hot  /  reviews  /  video  /  blogs  /  forum

FRESH MEAT  
|   FROM OUR COMMUNITY BLOGS

Enkido's blog


11:29 PM on 06.20.2010

Something About E3: A Blog in 56119+ Words

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he has a nerd boner big enough to club an elephant to death right now. Also, scary title huh? Also also, cocks.]

What, you thought these were done? So yeah, E3 is a thing that happened recently, and more recently ended. It was great wasn't it? I wouldn't know, I missed it. All of it. While you were all reveling in the glory that is E3 I was working overtime trying to ship aerospace parts to a rather displeased group of Rolls Royce and Pratt & Whitney manufacturers, taking summer classes, cooking dinner, and trying to get enough sleep to rinse and repeat for four days strait. Long story short life is a heartless bitch sometimes and I have not been able to get any news coming out of E3 until Friday, when it was over. But times are good now. I just recently finished watching the press conferences for the big three and am now ready to spew my opinions so vehemently as to put an ignorant, drunken, sorority pledge to shame.

What does this mean for those of you reading this, other than the fact that the warning in my disclaimer is very real? It means that you get to relive the hype (and crushing disappointment) of E3 all over again, unabashedly and without that overrated temperance like reason, hindsight, or comprehension everyone seems to like. Onward to the hype!

Microsoft
Note: Doesn't include the Kinect Conference, my dvr fuffed up and I didn't get to see it.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

I am a little confused. For some reason this just looked ugly and unimpressive to me. That whole part where they were going through the tunnel just left me completely underwhelmed. The Hind was cool but ultimately this left me with less hype than I had before I saw it. Where is the hype I was expecting?

Call of Duty Map Pack Timed Release

So yeah, that happened. Something tells me this would be more important to me if Black Ops hadn't just failed to impress me and I didn't know that now Kotic has not only been vindicated, but he is wiping his ass with a large pile of exclusive money.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising

THAT WAS AWESOME!!! Very much looking forward to this now. So that's where the hype went.

All exclusive stuff now. Persuade me to get a 360 Microsoft.
Gears 3

That was cool. Gears hasn't been able to interest me since I lost my 360 and this didn't convince me to go and get a new one, but good show none the less. Also, four player co-op is cool, but I still want to know what happened to split screen, that is a blog for another time. Also, there's a thing called beast mode that I'm not important enough to see. I'm a bit burned out on Sci-fi shooters at the moment, so I'm not that excited for Gears, Reach, or Killzone 3 for that matter.

Peter Molyneux, I mean Fable 3

Fable is a game that never really interested me. Always a overblown in my opinion, I always thought there were better RPG alternatives out there, most of which are multiplatform.

Kingdoms?

Cool. Will get more excited when I see gameplay.

Halo: Reach

Woah. That was really impressive. Some of you may remember that I had fallen out of love with Halo, but this demo was amazing.

Kinect stuff

Wait, didn't Microsoft already dedicate an entire show to this? Why is it here?



ESPN on 360

Sure why not.

More Kinect Stuff (Wii spo- Kinect Sports, Kinectimals, Kinect Adventures, etc.)

The picture pretty much nails it.

Wii Fi- I mean, Your Shape: Fitness Evolved

This is why I have a gym membership. Pass

Dance Central

Cool looking, but I can Waltz and Tango, so I tend to stick to those.

Star Wars Game

Microsoft: PAY ATTENTION DAMN IT!
Me: Alright, I'm up, I'm up.

Forza With Kinect

I don't really like racing games that much. Adding Kinect doesn't help.

New 360

Wait, Microsoft let Sony develop a console for them? I have definitely seen this somewhere before. Still, it is a sexy machine, no doubt about it. It fixes a lot of problems I have seen with the 360, especially the built in Wi-Fi (it's about time). Didn't hear anything about removable hard drive, but hopefully this will cure the Red Ring stigma for them.

All in all I thought Microsoft's press briefing was a little underwhelming. In the end it didn't make me want to go out and replace my 360 again, even if it is sexy now. It started off cool with some good games, but got boring fast when they stared talking about Kinect, which I still haven't seen a price for. I've seen rumors of $150, but for that much for the games they showed me I have this to say.
[embed]177098:30929[/embed]

Nintendo

Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Feels like what they wanted Twilight Princess to really be. It was a little buggy, but the release isn't for a while so they have plenty of time to stomp those out. I probably would have started with a more tested title, but still good to see this.

Mario Sports Mix

Mario Sports game, sure.

Wii Party

More fodder for Kinect, a little nervous at this point. Please don't do what you did last year Nintendo.

Just Dance 2

Genuinely worried now.

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
Regie: "Golden Sun is a game we talked about last year at E3... You haven't heard or seen a lot since then."

Gee, you think. Try NOTHING, and I've been looking. For real when it was announced last year at E3 it was the one slightly redeeming moment from Nintendo's press conference. Then they just stopped talking about it. COMPLETELY.

Well, now that that little tyraid is over, it's all good, they have videos and gameplay that make me all kinds of happy.


End of fangirl rant.

Golden Eye 007

So thats where the splitscreen I was talking about with Gears might go.

Epic Micky

Really interested in this, not quite sold yet but really following it.

KIRBY'S EPIC YARN!!!

I AM CONFUSED AND AROUSED. This may very well be my game of the conference, and maybe even E3. I don't care how much it costs, I want it. This game makes me happy in ways I find hard to describe.

Metroid: Other M

I am looking forward to this with a little skepticism. Nintendo is trusting 3rd party developer to help them with one of their most beloved franchises. I am really curious about how it is going to turn out, but also just a tiny bit worried. Here's hoping they arn't riding the series to its doom.

Donkey Kong Country Returns

Love you Nintendo

3DS

I WANT THIS. That really sums it up. The color of the one they showed looked ugly to me but I am sure it will come in other colors. Also, GOOD GOD is that a lot of support. Only problem is I am going to have to stop myself from getting Golden Sun: Dark Dawn until after the launch of the 3DS.

Kid Icarus

Too... much... happy...

From there, they bring out a bunch of women chained to sexy technology in what will probably be one of the biggest mistakes E3 will ever see. Kidnapping and trade secret theft, awesome.

I loved this conference and I think Nintendo had the most impressive showing this E3 hands down.

After it was over they made me feel like this like this.


This calls for a photoshop.

