So it's like 9 AM here in lovable old New Jersey, and I've been struggling to get my children to eat their breakfast, as has been the tradition since we returned from our vacation in Walt Disney World a week ago. It's been a difficult experience, readjusting to this post-Disney life. It's hard not eating Mickey Mouse pancakes with the man himself for $35.99 plus tax every fucking day.

The lesson as always is do not have children.

Anyway, what's up Destructoid? Hopefully if you're a male, your cock isn't, cause that would be strange. I'm an ugly dude. As you might expect, my gaming has been down due to the previously mentioned vacation, but I did just recently receive a few games from reliable old GameFly. I love GameFly for it's ability to allow me to rent a lot of games that are worth playing but not worth buying. Games with great gameplay but extremely short length or severe lack of content.



Games like X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Remember, I just got back from vacation. I only received this game on Thursday and yet I had beaten it by Saturday, which is a short amount of time for me. I only play an hour a night on average nowadays, so this game is obviously not worth the $60 it would have cost to buy it. This is fine and even somewhat acceptable, considering the title is a licensed movie game. Besides this, the core game is extremely fun and satisfying. Perhaps a bit too fond of other games like God of War, but fun nonetheless.

I feel bad because I'm not technically supporting the title, but oh well. Perhaps next time the developer and publisher will spend more time crafting a game of value and substance, whatever the fuck that actually means. Good luck to them. If they hit the mark, I'll surely notice and then perhaps next time I'll buy their game. But for now I will mostly rent games like this. I've been burned too many times now by games like this, games you shell out $60 for only to be finished playing in a few days time.

Fuck that shit.

So how bout you Dtoid? Any of you feel the same way as I do about rentals? Some hardcore industry advocates try and say renting is just as bad as stealing, but I certainly don't feel that way. If I really and truly love a game I rent, I'll buy it. Of course people say that all the time, but do they really do it?

True Story: I once split the cost of a rental of Star Wars Battlefront with a friend when it was a new game, and I did in fact buy that game the next week due to that rental.

Oh snap.

PS: As for the word "games" in the title, ya know, the plural version of game, I also rented Ghostbusters but I haven't gotten around to playing it yet. I would have liked to talk about that game as well but who knows when I'll be able to blog again? 20 minutes of computer time is tough to come by when you live with my wife.

Fuck that bitch.

Hello, Destructoid. It's been a while. Sure, I've commented plenty of times lately. But I have not blogged in what feels like an eternity (probably 2 months or so), and so I am here now to ruin your day with my presence.

You're welcome.

Anyway, what to blog about? We could talk about all sorts of stuff that's going on in our favorite industry right now. But most of it is meaningless bullshit that most sane people would literally laugh at if confronted with. Like that fucking ridiculous Left 4 Dead 2 "petition". By "petition" I mean "list full of self-important morons who think they mean shit to anyone", but why bother going on a meaningless rant? I'll probably just piss a few people off and end up feeling and looking like somebody with way too much time on their hands.



Which is exactly what I am, but I'm also lazy so I will leave my thoughts on the L4D2 shitfest at this: It's a fucking game made by a fucking game development company. They make games to make money. The company in question has probably been the most loyal and least greedy developer in the history of games. This does not excuse them from being assholes, but it does IMO mean they are allowed to make a cash grab or two every now and then without a mass revolt happening. Times are tough. In this economy it doesn't matter how awesome your business model is, costs will go up or have gone up no matter what. Give them a fucking break. It's not the end of your life, and if it is, then you needed to end that shit anyway. Preferably in a fire.

Moving on, what other bullshit are we whining about these days?



Max Payne 3 has been shown off in the past few weeks, and it's kind of pissed people off. Not in a ridiculously overblown way like L4D2, but quite a few people seem displeased with the look of the game. These people have the right to not like it, but again, who really cares? The real Max Payne series pretty much ended when Remedy gave up the rights to the game, so this game is just a bonus opportunity to play some more Max Payne all these years later. It's not going to change your life in the slightest (unless you've got some sick fascination with Max Payne), a feeling echoed by community member Vexed Alex in a recent cblog. He is absolutely right, and this line of thinking generally applies to all sequels, remakes, and reboots out there.

Sure, your beloved and cherished video game character may not act or look how you love and remember him or her, but does it really matter? It's quite easy to ignore stuff like this. Just don't play the new game, and if you do play it out of curiosity and still aren't happy, just forget about it. The old games you love are still there, and they are usually still the same. Nothing that comes out now is going to change anything that's already happened. So yeah, we need to stop bitching about this stuff so much. It drives me up a fucking wall, and I really don't like driving up walls. I have small children in my house. They could get hurt.

