Disclaimer: This post is kind of dumb. Don't say I didn't tell you so.

I really don't know what the hell is going on with me. The title of this blog is the absolute truth. I feel dumber all the damn time. It's kind of scary, although it's a slow enough process that I barely notice it most of the time. Although, that could just be because I'm becoming dumber. I'm not sure.

Anyway, I've noticed some stuff recently. Specifically that I am a totally different person now compared to when I joined Destructoid. In fact, I'm a completely different person from when I was a teenager. And I don't mean in the usual ways people change when as they become an adult and all that shit. I think it's more rooted in how hectic and fucking insane my day to day life is as a parent, and the fact that my parents seem dumb but really aren't makes me think I'm beginning to turn into them. I'm not dumb, but I sure as hell probably appear dumb to a lot of smart people. That's my parents in a nut-shell, at least in my view. Our minds just don't work as quickly as they used to. At least, it seems that way. Maybe it's hereditary or some shit.



Now, let's tie this into games so you all can stop typing your "Go the hell to livejournal or myspace" comments. I know I'd be typing that shit by now. Anyway, I realized something the other day. I used to be a big JRPG fan when I was a teen. I could sink 100 hours into the latest Square Enix masterpiece and love every minute of it. In fact, I even shunned a lot of shooters and action games back then for whatever stupid reasons. Probably just to be a bit different. Who knows?

But now? I don't even touch 99% of JRPGs. I don't consider them anymore when it comes to buying games. This is surely at least in part because of the overall staleness of the genre, but it's also because they're so fucking long and complicated. That type of stuff just doesn't hold my interest long enough anymore.

What makes this even more confusing is that I've tried recent JRPGs and enjoyed the hell out of them. For some reason I seemingly lose interest out of nowhere. I move on quickly to something else, usually something that allows me to instantly and quickly murder or hurt people or creatures of some kind. It's because of my limited time to play that I can no longer appreciate the slow burn of a good JRPG.

It's not just JRPGs. I currently have a copy of Brutal Legend in my possession but I have yet to play it. Whenever I think of the Stage Battles and other stuff I decide against playing it, as if it's not worth the effort to learn the game. Some of you may say that it is in fact not really worth the effort, but I haven't even tried it! It's stuff like this that I hate. I can identify that there is something different, but I'm not quite sure why. I know I should just play the fucking game, but I still can't bring myself to turn it on.



Instead I can only appreciate stuff like shooters and action games that provide instant gratification. These games also tend to have simpler and in my opinion crappier plots than other genres, but that's OK by me for some reason. I don't even mind bad stories and in fact sometimes I completely skip cut-scenes and plot-related bullshit just to get to the action.

Besides this, I find myself constantly at a loss for words. Lately I struggle to even write a decent comment after reading a blog on Destructoid. I want to say something, but nothing is clicking up there. I just say "fuck it" and move on, like it's a waste of time or something. It's not worth the 30 seconds of thinking necessary to figure out what I'd like to say. Instead I just say either "Good blog dude" or nothing at all.

I have no explanation and don't feel like thinking of a real one beyond what I've said, so I'll skip the expected "wrap-up" paragraph where I'm supposed to say shit like "Maybe it's just the stress in my life" or something like that. Fuck that, it's far too much work. So that's it, that's all you get from me. Sorry, but I'm too busy (and dumb) to come up with something better. My kids need to go to bed.

Also, I find it funny that I'm finally almost done with Fallout 3. I started playing it a year ago. Strange I actually stuck with that game all this time. At least that was a smart decision, huh?

Also, also, I know many of you are itching to drop a quick "You're becoming dumber? You already were a dumb-ass" comment. It's OK, I opened myself up to that with my title alone. I love you guys.

P.S. This isn't some retarded joke, it's just me rambling like an asshole. But it's somewhat serious. Yeah.

