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Hey robots, I'm Excremento, but you cool and old skool Dtoiders know that already, this is merely for the N00BS. I've been a videogamer for as long as I can remember. I have well over 27 years of video game experience that I rely on daily, and a near encyclopedic memory of gaming starting with the Commodore 64 and ending with whatever is the current hotness.

I've got my own blog at MediaWhoreNetwork that I try to write on when I'm not too busy...and just recently have decided to come back to do a few Community Blogs here on Dtoid now that most failbloggers don't exist anymore. I'm still here fellas (and ladies) updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.

Any of you out there who wish to chat it up with ol Ex can do so at:

Gmail -- xopher (DOT) reed (AT) gmail (DOT)com

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A Weird Kid's Top 10 -- Video Game Sidekicks
Excremento | 11:02 PM on 10.28.2007 38 comments




There are too numerous games out there that are you versus the world. However, tons of games proved themselves better mainly thanks to their inclusion of a sidekick. Looking up the word in a dictionary gives this result: "a person closely associated with another as a subordinate or partner". Seems pretty easy to make a top 10 out of huh? I thought so too, but that is a shitload of material to comb over to find my favorite top 10.

Going with my near encyclopedic knowledge of games, I started off on this daunting task. Tonight's list is the Top 10 Video Game Sidekicks. Many thanks to [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/bottled+dark]Bottled Dark[url] for help the idea for tonight's list. See you at the end.


PJ Berri -- Parappa The Rapper Series



One of the more obscure sidekicks on my list, if you never played a Parappa game, then I honestly feel bad for you, you really should give one a try. Everyone here knows that an Emcee without a DJ or a good producer is like trying to make an Irish Car Bomb without the Bailey's Irish Creme, it just doesn't work. PJ Berry talks rarely on the games, but Parappa wouldn't be anyone without a guy putting beats behind his lyrics.


Yoshi -- Super Mario Series



Luigi who? There are many games that Yoshi wasn't merely a sidekick, but the main character, but specifically for this list, I'm talking about the coolest character in Super Mario World, damn even the music got better when you were riding Yoshi.

Yoshi came along in Super Mario World on the SNES and proceeded to blow all other characters out of the water in the terms of popularity. The beast has even had almost as many games as the series that spawned his creation. Sure, you have many many different variations of Yoshi, but the only color that works for me is his standard green.


Pikmin -- Pikmin Series



Speaking of Yoshi, did you know that the same voice actor did the voices for the Pikmin? Damn, so many good memories of this game, and some sad...who else got sad when they'd lose their "favorite" Pikmin? The Pikmin are almost the perfect sidekick, mainly because they'd do your bidding. You have to love Shigeru Miyamoto for having such a twisted childhood to spawn the ideas for all of the characters he's made over the years. This game included of course, apparently he made the characters from his experience of gardens that he himself tended over the years.


Pokemans -- Pokemon Series



Damn, that's 3 in a row for Nintendo, I promise that there'll be no more after this one though. Pokemon, love it or hate it is here to stay and has been one of the biggest cultural influences on kids and young adults such as myself. The games pretty much force the Pokemon trainers to have "favorites" such as my un-natural love for my Farfetch'd and the hatred I have for the Zubats in Mt. Moon. Your Pokemon becomes your best friends throughout the game and face it, without a Pokemon, your main character would just walk and ride his bike...laym.


Nall -- Lunar: The Silver Star



A scruffy cat with wings. One of the main characters of Lunar, given to Alex as a child by the same man who dropped off Luna at his house. Not much is known about this character at the beginning of the story, but he fills his role of comic relief quite well, getting into numerous conflicts with other characters and enemies. His character is ultimately revealed to be that of the heir of the White Dragon's powers being just an infant white dragon himself. Nall makes a return in Lunar 2: Eternal Blue as a pivotal character who is well over 1000 years old who is both a sage and saviour of orphans. Definately one of my favorite characters from RPG history except for...


Vivi -- Final Fantasy IX



From the moment I saw the teaser screen shots or the production art for Final Fantasy IX, I knew that I'd love this character. Vivi, a black mage desperately trying to find out if he was simply created in a machine to be used as a soldier or someone special. It turns out that he is actually the prototype of the black mages, meaning he is the oldest (at 9 years old) as well as the strongest. One of the most endearing characters I have yet to see in a Final Fantasy game and is arguably more interesting than Zidane himself (no comparison really, Vivi is the much cooler character). Find a copy of this game and play it, please, FFIX doesn't have enough fans.


Cortana -- Halo Series



Except for the fact that you spend a great portion of Halo 3 searching for her, Cortana is pivotal to the whole Halo series. In the first game, you merely had to ensure that the Covenant were denied access to her. Throughout the game, she proved herself more and more useful, being able to hack the Covenant ships, throw off the monitor on Halo. A truly useful character in the terms of being able to get the exposition out of the way, it was always interesting to know that she was in your head throughout the game, the setting for Halo 3 made one feel like they were truly missing something by not having her along for the ride. Don't get me wrong, Avery Johnson and Miranda Keyes are great characters, they are no Cortana. Though I could have done without all of the flashes in Halo 3.


