Ok y'all, thanks to Electro Lemon's persistence, tonight's Top 10 is the antonym of
last night's blog.
Tonight's blog is full of win, instead of the usual facepalm weapons we get in games. I'm not in much of a mood to write that much tonight so, I hope you can all enjoy!
Karasawa Rifle -- Armored Core Series
The best guns in that you pick up in the Armored Core series are all energy weapons, unfortunately they drain your batteries and leave you open to attacks. The Karasawa is a hidden weapon in the original Armored Core and hands the ass of any enemy to themselves within one or two shots, instead of emptying a whole clip into the baddies.
Proximity Mine -- Goldeneye
Lots of LOLs were had in Proximity Mine matches. Lots of LOLs.
Flak Cannon -- Unreal Tournament
Oh man, how many matches were won or lost depending on when I picked this gun up? Many! I loved this weapon for the insta-gibs that this made!
Spread Gun -- Contra
How many of us retro gamers called the spread shot while playing co-op back in the day? In my opinion, the Spread gun = life when playing through Contra. If you can get this on the first stage, you can make it through 80% of the game without dying.
Screw Attack -- Metroid
After picking up the screw attack, if you were good enough, you were effectively impervious to damage by all except Metroids. A damn good weapon that makes your ascent to any level in any Metroid much much easier.
Gauntlet -- Quake 3 Arena
Humiliation! I would purposely go around and try to kill as many people as possible just to get more and more of the gauntlet medals. Wicked looking too.
Napalm Gun -- Cybernator
If you could make it through the first level of Cybernator / Assault Suits Valken without using the fire button on anything except for the first level's boss, you wind up with the Napalm Gun on the start of stage 2. This gun destroys. <--PERIOD
Master Sword -- The Legend of Zelda Series
You can't have a top 10 good weapons list without the Master Sword being somewhere on your top 3. The different abilities of each master sword differ with each game, but the end is always the same...you get the sword, you win.
Shotgun -- Any Game Series
Shotguns are the best thing to ever happen to FPSs, especially the grossly overpowered ones like the one in Halo and Gears of War. Nothing's better than blasting someone in the face with buckshot and seeing their insides turn inside out.
Lancer -- Gears of War
CHAINSAW ON A GUN...BEST FUCKING IDEA SINCE CHAINSWORDS IN WARHAMMER 40,000. You don't mind the lack of a weapon variety in Gears of War mainly because all of the weapons are like how they'd be in real life, damaging and made to kill.
I apologize for not being so damn witty and creative tonight, but i'm tired. I hope you all enjoyed reading otherwise. Please let me know if you can think of any top 10 that you'd like to see. Thanks for reading!
You guys still here?!?
Golden Stream -- Conker's Bad Fur Day
Killing Fire Imps with a golden stream and hearing them say things like "I got pee in my mouth!" was probably the funniest thing I ever experienced in my whole video game history. I couldn't believe that the programmers spent time making this an integral part of the gameplay. Bravo Rare! Now go make a good game not involving pinatas!
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It loses points for no gravity gun, but gains points for including both the Karasawa and Urine Stream which are usually overlooked.
@ Shipero
Eh, doing my research, I've seen waaaaay too many lists with the Gravy Gun. I don't love the mainstream all the time.
You forgot the poostick.
Other than that good list.
Excremento thinks outside of the Orange Box.
Yea, you should explain what alot of them fucking are/do. Than it'd be better, otherwise it's pure quality like always.
Fucking. Win. Golden Stream & PROXIMITY MINE AHAHA
Flak Cannon *splooge*
You, my friend, are win.
shotgun should have won!
booooo
good list.
Missing an important one:
He's technically equipment, after all...
Incredible once again.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this before but you're about at the point where you are obliged to make a "Weird Kid's Top 10- Top 10 Weird Kid's Lists"
I like how you listed the shotgun from any video game. Quite diplomatic of you. I enjoy all of your lists, but I especially enjoy the ones where you talk about the things you like. I'm still smarting from your recent pan of Kabuki's hair.
lol yeah proxy mines were sweet in golden eye, timesplitters 2 also.
Gravity gun isnt a weapon as such... id put and the portal gun way high on a list of best equipment, but not weapons.
Also halo shotgun over powered? How? Now FEAR's shotgun, thats a nice weapon! So satisfying to see your opponents just disintegrate into meat chunks and a fine red mist...
Pretty good list, but it lacks the Land shark gun from Armed and Dangerous. Now that was a weapon.
Gravity gun?
Croooooooowbaaaaaaar!
Persistence, wuh?
About the grav gun...it might be on so many lists but there is a reason for that.
ALSO...
How can you have a list and not have the gran-daddy of them all...ANY GUN from Turok.
Alien Weapon?
Fusion Cannon?
Chronoscepter?
Cerebral Bore?
@ Blindside
I actually had that listed but it didn't make the cut. Along with a few guns from Resistance. This was such a large amount of subject matter that there is no way I could make a top 10 and NOT have someone upset that I didn't put some of their favorites, maybe I need to do a alternative like a top 20 for subjects this large...
Hmm, the voodoo doll from Blood, Red Turtles from Mario Cart, the Razorjack and Black Jack from Unreal, the smartgun from Alien vs Predator 2, several Turok weapons and the Grav Gun (as Blindside listed), ooh and the chicken beak from Heretic!
This is by no means knocking your list, it was totally cool. I just couldn't narrow it down as you have. And I totally would have had your shotgun section as Number 1. I don't care about assault rifles being better at a distance or little uzis that cause the same amount of damage at close range.
Shotgun.
Every time.
@ Blindside
mmmmm, Cerebral Bore. I almost forgot about you my brain eating friend
Number Zero was unexpected and satisfying.