Yes, I realize that the game won't be released for another 3 weeks or so, but I couldn't resist the sudden urge to talk about this sure to be amazing game. See, last night I went on a bit of a rant about the game in my blog and so I've now been thinking about the game that much more. I'm salivating over every preview, viewing every photo, and fapping to every video I can find as I write this. Words really can't convey my need for this game to be released. I have never been more ready for something. This is more exciting than RE5, and this time the game may actually live up to expectations for once.

So I'm going to attempt to do a series of short blogs over the next few weeks detailing the exact reasons you will need to buy this game. Yes, I realize that I have not played the actual game. I did participate in the multiplayer beta, but was all. Still, I know how the game functions, I know what the last game was like, and I know what the developer, Naughty Dog, is like. So I feel confident that the game will be worth your time and money come October 13th, and I'll try to explain why.

As a disclaimer, this may not ever actually be finished. I have no idea how much free time I will have to blog over the next few weeks, so if I don't finish don't think it's because I ran out of reasons the game will be great. Not going to happen. Instead, it will be because my wife is a maniac who can't keep herself away from World of Warcraft, or because I will be busy finally beating Mass Effect and Fallout 3. More than likely it will be the former.



Anyway, onto the reasons. Reasons are good. And they aren't in order of importance. This is just the first one.
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Number 1:The Visuals

Yes, the visuals. Perhaps some would say this is a shallow reason for playing a video game, but I'd imagine most of you can at least admit that you like your games to be aesthetically pleasing, right? You don't want dull and uninspired visuals. And with Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, you won't get dull and uninspired. You'll get appealing and eye-pleasing visuals. You'll get a rich and varied palette of colors sprinkled amongst a host of different environments. You'll get to see Nathan Drakes ass for like 12 hours straight. Really what I'm trying to say is this: You'll get bright and happy colors, something you don't seem to get too often these days. There are lush jungle settings, snowy mountains, urban areas filled with decaying buildings, and probably more. I can only go on what I've seen.

Beyond that, the game is obviously extremely impressive from a technical standpoint, not just an aesthetic one. The texture work appears to be some of the best I've ever seen on a console, and the animations are top notch, just like in the original game. It's all highly realistic looking stuff, especially the environments. The fire and explosions all look great, as does the snow and the water. It's fucking awesome and really makes me feel, as most of the PS3s exclusives do, like my $600 was money well spent.



I also love the attention to detail. In the first game, when you went in the water, your clothes actually looked like you went in the water, and not just for 10 seconds after you get out. Or how your clothes appeared dirtier as the game went on. This is nothing groundbreaking, but it's stuff like this that so many games seem to forget about. I expect this to continue in the new game, and perhaps even improve on the original. I'm not sure how they could do that, but I get the feeling they'll figure it out.

So in closing, if you do choose to heed my advice and buy the game, you can do so knowing that you will experience a visual masterpiece of the highest order. This is true because I say it is. Also, look at the pictures if you think I'm wrong.

I'll give you another reason why you should buy Uncharted 2: Among Thieves in a few days.
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Well, that's enough bullshitting for one day. I'm only doing this because I am a Uncharted fanboy. If I was gay I would probably lust after Nathan Drake. He is one of my favorite characters in all of gaming, and I've only played one game with him in it. That game just so happens to be one of my favorites of this generation. So while I'm sure there will be a few snide comments about me being payed by Sony or something of that sort, I really do not fucking care. I own all 3 consoles, I do not love one over the other. I am only here to spread the good word of Nathan Drake.

He's like my fucking hero, after all.

Yeah, life sucks. What the fuck does a guy have to do to play some video games? I'm not really as upset as I seem seeing as how my daughter has a fever and all, but still. I have barely gotten to play anything in days. At least 2 of them, maybe 3. I can't even remember. But let's not go there. No, we'll talk about that another time, perhaps when my wife and children drive me completely bat-shit insane one day.

