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Excremento avatar 8:04 PM on 09.01.2007  (server time)
A Wierd Kid's Top 10 -- NES Games

I never was a normal kid growing up I used to hear it damn near everyday. When I was 9, instead of wanting to go outside and play, go fishing, or anything physical, I just wanted to be left the hell alone in my room with my NES. Below you’ll find the list of MY favorite NES games along with a little about each and why.

So without any further stalling, let’s get this ship of reminiscence chugging along.

Number 10: G.I. Joe

See, it includes a PASSWORD FEATURE! Seriously, this is a damn fine game, your typical platformer/shooter but as a kid who had a crapload of the toys, this game was perfect, you even got to use Snake Eyes! Woot!

Number 9: Bad News Baseball

What more can you say about a baseball game on the NES, it was simple, but fun. All of the umpires were rabbits and you got to high five Mr. T in your dugout if you hit a homerun. If you were lucky enough to get a really close call on the base you were treated to a simple cutscene. Pretty badass sports game.

Number 8: The Guardian Legend

I’ll let the engrish from the Japanese release speak for itself…"A huge unidentified object is approaching the Earth. It was made in the far past by another life than the human race, and occupied and inhabited by a vicious creature in the long period. In order to save the Earth, the strongest women warriors go into action."

Number 7: Goonies II

I loved games like this, a good ol’ free roaming adventure game…fucking hard and at times annoying (especially in first person mode). Moving on…

Number 6: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game

The fat kid in me sees the coupon for a “Free Personal Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut inside” and squeals because I have some fat cells from that pizza somewhere in my body. I kid, though it was a pretty good port of the arcade game, minus the good graphics, but it had a few new stages!

Number 5: Strider

Though the controls were kinda awkward to get used to, especially when you’re trying to master the Triangle Jump, the gameplay for this title was totally solid. This is one of the few games where I would hook up my tape deck to in order to record the music. Love it or hate it, this was a solid title.

Number 4: Battletoads


I bet some of you out there would have thought this game would be higher on my list due to my choice of avatar. Well, it probably would be if this game wasn’t so fucking hard. You could fall off the face of the earth in the first stage for Christsakes! Don’t even get me started on the asshole who programmed the snake riding level…here’s a snippet from the instruction booklet. “After her defeat by the Galactic Corporation at the battle of Canis Major, the Dark Queen and her renegade space troops retreat to the outer reaches of the universe, hiding out in dark spaces between the stars. Meanwhile, on board the spaceship Vulture, Professor T. Bird and the Battletoads - Rash, Zitz and Pimple - are escorting the Princess Angelica back to her home planet, where her father, the Terran Emperor, awaits her safe arrival. Along the way, Pimple, the biggest Battletoad, takes Angelica out for a cruise in the Toadster to a nearby Leisure Station. Pimple and Angelica burn space, but the Dark Queen ambushes them before they can get there. Luckily, Pimple manages to send out a distress signal before the Toadster is gobbled up and carried away to Ragnarok's World, the Dark Queen's planet... So, there's the situation, 'toad: the Dark Queen's kidnapped the Princess Angelica and your best buddy Pimple - what're ya gonna do about it?! You're gonna get real MAD, that's what you're gonna do - and then you're gonna get EVEN! Professor Bird's gonna set you down on Ragnarok, but from there it's up to you. You've got a long way to go, 'toad, thru ice and fire and nightmares so terrible you don't even want to imagine 'em - thru a monstrous Gargantua and ultimately to the Tower of Shadows, where the Dark Queen awaits you. Have you got the guts, 'toad? We'll soon see, one way or another...”

Number 3: Bionic Commando

I think I was 8 years old when I first got my hands on my first game for the NES, yup number three on my list was my first game. All I can say about this game is that at the very end you see a 5 or 6 screen slow motion shot of you blowing up Master-D’s (Hitler’s) head. Nuff said…

Number 2: Metal Gear

What more could be said about this game than what’s been said already. We’re less than a year away from seeing the end of the game series made by Hideo Kojima, but this is the origin, and was a damn good game for its time. Hard to follow at times, but a truly great game.

Number 1: Super Dodge Ball

I have yet to find a game that single-handedly brought in to my childhood so much fun. It was a simple premise, throw the ball at an opponent, hit or miss, and try again until the other team is dead…or so it seems. There was a surprising amount of game mechanics for this title, every character had 2 “special moves” initiated by a dash then a throw or dash + jump + throw. Getting a friend to play against is really where it was at with this title. The amount of shit-talking that occurred between my and my NES buddies was amazing. We would even stage local tournaments every month to brag who the better player was. My favorite moment in this game was discovering the special move where the dodgeball completely disappears before smacking the shit out of an opponent.

While I suggest to you all that you check these games out, keep in mind that this is MY top ten and I’m sure there are a lot of you out there who would disagree with me about most of this list. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this post.

Thanks for reading!

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