And some music.
[embed]177098:30930[/embed]

Sony

Before we begin, I would like to address the talking parts of Sony's conference. They did a lot of talking in between games and announcements but the generally managed to hold my attention for the most part. It was clear to me that they really knew how to speak and were well rehearsed. In regards to that, here is this.


On to the games
Killzone 3

It was very pretty and I have no doubt it is going to be a solid shooter, but as I said already I am getting a little burned out on sci-fi shooters. I enjoyed 2, and I think the way the matches changed objectives in the multiplayer was great, but there is only so much unfocused bad guy shooting I can take before I grow tired of it. Also, it was in 3D... which I couldn't see so I felt a little bit like I was missing something.

Some games coming out in 3D

Hooray I guess. Don't have a 3D T.V. but will almost definitely end up getting one somewhere down the line. Right now I'm quite happy with my 46' Bravia.

Sorcery & Move

As a game it really isn't my cup of tea, but it shows the potential of use in a game as something other than a novelty.

Tiger Woods 11

Every time I play golf, I feel like I'd be better at boxing. Every time I drive I have a really strong right hook. Also, the miss on the first swing was kind of humorous.

Heroes on the Move

Character Whoring. A motion game staple.

Kevin Butler speech

Got a little chuckle out of it.

Move pricing
Not too terrible. I'm not sold on it so I plan on sitting on it for now. Patching it into older titles was a good move.

Marcus PSP commercials

Looks like Sony's marketing team finally got their mess together. Should get back to the games though, I'm starting to lose focus.

More PSP Games

Feels good man.

More talking, this time about home and replicating the Sony booth, see above impression. I didn't make it to Home but it was a cool thing to do.

LITTLE BIG PLANET 2!!!!!!!!!!!

I am ridiculously excited for this game. I loved the first one more than any other game this gen. This takes everything that was amazing and multiplies it exponentially. This competes with Kirby's Epic Yarn for game of the conference for me. I could talk so much more, but I plan on writing a separate blog all together for it so there's that. As if to spite my years studying writing, this game refuses to allow words to accurately describe my love for it or how excited I am.

Play Station Plus

It seems like they added some cool features with more to come, I need to see more though. I think it was a really smart move to offer three months free, that will make the decision easier.

Medal of Honor

"Unlockable Beards" SOLD. Seriously, with multiplayer by dice it seems like there are plenty of alternatives to Call of Duty nowadays. This is a good thing.

Dead Space 2

Yeah, that is sweet. This is one of my favorite game franchises EA has and this one looks great. Dead Space Extraction special edition is something that makes me more curious about move.

As a side note, so that's where Sony exclusive money was going. I was starting to get curious. It also explains the whole Dante's Inferno speical edition. Money well spent in my opinion.

Portal 2

Well this is a pleasant surprise, though not unexpected in my opinion, Sony has been doing really well lately. More teleporting goodness, hooray. Steamworks is also a huge announcement as well, but I haven't been able to think about just how much yet. Also VP of Sharpening Things, ha.

Final Fantasy XIV

I am about to fail several upcoming semesters. Seriously, it is me and Final Fantasy, you judge.

Mafia II

Cool, but I'm not too excited about this.

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood

Sweet. Also, yet more exclusives.

Jeez, they still aren't done?

Gran Turismo 5

That is a very pretty game. Still, not really into racing, so really a moot point for me. It's about time it got a solid release though.

Infamous 2

Not really a surprise, but I'm still excited and the trailer was good. A little confused on the character redesign though. Same cat as above, and still appropriate.

Twisted Metal

Wait but you said... Oh well, still looks fun.

That does it for Sony's conference. All in all, a really good show. Started off a little slowly, but once they got to the games they reminded me why I like them so much. Got a bunch of cool exclusives to look forward to in addition to 3D, Move, and Play Station Plus. We'll see how it all plays out.

What? You want a video now too? Alright, only because I love you.
[embed]177098:30931[/embed]

FIN.   read


9:13 PM on 06.08.2010

A Response to "The Stigma Surrounding 'Gamers'"

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, some serious analysis is about to go down. Also, cocks.]

Okay, so here is the story. As you may be able to infer by the title, this originally started as a comment on Kinjiro's blog about why gamers are depicted the way they are and what can be done about it. It is very well written and offers very good analysis. If you missed it I recommend reading it first. What is below is the comment I was writing, slightly altered and edited, when I realized it was about to be blog length, so with little further ado.

[embed]175860:30472[/embed]

I have no doubt that the depiction of gamers does not match the actual accepted definition. The definition makes no reference to any of the negative stereotypes that the mainstream media or non-gamers associate with our group, just as Kinjiro points out. He gives one of the most apt descriptions of gamers as a group I have heard, describing a fairly tight knit group from every corner from the spectrum, with a variety of other interests, and varying levels of intelligence. Now if your saying that that is really vague, well yes, there is a reason for that. This describes just about any group with a shared passion. Just as you have foodies, or movie buffs, or sports fans, groups are rarely defined in such specific terms. The exception to this may be the group as a whole identifying a special subset within itself, such as cosplayers or tabletop gamers for gaming. The fact remains that if you look at the group on a macro rather than micro level, gamers are no more distinct or definable than the definition we are given in the dictionary or any other group of enthusiasts.


This is from the Forbes website by the way, and it was titled gamer_1. That seems like a better depiction to me.

Despite this, there are always going to be outliers and those that take it too far, and without fail, that is what the media will recognize, as it sensationalizes an otherwise perfectly normal, perhaps even above average, group. What most non-gamers imagine gamers to be stems from these outliers simply because they are the exceptions to the rule, or the most visible. Everyone else is a perfectly reasonable human being, which makes them less visible. This raises a question though. These outliers exist in other groups just as much as they do in the gaming community, so why are we the ones depicted negatively? While Kinjiro examines the roots of gaming as a way to analyze this stigma, I am inclined to take a different approach. Gaming is essentially an addition to the foundations of media as much as books, movies, and music are. We are also the newest and have yet to establish ourselves. We also tend to be a fairly vocal group, at times to our own detriment. As such the media is going to examine gaming as it evolves and follow it until it's full mainstream acceptance. When the media does this, it is the most vocal group, the outliers, that will make themselves recognized. Also, people as a general rule tend to debase anything that goes against previously established norms.

