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About Me

Hey robots, I'm Excremento, but you cool and old skool Dtoiders know that already, this is merely for the N00BS. I've been a videogamer for as long as I can remember. I have well over 27 years of video game experience that I rely on daily, and a near encyclopedic memory of gaming starting with the Commodore 64 and ending with whatever is the current hotness.

I've got my own blog at MediaWhoreNetwork that I try to write on when I'm not too busy...and just recently have decided to come back to do a few Community Blogs here on Dtoid now that most failbloggers don't exist anymore. I'm still here fellas (and ladies) updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.

Any of you out there who wish to chat it up with ol Ex can do so at:

Gmail -- xopher (DOT) reed (AT) gmail (DOT)com

Facebook: Xopher Reed

Author of The Ten Commandments for Community Bloggers



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How to Deal With Trolls
Excremento | 12:24 PM on 04.07.2008 33 comments




Man…where should I start? Never, in the year that I have been attending Destructoid have I been as mad as I am right now. I gave myself to the count of 10, I even tried walking it off. No go, I have to do this or it will bug me all week. Most people on this website know me as a pretty mild mannered and nice guy but I've just about had it with some people.

Consult the 10 Commandments for Community Bloggers

CousinIke...

Your blog, is inflammatory, you need to fix some things. Let me teach you some simple English here; its called PARAGRAPHS, use them to separate your thoughts.

“You know for years I have been sitting by and listening to countless people whine about how the 360 sucks so bad, and how I got red ringed...”

Actually I don’t ‘know for years’, you need a comma there. What have you been sitting by? Are there really countless people ‘whining about the RRoD these days? The 360 has been on the Market for only a little more than 2 years so I think your ‘for years’ is bullshit.

“I remember a time back in 2000 when a little system called the PS2 came out and not to long after that people started crying about how there PS2 won't read discs... countless gamers had lost there systems due to this issues. Hell even I remember having to buy a PS2 cause of this issues... TWICE!”

*sigh* Again with the countless and the lack of commas. ‘There’ is a direction/place, ‘their’ denotes possession, and ‘they’re’ is a contraction for ‘they are’; learn these 3 rules or go Die In A Fire. Comparing the problems that the PS2 was having with the problems that the 360 has had is another bullshit point, the failure rate for PS2s was much lower than the supposed 30% failure rate that most Xbox 360’s were experiencing.

“I waited two years to buy the 360 cause I knew this was going to happen. It happened with the first XBOX it happen with the PS2, shit if I even remember correctly it happen to the Dreamcast also (remember the whole controller port issue) What I'm trying to say is learn from your past. You all set yourself up for buying the system so soon.”

Well whoopteefuckingdoo that you waited two years to buy a system. Do you want a prize for being behind the 8 ball for that length of time? You need to go back to remedial English and learn where to fucking use commas so you can separate your thoughts into cohesive phrases! I set myself up for being an early adopter? Fuck off with that logic you prick. You see yourself as smart for buying a game system when it’s half way through its life cycle? I see you as a pompous ass who has nothing better to do than put up a troll-ish blog on Destructoid.

“I bought my 360 5 months ago, I play COD4 for hours on end, Same with games like Bioshock and Oblivion. Games that push this system to it's limits. I use it as my DVD player, and my stereo in my house. My system stays on for most of the day... and I have never had any issues with it.”

So you’re saying here is that you’ve been burning the candle at both ends, you use it as a DVD player, and a game system. Give it some time and you will probably end up with having issues with it. In this age of optical media games, expect your system to eventually die, RRoD or not. Dude, CoD4 is available on both current gen systems and so is Oblivion, there’s no need to brag about games that aren’t exclusive.

“The 360 is the best system on the market today, it has the best online service, and it has the largest library of games out there.... so get off your Microsoft hating high horse and SHUT THE FUCK UP! you all brought it on yourself.”

You need to take your own advice and keep your fanboy opinions to yourself. This website’s blog is fueled by 2 major fucking rules that you need to learn yourself. First, STFUAJPG. Since you’re new here I’ll spell it all out for you: Shut The Fuck Up And Just Play Games. The second and most important rule of being a Cblogger is DON’T SUCK. You’ve failed on both of these rules and I can’t wait to see the ignorance you are going to be spouting at me for putting you in your place, you little fucking troll. GTFO my internets.