Daxter -- Jak & Daxter Series



The biggest smartass in recent gaming history, and quite possibly one of the greatest sidekicks in all of gaming history. During the first Jak & Daxter game (The Precursor Legacy) we see him as the braggart, foolhearty character that is the tag along. He falls into a vat of Dark Eco and becomes the Ottsel character we all know and love him as. He did ALL of the talking through the first game, while Jak just sit there and nodded or shrugged his way though conversations. It was great to see them branch out in Jak & Daxter 2 and allow the main character to speak. The best thing to happen to Daxter was to fall into the vat of Dark Eco it turns out, mainly due to the fact that all of the precursors are Ottsels and that he managed to pull a pretty hot character with his animal good looks, not to mention his own bar. Those games were just good fun in my opinion, I love Naughty Dog.


HK-47 -- Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic



Originally created to be the quintessential assassin by Darth Revan, HK-47 (Hunter Killer 47) is your best friend and loyal to the very end as long as you're his master, for those that aren't, stay out of his way. He refers to all organic lifeforms as "meatbags" and is one of the most interesting characters in the whole universe of KOTOR. He flaunts and breaks the three rules of robotics as a principle and loves killing, in fact the only rule that he follows is that he is not allowed to kill his master except by accident. Almost the video game equivalent of Bender from Futurama, his desire to cause violence is insatiable. Its comical how he says quite sadistic or insulting comments while maintaining an almost aristocratic but cheery voice.


Agro -- Shadow of the Colossus



The story of Shadow of the Colossus is just amazing, nothing short of perfect. Agro is the horse of the main character Wander, and plays a pivotal role in helping Wander defeat the sixteen colossi in order to save Mono from her death. If you haven't played it yet, scroll down, I don't want to spoil it for you. On the way to the sixteenth and final colossus a bridge that you are crossing starts to give way Agro jumps to make it but realizes that his section won't hold so he leans forward and throws Wander off of his back, while at the same time falling to his death (as it seems). Fortunately he does live, but the emotion caused by this scene was heartwrenching and the reason why I think that Agro is the best sidekick in video games.


Otis Washington -- Dead Rising


Oh my god, seriously one of the MOST annoying characters in recent video game history. Nothing bugged me more than having to hear the radio ring and ring and ring and ring. Upon answering, if you among zombies, you would proceed to get raped and hang up the phone, he would call you back and demand that you "Don't hang up on me, it's rude." If you've got all of those security cameras and can see me and the other people in the mall, why do you call me right in the middle of a goddamn zombie attack?!? You must die! I'm going to get me some more orange drank to recover some health, bitch!



That does it for another edition of A Weird Kid's Top 10. I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed putting tonight's list together. As always, let me know if you have a particular top 10 that you'd like to see, and I'd be happy to oblige. And for all of you that have submitted ideas, I promise I'll eventually get around to yours. Thanks for reading!!!

Honorable Mentions

Alyx -- Half Life Series
Otacon -- Metal Gear Solid Series
Clank -- Ratchet & Clank Series
Tingle -- The Legend of Zelda Series
Yorda -- Ico
Max -- Sam & Max
Max -- MDK Series
Hanpan -- Wild Arms
Rush -- Mega Man Series
Atlas -- Bioshock
Peter Puppy -- Earthworm Jim
Doc -- Punchout!
Options -- Gradius Series
Floyd -- Jet Force Gemini
Kazooie -- Banjo Kazooie Series
Epona -- The Legend of Zelda Series
Luigi -- Super Mario Series
Diddy Kong -- Donkey Kong Country Series
Pey'j -- Beyond Good & Evil
Dogmeat -- Fallout



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35 comments | showing # 1 to 35
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taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:04
taumpytears
Dude, Nall kicks so much fucking ass. He seriously is the best flying cat/ dragon/ perv thing.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:05
Atlas
Thanks for giving me an honorable mention
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:09
Excremento
@ Rorschach

I don't have any experience with Ratchet and Clank, but he did make the honorable mentions. However Daxter is essentially the same character right?!? I know he's not, but they do seem awfully alike as both are 1/6 the size of their main character and there's a bunch of shooting in the games. I sorry, I have no ill will towards Clank, but Daxter is the better of the two, and my list was like the Highlander, there could be only one.
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:14
Coonskin05
If you consider Atlas a sidekick then he's the worst fucking sidekick ever.
El Fajitas's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:15
El Fajitas
Meh for Cortana( 'cept on first Halo).
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:15
A New Challenger
Options in the Gradius series
Floyd in Jet Force Gemini
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:21
ZekeThePlumber
Eh, Cortana gets far too much credit than she deserves. Half the time you're to engrossed in killing stuff that you forget she's even there.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:23
Excremento
Eh, I like her character. True that she may be a little too popular right now, but she truly is a pivotal character in the Halo series, all three.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:23
B-Radicate
Then why is it a top 10? I kid.

