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9:44 PM on 07.19.2010

Rebuttal: Collateral Damage to Children's Psyche?

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, it's arguin' time, hold onto your hats. Also, cocks.]

This originally started as a comment refuting Collateral Damage to Children's Psyche? that got way too overblown. So instead you get this blog. I suggest reading the previous argument before delving into my rebuttal. Be warned, this blog contains rampant opinions and no pictures (gasp)!

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with many of your points. For one thing there has never been any evidence to support the idea of "causation" and instead only "correlation" has been found. In the scientific community, the burden of proof is a requirement and has never been something this argument has been able to bear. As well, it seems that in your third paragraph you give a quote that essentially invalidates your argument.

Here is what you said.
"There's a documentary called 'the soundtrack of war' where soldiers interviewed literally say a lot of them were expecting the war to be like a video game. 'I was expecting to just aim down the sight and shoot...It's a lot more gruesome than you think'"

If it is so much different than a video game, and so much more gruesome in an actual war, then I would argue that they have not been desensitized at all, perhaps misled, but not that video game violence has blunted their empathy. If the soldiers themselves are admitting that war is so much different than a video game, then I fail to understand how this helps your argument. If games are such an accurate depiction of war and violence then why is the real thing experienced so differently? There was recently a very good example of just how different real and fictional violence are in this video (be warned, it is not for the faint of heart and contains actual violence). Still, this video demonstrates exactly how different the two are in a very definite way.

Your point about who a person is fighting also seems to fall short. If the topic is violence in video games, it should not really matter who the violence is directed toward. You bring up racial or religious minorities in America as generally being the enemies of these games, but just as often the enemy of America is the Russians, who are not well known for their abundance of melanin or their religious extremism. Similarly, you bring up civilians, including women and children, which I find strange as these are never the kinds of people the player is shooting at in war games. Their inclusion in your argument seems like an emotional pull rather than a notion grounded in fact. Perhaps if you provided an example.

I also have a problem with your assertion that the U.S. Government stepped in and regulated Black Hawk Down. I have never played the game, but as far as I know there is very little the government can do to step in and alter creative content such as this without treading on the First Amendment rights of the developers. Also, when a game like that is already so far in production it is very difficult to change it and I find it hard to believe that such an example as this is an accurate account.

You also delve into how players carry themselves online, via voice chat. I will be the last to say that there is nothing wrong with some of the things that are said in the online chats of many gamers, but it is important to realize that this is not the way in which a person will conduct themselves in normal society. The problem is anonymity, not the games themselves. Kids used to do prank calls, but when Caller ID became a prominent feature on phones and anonymity was stripped away, it ceased to be an issue. Now that anonymity exists online, where a much larger number of people can participate with an even greater amount of anonymity, the issue has resurfaced through another medium. The games are not the issue in this case, they merely carry the burden.

As for why games are targeted, I believe it is because games are the new thing. It has yet to be established and until it does it will continue to come under fire. I don't believe it is because it allows the player the power to carry out such acts because ultimately the player can only experience what the developer will allow them to experience. Perhaps if there were some game that everyone experienced differently it would be different, but to my knowledge such a game does not exist. Another part of this is that when people go to see a movie they have to go through the ticket window, and if they are not old enough they are not allowed to enter without an adult. It is much easier to regulate. Because video games are consumed in the home, only parental supervision can account for what a child is subjected too, and more often than not very little care is put toward finding out what is and is not appropriate for a child. I would also argue that very little effort is put forth by those who make this argument to find exactly how these types of games are prevented from reaching those whose minds may not be mature enough to handle the themes.

I will agree with you on your point that the "violence was there before video games" is a fairly impotent argument. Instead a better argument would look like, well, ^that, but I do believe much of what I have said to be not only logical but also provable. If I may surmise my rebuttal, though I do not deny that video games have some impact of the minds of young children, I also do not believe that it affects them to the extend and with the severity which you state or imply. Essentially, much of your argument is shallow, with very little real backing, several attempts at emotional plays and fear-mongering, and is open to simple rebuttal and even self opposition.

While my argument to your original post is over, I would like to also discuss your statement about Roger Ebert. I am an enthusiastic gamer (I rather dislike the "hardcore" label) and had no problem with him stating his views. I took issue with the fact that he based it on what he assumed to be true and not actual first hand experience, a mistake that he admitted to and regretted. Also, you say that many of the gamers that responded to him were close minded and didn't read past the title before responding. This I have an issue with, as in his final blog on the issue he said that a majority of the responders were well expressed, perhaps a bit rough, but earnest nonetheless. He admitted to removing only a small few that did not address the subject or were outright offensive.

I also don't enjoy copy pasta.   read

2:17 PM on 07.18.2010

Alternate Reality: The Ultimate Tool

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, what? It's not the end of the month. He apologizes for profaning procrastination, feel free to consider him anathema. Also, cocks.]

Blast that infernal alarm! No matter how I tried, it would never allow me to ignore it. I made sure that was the case. I finally decided to give into its shrill demands and rose from my bed. I hit the alarm, finally silencing the only tone on my phone annoying enough to demand my awakening. It was all I used my phone for anymore, and I only had it because I lacked a dedicated alarm clock and still had my phone, no matter how much its primary function had been so utterly obsoleted and I cancelled my plan quite a while ago. The clock on the phone said that I had less than 15 minutes to get dressed and get to work. A revelation such as this used to send me into a panic, for with a drive of at least 20 minutes I was sure to be late, but such was not the case anymore. Now, such an amount of time was more than enough, almost laughably so. Thanks to The Menu, such things had become trivial.

I opened it up and went to the equipment section. A collared, button up shirt, jeans, socks, and sneakers would suffice. Before closing the menu, I quickly checked under status, hungry and tired just as I suspected. I would have to endure the lethargy, but the hunger was easily remedied. I closed The Menu to find myself garbed in the clothing, taken from my item menu, that I had selected. I walked to the dining room, and pulled up The Menu again. From my items section I selected the dish I had purchased earlier, pancakes, bacon, and orange juice, and upon closing the menu found it waiting for me on the table. Food kept in the item menu never went bad and was always a few simple selections away. After making quick work of breakfast I pulled out my phone to check the time, ultimately a token gesture as the menu had one, but one that had become habit. Less than 2 minutes. I put away the phone and pulled up the menu again, navigating to the quests and mission section, to ensure that I was not forgetting to do anything. It reminded me to feed the dog and having accomplished that, I was ready to go to work just in time.

I opened The Menu again and fast traveled to work. And to think that before it was widely accepted people so vehemently opposed it, despite how much more convenient and efficient it made everything. I still remember what it was like when we didn't have The Menu, everything was so much more difficult. Hell, even menu's that didn't stop time were bothersome, though some still swore by them. I had been going to and from work since long before The Menu was introduced, why should I have to waste time every day traveling to somewhere I had already been? The idea was outdated and unnecessary since the advent of The Menu. Now I only used my car for exploring and after I found somewhere new I would just fast travel to it.

