So there might be good spots to fill up them 50 squares in the new Smash bros. game after all. I can see it now, falling off the ledges 3 times before I learn to master this over-sugared ape....

There are many ways in which one can master the art of creeping people out and attain the nirvana that is having people not bother you with their meddlesome "relationships" or 'friendships'. However, if done carelessly, this will not result in individual solitude, but a ruthless, and well-deserved, mocking. Thus emo-style creepiness is out.

True creepiness can be achieved only through the subtle manipulation of others. The main objective being to lure these unwanted acquaintances to believe you have to be joking, then, with the best and deepest amount of creepness you can muster, calmly inform them that no, you did keep that nail that fell off your foot, that you really dig this girl, and finally, name yourself after a tasty Mexican dish because, you explain, it's kinda like a sexy double-entendre.

If these methods fall short, there are more reliable methods, but which come at the price of personal comfort. One example would be to have the undesirable person discover you lying face down on concrete in 115 degree weather, preferably on their own garage/sidewalk. Another one would be to place a human spinal cord (carefully preserved and in a jar, naturally) in an unobtrusive place in a bookshelf or near your television. When the person invariably asks what it is, simply respond with sincerity, adding a touch of child-like wide-eyed wonder.

I would advise all people in need of a higher creep factor to start slow and build up so as to not strain any muscles or put unnecessary pressure on their patellas. Please remember to moderate your daily intake, and to operate as much machinery as you can in order to achieve the maximum effect possible.

Congratulations!

After reading until this point, you are now one step closer to being a creep!