Quantcast
Community Discussion: Blog by El Dango | El Dango's ProfileDestructoid
El Dango's Profile - Destructoid

DestructoidJapanatorTomopopFlixist





click to hide banner header
About

Hi, here's a fave game list, everyone else have them (no order):

Ape Escape
Batman: Arkham City
Beyond Good & Evil
Doom
Octodad: Dadliest Catch
Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Pacman Championship Edition DX
QWOP
Rayman Legends
Shadow of the Colossus
Sonic 2
Tekken 3
Tetris
Wario Land 2

(NOTE: I'm only putting one game per franchise now, for variety's sake. Some choices that I really truly love have therefore been removed. Doesn't mean that I love them any less.)

I also strongly enjoy series like Zelda, Burnout, Mario, Sly Cooper, Ratchet & Clank, InFamous, Jak & Daxter, GTA, Saints Row, Splinter Cell, Worms and Metal Gear Solid, as well as tons of indie games like Limbo and Guacamelee. I'm not putting any of these at the absolute top though, great as they might be. If I did, this list would be crazy long, and I prefer to keep it short and personal.

Platformers are my favourite genre, followed by third-person action adventures. I do enjoy a wide variety of genres though, with the only ones I tend to dislike being RPGs and, to some extend, RTSs (go ahead and pronounce that last one). I'm usually open to action games of any kind.
Player Profile
PSN ID:MikHoest
Steam ID:MikHoest
Follow me:
El Dango's sites
Badges
Following (4)  

El Dango
5:59 PM on 06.03.2014

E3 is pretty neat. If it's not the center of fun video game hype, then at least it gets to be a source of things to mock. But I'm still mostly in it for the video games and the hype, which is fun while it lasts.

So now I'm gonna talk about the (potentially) upcoming video games that give me girlwood!

Batman: Arkham Knight

This one is set in stone, and it's gonna kick so much ass! Arkham Asylum is damn good, and Arkham City is one of my favourite games, so this is going to be a big deal for me. I am in love with the idea of driving the Batmobile in one of these games. It is all I ever wanted from a City sequel, and it looks even better than my wildest dreams.

Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty

No, of course it's not gonna suck, it's gonna be amazing! The original Abe's Oddysee is also a favourite of mine, and this remake/reimagining/reboot/whatever has 'YES' written all over it. It is gorgeous to look at, and the gameplay seems to have been tightened up. The addition of scrolling is really neat as well, and it helps making the environment come to life.

Oddworld's official twitter has revealed that the game is going to be at E3, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it there.

Beyond Good & Evil 2

This is totally not going to happen, and I won't even dare to hope, but if it did, I would still be pretty excited.

The Last Guardian

Would be the same as above, but I actually think this is a bit more plausible at this point, due to Sony's current position. Maybe if I cross my fingers extra hard this year.

New DOOM

A new DOOM is definitely being made, whether we like it or not. We might have reason to like it, though, as the most recent Wolfenstein is apparently pretty competent and surprisingly open ended and fast paced, which is exactly what I expect from a DOOM game (fuck DOOM 3).

Anything Ape Escape

Either a new game, or a rerelease of the old ones on PSN. The fact that the latter has yet to be done is still mind boggling to me. It's such a sensible thing to do, yet for some reason, it's not being done. Instead, we get a bunch of mediocre movie tie-ins. Excuse me for being bitter!

Sunset Overdrive

The Xbone (I refuse to call it by its real name, cause it's stupid) used to be known for restrictions and terrible features, but I think it still has a chance of being a system with some cool games. One of these would be Sunset Overdrive.

Now, while this game is a bit too 'zombie apocalypse'-esque than I would prefer, it makes up for it by looking like legit fun. It helps that Insomniac is doing it, as those guys are quite the fun gurus.

Playstation All-Stars Team Racing

Wait what?