I went into work right on time, and sat at my desk. I pulled up The Menu to check my objectives for the day, and set to work completing them. The objectives menu ensued that nothing that needed to be done went ignored or forgotten.

Noon signaled the lunch hour and checking my status, I knew I was hungry again. I fast traveled to my favorite restaurant and requested a seat for two. I pulled up The Menu again and went to Party. Who did I want to have lunch with today? I settled on my good friend Joe, moved him into my party and closed the menu to find him sitting adjacent from me. He was unsurprised by this notion but scolded me for not letting him finish his conversation. It used to be the case that I would not have time to spend my lunch break with my good friend, but The Menu allowed me to summon my friends to wherever I was with a few simple selections from the party menu. After lunch was over, I removed him from my party and returned to work to finish the remainder of my tasks.

Upon finishing my last task, I was informed that it was indeed payday and all that was left to do was to collect my payment and be done with work for the day. I went into my bosses office and picked up my due, which was automatically added to the total in my menu. We no longer bothered with things like banks anymore and instead left everything to The Menu. Having collected my pay, it was no longer had a reason to be at work and so I fast traveled to the park.

It's relevant, I swear.

Upon arriving at the park, the first thing I noticed was how bright it was. It was, after all 4:00 on a sunny Florida day. I pulled up the menu and went to the configurations. I slid the brightness bar down to a more reasonable and eye friendly level and before closing The Menu, I selected my book from the items list. It was so convenient having everything I owned kept on hand within The Menu. It weighed nothing and I never had to worry about losing anything. I did notice that since I started using it I have been keeping a lot more random shit that serves no purpose but I keep around because I'm afraid I might need it later. Some time later I opened The Menu again to check my status. It was 6:30 and I was hungry again. I also noted that reading my book had raised my intelligence and I was close to the next level. Having some time, I decided to finish up the level until I had a masterful understanding of Machiavelli before fast traveling to the restaurant I had agreed to meet at.

Arriving at the restaurant, I met my girlfriend and added her into my party. While still in the menu, I changed in to something slightly more formal, as this was a fairly upscale restaurant.

I didn't bother checking the relationship status as I already knew it was going to reach the next level tonight. After sharing a romantic dinner, I paid for the meal and we fast traveled to get desert and enjoy it on the beach.

Just as I expected our relationship had leveled up to the point permitting the kinds of things that the catholic church considers unholy outside of marriage. We fast traveled to my apartment and wasted no time. I pulled up The Menu, went to equipment, and with the magic of the unequip all feature we were ready to go. After an exhausting go of it we finally settled down. I was really tired and didn't feel like talking. I knew it was a bad idea and that I might miss something important but it didn't matter to me at the moment. I went to The Menu one last time and navigated to the most handy feature it had. One Skip Cutscene later and I was happily dreaming.   read

7:50 PM on 07.15.2010

The Most Horrifying News I Have Ever Heard [NVGR]

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, the immortal commeth, and his emotions be as immovable as his unbeating heart. Also, cocks.]

Imagine this. I am comfortably laying on my couch, waiting for the oven to go off, signalling that the baked chicken I am making is ready, when a news report begins to air. Until now, the big news of the day has been the long overdue capping of the oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. It has been all good news so far. Then the familiar face of Brian Williams returns to the screen. The next statement eschewed from his mouth surprises me and I look up from my session of Persona 3 Portable to listen. The next words are those which send chills down my spine and freezes the blood in my veins.

Dick Cheney's heart has stopped beating... and he is still alive!

Yes that is correct, the former vice president and puppet master of the Bush administration does not have a pulse. Some would say that this is no surprise, and that many had assumed he had no heart to begin with, but this is different in that it is now not only figurative. All four of the major arteries leading to his black heart have been ceased to function. He is now survived by a machine, which circulates blood throughout his immortal yet frail corpse.

Apparently, this is his fifth heart attack, which is enough to frighten me to begin with. I may be ignorant, but I was taught that when one suffers a heart attack, one of the hearts four ventricles dies. A bypass can be preformed to circumvent the now dead muscle and keep a person alive. However, I had assumed that when a person suffered a heart attack it meant that some higher power meant that they no longer wished you to live. Humanity has been able to overcome this, and the gods, anticipating this ensured that after four such attempts the failsafe built into the human body would ensure their demise. Yet the archfiend continues his deathgrip on life after five such divine smiting attempts.

Now I don't know about the rest of you but this absolutely horrifies me. The man without a soul now requires not a heart as well. He has achieved immortality even in death. Now I used to play a tabletop game by the name of Warhammer 40,000, and this story has drawn a most terrifying parallel with the Emperor of Mankind, a man made immortal by the Golden Throne, an ancient machine that keeps his corpse alive while he rules over humanity as their ultimate master. Every day millions of humans are sacrificed to the Golden Throne so that the immobile corpse of the Emperor remains immortal. As if to further cement the similarities, Cheney is planned to have a heart transplant, which while seen as a normal medical practice in this age, must be seen for what it is. Another person had to die and donate their heart to ensure his survival. Huh...

For reference

The Immortal God Emperor of Humanity

For comparison

Dick Cheney

Here is a piece of writing describing the God Emperor... or Dick Cheney.

For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has
sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is
the master of Mankind by the will of the Gods and
master of a million worlds by the might of his
inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass
writing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of
Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the
Imperium for whom a thousand souls die every day,
for whom blood is drunk and flesh eaten. Human
blood and human flesh- the stuff of which the
Imperium is made.   read

9:37 PM on 06.30.2010

The Great Escape: The World is not as Colorful as it Seems

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he needs to stop procrastinating on these. Also, cocks.]

Journal, Day 1

Today is a very busy day for me. It is my thirteenth birthday. It isn't going to be like my other birthdays though. There won't be any friends, no presents, no games. Today is the day I venture alone into our world in chase of my dreams. I'm not sure why I have to, but it is something that all kids my age do in our world. I am awoken from my restless sleep by my mother who tells me what I already know. I dress myself with the slow certainty that accompanies any task taking place before an unavoidable responsibility. I eat a quick breakfast, the last with my mother, to whom I bid farewell upon departure. I never knew my father, whom I know nothing about, nor has my mother fretted over divulging the details. Regardless, I begin my entry into the world.

I am to meet the town patriarch. An intelligent man, a kind of zoologist and previously a collector of rare and exotic creatures, he was to be the one to send me on my way. Age has begun to collect its due and upon arrival I am forced to reintroduce myself. Before my journey can begin, he informs me that I must choose a companion. Though his collection of exotic animals has waned over the years, he offers me a choice of one of three companions who will accompany me on my journey. I look with anticipation upon the creatures that are offered me and eventually settle on a large lizard type animal. I am told that this creature is possessed of unflagging loyalty, and would be my faithful companion no matter my actions.