As for presence in the mainstream, I agree with Kinjiro that what is out there is no where near enough to cover how large a group gamers are nor how fast it is growing. I do, however, believe that they are getting better about it. The Penny Arcade Expo is perhaps the most visible event in the video game industry outside of E3. It accurately depicts what gamers are as a group and a culture. It has also banned booth babes that are ignorant of what they are advertising and show too much skin. The fact that this was instituted by the vote of the gaming culture as a whole speaks well for us as a group as well. It has not however banned cosplay, which is a part of the culture and deserves it's place, and in my opinion deserves to be seen as such by the rest of society. There is no reason to censure what we are in order to be more appealing to the mainstream, and in fact I am very much against the idea. As for other chances to expose ourselves unabashedly, E3 has also begun to implement such rules but to a lesser extent.


Not related but you deserve a bread and this is awesome.

I have to say that I have to agree with Kinjiro's views on magazines when it comes to educating the uniformed about gaming. Magazines are generally filled with technical and focused articles, the kind that people that are not already knowledgeable will not understand. This is because magazines by nature are specialized. The bigger issue with magazines is that people subscribe to their interests, and if gaming is not an interest they won't subscribe, simple as that. I do want to give more credit to the internet though, mostly because of sites like Destructoid. Here you can find what the gaming community really is. Sure some of it may be technical but at least here it allows the gamers tho show that they have other interests than just gaming and are able to have intelligent and reasonable debate. If your have read this far down, you likely already know what I mean so I will spare you further analysis and move on.

It is true that gaming as a hobby and a culture is still very much in it's early stages. I would argue that this is the best part about being a part of it right now. Right now we are seeing the greatest expansion of gaming there has ever been and it had advanced as a medium at a rate far outpacing any other medium in history except perhaps the spoken word. Games are constantly pushing boundaries, while still remaining accessible to those who are curious about it, and more so now than ever.

So what is it that we can do? The best answer I can come up with is exactly what you are doing on this site, participating. Be a part of it, show those who don't understand what being a gamer really is. Keep playing, enjoying, and talking about games and don't stop no matter how anyone else views or depicts you. In time the truth will come out and the people who don't know will learn. And what is the best thing we as a group can do when that happens? Greet them with open arms.
  read


5:32 PM on 06.01.2010

I'm a Stupid American Redneck

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he fears for the fate of humanity. Also, cocks.]

Gather round children, Enkido is going to share with you a moment of anonymous random stupidity he came across online the other day.



Now, when I say I found ignorance and stupidity in an online multiplayer game I can already feel many of you rolling your eyes and congratulating me on finding a grain of sand in a desert but bear with me. My online game of choice lately has been MAG, an FPS that stresses teamwork and leadership. Now normally I have very few problems with this game, when I am not in a leadership role I follow orders well and if someone who is new to a position is in command I can usually convince them that I know what I am doing and point them in the right direction. When I am in command I like to think I am competent, despite what my peanut gallery says, and I can generally make a battle go in a direction I want.

Now a couple of days ago I get back from work and fire up the PS3 and start MAG up. I log in and go to deploy selecting directives, which places me in domination, the largest game type. Upon getting into the lobby, I found that I was to be the designated squad leader for my group. I also, found that we would be defending against S.V.E.R., which is a bit of a downer in domination as they generally, well, dominate. Anyway, three of the people apart from myself have mics, but none of them really talk, fine by me as long as they can tell me when I need to know something. Then the battle begins.

It starts normally, I call in mortar strikes and sensor shells to devastating effect and everyone is happily going about our business in the area our platoon is defending. We are able to keep our bunker up and hold the cooling tower, until our bunker is hit with a precision air strike, something I have no control over. Eventually we are pushed back until it is time to hold the main objectives. Every other squad has already had their defenses down for about five minutes by the time ours fall and we begin the final defense of the primary objectives. A couple of minutes pass when out of no where one of my squad members speaks up, asking a question. "Is our squad leader American?" What a peculiar question, I think to myself. I have been giving orders throughout the entire game through the mic in English, and I don't believe I have any kind of accent. What could possess him to ask such an out of place question? Regardless, I figured he was awaiting an answer and so I obliged him, informing him that indeed I was an American.

All of the sudden I receive a vote to kick from the squad. For those of you who don't know, MAG has a system in which a squad can vote to kick a squad member by majority vote. This can be done to remove team killers or incompetent leaders. One person initiates the vote and if after a certain amount of time the necessary number of votes are amassed the member is kicked. If the votes can not be gathered the player is not kicked and the vote can be resubmitted at a later time. So now we are in a game, with me as squad leader, with a vote to kick after informing a squad member that I am American.

Needless to say I was confused. I asked "why are you trying to kick me?" to which he responded, "come on guys kick him, he's a stupid American redneck." Wait, what?

[embed]175191:30269[/embed]
As an aside, I need to learn the banjo.

Now, I am not going to say that Americans are the smartest bunch of people out there, but that fact is far from all inclusive, nor do I, as far as I know, sound like I would imagine a redneck to sound like. As for the conditions when he made the statement, we are twenty minutes into a domination game, and granted we are losing, but not by the fault of our squad. He garners no votes in his first round as everyone else happily follows my direction to great effect. He, however, will have none of it, again voting to kick me and reasserting my national and inbread background. I ignore him as he is getting none of the support of the rest of the squad. His persistence remains unshaken, and he spends the rest of the game slandering myself and vainly attempting to kick me.

In the end, though we were defeated, our squad was able to hold the final objectives for the entirety of the match, save one moment after which the enemy was immediately rebuffed. It was a minor defeat, and in checking the final stats I finished as company MVP, with 5 ribbons, and a huge amount of Exp. My little foreign friend did not do so hot, finishing second to last in our squad, yet still making off with a fair sum of Exp for himself. Still it was strange seeing how even though our squad was doing well, someone could say something so strange and out of place. I wasn't really angry so much as confused, especially seeing how well our squad and platoon was doing relative to the others. Anyway, I figured you guy might get a kick out that story and knowing that I am a stupid American redneck.

Bonus question:
Aside from gaming one of my interests is World Politics. I was thinking of maybe doing a blog like once a month or maybe every two weeks talking about the big events that are happening in our world. This stems from the fact that none of my friends have any idea about what is happening in the word. I was wondering where I could find intelligent people with whom I might be able to share my interest with. I have tried news sites, but honestly some of them contain more ignorance, bigotry, and general stupidity than some youtube video comments. Then I though, wait Destructoid has more than a few intelligent people, perhaps some of them might be able to entertain a spirited political discussion. What do you guys think? Is it more suited to the forums?   read


1:46 PM on 05.31.2010

Procrastiblog-Runs in the Family: Every Part of the Spectrum

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, we are as different as Tetris blocks. Also, cocks.]