(As seen on one of those 'super legit' E3 leak lists):



Fucking yes much? I didn't even know I wanted this until recently, but holy shit, that is the best idea! The Playstation All-Stars cast, but in a kart racer, driving around on tracks based off of different games. A Metropolis track! A Rapture track! A Time Station track! A Shadow Moses track! An El Dango creaming his pants track!

I know it's silly, but fuck it, so is the fighting game idea. Give me a kart racer with Heihachi and Sir Daniel!


none of this shit is gonna come true and I'm gonna cry
Photo








When you set out to remake a classic game, there is a general assumption that this should be a fun, passionate way to introduce a new audience to a great series, while letting older fans experience their warm childhood memories in an entirely new way, with the ultimate goal of bringing people together through quality entertainment.

...



If you think this is the case, you are, in factual fact, a shitty poopy face! Oh, and a total casual!

No, deciding to do anything with a franchise, be it a remake, re-release, reboot, Reebok, sequel, prequel, interquel, outerquel, antiquel or anyotherquel, you sign a contract in your own blood, one which makes you a slave of the existing fanbase, destined to fulfill the desire of those superior beings, who have proven their worth through purchasing every single piece of merchandise the franchise has ever produced.


(Pictured: ‹bermensch!)

If they fail to do this, however, they will face eternal damnation in Video Game Hell for their horrible sins! It's just a fact of life. None shall dare to defile the original classics that we so know and love by making these... changes.. argh, even typing that word nauseates me deeply. Why make changes? Every developer always get everything perfectly right the first time, so why do you think anything could be improved?

Sadly, this brings us to Just Add Water, whose efforts to redo the 1997 video game Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee, have been less than satisfactory, for reason that are obvious†to anyone who isn't a filthy casual! Still, I have nothing important to do today, so here's a list of facts:

It looks way too good!



I mean come on! Is this video games, or is it freakin' Miss Universe?

Oddworld is supposed to be a dark place where dark things happen all the time! Why is it suddenly so pretty then? This is just like back when those idiots made a Battlefield 3 mod that removed the dark filter, making everything much more colourful.†

Do some people just not get how actual enviroments work in real life? You know, how they change colour and shape based on people's emotions? I mean really, you'd think these people would get their fucking geology right.

FACT!

A good checkpoint system is for casuals!




No, no, no, fuck quicksaves! Fuck them!

REAL gamers don't use that shit! REAL gamers play for glory, not for fun! REAL gamers play through everything in one sitting, no matter how long it might take! REAL gamers poop in a bucket on the floor!

So why cater to filthy, disgusting casuals? Casuals are a cancer! Cancuals!

FACT!

The sounds are different!




All us fans ever wanted in this modern day, high definition re-imagining is to hear those good old, highly compressed, low qualtiy noises.

So what's with all this new shit? Our eardrums aren't used to this! You want us the adjust to this scary new environment? Sure, it might be the same guy doing a lot of the same voices, but it still doesn't sound†exactly†the same, so what even the fuck?

Kids these days don't know what real sound is, I tell you! It's all that hippety-hop and wubbety-wub that's been melting their brains!

FACT!

Mushrooms!



FUCK mushrooms!

FACT!

It's too bright!




Speaking as a true, hardcore, master race gamer, I hate the light! I never use night vision in Splinter Cell, nor do I like being able to see shit in general. Let's be honest here guys, being able to see shit is dumb, and it needs to stop!

So what's the deal with being able to see shit in New 'n' Tasty? For fuck's sake, JAW, do you just hate me that much? I want everything to be so dark that everything blurs together into a horrible mess! Fuck visual feedback, it's for cancuals!

Are these things really too much to ask for?? Christ!

FACT!

Perspective!


Perspective is bad. It's bad because it's different. Everything was seen from the side in the original game, but now the camera shows off different angles of the environment, and that's terrible.

FACT!

Scrolling!




