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9:33 PM on 03.23.2008  

More Wonderful Ads!

You guys know how much I looooooooove interesting ads, so of course I couldn't resist posting this:



To be honest, I really preferred the ads for dead hookers.

At least this time I got around to copying the link:

http://rm.yieldmanager.com/click,tQcAANeZAAAf3QoAosADAAAAAAAAAAwAAgABFwIABgOPs
wAADQ4AABqoBQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIoT50cAAAAA,,http%3A%2F%2Fwww.
destructoid.com%2Felephant%2Ftemplates%2F728x90.phtml%3Fpage_id%3Dhomepage,

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4:16 PM on 02.14.2008  

It's my Birthday!

That's right bitches, I'm a Valentine baby! It's actually pretty cool with all the free candy and stuff. Presents are awesome. I accept money, candy, and videogames.
With receipts in case I don't like it..



To celebrate, I present one of the top Google image results for "birfday."



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4:49 PM on 01.31.2008  

I love Porn as much as you guys, but...

This is getting a bit ridiculous.






Porn is wonderful, but it really doesn't go well with Destructoid. And it seems a bit niche. Dead hookers and Sexy chicas are a market that really does not appeal to me. I take it that no one else has noticed this?


EDIT:

I've also discovered this little gem.



If it comes up again I'm going to click on it to see where it leads. Any bets? And also I'll try to find the URL to get them blocked.

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7:39 PM on 01.28.2008  

My Godlike New Computer

Every now and then I like to see the most expensive computer it would be possible to purchase anywhere. It's been a while since the last time I tried, but now I present to you:




The Blackbird, a machine I can only compare to the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey.


I see a resemblance.

This beast starts at around $2399, but I am forced to get the most expensive version possible.








Behold! Ten thousand seven hundred two dollars and ninety two cents worth of computer parts, which forms the ultimate computing behemoth known to mankind!




P.S.
If any of you actually buys this for me I will give you the most sincere hug ever given in all of eternity.

P.P.S.
Why the fuck did Niero do away with "Last Comment: You suck. by God"? "Offline, brb" just isn't the same.

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8:33 PM on 01.23.2008  

New Best Gaming Webcomic Evaaaaaaaaar!

Yes I know this is kind of a repost but fuck you. If you bitch I will eat your family.





The side of the story we've never seen. From my personal favorite webcomic ever, Overcompensating. Please read it.

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8:13 PM on 01.23.2008  

Super Awesome Team Fortress 2 Update News

Valve are (is?) overachievers! Which is good for us. According to a source which shall not be named, the mega huge TF2 update coming soon is even mega-er and huge-er Previously we thought the update simply was some new achievements, an update to the medic, and two new maps. But now we know...
















*scroll down*























*more*















*random webcomic intermission*











Team Fortress 2 gets unlockable weapons! In the spirit of awesomeness, every class will gain access to new weapons and equipment. According to El article, one example of new stuff is:

"The first Medic unlock, for example, is called the Overhealer. Instead of temporarily buffing people's health to 50% above their normal maximum, it permanently boosts them to double their standard health. The downside is that it'll be dramatically worse at building Ubercharge - in fact, Valve are toying with not letting it Uber at all. "

If you want more info, just click on the damn link already.


And I forgot to mention, new game type.

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12:32 PM on 01.16.2008  

Team Fortress 2 in Legos and Real Life

It seems that while I was gone people have had the opportunity to make even more awesomer Team Fortress 2 stuff.

Behold! The legos of awesomeness!


Here be pictures
Startlingly accurate in their portrayal, I must say.


Next, someone with too much time on their hands created an actual Sentry Turret that is also a superpowerful gaming rig.


I would do pretty much anything for that.


Then we have a Weighted Companion Cube made out of balloons:


WCC


Proof that the cake is not a lie:






Many thanks to RockPaperShotgun for finding all this awesome stuff.

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10:19 AM on 01.04.2008  

Team Fortress 2 - New Medic Achievements

Someone on the internets has been kind enough to find the list of new achievements, which are all for the medic class. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess they've done this because medic is the least played class. Of course, it's my most played class so I'm gonna benefit a lot from this. At least if Valve will tell me how to fix my fucking Steam already.

