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EternalDeathSlayer avatar 9:46 AM on 09.19.2012  (server time)
I am excited and depressed. I've pre-ordered my Wii U.

Excited about finally getting to play Nintendo games in HD. Depressed about paying $350 for a tablet with no mutli-touch and Xbox 360 graphics. Excited to have the opportunity to play Zombie U. Depressed because it's only ONE game in a sea of mediocrity and Nintendo games.

I could go on like this forever. I really could. But out of respect for you guys (and because listing my thoughts in a list is totally fucking boring) I have decided write out my thoughts in a blog.

Nothing I've seen over the past few days has blown my mind. Bayonetta 2 is really awesome, but I've never done more than play the demo for the original. So that's not really doing much for me. I suppose I could say I'm glad to see Nintendo trying to appeal to the core gamer by courting third-party developers and publishers, but I don't see that being the case here. This is just Nintendo publishing a 3rd party game and getting all the rights and money associated with it in the end. They haven't done shit to garner third party support as far as I can tell. Just made partnerships with the usual companies.

On the other hand, I am extremely excited to play New Super Mario Bros U. HD graphics have really allowed the artwork to come to life in a way that clearly was not possible before. The environments alone have me frothing at the mouth and yanking at my penis. Same goes for the ability to play as "Product Packaging Mario" or "Magazine Cover Mario", which is my name for this new HD Mario that finally looks exactly like the Mario on the game boxes, the toys, the other assorted merchandise and junk . This Mario is not jagged and blurry, but smooth and beautiful. I'm creaming myself in anticipation.

Magazine Cover Mario

At the same time, this feels like a missed opportunity to really show off what Mario can really look like. When he's in three dimensions. In a 3D platforming game. My guess is that Nintendo simply doesn't have the game ready and up to their standards. There's also the fact that 2D Mario games sell a hell of a lot better than 3D Mario games. Or they're just being Nintendo. Probably thinking that coverage of games that are a year or more off would cannibalize coverage of their launch titles and all that jazz. They're probably right. I wasn't expecting anything really new today so I probably should be happy with stuff like Bayonetta 2, but I still feel like Nintendo should have shown us something more.

On the other end of the spectrum, I am intrigued by the possibilities for "asynchronous gameplay". I always like the idea of multiplayer games that feature people doing completely different things, but I love the idea of having someone use a completely different input method to perform their particular task. You see this executed in the Nintendo Land games though not really anywhere else that I've noticed. I'd like to see these concepts explored further and in more developed scenarios (meaning I like pretty things). I just want to do something fucking new! Motion control was such a disappointment in the end for me. It was mostly just a gimmick with the same old problems and a whole host of potential new ones. It had and still has potential but it's mostly wasted on garbage fucking mini-game collections. The best Wii games were old Nintendo franchises with a few new tricks (Super Mario Galaxy, Skyward Sword). Any attempt at going completely motion control in a "mature" (again, whatever that means) game usually failed miserably. So I like the idea of combining both motion control concepts with the touchscreen and buttons of the controller. Certainly the console is versatile when it comes to different styles of play. That's something I value a lot.

The most disappointing aspect of all, and the last thing I'll be sad about for today, is the price. I was really hoping for $250 with Nintendo Land packed in. Clearly that's not happening anytime soon unless Nintendo totally fucks this up and needs to cut the price. But after seeing what's offered at what price, I still feel like I'm paying a bit too much. The $350 model is clearly the better package considering it comes with a game Nintendo is raping people for and extra memory and cradles and shit. But it still seems a bit steep for console that seems about equal (and sometimes even less than equal) with an Xbox 360 or a PS3 in terms of graphical power. I'm curious as to how good the screen is on the GamePad in terms of resolution and brightness. Knowing that it's not mutli-touch is already disappointing but it's not the end of the world. What else is in this "tablet" that they're charging me this much money? Is the screen HD? It would seem pointless to finally have HD graphics and then not use them on the second screen. Is there a processor? Does it all matter?

Probably not. But that's why I have you people. I can talk about this nonsense with you and you might take me seriously for a minute. My wife would not. My father would not. My son might but he would get bored.

Anyway, that's enough for today. Been nice talking with you.

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