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Enkido's blog

10:44 AM on 12.28.2011

For Omicron1(with a Dash of Jim), Mostly...

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, it's been a long time but I'm feeling argumentative. Also, cocks.]

Quick Asside: Hey guys, this isn't really what I had in mind for my first blog in a long while, but this little ditty by Omicron1, combined with my general lack of entusiasm for work today, has me in a writing/arguing mood, so you can thank him for this.

Omicron, buddy, brah, compadre, gezpacho(?), what are you talking about? Yes, Jim is an opinionated man, and the funny thing about that is that he gets paid to be so. As a game reviewer on a video game news site, it is his job to espouse his opinions to the wider gaming public. Furthermore, your comparison to a review of a political speech is disingenuous in its application. It implies that Jim was rating the game on something other than what he was supposed to, which is not true. In the review he states that the game does many things right, but that it also has a number of issues that keep it from being more than just an above average game. Reviewing a game based on your tastes is not dishonest to the reader, it is what a review is meant to do, mainly give a single opinion, and that is all that a reader should expect.

Furthermore, comparing a review score to the average is flabergastingly back assward. An average is informed by its inputs not the other way around. You point out that Jim's score for The Witcher is comparatively lower than the average while his score for MW3 is slightly higher. From here you make the wildly speculative leap that he cannot properly form opinions of these games. Now, I'm no Olympic leaper, my lacking the hips for it, but all that your information says to me is that Jim enjoyed The Withcher comparatively less than others and that he enjoyed MW3 slightly more, which is all that average reveiw scores can objectively tell someone. You seem to fault Jim for not reflecting the average when he contributed to making up the average. He's not unsuitable to review these games, anyone with a basic command of language is suitable to review a game, and often they do (you can see it here in the blogs even). Your question seems to be is he deserving of the audience that he is afforded?

If you will allow me, an odd thing to ask on the internet, because c'mon really, how would you stop me, I'm going to use some similarly flawed processes to prove that the metacritic score is wrong. You say that reviews should reflect what will appeal to a vast majority of others, as evidenced here "If you cannot see through "I like" to "Others will like," what are you doing reviewing games?" (This isn't the flawed part, merely what you said). Well the best way to determine what "Others" liked the most is with sales figures, as people vote with their wallet. For the sake of argument and to give a reference point I'll use the same two games you did, The Witcher and MW3 (this is where there be dragons). Now, according to Metacritic and your own admission, The Witcher and MW3 have exactly the same average, and as a reflection of what "Others" will enjoy they should have sold about the same, as they would appeal to the same number of people. But wait! According to this, The Witcher sold 400,000 copies in its first week, which is impressive, but rather paltry when compared to MW3's 6.5 Million on it's first day. Looking at that I would say that that Metacritic is wildly innacurate and that Jim's assesment seems to be more the palletable, jus sayin'.

"Yes, I said wrong. Not wrong for you, Mr. Sterling, but wrong for a review. Call of Duty isn't a 9.5, no matter how much you liked it. The Witcher 2 is not a 6.0. Not in a context larger than your personal experience."

This quote really bothers me. It says right in the review, just after the 6 even, what exactly that score means, "6s may be slightly above average, or simply inoffensive. Fans of this genre will still thoroughly enjoy them, but a fair few will be left unfulfilled." Based on what Jim wrote that sounds like a pretty apt summation of the review, so there's really no issue with boiling it down to a vector there. If you are suggesting that Jim give the reveiw a number that reflects differently than what is stated in the review in order to be in line with what "Others" will feel, then I would argue that that is significantly more dishonest than his supposed crusade.

This is getting a bit overblown now, so I'll finish with one last example. I have been playing Dark Souls vehemently for the last couple weeks whenever I got the chance. I love the game and were I to give an opinion, it would be no less than glowing. My roommate on the other hand, also a consummate gamer, absoultely despises it. Here on Destructoid, with a different reviewer, the develishly handsome Conrad Zimmerman, it received a 7.


1:12 PM on 08.15.2011

Gamer Burn Out and Other Things

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, it's dusty in here. Also, cocks.]

*Cough* Hey guys, long time no see. Its been what, half a year since I've written a blog? I know, it's basically forever in internet time. Not only that, I haven't even commented in almost as long, and to be truthful I just recently started visiting Destructoid again. I got burned out.

I don't just mean the breakneck pace and orotund hype of videogame journalism, but video games in genreal. In all the time of my absence, I have not until very recently played any video games. I don't mean just those jewls of the video game community either. I hadn't even put a surly paw to use in the enjoyment of a smartphone game. Whereas before I had radiated cancerous video game entusiasm, accosting anyone willing to listen with my frothing opinions, everything had now stopped with multi-car pile up abruptness.

So what does this have to do with all of you? I have not the slightest clue actually. I guess maybe just take a break every once in a while to try something different. I'm not saying do it the way I did, I don't really know why that happened, but I will say that I did enjoy my hiatus and I learned a rediculous amount. I retaught myself how to read sheet musc and started parcticing piano with decent results, took up pistol shooting, coerced and broke up with two "girlfriends," learned the BASH command line and played around with Python a bit, kept a full time job as an engineering intern at a jet engine combustor manufacturing plant, read books at the rate of 2-3 a week; everything from "Much Ado About Nothing" to the 28th edition of "Machinery's Handbook," unknowingly commited at least two federal felonies; one of which, looking back was obviously less than kosher, went to the gym just about every day over the summer, and never stopped writing (though not anywhere in particular, to anyone in particular, or on any particular topic). Consequently, that sentence was gramatically entertaining to write.

I'm not trying to brag, I wouln't consider myself anywhere near the proficiency I would want to be in many of those endeavours, but I argue that if you are beginning to feel worn out take a small excursion into something new. You don't have to get every game as it comes out, it can get really expensive really fast and can really lead to buyer's remorse (from what I understand, the Duke can be implicated in this). I've heard it here before and I'm certain more than a few of you have as well; all things in moderation, even this amazing community.

But enough of all that tomfoolery, this place is about vidja gaims, and given my recent abstinace you may wonder how it is I have yet again found myself here. Allow me to paint a picture. It was a dark and dreary night of about three in the afternoon in an adequately lit office. A recent IT error had reallowed me acess to the internet and I was whiling away the hours at my desk sifthing through the affairs of lesser mortals in google news. It was in one of these long hours that I happened upon coverage of EVO in the technology section. What skill. What showmanship. Much company time was spent that day admiring this battle of titans. Back at the Enkido Cave, with much trepidation I placed "Super Street Fighter IV" into my long neglected PS3 and started a network match.