It is at this time that the grandson of the patriarch enters, for he is to start his journey today as well. We are close to the same age yet we have forever been antagonists, and this would not change on this day. Due to his age, I am yet again called upon to remind him of his own grandson's name. My peer is given the choice of the remaining two beasts and after observing my choice makes his choice, a strange turtle that walks on two legs. He suggests we compete, as he has many times before, to compare our choices.

After a short time the competition is decided in my favor, my rival storming off. I decide that having nothing left to attend to it was time for me to leave and make my way in this world. I leave the home of our patriarch and venture to the northern entrance to our town. In stark contrast to all inside the borders of our town, the trail leading away is unkempt, overgrown weeds and grass obscuring any discernible path. Unafraid, I take my first steps toward my new life.

Journal, Day 3
The world outside of my town is nothing as I expected. The overgrown paths shroud hidden dangers and beasts who attack without provocation. I find myself wondering why such a young person would be expected to make their own way in such a cruel and unforgiving world.

I have not eaten or slept since my travels began, for fear of ambush. I have already found use for my companion, whom has done well in protecting me from the beast so set upon taking advantage of the young prey that has stumbled into their world. Though he has gained in strength, it has not dissuaded any would be attackers. One thing is clear, if I am to last, I must find food.

Journal, Day 5
I ate well last night, the paths I wander have proven to be abundant with small rats and birds, whom my companion finds little challenge in defeating. I feel that if I can capture some of these other beasts, they may also be made to do my bidding. There is a town that I passed along my route, home to a specialty shop which sells a device promising such capabilities. The problem is I have little money and what little I have must be spared for food and water. My plan will have to wait for now.

Journal, Day 9
This day has informed me of yet another danger of the path I travel. There are those who wish to prey on the weak and unsuspecting who travel these routs carelessly. While traveling in the late afternoon, I found myself beset by another traveler. He would accept no conversation, choosing instead only to fight, I assume in order to deprive me of my things so that they may become his boon. My companion fought magnificently, defeating his weakling beasts. He being now defenseless, I set myself upon him before he could flee.

From him, I stole his purse containing a small but sufficient sum. Having this I allowed him to escape, knowing that with no protection, he would not last long. My companion had been injured in the exchange and I resolved to seek help. I returned to the outpost I had visited earlier on the route. There I was able to find care for my companion and the first restful nights sleep I have had since shunning my old life.

Journal, Day 18
I have added to my group of vassals. The money I received from my would be attacker, provided me with the funding I needed to purchase the device that would ensure the unquestioning loyalty of the beasts of this land. Since that time, I have managed, by means I do not proudly recall, to afford a number of these devices. To make use of them, the beasts must be captured. Once this is done, I become sole warden of their asylum and command their every action.

Among my group are one of the several small birds that can be found throughout the area, a kind of large worm with a horn atop its head which it used to inject venom into its prey, and a small rat with large teeth and a fierce disposition. I am presented with proof of the cruelty of this world almost daily. On these paths, I have found those items left behind by others. Though I do not want to, I have learned to assume the worst. I have a fleeting thought that perhaps this is what became of my father. The though is fleeting as there are far more important things to concern myself with. Still, the weakness of others works in my favor.

Journal, Day 27
I was attacked by another traveler again today. Before our fight was begun he asked me how I had come upon an item I had acquired, a kind of pin, which until his mentioning it I did not know I possessed. As it happened, he himself seemed to be the owner of such a pin as well. I told him I had found it in a set of clothes I had stolen from the campsite of another traveler. Upon hearing this, he attacked me. I was able to defeat him and capture him.

I decided to question my new prisoner as to the interest in my pin if he already had one. He told me that the pins were symbols, that they were given out by powerful beastmasters like ourselves who could prove their worth in a struggle against them. Upon hearing that I had found mine, he had assumed that I was weak and would fall easily. Knowing that he know knew the error of his decision, I deprived him of his things and left him to fend for himself in the wild.

He had given me a valuable piece of information though. In this world these pins represented power. Power ensured survival. I now resolve to defeat these beastmasters and take their symbols of power. I would defeat them all and in doing so ensure that none would challenge me. I would become the best and the most feared beast master in this godforsaken world. I would become the greatest master the world of Pokemon would ever see.   read

10:11 AM on 06.27.2010

Assorted Randomness on Sunday [definitely NVGR]

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, just feels like writing today. Also, cocks.]

I guess I'll start with something that has been bothering me for a couple days now. I have a bit of an axe to grind with Apple. The new iPhone 4 was released this past Thursday to great anticipation. As expected it sold gangbusters. However, it did not take long for users to start reporting problems, some of which are pretty serious in my view. The first complaint was yellow spots on the screens. From what I hear, this isn't an issue anymore. Something about the glue used on the glass not being dry yet. Still that seems like something you would want to make sure of before you ship it.

The bigger problem seems to be the antenna on the phone causing signal problems. In the iPhone 4 it seems that the antenna is incorporated into the case design. Steve Jobs called it "brilliant design" during the annual Apple conference, and some have called it a "work of genius." Now I have been considering getting a smartphone for a little while now. When it comes to things like this I like to do a little research. I have never been a fan of Apple (I have never owned an iAnything and I'm really not a fan of closed systems, no matter the benefits), but it is impossible to ignore the success the iPhone has had in the market. As it seems to be the phone to beat, it made sense that I look into it when deciding on one.

I was not about to go out and get a 3GS though. No, I decided to wait until Jobs unveiled the newest edition, and see what the launch brought. In the case of the iPhone 4 it seems it brought problems. From what I hear this is somewhat typical, and the problems are usually ironed out in short order, so I wasn't really ready to discredit them yet. Then I heard Apple's response to the problems.

It seems that if you hold the phone a certain way, you bridge the gap between two antennas and lose signal. In my mind, that is a serious design flaw and also a deal breaking issue. Of all the things I could possibly want a phone to do, it would be to make calls when I need it to. I don't care if it cures cancer or brings peace to the middle east, I want my phone to be able to make calls first and foremost. You can ask my last phone, which due to failing me when I needed to call for a tow truck, now lays crushed into dust somewhere on I-95.

Now when reports started coming in of issues with the phone dropping calls and losing signal, Apple was quick to respond. Wait, let me get this strait, your response is basically to tell the consumer to not hold it that way. WHAT! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! Seriously, I don't care how good the design looks, if it can not do the one thing it was primarily meant to do then it is bad design. And your other suggestion, "buy a case," NO, I shouldn't have to. Good design means that it does what it is supposed to no matter what conditions it is put under. I want to be able to do anything short of firing it out of a cannon and still make calls, not to be crippled because I like to hold it a certain way, and I most certainly should not be required to buy another product so that your previous one works. It doesn't work like that.

