OMG!! I'm one of "them"!! How in hell did this happen??? I used to be such a nice girl. Now, I've become that stereotypical gamer... spending my evenings loading up some shooter game and yelling at people into the mic. The fact that I'm old (47) and female, well that's irrelevant because I've become exactly how I always thought gamers were - addicts who bought SOCOM or HALO and played them night after night.

I don't really know how it happened. It was never my intention. I look at the games scattered near my console and most every night I find myself playing an FPS or shooter game - usually the MAG beta, Resistance 2, KZ2 or Battlefield 1943, sometimes Warhawk. I find this odd. I don't like guns. I've never fired a gun in real life. I don't know guns and always think a SCAR is a mark left by an injury, or that FAMAS is somebody misspelling Famous (OMG... I'm Famas!) I don't even know the differences between an SMG and an assault rifle and they all kind of seem the same to me - point, shoot. Terms like bullet spread, grips and suppressors always sound vaguely S&M dirty to me.

It wasn't always this way. I played all the Tomb Raider games, I played RPG's like Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale on the PC, and Shenmue and TimeStalkers on the Dreamcast. I loved the horror genre and eagerly played the Resident Evil games, D2, Shadow Man and many others. Sure, there was shooting in Tomb Raider games, in Blue Stinger, RE and other genres... but they were still more story oriented and had many other gaming aspects. Nowadays I don't even want to bother with the campaign, I just want to play the online game and shoot people. I played Killzone 2 for over 3 months before I finallly went back and played the campaign mode - on easy, just to get through it as quick as possible, just to see what it was like.

I want to get excited about games like InFamous, Batman or Brutal Legend.... but I just know that I'd rather be playing an online game... with guns. I do occasionally play other genres... I've played Flower and it was fine, for short while, but I think it would have been more fun with a gun.



I do usually have an offline game that I play when I finally tire of shooters and just want to relax. It used to be Oblivion, it's currently Sacred 2 and my next game will be Dragon Age:Origins. But these are games I play when I can't play online, or am just too tired to play something that requires any thinking and these are my "relax and vegetate" games... games that tend to be fairly repetitious, easy, long and their own world.


Last night I was a squad leader in the MAG beta, issuing orders to my squad, co-ordinating with my Platoon Leader, working as a team to achieve various objectives... getting annoyed with a sniper who was picking us off as we neared an objective and ordering my troops to "take him out". There's something very empowering about working as a team with real people and achieving the small goals you set for yourself or your group. I think for me the attraction to shooter games has absolutely nothing to do with guns... and everything to do with the teamwork. I find that in about 50% of the games I'm in, I end up with a great group of people where several are on mic and there's a real feeling of camaraderie even with random strangers. I don't know why I have such good luck, but it happens often enough that online FPS gaming has become quite addictive for me.


Teamwork!

I do want to expand my horizons, try other games... I know at some point I'll buy and play Bioshock 2 - but it's still a secondary game for me, something to play when I'm not hauling ass across a map to help a teammate. Borderlands currently tops my list of "most wanted"... but while it's an RPG, it's the promise of all those lovely guns that has me excited!

I guess it's not so bad being one of "those" gamers. It's not really the guns, it's the teamwork and social environment. Speaking of which, I still host an open Warhawk game every Thursday night, and anybody is welcome to join in. The game name is usually GAP-Elsa, it starts around 7pm pacific and it's an unranked player server with a rank cap of Captain. Feel free to jump in and join me... only don't steal my tank! This teamwork thing only goes so far.....
:)

Oh... and I did buy Uno... hoping to get some social play without shooting someone, but really... just before someone plays a 7 and trades their stack of 8 cards for your single card, don't you think a headshot animation would be appropriate??

It's the house party that just won't die! They shut off the lights, turned the music down, locked the doors, and every once in awhile the Admins wander in wearing their bathrobes - yawning and looking around with an expression of "you're still here??... the party's over... go home". Over six years later, it seems that the party is indeed over. In about April of 2003, Sony first revealed the existance of a group called the "Gamer Advisory Panel", which became commonly referred to as "GAP". The group was essentially a focus group for various surveys as Sony worked on the development of both the PSP and the PS3.