I won.

Despite not even so much as a casual glance at a game for months, the skills I had learned before I stopped had stayed with me. And thus an ember was rekindled. The next day saw more productivity, but with bits of the goings on of the video game industry and eventually this very community.

Some things I have noticed:

Elsa wrote a blog and got semi-internet famous for her little polemic. Venomous blogs were written and childinsh behaviour abounded, but here on DToid, there was not but the culmination of some of the best wringing I think Jim has ever done, as well as exceptional editorials by both Elsa and Schmegegge. DRAMA

I have heard wispered that the sensational condensational cloud of noncommon nomenclature, Beyamor, is a resident recapper now, which is just grand. Much love to all the recappers.

Speaking of staff, there are a lot of new faces since I was last here. I mean a lot. I have solved the mystery for CaptainBus at least but I'm still piecing together the real identities of the others.

I look forward to timorously reintergrating myself. I have a couple of topics that I've gotten the itch to write about, so those of you who look forward to that kind of thing feel free to gaze ahead.

Completely unrelated, anyone who likes anime or Jorge Luis Borges should watch Mushishi. It is what anime would be if Borges did anime and it is amazing.   read

8:44 PM on 12.28.2010

A Homecoming and Other Such Nonsense (NVGR)

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, I love you all. Also, cocks.]

So, some of you may have noticed that I have recently returned from the dead and begun to rejoin the community. It seems that this development has been met with more jubilation than calls for my slow, painful flaying, so I'm gonna call that a win. It is good to know that even on the internet when someone from a close community like ours goes missing that people take notice. Also of comfort was receiving this from Beyamor during my reintegration:

Which then became this:

Quick to riposte, this was produced:

Ending with this:

The moral of the story? It is good to know that the madness will never end.

Well speaking of noticing things, exactly one year ago today I decided to become a part of this loud, vulgar, stubborn, but above all passionate community that is Destructoid. It seems that such an occasion calls for an apology, but instead you guys are going to have to settle for an explanation. So for those interested, I present for your cruel enjoyment my Destructiod origin story.

First of all, I could not tell you what the first story I read on Destructoid was, who wrote it, or how I came across it. I can guess that I happened upon it through the technology section of Google News, where I get most of my information about the goings on of the world around us. I got most of my news from the sites that were better established because that is what was delivered. You can guess the usual, Kotaku, IGN, etc. I can't say that stumbling over Destructoid was a religious experience either. More than likely, it was just well written and entertaining enough to pique my interest and I started looking for the name in the various stories delivered to me. When the name cropped up I took notice and soon found myself poking around in places I aught not be poking around. I soon found myself looking at an article with a curious disclaimer, something about being written by a member of the community. Again, I don't remember which article it was or who wrote it, but the idea of a site offering a place for one to spew their blasphemies was genuinely interesting to me, and so I happened upon the c-blogs.

Like this, but with much less direction and MUCH less divinity.

If ever there was a religious moment to be had for me on Destructiod that was it. The community here had life. It had intelligent people that didn't take themselves to seriously, it had good writers, bad writers, schizophrenics, geniuses, heathens, saints, jackasses, comedians, and all manner of all other things and they all shared a passion for the same thing and were not afraid to express it. It was immediately evident, you people were all nuts, and I was sold. I lurked just long enough to learn that it was a good idea to do an intro post.

I know what your thinking, "great glutes of Godfried you had long hair back then!" Yes, yes I did. Also, looking at it now that corner of my room seems to have been in some kind of time anomaly, as it has not changed since the taking of that photograph at least one year ago. Anyway, I was greeted by an upstanding group of members who made a very compelling argument of why I should run away and never look back. As you all know I am very bad at taking a hint and so here we stand one year later. Thus ends my origin story.

For further reading, see this.

Needless to say it didn't end there. I enjoy writing almost as much as I enjoy having an audience. As such the writing spewed fourth from my fingers like the vomit of a thousand binging sorority girls. I would like to share some of my favorites with you as well as some other moments of special note I don't mind reliving.

One of the things that immediately made Destructoid stand out was that they promoted the writings of their community members. As you can imagine my first(and as of now only) front page article was kind of a big deal for me. As it says in the blog, it is based of another front paged story by Beyamor, who, apart from being a person I genuinely enjoy holding conversation with, is a great muse for some of my finest work (see above Hamsanta madness).

I wrote a lot, but I enjoyed writing some more than others. These are my some of my favorite:
Pertaining to a Galeria of the Arachis Hypogaea variety.
It sells well.
I think I had the most fun with this one.
By far the article I spent the most time on.
Imagining the Utlimate Tool

Now before you all accuse me of being some kind of self whoring spam bot here are a few other moments(no particular order) in my Destructoid career that have stood out:
The fourth anniversary of Destructoid, hooray! Keep it classy.

Receiving my Decoder Ring from Occams Electric Toothbrush, now proudly displayed in my sidebar -------->(somewhere that way).

Friday Night Fights. Of special recognition, Elsa and the MAG group, as well as the ardent Fighting game enthusiasts that tried to teach me how to not suck so bad. Lord knows their quest was arduous.

My Destructoid C-blog Interview, conducted by Law of Thermal Dynamics(technically not whoring, it's on his blog).

New Destructoid, lots of confusion.

Occasional fumbling in the forums. That place is terrifying, but I enjoy myself every time I build up enough insanity to venture where there be dragons.

Holding intelligent debate on the internet with a group of incredibly passionate people. Take that laws of discord!

That about ends it for what I have to say about my first year here. It's been a hoot the entire time. I know there are some of you that I didn't mention and I apologize for that, but there are so many amazing people here that there is no way I could have covered all of you. Also, if you are reading this and I haven't met you, STOP LURKING! I hope that you enjoyed reading as this was for all of you out there in the community. I understand if you want to call it quits here as this blog has already done a running swan dive over the cliff of the TLDR threshold, but if you want to stick around I have a couple more things I want to say.

I will be in one of these one day.