When it comes to gaming, my family essentially covers every conceivable part of the spectrum. From none whatsoever, gaming is blasphemy, to hardcore gamer, games can be art, and everything in between, my family has it all covered. The best way to show how true this really is is to show you guys exactly what goes into my family, and explain where they all stand on the scale. So without further ado:

Pops

I was gonna put Jecht, but I'm not a failure.

As you may have guessed my dad is at the end of the spectrum that I described above as gaming is blasphemy. He believes that anything else a person could be doing other than playing games is time better spent. I have no fond memories of playing games with my dad in my early formative years as others do, but somehow gaming became a part of my families activities, somewhat to my dads chagrin. The extent of the influence he had on our gaming was caving in to my mom after my younger siblings and I had bothered her enough to buy a game. We would get systems for Christmas/Birthdays (fun fact: my siblings and I were all born in December), but the consoles were for us and never would my dad play with us. When I was in middle and high school, games were nothing but an unnecessary distraction and something that could be used as ransom for when I was grounded, a fairly frequent occurrence, for me anyway. My financial liberation from my parents has seen the purchase of both my PS3 and Wii as well as a healthy games collection, and while my dad never approved of my purchasing decisions, he does appreciate the the PS3 plays blu-ray, and as long as I am making headway in my classes he could care less how much I game while I'm away at college.

Momerator

If you don't get the joke, forum more.

Ah yes, Meine Mutter, where to begin. She was the voice of reason to my dad and the one possessed of the political will that could bring my dad to support the children's gaming habit. She would be the one to go to during my early years to fulfill my gaming needs. Like my father, she was never into games herself, but stopped short of being critical of my gaming habits. During the early years she would never play with me but I never minded, as long as she was willing to facilitate my hobby she was cool with me. In recent years however she has become the stereotypical Wii mom. I'm sure a majority of you know what I am talking about, but for those who don't let us just say that she bought Wii fit, with the balance board and never used it. Fortunately, I was the one who bought the Wii and it is still appreciated, where I fear that my mom very well may have purchased a Wii to allow it to collect dust. Other than that she is happy that the PS3 can play blu-ray, music, and that she can get movies and shows off the PSN. Unfortunately, at the moment her only involvement in the gaming world is keeping me from playing after work while she watches Oprah and Criminal Minds.

Sis

The needle is for my Pulp Fiction style overdoses.

My sister is six years my junior and is the epitome of a casual gamer. Last I heard she was playing some kind of parking flash game online (/shudder). I have nothing against casual gamers, but just her taste in general perturbs me. She has so much to choose from but will not even entertain my suggestions. I am sure that if she tried Mario Galaxy she could be made into a respectable gamer yet, if only she were not so stubborn. For a recent example, recall that many people have decried the Sonic games for quite a while now. For a bit of retrospect, she holds Sonic Adventure Battle 2 to be the high water mark of gaming. I understand the sentiment "to each their own," but there are much better games in the Sonic series, as well as other games that have much better mechanics. Unfortunately she will hear none of it. I feel that if I could perhaps get a DS with some good games, it would be a nudge in the right direction that could finally make her see the light.

BROTHER!
[embed]175070:30241[/embed]
Only because if this is him, I get to be Snake, a condition that comes with an awesome mustache.

My brother is a bit of a mystery. I have a hard time placing him. For a very good example of our early gaming years see this from about the third paragraph down. Honestly, this really sums up my brother and I when gaming is involved. Well, I can't in good conscious leave it like that so I guess the rest lies in the details. Like I said, my brother is a bit of a gaming enigma. We used to play together a lot, but ever since I moved to college he kind of stopped playing, as far as I know completely. Since the second Xbox is where we drew the line on replacing them, and I own both the PS3 and Wii, there is no gaming system in our house until I descend to find work in my hometown during the summer. You would think that this makes my brother a non-gamer, as he never, as far as I know, plays except during the times when I am in town for any extended period of time.

He is by no means a non gamer though. When I do come home, it is like I never left. We go right to playing like we used to, most recently finishing all the co-op missions in Modern Warfare 2 on veteran together, a task we agreed to finish after starting it during my past visit. I can honestly say that since I have been back this summer he has played more than I have, his game of choice being my Fallout 3 GOTY edition. He gets out of school early every day and while I work full time and take classes, he plays. Some of you on my friends list may have noticed that I am on a lot playing Fallout. Well the truth is I have not played Fallout 3 once on my PS3 (not that it is a bad game, but I got it so one of my friends could play and I would just watch him). I know that it has caused confusion in the SSFIV ranbat that I am currently participating in as my opponents see that I am logged in and try to invite me to a match, only to be ignored by my brother. He can play for hours at a time and I have no doubt he will have earned me a platinum trophy for the game by the time the summer is over. Because of this I have no doubt that he is still very much a gamer.

Now for the sad part. My brother and I are walking very different paths. I am going to college to get a degree in Engineering and he is set on joining the military, more specifically the Marines. While I have nothing against the Marines or our armed forces, he has this romanticized idea of being a soldier and so he wants to be an infantryman. He has all the resources to be a great officer, but he is set on being a grunt. To be blunt, this scares the shit out of me. Also, it means that this may be the last time I get to see him for any great length of time for a very long time. With me in college and getting ready to move out permanently into my own place, even when I come back to visit he may not be there. Even the hobby we used to share may not be able to keep us together despite being able to play online as he doesn't have a PS3. Really all I can do is spend as much time as I can with him on some of the few commonalities that we still share and that is gaming.

Iself

Oh, that's what it is.

Well, if you read this far, you may have guessed from the spectrum that aside from the fact that I have gone nuclear, I am the hardcore gamer of my family. While I haven't been playing all my life, it became a large part of my life and continues to be my go to hobby. I know all about the upcoming games, get giddy when E3 comes around, and keep up with gaming news, as well as arguing and writing, on a certain game site (ha!). When it comes to gaming and my family I am the obsessed to my father, the supported by my mother, the messenger to my sister, and the partner to my brother. One thing is for sure though is that if I were ever to have a family, god forbid, gaming would be without a doubt be a part of it. Also, my kid is so going to put your kid in his place when Pokemon Lanthanum comes out (/futuretroll).

Bonus fun fact: Were you to average the dates of my sibling's as well as my own birthdays and subtract nine months it curiously puts you a mere day after St.Patrics Day. Make of that what you will.   read


12:36 PM on 05.22.2010

Valkyria Chrontest Winner

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, the insanity has subsided and a champion has been chosen. Also, cocks.]