Speaking of bats, let's skip the family counseling and talk some Batman: Arkham Asylum for a few minutes. That was a great lead in if I do say so myself. Fuck you if you disagree. Anyway, now that I ruined the awesome lead in, let's get back to the game. So yeah, Batman finally has a great game. I came away very impressed with it, so much so that I actually decided to go after all 1000 achievement points, something I honestly only bother to get when it's extremely fucking easy. My only completed games are Sonics Genesis Collection and King Kong if you need some reference on how important finishing a game completely is to me. For some reason, probably a combination of my love for Batman and the overall quality of the game, I feel compelled to finish this game completely. I have only to finish the game on Hard and get one easy achievement for 10 points and I will have completed my task. Sure, it's not the most difficult game to 100% complete, but it's still somewhat of an accomplishment for such a lazy piece of shit like myself.



Anyway, beyond that there's nothing I can say about the game that hasn't already been said a million fucking times already, so I'll kind of leave that be for now. I would like to mention that my son has taken a huge liking to Batman lately, mostly due to seeing him in the game and asking me questions, which lead to me playing some Batman cartoons for him. We've watched everything, from Batman: TAS to The Batman and even the new Superman/Batman team-up movie that comes out next week. My son likes pretty much everything except Batman Beyond. He seems kind of scared of Batman in that one, which I think is certainly possible for a 4 year old. He does look a bit nastier in it. Like he'll bite your fucking finger off or some shit.

Yeah. Enough about Batman I suppose.



I'll be getting Halo 3: ODST in the mail any day now from GameFly, and I'm kind of excited. It seems to be very different from the Halo 3 campaign, which is a plus for me. I usually play Halo for the multiplayer, but since this is different I feel like there's a chance I may really like it. The campaign in Halo 3 just bored the shit out of me whenever I tried to play with my wife. So I'm hoping for the best. Either way I still feel the title won't warrant a purchase, at least not for me personally. I'm sure Firefight will be great, but with no real new multiplayer the game just doesn't seem like I'll get enough out of it. I do of course always hope I'll be proven wrong. We'll see.

Besides Halo, there's Brutal Legend and of course my personal most anticipated game, Uncharted 2. As many of you may and should know if you've read my blog but probably don't because nobody really remembers a damn thing I say, the original Uncharted is one of my favorite games of this generation. Sure, it's not particularly innovative but it makes up for that with it's polish and charm, not to mention the great gameplay that Naughty Dog has always been known for. It really feels like you're playing a Hollywood action movie, and a good one to boot. I never really got that feeling from another shooting game. Usually the satisfaction comes from the killing, not everything else. I never understood why so many people were turned off by the game before it was released. I remember Dtoids own Niero for one always calling it Dude Raider and I also remember when he wrote a blog saying how much he ended up liking it.



What the fuck did you people expect? Seriously? Did you not play Jak and Daxter or the old Crash Bandicoot titles? Hell, Crash Bandicoots kart racing game was amazing! I'm sure they've made a bad game at some point, but not that I know of. But anyway, you all know how good they are now, or at least most of you. Some people just don't dig the games, and that's OK. People are different.

I just hope to God my wife doesn't follow through on this idea of hers that involves giving the game to me for Christmas so she'll know for sure she got me one great gift. I keep telling her that I'd rather buy it myself, but she keeps insisting. I'm going to try to convince her not do this and instead get me Brutal Legend, but to be honest I'm probably fucked.

That's family life for you.

Sorry for the somewhat disjointed and sloppy writing, but I'm just kind of rambling here. Besides, the batman lead in thing was great so I fucking win. Anyway, goodnight Dtoid, have a good one and all that jazz. I love you all, even those of you who dislike the batman lead-in line. Fo' realz yo.

Hello there Destructoid, how are you doing today? That's nice to hear. Me? Oh, I'm doing OK. Yesterday I had some child-and-woman-free time for the first time in a while. Of course, I had already beaten Ghostbusters and I was pretty tired, so first I played some Sonic Unleashed, which I bought for $20 last week. It was my first time playing it, and it definitely met my expectations. That game sucks. Here I was enjoying "alone time" and I walk into this abomination. Something had to be done.

