Author's note:I originally posted this an hour or two ago, but felt it was so fail that it should come down. I've since decided that I see so many shit cblogs these days that why shouldn't I join in on the fun? Oops, meant to say FAIL.

I love you all.



So last night I spoke about how GTA 4 has suddenly dropped off of my radar. After playing for 3 to 5 hours every single night for the first two weeks, I just stopped playing. I've gotten pretty far through it and all, perhaps halfway, maybe more. And I absolutely love Niko and his "my life is shit, fuck it all" attitude. He's a great guy and doesn't afraid of anyone.

If it's for money.

But I just don't feel the urge to move on. It's lost it's hold on me. I've just been trying to figure out why.

There are many great games that I've sadly (and perhaps ashamedly) never finished. Games like Lost Odyssey, Half Life 2, Gears of War. Fuck, I've never even bothered to finish the campaign in Halo 3. At least that can be explained with one word: Fail. But what of the rest? Are they not all regarded as high quality games, worthy of the time and money of any real gamer? There has got to be a reason this happens.

Maybe I really am just a little too ADHD addled to finish most games. Perhaps I am falling prey to the concept of variety, the idea that a good game has plenty of differentl things to do. GTA has plenty to do, but much of it is arbitrary bullshit. You may get a laugh out of a lot of the stuff you'll see, but in the end it's not necessary. I suppose some people would love that sort of freedom, but I guess I'm not one of them. It's no surprise then that when I think of some of the games I've beaten in the past few years, the list is filled with linear games. Games that tell you where to go almost every step of the way. Perhaps there is a small amount of exploration, but always within the boundaries of a single "level", as it were. Games like the God of War series or Resident Evil 4. Super Mario Galaxy, Uncharted:Drake's Fortune. Games like that.

What these games have in common is that they are all, for the most part, linear. What they also feature is great pacing. Even in a game like Super Mario where you do in fact have some options and choices in what you want to do, the pacing is perfect, the levels expertly designed, and they tell you more or less what you need to do if you want your cute little star at the end of the level. I like that. The others I've listed are all the same way. Of the games I've not beaten, I felt like there was either not enough variety, or the pacing is shit. The one's I've beaten just seem....different. They have an aura about them, an aura of perfection in terms of pacing, editing, all of it. Everything feels purposeful.

They are, in a word, focused. Almost like an impeccably edited film or the perfect pop song. They know what they want to show you, and so they do. GTA 4 is like the Brazil of games to me (I know, bad analogy considering that movie was a failure commercially) . Although it has many amazing features and is awesome in so many ways, it's a mess. There is just too much to consider. Mind you, I don't mean the narrative. For the most part, the story seems well thought out and it's handled well. But, then again, there's a lot of characters, and not every single one of them is really necessary. It's a little excessive, I think. But then again, I'm me and you're you, so perhaps this is just me. Whoa.

Oh, and how many missions do we need that revolve around driving from point A to point B, killing someone, and then getting paid? A lot of unoriginal and uninspired bullshit missions, especially in the early goings. Thank god for those amazing characters and dialogue.

Well, that's it for my little spiel about my gaming habits. Sorry if it wasn't that interesting, but it felt good to type it.



I still think GTA 4 is a great game and all, but it's certainly not the second coming like many people have said. How could it be? After all, when you get to the core of it, it's still the same game we've been playing since GTA 3, just refined. It's not like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time or Super Mario 64 , where a series made the jump to 3D and changed not only it's own way of doing things, but the entire industry as a whole.

GTA has been a 3D sandbox game for years now. It's nothing new. How could it really, truly blow people away? It's certainly not going to change the gaming landscape or anything like that. It's not a totally new and groundbreaking experience like the third entry in the series was, merely a better version of that. A MUCH better version, but still nothing groundbreaking or new. It should be celebrated of course. At least it's developer, Rockstar, actually cares about quality. After all, they could have just put GTA on the box of any game and watched the cash roll in. It shows that they put the time and effort in and did things right.

But it's nothing new.

In the end, it's just Grand Theft Auto.

Once again, this patented Fail Post has been brought to you today by the letters F, A, I, L and the numbers 0,8, 2, and 4. Funding for this trash has been provided by the Government's Unemployment Program.

(Hey, they DO pay the bills)

Back to that slow and miserable death guys.....

Perhaps some Assault Heroes 2 tonight.....

**puts gun in mouth**