Form DOES NOT trump function.

Part of this may be my background. I want to be an engineer. I am currently interning at a plant where the manufacture jet engine parts. When we design something it has to work. There can be no mistakes because peoples lives are at stake. We work under the strictest quality regulations in the aerospace industry and shit like the iPhone 4 launch literally does not fly. Also, you can't just shrug off mistakes like that and pass it off on others. If you mess up and people get hurt you as the engineer are not only liable, but can be incarcerated for it. I realize that this is not quite as serious as jet engines, but when you pass good form off as good design, I at least will dismiss you without second thought.

I'm glad that I decided to watch the iPhone 4 launch before deciding. I don't know how they play on fixing it if at all or if more problems have popped up since I last checked Friday, but I can now say regardless, I won't be getting an iPhone. As a side not, since the launch I have been getting really spotty connection on AT&T. Just a thought. That's enough venting for now.

Speaking of axes and grinding, NEW GUITAR GET!

Look at that, my God is it a good looking piece of musical equipment. It is a '97 Gibson SG. I've been slacking recently when it comes to practicing guitar because of all the other stuff going on in life and I was looking for a reason to get back into it. I am proud to announce that I found it. One of my co-workers brought it in Friday and was selling it for $400. That was a great price for this guitar, and it is in absolutely great shape. I have been playing the hell out of it since I got off work Friday at just about every opportunity I get.

I also, saw Toy Story 3 with a friend of mine. My opinion, go see it. I love Pixar's stories because of the way that they can appeal to everyone. While Toy Story 3 is in my view a more child focused affair, there are plenty of mature themes and references that older viewers will be able to enjoy. Pixar has definitely managed to keep their imaginations in tact for this. It really doesn't disappoint and there were a couple times where the movie really talks to the viewer. It even has a Stevil reference.

Speaking of said friend, after the movie, she and I ended up having a few drinks together. Nothing substantial, just had to finish up the last quarter of a bottle of rum before my parents get back from their cruise, barely enough to get tipsy. Long story short we ended up in my bed and we talked until near daybreak. It was really enjoyable actually. We ended up falling asleep together until sunrise. Now I'm a bit confused, and I don't know exactly where that puts us. Making things more complicated is the fact that she is fleeing the country in less than two months, which means either one of two things. She found out about the others, or she is serious about that foreign exchange thing she was talking about. Regardless, seems like I'm just going to have to go with it and see where it leads, if anywhere.

The A/C at my house is broken. This sucks. It is the middle of a humid Florida summer here and the thermostat is reporting a temperature of 84 degrees inside my house. Fortunately for me, I have a window mounted A/C in my room. Not so lucky for my siblings.

Lately, I have had a couple of new bands pounding around the inside of my skull. Some of them are Arcade Fire (and one more), Beirut (and another, ok, I'm done), and Fleet Foxes, whose name I love.

I really enjoyed the Jimquisition. It seems like something I could really get into. I like the Sundays with Sagat feature and hope that continues, but this seems like something more serious that would make a good substitute for Rev Rants. Also, sunglasses.   read

8:17 PM on 06.24.2010

So I Sold My Wii

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he found a blog title that summons Nintendo fanboys, pray he can placate them. Also, cocks.]

WAIT! Don't hurt me.

Those of you who pay attention to my occasional ramblings may remember that I was quite enamored with Nintendo's press conference at E3 this year. This raises the question, why would I sell my Wii? If Nintendo did so well at E3 it would seem contradictory to sell the console that would allow me to play any of the marvelous games Nintendo announced during the event. Was I crazy? Probably, but that is beside the point. What happens if you give a mouse a cookie? Am I a terrible person? If well endowed women work at Hooters, do one legged people work at IHOP? Does that last question answer the one before it? Is Xzyliac a girl? Are any of the questions relevant?

I don't know about any of that stuff up there, but I do know that I recently sold my Wii. Gamestop had a thing going on where if you traded in a game console you got an extra $25 store credit. The trade in value for a Wii is $70 store credit, so with the promotion, I got $95 store credit for it. What did I put it all towards?


Confusing right.

Allow me to explain. I am now the proud owner of a brand new black Wii. Your probably thinking that a new Wii system costs $200 dollars, and you would be correct. Now your probably wondering how I managed to get Gamestop to give me a good price on it, I didn't. Now your probably wondering if I am crazy enough to spend over $100 on a console color change. Yes and no.

The thing is my old Wii had a slight overheating problem. During intensive gameplay such as the challenge fights in Okami, or the fights in No More Heroes, and other such games, my Wii would overheat and shut itself down. This tended to happen during marathon gaming sessions, but when it was given a break every two hours or so it still performed admirably. Still I intend to do a lot of gaming on the Wii in the future if Nintendo's line up has anything to say about it. But I actually got more than just a dependable console in a sexy new color.

Nintendo has been adding value to the Wii console for about four years now. This means that when I got my new Wii not only did I get the console, but a number of extra goodies as well.

Hey look stuff:

Black Wiimote with nun-chuck and Wii motion plus

Sadly I had to trade in a controller with my console to get the credit so I didn't get an extra controller out of the deal, just a different colored one. I did however, get Wii motion plus, which I did not have before. I know it took me forever to get it.

Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort

I already had Wii Sports, so now I have 2 copies, but I did get Wii Sports Resort, which I didn't have before. If you buy Wii Sports Resort, it comes with Wii Motion Plus for $50, that helped to justify the purchase a bit. But that isn't all.

Wii condoms

In case those girls over there want to play with my Wii. You can never be too safe. I didn't have any of these before either and the console came with two, one for my new black Wiimote with Wii Motion Plus, and another one for the Wiimote that isn't "enhanced" with Wii Motion "Plus" (the innuendo is palpable). They usually cost about $10 each so got a bit of value out of those too.

Twist ties

Any one who has ever set up a home theater system knows how absolutely indispensable these are. They are the greatest invention ever for holding wires together. This really helps with the sensor bar, which Nintendo decided to make like 30 feet long for no apparent reason. The value of these? Priceless.


Good golly. Nintendo must really want you to know about their stuff. This all probably weighed more than the console did. What it's worth? The power of knowledge.

This thing

What is it? Is it some type of Wii augmentation device that allows the Wii to play HD? Does it solve world hunger? For now I am not going to mess with it for fear of causing the sun's implosion or some other like catastrophe. I had one of these before but I don't know what I did with it, I pray that it has not fallen into evil hands. In fact I think I have an idea for the next Uncharted.

So yeah, I got a sexy new black Wii that looks much better in my entertainment system with no overheating problems as of yet for around $30 if you take out my credit for my old one and add the stuff that I got with my new one. Not a bad deal in my view, plus I managed to keep the Nintendo fans from flaying me, I hope.