I was already tired and disappointed, so like an asshole I decided to go outside and get a little high, foolishly hoping it would improve my opinion and enjoyment of the game. I say foolishly because after all these years you think I'd have just accepted that Sonic chokes giant donkey dick and that there is no hope in changing that.

I returned to the couch and discovered the error of my ways. The game still sucked. Hard.

Fuck Sonic.

Anyway, I decided to hit that big fat Xbox Guide button and then continued to press the Y button, which magically transported me to the Dashboard, where I was met with an image of my disgusting avatar. Spooky shit. I quickly found my Game Library tab, and promptly navigated my way to one of my new favorites: The Secret of Monkey Island:Special Edition.



I was saved.

Now, I say new favorite because I this is the first time I've ever played this game. I believe I have encountered it before when I was young at a family member's house, but I never played it. Just saw a bit of it. I don't remember that shit vividly anyway, so it's irrelevant. I must say, for such an old game it's surprisingly refreshing, if that makes any sense. It feels like a whole new experience for me. Of course, I've never really played point and click games before besides Zack and Wiki and that game isn't really the same as this one.

No, Monkey Island relies more on it's amazing cast of characters and the equally amazing dialogue that those characters deliver. The "puzzles" are there, but it's more about the overall experience, at least for me. I absolutely loved a recent sequence where I had to learn a bunch of pirate insults to train for "insult swordfighting". As tedious as this task got near the end, I was constantly smiling and chuckling, something an angry bastard like myself doesn't normally do.

As for the visuals and audio, well, I honestly prefer the new look and of course the spoken dialogue, but then again I've only ever played it like this. Nostalgia is having no effect, obviously. I think the game looks good. It's slightly generic I suppose, but still appealing. As I said, I also love the spoken dialogue. The actors are of a higher quality than most "AAA" retail released games feature. Again, I'm constantly laughing while I play.

I still haven't finished the game and in fact have a long way to go, but I'm planning on playing it again tonight, hopefully. Well, that's all the time I have for you today Destructoid. I'm off to go play with my kids and do all that great family stuff while my wife probably plays WoW.

Have a good one guys.

Hello there Destructoid. Lovely day here in New Jersey. It's raining outside, the perfect excuse for any gamer to shun their social life and just play games all day. Any gamer except the ones with kids, that is. No, no quiet time for me.

OK, that's a lie. The kids fell asleep over an hour ago, a strange and rare event in the middle of the day. Unfortunately, I missed most of this due to having to leave the house and go get myself a new windshield wiper blade for my driver's side. You see, people suck. Sometimes when you go outside, you see this firsthand. Example: Yesterday I went to the bank to get some cash from the free ATM, as opposed to the ATM at the corner store, which charges a total of $3 for a transaction. While inside the bank, some dickhead decided to put some sort of flier under my windshield wiper, except unlike most people who do this for a living, he also decided to break the fucking thing.

So instead of saving $3 by using my bank's ATM, I spent $15 on a new wiper. I fucking lose 12 DOLLARS and I lose the chance to go back and get some achievements from Ghostbusters that I missed the first time through.

Anyway, now that I've mentioned it, let's move on to Ghostbusters:The Video Game.



By now you've probably heard more than enough about this game, whether through the media or word of mouth from your pals. But being late to the party and borderline irrelevant has never stopped me before and it will not stop me now. Failure is my middle name.

So finally, the game: It's good. It's a solid rental and possibly a purchase depending on how big a Ghostbusters fan you happen to be. If you do happen to be a big fan, then you'll likely love the game for it's striking authenticity and it's respectful and thoughtful use of the film's license. It helps that seemingly all of the stars of the films are played by their original actors. Sure, sometimes the digital versions of each character looks a bit creepy, but overall the look and feel of the films is present.