For the last week I have been running a little contest on this site that gave the Destructoid community the opportunity to win my copy of Valkyria Chronicles. Well the contest has been completed and the weak (or less lucky) have been weeded out and only one has been left standing. Let it be known that the competition was fierce due to my selection system, which is completely objective and involves boxing kangaroos. So now I guess you really want to know who won, huh? Who was able to brave the internet on their quest for the answers. Well without further ado, the winner is...


[big letters][eye catching color]Lazerpig[/eye catching color][/big letters]

Congratulations sir, on your new game, PM me and upon first opportunity, I shall expedite your spoils you you.

For those of you who entered but were not fortunate enough to win I would like to offer this consolation prize.


Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Also, as evidenced by the kangaroos, I still have those marsupials.   read


8:57 PM on 05.19.2010

Contest Update: Who Wants to Win Valkyria Chronicles?

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, you have like two days left. Also, cocks.]

I am sure that you all know by now that I am having a little contest which will allow you, fine member of the Destructoid community that you are, the opportunity to win my copy of Valkyria Chronicles for PS3. All you have to do is PM me the answer to three little questions and you too could be on your way to a free game. Details and questions can be found here.



Now you may be wondering how heated this contest may be. Well as you can imagine it has been extremely popular. I'll just say that all current entrant have a 100% chance of victory as it stands now. If you care to split that up a bit more, who knows, you may just be able to wrangle away 50% of that chance, but to do that you have to enter. Look at him, mocking you, so sure of his victory. You have until whenever the hell I wake up Saturday morning and check my inbox to enter, and I live on the east coast so don't procrastinate. So what are you waiting for, do you not enjoy free games?

Also, Destructoid still needs a contest tag, unless I am really missing something.   read


10:53 AM on 05.15.2010

A Very Valkyrian Contest Chronicle

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he is having a moment of extreme insanity, take advantage while you can. Also, cocks.]

So here is the deal Destructoid. Valkyria Chronicles is a game that I love very much. I believe that it is one of the best games on this or any other generation. In fact, if I were to really sit down and think about it, it may very well be a very big contender for my favorite game of all time. However, I also believe that this game did not sell nearly as well as it should have and thus many people are missing out in my opinion. So what was I to do? Well, I love this game and I love this community, and so in a spontaneous fit of insanity, I decided to share the love.



I am offering you, the Destructoid community, the chance to win my copy of Valkyria Chronicles. Now, I don't want this game going to just anyone who posts a comment, so I am going to have to make you jump through some hoops to earn a chance. I am going to ask 3 questions that are somewhat game related and you are going to have to put your internet sleuthing skills to the test. Private Message me your answers and I will put the names of the people who got the answers right in a drawing for the game. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT put the answers in a comment, as doing so will probably void the contest and make me as sad panda. Also, due to shipping and Handling, I am unfortunately going to have to limit this contest to my continent, so if you live anywhere other than North America, just know that I don't love you.

Questions:
1. The characters Vyse, Aika, and the Medic are all cameos from another game. I want you to tell me the name of the game that they are from as well as the real name of the Medic and her sisters. (Hint: The games share the same Chief Director)

2.Hans is a Porcavian and a special member of Squad 7. What is his rank according to Alicia? (Hint: Don't bother with Wikipedia)

3.Who reviewed Valkyria Chronicles on Destructoid and what score was it given? (Hint: Really?)

That's all you need to do. I would say you have until this coming Friday at midnight, when the realization that I am going to be working and taking classes for the entire summer, makes me a bitter person again. Just PM me the answers and if you get them right you will be one step closer to owning one of my favorite games.

It may be in bad form to throw this little contest and ask for something in return but there are a couple of things I would like to ask the winner of this contest, I'm selfish like that. This is one of my favorite games of all time I would like to know what you think of it. I should like it if you wrote a blog telling me your thoughts on the game. Does a chorus of angles come down singing an aria every time you put the game in your system. Cool, I want to know. Should the developers be doomed to burn in hellfire for all of eternity for creating such an abomination. I am afraid that we are going to have to fight to the death, but again, that is something I am going to want to know beforehand. I know that there is little I can do after I ship the game off, but if you receive another random package a couple months later filled with an assortment of angry marsupials and you didn't write a blog, well you had it coming. Also, if you haven't posted before, do an intro or at the very least introduce yourself at the beginning.

One other thing I might ask is that others do the same. I want to share this game with people who have not played it. I also believe that there is a very good chance that there is a game you feel the same way about. This may be a bit harder to swallow than writing a blog, and I will understand if you don't do it, but I would encourage you, or any one else, to do a contest like this as well. Not only will you be a cool person, but you will get to share a little bit of love for your favorite game with the community.

LEGAL STUFF:
Like I said, North America. Also, you kind of have to have a PS3 to play it, so if you don't have one feel free to curse my name from the highest mountain. Don't post answers in the comments and you have until Friday at midnight. You don't have to do the things I asked, but seeing as you are part of this community I know you are awesome and won't let me down. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, loss of motor function, back ache, restless leg syndrome, public intoxication, euphoria, waking up next to large hairy women, vomiting again, and death. Destructoid needs a contest tag.   read


2:33 PM on 05.09.2010

Why Games Don't Want a Citizen Kane

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he has been neglecting his blog. Also, cocks.]

So, anyone want to guess who just watched Citizen Kane for the first time recently? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. Well, with that cleared up I guess we can move on. I first would like to say that it is a good movie, maybe a bit overblown by the pedestal that it is placed upon, but still one worthy of great praise. I would also like to say that Video Games do not yet have a Citizen Kane. No wait come back, there is more I promise... Please... I have cake. Alright, now that the terms have been set, let us continue. I believe games do not have a Citizen Kane because we do not want one. Now, if you would be so kind as to allow me to dawn my Viking helmet and knee high socks(the anti-thesis to the scarf), I would be glad to explain why, in the ever popular list form.

1. Movie Games Are Terrible
Honestly, aside from the occasional "diamond(more like bronze) in the rough" movie games are terrible. Set to release on a strict deadline, usually the Tuesday before the release, just in time to ruin the plot for anyone foolish enough to buy it, they are generally nothing more than unpolished cash-ins. They exist to make a greater profit for the movie and are rarely examples of good design or judgment.