Only jerks would point out that SteezyXL kind of beat me to this, but damn it I already had the pictures taken. Also, bleh two picture heavy blogs in a row. Feels like I'm sacking. Still got a bunch of ideas for blogs buzzing around my head like angry electric razors because of E3. I will redeem myself.   read

11:29 PM on 06.20.2010

Something About E3: A Blog in 56119+ Words

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he has a nerd boner big enough to club an elephant to death right now. Also, scary title huh? Also also, cocks.]

What, you thought these were done? So yeah, E3 is a thing that happened recently, and more recently ended. It was great wasn't it? I wouldn't know, I missed it. All of it. While you were all reveling in the glory that is E3 I was working overtime trying to ship aerospace parts to a rather displeased group of Rolls Royce and Pratt & Whitney manufacturers, taking summer classes, cooking dinner, and trying to get enough sleep to rinse and repeat for four days strait. Long story short life is a heartless bitch sometimes and I have not been able to get any news coming out of E3 until Friday, when it was over. But times are good now. I just recently finished watching the press conferences for the big three and am now ready to spew my opinions so vehemently as to put an ignorant, drunken, sorority pledge to shame.

What does this mean for those of you reading this, other than the fact that the warning in my disclaimer is very real? It means that you get to relive the hype (and crushing disappointment) of E3 all over again, unabashedly and without that overrated temperance like reason, hindsight, or comprehension everyone seems to like. Onward to the hype!

Note: Doesn't include the Kinect Conference, my dvr fuffed up and I didn't get to see it.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

I am a little confused. For some reason this just looked ugly and unimpressive to me. That whole part where they were going through the tunnel just left me completely underwhelmed. The Hind was cool but ultimately this left me with less hype than I had before I saw it. Where is the hype I was expecting?

Call of Duty Map Pack Timed Release

So yeah, that happened. Something tells me this would be more important to me if Black Ops hadn't just failed to impress me and I didn't know that now Kotic has not only been vindicated, but he is wiping his ass with a large pile of exclusive money.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising

THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Very much looking forward to this now. So that's where the hype went.

All exclusive stuff now. Persuade me to get a 360 Microsoft.
Gears 3

That was cool. Gears hasn't been able to interest me since I lost my 360 and this didn't convince me to go and get a new one, but good show none the less. Also, four player co-op is cool, but I still want to know what happened to split screen, that is a blog for another time. Also, there's a thing called beast mode that I'm not important enough to see. I'm a bit burned out on Sci-fi shooters at the moment, so I'm not that excited for Gears, Reach, or Killzone 3 for that matter.

Peter Molyneux, I mean Fable 3

Fable is a game that never really interested me. Always a overblown in my opinion, I always thought there were better RPG alternatives out there, most of which are multiplatform.


Cool. Will get more excited when I see gameplay.

Halo: Reach

Woah. That was really impressive. Some of you may remember that I had fallen out of love with Halo, but this demo was amazing.

Kinect stuff

Wait, didn't Microsoft already dedicate an entire show to this? Why is it here?

ESPN on 360

Sure why not.

More Kinect Stuff (Wii spo- Kinect Sports, Kinectimals, Kinect Adventures, etc.)

The picture pretty much nails it.

Wii Fi- I mean, Your Shape: Fitness Evolved

This is why I have a gym membership. Pass

Dance Central

Cool looking, but I can Waltz and Tango, so I tend to stick to those.

Star Wars Game

Me: Alright, I'm up, I'm up.

Forza With Kinect

I don't really like racing games that much. Adding Kinect doesn't help.

New 360

Wait, Microsoft let Sony develop a console for them? I have definitely seen this somewhere before. Still, it is a sexy machine, no doubt about it. It fixes a lot of problems I have seen with the 360, especially the built in Wi-Fi (it's about time). Didn't hear anything about removable hard drive, but hopefully this will cure the Red Ring stigma for them.

All in all I thought Microsoft's press briefing was a little underwhelming. In the end it didn't make me want to go out and replace my 360 again, even if it is sexy now. It started off cool with some good games, but got boring fast when they stared talking about Kinect, which I still haven't seen a price for. I've seen rumors of $150, but for that much for the games they showed me I have this to say.


Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Feels like what they wanted Twilight Princess to really be. It was a little buggy, but the release isn't for a while so they have plenty of time to stomp those out. I probably would have started with a more tested title, but still good to see this.

Mario Sports Mix

Mario Sports game, sure.

Wii Party

More fodder for Kinect, a little nervous at this point. Please don't do what you did last year Nintendo.

Just Dance 2

Genuinely worried now.

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
Regie: "Golden Sun is a game we talked about last year at E3... You haven't heard or seen a lot since then."

Gee, you think. Try NOTHING, and I've been looking. For real when it was announced last year at E3 it was the one slightly redeeming moment from Nintendo's press conference. Then they just stopped talking about it. COMPLETELY.

Well, now that that little tyraid is over, it's all good, they have videos and gameplay that make me all kinds of happy.

End of fangirl rant.

Golden Eye 007

So thats where the splitscreen I was talking about with Gears might go.

Epic Micky

Really interested in this, not quite sold yet but really following it.


I AM CONFUSED AND AROUSED. This may very well be my game of the conference, and maybe even E3. I don't care how much it costs, I want it. This game makes me happy in ways I find hard to describe.

Metroid: Other M

I am looking forward to this with a little skepticism. Nintendo is trusting 3rd party developer to help them with one of their most beloved franchises. I am really curious about how it is going to turn out, but also just a tiny bit worried. Here's hoping they arn't riding the series to its doom.

Donkey Kong Country Returns

Love you Nintendo


I WANT THIS. That really sums it up. The color of the one they showed looked ugly to me but I am sure it will come in other colors. Also, GOOD GOD is that a lot of support. Only problem is I am going to have to stop myself from getting Golden Sun: Dark Dawn until after the launch of the 3DS.

Kid Icarus

Too... much... happy...

From there, they bring out a bunch of women chained to sexy technology in what will probably be one of the biggest mistakes E3 will ever see. Kidnapping and trade secret theft, awesome.

I loved this conference and I think Nintendo had the most impressive showing this E3 hands down.

After it was over they made me feel like this like this.

This calls for a photoshop.

And some music.


Before we begin, I would like to address the talking parts of Sony's conference. They did a lot of talking in between games and announcements but the generally managed to hold my attention for the most part. It was clear to me that they really knew how to speak and were well rehearsed. In regards to that, here is this.

On to the games
Killzone 3

It was very pretty and I have no doubt it is going to be a solid shooter, but as I said already I am getting a little burned out on sci-fi shooters. I enjoyed 2, and I think the way the matches changed objectives in the multiplayer was great, but there is only so much unfocused bad guy shooting I can take before I grow tired of it. Also, it was in 3D... which I couldn't see so I felt a little bit like I was missing something.

