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There are no spoilers, unless a few that reveal nothing count. I was beating Mass Effect 1, because it didn't want to be a noob who didn't import. Anyways, as I'm going in the Mako to one of the final sections of the game, I hear "IT'S A TRAP!" from Wrex.

That is the most I've laughed at a video game in recent memory. Either BioWare put that in on purpose, or by chance it ends up that the weird looking lizard thing says that, but I don't care, because that was amazing, and made my day.








The download is about 1.35gb. Is it worth your time, as it's free? The answer is sweet Jesus yes. Now, if you're angry about the title, I'm not done. It's better for me, and quite probably a whole legion of other people. Unlike Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (for those who didn't already know... noob), it is not a shooting gallery in a tiny map. It is a large-ish scale team based game. Now, while 24 players is no 256, it is still no slouch. You go in squads of 4, possibly with your friends, possibly with strangers, and in the beta, you set or disarm charges, depending on what side you are. There is only one map. I have already played this map a dozen or more times. It, in itself, I would pay a few bucks for. If you're unfamiliar with the Battlefield series, it originated on PC, where large amounts of players would go by foot, on boats, in tanks, or in helicopters and planes, and basically have a huge war. Oh yeah, it's as fun as it sounds. Bad Company 2 is a bit of a departure, with smaller battles, change of console, and improved game mechanics, such as fully destructible environments. Now, here's where you're going to have to stay with me.


More like No Thank You

I like it a lot better than Modern Warfare 2, and I've only played one map. Now you may be saying "BaTtLeFiLd sux now tahyt it isnt on PC n MW ROOOOOLSZZZ!", or something more civilized, but I'm going to point out why it's for different people. First off, MW2 is for self-minded players. Admit it, you don't give a shit if you team loses. As long as you did the best, it was worth it. In Bad Company 2, that is most certainly not the case. There will be points where entire teams are on the frontline, engaged in a massive firefight, and if you're stupid, you will die outright in two seconds flat. A tank or two, a whole bunch of grunts and maybe a helicopter will be all fighting for one point. Obviously, some prefer the finesse of sniping those who are exposed. And, of course, some people like to be that guy with a grenade launcher who blows the snipers cover into smithereens. But I've never been so engaged in a MW2 match, period. I admit, it is a great game, and very intense at times, but I would rather be playing for a team that I actually am trying my hardest for, as opposed to trying to grind.

Another valid reason is it's just plain more fun with friends. You can spawn next to people in your squad, so if you and a few friends are playing on the same team, you can basically roll as a pack the ENTIRE TIME. I can't stress that enough, you have the option of being with them the whole game, and coordination is much easier.

There's one more, and this is the kicker for me; scale. The scale is simply amazing. Once again, not MAG, but I'll take it. MW2 has some decent sized, even large maps. The beta map is divided into 3 parts, each about as big as those in Modern Warfare 2. And while it's sometimes hard to find people in MW2, you will have no problem finding a fight, as they ingeniously constructed this map to funnel people into a main conflict, while having enough distinct sections so that there can be smaller scale, but very real fights going on at the same time.

For those of you who really and truly love MW2, go for it. I don't care. But if I can have at least one more person online consistently when Bad Company 2 releases, I suppose my job is done.


FLAMEBAIT FLAMEBAIT FLAMEBAIT

Note, the game is in beta. Some matches were quite laggy, but I had no trouble in most. I expect them to fix this, and if they don't, it will make me sad.
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Long title, but it really says it all. First, Crackdown review. I know, a few years late, but hey. Crackdown 2 soon. What better time to pick it up?

