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9:21 PM on 05.06.2014

Ten Things You Might Not Know About Me, Eno the Lurker!

Howdy-howdy! Looks like it is about time for my once-a-year blog post, and there's not better time than the night before a final exam!

I can see success happening here, guys.

#10: I Actually Made it Into a PhD Program

That's right! Higher academia made the foolhardy decision to accept me into their PhD program. Specifically, I got into the Special Education and Disability Policy program at Virginia Commonwealth University's School of Education. Bonus fact, I also got my Bachelor's degree in Psychology and my Master's Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling from VCU, which apparently makes me a "three-horned ram."

Well, that is unsettling.

9. I ACTIVELY Sought Out a Virtual Boy in January

...and I bought the damn thing. I never had one as a kid, but I read a LOT of Nintendo Power, and they featured the machine and its games for about a year. I wanted one SO BAD, but the closest I came was a demo unit that was in a local youth center that only had Red Alarm. My mother never let me have one, as she had read about the health issues and headaches. Well, the one I got works perfectly, and came with Mario Tennis, Teleroboxer, and VB Wario Land. It can induce a headache in roughly 10 minutes.

Listen to your parents, kids. Also, Tylenol is practically a required accessory.

8. I work two jobs

Yet I only work about 26 hours a week. I'm a Graduate Assistant at VCU for about 20 hours a week (which pays for my education AND earns me a stipend), and I spend about 6 hours working at a GameStop as Game Advisor. At VCU, I answer to two different professors, one of whom is incredibly awesome, and the other is an intolerable idiot. At GameStop, I get to relax and mess around with co-workers and customers (I used to be a third-key manager 7 years ago). Oddly enough, I find the job at GS as a way to detox and let my brain go all farty after 6 days of hard academia.

GameStop: Not always shitty.

7. I Co-habitate with my Pet Hedgehog



6. I've Lived on my Own Since 2007

I've not loved with family, friends, or a roommate since 2007. I've made enough money to not have a roomie or have me beg off my parents monthly (save for the two months this year I was jobless). It is such a good feeling, but I feel weird staying in other people's places overnight. Not to mention that I have a killer view of the city from my apartment.

Killer. View.

5. As a Military Brat Growing Up, I Moved Ten Times Before I was 20

Pretty straightforward, but here's how it plays out, moving roughly every two years:

Texas to Germany, Germany to Kansas, Kansas to North Carolina, North Carolina to Colorado, Colorado to North Carolina, North Carolina to Izmir, Turkey, Izmir to Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania to North Carolina, North Carolina to Winchester, Virginia, Winchester to Brooklyn, New York, Brooklyn to Richmond, Virginia. I've also been to 4 continents out of 7. 

I often tell folks I've done more in the first 16 years of my life than most will do in 60. That isn't a hyperbole.

4. As a result of point five, I went to 4 different high schools all 4 years.

Pretty self-explanatory, really. As a bonus fact, because I had shattered my tibia and fibula while living in Brooklyn, NYC schools sent me a tutor to finish my classes and registered me as a class of one. Because of that, I actually got a valedictorian diploma.

All it cost me was a slightly-mangled leg.

3. I have Never Seen The Godfather, The Big Lebowski, Office Space, or a Single Episode of Game of Thrones.

Some of these came out when I lived overseas, some I was too young for, and others I just haven't felt any particular urge to watch. I get a lot of flak from my friends about it, though.

 2. I used to have a deep, passionate love for Team Fortress 2.

In put 935 hours into TF2. I own countless hats and weapons, including Max's Severed Head, and some rare vintage items. And then, for some damn reason, I just stopped and didn't give enough of a good goddamn to get back on. A shame, because if I knew more people to play with, I would...

My two favorite classes. T'was a good update, that day...

1. I'd Actually Like to Get to Know More People and Play with Them

Some might accuse me of being...distant. But in reality, I'd like to be nothing less. I'm on every major platform save for the Xbox One, and when I'm not in class or working on a project, I'd love to play with some people from Destructoid. My STEAM ID is Eno Sachran, my PSN (for Ps3, 4, and Vita) is EnoSachran, and my 3DS/Wii u FC is 0559-6768-5478. So, y'know, feel free to add and message me, because I'm down to play all kinds of games! I've been around forever, so...maybe I'll make more of an effort to play with y'all, too.

And really, wouldn't you want to play a few rounds with a guy like this? 

Thanks for reading, and here's to another year-long slumber whilst I lurk (like I do).

~Eno!   read

12:01 AM on 12.09.2012

NP: A Eulogy (With some NVGR Venting)

(I'm going to ask that you all forgive me: I know that my blogs are few and far between, but I had to write this, to get through some feelings. No funny pictures, no comments, just words trying to convey complicated feelings.)

