Hey robots, I'm Excremento, but you cool and old skool Dtoiders know that already, this is merely for the N00BS. I've been a videogamer for as long as I can remember. I have well over 27 years of video game experience that I rely on daily, and a near encyclopedic memory of gaming starting with the Commodore 64 and ending with whatever is the current hotness.
I've got my own blog at MediaWhoreNetwork that I try to write on when I'm not too busy...and just recently have decided to come back to do a few Community Blogs here on Dtoid now that most failbloggers don't exist anymore. I'm still here fellas (and ladies) updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.
Any of you out there who wish to chat it up with ol Ex can do so at:
There is nothing better than a good game that has great vehicles am I right fellas? Sometimes, what type of vehicle you ride on or use during a game, can make or break whether the game is a solid AAA title. How many of us loved Gears of War but hated having to do that retarded minigame involving the floodlight APC?!? The game just ground to a halt at that point for me, it was the equivalent of putting a period right in the middle of a great sentence, where it wasn't needed.
On tonight's list I will try to convey to you all my favorite game vehicles. So without any further ado, here's tonights list.
L-P-9999 Yuri -- Lost Planet
Lost Planet introduced an almost Bionic Commando experience to the XBOX 360, the Vital suits the game allowed you to pilot were greatly varied, but my favorite is the VS that you pick up near the end of the game, not only did it fly but looked completely badass...I don't know why, but the headless look of this VS make it seem that much more awesome.
Valkyrie/Veritech Fighter -- Macross/Robotech Series
The coolest mech ever designed by Shoji Kawamori and my all time favorite mech ever made, every iteration of the Valkyrie improves on the past...although my favorite is the YF-21 (seen in Macross Plus). The Valkyrie is capable of transforming into 3 different forms: Fighter - looks just like a fighter plane, GERWALK - (Ground Effective Reinforcement of Winged Armament with Locomotive Knee-joint) lets the aircraft effectively become a VTOL, and Battroid - Turning the fighter into a huge bipedal robot capable of atmospheric flight. The Valkyrie is also capable of zero gravity space flights.
Rush -- Mega Man Series
Rush gets a bad rap in the industry, he's forever known as Mega Man's bitch of a sidekick. He comes in handy in Mega Man 3 and is a hell of a lot more interesting than just the random set of equipment you got in Mega Man 2. It was always cool to turn Rush into a jet board and ride him across most of a level. Good sidekick, bad rep.
Karts -- Mario Kart Series
So many games of Mario Kart so many LOLs I had with each game release. Most of the Karts in the Mario Kart series were generic looking up until we had Double Dash on the Gamecube. There's nothing better than timing that banana peel to make your opponents skid out of control, except maybe the red shells, I loved pegging bitches with red shells in the battle modes...so much fun.
Fire Stingray -- F-Zero
The original F-Zero for the SNES was an amazing game. It's even been on my list before. The best vehicle to use in this version is without a doubt the Fire Stingray. It wasn't quick to accelerate, but holy shit did it haul ass and turn like a dream. Captain Falcon can kiss my ass with his ghey little blue ship, I'm screaming past in my you with my bright pink with flames ship! MOVE!!!
Epoch -- Chrono Trigger
I bet a few were surprised to see this one on the list. There are so many vehicles that appeared through the numerous RPGs in our brief video game history, the Epoch stands out in my mind as the coolest. Sure you have Setzer's Airship in FFVI, but the Epoch could travel through time and when it did it, it looked so fucking cool! Chrono Trigger is still my favorite JRPG of all time and maybe I'm biased, but I never saw a Final Fantasy airship plow its way into the final boss and actually be integral in what ending you get to see.
Vic Viper -- Gradius Series
Ever play Gradius? I sure have, almost ever edition in fact, even some of the Parodius games too! I love the classic space ship blowing up squadrons of enemies to pick up powerups type of old school shooters that just don't exist anymore. The Vic Viper is an iconic ship that has been around since the NES days and probably earlier. If you don't recognize it, or care about it, you should at least respect it.
Electro Magnetic Inline Skates -- Jet Set Radio Series
The skates that the characters of the Jet Set Radio universe are unique, when you kick off with them, sparkly little treads are left almost like the wake from a boat. Not only do they look cool, but there are many, many, many different things that these skates will lock onto and grind on, sometimes defying gravity. The JSR crew that Sega created proved that you can count Sega out of the game just yet...
The Pocket Rocket -- Earthworm Jim
At the end of stage 1 in Earthworm Jim, Jim fishes in his pocket and pulls out what appears to be a jumbo jet engine hops on, and after a little sputtering, is off flying into the distance. The immediate stage that follows involves you racing Psy-Crow through space and through asteroid fields. The unmistakeable "Yippie" that Jim cries out when you get the turbo boost is just hilarity in digital form.
Lightcycles -- Tron
Who didn't pretend in their childhood that you were playing Tron and used your bikes like light cycles? I sure as hell can remember doing just that. The arcade version only teased you, and the Discs of Tron weren't enough to appease me either. Luckily they made Tron 2.0 and made a late-twenties geek really really happy. I remember playing the Lightcycles multiplayer more than the story mode. That's how good it was, it didn't look quite like the move, but it was damn close. And for all of the sound effects to be there along with the visuals, it gave me a nerdgasm! Oh, sorry, I'll clean that up, accidentally got some on the mouse, now the button's stuck, damnit...
Faggio -- GTA Series
The name itself is pure win, cause that's what you look like when riding this awesome scooter. Sure it didn't go very fast but it was pure ownage when you needed cornering ability. Plus, how cool was it to do an endo with a gay little scooter?
Well, that wraps up another edition of A Weird Kid's Top 10. I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed putting tonight's list together. As always, let me know if you have a particular top 10 that you'd like to see, and I'd be happy to oblige. Thanks for reading!!!