EternalDeathSlayer's Profile - Destructoid

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Hello there Destructoid. I don't game as much as I used to when I was an extremely active member of the website. I've had a 3rd kid as opposed to the 2 I had back when I joined and I've discovered that there are other things to do besides play video games. But I'm still a gamer for life.


Xbox 360




PS Vita

Decent PC for gaming


My Favorite Games:

I used to have a list here but honestly I've changed my mind quite a bit over the years. I played Chrono Trigger again like I do ever year or 2 and decided that it's dialogue, like many old (and many new) JRPGs, was just too shitty and juvenile for me to actually take seriously anymore. I guess I'm just getting old.

My favorite games in no particular order are Resident Evil 4, God of War, Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario Galaxy, Legend of Zelda A Link to the Past,Final Fantasy Tactics, Batman Arkham Asylum, and Chrono Cross. Pretty sure I've forgotten a few games I might remember when asked what my favorite games are in the future. It changes a lot.

This website used to be the best on the internet. Hopefully it will get back to that point, or close, some day soon. I'll probably never fully leave anyway.

Following (42)  

Confession: I barely play video games anymore. Although that hasn't stopped me from keeping current on the industry and all of it's happenings, I suppose that in the interest of so-called full disclosure I should share that information with you fine readers of my crude and disjointed blogs. I started watching TV a bit, although only one show (Game of Thrones). I've also gotten into comics over the last 3 or 4 years, spending more and more time with them over that span. And my wife and I watch more movies and spend more time together. At least when she's not playing World of Warcraft. I hate that fucking game. Besides that I just haven't been interested in a lot of the games that have come out this year. I'm excited for HD Nintendo games and just hope I'm able to nab a pre-order for the Wii-U. Maybe that will get me excited again.

I should have mentioned all that in my last blog, which I'm once again too lazy to link to. It was the one where that disgruntled community member bitched about the community and to an extent the website as a whole. I'm sure most of you saw it. A few have responded or reacted with a blog of their own. I'm now reacting, not responding, to those blogs.

Clearly I'm going to have to get over the fact that the old writers and community members are gone, probably forever in almost all cases. And clearly if I want to see Destructoid be successful, which I always wanted, I'm going to have to accept a few changes to the way things work. There's a certain way respectable publications act, and Destructoid seems to have sort of gone down that path. They're still more honest than most websites and they're clearly not letting anybody on the outside really influence them. I get it. All of it.

But that doesn't mean that my complaints are now completely invalid. From what I can tell from my daily visits the community does not seem as tight knit as it used to be, nor do I see as many regulars as I used to. I also see a hell of a lot more stupid comments than I used to. Of course I'm not as actively engaged as I used to be, so perhaps this is just me being really fucking negative in my perception of the website these days. At a glance I simply don't like what I see anymore. This place used to be filled with interesting stuff to read, regardless of the writing quality of a lot of it. People said crazy shit, they wrote in-depth stuff with a lot of depth, and they also had a lot of fucking fun.

That's all I really have to say about the community for now. I need to get to know the newer people more. That's obviously a failing of mine, not the community's or Dtoid's.

As for the website itself, my thoughts are unchanged. It's boring and I'm not a big fan of it anymore. There isn't much else to say without my getting mean and nasty and looking like a total cock-munch. Once again I'll try and blog more though there is no guarantee I actually will.

I've been noticing a trend around here: There are fewer and fewer comments posted on the majority of articles posted on the front page with each passing week. At least it seems that way. I haven't bothered to get scientific and actually track this shit, but it sure as hell seems like nobody has anything to say around here anymore. Getting 20 comments seems like a miracle for most of the writers not named Jim Sterling. Even Holmes doesn't seem as popular.

Has anyone else noticed this? The staff? The readers? Is there a reason for it? Are the page hits and unique visitors down or up? Has the site become more and more popular at the expense of it's community?

I don't know the answers to those questions. I just know this site still sucks. I wrote a little rant a while back complaining about the lack of personality on this site. I got a lot of comments and was assured things would get better. Guess what? They haven't! Perhaps that explains it.