So why should we believe that any game based on Citizen Kane would be any better just because it is based on what many consider to be the best movie of ever? If anything I think any game sharing a plot with this movie would suffer, as I don't believe it would transfer well to a video game at all. Also, it seems like the decent movie games have all been of mediocre movies, and example being X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Terrible movie, decent game. Taking these two points into account, I would argue that a Citizen Kane game would be one of the greatest missteps in video game history, on par with Assassin's Creed or Final Fantasy XIII.



2. Published by Activision
That's right my friends. As Activision seems to have an unflinching monopoly on all things ill advised in the games industry, there is no doubt that they will be the ones publishing this monstrosity. Will they ever be in good form as well. All of the shenanigans we have come to know and love from Activision will be on display for this. To begin it will be announced and dated, only to be delayed a number of times due to quality issues. It will launch for all consoles including the 360, Wii, PS3, PS2, PC, PSP, DS, Super Nintendo, Colecovision, Super Famicom, N64, Gameboy(advanced and original), Dreamcast, NeoGeo, ect. When it releases, consumers will have the choice of either a 60GB download or a hard medium release that will consist of at least 2 blu-rays, 7DVD's, 32 cartridges, 73 cassette tapes, or 1,632,874,239 punch cards, depending on system of choice. It will have a slightly elevated price in all regions of at least the equivalent of $15 USD. It will also, upon launch, feature day one DLC that fills in the first 1/3 of the second half of the story for the low price of $20 USD.It will be discovered that the DRM will disallow the player to access the game on any system unless they sign their soul over to Activision and continue a series of hourly bloodletting rituals. All of this will be followed by the announcement of a sequel six months in the future.


Also expect Xanadu: Mansion Manager, Imagine News Paper Publisher, and Citizen Kane: Campaign Trail (with dysentery).

3. Advertising by EA
You may be thinking that EA and Activision are mortal enemies on the game publishing front and you would be correct. However, in this case Activision will no doubt realize the experience EA has with bastardizing a beloved entry into another medium as well as their immensely successful advertising of said bastardization. Thus they craft a mutually detrimental partnership that allows EA to promote the game. This will include the destruction of a protected wildlife habitat to build a scale replica of Xanadu, the bombing of a snow globe factory, and the nomination of a number of officials to run for public office in a faux presidential bid leading to an inevitable murder.


Wakizashi optional

5. Graphics
Citizen Kane was a black and white movie and in order to preserve the "gritty realism" of the game, will retain this same color palette. It will be so realistic as to render the HDTV and HDMI cables you bought useless by removing all vivid colors. The game will truly give titles with similar foundations in realism such as Gears of War and Killzone a run for their money, providing a grayscale these games can only dream of having.


LAME

6. Rating
The game will of course be rated M for Mature, due to its mature subject mater. This will immediately limit the user base, including eliminating any prospects in Australia, but perhaps what is more frightening is their reasoning. This game will have much of what you would expect such as mature themes, alcohol references, and the ever popular spousal abuse but will also include some things that you would not anticipate. A full transcript of their reasoning can be found below:

"In Citizen Kane players play from the first person view of an incredibly tall mute protagonist who follows around a news reporter attempting to uncover the meaning of the final words of Charles Foster Kane, constantly looking over said reporters shoulder. In what can best be described as creepy voyeurism, players dictate the reporter's actions through the protagonist, known only as "third-person camera."

During flashbacks players will occasionally follow the character Charles Foster Kane. Several times throughout these flashbacks players will encounter mature themes such as alcohol references, sexual themes, and violence, specifically in the form of spousal abuse."

7. Special Editions
Like all major title releases this game will of course have a Super Secret Special Deluxe Fat Free All-Natural 100% Certified Members Only Redux edition. It will include the game minus 1/3 of the original content, a mail in rebate coupon with no return address or paid shipping for a code for the remaining 1/3 of the content, a guide book, an 1800 era printing press, and a user assembled broken snow globe, complete with sharp edges. All of this can be yours for the low low price of $1,700, tax, tag, and dealer fees apply, see dealer for details.

[embed]173258:29726[/embed]

8. Multiplayer
Because.

9. This list doesn't have a number 4
Yeah, and you didn't even notice.

10. The Apocolypse
It is all over the Dead Sea Scrolls that when video game finally become a legitimate art form it will signal the end of the universe. Upon release the universe will finally burn the final vestiges it has been using to expand and begin to collapse back upon itself. Starting at the edges of the universe matter will begin to break down and be destroyed in clear defiance of the laws of physics and nature at a rate exceeding the speed of light. The seas will turn to blood and the world will be plunged into eternal night as the sun is extinguished. At the same time the dead will begin to walk the earth, nuclear war will envelope the world, nature will revolt, the atmosphere will become toxic, and a virus will emerge that no cure will ever exist for.

11. The Following statement is a lie
The above statement is true.

12. There is no cake   read


3:00 PM on 04.29.2010

Thoughts of a First Time Street Fighter Owner

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he knows not what he is getting into. Also, cocks.]

So recently I, and I'm sure many other people, bought the latest entry into the Street Fighter series, Super Street Fighter IV for the PS3. Fair warning, this is the very first Street Fighter game I have ever owned, and in fact my first time playing it when I got it represented the fourth time I have ever played a Street Fighter. Why would I get it then? That is an excellent question and I am sorry to disappoint you, but I don't really have an answer. I have never been that into fighting games. I had played them sure, but when I say I've played fighting games, I am talking about Dead or Alive and Naruto: Ninja Storm (I know, for shame, feel free to decry me in the comments). I figured that since the fine members of Destructoid hold it in such high regard, it may be time to graduate to a respectable fighter. That said, at $40 dollars the price was right to pressure me into a fit of capitalism that would make Smith and Keynes proud.


On an unrelated note, does Keynes look like someone you would trust with money?

With the origin story out of the way I suppose it is time to wade through my thoughts, bring a radiation suit, or at the very least a strong drink with one of those little umbrellas in it. The first thing I noticed when I opened the game was the manual. When I first started visiting Destructoid, I came across this article, and since I have taken more of a notice. As for SSFIV, good god, have you seen that thing, it puts most manuals from recent memory to shame. I remember when I got MAG and the manual was like fifteen pages, not nearly enough to teach you everything you had to know to play the game. I'm sure that this was not a problem with SSFIV, as the manual was something like 53 pages long. I can't be sure of that however, because like every other hot blooded gamer, I noticed the heft of the manual and promptly put it to the side and started playing, bringing us to our next thought.