Some games coming out in 3D

Hooray I guess. Don't have a 3D T.V. but will almost definitely end up getting one somewhere down the line. Right now I'm quite happy with my 46' Bravia.

Sorcery & Move

As a game it really isn't my cup of tea, but it shows the potential of use in a game as something other than a novelty.

Tiger Woods 11

Every time I play golf, I feel like I'd be better at boxing. Every time I drive I have a really strong right hook. Also, the miss on the first swing was kind of humorous.

Heroes on the Move

Character Whoring. A motion game staple.

Kevin Butler speech

Got a little chuckle out of it.

Move pricing
Not too terrible. I'm not sold on it so I plan on sitting on it for now. Patching it into older titles was a good move.

Marcus PSP commercials

Looks like Sony's marketing team finally got their mess together. Should get back to the games though, I'm starting to lose focus.

More PSP Games

Feels good man.

More talking, this time about home and replicating the Sony booth, see above impression. I didn't make it to Home but it was a cool thing to do.

LITTLE BIG PLANET 2!!!!!!!!!!!

I am ridiculously excited for this game. I loved the first one more than any other game this gen. This takes everything that was amazing and multiplies it exponentially. This competes with Kirby's Epic Yarn for game of the conference for me. I could talk so much more, but I plan on writing a separate blog all together for it so there's that. As if to spite my years studying writing, this game refuses to allow words to accurately describe my love for it or how excited I am.

Play Station Plus

It seems like they added some cool features with more to come, I need to see more though. I think it was a really smart move to offer three months free, that will make the decision easier.

Medal of Honor

"Unlockable Beards" SOLD. Seriously, with multiplayer by dice it seems like there are plenty of alternatives to Call of Duty nowadays. This is a good thing.

Dead Space 2

Yeah, that is sweet. This is one of my favorite game franchises EA has and this one looks great. Dead Space Extraction special edition is something that makes me more curious about move.

As a side note, so that's where Sony exclusive money was going. I was starting to get curious. It also explains the whole Dante's Inferno speical edition. Money well spent in my opinion.

Portal 2

Well this is a pleasant surprise, though not unexpected in my opinion, Sony has been doing really well lately. More teleporting goodness, hooray. Steamworks is also a huge announcement as well, but I haven't been able to think about just how much yet. Also VP of Sharpening Things, ha.

Final Fantasy XIV

I am about to fail several upcoming semesters. Seriously, it is me and Final Fantasy, you judge.

Mafia II

Cool, but I'm not too excited about this.

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood

Sweet. Also, yet more exclusives.

Jeez, they still aren't done?

Gran Turismo 5

That is a very pretty game. Still, not really into racing, so really a moot point for me. It's about time it got a solid release though.

Infamous 2

Not really a surprise, but I'm still excited and the trailer was good. A little confused on the character redesign though. Same cat as above, and still appropriate.

Twisted Metal

Wait but you said... Oh well, still looks fun.

That does it for Sony's conference. All in all, a really good show. Started off a little slowly, but once they got to the games they reminded me why I like them so much. Got a bunch of cool exclusives to look forward to in addition to 3D, Move, and Play Station Plus. We'll see how it all plays out.

What? You want a video now too? Alright, only because I love you.

FIN.   read

9:13 PM on 06.08.2010

A Response to "The Stigma Surrounding 'Gamers'"

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, some serious analysis is about to go down. Also, cocks.]

Okay, so here is the story. As you may be able to infer by the title, this originally started as a comment on Kinjiro's blog about why gamers are depicted the way they are and what can be done about it. It is very well written and offers very good analysis. If you missed it I recommend reading it first. What is below is the comment I was writing, slightly altered and edited, when I realized it was about to be blog length, so with little further ado.


I have no doubt that the depiction of gamers does not match the actual accepted definition. The definition makes no reference to any of the negative stereotypes that the mainstream media or non-gamers associate with our group, just as Kinjiro points out. He gives one of the most apt descriptions of gamers as a group I have heard, describing a fairly tight knit group from every corner from the spectrum, with a variety of other interests, and varying levels of intelligence. Now if your saying that that is really vague, well yes, there is a reason for that. This describes just about any group with a shared passion. Just as you have foodies, or movie buffs, or sports fans, groups are rarely defined in such specific terms. The exception to this may be the group as a whole identifying a special subset within itself, such as cosplayers or tabletop gamers for gaming. The fact remains that if you look at the group on a macro rather than micro level, gamers are no more distinct or definable than the definition we are given in the dictionary or any other group of enthusiasts.

This is from the Forbes website by the way, and it was titled gamer_1. That seems like a better depiction to me.

Despite this, there are always going to be outliers and those that take it too far, and without fail, that is what the media will recognize, as it sensationalizes an otherwise perfectly normal, perhaps even above average, group. What most non-gamers imagine gamers to be stems from these outliers simply because they are the exceptions to the rule, or the most visible. Everyone else is a perfectly reasonable human being, which makes them less visible. This raises a question though. These outliers exist in other groups just as much as they do in the gaming community, so why are we the ones depicted negatively? While Kinjiro examines the roots of gaming as a way to analyze this stigma, I am inclined to take a different approach. Gaming is essentially an addition to the foundations of media as much as books, movies, and music are. We are also the newest and have yet to establish ourselves. We also tend to be a fairly vocal group, at times to our own detriment. As such the media is going to examine gaming as it evolves and follow it until it's full mainstream acceptance. When the media does this, it is the most vocal group, the outliers, that will make themselves recognized. Also, people as a general rule tend to debase anything that goes against previously established norms.

As for presence in the mainstream, I agree with Kinjiro that what is out there is no where near enough to cover how large a group gamers are nor how fast it is growing. I do, however, believe that they are getting better about it. The Penny Arcade Expo is perhaps the most visible event in the video game industry outside of E3. It accurately depicts what gamers are as a group and a culture. It has also banned booth babes that are ignorant of what they are advertising and show too much skin. The fact that this was instituted by the vote of the gaming culture as a whole speaks well for us as a group as well. It has not however banned cosplay, which is a part of the culture and deserves it's place, and in my opinion deserves to be seen as such by the rest of society. There is no reason to censure what we are in order to be more appealing to the mainstream, and in fact I am very much against the idea. As for other chances to expose ourselves unabashedly, E3 has also begun to implement such rules but to a lesser extent.

Not related but you deserve a bread and this is awesome.

I have to say that I have to agree with Kinjiro's views on magazines when it comes to educating the uniformed about gaming. Magazines are generally filled with technical and focused articles, the kind that people that are not already knowledgeable will not understand. This is because magazines by nature are specialized. The bigger issue with magazines is that people subscribe to their interests, and if gaming is not an interest they won't subscribe, simple as that. I do want to give more credit to the internet though, mostly because of sites like Destructoid. Here you can find what the gaming community really is. Sure some of it may be technical but at least here it allows the gamers tho show that they have other interests than just gaming and are able to have intelligent and reasonable debate. If your have read this far down, you likely already know what I mean so I will spare you further analysis and move on.