Or maybe nobody cares about Tony Ponce and all his corny videos and nonsense he posts (especially that fucking "video game rapper"). Or all the other writes who are so boring I can't remember their names. At least I remember Tony's name. He's a good writer who likes corny shit. At least he likes something.

I'm not going anywhere with this. I don't have the time. Just wanted to point out how terribly boring it's gotten around here. Also, I read IGN more than I read Destructoid now. FUCKING IGN. They're boring but they bring a lot more to the table these days than Dtoid does.

I used to love it here. Not anymore. Now I feel out of place when I visit.

That is all. Goodbye for now.

I don't have a lot of time at the moment so this blog is going to be short. I haven't done any real research either so shut the fuck up.

So apparently the bad guys in the newest Tomb Raider game rub Lara's (very nice) legs or something like that. While this would technically be sexual assault in most countries if the person being rubbed did not want to be rubbed, it's certainly not rape. That usually comes later.

And even if some bad guys do try to rape Lara, what's the problem? I mean, who knew bad people (criminals) who hurt, kill, and steal would also partake in a little rape from time to time? It's shocking, I know. It happens in movies and on TV shows and it happens a hell of a lot in many books. Don't like rape? Don't read A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones for those unfortunate enough to not enjoy that particular series). Or the Bible. Pretty sure there is plenty of rape there. Or how about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Nobody is calling Lisbeth, the main character, a girly girl or a weakling, but that bitch got raped and abused pretty bad by some creepy fat guy. She took the rape and abuse and waited until the time was right to get her revenge. Apparently when you're all dark and goth you're considered resourceful and intelligent for getting raped and then getting revenge.

Lara, on the other hand, is apparently being objectified and used for male power fantasies. Thing is, unlike Lisbeth, Lara is taking guns and spears and killing her would-be rapists before they get the chance to do anything. And you can be sure that if she does suffer any rape the player will be given the opportunity to kill the fucker that did it.

So really all I'm saying is that the people who have a problem with this game are wrong, plain and simple. It's not all gray like Jim Sterling said in his article about it. Anybody doesn't like the idea of a woman getting raped in a game or movie or book has the choice to simply not play, watch, or read about it.

Of course that doesn't really explain why they're wrong. They're wrong because rape is real life. Women get raped every day. Men get stabbed or shot or poisoned when some women take revenge. People hurt people. Men hurt women. Women hurt men. People hurt people. And animals. And children.

And these things should never not be included in a video game, whether it's to shock and surprise or to genuinely serve some sort of purpose for a given story. Movies, TV, and books are left alone. Video games should be too. You're free to disagree but you're also wrong if you do. It's called freedom. It's always right.


Feel free to use my choice of words and language (like referring to Lisbeth as a bitch) as the basis of your argument for why I'm a pig or something. That's what stupid people usually do. They find something unrelated to the issue at hand and wave it around like a retard with a balloon.

Have you ever received an expensive gift and not known what to say to the giver of said gift? I bet you have, unless you're poor or something. Usually one experiences this feeling of speechlessness due to the genuine shock and surprise they feel. I felt this way the other day, except I wasn't shocked nor surprised. I was upset.

You see, I had just received a PS Vita from my wife. She went and spent 300 American Dollars on the 3G model with it's useless AT&T data plans so that I could download it's mostly useless games and other asscockery. When she handed it to me, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't excited or anything of the sort. I had a general feeling of "meh" inside me. So I pretended to like it. I'm still pretending to like it. But it has sort of grown on me. Shame it's seemingly dead in the water already.

That's probably the most disappointing part of this whole fiasco. After spending some time with the system and playing some games, I think it has enormous potential as a portable gaming device. Unfortunately somebody forgot to tell Sony that the world isn't interested in this type of thing anymore. Why spend 250 dollars on an easily breakable console with expensive games when you can spend a bit more and get yourself an Android tablet or iPad with a warranty and cheap-as-shit games?. Hell, why spend 250 dollars on this when you can get a 3DS for 170 and enjoy world-class Nintendo games on a durable piece of hardware?

