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Elsa avatar 12:49 PM on 08.25.2012
I'm a lesbian pedophile?


Me and my .... wife?

I love Dragon's Dogma! I've played most of the WRPG games out there and Dragon's Dogma blends the best of character customization, open world, quest driven tropes with some interesting and totally awesome battle mechanics. One thing that remains consistent for me though, is the terrible romance outcome. I have yet to encounter a satisfactory romance in a video game. I dumped the whiny Anomen, I've been dumped by Alistair, I killed the psychotic Anders, and Fenris just wanted to be "friends". In Fable and Skyrim I couldn't find a cute guy and eventually married some random guy. Dragon's Dogma totally surprised me though. I wasn't entirely aware of the "romance" options in the game until suddenly I'm in a cut scene where my older gray haired female ranger is making out with the very young, virginal, barely pre-pubescent Duchess. I did nothing to encourage her feelings for me (though I do make a strikingly gorgeous old broad) and after my first romantic scene with her I even started actively giving presents to an assortment of male characters to hopefully change any future romantic encounters. Alas, apparently the fair Aelinore and I were meant to be, for near the end of the game I got to do the dirty deed with this young girl and she has apparently moved into my home as my spouse. I'm not particularly happy about this. It's yet another bad romance to add to my growing list of WTF? video game romance moments for me, however what I do find interesting is that there seems no uproar on the internetz about the lack of choice and the apparent commonality of gay (and/or underaged) romances in the game. My little wife is at least an older teenager, because some people ended up romancing Symone - an actual child.


... at least I didn't end up with her!

Others who played as males seemed to end up in loving same-sex relationships with the local inkeepers or shopkeepers. In fact, unless you were aware of the romance options and really worked the game, it seems that many people ended up living in their little love shack with rather surprising significant others!

In recent Bioware games there have been gay romance options... but the key word is "options". There was still an uproar from some on the religious right who felt offended that the option was even there. They disliked that there was gay flirtation, even though they had every opportunity to ignore the flirtations and to simply try to bed a partner of their choosing. Any actual romance cut scenes were mostly chosen by the gamer, whereas Dragon's Dogma offered no such "do you wanna do me?" moment. Instead the very randomness of the romance outcomes seems to have evoked mostly amusement at the creepiness of the outcomes from most gamers. I'm not sure why there are no protests - possibly the fact that it's a Japanese developer has given the game a pass from gamers, and unlike Bioware games, the "romances" are quite secondary within the game. The "doing it" scene in Dragon's Dogma isn't very graphic and mostly consists of a heated embrace and some kissing, followed by laying down on the bed and a fade to black. Still, I think there were a lot of gamers that were surprised at the choice given near the end of the game... save your beloved or fight the dragon. I suspect there were a lot of gamers like me that simply walked away and said "kill them" - that's not my beloved... just some random dude/chick that I definitely don't want to be with - which rather negates the seriousness of the game moment. Still, sometimes a touch of comedy and surprise works in a game, and it was definitely a "memorable" moment when I found out who my "beloved" was! I suspect that the romances were tacked on to the game, possibly in response to the popularity of romances in the Dragon Age games. In some ways I'm glad that they didn't work too hard on the romances in Dragon's Dogma - the randomness kinda works in a quirky, silly way. The selling point for the game is the battle system and they were right to put the work into the various classes, the ability to change your class and the way it completely changes gameplay. In many WRPG games the class you choose makes almost no difference at all. In this game, it most definitely does and there are advantages to trying out various different classes (because you retain the core skills and have a larger selection of augments to use).

I started the game 19 days ago and currently have 180 hours into the game (yeah, that's just over 9 hours a day playing... though I'm still recovering from surgery and there were times when I was idle and snoozing). The game has been really addictive and time has flown by and any pain is entirely dulled by my immersion in this fascinating world. Finding out that I'm a lesbian pedophile didn't make the game any worst, it didn't want to make me want to start threads on various forums protesting that I was forced into a gay romance - instead it made me laugh and wonder if I can get a different result in New Game + (a second run through of the game but retaining stats, items, etc. from the initial run through). I still have lots left to do (including killing that Ur-Dragon), but I guess I'll just have to resign myself to bad video game romances! Luckily I have a pretty good real life romance, but please don't tell my husband that I'm shacked up with a young girl in my virtual world! :)


Me... in my younger, happier days before shacking up with the Duchess and trying to kill those DAMN STONE GOLUMS!! Dragons are wusses compared to stone golums when you're now a Magick Archer. I'm gonna have to go back to the Ranger class for them.


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