It is true that gaming as a hobby and a culture is still very much in it's early stages. I would argue that this is the best part about being a part of it right now. Right now we are seeing the greatest expansion of gaming there has ever been and it had advanced as a medium at a rate far outpacing any other medium in history except perhaps the spoken word. Games are constantly pushing boundaries, while still remaining accessible to those who are curious about it, and more so now than ever.

So what is it that we can do? The best answer I can come up with is exactly what you are doing on this site, participating. Be a part of it, show those who don't understand what being a gamer really is. Keep playing, enjoying, and talking about games and don't stop no matter how anyone else views or depicts you. In time the truth will come out and the people who don't know will learn. And what is the best thing we as a group can do when that happens? Greet them with open arms.

5:32 PM on 06.01.2010

I'm a Stupid American Redneck

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he fears for the fate of humanity. Also, cocks.]

Gather round children, Enkido is going to share with you a moment of anonymous random stupidity he came across online the other day.

Now, when I say I found ignorance and stupidity in an online multiplayer game I can already feel many of you rolling your eyes and congratulating me on finding a grain of sand in a desert but bear with me. My online game of choice lately has been MAG, an FPS that stresses teamwork and leadership. Now normally I have very few problems with this game, when I am not in a leadership role I follow orders well and if someone who is new to a position is in command I can usually convince them that I know what I am doing and point them in the right direction. When I am in command I like to think I am competent, despite what my peanut gallery says, and I can generally make a battle go in a direction I want.

Now a couple of days ago I get back from work and fire up the PS3 and start MAG up. I log in and go to deploy selecting directives, which places me in domination, the largest game type. Upon getting into the lobby, I found that I was to be the designated squad leader for my group. I also, found that we would be defending against S.V.E.R., which is a bit of a downer in domination as they generally, well, dominate. Anyway, three of the people apart from myself have mics, but none of them really talk, fine by me as long as they can tell me when I need to know something. Then the battle begins.

It starts normally, I call in mortar strikes and sensor shells to devastating effect and everyone is happily going about our business in the area our platoon is defending. We are able to keep our bunker up and hold the cooling tower, until our bunker is hit with a precision air strike, something I have no control over. Eventually we are pushed back until it is time to hold the main objectives. Every other squad has already had their defenses down for about five minutes by the time ours fall and we begin the final defense of the primary objectives. A couple of minutes pass when out of no where one of my squad members speaks up, asking a question. "Is our squad leader American?" What a peculiar question, I think to myself. I have been giving orders throughout the entire game through the mic in English, and I don't believe I have any kind of accent. What could possess him to ask such an out of place question? Regardless, I figured he was awaiting an answer and so I obliged him, informing him that indeed I was an American.

All of the sudden I receive a vote to kick from the squad. For those of you who don't know, MAG has a system in which a squad can vote to kick a squad member by majority vote. This can be done to remove team killers or incompetent leaders. One person initiates the vote and if after a certain amount of time the necessary number of votes are amassed the member is kicked. If the votes can not be gathered the player is not kicked and the vote can be resubmitted at a later time. So now we are in a game, with me as squad leader, with a vote to kick after informing a squad member that I am American.

Needless to say I was confused. I asked "why are you trying to kick me?" to which he responded, "come on guys kick him, he's a stupid American redneck." Wait, what?

As an aside, I need to learn the banjo.

Now, I am not going to say that Americans are the smartest bunch of people out there, but that fact is far from all inclusive, nor do I, as far as I know, sound like I would imagine a redneck to sound like. As for the conditions when he made the statement, we are twenty minutes into a domination game, and granted we are losing, but not by the fault of our squad. He garners no votes in his first round as everyone else happily follows my direction to great effect. He, however, will have none of it, again voting to kick me and reasserting my national and inbread background. I ignore him as he is getting none of the support of the rest of the squad. His persistence remains unshaken, and he spends the rest of the game slandering myself and vainly attempting to kick me.

In the end, though we were defeated, our squad was able to hold the final objectives for the entirety of the match, save one moment after which the enemy was immediately rebuffed. It was a minor defeat, and in checking the final stats I finished as company MVP, with 5 ribbons, and a huge amount of Exp. My little foreign friend did not do so hot, finishing second to last in our squad, yet still making off with a fair sum of Exp for himself. Still it was strange seeing how even though our squad was doing well, someone could say something so strange and out of place. I wasn't really angry so much as confused, especially seeing how well our squad and platoon was doing relative to the others. Anyway, I figured you guy might get a kick out that story and knowing that I am a stupid American redneck.

Bonus question:
Aside from gaming one of my interests is World Politics. I was thinking of maybe doing a blog like once a month or maybe every two weeks talking about the big events that are happening in our world. This stems from the fact that none of my friends have any idea about what is happening in the word. I was wondering where I could find intelligent people with whom I might be able to share my interest with. I have tried news sites, but honestly some of them contain more ignorance, bigotry, and general stupidity than some youtube video comments. Then I though, wait Destructoid has more than a few intelligent people, perhaps some of them might be able to entertain a spirited political discussion. What do you guys think? Is it more suited to the forums?   read

1:46 PM on 05.31.2010

Procrastiblog-Runs in the Family: Every Part of the Spectrum

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, we are as different as Tetris blocks. Also, cocks.]

When it comes to gaming, my family essentially covers every conceivable part of the spectrum. From none whatsoever, gaming is blasphemy, to hardcore gamer, games can be art, and everything in between, my family has it all covered. The best way to show how true this really is is to show you guys exactly what goes into my family, and explain where they all stand on the scale. So without further ado:


I was gonna put Jecht, but I'm not a failure.

As you may have guessed my dad is at the end of the spectrum that I described above as gaming is blasphemy. He believes that anything else a person could be doing other than playing games is time better spent. I have no fond memories of playing games with my dad in my early formative years as others do, but somehow gaming became a part of my families activities, somewhat to my dads chagrin. The extent of the influence he had on our gaming was caving in to my mom after my younger siblings and I had bothered her enough to buy a game. We would get systems for Christmas/Birthdays (fun fact: my siblings and I were all born in December), but the consoles were for us and never would my dad play with us. When I was in middle and high school, games were nothing but an unnecessary distraction and something that could be used as ransom for when I was grounded, a fairly frequent occurrence, for me anyway. My financial liberation from my parents has seen the purchase of both my PS3 and Wii as well as a healthy games collection, and while my dad never approved of my purchasing decisions, he does appreciate the the PS3 plays blu-ray, and as long as I am making headway in my classes he could care less how much I game while I'm away at college.