The Gamer Advisory Panel was also an invite-only group and on receiving the invitation gamers were granted access to a private blogging portion of the Playstation site. Most new members received a fancy certificate of membership and also a welcome gift that changed over the years, but generally was an item like a hat, t-shirt, disc binder or other small item. In exchange for their involvement they were promised such things as the following:
* Opportunities to provide feedback (generally through various surveys, but also in response to blogs posted by the site admin) * Prioritized access to beta tests
* Opportunities to work at Playstation events and promotions (Ozzfest, Comic-con, and sometimes instore promotions at various locations) * Access to exclusive insider events, including contests
* A shot to win a trip to E3 (this contest was last held in 2006)

For the most part, the promises made were fulfilled. I got the invite in early 2006, a few months after registering a launch PSP. I was admittedly a bit puzzled about the certificate which stated that I was apparently "one of the most elite, involved gamers in the Playstation Underground". I had only made a few posts on the PSU and my gaming skillz were hardly "elite"! After awhile I soon came to realize that membership was likely either entirely random or particular demographics were targeted (acquisition of newer consoles seemed a definite factor as most newcomers had a PSP and later newcomers had a PS3).



The biggest promise was the "power to shape the future of gaming" which did happen. Early members received many surveys which helped to shape the current PSP and PS3 units and many of the contests were unique. One I still remember was for the God of War 2 Alternate costume contest. GAP members submitted their alternate costume ideas and then they also got to vote on the submissions to select the final costume. Amusingly GAP members voted for the "COD of War" costume, and astonishingly the Devs actually fulfilled their promise and included the costume in the final game. It illustrated that gamers have a sense of humour, and it was a fun addition to a fairly serious game - indeed changing "the future of gaming" to some small extent.



So GAP served it's purpose and more members were added to GAP regularly in giant waves of invites where the community was flooded with "hi I'm new" posts. Slowly things changed though. With the release of the PSP and PS3 the surveys decreased. When the Playstation.blog became a reality and feedback could be more direct, surveys to GAP members ceased. Data that once they relied on GAP members for, they now had direct access to. With the PSP and PS3 being connected to the web, Sony now had access to what games were being played, how long, the movies we watched, how many unique users used a PSP or PS3 unit, the web sites we surfed, how many friends we have or don't have, heck, they probably even know what we eat for breakfast (and quit scratching yourself there... it's not polite!) With this "hard data", new alternate feedback mechanisms such as the Playstation blog, and the ability to send out betas electronically without a physical disc or UMD... input from GAP members became obsolete and basically not needed.

About a year ago, new members stopped appearing. New contests became increasingly rare, and beta invites came through pre-orders, random selection or PSU forum participation. There were no new surveys and the website itself began to become outdated and stale with old contests, old promises and old information that was never changed or updated. Members gradually left for the usual reasons... school, life changes, other websites. With no new incoming members, active participation in the GAP community decreased. However, Sony seemed to forget that it's people that make the party. Even with no music, no booze, no cake and no balloons... the people there have formed a community. While it's not always a "happy" community, the GAP site is still "home" to many gamers. So what do you do with a group that refuses to leave when the party's over? Sony essentially created a prestigious private club and everyone wanted in. To this day there are still threads on the PSU forums with enquiries regarding "how do I get into GAP?". Do you tell them that you're shutting the doors and give them a timeline? Do you hope that eventually they finally do drunkenly wander off and you can quietly close the doors? Do you create a new program (possibly P.S. Thanks) and invite them in? Do you kick them out on their asses and quickly lock the door behind them? Could (and should) the program be reinvented? Sony could learn a lot about group mechanics by looking at GAP more closely. How large gaming groups work, the benefits to Sony, how groups could better be incorporated and catered to.... but that's another blog!