I love Crackdown. I'm not done, but I am about 15 hours in, and at the last area with 4 star agility. I am taking my sweet, sweet time with this one. Instead of rushing from boss to boss, I'm collecting orbs, doing rooftops races, and... blowing shit up. So much. This is in my top 10 games of all time, possibly reaching the top 5, and not because it's beautiful (it is good looking on occasion ), or because the boss level design is good (there have been some badass boss areas), but because this game is so much fucking fun. Crackdown is pure, unadulterated fun, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

It starts with a bang. You drive out of your base, directly into a street battle. You get out of your car. You do something stupid. You die. Take two. Crackdown could be called an easy game. It doesn't punish you. There are no lives. Sure, it takes away your level progression, but nothing you can't redo in a few minutes. But, as you progress, bosses will have larger bases, with more enemies, and you will die. Lots. I'm playing on Ruthless (I'm not sure if this game has an easy mode, but if it does, this is the one that's normal), and I've discovered you can't run in guns blazing once you hit the second out of three areas. Not going to fly. There is strategy, and quick thinking. But let's get down to the gameplay. Running and jumping are going to be your main methods of transportation. Cars... suck. Driving is possibly the worst part of the game, and it brings me little to no satisfaction. Jump height is determined by your Agility skill, which you level up by collecting Agility Orbs. Strength, is fairly obvious, but it allows you to pick up and hit larger objects, and throw or kick them farther. Shooting, which is done with a lock on system, levels up the speed in which you lock on to certain body parts, and your effectiveness with these guns. Driving affects speed and handling of vehicles. Explosives improves the blast radius of grenades, rocket launchers and the likes. You acquire these by using them to kill enemies. So yes, there is grinding.

The objective is to kill 21 bosses, in groups of 7, 3 areas. The 3 gangs you fight, because, by the way, YOU'RE A SUPERCOP, are Los Muertos, Volk, and Shai-Gen, in order of increasing difficulty and building size. Buildings are your playground, really. It's one of the highlights of Crackdown, rooftop running.

Enough with that, just go buy it. Seriously. It's at most 15$. Now for:
[b]
If Crackdown 2 isn't the best game ever, I will cry [/b]

I will list reasons:

1. Jumping and orb whoring are never going to be less fun
Fact.

Being a whore has never been this fun

2.More enemies + more friends + more physics = better game
I kinda liked the freaks in Crackdown, I mean, they're funny, but flying, clambering, pus filled mutants? And I have EXPLOSIVES? I love seeing bodies fly through the air, and as soon as I send a heat seeker at one of those assholes while my friend fends off terrorists, I may be compelled to stop playing Red Dead Redemption for a while.

3.Mission variation
A legitimate complaint with the first Crackdown was the lack of mission variety. Literally. There are 21 story missions, and they're all the same, albeit in different settings. With a few new missions, even the toughest critics heart will melt.

4.An exclusive that isn't Halo or Gears of War
I just had to say it. Sure, there's Alan Wake. But PS3 gets the better exclusives. I am a firm believer in this. Crackdown 2 will be the game I use to slap stupid people with. I may buy a second copy just for that reason. That'll teach Uncharted 2. Maybe.

Basically it will add everything you all bitched about. And if Ruffian breaks it, I will cry. A whole week of mourning will follow in which I will refuse to play any games. Then I will methodically kill every member of their team and their family. Then I'll jump away and blow up some gang cars with my homing miss-- sorry. I'm sure you get the point.


I will be all over this like Pedobear on a 9 year old
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Get the fuck to it. I wish I could like my Wii as much as my Xbox. I put off Xbox for almost 5 years in the hopes that Wii would get some better games. It didn't. I felt left out. Bully. MadWorld. RE4 Wii Edition. Excitebots. Games I own(ed). They're all fantastic games. I bought maybe a Wii game every month or so. I've had my Xbox a month and a half, and I have... 6 games I think it is. Saying the Wiis graphics aren't up to date is no excuse. As I recall, you can make a good game without uber graphics. Yeah, you can. I have 3 games on my list that I have to buy for Wii, without a doubt. Red Steel 2, No More Heroes 2, and Silent Hill: SM. (Thanks for sealing the deal Destructoid) My Xbox list is over 2 times that. Well over. So I ask you, where is your excuse? It better be good, damn it. Good like making games for Wii gives you AIDS. Or your dick falls off, and gets eaten by rabid dogs.


If your wang is not in this dogs mouth, you have no excuse.

Let's go through some examples of Wii games shall we?