I don't have a Genie

Holy Hell, I am in way over my head. I don't mean like "well, I have never really played so I can only get better" over my head, I'm talking 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea type stuff, with lead weights chained to my ankles. I put the game in the system and get to the menu. I figure arcade is a good place to start so select it on medium, because only pansies play on easy (too soon?), and choose random. I end up with Makoto, and win the first round by virtue of mashing on the face buttons in a way I am guessing is not dissimilar from a test monkey. Regardless, I move on to the second match with a similar result.

I begin to think that this is not so bad, that maybe I could enjoy playing this game. Well the third fight begins and before I could realize what had happened I was having my ass handed to me on a styrene plate (a silver platter would have been to generous). After several matches that sent my ass-whoopin' insurance premium through the roof I made it past the third fight. The rest of the fights blend together in a potent mix of shattered dreams and crushed ego, neither of which are very palatable, and I don't believe I finished. Since then, I practiced and became better, to the detriment of my schoolwork I might add, and can make it through arcade mode. So I decided to challenge my roommates, which again moves this stream of consciousness forward.

My roommates are jerks. I began playing against one of my roommates, just picking random and trying to find a character I liked to play as. The only problem is I didn't get much time to practice with any of them as the rounds were swiftly ended, just about every time with my characters face in the dirt. I figured I should try another of my roommates. The other one I played with is actually very good at fighting games and so I figured he could give me some tips and maybe help me find a character I like. There is only one problem with that idea though. He used to play competitively, a fact he forgot to mention, and as soon as he hears the announcer say fight he basically transcends. So I am basically sitting next to the closest thing to a deity as he levitates about a foot off our couch while he proceeds to preemptively crush any hopes I had of beating him.


I hate Juri so much.

Well I finally managed to settle on a character. I am sure your all dying to know, so I guess I'll tell you. Dudley is definitely my character of choice. I like both the way he fights and his actual character as a whole. The perfect English gentleman, I really like the way he handles and he does good damage. I have started to learn some of his combos and can combo into a super or ultra, although not always dependably yet. I also really like his counter move, which I can do dependably. Which actually brings me to this.

There is something I can't help but notice about Dudley. First of all watch the counter in this video at around 1:28. Go ahead I'll wait.
[embed]172430:29479[/embed]
Okay now that that's taken care of, did you see the sparkle in his eye? Well tell me that that doesn't remind you of this.

I'll let that sink in for a second... You good? Mind blown? Alright. He reminds me a lot of Armstrong. He has the same mustache, he fights with his fists, and if you at his hair he even has that little curl thing as part of his haircut. I can't help but notice every time I play him.

I guess I've been rambling for long enough so I guess I'll end with some quick thoughts. I also kind of like playing Makoto and have been practicing with her a bit too. There are a couple others that I like but I haven't had time to play with all the characters yet and Makoto and Dudley are the two that I like so far. Also, I am using the PS3 controller, and while better than the 360 controller I am still thinking about getting an arcade stick, if any of you could recommend a certain kind, I would appreciate it.

Well that about does it, if your looking for a match, or a punching bag, just let me know, my PSN is Enkido-Dono, and I may be there for FNF, knowing Yojimbo I'm sure it will be an event. Remember though I am very new at this, so please, be gentle.   read


9:52 AM on 04.27.2010

E for Effort: Hola

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, we need to talk. Also, cocks.]


Now that the explanation of the title is out of the way, we can get to some real discussion.

Listen, I know these kinds of talks are never easy, but just hear me out. I don't think I can keep doing this anymore. The passion is gone, there isn't any love anymore. It's not you, it's me. I mean you are a great game. Hell, your a great franchise. You are one of, if not, the greatest first person shooters on the market for any system, console, PC, or otherwise. We had some good times, some great times, but the magic is just gone. I'm sorry Halo, but I can't keep going on like this, I have to end it. There are others out there who would give anything to have you, my friend Nick would shower you with hours and hours of playtime that you deserve to have, go to them and be happy with them. Forget about me, but before you do, just give me one thing, remember the good times with me, one last time.

It started out innocently enough. I was young, foolish, and had nothing to lose. I had the original XBox and enjoyed it greatly. Eventually, you were introduced to me by a friend, and I was stricken by your charms. I would sneak over in the late hours of the night to be with you. You made me feel invincible (I did play as a 8 ft. tall super soldier that could flip a tank with one hand after all). I wanted to have you for my own, but alas you wore the indications of a class I was not a part of, an M rating. My parents would not allow it. I professed to them your virtue, your true nature, but nay, they would have none of it. Our affair would have to wait.



I knew not how long it would be before you would be mine. I waited years, and would only see you occasionally, but every moment was cherished. Some time went by with neither contact nor mention of you. Then, as if whispered by the shadows of every corner, rumors of your return and a possible reunion reached my ears. The whispers proved to do no justice to what you had become. It was as if you had become a different game. You had matured, a diamond polished to perfection, your beauty setting a new standard which other games would seek to emulate. I knew that I had to have you, and naught would halt my desires. The day you were within my reach you were mine. O, what joyous times, O, what fond memories. Visiting the beaches of Zanzibar, the plains and cliffs of Coagulation, scaling the heights of your Ivory Tower, all memories I look back upon fondly. We had our moments of disagreement, our occasional separations, there were other games, but I would always return to you, and I though I always would. These were the best of our times.

[embed]172159:29430[/embed]

I did not remain complacent however. I was smitten, I wanted to know more about you, I wanted to know your story, every last detail. You promised to deliver, and then some. You had only one condition, the XBox 360. To me, it remained a non-issue, I would have given anything to have you, and with this condition met you were mine all over again. It was clear that your aim was to please me. You had become yet more pleasing to my eye, and you offered even more features and locales. I was finally able to learn the entirety of your story. It could get no better.

I did not know it yet but this was the problem. It started small, I couldn't place it but something was different. Your gameplay was still enjoyable, and you were really cool with my friends, but something was bothering me. You had changed, and it was no doubt for the better, but for some reason I was finding little imperfections. These were not really your fault, but I could not help but take notice. I couldn't help but think that even though you had more to your story, that I had learned everything that I wanted about you. All the mystery had disappeared, and what I thought I wanted ultimately began our falling out. It was around two months later that I had my first real affair.

There was another game, a shooter like yourself, from a franchise that I was not very familiar with but had a high pedigree attached to it. The game was Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. The game looked great, offered a breath of fresh air grounded in gritty realism with an impactful story. All my friends seemed to like it. I left you to play this new game and never really looked back. I would like to say that I had my regrets and there were times where I thought of you, or you would come up in conversation, but I am sorry to say that you were largely forgotten.