I used to be a very active member on GAP and was even a GAP moderator for several years. I came to Destructoid, because I started looking for a new gaming community. Somewhere that I could game online with other people, somewhere that I could read and write... and somewhere that what I write might actually be noticed by Playstation. In all honesty I don't think they read GAP anymore, and have rather forgotten about us. In some ways I'm glad they shut the party down as otherwise I would never have joined Destructoid... but in many other ways I'm saddened not by the loss of the "perks" of being a GAP member, but rather by the loss of the community. I still lurk on GAP and occasionally participate, but the site's stagnation and unknown future is unsettling and makes me feel sad. Playstation's Gamer Advisory Panel seems to have become "forgotten". :(

Elsa sneaks up and grabs the flag... she's running with two enemies following close on her heels firing at her. She sees the tank up ahead and runs toward it - instant cover and protection! It's only a few feet away now... she runs up to it... and squats beside it. WTF? Is she taking a pee break or something? Why the hell didn't she just get in the tank?

No... I did not mean to squat beside the tank, I pressed the button to get into a vehicle... for the wrong game! My name is Elsa and I have a problem. I play too many games and have OCD... Over-gaming Controller Dementia.

So much of gaming is automatic, once we get used to the controls we often don't even think about the buttons we are pushing to achieve the action... until we push the wrong button and instead of jumping, we throw a grenade at our feet to commit a spectacular suicide. There isn't even any standardized controller configuration... while most games use R1 to shoot, every once in awhile some game comes along and decides to use R2 just to screw with you. The other day I accidentally loaded up a game using my husband's ID... and suddenly I was in a game using switch sticks with an inverted view. I quite literally could not play the game. My lil avatar was running into walls while looking at the sky or his feet and doing pirouettes... it was like being a drunk epileptic trying to do microsurgery.

With the abilities of current gen games where we can customize our avatars with different heads, voices, outfits and even facial scars... why does every game not have ingame controller customization? Why don't more developers allow for button remapping? Resistance 1 and UT3 both had this capability, why can't every game include a comprehensive controller configuration menu? Why doesn't Sony buy this code and give it away free to every developer rather than spending money making more pick-up bar emulator locations for Home? In fact, why isn't a controller remapping widget not built directly into the console operating system? Just as we can access the XMB to change our headset volumes and configurations, why can't we access a controller remapping system that retains the configuration for each game? The very basics of gaming is the input controls... why don't console developers work to create a way for the users to create their own customized and comfortable control inputs?

Many of us are old enough that gaming controllers essentially worked like this:


Nowadays, the L2 and R2 triggers work as "alt" controls for the entire controller... essentially creating a controller like this:


When new gamers take up gaming nowadays, the learning curve is much more difficult... this is exacerbated when games don't give controller options but instead give a "standardized" configuration that the user has to adjust to. If third parties like Splitfish can create the Frag FX controller that has remappable controls, then why can't console developers create their own 1st party controller remapping systems? Why should I have to adjust each time... why can't games adjust to me? Isn't this the "next generation" of gaming?

I'll be honest, there are games I didn't buy because I hated the controls. Resident Evil 5 was one of those games. Yes, I probably would have adjusted to the controls, but in this day and age, why should I adjust to awkward controls? There are other games where I tried the demo and specifically bought the game because the controls felt natural. Bioshock was one such game. Battlefield:Bad Company was a rental... because it didn't have a southpaw control scheme for my husband, so I knew it wouldn't be a game that he would play or that we could play together online - otherwise they might have sold two copies of the game.

The basics to most any online game nowadays are the controls... and voice chat. This is another area where the PS3 seems moronically inconsistent. How does a game like Battlefield 1943 manage to pass any type of quality control process when voice chat consistently fails after a game or two? How does a game like Sacred 2 manage to be released with "4 person co-op play" when the person creating the co-op game loses voice chat the minute there are more than 2 people in the room? I think that one of the reasons for the commercial failure of UT3 was the lack of voice support. For the first several months after the game was released the developer refused to believe that voice support was even problematic despite the numerous complaints... the fix simply came too late. Again, why isn't there either standard programming for voice chat that is freely given to all PS3 developers or alternatively an operating system option for voice chat that works in all games?

The PS3 is an amazing piece of electronics... you can watch blu-ray movies, you can download movies, you can watch movies from a flash drive, you can voice/video chat, you can play music, do a slide show, you can game online for free and can even opt to inhabit the second-life world of Home... but it seems that the actual function of gaming is not as fully supported as other aspects. Why can't every game have reliable voice chat and customizable controls?

