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Enkido avatar 8:17 PM on 06.24.2010  (server time)
So I Sold My Wii

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he found a blog title that summons Nintendo fanboys, pray he can placate them. Also, cocks.]

WAIT! Don't hurt me.

Those of you who pay attention to my occasional ramblings may remember that I was quite enamored with Nintendo's press conference at E3 this year. This raises the question, why would I sell my Wii? If Nintendo did so well at E3 it would seem contradictory to sell the console that would allow me to play any of the marvelous games Nintendo announced during the event. Was I crazy? Probably, but that is beside the point. What happens if you give a mouse a cookie? Am I a terrible person? If well endowed women work at Hooters, do one legged people work at IHOP? Does that last question answer the one before it? Is Xzyliac a girl? Are any of the questions relevant?

I don't know about any of that stuff up there, but I do know that I recently sold my Wii. Gamestop had a thing going on where if you traded in a game console you got an extra $25 store credit. The trade in value for a Wii is $70 store credit, so with the promotion, I got $95 store credit for it. What did I put it all towards?


Confusing right.

Allow me to explain. I am now the proud owner of a brand new black Wii. Your probably thinking that a new Wii system costs $200 dollars, and you would be correct. Now your probably wondering how I managed to get Gamestop to give me a good price on it, I didn't. Now your probably wondering if I am crazy enough to spend over $100 on a console color change. Yes and no.

The thing is my old Wii had a slight overheating problem. During intensive gameplay such as the challenge fights in Okami, or the fights in No More Heroes, and other such games, my Wii would overheat and shut itself down. This tended to happen during marathon gaming sessions, but when it was given a break every two hours or so it still performed admirably. Still I intend to do a lot of gaming on the Wii in the future if Nintendo's line up has anything to say about it. But I actually got more than just a dependable console in a sexy new color.

Nintendo has been adding value to the Wii console for about four years now. This means that when I got my new Wii not only did I get the console, but a number of extra goodies as well.

Hey look stuff:

Black Wiimote with nun-chuck and Wii motion plus

Sadly I had to trade in a controller with my console to get the credit so I didn't get an extra controller out of the deal, just a different colored one. I did however, get Wii motion plus, which I did not have before. I know it took me forever to get it.

Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort

I already had Wii Sports, so now I have 2 copies, but I did get Wii Sports Resort, which I didn't have before. If you buy Wii Sports Resort, it comes with Wii Motion Plus for $50, that helped to justify the purchase a bit. But that isn't all.

Wii condoms

In case those girls over there want to play with my Wii. You can never be too safe. I didn't have any of these before either and the console came with two, one for my new black Wiimote with Wii Motion Plus, and another one for the Wiimote that isn't "enhanced" with Wii Motion "Plus" (the innuendo is palpable). They usually cost about $10 each so got a bit of value out of those too.

Twist ties

Any one who has ever set up a home theater system knows how absolutely indispensable these are. They are the greatest invention ever for holding wires together. This really helps with the sensor bar, which Nintendo decided to make like 30 feet long for no apparent reason. The value of these? Priceless.


Good golly. Nintendo must really want you to know about their stuff. This all probably weighed more than the console did. What it's worth? The power of knowledge.

This thing

What is it? Is it some type of Wii augmentation device that allows the Wii to play HD? Does it solve world hunger? For now I am not going to mess with it for fear of causing the sun's implosion or some other like catastrophe. I had one of these before but I don't know what I did with it, I pray that it has not fallen into evil hands. In fact I think I have an idea for the next Uncharted.

So yeah, I got a sexy new black Wii that looks much better in my entertainment system with no overheating problems as of yet for around $30 if you take out my credit for my old one and add the stuff that I got with my new one. Not a bad deal in my view, plus I managed to keep the Nintendo fans from flaying me, I hope.

Only jerks would point out that SteezyXL kind of beat me to this, but damn it I already had the pictures taken. Also, bleh two picture heavy blogs in a row. Feels like I'm sacking. Still got a bunch of ideas for blogs buzzing around my head like angry electric razors because of E3. I will redeem myself.

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