I'm not going to lie: I was sad when I heard Nintendo Power was shuttering up, but I cried when I read the Nester and Max comic tucked away in the last pages of the final issue. Not just because it was a beautiful tribute to a magazine that I loved, but because of the rush of emotions it made me feel.

I had been a subscriber since 1991. My first issue was a copy of #1 my parents got me, but my first subscribed issue was the one with Robin Hood on the cover. I eventually got some backissues as a present from my mom for doing good on my report card in 1992, but I was a subscriber from 1991 until a little over a year ago. I still have my power cards I ripped from the back of the mags, my Super Power Club membership card, I remember sending a letter with Legend of Zelda art back when I was 9.

I had to have this issue. I had nearly a full set. Hell, I still have the issues with the Super Mario Adventures comics in them in my bookcase as we speak.

I remember the excitement of getting every new issue. Of bringing them to school, and being cool because I could help out with games that other kids found too hard. It was a present from my mother every year. Growing up a military brat, there were few constants: we were going to move in 2 years or less, Dad goes to work, Mom worked hard raising two kids, I was expected to do well in school, and I would always have Nintendo Power to look forward to every month.

I kinda always expected these things to be a constant in life, since there were so few. I've lived in Richmond, VA for nearly ten years now. TEN! That would be unbelievable to my younger self. Dad is retired, and he's fighting cancer (and kicking much ass thus far!) with mom by his side, us kids now well grown. I've been out of school now, but I want to go back to earn a doctorate, maybe because I feel so comfortable in academia. But last year, I stopped getting Nintendo Power, and now there is none.

You'll have to forgive me if my thoughts seem scattered. I've not vocalized them aloud, and I find myself tearing up again over my keyboard.

These things aren't a constant. Nothing PHYSICAL is. But what does stay are the nostalgic feelings. Rushing to the mailbox every month. Hugging my mother when I did well in school and getting to go to Pizza Hut. The time my father showed off his combat skills while I was playing GI Joe on the NES by coming within an inch of my face with a karate kick (to be fair, I said he couldn't). Christmas mornings getting a new game, seeing the snow accumulate on the windowsills, drinking a coke while driving all over the midwest, beating Sagat with Zangief on my Sega Nomad while going cross-country in Turkey...I'll have these forever.

But now, Nintendo Power has passed. One day, we, too, shall all pass, but we have the ability to make new, amazing memories and experiences. I have a second family in my Tuesday night gaming group. I go out and try to do special things with my friends and family. I have realized that I have the ability to help create and stir up those feelings in others that I was blessed with throughout my life. In that way, Nintendo Power lives on. There is always something to look forward to, not just every month, but every week and every day. I may not rush to the mailbox anymore, but I reach out to those I love with the same passion as I did reaching arm-deep to get my magazine.

Nintendo Power died this month, but it wouldn't want us to mourn its death. I won't pour one out for it, but I will raise a glass. This is a time to celebrate the life of a now-defunct magazine, and moreover, celebrate our lives as it affected us. As I pour some sangria into a wineglass and fire up my NES, I offer that you others raise your drinks as well. Here's to the life of an old friend, and the lives that were made better by knowing it.

You are THE source, Nintendo Power. And you will always be my pros.   read

2:06 PM on 11.18.2012

Re-introducing myself, and some Wii U impressions!

Hi everyone. Long time no see. Yer old Uncle Eno has been a busy cat lately. See, since we last spoke...oh...March? Of 2011? Jesus. I am WAY behind on updates here.

I am a creature of shame.

So! How about some personal stuff? See me? I'm a Master of Science now! Rehab Counseling, to be exact, but I've also just applied for Doctoral Studies in Disability Education.

I also wear bowties now. I hear bowties are Dr. Who reference.

I've also got a pet hedgehog! Her name is Fiona. She's kinda fussy, but she's adorable, and she attacks people she doesn't know.

Here she is, melting post-bath.

Most recently, just like many people, I went out and got a Wii U! I came home, plugged this baby in, and was ready for business!

Woo! Let's do this!

Well, I was. The Wii U, however, decided that no, we're going to update. A lot.

I have a new enemy. That enemy is the dreaded Blue Bar of Loading. It is drunk. Like any status bar from 1998, it'll hop around, telling you that it has three minutes left. Oh, wait, it meant 16. 24:37? No, 2 minutes. Oh hell, Only 5 minutes? Well, be prepared for the longest goddamn 4 minutes of your life, because TIME MEANS NOTHING TO THIS BLUE BAR OF HATE.

The best part?

System update? Blue bar.
Got a new game? Blue bar.


