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Excremento avatar 11:51 PM on 09.25.2007  (server time)
A Weird Kid's Top 10 -- Gaming Beverages

I thought it would be fun to take the Top 10 outside of the realm of gaming tonight's list will be related to gaming, the same way that I'm related to George Bush Junior, tenuously. Tonight it's the Top 10 Gaming Beverages.

Liquids, we all need 'em to survive. Some of us actually imbibe enough daily, while a good chunk of people never get enough. Some of the beverages I'm about to list here can't legally be drunk by kids in America under the age of 21, while drinking the rest could be far worse. I hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the end.


Ahh, the simplest of beverages. The world's greatest solvent. Nothing's better than an ice cold bottle or glass during a hot day. A truly great drink...and the main ingredient in all of the other drinks to come.


Who would have thought that a nasty ass glass of milk combined with a shitload of Hershey's syrup would make such a damn good drink? I wonder who first made chocolate milk? Nothing goes with every meal like a tall cold glass of brown moo juice.


I'm not a brand whore, but I truly prefer the soda that Pepsi-Co makes. I swore off the carbonated beverages over 2 years ago, but can still recall how good an ice-cold Pepsi could make you feel after having a shitty day.


The math for making Kool Aid is simple, a cup of sugar + flavor packet + 2 quarts or less of water = a happy fat kid. Seriously, the grape flavor and the tropical punch makes my pants tight thinking about it. Nowadays its sugar-free Kool Aid for me, not as tasty, but at least the flavor is still there.


A good portion of you peeps out there don't even know what the fuck sweet tea is...well its simple, its iced tea with a SHITLOAD of sugar in it. As much as you put into the Kool Aid Up there, put that same amount in the tea and stir. It gets to go higher on the list because of the added caffeine kick.


Mountain Dew, or as I like to call it, the hard to lose 10 pounds of fat on my ass! Seriously before all you kids had all of these "energy drinks" we old timers had this and Jolt...that's it! Luckily, this drink was alot more available and prevalent than a Jolt machine at the school I attended. I just thought of how much money I spent on this sickeningly sweet soda and it hurt my brain. Truly the nectar of the gaming gods.


It's too bad that this beverage only comes around when the seasons change to the fall and winter. Maybe it;s a good thing really, cause it's definately not healthy. You know that you've got a drinking problem when your favorite beverage is mainly sugar and fat....mmmmmm fat...


Vodka, the wonderful no-tell liquor. It seriously goes will with just about any drink listed above, except water...why would you want to add water to your vodka? My favorite was what we called "The Mountain Dewzer" it involved drinking half of a 1 liter MD and filling it back up with this delicious distilled potato juice.


The only liquor I like more than vodka is rum. Dont forget, "rum rhymes with yum". Kids remember that one line and your teen years and twenties will just drift away on a booze filled cloud filled with regret and remorse...I kid, kids if you're going to drink, do it in moderation, and never drive...thus sayeth the Duffman.


Oh man, I love me some beer. I don't drink often but the best way to get your alcohol fixes is with a good "high-point" micro-brew. I have a hard time with domestics, and prefer imported (especially the Japanese brews), but I've never had a bad experience drinking a good beer. The true gaming elixir, to quote Homer Simpson “Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.” Drink up bitches!

Well, that does it. Hope you enjoyed reading my half-assed attempt at a top ten tonight. I'm gonna go get me a carton of egg nog and get to playin some Haloz. See you all online!

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