On to the less important stuff. Oddly enough, my one year anniversary on Destructoid coincides with my Birthday, a fact I attribute to heavy drinking during the festivities. This marks my 21st year on this earth and my entry into the realm of tavern regular, happy times. As you may be able to guess by the (hopefully) organized layout of this blog, I haven't started into it full force, but I have managed to procure a bottle of champagne to share with a lady friend and a bottle of Jack Daniels for myself. Also planned is a four day party for both my birthday and new years, courtesy of my friends, who are all awesome.

Speaking of awesome people, I was informed today that I had received a suspect parcel in the mail.

I will be surprised if it doesn't kill me.

As you can see it was delivered at the behest of a Mr. Andy Dixon.
I immediately recalled, as I am sure that all of you do, the contest he held not more than five months ago, where I was fortunate enough to win one of his fantastical prizes. Being the paragon of responsibility and punctuality that he is, I am certain he set out immediately from his rock candy castle in Candyland on an arduous quest to hand deliver it to my residence himself. I must say I admire his resolve, as the kingdom of Candyland has become a much more dangerous place since heroine was introduced, and wish to express my sincere gratitude for making it just in time for my birthday.
And now, onto the spoils.

Not all of us can be winners, sorry.

That all I got, keep being awesome.   read

10:46 AM on 12.25.2010

Merry Christmas Dtoid

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, a sack of coal is very effective for mugging the kids that got the good toys. Also, cocks.]

Hey everybody, long time no see. I haven't written anything for a while and I've been really busy. I haven't even had times to play games. Usually when PSN says I'm online, it is in fact some kind of impostor or other masquerading as me, no doubt tarnishing my foul and venom tongued reputation. That is set to get better soon though and I should get back to my video game playin', blog writin' self in short order. I got Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood from my brother so I'll probably be on that after Christmas, for now I am forced to ogle it while I spend time with my family. I guess the main reason I wrote this is to say I miss y'all and Merry Christmas.


3:39 PM on 09.14.2010

Howdy Strangers

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, it's been a while, how have you been. Also, cocks.]

Oh, why hello there. I haven't seen you all in a while, a little over a month if I remember correctly. Sorry about that. Well, things have finally slowed down and a thing happened that deserves writing about. I'll go ahead and let you guess what it is...

You guys are smart, I'm sure you've got it by now.That's right Valkyria Chronicles II has been out for two weeks now.

Wait? What do you mean that isn't what you were thinking? Didn't you see it? It's right there plain as day in the bottom left hand corner.

Anyway, if that wasn't the first thing that came to your mind when I said that, allow me to explain why it should have been.

Some of you may remember the first Valkyria Chronicles. It earned an 8.5 here on Destructiod and has an 86 over on metacritic. In my opinion, it's the best game to come out on consoles this generation, bar none. Suffice to say it does a lot of things right. Well, recently a sequal to this amazing game was released for the little brick of UMD that is the PSP. Well for the last two weeks I have been sinking my pernicious claws into the game and the first thing you should know is that it is the first game, with more content, and it's portable. Now, I'm not gonna give a review, as one, it's not really my thing, and two, there is no way I could craft a balanced review rather than just spewing pants pudding everywhere in adoration. That's right, pants pudding, Enkido is back and playing Valkyria Chronicles II.

I guess I should start with a few of the things that were a bit dissapointing, small as they are. First is looks. The first game was absolutely stunning, as would be expected on PS3. Well VC II isn't on PS3, and while the story bits of it are handled tactfully with anime cutscenes and the art style of the first game taking centre stage during character interaction, but during the the actual missions, I miss the canvas engine eye candy. Ultimately it is a small complaint. The other complaint is the removal of the sniper as a starting unit. In the first game I had a sniper that could put a bullet up a guys nose at 2,000 yards in driving rain with her eyes closed and a sever bout of hiccups. Marina Wolfstan is that much of a beast, and I miss not being able to train a sniper from the start. It is still possible to get snipers, but it takes a bit of leg work as they have to be upgraded from scouts. Those are really the only two gripes I have about this game.

Now for the stuff that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. First of all it's portable, whcih means that I can take it anywhere. Nuff said about that. My favorite thing about Valkyria Chronicles II is the characters. The first game did a better job in my opinion of making the player care about the characters than any other game I have played. Not just the main characters either, I cared about my entire squad and all the characters I was commanding. I can say the same for its' successor with confidence. Although I don't like Avan as much as I did Welkin, the rest of the supporting cast is just as charming and interesting as ever. In fact this combination of character development and portability make for a potent reason to ignore your friends in social situations, because, lets face it, none of them are as interesting as the characters in VC II.

Artists rendidtion:

I won't spoil any of the character development, but I do want to say how well it is done. At first I was a bit scared, as the game takes place at a military accademy and has that anime style that I mentioned earlier, which had me expecting the game to take the easy route and place the characters in their various school anime stereotpes. In some cases the game does this, but even when it does it does so in a way that still makes you care about what is happening rather than just experiencing the same development you have seen recyled over and over in anime. In other cases, some characters are just nuts, like litterally, from secret stalkers to schizophrenics, insane. It makes the character development a real treat and continues the tradition of the first game. Of special mention is Marion Siegbahn, who makes me begin to understand how some Japanese men can end up marrying their handhelds. Don't judge me, you haven't been through what we have.

So, all the good stuff from the last game is still there, now for the new stuff that adds more to what is already amazing. First, the addition of more advanced RPG elements. In the first game you had your squad types and beyond developing better weapons and leveling them to elite class, you couldn't really do anything more with them. This changes in VC II, where you begin with a few starting classes, which can then be upgraded to more specialized roles such as scouts to snipers as I mentioned. I love this because it allows for more specialized roles, which is always a plus in my book when it comes to strategy games. Also, each individual unit chooses their path through the job tree, so each indidviual character chooses thier own specialty. Also, the game focuses more on how much each individual character does, rewarding those who did more with more credits, which are used to upgrade classes.

Another big part of the first game that changed for the better is the tank. In the first game you were able to modify your tank to fit your needs better. This was a good thing and was expanded upon for this game. For instance, you can choose what kind of tank you want to field, either a light, medium, or heavy tank. Similarly, the weapon and other choices are aslo expanded. My favoirte feature, however, is the ability to field an APC (Armored Personell Carrier for those not up on their military lingo) that can carry around your units. It is not as robust as a full blown tank, but the ability to carry and deploy units make it a great strategic asset.

