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Hey robots, I'm Excremento, but you cool and old skool Dtoiders know that already, this is merely for the N00BS. I've been a videogamer for as long as I can remember. I have well over 27 years of video game experience that I rely on daily, and a near encyclopedic memory of gaming starting with the Commodore 64 and ending with whatever is the current hotness.

I've got my own blog at MediaWhoreNetwork that I try to write on when I'm not too busy...and just recently have decided to come back to do a few Community Blogs here on Dtoid now that most failbloggers don't exist anymore. I'm still here fellas (and ladies) updating as often as I can for all of your enjoyment.

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So, sitting here working on something entirely new for you guys, I decided I needed a break and thought I would throw up a new top 10 just for the hells of it. It's not going to be your typical spit and polish top 10, just a fun little romp through the folds of my crevassed mind while I sit here drinking a little Jack Daniels.

The game series is one that anyone who has touched a game system is familiar with. The main hero that we have all romped through the fields of Hyrule as, the self same avatar who usually doesn't have a name until you give him one. That's right folks, tonight's list will be the top 10 Legend of Zelda games of all time. Hope you enjoy, see you at the end.


The Adventure of Link


Oh c'mon, "I AM ERROR" is enough for me to put this game on the top 10 alone! Nah, I'm just fucking with you. Even though this game is considered the black sheep of the Zelda series. I loved this game for its difficulty and its not traditional RPG elements. The gameplay was all sidescrolling until you're on the overworld map than its overhead. The fighting and dungeons is where this game excelled over many of the other titles that didn't make the cut. I loved how the baddies had a somewhat decent AI when it came to fighting you. The game introduced more towns and NPC's than its predecessor, which isn't saying much, but it did make the world a little more believable.


Phantom Hourglass


I'm about halfway through with this title, and I have to say that I'm very impressed, the Zelda series is always about re-inventing itself each time it's released, and this one is no exception. I just have one problem, I don't read the game manual, is there a way to turn off the stylus movement and slashing, I hate gimmicky controls. Not say this game isn't solid. I can see that it is, but to me a Zelda game should be relaxing, not frustrating. I can't tell you how man hits I've taken from misjudging my distance for a slash.


The Legend of Zelda


The one that started it all. Just look at what an amazing lineup of games this first game had inspired. The graphics were simple for the time, but this game had what many other games of its time didn't have, depth. Who else was stoked to finish the first time around only to find out there was a second quest for you to go on?!? I loved stuff like that as a kid, I seriously made me feel like I was getting my money's worth. Its true I don't own this game, but I borrowed from so many of my friends, I feel like I did own it. Oh yeah, dur, I forgot its on the Virtual Console! I'ma go now and just start a new game using the name "Zelda" so I can start on the second quest.


Four Swords Adventures


Many people didn't like having to buy all of the new gear you had to purchase to play this game with your GameBoys on your GameCube. I wasn't one of them, I am a total peripheral whore. I bought the damn thing for Animal Crossing but ended using it in more and more games that I thought I would have, this game being no slight addition. Continuing on with the gameplay from the GameBoy Advance edition of A Link to the Past (which included The Four Swords) onto the GameCube was a brilliant maneuver by Nintendo to add a multiplayer aspect to the already multi-friendly GameCube. Sure, the game might have been lacking on single player content, but it was a fucking hoot to play with 3 of your buddies wasn't it?


Link's Awakening


Link's Awakening was a special game for me and is subject to the Retro-glasses theory that old games aren't quite as good as we remember them being. However folks, I have bad news for you, I played it tonight, and it was slick as ever. I even broke out the old 4 x AA gamecube with my Nyko 9v speaker setup, all of a sudden, I was 10 years old again. The game would probably have been ranked higher if it weren't for the fact that you were searching for musical instruments to wake up a sleeping egg, that is kinda Fail...but not really.


The Minish Cap


Wow, was I glad that Nintendo let Capcom and Flagship develop this game for the GBA (not to mention the other 2 they made for the GB Color). The gameplay was excellent, but the same could be said for the other Zelda games, and the graphics were bright and vivid. The introduction of Link's cap being able to shrink him to miniature size brought a new element to the series that was quite refreshing. It's too bad that they didn't use it in any other games. I really enjoyed the kinstone hunting you were forced to do to unlock secret areas, but the most refreshing thing is that someone besides Nintendo got a chance to breathe new life into the series.


Twilight Princess


Making it much delayed debut on the new hardware from Nintendo, Twilight Princess was the first Zelda game to be released on both the current generation hardware at the time (GameCube) and the next-gen system (Wii). Many people speculated the game's massive delay on its porting over to the Wii, and I won't comment on how right or wrong they were. Though I tend to lean more toward the conspiracy theorist every time. This was also the first Zelda game to be released at the launch of a Nintendo system, not to mention the first in the series' history to achieve a "T" rating from the ESRB, due to its content. The game was a huge success, and is a pretty damn good game, but I wish that they would have made it a bit shorter, a 60+ playthough for a Zelda game is teetering on rediculous.


The Wind Waker


I recall the hate towards this game before it came out. Put your hands up people, how many of you out there in readerland remember being crushed that they didn't go with the realistic looking Zelda game? How many of you still bought this game? Ok, now how many of you actually loved playing this game? That's what I thought, graphics aren't everything now are they?!? Though my experience with this game was mainly on a 3rd person perspective, I respect it for what it was, a great game. Now all I have to go do is find me a copy before its too late.


Ocarina of Time


This was my first choice as number one, I'm super cereal about this guys. It stumbled on one point, the water temple...jeezuz that was a hard stage to beat in this game wasn't it?!? Not hard like the fighting was tough, but figuring it out was a bitch! Ok, back on topic, Ocarina of Time is heralded by many to be one of the best N64 games ever made. Its true, the game was stunning in its design and the feel of freedom you experienced when exploring Hyrule. I loved this game, probably more than I like any other N64 game out there including Goldeneye (which I feel was a bit overhyped for its days.) Though if you weren't ever a fan of the 3D adventures that Link engaged in than this game, wasn't for you I suppose.


A Link To The Past


Wow, imagine the surprise I had as a child upon opening up that first box at Xmas to find this game (I hadn't even got a SNES yet, but opening this game up kinda ruined the surprise). It was love at first sight, from the moment I got started with the game and the gorgeous 16-bit graphics hit me and the awesome ambient sound started playing. I, like many of you, recall how great of a game this TLOZ was and how utter deserving of the praise it gets, I honestly think that it was solid titles like this game that kept the SNES on top of the Genesis for so many years. Sure, Sega had great games, but none as Earth shattering as the First Party lineup from Nintendo in the 90's.


The CD-i Abortions


I wish I had a chance to play these games, and I'm sure by next year I'll source a copy of the system and the games so I can really see how bad they were. Actually when you look at what the company that made the games had to work with they made a somewhat decent attempt at a Zelda game. However, there is absolutely no excuse for the final boss battles to be over with the use of one item. Don't even get me started on the quality of animation...which was shit, it seriously looked like the animators took Don Bluth fed him nothing but P.F. Chang's, gave him an impacted colon, and forced him at gunpoint to blow his oh-ring out to pass the art. (Disclaimer, I know Don Bluth had nothing to do with the animation, I just wanted to paint a vivid mental picture for you all.)



That does it for another edition of A Weird Kid's Top 10. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together. As always, let me know if you have a particular top 10 that you'd like to see, and I'd be happy to oblige. And for all of you that have submitted ideas, I promise I'll eventually get around to yours. Thanks for reading!!!



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