Scrolling is bad. It's bad because it's different. Everything was split into individual screen in the original, but now the camera is dynamic and follows Abe around like some stupid pet, and that's terrible.

FACT!

It doesn't even make full use of Next Gen Blast Processing!



What is indie developers' problem? Why do they insist on not using their tiny budgets to make huge budget, quadruple-A games? What is wrong with people? Is it really that hard to make a game in which every single little prop has its own set of physics, and where even the tiniest cockroach is made in great detail? That's just lazy, if you ask me!

I want to be able to see every pore in Abe's blue-ish, lizard-like skin, yet JAW can't even make that wish come true! If they were truly passionate, they should be able to make a game that makes my PS4 overheat and explode within the first five minutes of gameplay! Anything else is unacceptable!

FACT!

These cactuses don't look cactusy enough!



Fuck you, JAW!


(I love you, JAW, you've done a brilliant job!)
Photo Photo Photo








Goddammit!

FUCK!

It's HARD!

But whatever, it'll have to do:

1. Iím not entirely satisfied with internet/nerd culture

When I say this, I mean that too many people within this culture (though not all) need to get over themselves, their interests and their perspective in life. Anger, bigotry and stupidity have become a standard online, and while itís understandable that this can be hard to control, I think that a lot of people arenít trying nearly hard enough. People, please calm down. Accept and respect those who are different than you, and donít make a stink because someone donít share your interests. Donít let the rage take over, itís just gonna end badly for yourself. I do believe that things can change for the better, but itís going to take some effort from a lot of people. You can help.

2. I like starting out on a serious note so I can end on a fun one

As you can seeÖ

3. One day Iíd like to be a game designer

I donít just like playing games, I like inspecting them and finding out what makes them work as experiences. At this point, I already have a set of basic design philosophies ready, based on little elements within games that I enjoy, compared to those that I donít. My priorities wouldnít be size, ambition or impressive technological achievements.

Currently Iím about to finish studying multimedia design, which Iím gonna use as some sort of distant starting point. One thing I want to do is to embrace the modern day Ďcinematicí types of games, and then steer them in a more ďgame-yĒ direction, as Iíve always been one to play for challenge rather than escapism. Iíd primarily be using cinema tricks to do stuff like hype up boss battles. Speaking ofÖ

4. I fucking love boss battles!

They are the best! The more unique and memorable they are, the better! I love all types of them too, from the grand and spectacular (most of them) to the quiet and tense (The End, Mr. Freeze..).†

Boss battles are the coolest thing in video games forever!

5. My taste in music makes no sense

Iím a big fan of hard rock/metal. I also really enjoy trance. Isnít that weird?
It doesnít stop there of course, but those two are the big ones. The fact that I listen to AC/DC as much as I listen to Armin van Buuren, being a big fan of both, doesnít really seem to connect. Itís a bit like if someone has a long playlist equally divided between polka and dubstep. Canít explain it, wonít explain it, next point.

6. I adore grilling!

I am the biggest carnivore youíll ever meet. Vegetables are not food, they are food accessories! My absolute favourite dish in the whole world is ribs, very closely followed by the common steak. And both of these are, of course, best on a grill. Itís a passion that I share with my dad, and the two of us have had many spontaneous trips to a store in the search of some good meat.

Grilling is awesome too because it usually means sunshine and warm weather, which is the best weather! You poetic types can keep your rain and snow and shitty clouds, Iíll have me some good old shine!

7. I love Photoshop

If things were as they should be, Iíd simply be writing ďduhĒ here, but the truth is that Iíve fallen completely out of the habit of slamming together a silly image in response to a Dtoid article. That needs to change! I have too much fun doing it, and response has been mostly positive (that 90ís Steam controller boombox image I made even found its way to different websites). I promise Iíll start Photoshopping some more shit together, hopefully entertaining a ton of you in the process.