Now for two things I am not so sure about. The first is that the game removes permanent character death. This was a little disappointing for me, as I am a fan of permanent character death. It makes you think that much harder about the decisions you make, knowing that if you lose a character you don't get them back. In VC II rather than losing a character permenately, when a character goes down and is not evacuated, they are hospitalized for three missions instead. During this time they can not be used, but after the three mission penalty you get them back with no ill effects. Though it isn't as devastating as losing a character in Valkyria Chronicles, I can say that after losing a character (forgive me Marion) I did still feel like shit, so there is still some emotional connection. Also, the game has a special way of twisting that knife as every day, when a character is hospitalized, there is a roll call in class that shows you who is out. It's as if the game is saying, "Hey Enkido, remember how you fucked up? Well you do now."

The other thing I am not sure about is the multiplayer modes. This was one thing I really wanted in the first game, but was nervous to hear about in the second. This is because I do not know how well the system in VC lends itself to multiplayer, so unless it is handled really well I am forced to be cautiously optimistic until I can try it myself. If only there were some person who liked this game as much as I did that could test it with me.   read

7:08 PM on 08.04.2010

Another Ill Advised Foray Into the Fighting Game Genre

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he doesn't know how to quit while he is woefully behind. Also, cocks.]

Back when Super Street Fighter IV was announced, it generated quite a substantial buzz here on Destructiod. So much so that I believed that I may be missing out on something entirely novel and enjoyable. Well, having none of that, I began my first foray into the fighting game genre. In retrospect, it would have probably been a good idea to have made my entrance quietly and with as little bravado as possible.

Such tact would have given myself time to learn the basic mechanics of a fighter (based on real life experience I would have to go with shouting loudly and grandstanding), learn my play style, pick a character fitting such a style, practice, and generally do what is required to make myself appear more competent than a stroke victim with no thumbs. As you may be able to imagine I would have none of that as well. Instead, I signed up for the PS3 Ranbat, picked a mustachioed English pugilist as my character and slogged through my first couple of arcade matches, failing to make it through the story. I was off to a great start.

Now I begin my second journey into the dark and seedy world of the fighting game constituency. Last Tuesday I picked up BlazBlue: Continuum Shift, which is the next game in the PS3 Ranbat I mentioned above. Now before you ask why I would spend $40 on another fighter when that creepy guy that hangs out behind the supermarket would be more than happy to shatter my kneecaps with a baseball bat for $10, I should say that I did enjoy my last attempt and I did end up learning a few things and in the Ranbat I actually did astronomically better than my crushing optimism and general ignorance would have let me believe; namely, not last (woot). For starters, I learned what a Ranbat was. After that however, I learned the basic mechanics of 2D fighter, when to block, Yojimbo is a jerk, how to press an attack, ect. I also learned how to cancel, a few combos, an perhaps most importantly committed some of the more common button sequences to muscle memory. I even learned that a counter won't stop Ryu from punching me in the mouth so hard that I find blood in my stool for the next week.

Now I'm starting to get into BlazBlue and I must say I am really enjoying it, more so than SSFIV if I'm honest. I recently finished my summer class, which means that I have time to play games after work again. Also, I finally finished my week long hell moonwalk across the broken glass strewn trail of tears that is the final ten levels of Valor in MAG and I'm back in Raven (play with us sometime), so I have time to devote to this drunken stumbling that is my entry into fighting games (and spewing vitriol on Destructoid, which I have neglected this past week and a half).

This brings me to the last part of this blog. I have yet to pick a character for this new fighter. I really enjoy the character designs in this game and I am having trouble picking one that I like. So I figured I'd let you guys decide. These are the characters I'm considering:





Lambda (a-11?)

Have at it.   read

9:44 PM on 07.19.2010

Rebuttal: Collateral Damage to Children's Psyche?

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, it's arguin' time, hold onto your hats. Also, cocks.]

This originally started as a comment refuting Collateral Damage to Children's Psyche? that got way too overblown. So instead you get this blog. I suggest reading the previous argument before delving into my rebuttal. Be warned, this blog contains rampant opinions and no pictures (gasp)!

I am going to have to respectfully disagree with many of your points. For one thing there has never been any evidence to support the idea of "causation" and instead only "correlation" has been found. In the scientific community, the burden of proof is a requirement and has never been something this argument has been able to bear. As well, it seems that in your third paragraph you give a quote that essentially invalidates your argument.

Here is what you said.
"There's a documentary called 'the soundtrack of war' where soldiers interviewed literally say a lot of them were expecting the war to be like a video game. 'I was expecting to just aim down the sight and shoot...It's a lot more gruesome than you think'"

If it is so much different than a video game, and so much more gruesome in an actual war, then I would argue that they have not been desensitized at all, perhaps misled, but not that video game violence has blunted their empathy. If the soldiers themselves are admitting that war is so much different than a video game, then I fail to understand how this helps your argument. If games are such an accurate depiction of war and violence then why is the real thing experienced so differently? There was recently a very good example of just how different real and fictional violence are in this video (be warned, it is not for the faint of heart and contains actual violence). Still, this video demonstrates exactly how different the two are in a very definite way.

Your point about who a person is fighting also seems to fall short. If the topic is violence in video games, it should not really matter who the violence is directed toward. You bring up racial or religious minorities in America as generally being the enemies of these games, but just as often the enemy of America is the Russians, who are not well known for their abundance of melanin or their religious extremism. Similarly, you bring up civilians, including women and children, which I find strange as these are never the kinds of people the player is shooting at in war games. Their inclusion in your argument seems like an emotional pull rather than a notion grounded in fact. Perhaps if you provided an example.

I also have a problem with your assertion that the U.S. Government stepped in and regulated Black Hawk Down. I have never played the game, but as far as I know there is very little the government can do to step in and alter creative content such as this without treading on the First Amendment rights of the developers. Also, when a game like that is already so far in production it is very difficult to change it and I find it hard to believe that such an example as this is an accurate account.

