream since March 16, 2006