These two fairly minor issues... but they continue to piss me off! :(

The old stereotype of the solitary geek gamer hiding out in his dorm room playing video games is long gone, but the myth seems to persist that gamers are anti-social people - people that would rather spend time in imaginary worlds with imaginary people that get together with friends and real people to do "real" things.

Nothing could be further from the truth! One has only to look at the people who populate Destructoid and other gaming related sites to realize that gamers are actually highly socialized people who are often friendly, bright and articulate. Online gaming is increasingly popular and people are making friends all over the world. Even with the offline console games, it isn't unusual to see people enjoying the comraderie of playing multiplayer or 2 person games with friends. Sitting around talking and joking, playing games like Rockband or Singstar, and joyously making fools of themselves. When we meet another gamer at a party or event, we can immediately identify and animated, heartfelt conversations usually ensue. While this conversation littered with "fragged", "RPG"and "KDR" may seem confusing to others, we are happily in our element.

Seeing all the Destructoid PAX blogs has been heartwarmingly wonderful... and I think this is as true an indication of the very real friendships that can be formed on the internet. It seems odd to me that anyone would write "IRL" or "in real life" within a Destructoid blog... because isn't being on Destructoid part of that "real life"? We all compartmentalize our lives in some fashion... I'm sure we are slightly different at the workplace, with friends or at home... so why is our internet life any different? Isn't this too just another part of "real life"?


"faceless" friends?

Friendship. It's defined in the dictionary as "one attached to another by affection or esteem" and "a favored companion". Are "virtual" friends any less valuable than "IRL" friends. If friendship is refined as support, sharing, laughter and loyalty... then yes, internet and gaming based friendships are "real". But how can you call someone who you have never seen and never met a "friend"? Are friends without faces any less real? In some ways, I think a faceless friend can be "more" real... in the virtual world friendships are based on words alone... just as valid a basis as "I work with her" or "he's my cousin". In fact words or a familiar voice in an online game might even be a more valid basis for friendship because we are not influenced by visual cues such as age, appearance, etc. In real life I might not actually take the time to REALLY listen to someone half my age, or to someone with pink hair, tattoos and piercings... someone so different from me. When we finally do meet these people, I'm sure that sometimes there is surprise at their physical appearance... but the overriding emotion seems to be joy at finally meeting a friend and being able to physically give them a hug. The Destructoid pictures from PAX are full of hugs and smiles - a greeting of true friends. There is a sense of excitement in those pictures, I don't know how to describe it except to say that I rarely see such an unconditional sense of "I love you man".

It's not unusual for people from online communities to become friends, or even to meet in person. Many websites are filled with such small cliques of people that often have their own insider jokes and relationships. I think what impresses me most is that Destructoid seems so incredibly inclusive. From a new person's perspective there do seem to be some smaller groups that inhabit the forums, chat or even other sites... but they don't seem to be exclusionary "cliques" - they all seem welcoming to anyone (that's a general perspective anyway). The site doesn't even seem to have the common problem of "new" vs "old" - new members are rarely regarded with suspicion and usually warmly welcomed, particularly if they show some effort. The site owners and staff are also active, personable and really care about the community... and it shows and is reciprocated.

All in all, I guess I just want to congratulate myself. Apparently I had the good taste to choose Destructoid as my community when I went looking for a gaming site. The recent PAX photos, blogs and stories merely confirm my suspicions that I not only made the right choice... but that Destructoid seems quite capable of offering me something more than just being a great community - it's a community capable of giving me the "warm fuzzies"... and I'm not usually a "warm fuzzy" kind of gal!



... ok, I'm gonna have to go randomly kill people in some game in gruesome manners now... or kick a puppy or something... I'm getting all mushy here...

It's funny, but I started writing this blog thinking that creating a sexy female character game seems easy... giant boobs and partial nudity seems to please most men (gauging by the blogs on characters like Bayonetta), however I was specifically thinking about male characters. This just seems more difficult. In the past we've had our pretty boys:


... a big no for any guy with longer hair than me, or that looks prettier than me, or that looks like he's 15

We' ve also had those "over the top" manly men with gargantuan muscles like most any guy created by Epic, and of course Kratos, Matt Hazard and Duke Nukem:


... another big no for any guy that looks like he uses steroids and probably has a teenie weenie.