You also delve into how players carry themselves online, via voice chat. I will be the last to say that there is nothing wrong with some of the things that are said in the online chats of many gamers, but it is important to realize that this is not the way in which a person will conduct themselves in normal society. The problem is anonymity, not the games themselves. Kids used to do prank calls, but when Caller ID became a prominent feature on phones and anonymity was stripped away, it ceased to be an issue. Now that anonymity exists online, where a much larger number of people can participate with an even greater amount of anonymity, the issue has resurfaced through another medium. The games are not the issue in this case, they merely carry the burden.

As for why games are targeted, I believe it is because games are the new thing. It has yet to be established and until it does it will continue to come under fire. I don't believe it is because it allows the player the power to carry out such acts because ultimately the player can only experience what the developer will allow them to experience. Perhaps if there were some game that everyone experienced differently it would be different, but to my knowledge such a game does not exist. Another part of this is that when people go to see a movie they have to go through the ticket window, and if they are not old enough they are not allowed to enter without an adult. It is much easier to regulate. Because video games are consumed in the home, only parental supervision can account for what a child is subjected too, and more often than not very little care is put toward finding out what is and is not appropriate for a child. I would also argue that very little effort is put forth by those who make this argument to find exactly how these types of games are prevented from reaching those whose minds may not be mature enough to handle the themes.

I will agree with you on your point that the "violence was there before video games" is a fairly impotent argument. Instead a better argument would look like, well, ^that, but I do believe much of what I have said to be not only logical but also provable. If I may surmise my rebuttal, though I do not deny that video games have some impact of the minds of young children, I also do not believe that it affects them to the extend and with the severity which you state or imply. Essentially, much of your argument is shallow, with very little real backing, several attempts at emotional plays and fear-mongering, and is open to simple rebuttal and even self opposition.

While my argument to your original post is over, I would like to also discuss your statement about Roger Ebert. I am an enthusiastic gamer (I rather dislike the "hardcore" label) and had no problem with him stating his views. I took issue with the fact that he based it on what he assumed to be true and not actual first hand experience, a mistake that he admitted to and regretted. Also, you say that many of the gamers that responded to him were close minded and didn't read past the title before responding. This I have an issue with, as in his final blog on the issue he said that a majority of the responders were well expressed, perhaps a bit rough, but earnest nonetheless. He admitted to removing only a small few that did not address the subject or were outright offensive.

I also don't enjoy copy pasta.   read

2:17 PM on 07.18.2010

Alternate Reality: The Ultimate Tool

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, what? It's not the end of the month. He apologizes for profaning procrastination, feel free to consider him anathema. Also, cocks.]

Blast that infernal alarm! No matter how I tried, it would never allow me to ignore it. I made sure that was the case. I finally decided to give into its shrill demands and rose from my bed. I hit the alarm, finally silencing the only tone on my phone annoying enough to demand my awakening. It was all I used my phone for anymore, and I only had it because I lacked a dedicated alarm clock and still had my phone, no matter how much its primary function had been so utterly obsoleted and I cancelled my plan quite a while ago. The clock on the phone said that I had less than 15 minutes to get dressed and get to work. A revelation such as this used to send me into a panic, for with a drive of at least 20 minutes I was sure to be late, but such was not the case anymore. Now, such an amount of time was more than enough, almost laughably so. Thanks to The Menu, such things had become trivial.

I opened it up and went to the equipment section. A collared, button up shirt, jeans, socks, and sneakers would suffice. Before closing the menu, I quickly checked under status, hungry and tired just as I suspected. I would have to endure the lethargy, but the hunger was easily remedied. I closed The Menu to find myself garbed in the clothing, taken from my item menu, that I had selected. I walked to the dining room, and pulled up The Menu again. From my items section I selected the dish I had purchased earlier, pancakes, bacon, and orange juice, and upon closing the menu found it waiting for me on the table. Food kept in the item menu never went bad and was always a few simple selections away. After making quick work of breakfast I pulled out my phone to check the time, ultimately a token gesture as the menu had one, but one that had become habit. Less than 2 minutes. I put away the phone and pulled up the menu again, navigating to the quests and mission section, to ensure that I was not forgetting to do anything. It reminded me to feed the dog and having accomplished that, I was ready to go to work just in time.

I opened The Menu again and fast traveled to work. And to think that before it was widely accepted people so vehemently opposed it, despite how much more convenient and efficient it made everything. I still remember what it was like when we didn't have The Menu, everything was so much more difficult. Hell, even menu's that didn't stop time were bothersome, though some still swore by them. I had been going to and from work since long before The Menu was introduced, why should I have to waste time every day traveling to somewhere I had already been? The idea was outdated and unnecessary since the advent of The Menu. Now I only used my car for exploring and after I found somewhere new I would just fast travel to it.

I went into work right on time, and sat at my desk. I pulled up The Menu to check my objectives for the day, and set to work completing them. The objectives menu ensued that nothing that needed to be done went ignored or forgotten.

Noon signaled the lunch hour and checking my status, I knew I was hungry again. I fast traveled to my favorite restaurant and requested a seat for two. I pulled up The Menu again and went to Party. Who did I want to have lunch with today? I settled on my good friend Joe, moved him into my party and closed the menu to find him sitting adjacent from me. He was unsurprised by this notion but scolded me for not letting him finish his conversation. It used to be the case that I would not have time to spend my lunch break with my good friend, but The Menu allowed me to summon my friends to wherever I was with a few simple selections from the party menu. After lunch was over, I removed him from my party and returned to work to finish the remainder of my tasks.

Upon finishing my last task, I was informed that it was indeed payday and all that was left to do was to collect my payment and be done with work for the day. I went into my bosses office and picked up my due, which was automatically added to the total in my menu. We no longer bothered with things like banks anymore and instead left everything to The Menu. Having collected my pay, it was no longer had a reason to be at work and so I fast traveled to the park.

It's relevant, I swear.

Upon arriving at the park, the first thing I noticed was how bright it was. It was, after all 4:00 on a sunny Florida day. I pulled up the menu and went to the configurations. I slid the brightness bar down to a more reasonable and eye friendly level and before closing The Menu, I selected my book from the items list. It was so convenient having everything I owned kept on hand within The Menu. It weighed nothing and I never had to worry about losing anything. I did notice that since I started using it I have been keeping a lot more random shit that serves no purpose but I keep around because I'm afraid I might need it later. Some time later I opened The Menu again to check my status. It was 6:30 and I was hungry again. I also noted that reading my book had raised my intelligence and I was close to the next level. Having some time, I decided to finish up the level until I had a masterful understanding of Machiavelli before fast traveling to the restaurant I had agreed to meet at.