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31 comments | showing # 1 to 31
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wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:38
wardrox
I usually disregard rule 1, but I'm cool like that.

Also, this can of worms you handed me, it looks to be open.
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:39
VWGTI
Wow, scary Excremento is scary.
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:40
Snaileb
Well this is going nowhere...

Also, I thought you were pissed because of the nature of his blog, not the grammar..?
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:43
galagabug
which is the correct fork for troll feeding? i like to use them small 3 prongers for scrimps and whatnot b/c i'd imagine them to have tiny troll like mouths.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:48
blehman
HAHAHAHA!! I love you Excremento. I'm busy as shit at work right now, and this brought a smile to blehman's face.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:54
F Whipple
I just use these:

Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:56
Aaron Mxy Yost
Haven't you ever played D&D? You're supposed to use fire or acid.
Passionate Styos's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 12:57
Passionate Styos
I said this on the IRC and I'll say it again. Fanboys doesn't known what the hell is grammar, nor talking appropriately.

The only thing that kills them is sun light.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:00
Excremento
@ Styos,

I'm hoping our collective laughter will drive him from under the bridge he's inhabiting and cause him to burn up in the hot sun.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:00
vexed alex
Fanboys are a bunch of mark-ass marks, trick-ass marks, punk bitches, skig-skag skanks and scallywags, ho's, heifers, heehaws, and hoolihoos!
VWGTI's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:01
VWGTI
Here is a video of what happens to a troll when they're exposed to sun light. WARNING: Very disturbing footage!
BigPopaGamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:07
BigPopaGamer
Well done Ex, well done.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:15
Y0j1mb0
Hoolihoos??

Note to self: Must use this creative word in my posts sometime.

Also, that pic never gets old, Excremento.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:21
Kyousuke Nanbu
Blogging on D-toid is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:28
Conrad Zimmerman
This is just feeding the trolls further, though. It's not productive whatsoever.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:31
ArrestedDeveloper
Conrad's right, this is pretty counter productive, but dammit people need to learn how to use paragraphs.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:37
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Copyright+2008+Agent+Chieftain/faq-how-to-slay-a-troll--39390.phtml
Gato's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:45
Gato
Very well done.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 13:57
Cheeburga
Simpsons did it.
sevink's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 14:14
sevink
Good post, to my 100% honest. The reason I'm cblogging is only to improve my grammar and spelling. I'm not worried about how often I post or any nonsense like that, but I'm an English major and frankly my lowest point is the spelling. I suck period, I really need to get better. So if you ever want to "grammar police" me, thats fine, I'm honestly here to get better :) and I'm sorry I break rule 2 all the time :(
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 14:57
Kyousuke Nanbu
And fyi, the real way to deal with a troll is to ignore him, not start an entire blog on how he hurt your feelings, all you did was feed into his crap and give him the attention he wants.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:05
EternalDeathSlayer
While I enjoyed reading it, I still feel like it wasn't worth the effort. It's giving them the attention they crave, and besides all that, it's already a known fact that trolls will never go away. They will always exist.

That said, this was still amusing.
razerangel's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:17
razerangel
How hard is is to use paragraphs really they teach it at like age 7?
Conrad Zimmerman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:18
Conrad Zimmerman
@razerangel: The problem with learning is that you actually have to want to do it.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:26
blehman
Nanbu, do you even read the blogs before you comment? I vote no.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:29
Excremento
@ nanbu

Seriously, did he hurt my feelings? Really? Cmon now really? How about you not be a prick with every comment you make. That would make my "feelings" a little better. Asshole.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 15:58
EternalDeathSlayer
Nanbu needs to take it down a notch. I respect his views, but dude, chill out. I don't think I've ever seen you say something positive. lol.
braulio09's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 16:31
braulio09
I love grammar nazis. ♥

Marry me and forget about your damn baby, Excremento.
lucashoal's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/07/2008 16:47
lucashoal
+1, would read again.

Also, lol@Myxy
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/08/2008 01:24
Samit Sarkar
A grammarian? You have won my heart, Excremento.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/08/2008 12:30
Bob Muir
Damn, I haven't seen the cblog commandments in a long time.
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