Here it is:


Along with a list off what they're supposed to be:


* Assist Capturer- Helping while capturing
* Top Score Board - Leading the Score Board at the end of the game
* Syringe Scoot - Killing a Scout with the Syringe Gun
* Switch to Medic - Switching from another class to the Medic
* Simul Charge - (?)
* Setup Charge - Charging the Uber during Setup-Time
* Save Teammate - (?)
* Falling Teammate - Healing a falling teammate and securing him from death
* Rapide Charge - (?)
* Kill While Charged - Killing an enemy while Uber's ready
* Kill Healed Spy - Kill an enemy Spy, who just stole Heal from your team
* Invite Join Charge - (?)
* Heal Under Fire - Healing while burning
* Heal Large - Healing for a long time (how long?)
* Heal Huge - Heal for an even longer time (?)
* Heal Grind - Being an MegaUberSuper-Medic (when?)
* Heal Ingé - Healing an Engineer
* Heal Callers - Healing teammates, who called for a Medic
* Heal Achiever - (?)
* Freeze Cam Ragdoll - (?)
* Extinguish Teammate - (how to extinguish?)
* Medic Counter Charge - (?)
* Charge Juggle - Giving Uber to different teammates
* Charge Friends - Ubering a Friend
* Charge Blocker - (?)
* Bonesaw Spy Caller - Killing an enemy Spy with the Bonesaw
* Bonesaw Nomisses - Killing an enemy with the Bonesaw without missing the target
* Bonesaw Medic - Killing some enemies with the Bonesaw (how many?)
* Assist vs Nemeses - Getting a Assist-Kill againsta Nemesis
* Assist Soldier - Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Soldier
* Assist Scout - Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Scout
* Assist Pyro - Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Pyro
* Assist Medic - Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Medic
* Assist Heavy Long - Assisting a Heavy for some time (how long?)
* Assist Heavy- Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Heavy
* Assist Demoman - Getting a Assist-Kill while assisting a Demoman



MegaUberSuperThanks to teamfortress2.de

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4:41 PM on 12.14.2007  

Kingdom Of Loathing- Official Destructoid Clan

Our Steam Community seems to have been a success, so with great pride, joy, and happiness I announce to you the (semi)Official KINGDOM OF LOATHING OFFICIAL DESTRUCTOID CLAN! It's just created, so so far there's only me. I'd appreciate it if all Kingdom of Loathing-ite Dtoiders would join the clan. I'd appreciate it even more if Dtoiders started the game, and then joined the clan. We have potential, and one day we shall rise above all others!



We will be holding votes for contents of the Rumpus Room, and member rights and all that. Anyone who joins gets to vote, and YOU can influence the future of our mighty clan.

So far the ranks are, in order:
Fleshling
Human
Cyborg
Robot
Clan Leader - Me
The Giant Robot - Reserved for Niero, should he decide to join.

This has potential, so give it your best shot.

Sign up now!

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3:00 PM on 12.13.2007  

Kingdom of Loathing: Portal Reference

Those of you who play Kingdom of Loathing should know that Crimbo season has started, with the ability to make new toys of awesomeness. Those of you who don't play Kingdom of Loathing, you have no excuse, go kill yourselves. Anyways, one of the new toys available to build is the awesome Bulky Buddy Box™. References to Portal in video games are now official.







And it's abilities? Well, let's just say it's quite similar to a pet rock.


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11:00 AM on 12.08.2007  

New Team Fortress 2 Stats

Valve has just come out with another interesting list of statistics, this time related to Team Fortress 2. It's quite fascinating, though no one will be surprised that Scout is the most played class and gets the most captures, sniper gets the most points, heavy gets the most kills, medic gets the most assists, and engineer stays alive the longest. It's sad that medic gets played less than a third as much as the more popular classes. Another interesting tidbit: The rocket launcher gets a way higher percentage of total damage dealt than anything else.







Most interesting by far are the death maps, which show the most common areas for kills using a heat map. They're generally clustered around capture points, except for 2fort.



Click for more statisticy goodness.

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9:16 PM on 12.06.2007  

You know what disgusts me?

Yesterday, a guy by the name of Robert Hawkins decided to "go out in style", and went to a mall in Omaha, Nebraska where he killed eight people, wounded five, and suicided. At the time I'm writing this, that was about 33 hours ago. And already, there are photoshops mocking what he did and claiming he totally pwned those people. That's just disgusting.



Humongous assholes

Wikipedia Article, closed from editing due to "vandalism."

I don't even wanna look at the 4chan boards.

Also, I hope to God, Jesus, the Buddha, and Ron Workman that this had nothing to do with video games.

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