I didn't hear from you for a long time. It is understandable as I did really leave you without warning or explanation. Eventually, however, I began to hear things about you again. I heard that you had changed, and in a big way. You were going RTS. I was flattered that you would go to such extremes to try and win me back. Unfortunately, the change was too great for me, I could never see you as anything other than an FPS. I caught glimpses of you during this time, but there was never any interaction.

More games came and went. I got a PS3 in order to meet with an old flame in the Metal Gear Solid series. The system I got as a prerequisite for you let me down and it seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. I heard that you were again making a return, and that you had gone back to the FPS genre. I knew that you were trying and I really appreciated it, but it was too little too late. At this point I had lost all interest.



So now here we are today. You are still a great game, a solid shooter, a staple in competitive gaming, but one thing you are not is my game. Not anymore, and most likely never again. I hear that you will be visiting again soon, that invitations are already being sent. I ask that you hold mine, that you forget about me, move on to those who will appreciate you. Please, do not Reach for me, for it is in vain. I'm sorry, but Halo, it's over.

Fin

Well, that was a lot of melodrama, glad that's over. I feel that it's missing something though, maybe some innuendo. Hows this, I will miss handling your big sniper rifles, sending white streams across the screen into the faces of other players. Yeah, that should do it.   read


8:24 AM on 04.16.2010

You Think You Know How To Troll!?! Stop Fooling Yourself!

[Non-Disclaimer: This blog represents the views and opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he hopes to be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, this is for serious. Also, cocks. (He also recognizes the counterpoint a phrase like "Also, cocks" forms when placed behind a statement of serious intent)]



You think you are clever. You think you will come in here from out of no where, stir up emotions and be remembered for your actions. You think you are witty, that you will post your article and get a multitude of hits, and that somehow that will make you better, that you will be acknowledged for it, that it will give your actions meaning. You call yourself a troll. You could also be no farther from the truth.

You are not clever. You will be of much noise and little fury, and then you will be forgotten. Your account will be deleted, your IP will be blocked. You will have no legacy as you so foolishly hope to have. Your name may be uttered, shortly after, in the occasional spit, but it will not be favorably. It will not garner very much attention, and eventually you will be completely removed from our minds. Not only that but you will have lost the privilege of being a part of one of the best communities I have ever seen, let alone be a part of. You will also have missed out on the chance to see how real trolling is done, and done right(not necessarily and example of trolling done right).



Some of you may not know, but you walk among trolls of the highest caliber, without even the slightest bit of suspicion. These are God-tier trolls that you and I will never have a true appreciation for until their plans actually come to pass. You, dear readers will be shocked to know that these people, Gods among trolls, are your very editors(had too), contributors, and c-blog(again, had too), forum(done now), and IRC regulars.

These people are well respected members of our very own community. With every post their plans are bolstered that much more, their eventual ruin that much more devious and destructive. You ask how can those who are well respected in the community, who continually contribute quality content for our enjoyment be trolls? This is simple, they are building a legacy as well as relationships. Yet all good things must come to an end, and what happens when one of these respected members leaves or are otherwise removed from the community?

The loss sends waves through the community. Even if it is by a small number of people the loss will be felt. Not only that but their memory will carry on(too fitting to not link). They, unlike you, will be remembered. They will be remembered in the sidebars of those that they formed friendships with, in dedicated threads in the forums, in the conversations of the people that carry on their legacy. Such power, despite the most noble intent of use, can also lead to unintended consequences, as someone long removed makes a reappearance, only to drift back into obscurity. Those that are new will join and perhaps make names for themselves as well, but those who have left will be remembered by those who remain, and the new group will know that they have missed out on something that they are likely never to experience. I already know that there are people that have been integral to the formation of this site, and this community that I am not afraid to admit I love so much, that I will likely never meet. Similarly, I am not afraid to admit that there are people that are part of this community that I would genuinely miss were they to leave.

Do you see now. You are not a troll, you are merely a minor annoyance, an insignificant grain of sand to be swept aside and forgotten in the shadow of those giants who are true masters of the art, trampled underfoot by their deft skill. Do not seek to appease your illusions of grandeur. STFU and GTFO, you are not welcome and your presence will be short lived. When your account is gone and you have all of the comments you will ever have and all of the thread posts that you so ignorantly believe will never be matched, know that their count is still climbing, slowly but unhaltingly. That they will have more of an impact than you ever will.



I implore you friends, by all means adopt a troll, but also be sure to befriend one(even coarse, female ones), and add to their legacy and their plans. While the only conceivable end may be their loss, they are well worth knowing and the formulation of their plans are a grand endeavor. As a call to all those who are lurking, stand up, become a part of the community, write a blog, make a thread, share something, don't get discouraged, create your own legacy.

This brings us to the end of our little conversation and the beginning of a new conundrum. As a further testament to this community, it is now five in the morning and this outpouring was over several hours in the darkest hours before sunrise in the making, as it refused to relinquish me from insomnia until given proper form. As such, I am having trouble tagging it. Is it a rant or a community related blog. I believe that I will call it a rant, as this was it's origin, but I wish you to know that I feel it is more the result of and directed toward our community. I love you all.   read


4:58 PM on 04.14.2010

Rectifying Great Injustice [Shortblog]

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, stand back he is attempting arts. Also, cocks.]

Lately I have been a lazy blogger. I have been incredibly busy with both school and that really annoying thing called life. I did get to go to Ultra in Miami and rock climbing in Alabama recently though so that was cool. Anyway, just to inform you this is not really an attempt to rectify said laziness, that will come later. Instead this little diddy is an attempt to rectify a travesty that has occurred in our beloved c-blogs.

You may recall that recently comrade Beyamor posted a well received blog, as he is wont to do, as a tribute to the community. Well, although I thoroughly enjoyed said blog, I feel that there was an injustice that must be corrected in order to bring balance back to the universe. You see, though there were those who were somewhat left out, there are two that stand out in my mind whose exclusion warrants correction. So bravely I ventured fourth, intent on using my lack of art skills to create a piece of artistic brilliance so moving as to bring tears to bring the angles on Heaven to tears. Well that didn't work, so you all get these instead, enjoy.



Admittedly I enjoyed making these, and think I might get into this art thing, if only to be scorned for my artistic vision. I've been working on a new blog header and that would probably be my next project. I'll try to make it not suck.   read


  Around the web (login to improve these)




Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter?
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -