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Intertoids Tale Three: The Longest Fantastical Star - Destructoid




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Hello there, I'm just some teenage kid who likes games, and likes to talk about them. I plan on mostly doing reviews of newer games and opinion pieces on the current going-ons in the industry.

I have another blog at NigmaBox Where I do random game and anime reviews. No longer posting them here, because I like writing, but not posting. I also am doing a narrative that is somewhat fanfiction with some Dtoid people, somewhat internet critique, but mostly insanity, check it out Here.

I am winging everything that I do, so if I mess up please tell me, although please be kind about it. Since I always assume the worse when I read text from another person and have to force myself to read and respond you the comments of you lovely people, because I am a wimp like that.
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Okay, going for yet one more! I have plans to make this into a series, and now to reuse one of my ideas for lore! This time it is centered around Tara Long of the Destructoid Show, because it is easy to do these when the person is seen doing video work. Also, I am really not saying much about her, I’m pretty much just using these people as framing devices... Just read my words!

Sorry for the lack of pictures, but if you have some you think would fit, please direct me to them via link, or email them to me at Electnigma@gmail.com. And if you are wondering where the second one is, I will only post Intertoids relating to Destructoid member. I did one on Yahtzee, and it, along with all other posts, can be found here I will post one every Sunday for probably nine more weeks.

It was the aftermath of yet another live stream of the Destructoid, and the cast of Max Scoville and Tara Long were returning home. There are two stories here, but let us stick with Tara for now. After taking her commute back to her home, she was surprised to discover a package addressed to her. The package was about the size of a DVD case, so it might be a game someone forgot to tell her she would be playing for a review during this crowded holiday season. But something about the package was unsettling it her. Namely how it was a deep shade of purple as opposed to the orangish tan normal packaging. Also, why would it go to her house, and not Revision3 studios? After all, she worked there and it would be safer if the publisher was afraid of their games getting leaked.

After getting comfortable at her home and making a little something for dinner, she opened the package and it revealed not a game, but a rectangular black tome of sorts. It felt as light as a game case, yet was still oddly uncomfortable to hold. She examined the tome further and she uncovered a gemstone that, upon touching, caused her to pass out on her couch.

Tara woke up in a daze, her body felt stiff and her surroundings replaced by that of a cabin made of stone and wood and her couch replaced by a bed full of hay with a thin piece of cloth over her. This confused her, how did she go from San Francisco to what looked like a house from the middle ages. Also, what happened to her clothes? She now had a white robe on, which felt very irritating on her skin. She then left the small bedroom she was in and found what looked like a medieval armory. She thought this might be a museum, but the lack of plaques describing every item made me abandon that idea.

She wandered off through this unfamiliar place, looking for clues regarding her location, or just something more comfortable. After nearly fifteen minutes of walking along stone corridors and occasionally walking up stairs, she felt one of the rocks supporting her bare feet sink downward. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out this was a trap. Tara was still startled as the room was sealed by iron doors, and she saw the walls leak a green gas and liquid. Running to the corner and using her uncomfortable robe to block out the gas, she was horrified to say the least. Unfortunately, the robe was not enough to keep the gas out of her lungs, and when she inhaled a decent puff, she fell.

She awoke once more, in the same room as before. Tara lifted herself up with surprising ease, and noticed that her robe was replaced by a white pelt of sort that covered her torso, upper arms and upper legs. It was more than a little awkward to wear, yet it was refreshingly comfortable. As she was examining herself, she realized how her body was far more tone and fit that it was before. But upon examining her clothing, she found that it had a mildly large hole in the crotch region. Perhaps this was a man’s clothing that someone put her in. however, when she tried to determine whether or not she had any underwear on, she discovered something very disconcerting. A penis.

After the initial shock, Tara tried to think it away, and, well it did. She thought for it to come out, and it did, except this time it was about a foot in length, and she could manipulate it so it was barely sticking out, or it could be the size of her legs. It could move in any direction she wanted to, and was really more like a Tail. So she decided that would be a better and less embarrassing name for it, so she want with that.

After getting a tad used to the Tail, she continued through the stone caverns, pushing pressure plates to open one-way doors, and as if the universe was yanking her chain, she was outside in a lush green field after two minutes. Fan-freakin-tastic! Outside of the small visible section of the dungeon she was in, she found a brown horse with a white mane. Well, calling it a horse was a bit rash. Namely due to how it lacked any eyes or had a saddle with sockets for limbs built into its body. Tara attempted to interact with the creatures, which did notice her, but did nothing but move its head. She looked around and only saw more greenery, meaning that no one was nearby to claim this horse. And since there was no way into the dungeon that she could find, she decided that nobody would mind if she used this horse for a bit.

She had ridden horses before, so getting on was not overly difficult, even then the horse did not react as she got on it. After trying to use the odd saddle, she found something near her crotch reason, a hole. With much discomfort, she brought out her tail and stuck it in the whole, only to have her body sink into the sockets and be locked in.

After a brief second of darkness, she was now viewing the same field through a different angle, that of the horse-like creature. She backed up in confusion, which was oddly natural, and then heard a voice. It was oddly her Mother’s, with the same inflictions and wording, but the gist of it was that she needed to follow a trail that the horse-like creature, which she referred to as a Centaur-set. With no other leads, Tara thought it was best to follow the anonymous entity that was mimicking the voice of her Mother, because that is always a good sign for a trustworthy individual. But seeing as she could not get out of this horse, she was pretty much stuck

She rode through the prairies, wind in her mane, her large heart beating a pleasing rhythm. And when she found a small pond, she looked down and realized that the Centaur-set she was controlling had morphed into one that was a light tan with a red mane, oddly enough. Meanwhile, her body was lying there, in some form of temporary coma. Her body looked so peaceful, but was a bit uncanny looking, seeing as how Tara had not seen her normal form since the gas altered her. Yet, the changes were all positive, with a better body than her original one waiting, she rushed through the easy going and windy field and made it to her destination by sunset. She was not sure when she left eh cave, time seemed to fly as she was galloping about.

After searching around for a bit, a flash of darkness hit her again as she was back in her human body. Except, she was no longer in a pelt, she was in some form or light metal and leather armor. How this came about was of little concern to her, due to the immense rumbling of her stomach. After all, she had not eaten anything today as herself or the horse, and who knows how long she was out for, since who knows how long the gas knocked her out for. She loosened her limbs from the sockets, and the Centaur-set stood there, with its only motion being the same rhythmic breath she’d been making for a few hours. Although, he normal breathing was still more natural to her.

Her destination was a small home at the foot of a small mountain. After landing a few audible knocks, a young woman who was in armor that looked just like Tara’s, opened the door and invited her in. Apparently she’d been expected, since there was a small feast of sorts lying out for her and presumably the greeter. The greeter said that talking can wait, now it is time to eat. And they did, they dug in with little regard for table manners, because who really gave a damn? But as an odd note, Tara found herself digging into the meats on the table despite how she never used to be big on any. Perhaps it was due to how it was the only real source of protein available. After the two finished their feast, Tara glanced around the house, it reminded her a lot of Skyrim, with animal hides, wood and cobblestone making up most of the house.

After the meal, the woman told Tara that they would be going to the city to conclude their mission. Despite never hearing about this, Tara somehow knew where the city was, and that these women had been traveling for several weeks to do... Something. The four went to bed shortly after, Tara feeling oddly comfortable while resting in the skin of an animal.

They woke up at the crack of dawn and all got on a Centaur-sets, feeling as invigorated as ever. The two galloped across the plains and around the mountains until by mid day they reached a massive city. Neither talked much, and this was presumably just business for the young woman, who revealed her name to be Raine. What, with how easily and emotionlessly she want between the rock formations.

The city looked like something out of the Italian Renaissance, and odd departure from the stone filled world she’d seen thus far. But Raine did not seem interested in the shops or the painters and artisans on every corner. Instead she went to the center of the city, which seemed very... Rural in comparison. Well, that might be a bit generous, seeing as how it had naked people roaming around like cattle. Tara only now realized that there had been no men around in the city, and there were only women, she had almost even forgotten about her Tail that was, for all do respect, a multi-purpose penis.

However, the men were apparently in one place, this center farm-like area. It was nothing much beyond a loft of dirt and poo, which made it seem odd that they’d center their city around it. Unfortunately, Tara was too distracted by the appearance of these men, who were drenched in brown stained hair, and had no penis that was visible. However, they still had ball sacks, although they were pretty swollen. Well, it was more like there were ones with slightly larger ones, and ones where they looked to be holding basket balls as they dragged in the muck. Needless to say, the sight was pretty damn gross.

This was her destination, but for what? Shen she asked Raine, she said it was to procreate. Tara was shocked. How could she even have sex with what looked like homeless people if they had rolled in the sewers? But the very idea did something she had surprisingly not experienced. She was somehow aroused by that idea, yet it was most likely her Tail acting up, it wanted her to go.

After rummaging through the only clear trail in this, place, I suppose shithole is a bit of a pun, but it pretty much sums it up. The two found what looked like some kind of cheap motel, except made of cobblestone. And there was a female receptionist, who gave them both a room number after looking at a sheet. Tara was confused, although she felt compelled to go there and ask these disgusting men what is going on. Upon entering the room, she found it to be surprisingly nice, well furnished with fresh flowers emitting a pleasing fragrance. And a bed that looked to be filled with cotton, rather than hay. And the man she saw looked to be groomed. He was still hairy, but it was trimmed and looked presentable. He was also free of shit, yet still butt naked. And it was only now that she realized that it was these “men” had what looked like Vaginas, which made her Tail emerge from the crotch hole in her armor.

The tail bursted out and pounded the man straight to the wall. The pumping motion was uncomfortable , yet felt oddly empowering and comforting. After twenty minutes of pounding the man against a wall, keeping herself a good meter away, Tara felt herself zone out, as if she drank enough alcohol to make her pass out within the course of three seconds. Her vision faded out, focusing on her tail, and then something odd happened, she appeared to be looking at herself through a fleshy filter and from a lower viewpoint. She tried moving, yet could not in the slightest, her body left the room leaving the door open as cheers consumed Tara’s now far more sensitive vision. She couldn’t make out much, but it sounded like Raine and a few other young women were lifting up Tara’s body, with her tail still loose and looking longer than it had before, while shouting, “Tara the Longest!”

Tara tried to scream, but nothing happened. As she was struggling towards the door out of the room, she felt her entire body and her surroundings get up. As Tara saw a hairy hand appear, and she recognized her height, she realized something, she was not in the man’s testicle, not sure which one though. Apparently this was one majorly screwed up world where men were slaves and used as child carrying vessels, while women were dominant. Based on her mumbled hearings, she understood that she was going to have good blood upon birth, and would get to see the one they referred to as “The Longest”.

It was several months later, and she had forgotten about so much, her old life, old world, and even minor customs, as she was being reborn, her mind became blank, just forgetting information over the course of what was a year, until the one day, after months, of being so heavy and large that the Carrier, as she now knew these men as, had to sit to not disturb her growth, Tara was reborn, but not as someone resembling her former self, despite being the spitting image of the one known as “Tara the Longest”. She was just an infant with good breeding, and also had a brother Carrier next to her, who was literally thrown in a bin for not having the proper traits. It may seem wrong to us, while to this new Tara and her world, it was proper justice.

...Yes, all of these will center around the destruction of the self. And yes, this is probably the most deviant the world will become. Notice how I said world, and not story. Because trust me, we are just getting started. You know who is next, and it will be getting pretty Regulos if you know what I am referencing.

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