8. I never want to non-contribute

By which I mean posting and saying things that nobody can benefit from in some way. If I donít have anything potentially funny, interesting or informative to say or ask, I shut up. This especially when it comes to replying to jokes, as the last thing I want to do is take a good thing and run it into the ground. Thatís just cruel. Let the jokes breathe, I say. Never explain them either, then theyíll die.

Remember to always wipe after you poop.








It's a shame that MGSV has gotten a bit of a bad rep recently due to how expensive the whole thing is going to be if you buy both parts of it as soon as they come out. It means that a lot of people (myself included) are going to wait for a more reasonably priced complete edition, which is unfortunate. That said, I personally look forward to playing the actual game, enough so for me to make a wish list of items and weapons I'd like to see in either this game or future installments.

Being an increasingly deep series of stealth action games, Metal Gear always allows for a wide variety of tools that the player can use. Anything from grenades and combat knifes to cardboard boxes and crocodile hats is fair game here, and it's that kind of potential that often lets the imagination run wild, so here we go:

10. Stink bomb



Basically a form of long lasting stun grenade that makes enemies pass out from sickness. Unfortunately, it is every bit as effective on Snake, unless he happens to be wearing a gas mask or something (if those are even in the game). I've always liked being able to use stench againts my enemies in games, and it's way too rare that I'm allowed to do that, so I think it's about time that Metal Gear sets a smelly example.

9. Spoon



We've already had a fork, so why not? While this would be totally useless against enemies, it should allow Snake to dig tiny holes in the ground, where he might find some burried goods.

8. Boomerang



Hidden weapon. Throw it like you throw any other item, only this one will come back. Unless there's something in the way of course, at which point it will fall to the ground, ready to be picked back up.

7. Vuvuzela




Also hidden. Equip it, press the action button, and lure over tons of enemies with some goddamn CULTURE! Very effective, but also dangerous, as enemies may come from all sides. Use with caution!

6. Long sword



Definitely well hidden. MGS has already experimented with knifes and even katanas, so having Snake being like a fucking knight seems like a logical step forward. Extremely powerful against nearby enemies, for obvious reasons.

5. Time Net



This one needs an explanation: I never got to play Snake vs. Monkey, which sucks, because I fucking adore Ape Escape. They should totally bring it back, but properly, with the Time Net. Of course, the best way to do this would be to have the net be controlled by the right analog stick, as it was always meant to be. Simply unequip the item if you wish to change the camera angle, then equip it again once that damn monkey is right under your nose!

4. RC car



Another Ape Escape-inspired idea, although this one would totally work even without SvM. Also controlled by the stick, same rules as above apply. It's gonna be like War of Wonder all over again!

3. CornerShot



Developed in Israel and commonly used by SWAT teams as well as special forces, the CornerShot is handy in that it lets you fire around corners without exposing yourself to enemy fire. A perfect fit for this series if you ask me. While you could argue that this might make the game too easy, who is to say that this will only be used by you? Give it to a couple of enemies too, and I think it's fair for all.

2. Booze



Equip, press item button and watch Snake go bottoms up! He then gets super-ass drunk, and unlike in many other games, remains drunk for a long period of time. Self-imposed super hard mode! Drunken CQC! Terrible aim! Drunk driving! Hallelujah!

1. Luchador mask



The would be the kind of super secret item that's usually reserved for the second playthrough. More than a cosmetic change, this would replace basic CQC with wrestling moves! The usual throws would become suplexes and piledrives! Interrogation would have Snake hold his enemy's head in a tight grab under his arm! Basic punches would be slower, yet much more powerful! Snake would be able to body slam any enemy on the ground! Tell me you would not want all of this! Tell me!


Do you have any ideas for weird or cool items and weapons? If so, feel free to share!








Some villains are more evil than others, and these are those. Ok, have nice read.

5. Blinky (Pac Man)


Of all ghosts that Mr. Pac Woman has ever had to deal with, this is clearly the spookiest. This guy doesn't fuck around, but goes straight for the money whenever he has the chance. He simply just wants Pac Man dead, no matter what it takes, to the point of it being some sort of obsession. That's pretty damn evil if you ask me.

Why are you so evil, Blinky? Weren't you a living being too, at one point? Don't you remember how much it sucked to die? Yet this seems to be exactly what you wish upon this round, yellow cheeseball of a man. Oh Blinky, I hope you learn one day.

4. Volgin (Metal Gear Solid 3: SNAAAAKE EEEAAAATEEEEEEEEERR!!!!!)



Metal Gear usually has villains that aren't that bad, and tend to have some pretty decent motivations for what they do. Volgin nuked a fellow Russian village for the fun of it. He's quite an exception.

There's nothing about Volgin that isn't evil. He's got the evil scars, the evil laugh and the evil voice down to perfection. He has weird electric superpowers for some reason, and uses these to torture people all the time. What an ass! I bet has an evil way of doing everything. He eats in an evil manner, brushes his evil teeth in an evil manner, and shaves in an evil manner. I'm sure his entire morning routine is evil!

3. (SPOILAHS!) Neyla (Sly 2: Band of Thieves)



An unexpected choice, but it really shouldn't be. Neyla steals a lot of shit, betrays a lot of people, somehow manages to start a civil war somewhere in Prague, and directly kills her much more sympathetic boss. This is all so that she can trap her mortal body within a giant mechanical bird, and become this super powerful being named Clock-la.

What's her motivation for doing this? Beats the shit out of me! It's never really explained at any point, so all we can do is assume that she's just causing shit to come crashing down because she enjoys it, and being a huge robo-bird makes all that evil stuff much easier to do. Pretty sure that's the kind of stuff that brings you to the top of Santa's naughty list.

2. Zinyak (Saints Row IV)


It's not hard to agree with me when I say that you have to be a special kind of dickhead in order to destroy simething you like, simply to show off. But that's exactly what Zinyak did. In spite of Earth providing him with some of his favourite classic culture, and having potential to produce more, Zinyak blows up the planet because he's pissy that the leader of the Saints managed to escape from the Matrix. What a sore loser, c'mon!

He then proceeds to dick around and ruin the Saints' fun time back in the Matrix, to the point where he ruins their Biz Markie sing-along. That's just being a jerk, and totally uncalled for!

Unfortunately, there are rumours that not being included in Destructoid's 'Character of the Year 2013' list has made him even more evil. That's pretty evil!†

1. Me (Roller Coaster Tycoon 3)



Imagine if Jigsaw had a huge budget. That's a pretty scary thought, but it pales in comparison to the thought of me building an amusement park, as said park would quickly turn into a park-sized death trap.

Which one would you like to try? There's the Wallsmasher, a rollercoaster that launches you in the general direction of a large, conveniently placed stone wall. There's Buffalo Drownabout, a fairly innocent ride that just happens to be placed right over a large pool of water, with no way back to the main path. Then there's the rollercoaster named Straight to Hell, which drives you directly into a long hole in the ground. I even made that last one look like it comes around all the way, so you might fall for it even if you're not completely stupid.

No matter how you look at it, I am clearly the biggest monster in video game history. There's never been an entity in any video game that has been this devoted to making people suffer. Maybe I shouldn't have judged Blinky after all, now that it seems that there's at least three levels of evil between the two of us.

It's been fun making this list, but now I must go trap some people in a cage along with fifteen angry gorillas. And name all the people 'Testicle'.
Photo Photo Photo







El Dango
11:28 AM on 12.21.2013

ATTENTION: Resized images don't seem to work for me. If you have the same problem, just imagine those lines of code as pretty images.

The idea that water levels are inherently worse than other types of levels is not at all the fault of water levels themselves. It's mostly because swimming controls aren't that easy to get right, so many people fuck it up, and as it turns out, that's pretty much all it takes to ruin the entire experience. So, you think the Water Temple is bad? Well, that's probably because all you have in Ocarina of Time is a shitty dive, so you have to depend of the metal boots to weigh you down, and you have to equip and un-equip those through the pause menu. Of course, that's not really the dungeon's fault, it's just a flawed mechanic. But even then, there are plenty of games that do it right, yet get overlooked, so in the end the common water level is still looked down upon by a majority. Seeing as this is an injustice, I wish to stand up and speak out for water levels!

Water levels can be wonderful! The element of water adds a lot to an environment, and allows for a ton of really well made game mechanics, not to mention that it's often beautiful to look at. Being full of potential for both eye candy and interesting level design, it's not hard to understand that water levels continue to be present in video games, despite the hard times they get online. As much as you may dislike them, if they were gone, they'd leave a big, water-shaped hole in our hearts.

So here's 10 of them.

#10 - Jowai Resort (Ratchet & Clank)

[img=300x200]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/1/120804-267798-Jowaipng-620x.jpg[/img]

Ratchet & Clank has become a gigantic franchise at this point, and one that has shifted focus a bit since the beginning. Not that much, granted, but it took a very combat focused turn already by the second game, and it hasn't looked that far back ever since. Because of this, the very first game is notable for having levels that are far less like battlefields, and much more like traditional platforming levels, with a greater focus on exploration. Swimming especially was something that was done much more often in this than the sequels, and Jowai Resort probably makes the best use of swimming in the entire game. It's a level that's very basic to begin with, but it really opens up once you get the O2 mask, at which point you can swim around endlessly, exploring the level and its secrets in a completely new way. It's the kind of level that was worth going back to, and that's what earns it a spot on my meaningless list.

#9 - Aquatic Ruin Zone (Sonic the Hedgehog 2)

[img=300x200]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1b/Aquatic_Ruins_from_Sonic_2_for_Mega_Drive.png[/img]

When you think about games that have done water well, you probably won't be thinking about the Sonic games. I'd argue that this might be intentional, as water is mostly used as a mild punishment for missing a jump. The most interesting case of this would be Aquatic Ruin Zone form the second game, as this is basically split up in two "lanes". There's the dry land on top, and water on bottom. Both will lead you to the end, but the dry lane will give you a much easier time. This is in my opinion a very interesting way to design a level, and I'd like to see more be done with this idea at some point. If you want me to pick between Act 1 and Act 2, I'll go with 2, mostly because of the goofy boss.

#8 - Zora's Domain (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)

[img=300x200]http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110502041306/zelda/images/6/65/Zora_River_Target_Practice.png[/img]

People forget this! Everyone is busy complaining about the Water Temple (which I also like, btw), but nobody seems to give much credit to Zora's Domain, especially not this version, even though it's totally the best! I'm guilty of this myself, but after recalling this place, I really do think it's a shame that it gets so overlooked. It's a really nice landscape, it's pretty to look at, and it's fun to play around in. Even though I consider myself a 'challenge' type of player, I like areas like these to break up the action, especially for games like Zelda.

#7 - River of Pain (Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater)

[img=300x200]http://metalgearsolid.nl/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/River-MGS3.jpg[/img]

Is it called the River of Pain? I'm not entirely sure, but in any case, this place is dope! It's essentially a huge reward screen, but a very subjective one, in that it's up to you to decide what's considered a "reward". Do you like a nice, quiet walk down the river, or do you prefer being greeted by tons of burning people who scream in pain? Well, what you get depends on how you play the game, specifically how many people you kill, and how you do this. Aside from that, this place has some really cool secrets, and even though The Sorrow isn't†really†a boss fight as much as he's a trick by the developers, it's still a really cool trick.

#6 - Lost Fleet (Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon)

[img=300x200]http://spyropedia.com/images/thumb/2/2d/LostFleet.png/280px-LostFleet.png[/img]

Yo harr ho, we're in fuckin pirate land, tomateys, what up!?