Anyway, that's all the time I have for now. I'm going to try and get on here and bitch a little bit more if I can. It all depends on my wife and her WoW Guild's schedule, really. She plays way too often with these new people, and she already played too much to begin with. They are keeping me from my Destructoid more than ever.

Fuck her new guild. Fuck it in the ear. Fuck it in the other ear.

Also, one more little thing before I go: Can we finally stop with the "I NOT downloaded this game the other day" shit? Seriously, who cares? Why joke about it or beat around the bush? Just say "I stole this game the other day, I love it" and move the fuck on. Seriously, it's fucking retarded. Thank you.

Goodbye for now Dtoid. I love you always.....

Hello Destructoid, I've missed you a lot lately. I haven't had much of a chance to blog, due to a combination of my wife and her unstoppable and uncontrollable World of Warcraft habit and my son's recent but no less powerful addiction to using the computer to play crappy PopCap and Nickelodeon games. I had to put a power-on password up on this bitch to punish him today for refusing to get off the computer and eat dinner.

Yeah, don't have kids.

Also, as a side note to myself, I really hope this blog doesn't get buried under a bunch of shitty blogs, a fate that seems predetermined for most blogs anyway at this point. It deserves to be on top of them, as it is the shittiest of them all. I'm sorry.

Anyway, I recently decided to sign up for the much loved GameFly service that so many community members use to "get their game" on or whatever GameStop is calling it these days in their shitty ads. Power to the Players, dawg. But yeah, GameFly. I signed up basically so I could play some of the game I wouldn't buy anyway. Usually I prefer to buy games and I feel bad that renting games isn't exactly something that supports the industry, but at least I'm a paying customer and not breaking any invisible laws that nobody seems to follow these days.

So I feel OK with myself, which is easy in the end considering how much money I will save. I've got 39 games in my GameQ. Also, it allows me to keep up with my best friend in our Achievement battle, since I don't actually go out of my way for them usually. With GameFly, I can at least keep up.

So what did I rent first? Arguably the greatest rental ever, at least for someone who's last rented game was Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. Yeah, it's been a long time. Anyway, the game I'm referring to is 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand.

I honestly haven't had this much fun with any other game besides Resident Evil 5 in a long while. It's a shame the game is both short on substance and short of length, otherwise I'd actually spend the cash to buy this and support Mr Cent, who I hope continues to have games made featuring himself, at least so long as they can continue to keep up a level of quality equal to this entry. Whereas the last game sucked ass, this one is a really a blast to play, preferably with a friend and some alcohol and/or pot if you're into that sort of thing. It helps even more if you're the type to laugh at stereotypes and stuff of that sort. Racists may even get a kick out of it in their own sick way. It essentially rapes the gameplay of Gears of War and marries those gameplay mechanics to one of the most ridiculous and fucked up scenarios I've seen in a long while.



As most of you have probably heard, the whole point of the game is to get some stolen jewelry back, which was meant to compensate 50 Cent and his "crew" or whatever they call themselves for a concert in the Middle East of all places. Somehow, and I have no idea how honestly, 50 ends up killing terrorists, and lots of them. How fucked up is that? This guy kills like 1000 people all for some fucking diamonds in an ugly ass skull? Wow. What a role model for the young kids in the hood. Then again, his music isn't exactly conveying a better message.

Even more fucked up? I find it hilarious, regardless of the message it sends any kids or morons who idolize the man. It's awesome. It is the greatest excuse I've ever had to kill people digitally as far as I can remember. You're essentially playing as a villain, not a hero and not a fucking anti-hero, before anybody suggests it. He's a deranged maniac. I mean, doesn't he already have like hundred of millions of dollars just from his stake in Vitamin Water? Can't he just forget it? Walk away? No? What a fucking guy. He makes Marcus Fenix look like a kind, sensitive man with real feelings. It's great.

Also, and I know this has probably been said in a million stories about this and the last Fiddy game, but as a 22 year old male, I know the guy was shot 9 times and barely survived it. So can anybody explain to me how he's now gone through two games and somehow survived being shot at least 1000 times now? And don't tell me it's his bulletproof vest. You'll survive machine gun turrets to the head and even rockets to the chest on the hardest difficulty. The guy is a fucking action hero at this point. Based on T3, I'm surprised we're not seeing him in the upcoming Terminator film. Did Skynet kidnap him and create the T-50 or something? What the fuck?