Recently though, we're starting to see some sexy guys in video games. These are kind of average guys with realistic body types. They are "manly" men consistent with western concepts of attractive. They are also older, more mature men. They are men like:


Chris Redfield... a bit young, but yummy.


Altair... mostly hidden adding a bit of mystery, but a strong manly face.


Nathan Drake... Physically he's an average guy... a guy you might actually want to take home to meet the parents


Sam Fisher.... mmmmmm.... love that rough look and that he's been married. There something very sexy about a guy who knows commitment and had a daughter.


... my personal favorite - Old Snake. Yeah, I'm biased because my husband is over 50 and has a gray mustache - but for an old guy, Snake still has buns of steel!


Now of course I have my own tastes in what is "sexy" and I'm sure other ladies will have different tastes... but I do think that developers are getting closer in creating some attractive male characters - but who do you think is sexy? Why do you think they are sexy? What would be your ideal sexy game character? If you like women, do you like the current trend in unrealistic females with massive boobs, tiny waists, long legs and practically no clothes? Many women seem to find "realistic" males more attractive - would men find a more realistically rendered female more attractive, more sexy?

Men are very visual in their sexual response (which accounts for the huge sale of women's lingerie), while I think that women tend to be more emotional in their sexual response. I think this makes it more difficult to create a sexy male character because you have to give him an appealing character and history. Sam Fisher being married makes him a more attractive character to me. What about the men on this site - is there some type of personality, background, history that makes a female character more appealing?

... and I'd love to see this as a monthly musing at some future point if they are looking for ideas. I think it's good for developers to get a better idea of what contributes to creating an "attractive" video game character.

So my own qualifications for a "sexy" video game character are roughly the following:
* a rough and tumble manly look (like Sam) that is realistic
* mature... in that vague age range between 35 and 50
* he's been in a committed relationship, either married or has been married (because commitment is sexy, being a male slut isn't sexy)
* he's had kids (cause being a dad is sexy)
* a sense of humour! (yes, those Battlefield Bad Company guys were smokin hot sexy)
* he has a reason to kill (and isn't just blindly killing so called "bad guys")
* he has a nice butt! (yeah, I'm a a butt-gal. A nice tight set of buns you could bounce a quarter off of is sexy!)

What's your list?

Yes, troll hunting and elimination has become a popular and time consuming sport in most internet communities. I've often expressed my general feelings on trolls, and secretly have a bit of an affection for the underdog troll, and I feel one should also look at some of the positive purposes that trolls can serve.

1) They break up the monotony of "good" reading. When all the blogs or comments are "good" then it can become a bit boring. When someone comes along with a personal attack, an outrageously stupid comment, or a blog meant to incite - then admit it... don't you watch that thread? Don't you sit back, grab a bag of popcorn and wait for the fireworks? It's entertainment.

2) They instill a sense of superiority. When you see a pitifully poor blog, don't you suddenly feel like the best blogger in the world? Even if you can manage to string together two paragraphs and use a spell checker - you, yes you, are superior. No need to compete with those long, well formulated blogs that will likely get promoted to the front page... the bar has been lowered and suddenly everyone has moved up the food chain.

3) They can help bond the community together. When an obvious troll goes on the attack with a "Destrucoid sucks" blog or comment, there is a stronger feeling of community as everyone pulls out the pitchforks, fires up their torches... and the villagers march as one in defense of their home.

4) They provide an aggression outlet. We all have those bad hair days. Those days when you just want to kick a puppy - and look! - there's a handy troll! Poke him with a stick... taunt him a few times to see him puff up and do his little troll dance. Feels better doesn't it! When these random idiot trolls aren't available, members have been known to turn on their own - never a good thing even if they kiss and make up later. The tensions are often still there and the community has been breached. Trolls inadvertently provide a handy target for those aggressions.