Arriving at the restaurant, I met my girlfriend and added her into my party. While still in the menu, I changed in to something slightly more formal, as this was a fairly upscale restaurant.

I didn't bother checking the relationship status as I already knew it was going to reach the next level tonight. After sharing a romantic dinner, I paid for the meal and we fast traveled to get desert and enjoy it on the beach.

Just as I expected our relationship had leveled up to the point permitting the kinds of things that the catholic church considers unholy outside of marriage. We fast traveled to my apartment and wasted no time. I pulled up The Menu, went to equipment, and with the magic of the unequip all feature we were ready to go. After an exhausting go of it we finally settled down. I was really tired and didn't feel like talking. I knew it was a bad idea and that I might miss something important but it didn't matter to me at the moment. I went to The Menu one last time and navigated to the most handy feature it had. One Skip Cutscene later and I was happily dreaming.   read

7:50 PM on 07.15.2010

The Most Horrifying News I Have Ever Heard [NVGR]

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, the immortal commeth, and his emotions be as immovable as his unbeating heart. Also, cocks.]

Imagine this. I am comfortably laying on my couch, waiting for the oven to go off, signalling that the baked chicken I am making is ready, when a news report begins to air. Until now, the big news of the day has been the long overdue capping of the oil well in the Gulf of Mexico. It has been all good news so far. Then the familiar face of Brian Williams returns to the screen. The next statement eschewed from his mouth surprises me and I look up from my session of Persona 3 Portable to listen. The next words are those which send chills down my spine and freezes the blood in my veins.

Dick Cheney's heart has stopped beating... and he is still alive!

Yes that is correct, the former vice president and puppet master of the Bush administration does not have a pulse. Some would say that this is no surprise, and that many had assumed he had no heart to begin with, but this is different in that it is now not only figurative. All four of the major arteries leading to his black heart have been ceased to function. He is now survived by a machine, which circulates blood throughout his immortal yet frail corpse.

Apparently, this is his fifth heart attack, which is enough to frighten me to begin with. I may be ignorant, but I was taught that when one suffers a heart attack, one of the hearts four ventricles dies. A bypass can be preformed to circumvent the now dead muscle and keep a person alive. However, I had assumed that when a person suffered a heart attack it meant that some higher power meant that they no longer wished you to live. Humanity has been able to overcome this, and the gods, anticipating this ensured that after four such attempts the failsafe built into the human body would ensure their demise. Yet the archfiend continues his deathgrip on life after five such divine smiting attempts.

Now I don't know about the rest of you but this absolutely horrifies me. The man without a soul now requires not a heart as well. He has achieved immortality even in death. Now I used to play a tabletop game by the name of Warhammer 40,000, and this story has drawn a most terrifying parallel with the Emperor of Mankind, a man made immortal by the Golden Throne, an ancient machine that keeps his corpse alive while he rules over humanity as their ultimate master. Every day millions of humans are sacrificed to the Golden Throne so that the immobile corpse of the Emperor remains immortal. As if to further cement the similarities, Cheney is planned to have a heart transplant, which while seen as a normal medical practice in this age, must be seen for what it is. Another person had to die and donate their heart to ensure his survival. Huh...

For reference

The Immortal God Emperor of Humanity

For comparison

Dick Cheney

Here is a piece of writing describing the God Emperor... or Dick Cheney.

For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has
sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is
the master of Mankind by the will of the Gods and
master of a million worlds by the might of his
inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass
writing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of
Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the
Imperium for whom a thousand souls die every day,
for whom blood is drunk and flesh eaten. Human
blood and human flesh- the stuff of which the
Imperium is made.   read

9:37 PM on 06.30.2010

The Great Escape: The World is not as Colorful as it Seems

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he needs to stop procrastinating on these. Also, cocks.]

Journal, Day 1

Today is a very busy day for me. It is my thirteenth birthday. It isn't going to be like my other birthdays though. There won't be any friends, no presents, no games. Today is the day I venture alone into our world in chase of my dreams. I'm not sure why I have to, but it is something that all kids my age do in our world. I am awoken from my restless sleep by my mother who tells me what I already know. I dress myself with the slow certainty that accompanies any task taking place before an unavoidable responsibility. I eat a quick breakfast, the last with my mother, to whom I bid farewell upon departure. I never knew my father, whom I know nothing about, nor has my mother fretted over divulging the details. Regardless, I begin my entry into the world.

I am to meet the town patriarch. An intelligent man, a kind of zoologist and previously a collector of rare and exotic creatures, he was to be the one to send me on my way. Age has begun to collect its due and upon arrival I am forced to reintroduce myself. Before my journey can begin, he informs me that I must choose a companion. Though his collection of exotic animals has waned over the years, he offers me a choice of one of three companions who will accompany me on my journey. I look with anticipation upon the creatures that are offered me and eventually settle on a large lizard type animal. I am told that this creature is possessed of unflagging loyalty, and would be my faithful companion no matter my actions.

It is at this time that the grandson of the patriarch enters, for he is to start his journey today as well. We are close to the same age yet we have forever been antagonists, and this would not change on this day. Due to his age, I am yet again called upon to remind him of his own grandson's name. My peer is given the choice of the remaining two beasts and after observing my choice makes his choice, a strange turtle that walks on two legs. He suggests we compete, as he has many times before, to compare our choices.

After a short time the competition is decided in my favor, my rival storming off. I decide that having nothing left to attend to it was time for me to leave and make my way in this world. I leave the home of our patriarch and venture to the northern entrance to our town. In stark contrast to all inside the borders of our town, the trail leading away is unkempt, overgrown weeds and grass obscuring any discernible path. Unafraid, I take my first steps toward my new life.

Journal, Day 3
The world outside of my town is nothing as I expected. The overgrown paths shroud hidden dangers and beasts who attack without provocation. I find myself wondering why such a young person would be expected to make their own way in such a cruel and unforgiving world.

I have not eaten or slept since my travels began, for fear of ambush. I have already found use for my companion, whom has done well in protecting me from the beast so set upon taking advantage of the young prey that has stumbled into their world. Though he has gained in strength, it has not dissuaded any would be attackers. One thing is clear, if I am to last, I must find food.

