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EraVulgaris avatar 9:10 PM on 01.06.2010  (server time)
Crackdown Review, and why if Crackdown 2 isn't the best game ever I will cry.

Long title, but it really says it all. First, Crackdown review. I know, a few years late, but hey. Crackdown 2 soon. What better time to pick it up?

I love Crackdown. I'm not done, but I am about 15 hours in, and at the last area with 4 star agility. I am taking my sweet, sweet time with this one. Instead of rushing from boss to boss, I'm collecting orbs, doing rooftops races, and... blowing shit up. So much. This is in my top 10 games of all time, possibly reaching the top 5, and not because it's beautiful (it is good looking on occasion ), or because the boss level design is good (there have been some badass boss areas), but because this game is so much fucking fun. Crackdown is pure, unadulterated fun, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

It starts with a bang. You drive out of your base, directly into a street battle. You get out of your car. You do something stupid. You die. Take two. Crackdown could be called an easy game. It doesn't punish you. There are no lives. Sure, it takes away your level progression, but nothing you can't redo in a few minutes. But, as you progress, bosses will have larger bases, with more enemies, and you will die. Lots. I'm playing on Ruthless (I'm not sure if this game has an easy mode, but if it does, this is the one that's normal), and I've discovered you can't run in guns blazing once you hit the second out of three areas. Not going to fly. There is strategy, and quick thinking. But let's get down to the gameplay. Running and jumping are going to be your main methods of transportation. Cars... suck. Driving is possibly the worst part of the game, and it brings me little to no satisfaction. Jump height is determined by your Agility skill, which you level up by collecting Agility Orbs. Strength, is fairly obvious, but it allows you to pick up and hit larger objects, and throw or kick them farther. Shooting, which is done with a lock on system, levels up the speed in which you lock on to certain body parts, and your effectiveness with these guns. Driving affects speed and handling of vehicles. Explosives improves the blast radius of grenades, rocket launchers and the likes. You acquire these by using them to kill enemies. So yes, there is grinding.

The objective is to kill 21 bosses, in groups of 7, 3 areas. The 3 gangs you fight, because, by the way, YOU'RE A SUPERCOP, are Los Muertos, Volk, and Shai-Gen, in order of increasing difficulty and building size. Buildings are your playground, really. It's one of the highlights of Crackdown, rooftop running.

Enough with that, just go buy it. Seriously. It's at most 15$. Now for:

If Crackdown 2 isn't the best game ever, I will cry

I will list reasons:

1. Jumping and orb whoring are never going to be less fun

Being a whore has never been this fun

2.More enemies + more friends + more physics = better game
I kinda liked the freaks in Crackdown, I mean, they're funny, but flying, clambering, pus filled mutants? And I have EXPLOSIVES? I love seeing bodies fly through the air, and as soon as I send a heat seeker at one of those assholes while my friend fends off terrorists, I may be compelled to stop playing Red Dead Redemption for a while.

3.Mission variation
A legitimate complaint with the first Crackdown was the lack of mission variety. Literally. There are 21 story missions, and they're all the same, albeit in different settings. With a few new missions, even the toughest critics heart will melt.

4.An exclusive that isn't Halo or Gears of War
I just had to say it. Sure, there's Alan Wake. But PS3 gets the better exclusives. I am a firm believer in this. Crackdown 2 will be the game I use to slap stupid people with. I may buy a second copy just for that reason. That'll teach Uncharted 2. Maybe.

Basically it will add everything you all bitched about. And if Ruffian breaks it, I will cry. A whole week of mourning will follow in which I will refuse to play any games. Then I will methodically kill every member of their team and their family. Then I'll jump away and blow up some gang cars with my homing miss-- sorry. I'm sure you get the point.

I will be all over this like Pedobear on a 9 year old

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