So yes, trolls do add a certain "spice" to internet life and to online communities. They keep things interesting, they keep the bar a little lower so we can feel good about ourselves and they draw a community closer together. The problems of course occur with persistent trolls or with the bigger, stronger, smellier "breeding" stock of trolls - those that can grow into an annoying troll horde. While moderation can be helpful in banning these bigger trolls and sending them off to live in other online habitats, they often find their way back - and we all know the answer - the answer of course is not to feed them.

Yes, it's hard not to feed the trolls. They're obvious and annoying as they loudly stamp their big hairy feet, whining and crying in their quest for attention, and it's difficult to resist the urge to whack them over the head ... but resist we must! There are two proven methods of human resistance... the first involves screaming into a pillow, the second involves furious typing into notepad with a mandatory internet disconnection. Should neither of these methods work, be aware that you are growing hairy and developing a pungently offensive odor and risk turning into a troll yourself.
Trolls exude a strong unpleasant odor. When reading a blog or comment, if you feel your nose wrinkling and go "ewww"... chances are strong you have encountered a Troll. If you smell no odor and on reading a blog your first instinct is to respond with profanity or a dissertation about how the author is wrong (and the likelihood that their mother was unmarried at the time of their birth), then you may in fact be morphing into a Troll yourself. Once you get hairy feet and become a troll, the original troll has successfully bred (yes, you've been screwed) and the trolls are winning.

It really all comes down to common sense and an adage I've always preached...

If you feed a troll, you have to adopt it.

The smaller, weaker trolls are delicate creatures. When encountering one of these smaller trolls, approach with caution as they have been known to bite! Any sudden motions or posts may startle the little troll and cause a rise in aggressive behavior, so try to keep quiet and simply observe the troll as it plays with itself! (double entendre intended!). If you feel that you can train the troll, then feel free to offer it a tidbit if you want to adopt it and have it to follow you home.

Many of these smaller trolls are actually inadvertent trolls. They don't actually know that they are trolls. They just jump into a community and may see large comment numbers on one paragraph blogs filled with bad spelling and grammar and so they follow the popular samples. They may have a unique way of writing that can initially come across as arrogant, elitist or pretentious. They may not understand the difference between a blog post and a forum post. They may have a distinct console bias (which doesn't mean that they are trying to create a flame war or "hate" the other console... just that they really like their console choice). They may even be a resident troll... someone some people just love to hate. They may be young, English may not be their first language, or they might be old and senile like myself. While many of these smaller trolls may never produce a decent blog worthy of the front page - many might turn out to be fun people to game with that contribute to the community in other ways. These are often potentially adoptable trolls.



Now when you feed a troll and adopt it, it will usually do one of two things, it will quickly learn the unwritten house rules and may gradually be trained into a valued community member... or it may bite the hand that fed it and may even go on a rampage for more food. This often manifests itself in the "everybody hates me" blog or the "I hate everybody" blog. They might then proceed to publicly and proudly belch, fart, burp and leave their litte piles of crap scattered throughout the community. Just remember that if you adopted this troll, this is now your responsibility! You now have to cut off it's food supply and hope it will move on in search of food elsewhere.

So in conclusion, consider adopting a troll! Many of the smaller trolls have very human-like feelings. Handle them with care and they may turn out to be a wonderful asset to the community in some form. With the larger, smellier trolls who's only purpose is to advertise some god-awful comic stip, or incite wrath through personal attacks or aggressive attention-whoring - these trolls are wild, feral - unadoptable. Don't feed them and keep your distance! Get to know the difference. No community is truly complete without a few random trolls, but one has to be wary and avoid the feral trolls.

Please feel free to sign up for some of our courses on the "Care and Training of your Troll" Some of the workshops offered include:
"Taking your Troll out in Public" - what you can expect, special precautions to take, safety and legal requirements (yes, the troll muzzle is still a requirement).
"Dressing your Troll" - a fashion show with some adorable lil troll outfits, muzzles and harnasses! Cute hats that hide the face and fashion friendly outfits that hide those diaper lines!
"Letting your Troll play with other Trolls" - a lively discussion is to be expected regarding the use of foam toys and the most effective use of pepper spray or firehose control methods."
Sign up now!