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Team Fortress 2: Code of Honuor
Eschatos | 10:01 PM on 11.02.2007 14 comments


It's Friday Night Fights. Me and the homies of Destructoid are playing some Team Fortress 2. Naturally, I'm owning the newbs, especially Yashoki. But while ownage may be fun, it does get old after a while. So I thought to myself, Hmm, Eschatos, what would be a way to level the playing field for these mere humans, so that my godlike skill does not instantly defeat them every time. And being such a natural genius, my mind answered me. It said "You should take the path of honor, and go Melee only." I announced my intention to the trembling masses, and was greeted with adulation and praise. Except for one guy, forgot who, who reminded me of the correct spelling of Honuor. Thank you whoever. My decision was quite fortuitous, as we had just embarked upon a map change... to Granary. As those of you knowledgeable about the game may know, Granary is a pretty open map. And as you also may know, the Code of Honuor pronounces that it is ungentlemanly to play Spy or Scout when going melee only. So naturally, to give others a chance, I chose Sniper. Wielding my machete, with trepidation and pride, I embarked upon my quest, whether for good, or for evil.







Turns out, my strategy was not as sucessfull as I had planned. The red team was composed of ungentlemanly douchebags who, when I challenge them to Honuorable combat, simply start shooting at me. The only one even close to obeying the sacred laws of Honuor was Luca_Shoal. But he was a spy. To gain more pwnage, and reclaim my lost lofty position, I switched to demoman, ready to combat with a bottle of whiskey instead of a plastic machete. In short, my combat was Honuorable, and theirs was not, yet I still prevailed, for three blood-soaked kills of whiskey-ey death. Finishing the round with three kills, and eight deaths, I exclaimed these words that shall live on through the annals of history:

"Melee only FUCKING SUCKS."






Ladies, Gentleman, and Others, this has been a clog from Eschatos. If you didn't like it, please direct all complaints here:



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14 comments | showing # 1 to 14

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bahss's Destructoid Blog
Damnit! What's the pass into the server?
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
ITS DTOID BITCH!
Clockwork's Destructoid Blog
That's a hellofa punch in the balls.
bahss's Destructoid Blog
Well, if anyone can get me ingame, I'd appreciate it.
Steam - brecksher
youkilledmyguy's Destructoid Blog
Lemme on there.
Cutie Honey's Destructoid Blog
You should have been there later on for the Heavy only, Melee only bridge fight!
lucashoal's Destructoid Blog
That was pretty epic Cutie, I'll give ya that.

As for your honor thing Esch.... I didn't think about it that bein a spy would be bad and all :<. But ahh well.
Wedge's Destructoid Blog
Yeah we busted it out River City Random style, it was a street brawl bitches.
Deus's Destructoid Blog
haha I use the machete way too much when I play sniper. It works sometimes though. Once I jumped into the middle of 3 guys (a medic, a soldier and a demoman) and killed them all with my trusty machete. I never really expected it to work, but ever since I've fallen in love with insane (and honuorable) machete charges.
ConsFEARacy's Destructoid Blog
Nice! Too bad I couldn't get on last night...

I would have accepted your melee challenge though! Except, I would have chosen the Soldier's shovel!!!

Also, this.
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
Well Luca, spies are kinda designed to be melee only. Especially with the disguising and invisibility. Though I suppose if you didn't use those at all, you could be Honuorable.
lucashoal's Destructoid Blog
And I used neither of those at the time Esch, thus I could be honorable
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
There is a difference between honor and Honuor. You would do well to learn it.
lucashoal's Destructoid Blog
Well...BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW is all I have to say to you then good sir *monocle*


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 about me

Games I'm playing now:

Earthbound
Gears of War
Kingdom of Loathing
Dwarf Fortress
Titan Quest
Team Fortress 2
Morrowind
Arcanum
GTA: Vice City

Favorite Video Game Characters:

Boyd (Psychonauts)
Sheogorath (Oblivion: The Shivering Isles)
Sander Cohen (Bioshock)




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