RE4: Wii Edition. Well it's RE4. You can't go wrong. But is it better than GC? Having played both, I'm going to say yes. Yes it is. Better controls. End of story. The made one of the best games ever, better. (Before you bring up Okami, I didn't really love it on Wii. Sketchy line detection REALLY pissed me off)

MadWorld: It's fun on such a basic, brutal level, and so immensely fun, you just can't say no. Sure, the beat 'em up mechanics are solid, but not revolutionary by any means. But neither is Castle Crashers (if you haven't noticed by me bringing this up for the second post in a row, I love this game). It's still hella awesome. Boom, good original Wii game. Go Platinum Games.

Little Kings Story: Sounds really awesome, although I haven't played it. It's on my "See for 30$, buy" list. Without hesitation. Colour me excited.

Zack and Wiki: I don't like point and click adventures, but it's one of the most highly acclaimed games on Wii. If others like it so much, there must be some merit.

Ok, I'm out of examples, but I'm just blanking out right now. There are maybe 1 or 2 more (hurr hurr hurr). Don't get me wrong though. I love the Wii. My white... prism isn't used as much as it should be though. And I exclusively blame 3rd party developpers. Some say Nintendo is slacking with their new games. I respectfully disagree. I love the NSMB Wii. I didn't buy it though, because I'm building my library of Xbox games, and I played through3 and a half worlds already. It's hella fun. Are you saying Twilight Princess sucked? It EMBODIED Zelda. Maybe not the best, but it was well worth playing. Did you not like Super Mario Galaxy? It's one of my favorite games of all times. Ever. It is better than Super Mario 64, even considering the generation gap between them. Metroid: Other M looks.. curious. But that's Team Ninja! So we're all good!

Going WWE on his ass.

I really hope somebody from some awesome new team reads this. We really new IPs, be daring. A new series to look forward to. Give us a Borderlands. Give us a BioShock. Give us something that defines the Wii!


No bad ideas please?


Vomit is the gameplay hook. May induce vomitting in gamers.
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Everybody stop.



Good new blog? Maybe. This odd situation is all too common. I am: The Casual Hardcore Gamer. You may be saying "Not possible, do not read" but do carry on. You may just be one too. Signs of the casual hardcore are as follows.

1. You get all the best games. Used. Why get the hot new game when you can get last months for 20$ less
?

2. RPGs both frighten and seduce you. So loooong. STORY. It can drag. LEVELING. Occasionally confusing stat management. STAT MANAGEMENT. Yeah, I always buy them too.

3. You're alright at CoD MW2. You can hit things, but the phrase "Check your covers and corners" confuses you. Hey, at least I can go 8 - 9.

4. YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF FINISHING GAM ES. Except Chrono Trigger and anything Mario related. Almost done CoD: WaW though. On hardened. Oh yeah. You wish you had those skillz0rz.

5. You own a Wii. (optional)

6. Only good turn based strategy game is Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes.

Are you guilty of 2 of those? Oh yeah. You're among our ranks. By the way, this is all subjective. You could call Jim Sterling "hardcore". You could also call a platypus hardcore. It's all in your opinion. If you pwn nubz at Mario Kart Wii, go ahead and saying you're hardcore. Just get the fuck out of my blog. Still with me on the casual hardcore deal? Cool.

Now choose a side, nub. I bet you'd just love to be hardcore, or gaming embarrasses you. If it's the second, also get the fuck out. I'm giving tips on how to roll with the cool kids. Like Jim Sterling.


Go go gadget NAME DROPPING TO FIT IN

Read a healthy mix of 2 parts Dtoid and 1 part IGN. They're not that bad. Actually. Their opinions kinda suck, but hell, that's fine. Nice long reviews. With that cocktail, you'll have all the news you need t pretend you care about the "in" games.

"Oh yeah, Shadow Complex. So good. Go buy it."

See? It's almost as if I know what I'm talking about.

Play some more fucking games. It's that easy. Borrow them. Boost your gamerscore, son. Get some more trophies. Not only are you gaining valuable XP points in the Cool section, but you may actually learn what things like "clipping" mean. I do now.

Awesome. Good job. You're cool now. Go do something cool. Play BioShock. Download an XBLA game (Castle Crashers, so good.), chat up a clerk at an independant game store. You might get a bit of sass, but it'll grow on you. You're well on your way to being hardcore, Padawan. As am I.

Go easy on me, it's my first time.
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