Well, once the hassle of blue bars is out, there's the games themselves. I've got two, so let's discuss them, shall we?


Little Big Nintendo?

It's cute. Like many others have said, it does a good job of showing you what the controller can do, which is nice. I have to say, I'm really impressed with two things about the controller: 1) it is REALLY light., and 2) the controller's screen is 1:1 with the visuals on my TV. I've got this thing plugged up to an HDMI port, and I'm having a hard time telling the difference between the two screens. I approve of this.

Of the games themselves, I have to say that I enjoyed the Balloon Fight, F-Zero, and Yoshi games. They control splendidly, and I can see myself screwing around with them for the sake of fun.

Also, you know what Nintendo does well? Cute. And there's a whole lotta high-definition cute going on here. I'm really looking forward to what HAL Labs has in store for us this generation...


Ah, the best two characters I've played as thus far...Crazy Taxi represent!

I've put more time into this, and I like it! the controls are solid, the graphics are pretty, and it is just plain fun. I've encountered a glitch or two here and there, but they haven't detracted from the overall fun to be had. The fact that you gain EXP to (very simply) upgrade your driver is cool, and warrants me actually playing as other characters.

Like Amy Rose. *sigh* I'm sure THAt will be fun...maybe...

Still, I'm liking what I'm playing thus far. If anyone else is up for it, I'm Eno_sachran on the Nintendo Network. Add me! We can chat and be friendly!

On that note, I'm going to mess around with the machine some more. Hope to see some of you D'toiders on here as well!

Stay classy!   read

5:16 PM on 03.12.2011

After Quite Some Time, a New Blog Post

Welcoming myself back, now with 35% extra Buddy Christ!

Wow. It's been ages since I've posted on here. In fact, let's see...MGSOnline? That's the last thing I've posted about? Christ, I've been out of the loop.

Ok, well, that's not TOTALLY true. I've been silently stalking Destructoid for years, and that pattern has held up until recently. Fact is, I've been busy with life. I've had a few relationships, held an awesome steady job and recently graduated with a Master's degree in rehab counseling. I'm not stopping there, though: I'm shooting for a Doctorate in Psychology in the next year or so.

Myself, in my spatial estate after I get that Doctorate in Evil and horrible, disfiguring scars.

I've been playing games on my downtime. A LOT. Maybe I'm making up for lost time, but I've been gaming like a fiend. Marvel vs Capcom 3 hasn't ejected from my PS3 since launch day, and I don't think it'll leave until Portal 2 comes out.

Normally, I'm one of those guys who gets a game, plays it intensely, and then puts it away when the newest thing comes out...and sometimes, that means I don't complete the games I HAD been playing. So I decided to challenge myself and complete the hell out of my backlog of games. On each system. Needless to say, with 3 consoles, 2 portables, and a decent laptop to work with, there are certain games that get played more than others anyway. Here are the games and a few quick thoughts on each title...

On the 360: Banjo-Kazooie Nuts n' Bolts

If we gaze into the abyss, it also gazes back at us...

Dammit, Rare. I WANT to like this game, I really do. I love the other B-K games...why did you have to screw it up by making a clunky, DIY-style game? Seriously, the parts that are straight platforming are great, it is just the other parts where you're DRIVING a vehicle that make it a pain in the ass. But I'll finish you, oh yes...yes I will...

On the Wii: Donkey Kong Country Returns


Dear Retro Studios,


Love, Eno.

On the PS3: MVC3

This is generally the moment when people start cursing at me, only there's a Red Hulk there.

I don't know what it is, but I don't love this game. I LIKE this game, but I don't love it like I did other entries in the Vs. series. I can't quite put my finger on it, but some sort of amalgamation of the controls and the lack of gravity on some of the characters make it seem kinda airy. Still, I have a blast playing it and learning new combos, so no real complaints here.

On the DS: Dragon Quest IX

I imagine everyone in this picture saying "Huzzah!" And now, you will too from this point on.

Because I am a sad little man with no other friends, I play this one on my own with my own custom team. Seeing how as the game only explores the story of the main hero, I've had to come up with backstories on my own for my other two party members. Again, sad little man. Still, if you like classic-style Enix JRPGs (and I do), then you really can't go wrong with Dragon Warrior (BECAUSE I AM OLD SCHOOL).

On the PSP: Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep

Bonus round: show this to vidjya game players, and see how many froth at the mouth from joy/rage.

You pretentiously-named FUCK. You're lucky, y'know. Unlike the other portable KH titles, you actually PLAY like a console KH game. Were it not for this, I would have just gone "meh" and merely watched videos on youtube to fill me in for future titles. While your dialogue is awkward, your gameplay is fun, and the FFV-esque method of learning new abilities has me hooked. Well played, Square. Well played...

