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Community Discussion: Blog by Evergreen | Something about sex: My first time was with Rose EleetaDestructoid
Something about sex: My first time was with Rose Eleeta - Destructoid

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The year was 1995. My family just bought a new PC with a CD-ROM drive! At the time I was in the 6th or 7th grade, and I thought that since we have this new PC, I should be able to get a game for it. At the time, I knew nothing about computer games. Yes, we had a bunch of video game consoles before this, but the only computers we had were an old Macintosh my mom used, and an Apple IIc that my siblings and I messed around with. So when I went to the store to purchase a game, I picked up one that looked like it had photo-realistic graphics. I also noticed the Sierra logo on the box that I recognized from playing Kings Quest on our Apple IIc. And of course, the game had to be a CD game to take advantage of this amazing format. The game I purchased was none other than Leisure Suit Larry 6: Shape Up or Slip Out. I knew nothing of the series, and I'm guessing neither did my mother.



I booted up the game, and was introduced to one of the most catchy theme songs ever! It will forever be engraved in my brain. So I watched the intro cut scene that sent me to La Costa Lotta resort, where I wasn't allowed to leave unless I paid, but was unable to pay since I won stay from the gameshow I was just on. So I started wandering around the hotel, trying to figure out what to do next.

I met numerous gorgeous looking women. They were practically photorealistic. One was covered in mud, but was otherwise nude. Another was wearing a cutoff shirt, just barely teasing you to the point where you knew there was more under that shirt. I messed around in the hotel, stealing supplies, talking to the chicks, and messing around with effeminate pricks. The game was funny as hell, and even though I was pretty young, I understood most of the jokes. But I still had no idea what the point of the game was. The women in the game seemed to be a focal point, simply because when you talked to them, you were treated to a fairly detailed picture of them. Much like in real life, they were puzzles to be solved.

In messing around, one of the women that I ran into was a woman named Rose. She was this beautiful Spanish woman who worked in this strange room, doing something called a "High Colonic Treatment." Whatever that was. I talked with Rose a bit. She tells me she wants a gift. So I start giving her things. Yet she turns them all down. I wander around the hotel a bit. I go back up to my room. Hmmm... there is a flower on the table. Rose's room was full of flowers. I think I'll give her one!

I go back down to Rose's room, excited that I have the answer to at least one of the women. I hand her the flower, and I learn just a quickly as Larry did was "high colonic treatment" was. And I got a flower in return. What bullshit! And when I tried to go back and talk to her, she was gone! I was once again confused as to what to do next. But at the same time, I will always remember Rose Eleeta, as she was my first of many.



I was determined to beat the game. It may have taken me years to finally beat the game (this was before gamefaqs). In fact, I don't think I beat it until high school. But there was something about Rose. Unlike the other women in the game, she was pure. She had no strange intentions of screwing me over. Hell, she gave me a free colonic, as terrifying as it was! The other women in the game burned me (except for Shamara, who burned me in the next game). With Rose, it was simply mis-communication, simply because English isn't her first language.

After I beat LSL6, I went back and beat all the other Larry games, including Softporn. Hell, I even programmed a version of Softporn for the TI-86 graphing calculators that actually spread around my high school. But Larry 6 will always be my favorite, and Rose my first. By succeeding with Rose, I learned in real life (and in the game) that sometimes, you need to fail with chicks before you get lucky. I learned that being the nice guy and trying to be helpful will put you in a woman's favor, but the end result may not always be what you want. I learned everything I know about chicks from Larry, for better or for worse. I barely even knew what sex was at the time (I went to a private school that did not teach sex ed), but because of Rose, I learned more than school could have ever taught me. I also learned a bunch of wine names too, because the women of LSL6 were all plays on types of wine.

I know this blog is supposed to be something about sex. And while I didn't necessarily have sex with Rose, I'll always remember her as my first.



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