Anywho, you should put a disclaimer so that we know it's only games you've played, 'cause Clank is up there in a lot of people's eyes (mine included).

Also, don't put the honorable mentions at the beginning of the post. It kind of destroys the fun of finding out who actually made the list, 'cause people get pissed about their favorites not making it.

Otherwise, good stuff. I never read any of your other Top 10 lists. I'll hafta start doing so.
JRisJunior's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:28
JRisJunior
id rather not try to argue ur top ten, as it is your opinion. well justified overall.
madninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:29
madninja
Awesome list man. Agro number one *clap* *clap*. I would like to see Clank there but there were a lot of good ones there, even Cortana.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:29
ZekeThePlumber
Needs Kazooie!
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:30
Excremento
@ B-Radicate

You make a valid point, though i won't remove the list of honorable mentions, I think it'd be a better idea to move it to the end of the blog so it doesn't ruin the surprise. And about the disclaimer about only game's i've played, I think that the fact I call it "A Weird Kid's Top 10" does an adequate job of letting people know that it's MY list, not the one that I think that other people want to see. Thanks for the comments though man, I appreciate feedback to help me make a better product.
DanielMachine's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:39
DanielMachine
He does have a disclaimer that it's for games that he's played.
It's right in the fucking title. "A Wierd Kid's Top 10".

Also, Epona should get an honorable mention.
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:39
Butmac
Haha perfecct number zero man hahaha.

Yeah, I think if you played even just one R&C game you would be kicking yourself for not sticking Clank in there :)

Awesome awesome job.
DanielMachine's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:40
DanielMachine
Oops, I was late in pointing out that it was your top ten. Fail.
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:52
Coonskin05
Zeke speaks the truth, Kazooie FTMFW.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:57
Excremento
@ Butmac

I had Epona written down, but I couldn't possibly put two horses on the top ten without raising a few eyebrows toward what my sexual preference is.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/28/2007 23:57
vexed alex
You were right about the whole, "empty feeling" with Cortana. And when you find her you get that, "glad to have you back" feeling.

Alyx and Clank are for true Honorable mentions. That little robot is adorable. Fuck you! I'm keeping my man card!

Another great list, man. Good work.
Danmartigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:07
Danmartigan
i love HK-47 and Agro. A thousand beers for Excremento, barkeep.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:08
Excremento
Gawd, I'm at work right now, I'd love to have a beer as soon as I get home.
8BitSunshine's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:14
8BitSunshine
what about luigi! or even diddy kong. good list though, keep up the work! (pat on the back)
DanielMachine's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:18
DanielMachine
I have another honorable mention.
Pey'j from Beyond Good & Evil. If you haven't played Beyond Good & Evil, you should really give it a try, by the way.
Excremento's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:24
Excremento
@ DanielMachine

Actually, Jade (Beyond Good & Evil) was ranked fairly high on one of my Top 10 lists before, click me
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:26
Clockwork
While Vivi is fucking badass, I dont think he deserves to be noted as a "sidekick." Cause he will rape your family with magic and not look back.
Tristero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:33
Tristero
I love how I can depend on your lists for a unique and personal opinion. It's clear that you love games and have made up your mind on them from your own encyclopedic knowledge.
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 00:55
brosef
Excellent list man.

Otis Washington is more annoying still if you have an SDTV and can't read what the hell he's trying to tell you; then your just getting interrupted and learning nothing, although after playing on an HDTV I realized he basically does that anyway.

btw, I think your next drink should be "The Bomberman". I don't know what should be in it, but I know it should hurt like hell.
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 01:08
Upgrayedd
No Dogmeat from Fallout?
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 01:15
Aaron Mxy Yost
Awesome list as always!
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 02:21
Teta
Great list as alawys.
If i meant to create that list i would add Lopez from Red vs Blue as a honorable mention. Well i mean it´s not a video game, but it´s made out of video games right? He just cracks me up.
ZeroTolo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 07:43
ZeroTolo
Sweet. Nice to see Hanpan in the honorable mentions.
weedgan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/29/2007 08:42
weedgan
Atlas.


Now, would you kindly not put him on that list?
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2007 18:59
Fading Star
Great job Excremento. Thank you for adding HK-47 and Vivi. They two of my favorite videogame characters.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/19/2007 19:00
Fading Star
Great job Excremento. Thank you for adding HK-47 and Vivi. They're two of my favorite videogame characters.
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 10:59
Excel-2011
I don't know what's more shocking about this: that you included the Options in the honorable mentions and not at number 10 or at least number 0, or that you overlooked the Forces in R-Type.
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