If you don't get the joke, forum more.

Ah yes, Meine Mutter, where to begin. She was the voice of reason to my dad and the one possessed of the political will that could bring my dad to support the children's gaming habit. She would be the one to go to during my early years to fulfill my gaming needs. Like my father, she was never into games herself, but stopped short of being critical of my gaming habits. During the early years she would never play with me but I never minded, as long as she was willing to facilitate my hobby she was cool with me. In recent years however she has become the stereotypical Wii mom. I'm sure a majority of you know what I am talking about, but for those who don't let us just say that she bought Wii fit, with the balance board and never used it. Fortunately, I was the one who bought the Wii and it is still appreciated, where I fear that my mom very well may have purchased a Wii to allow it to collect dust. Other than that she is happy that the PS3 can play blu-ray, music, and that she can get movies and shows off the PSN. Unfortunately, at the moment her only involvement in the gaming world is keeping me from playing after work while she watches Oprah and Criminal Minds.


The needle is for my Pulp Fiction style overdoses.

My sister is six years my junior and is the epitome of a casual gamer. Last I heard she was playing some kind of parking flash game online (/shudder). I have nothing against casual gamers, but just her taste in general perturbs me. She has so much to choose from but will not even entertain my suggestions. I am sure that if she tried Mario Galaxy she could be made into a respectable gamer yet, if only she were not so stubborn. For a recent example, recall that many people have decried the Sonic games for quite a while now. For a bit of retrospect, she holds Sonic Adventure Battle 2 to be the high water mark of gaming. I understand the sentiment "to each their own," but there are much better games in the Sonic series, as well as other games that have much better mechanics. Unfortunately she will hear none of it. I feel that if I could perhaps get a DS with some good games, it would be a nudge in the right direction that could finally make her see the light.

Only because if this is him, I get to be Snake, a condition that comes with an awesome mustache.

My brother is a bit of a mystery. I have a hard time placing him. For a very good example of our early gaming years see this from about the third paragraph down. Honestly, this really sums up my brother and I when gaming is involved. Well, I can't in good conscious leave it like that so I guess the rest lies in the details. Like I said, my brother is a bit of a gaming enigma. We used to play together a lot, but ever since I moved to college he kind of stopped playing, as far as I know completely. Since the second Xbox is where we drew the line on replacing them, and I own both the PS3 and Wii, there is no gaming system in our house until I descend to find work in my hometown during the summer. You would think that this makes my brother a non-gamer, as he never, as far as I know, plays except during the times when I am in town for any extended period of time.

He is by no means a non gamer though. When I do come home, it is like I never left. We go right to playing like we used to, most recently finishing all the co-op missions in Modern Warfare 2 on veteran together, a task we agreed to finish after starting it during my past visit. I can honestly say that since I have been back this summer he has played more than I have, his game of choice being my Fallout 3 GOTY edition. He gets out of school early every day and while I work full time and take classes, he plays. Some of you on my friends list may have noticed that I am on a lot playing Fallout. Well the truth is I have not played Fallout 3 once on my PS3 (not that it is a bad game, but I got it so one of my friends could play and I would just watch him). I know that it has caused confusion in the SSFIV ranbat that I am currently participating in as my opponents see that I am logged in and try to invite me to a match, only to be ignored by my brother. He can play for hours at a time and I have no doubt he will have earned me a platinum trophy for the game by the time the summer is over. Because of this I have no doubt that he is still very much a gamer.

Now for the sad part. My brother and I are walking very different paths. I am going to college to get a degree in Engineering and he is set on joining the military, more specifically the Marines. While I have nothing against the Marines or our armed forces, he has this romanticized idea of being a soldier and so he wants to be an infantryman. He has all the resources to be a great officer, but he is set on being a grunt. To be blunt, this scares the shit out of me. Also, it means that this may be the last time I get to see him for any great length of time for a very long time. With me in college and getting ready to move out permanently into my own place, even when I come back to visit he may not be there. Even the hobby we used to share may not be able to keep us together despite being able to play online as he doesn't have a PS3. Really all I can do is spend as much time as I can with him on some of the few commonalities that we still share and that is gaming.


Oh, that's what it is.

Well, if you read this far, you may have guessed from the spectrum that aside from the fact that I have gone nuclear, I am the hardcore gamer of my family. While I haven't been playing all my life, it became a large part of my life and continues to be my go to hobby. I know all about the upcoming games, get giddy when E3 comes around, and keep up with gaming news, as well as arguing and writing, on a certain game site (ha!). When it comes to gaming and my family I am the obsessed to my father, the supported by my mother, the messenger to my sister, and the partner to my brother. One thing is for sure though is that if I were ever to have a family, god forbid, gaming would be without a doubt be a part of it. Also, my kid is so going to put your kid in his place when Pokemon Lanthanum comes out (/futuretroll).

Bonus fun fact: Were you to average the dates of my sibling's as well as my own birthdays and subtract nine months it curiously puts you a mere day after St.Patrics Day. Make of that what you will.   read

12:36 PM on 05.22.2010

Valkyria Chrontest Winner

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, the insanity has subsided and a champion has been chosen. Also, cocks.]

For the last week I have been running a little contest on this site that gave the Destructoid community the opportunity to win my copy of Valkyria Chronicles. Well the contest has been completed and the weak (or less lucky) have been weeded out and only one has been left standing. Let it be known that the competition was fierce due to my selection system, which is completely objective and involves boxing kangaroos. So now I guess you really want to know who won, huh? Who was able to brave the internet on their quest for the answers. Well without further ado, the winner is...

[big letters][eye catching color]Lazerpig[/eye catching color][/big letters]

Congratulations sir, on your new game, PM me and upon first opportunity, I shall expedite your spoils you you.

For those of you who entered but were not fortunate enough to win I would like to offer this consolation prize.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Also, as evidenced by the kangaroos, I still have those marsupials.   read

8:57 PM on 05.19.2010

Contest Update: Who Wants to Win Valkyria Chronicles?

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, you have like two days left. Also, cocks.]

I am sure that you all know by now that I am having a little contest which will allow you, fine member of the Destructoid community that you are, the opportunity to win my copy of Valkyria Chronicles for PS3. All you have to do is PM me the answer to three little questions and you too could be on your way to a free game. Details and questions can be found here.

Now you may be wondering how heated this contest may be. Well as you can imagine it has been extremely popular. I'll just say that all current entrant have a 100% chance of victory as it stands now. If you care to split that up a bit more, who knows, you may just be able to wrangle away 50% of that chance, but to do that you have to enter. Look at him, mocking you, so sure of his victory. You have until whenever the hell I wake up Saturday morning and check my inbox to enter, and I live on the east coast so don't procrastinate. So what are you waiting for, do you not enjoy free games?

Also, Destructoid still needs a contest tag, unless I am really missing something.   read

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