Better yet:


Seriously what the fuck is Sony thinking here. Either include a large flash drive inside or support SD cards. A 32GB PSVita memory card costs 100 fucking dollars at normal retail price. Sure, you can find it for less, but not much. Sony just keeps doing stupid shit like this over and over again, seemingly never learning from any of their mistakes. They just keep fucking us over. Of course, you could just buy what seem like SD cards with the games on them. Yeah. Stick it in there.

Did I mention there are apparently NO games coming for this thing in the near future?

Yeah. It sucks.

But there are some bright spots. Uncharted is a fantastic piece of software. I am sure I will enjoy listening to Nolan North when I'm taking a shit on the toilet. I also really like this little downloadable title I got called Tales from Space: Mutant Blobs Attack. It only cost 8 dollars and is fully of charm and creativity yet is also very simple. Even my kids enjoyed it.

I'm sure there will be something else worthwhile for the system at some point. Perhaps an entry in one of my favorite series, God of War? I'd like a Resident Evil game as well but I won't hold my breath. Whatever they put out, it had better start coming soon. I'm not too enthralled with the current lineup. Shit needs to improve. You know there is a problem when you're not even too excited to get a product for free. Free!

It has a nice screen. Goodbye guys.

I was one of the true believers. What did I believe? That Resident Evil 5 would be just about the best thing ever. That being able to play with a friend was only going to enhance the experience. That Capcom would not let me down under any circumstances. That these fools who considered the very idea of multiplayer in Resident Evil to be some sort of affront to humanity were all going to be proven wrong.

Of course, who could really blame me for feeling that way? Capcom had previously delivered what I consider to be one of the greatest video games of all time in Resident Evil 4. That they had done this while making drastic changes to the series formula only served to fuel my confidence in my opinions even more. What's more, they even decided to combine this new method of frightening and tense action-oriented gameplay with fan favorite characters Chris Redfield and Wesker. The graphics were beautiful. The story was going back to the beginning in a sense. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.

Then the game came out. I spent all weekend trying to find a store that was breaking the street date but was unsuccessful until about 6 hours before the game's scheduled midnight release. I got the game, went to a friends house, and we proceeded to play the game for 13 hours straight. We finished it in one sitting. When I was done, I felt extremely satisfied, like I had just slept with a supermodel after killing some Nazis. You know, routine stuff. Then I went back and played the game by myself.

Never mind that the game is absolutely awful to play with a CPU controlled partner. What really stood out was that I never felt tense or nervous like I did while playing Resident Evil 4. Slowly I began to realize that I never felt that way while playing with my friend either. Lost in all of the explosions, gunshots, and healing Sheva by touching her breasts was that feeling of tension that the Los Illuminados used to fill me with. That jumpy, What-the-shit spanish people are suffocating me feeling was gone, replaced by the knowledge that either my friend or some African chick were going to be there to back me up and even work together with me to progress. After all, the idea of cooperation was suggested throughout the game even if it was only ever a bullshit excuse to enable co-op. You were meant to feel like you have a pal to back you up.

One example of this is an early encounter with a chainsaw wielding maniac. The game finds a way to separate both players, which theoretically should be a bit more tense than when you're standing side by side. But it doesn't, because the game gives one player the opportunity to take a few wide open shots at the incoming zombies from a nice flanking point. I didn't realize it at the time, but this is when I should have started asking angry questions like "What the fuck is this? Gears of War:The African Front?" followed by another "What the fuck". As I said before, this wasn't the case at first.

No, Resident Evil 5 is a cruel god. It quickly reveals it's deception which then slowly turns to disappointment over time. Not just another game to me, I was in fact ready to take it's big, black zombie penis straight inside me for all eternity. This was like finding out that the sexiest, sweetest and most beautiful man who wants to have anal sex with you has a diamond encrusted Prince Albert ready to rip you to shreds as soon as you bend over for him. Which, of course, is exactly what I did. I ranted about how awesome the game was to anybody who would listen for the first couple of months. I feel like an idiot sometimes when I think about how obsessed I was with the game.

Beyond destroying the strongest component of Resident Evil 4's gameplay, Resident Evil 5's insistence on 2 people killing Africans as a duo also invaded the game's story. For some reason I can't get over the fact that Wesker was killed by Chris Redfield and some new girl. Why couldn't it at least be somebody with a real history within the series? Instead we got some sexy ass bitch with a made-up back story about Umbrella fucking her village over. That gives her common ground with other main characters but does nothing to make her stand out from the pack. I just didn't care for her.