Basically, I'm saying the game is pretty fucking easy. You'll have to excuse my bringing the Terminator into this, but I'm a bit excited. And yes I know it probably won't be that great compared to T2. But it's got robots that kill people.

Also, don't let the easiness part dissuade you from trying it. It's not exactly a total cakewalk, but the arcade style gameplay lends itself to an easier game on the whole. Everything is kind of set up for you to dominate.

Anyway, I know I haven't gotten too deep into the mechanics of the game or any of it's features, but I don't feel the need to. I just felt like talking to you guys for a few minutes here while I wait for these damn kids to go to bed so I can get back to popping caps in muthafuckas. The bottom line is that if you're a fan of shooters, stereotypes, black people, ironic shit, or even just a fan of the man himself, you need to rent 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. You're bound to get a laugh or two at the very least, and you may even find yourself enjoying it's simplistic and arcade like gameplay.

Also, based on the title of this blog, I'd hope that any of you who comment would let me know what you're personal favorite rental is or was. I'd be interested to hear what some of you consider a solid rental. It probably differs from my opinion quite a bit, but then again I haven't rented a game in a very long time, as I mentioned earlier.

Well, take care Destructoid. Thanks for continuing to make me laugh every day. I need that shit.

Author's Note:I originally posted this blog over the weekend but quickly took it down. I don't know why. Whatever

OK, before I start talking, let me just say one thing: It is undeniable that I am a Resident Evil 4 fanboy. If you read my blog regularly or even check my profile, you'll find evidence that I am in love with that game. It's one of my favorites of all time. And although I don't put them on a pedestal like RE4, I am a fan of the entire Resident Evil series as a whole. I've played all of the main entries throughout the years, and I absolutely love the campy yet fascinating bio-terrorism themed story. So keep that in mind while I talk about RE5.



My story begins on Thursday, March 12th at about 8 PM EST. I was at a local 7-11 getting myself 4 16-something ounce cans of Red Bull as part of my preparations for the night ahead. As I got the to register, something caught my eye amongst the fuckton of calling cards, cigarettes, and crappy DVDs. Something wonderful, something precious: A copy of Resident Evil 5, a game I had waited more than 3 years for and was 4 hours away from owning, due to me paying for the game about a year ago at GameStop.

I asked the old Indian man behind the register if it was for sale, to which he replied "Yes, but you must promise not to post picture on the internet!" or something of that sort. He also told me no receipt and no debit or credit. He also said it would be 65 bucks straight up, instead of the usual $64.19 it is in NJ. No receipt and a special 80 cent tax? No problem. I gladly handed over my cash as I said fuck GameStop, and took my shiny new game over to my friends house, who had planned on seeing me around 11pm.

I burst into his house, excitedly pushing his ugly mixed breed dog-thing out of the fucking way, ready to bust a cap in some Majinis or whatever the fuck they were called. My friend seemed equally excited, but then he said to me "Open it up and we'll play it as soon as this episode of The A-Team is over". At this point, I was about as pumped up as is physically possible. I was overflowing with adrenaline. My friend is lucky to be alive. But I let him finish watching the show first, cause I'm a nice guy.


Then at 9PM, we started playing. We finished at 10:15 AM on Friday, March 13th.

So that right there should give you a good indicator of where this mediocre and unsatisfying blog is going.

In all seriousness, the game isn't actually perfect like I'd thought it would be. It's a hell of a lot of fun, but something was lost in between RE4 and RE5. I think it's primarily the WOW factor. It truly is nothing new, and so it wasn't exactly the religious experience I was hoping for. But it is an excellent entry in the series, and hopefully next time Capcom will come up with something better or different. I'd hope for something more akin to RE4 in terms of tone and style, along with no co-op next time.

But as it is, the co-op is actually one of the game's greatest strengths. While it takes away from the fear aspect, it's a hell of a lot of fun racing across a room to save your friend from the clutches of an enemy or working together to take down one of the game's awesome bosses. Speaking of the bosses, they are not nearly as memorable as RE4's were, although a few are certainly exceptional. Quite a few require serious teamwork, and they stand out as the most well done aspect of the co-op experience. Otherwise, much of the experience is pretty much RE4 with a partner who shoots instead of hides. This takes away from the tension quite a bit, but it doesn't ruin the experience in the slightest, unless your only reason for playing RE titles is to be scared, in which case I hear they're porting the original game to the Wii soon. Have fun.



