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Excremento avatar 8:20 PM on 07.08.2008  (server time)
A Cast of Thousands - Gregg The Grim Reaper

Death, the one inevitability that we all must face. The one absolute to each of our lives, that is unless you're a character in a video game, then death is as avoidable as most common STDs (Protip: look for open sores to avoid Herpes), or steaming piles of dog poo on the sidewalk.

Fortunately, the brilliant minds at Rare decided to put a nice spin on death by giving him a face, name, and perfectly suited attitude for his job. I'm talking about Gregg...Gregg The Grim Reaper...ya know from Conker's Bad Fur Day. For the first good couple of hours playing Conker I had managed to not die. But as the game progressed, the difficulty started to get more...well...difficult, and death was inevitable. Once I finally bit the dust while fighting the HayBot at the bottom of the barn, I was treated to a nice cutscene where you hear a menacing voice calling out to your character. "Conker, Conker, Conker, Yes you boy, You're Dead, You are dead. Dead as a Dodo. Deader than a.." it is then you see one of my favorite video game characters of all time, Gregg the Grim Reaper.

He is one of the few characters in the whole world of Conker the Squirrel that has no issue giving Conker a taste of his own medicine in the form of being a smarmy cunt. In the short introduction between the two characters you get to know more about what its like to die as a video game squirrel than you'd probably care to know.

Now he may not seem like much of a character, but the few times that he does pop up in the game are more than enough to get a feel for the character, especially his disdain for his job that resonates so closely to my own opinion of work. Let's not forget his hate of cats. He bloody hates cats. For the longest time, I as well didn't have any love for the normal house cat.

Not only is Gregg's appearance something that I could never have anticipated, he's also damn funny to boot. I mean, just look at him, he's a diminutive Grim Reaper with a gold tooth! Every single time that i was treated to a scene featuring Gregg, I knew that I was in for a treat.

It might seem strange to be able to identify so easily with a auxiliary character that only has about 5-6 minutes of actual time in the game, but for that moment of time in my life I was Gregg The Grim Reaper. Not that I enjoyed killing people or even slaying cats, but the disdain that he has for his job and all of the smart-assed people he has to deal on a daily basis made him an endearing character that I hope gets his own title one of these days.

The Great Mighty Poo, King Ooga Booga, The Weasels, and the Bee King & Queen were great, but nowhere close to being as funny as Gregg was in the brief times he was featured in the game. Below, I was lucky enough to find a collection of all of his appearances in the game. It's sad to think that he's only in the game for a little over 4 minutes. Oh well, he's still one of my favorite assholes in recent gaming history.

I really don't know if it is the British accents or what, but to this day Conker's Bad Fur Day remains one of my favorite games because of the excellent dialog that each character is given. There is such a variety of individual characters represented in the game, it's hard to believe that the voice acting cast was so small.

I'm not sure how many people picked up Conker's Bad Fur Day on the Nintendo 64 or the remade/censored version that came out on the Xbox as Conker: Live & Reloaded, but I honestly think that it is incumbent on you as a gamer to spend a good couple of nights running through the crazy, platforming, adult oriented world that Rare so skillfully crafted.

Maybe Rare will see the error of their ways in the future and actually decide to take a chance on us adult gamers again...yeah right, fat chance, we all know that we're doomed for more sequels to Viva Pinata and a version of Banjo Kazooie that doesn't seem quite true to the original. Oh well, at least I can game happy because I own both versions and even take the time to play them all the way through every once in a while, its seriously that good of a game.

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