Journal, Day 5
I ate well last night, the paths I wander have proven to be abundant with small rats and birds, whom my companion finds little challenge in defeating. I feel that if I can capture some of these other beasts, they may also be made to do my bidding. There is a town that I passed along my route, home to a specialty shop which sells a device promising such capabilities. The problem is I have little money and what little I have must be spared for food and water. My plan will have to wait for now.

Journal, Day 9
This day has informed me of yet another danger of the path I travel. There are those who wish to prey on the weak and unsuspecting who travel these routs carelessly. While traveling in the late afternoon, I found myself beset by another traveler. He would accept no conversation, choosing instead only to fight, I assume in order to deprive me of my things so that they may become his boon. My companion fought magnificently, defeating his weakling beasts. He being now defenseless, I set myself upon him before he could flee.

From him, I stole his purse containing a small but sufficient sum. Having this I allowed him to escape, knowing that with no protection, he would not last long. My companion had been injured in the exchange and I resolved to seek help. I returned to the outpost I had visited earlier on the route. There I was able to find care for my companion and the first restful nights sleep I have had since shunning my old life.

Journal, Day 18
I have added to my group of vassals. The money I received from my would be attacker, provided me with the funding I needed to purchase the device that would ensure the unquestioning loyalty of the beasts of this land. Since that time, I have managed, by means I do not proudly recall, to afford a number of these devices. To make use of them, the beasts must be captured. Once this is done, I become sole warden of their asylum and command their every action.

Among my group are one of the several small birds that can be found throughout the area, a kind of large worm with a horn atop its head which it used to inject venom into its prey, and a small rat with large teeth and a fierce disposition. I am presented with proof of the cruelty of this world almost daily. On these paths, I have found those items left behind by others. Though I do not want to, I have learned to assume the worst. I have a fleeting thought that perhaps this is what became of my father. The though is fleeting as there are far more important things to concern myself with. Still, the weakness of others works in my favor.

Journal, Day 27
I was attacked by another traveler again today. Before our fight was begun he asked me how I had come upon an item I had acquired, a kind of pin, which until his mentioning it I did not know I possessed. As it happened, he himself seemed to be the owner of such a pin as well. I told him I had found it in a set of clothes I had stolen from the campsite of another traveler. Upon hearing this, he attacked me. I was able to defeat him and capture him.

I decided to question my new prisoner as to the interest in my pin if he already had one. He told me that the pins were symbols, that they were given out by powerful beastmasters like ourselves who could prove their worth in a struggle against them. Upon hearing that I had found mine, he had assumed that I was weak and would fall easily. Knowing that he know knew the error of his decision, I deprived him of his things and left him to fend for himself in the wild.

He had given me a valuable piece of information though. In this world these pins represented power. Power ensured survival. I now resolve to defeat these beastmasters and take their symbols of power. I would defeat them all and in doing so ensure that none would challenge me. I would become the best and the most feared beast master in this godforsaken world. I would become the greatest master the world of Pokemon would ever see.   read

10:11 AM on 06.27.2010

Assorted Randomness on Sunday [definitely NVGR]

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, just feels like writing today. Also, cocks.]

I guess I'll start with something that has been bothering me for a couple days now. I have a bit of an axe to grind with Apple. The new iPhone 4 was released this past Thursday to great anticipation. As expected it sold gangbusters. However, it did not take long for users to start reporting problems, some of which are pretty serious in my view. The first complaint was yellow spots on the screens. From what I hear, this isn't an issue anymore. Something about the glue used on the glass not being dry yet. Still that seems like something you would want to make sure of before you ship it.

The bigger problem seems to be the antenna on the phone causing signal problems. In the iPhone 4 it seems that the antenna is incorporated into the case design. Steve Jobs called it "brilliant design" during the annual Apple conference, and some have called it a "work of genius." Now I have been considering getting a smartphone for a little while now. When it comes to things like this I like to do a little research. I have never been a fan of Apple (I have never owned an iAnything and I'm really not a fan of closed systems, no matter the benefits), but it is impossible to ignore the success the iPhone has had in the market. As it seems to be the phone to beat, it made sense that I look into it when deciding on one.

I was not about to go out and get a 3GS though. No, I decided to wait until Jobs unveiled the newest edition, and see what the launch brought. In the case of the iPhone 4 it seems it brought problems. From what I hear this is somewhat typical, and the problems are usually ironed out in short order, so I wasn't really ready to discredit them yet. Then I heard Apple's response to the problems.

It seems that if you hold the phone a certain way, you bridge the gap between two antennas and lose signal. In my mind, that is a serious design flaw and also a deal breaking issue. Of all the things I could possibly want a phone to do, it would be to make calls when I need it to. I don't care if it cures cancer or brings peace to the middle east, I want my phone to be able to make calls first and foremost. You can ask my last phone, which due to failing me when I needed to call for a tow truck, now lays crushed into dust somewhere on I-95.

Now when reports started coming in of issues with the phone dropping calls and losing signal, Apple was quick to respond. Wait, let me get this strait, your response is basically to tell the consumer to not hold it that way. WHAT! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! Seriously, I don't care how good the design looks, if it can not do the one thing it was primarily meant to do then it is bad design. And your other suggestion, "buy a case," NO, I shouldn't have to. Good design means that it does what it is supposed to no matter what conditions it is put under. I want to be able to do anything short of firing it out of a cannon and still make calls, not to be crippled because I like to hold it a certain way, and I most certainly should not be required to buy another product so that your previous one works. It doesn't work like that.

Form DOES NOT trump function.

Part of this may be my background. I want to be an engineer. I am currently interning at a plant where the manufacture jet engine parts. When we design something it has to work. There can be no mistakes because peoples lives are at stake. We work under the strictest quality regulations in the aerospace industry and shit like the iPhone 4 launch literally does not fly. Also, you can't just shrug off mistakes like that and pass it off on others. If you mess up and people get hurt you as the engineer are not only liable, but can be incarcerated for it. I realize that this is not quite as serious as jet engines, but when you pass good form off as good design, I at least will dismiss you without second thought.

I'm glad that I decided to watch the iPhone 4 launch before deciding. I don't know how they play on fixing it if at all or if more problems have popped up since I last checked Friday, but I can now say regardless, I won't be getting an iPhone. As a side not, since the launch I have been getting really spotty connection on AT&T. Just a thought. That's enough venting for now.