On the PC: Team Fortress 2

Dammit, I LOVE this game. I loved it on the PS3, and I love it more on the PC. I play it daily, sometimes for about 30 minutes, sometimes for hours on end. I cannot express how much I enjoy TF2, even if some servers' chats are just trading spam. Still, I've got a mic and a sexy man-voice, so you all should hop on and play with me sometime. That came out creepier than I had imagined...

Come now, I won't bite...hard.

So, yeah. I'm back, I'll try to post and comment more often, and viva Miyamoto.

Cocks and kisses,

Eno Sachran   read

4:00 PM on 06.19.2008

*Boom!* HEADSHOT!...or, How I Am the Worst Sniper Ever

Ok, Destructoid community, I'm going to be upfront with you: I was one of those gamers who went and bought an 80GB PS3, mostly for MGS4. I have mixed feelings of overwhelming shame and pure awesome that I got one, but it really is a great deal. There is basically three games right in the box; MGS4, MGO, and Pain (which has the depth of a flashgame on Newgrounds, but hey, free is free.) This entry is about Metal Gear Online.

Now, before I started playing, I had almost zero online gameplay experience. I'd played Smash Bros Brawl online, but really, there's little difference between that and getting 3 more friends over at your place to duke it out. I'd also flirted with Final fantasy XI on PS2 and WoW, but found myself not really into them (and regretting the financial output for both titles). So when I got my PS3 online, I thought "Oh neat, an online 3rd-person shooter! Basically for free! NEAT!"

Now THIS is Metal Gear Awesome!

After playing MGS4 for a while and getting used to the controls, I decided to tackle Metal Gear Online. After getting the Konami and game IDs and passwords, I decided to make a sniper. When I played Halo 2, I loved sniping people from massive distance away, so it was thrilling to think I could re-live those moments of glory.

My God, I was so damn naive.

After making a character and joining a beginner's game, I realized how clueless I was. after choosing a map, the game pulls up a screen of red and blue weapons. Having what can only be described as a massive brain fart, I thought "blue weapons...I must not be able to select the red ones because I have no Drebin Points hurhurhur!" No, folks, blue weapons simply mean they use anesthetic rounds... of course I spent the first hour of play wondering why the frack my headshots were not killing people.

See, this isn't altogether effective, as in the next two seconds, I'll be blown away...

After getting screamed at in my headset "USE THE RED WEAPONS YOU STUPID @$$$," I took the stranger's kind advice and chose a real sniper rifle. And it was good. I was getting headshots off left and right. I was "teh hawt shite."

Except by "getting off headshots" I mean "I was getting killed left and right."

I'm not totally sure what was wrong, here. After clearing MGS4 with less than 75 alerts, I figured I was pretty damn good at being stealthy, and I know I can aim pretty damn well. Regardless of this fine achievement, I would find myself spawning right when a grenade landed at my feet, or turning the corner to the watchtower only to be met with a sniper's bullet. The most embarrassing form to death is when you've lined up the perfect shot, only to find a machinegunner has pumped your arse full of lead. This seems to happen unusually often to me, and it always ends the same way...

Me: (into microphone) "FAWK!"
Enemy: (from earpiece) "HAW-HAW!"

Despite the fact that I appear to be a bulletcatcher, I enjoy playing the game. The community generally seems nice, and I have an awesome time running around and getting blown away.

For those who wish to catch me online, my name is Eno_Sachran. Chances are, you'll find me face down in a pool of my own blood. But I'll be having the time of my life.

See you all online!   read

8:15 AM on 06.19.2008

Oy vey, people...(NVGR)

Oy...see, I've been lurking Destructoid for ages now, and the contest was just incentive to actually get a damn c-blog.

See, it is funny, because it is a lurker from Jak and Daxter, and this a videogame website and....ah, nevermind.

I don't know how often I'll make new blog posts myself (due to the fact that I fear I am an ineloquent ass mostdays), but there have been plenty of times in the past where I wanted to comment on another blog post. Now I have the means to do so. It just took the right incentive, and throwing my hat into a contest based on a dumb internet meme is what it took. Retrospect: yeah, it looks like I'm a troll who's in it for goodies and won't be back. Planned reality: to respond and get my thoughts out there in a clever, thoughtful manner that won't insult my intelligence, or more importantly, the community's intelligence.

(EDIT: Of course, I just realized how futile justification is over the internet. Looks like I'll be writing up my experiences with MGO when I get back from work...)   read

12:52 AM on 06.19.2008

I say, it appears that gentleman has an aura of energy that equals and has grown well over NINE THOUSAND!!! (A pictogram)

This is my first blog post, people. Please be kind in the future.


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