All in all, the game isn't really all it could have and should have been, mainly because of the one real new thing it tries, which is of course Co-Op mode. I think I would have been happier with a more tense single player game, with slightly better pacing to go along with it. But on the other hand, I'm really, truly glad that Capcom tried Co-Op out. We both had an incredible time, and we plan on going through it again and again to unlock everything. I'm already in chapter 5-3 of my second playthrough and loving every moment, this time by myself.

So, yeah, the game was worth the wait. If you're a fan of the series you'll love it, whether it be the great story and campy dialogue and voice acting, or the visceral, tense gunplay.

If anybody needs me I'll be playing Resident Evil 5.

Probably for the next 3 months or so.

I recently mentioned in a blog that my Xbox 360 had broken again. I believe it was the fourth time or something like that, but I can't really be sure. I've kind of lost fucking count. Anyway, at first I decided to just send the fucker in for repairs, and I even had the nerve to convince myself I was somehow lucky it broke now, as opposed to it breaking in May when my warranty finally ends. So I called the fuckers at MS up and sent away for my coffin.

Then this past week I went out to get a 1600 MS pts card for the totally awesome Blehman (bloodylip is also awesome and will get his next week!). I decided to check out my local Circuit City while I was out, just to see what kind of deals they had, if any. Well, what do you know, they actually had some good shit for once. All consoles were 20% off, which meant the sole remaining Xbox 360 Elite they had was marked down to $320 from $400.

So I bought the fucker.

As I was hooking up the fucker, I couldn't help but get excited. But then I realized: What the fuck am I so excited for? The fact that I was hooking up a system I should never have had to buy? And then it hit me: Microsoft owns me.

Let me be honest: I love the Xbox 360 as a console. It's got a nice interface and of course it also has the superior Xbox Live. This isn't a matter of opinion; It's become a fact. I own all 3 consoles and I can definitely say one thing is true: PSN and the Wii's online service are ass. PSN works well enough for games considering it's free, but the download speeds suck my balls. Anyway, besides all these things, it's also the more popular console amongst the "hardcore" crowd, or at least the shooter crowd. All of my friends own a 360 but not a PS3. So if I'd like to play with my friends, I'm stuck with a 360.

Pretty much every factor that goes into using or purchasing a console is ruled by MS. And I fucking hate it.

Really, I'd love to abandon the piece of shit and give my eternal love to the PS3, but unfortunately I hate everything about using the PS3. It's a damn shame. Microsoft has me so hooked with stupid shit like achievements and exclusive demos that they know they can sell me consoles that will break. They don't even apologize for it. When you call them for customer support, they treat you like they're doing you a favor. They treat their customers like we're fucking slaves.

And that's because most of us are. We can get a lot of the same games on both consoles, yet I always buy the 360 version. And they know this. They know they have their dick in my ass and that they can do whatever they want.

I pray to God that Sony wins the next round of console wars. I can't take being a slave to MS any longer. This year had better be good for PS3 owners. I need an excuse to turn off the 360.

Anyway, I just felt like venting. Sorry if this doesn't seem coherent.

Back to playing the Xbox 360.

Blehman and Bloodylip Win!!!!!!!!!

Yay!

The number I was thinking of was 165, and after going through the comments a few times, it appears they were the closest to guessing it. Blehman had the number 164 and Bloodylip had the number 167.

So, this means Blehman wins first prize, which is his choice of a points card worth 20 bucks. That leaves Bloodylip, who wins my copies of Final Fantasy 7 and Final Fantasy 9 for the original Playstation. But, being the nice guy I am, I've decided to allow Bloodylip to trade that prize in for a points card if he so desires. He'll just have to wait longer for it if he chooses one. As for the RPGs, if you'd prefer a card, find a community member who would like the games and I'll send them out. Or just give me your address and I'll send them to you. The choice is yours.

As for myself, I found out they do in fact sell PSN cards today. I wasn't sure because I don't remember hearing anything about it, but today I was forced to look, as I have a use for my PS3 again. You see, my Xbox 360 is broken again. It doesn't have the 3 red lights or anything, but it is eating my discs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My copy of The Last Remnant is wrecked, as is COD5. Oh well. At least it didn't destroy something I like.

But it seems that either way, I won't be playing my 360 for about a month or so. I suppose it's best it happened now, as I would have been real upset had it destroyed my Resident Evil 5 in March, or had it just died then. Unfortunately, I'm sure they'll just replace the disc drive and send it back, which sucks. I'd really like a brand new console considering this will be the 4th time I've had to send the fucker in. Each time they just repair it and send me my original launch unit, as if it won't break again.

Oh well. Life sucks like that.

Godspeed, Destructoid.