Speaking of axes and grinding, NEW GUITAR GET!

Look at that, my God is it a good looking piece of musical equipment. It is a '97 Gibson SG. I've been slacking recently when it comes to practicing guitar because of all the other stuff going on in life and I was looking for a reason to get back into it. I am proud to announce that I found it. One of my co-workers brought it in Friday and was selling it for $400. That was a great price for this guitar, and it is in absolutely great shape. I have been playing the hell out of it since I got off work Friday at just about every opportunity I get.

I also, saw Toy Story 3 with a friend of mine. My opinion, go see it. I love Pixar's stories because of the way that they can appeal to everyone. While Toy Story 3 is in my view a more child focused affair, there are plenty of mature themes and references that older viewers will be able to enjoy. Pixar has definitely managed to keep their imaginations in tact for this. It really doesn't disappoint and there were a couple times where the movie really talks to the viewer. It even has a Stevil reference.

Speaking of said friend, after the movie, she and I ended up having a few drinks together. Nothing substantial, just had to finish up the last quarter of a bottle of rum before my parents get back from their cruise, barely enough to get tipsy. Long story short we ended up in my bed and we talked until near daybreak. It was really enjoyable actually. We ended up falling asleep together until sunrise. Now I'm a bit confused, and I don't know exactly where that puts us. Making things more complicated is the fact that she is fleeing the country in less than two months, which means either one of two things. She found out about the others, or she is serious about that foreign exchange thing she was talking about. Regardless, seems like I'm just going to have to go with it and see where it leads, if anywhere.

The A/C at my house is broken. This sucks. It is the middle of a humid Florida summer here and the thermostat is reporting a temperature of 84 degrees inside my house. Fortunately for me, I have a window mounted A/C in my room. Not so lucky for my siblings.

Lately, I have had a couple of new bands pounding around the inside of my skull. Some of them are Arcade Fire (and one more), Beirut (and another, ok, I'm done), and Fleet Foxes, whose name I love.

I really enjoyed the Jimquisition. It seems like something I could really get into. I like the Sundays with Sagat feature and hope that continues, but this seems like something more serious that would make a good substitute for Rev Rants. Also, sunglasses.   read

8:17 PM on 06.24.2010

So I Sold My Wii

[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he found a blog title that summons Nintendo fanboys, pray he can placate them. Also, cocks.]

WAIT! Don't hurt me.

Those of you who pay attention to my occasional ramblings may remember that I was quite enamored with Nintendo's press conference at E3 this year. This raises the question, why would I sell my Wii? If Nintendo did so well at E3 it would seem contradictory to sell the console that would allow me to play any of the marvelous games Nintendo announced during the event. Was I crazy? Probably, but that is beside the point. What happens if you give a mouse a cookie? Am I a terrible person? If well endowed women work at Hooters, do one legged people work at IHOP? Does that last question answer the one before it? Is Xzyliac a girl? Are any of the questions relevant?

I don't know about any of that stuff up there, but I do know that I recently sold my Wii. Gamestop had a thing going on where if you traded in a game console you got an extra $25 store credit. The trade in value for a Wii is $70 store credit, so with the promotion, I got $95 store credit for it. What did I put it all towards?


Confusing right.

Allow me to explain. I am now the proud owner of a brand new black Wii. Your probably thinking that a new Wii system costs $200 dollars, and you would be correct. Now your probably wondering how I managed to get Gamestop to give me a good price on it, I didn't. Now your probably wondering if I am crazy enough to spend over $100 on a console color change. Yes and no.

The thing is my old Wii had a slight overheating problem. During intensive gameplay such as the challenge fights in Okami, or the fights in No More Heroes, and other such games, my Wii would overheat and shut itself down. This tended to happen during marathon gaming sessions, but when it was given a break every two hours or so it still performed admirably. Still I intend to do a lot of gaming on the Wii in the future if Nintendo's line up has anything to say about it. But I actually got more than just a dependable console in a sexy new color.

Nintendo has been adding value to the Wii console for about four years now. This means that when I got my new Wii not only did I get the console, but a number of extra goodies as well.

Hey look stuff:

Black Wiimote with nun-chuck and Wii motion plus

Sadly I had to trade in a controller with my console to get the credit so I didn't get an extra controller out of the deal, just a different colored one. I did however, get Wii motion plus, which I did not have before. I know it took me forever to get it.

Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort

I already had Wii Sports, so now I have 2 copies, but I did get Wii Sports Resort, which I didn't have before. If you buy Wii Sports Resort, it comes with Wii Motion Plus for $50, that helped to justify the purchase a bit. But that isn't all.

Wii condoms

In case those girls over there want to play with my Wii. You can never be too safe. I didn't have any of these before either and the console came with two, one for my new black Wiimote with Wii Motion Plus, and another one for the Wiimote that isn't "enhanced" with Wii Motion "Plus" (the innuendo is palpable). They usually cost about $10 each so got a bit of value out of those too.

Twist ties

Any one who has ever set up a home theater system knows how absolutely indispensable these are. They are the greatest invention ever for holding wires together. This really helps with the sensor bar, which Nintendo decided to make like 30 feet long for no apparent reason. The value of these? Priceless.


Good golly. Nintendo must really want you to know about their stuff. This all probably weighed more than the console did. What it's worth? The power of knowledge.

This thing

What is it? Is it some type of Wii augmentation device that allows the Wii to play HD? Does it solve world hunger? For now I am not going to mess with it for fear of causing the sun's implosion or some other like catastrophe. I had one of these before but I don't know what I did with it, I pray that it has not fallen into evil hands. In fact I think I have an idea for the next Uncharted.

So yeah, I got a sexy new black Wii that looks much better in my entertainment system with no overheating problems as of yet for around $30 if you take out my credit for my old one and add the stuff that I got with my new one. Not a bad deal in my view, plus I managed to keep the Nintendo fans from flaying me, I hope.

Only jerks would point out that SteezyXL kind of beat me to this, but damn it I already had the pictures taken. Also, bleh two picture heavy blogs in a row. Feels like I'm sacking. Still got a bunch of ideas for blogs buzzing around my head like angry electric razors because of E3. I will redeem myself.   read

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