In honor of my One Year Anniversary coming up in one week I thought I'd take a moment and write a little sattire on the subject of marriage. This article is all in good fun, and I still consider marrying my wife one of the smartest desicions I have ever made. Enjoy.

You know I was thinking about marriages in MMOs, and I thought it would be great if some devs would finally develop a marriage system that mirrors our world a little more accurately. Now I’m not saying we need to tarnish the always quaint “and they lived happily ever after” type of ceremony which one finds online more often than not. I’m just saying we add a few little extras to spice the experience up a little bit. Here’s what I came up with:

1. For the solo player, or the player that can’t find a mate you can quest for your NPC wife/husband. This quest would take you from tavern to tavern looking for the love of your virtual life. Don’t forget to raise your newly acquired drinking skill to help resist the effects of drunkenness as that tends to make the ugly girls prettier and the dumber guys more interesting. If that doesn’t pan out you could always look at the local personals board to view the portrait and profile of single NPCs who are also looking for love. Be careful though all may not be as it seems.

2. All weddings will generate two random sets of in-laws whose sole purpose is to make your marriage more difficult through criticisms of your mate and guilt trips that you spend more time with the other set of randomly generated in laws than you do with them.

3. The married couples would combine their bank inventories, and the newlyweds would not be able to withdraw money or items or make auction house purchases with out the approval of the other.

4. The married couple will be automatically grouped together upon login with the exception of Thursday evenings which will be known as guys/girls night out.

5. Last but not least if you find out the married life isn’t for you no problem you can get a divorce where each spouse will have to hire an attorney found conveniently in any major city for 5,000gp. These two attorneys will then haggle everything you own including the equipment on your back through a series of random loot roles. While in the process you and your soon to be ex can engage in name calling and accusations for experience points.

Now I know this seems a little over the top, but just take a minute and plug this in to your favorite MMO. You have to admit you’d never look at an online wedding the same again. Feel free to add to my idea below or tell me what you think I always appreciate the feedback.


And that’s my 2 copper.
Until next time.