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2:01 AM on 07.27.2010  

Herp de durp

Derp?

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5:50 PM on 02.14.2009  

It's my birthday!

It's been a while. About a year I'd say. Now it's been almost two years since I joined Dtoid. So much awesome shit has happened since then. I've made tons of cool friends and almost met Mr. Destructoid.(damn you work) Thanks to all you terrible people at Destructoid for making it an awesome one. Here's to another year of awesome vidjagaming.


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11:06 PM on 12.20.2008  

Mercenaries 2 Lulz

Mercenaries 2 had more than its share of problems, but at least they know how to poke fun at themselves.


Bigger

For some context this mission appears fairly early on as part of the UP missions. You have to escort a UP executive as he destroys a bunch of documents. If you kill him yourself he says this line.

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12:40 PM on 07.11.2008  

A cast of thousands: Gordon Freeman

This might seem a little bit unorthodox. Some would say "How is Gordon Freeman an awesome character? He doesn't even talk!" To this I will simply reply with a "Fuck you and get out of my house".


Our lord and saviour

Gordon Freeman is me. He shares my joy of smashing crates, my hatred of headcrabs, and my desire to show Alyx my crowbar. I don't mean to say that Half Life 2 is my biography. What I do mean is that Gordon is a blank slate. There is a reason Gordon doesn't talk, and it's not because Valve is too cheap to hire a good voice actor. Every time I play Half Life I superimpose myself onto Gordon. He may not say a word, but I do.


Evidence he does exist

Because of Gordon Freeman, Half Life 2 is the most immersive game I have ever played. I still remember the first time I played through it. I rushed home from school with my new copy and played until 2 am. I'm surprised I didn't bring a crowbar to school the next day.

Gordon Freeman may not have the best personality. Hell, he doesn't have any personality, but he's mine. And that's what matters.


Person pictured may or may not be me.

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5:27 PM on 05.05.2008  

G-Man can Dance!

A lovely little video showing the dangers of mixing motion-capture technology and Half Life.

I advise you to not try this in game.




Spotted on kotaku

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8:15 PM on 04.05.2008  

Not my Turning Point gaming rig

Behold! The machine of machines! My computer! It's a nice gaming machine, but it's starting to fall behind the curve. A brand new machine would make me very happy. I might even donate the old one to someone else who needs a good gaming platform.



View the guitar of awesomeness, the big daddy with the bigger sword, and the ultimate Dtoid wallpaper.



A closeup, for those inclined. Wires, phone, CDs.

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9:33 PM on 03.23.2008  

More Wonderful Ads!

You guys know how much I looooooooove interesting ads, so of course I couldn't resist posting this:



To be honest, I really preferred the ads for dead hookers.

At least this time I got around to copying the link:

http://rm.yieldmanager.com/click,tQcAANeZAAAf3QoAosADAAAAAAAAAAwAAgABFwIABgOPs
wAADQ4AABqoBQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIoT50cAAAAA,,http%3A%2F%2Fwww.
destructoid.com%2Felephant%2Ftemplates%2F728x90.phtml%3Fpage_id%3Dhomepage,

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4:16 PM on 02.14.2008  

It's my Birthday!

That's right bitches, I'm a Valentine baby! It's actually pretty cool with all the free candy and stuff. Presents are awesome. I accept money, candy, and videogames.
With receipts in case I don't like it..



To celebrate, I present one of the top Google image results for "birfday."



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4:49 PM on 01.31.2008  

I love Porn as much as you guys, but...

This is getting a bit ridiculous.






Porn is wonderful, but it really doesn't go well with Destructoid. And it seems a bit niche. Dead hookers and Sexy chicas are a market that really does not appeal to me. I take it that no one else has noticed this?


EDIT:

I've also discovered this little gem.



If it comes up again I'm going to click on it to see where it leads. Any bets? And also I'll try to find the URL to get them blocked.

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7:39 PM on 01.28.2008  

My Godlike New Computer

Every now and then I like to see the most expensive computer it would be possible to purchase anywhere. It's been a while since the last time I tried, but now I present to you:




The Blackbird, a machine I can only compare to the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey.


I see a resemblance.

This beast starts at around $2399, but I am forced to get the most expensive version possible.








Behold! Ten thousand seven hundred two dollars and ninety two cents worth of computer parts, which forms the ultimate computing behemoth known to mankind!




P.S.
If any of you actually buys this for me I will give you the most sincere hug ever given in all of eternity.

P.P.S.
Why the fuck did Niero do away with "Last Comment: You suck. by God"? "Offline, brb" just isn't the same.

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8:33 PM on 01.23.2008  

New Best Gaming Webcomic Evaaaaaaaaar!

Yes I know this is kind of a repost but fuck you. If you bitch I will eat your family.





The side of the story we've never seen. From my personal favorite webcomic ever, Overcompensating. Please read it.

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8:13 PM on 01.23.2008  

Super Awesome Team Fortress 2 Update News

Valve are (is?) overachievers! Which is good for us. According to a source which shall not be named, the mega huge TF2 update coming soon is even mega-er and huge-er Previously we thought the update simply was some new achievements, an update to the medic, and two new maps. But now we know...
















*scroll down*























*more*















*random webcomic intermission*











Team Fortress 2 gets unlockable weapons! In the spirit of awesomeness, every class will gain access to new weapons and equipment. According to El article, one example of new stuff is:

"The first Medic unlock, for example, is called the Overhealer. Instead of temporarily buffing people's health to 50% above their normal maximum, it permanently boosts them to double their standard health. The downside is that it'll be dramatically worse at building Ubercharge - in fact, Valve are toying with not letting it Uber at all. "

If you want more info, just click on the damn link already.


And I forgot to mention, new game type.

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