Adding to this is the array of different items you'll use in your adventure and of course how you use those items. I wasn't a hardcore fan of these films, but I did have toy proton packs and shit as a kid and getting to use them in a good looking game like this felt pretty fucking bad-ass. Unfortunately, the feeling doesn't last forever. The game falls back on basic shooter mechanics and rightly so, because trapping a ghost is only actually fun the first 20 or so times. After a while it started to feel kind of stale. Those shooting mechanics I mentioned aren't the greatest either, but they work well enough. Also, slime tethering shit is kind of fun.



So I enjoyed the game. All 5 and a half hours of it. See, that's my main gripe here. For $60 that's just not enough. I realize there is multiplayer and I haven't played it, but the career mode is still way too short. I could have accepted 10 hours, although when I consider everything, perhaps the length is actually a positive. Tack another 5 hours onto this game and I might have gotten really bored with it, unless of course the developers had added more abilities and tools with enemies and situations to match. But they wouldn't have fucking done that, otherwise it would have already fucking happened, right?

Still, a great rental for sure. Give it a shot if you rent, or wait until it's dropped in price if you'd like to buy it. Whatever.

Well, my kids are starting to wake up, which is good, because otherwise they'll be up all fucking night, and that means no Secret of Monkey Island for me, which means I'll be fucking pissed off. It's my first time with the game and so far it's fucking great. I just finished getting all the pirate insults, which while slightly tedious was also extremely fun and rewarding. If you've never played this game before, download that fucker right now. It's a good deal for 10 bucks.

See you around, Destructoid.

So it's like 9 AM here in lovable old New Jersey, and I've been struggling to get my children to eat their breakfast, as has been the tradition since we returned from our vacation in Walt Disney World a week ago. It's been a difficult experience, readjusting to this post-Disney life. It's hard not eating Mickey Mouse pancakes with the man himself for $35.99 plus tax every fucking day.

The lesson as always is do not have children.

Anyway, what's up Destructoid? Hopefully if you're a male, your cock isn't, cause that would be strange. I'm an ugly dude. As you might expect, my gaming has been down due to the previously mentioned vacation, but I did just recently receive a few games from reliable old GameFly. I love GameFly for it's ability to allow me to rent a lot of games that are worth playing but not worth buying. Games with great gameplay but extremely short length or severe lack of content.



Games like X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Remember, I just got back from vacation. I only received this game on Thursday and yet I had beaten it by Saturday, which is a short amount of time for me. I only play an hour a night on average nowadays, so this game is obviously not worth the $60 it would have cost to buy it. This is fine and even somewhat acceptable, considering the title is a licensed movie game. Besides this, the core game is extremely fun and satisfying. Perhaps a bit too fond of other games like God of War, but fun nonetheless.

I feel bad because I'm not technically supporting the title, but oh well. Perhaps next time the developer and publisher will spend more time crafting a game of value and substance, whatever the fuck that actually means. Good luck to them. If they hit the mark, I'll surely notice and then perhaps next time I'll buy their game. But for now I will mostly rent games like this. I've been burned too many times now by games like this, games you shell out $60 for only to be finished playing in a few days time.

Fuck that shit.

So how bout you Dtoid? Any of you feel the same way as I do about rentals? Some hardcore industry advocates try and say renting is just as bad as stealing, but I certainly don't feel that way. If I really and truly love a game I rent, I'll buy it. Of course people say that all the time, but do they really do it?

True Story: I once split the cost of a rental of Star Wars Battlefront with a friend when it was a new game, and I did in fact buy that game the next week due to that rental.

Oh snap.

PS: As for the word "games" in the title, ya know, the plural version of game, I also rented Ghostbusters but I haven't gotten around to playing it yet. I would have liked to talk about that game as well but who knows when I'll be able to blog again? 20 minutes of computer time is tough to come by when you live with my wife.

Fuck that bitch.