This is not to say the game is bad. It's certainly a fun romp with a friend and it does continue the series story and brings things somewhat full circle. It has incredible action set pieces and shooting black people in the face is always a good time (at least if you're a cop) . But it's not what I expected nor what I wanted. Only what I thought I wanted. It wasn't made for me. It was made for Call of Duty fans. That's fine. I've accepted that. Just make the next game for people like me.

As I look forward to playing Resident Evil 6, I can't help but worry about what Capcom is working on. 600 different people have worked on this game? Something tells me they don't all work in the same building and if that's the case I suspect there are different people working on different portions of the game. A fractured development for a numbered entry isn't what this series needs. Hopefully things will turn out better this time. Only time will tell whether or not Resident Evil has truly been lost to the corporate machine that Capcom seems to be slowly turning into.

Hopefully they won't disappoint me this time.

I have to admit that I find it strange to be here, typing up an impromptu blog post while hanging with my kids. After all, it's been a long time since I last did this sort of thing on a regular basis. I used to share my bi-polar opinions with the Destructoid masses on an almost daily basis at one point. I had my (abnormally large) fair share of failures at the beginning. Epic Fails, as we used to say around here before it was cool and overdone. And I never felt like I truly got any respect from the Destructoid staff or community, but that's largely my own fault and that's not really something that I'm worried about. Besides a short period of time at the beginning of my Destructoid life, I haven't done this to get attention or be to be liked by anybody. Read my past blogs and you'll see that. I only ever wanted to talk about some fucking video games and share my totally correct opinions with a bunch of like-minded assholes . If I can make you laugh at the absurdity of the things I type or the ridiculously strong nature of some of my opinions on certain topics, more power to my bad self. I just enjoy writing shit about video games.

For the past few years, Destructoid has allowed me to do just fucking that. No matter what time of day it is, you can write a blog and there is a chance you'll get some sort of response from somebody, provided you either write a good post or act like an asshole. Hell, even if you write a crappy post, chances are somebody will offer you some advice on how to do it better, or at least somebody will tell you you're doing it wrong. That's how it used to be. I don't know if it's like that anymore or not. I've been out of this for a while. The site isn't the same for me anymore and I doubt it ever will be. I'll still come here for the news over some corporate site any day of the week, but I can't see me going back to blogging on a daily basis ever again. To be honest I don't even feel comfortable around here anymore. I feel like nobody knows who the fuck I am.

But I've been hanging around the past few weeks. I'm spending more time at the desk now that I have another baby. My wife and I sleep at different times due to work and the baby, so I find myself not being obligated to sit on the couch all the damn time. It's great, really: We watch a movie and have sex and then one of us goes to sleep. Oh, and there's always dinner cooked for me and no mess to clean. The wife thinks I can't handle the kids and the cleaning and work. I'm a happy camper right now. I'm guessing this is a good time to stop talking about this topic.

But anyway, back to what I was saying. This place is basically the same as it was 5 years ago when I first started coming here.The community members are not all the same, but the type of people that have replaced them seem to fit in just fine. I'm going to try and spend more time blogging in the immediate future. I've said that line of bullshit before, but this time I feel like I'll honestly stick around. I'm hoping to see better writing on the front page, but that's something I'm slowly realizing is going to take patience. These guys are solid writers, they just need to grow some balls and put themselves out there. If we don't like you, then you can probably find jobs somewhere else that has a less casual tone than Destructoid.

If you haven't realized by now, this post is going nowhere in particular. I just felt like typing about Destructoid after finding out it just turned 6. I forget sometimes how long it's been here. I visit every single day for the news. It's become so routine for me that I never stop and consider how much it's changed and grown over the years. So this was me kind of doing that. I just felt a bit nostalgic and shit.

So this is me saying Happy Birthday, Destructoid. I hope things get a bit better on the front page, but know that I don't doubt that you're trying. I just hope it all works out well. See you soon bitches.