It might not be the best pirate level in the universe, but I still like this one a ton, and it did some cool stuff for its time. It's also good fun to play, so I give it the number 6 spot. It's far from the last pirate level on this list, so don't worry. There isn't that much I can say about it, unfortunately, but it's still one of my favourite levels in the game.

#5 - Beach Bowl Galaxy (Super Mario Galaxy)

[img=300x200]http://download.gamezone.com/assets/old/gamezone/29/6/65/s29665_wii_18.jpg[/img]

Jolly Roger Bay would have been a nice and pirate-y follow up to the last one, but if I claimed to like that over Beach Bowl Galaxy, I'd be lying so hard my pants would be ashes within milliseconds. BBG is pure bliss! It first comes across as more of a playground than a level, but every star has a new and interesting objective, and I recall a kickass secret star in there, too! Still, the simple joy that comes from swinging, exploring and playing in the water is pretty amazing. It's one of the most relaxing and vacation-like levels that I can think of (Super Mario Sunshine might have it beat though, not that I've played it myself).

#4 - Dexter's Island (Ape Escape)

[img=300x200]http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/GIuRxvlQ8Xo/hqdefault.jpg[/img]

"Water". Or, more specifically, a gross combo of saliva, mild stomach acids and other fluids that you don't want to think about. Still, it's definitely a water level, if a less traditional one. It doesn't hurt that it's awesome, considering it mostly takes place inside of a huge dinosaur named Dexter (who has a comparatively tiny head)! Swimming in Ape Escape is not very precise, but it never really has to be, and it's easy to pull off, so capturing the monkeys swimming around in this level shouldn't be a problem (why are they doing that anyway, ew!). The ones to look out for are those who have somehow taken over parts Dexter's body, now using it as some sort of machinery. Poor silly looking giant dinosaur...

#3 - Escape from the Tea Cup (Wario Land II)

[img=300x200]http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/KONeQITDkZQ/hqdefault.jpg[/img]

Sunken ship levels are cool by default, but what if you yourself sunk the ship? What if it was just a regular ship level until you fucked it up? For those who don't know, Wario Land II is a brilliant game, for countless reasons, and this is one of them. The standard objective of the SS Tea Cup level is to drop the anchor, in order to stop the ship from escaping. But if you manage to find to hidden weak point, you can destroy it, causing the ship to sink. The following level is a flooded, broken down version of the previous one.

Is your mind blown right now? Yeah, thought so...

How fucking cool is that!? It's such a genious way to change up a familiar level and have you approach it in a completely new way! The following underwater ruin levels that you then unlock are cool too, but god DAMN! This is probably the biggest reason I've always been pro-water levels. This is like the anti-Water Temple!

#2 - Blood Bath Bay (Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves)

[img=300x200]http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/9/2010/06/pirateps3.jpg[/img]

If you wanna beat out the anti-Water Temple, you gotta step up your game!

Strangely enough, this one is from Sly 3, a game that I considered mostly inferior to Sly 2, especially when it came to the level design. Then everything changed when this level appeared and slapped me in the face for being a fool! Another pirate themed level is great in my book, but naval combat? That not only came out of nowhere, but it was awesome! I spent so much time on that part of the game, sinking thousands of enemy ships in the process. Super good times!

The reason Blood Bath Bay is this high on the list is that it not only showed that water levels can be great, but that a water level can be the best level in an entire game by a long shot!

#1 - Gloo Gloo (Rayman Legends)



This level features a (somewhat) sillier version of Woo Hoo by the 5, 6, 7, 8's. Not only that, but it has you run, jump, kick and swim to the rhythm of the song, while dodging several obstacles on the way. The backgrounds are all hand drawn, and amazingly detailed. It's beautiful to look at, beautiful to listen to, and beautiful to play. It's something I never thought would exist, especially not within a franchise I already knew and loved.

This level is fucking unbelievable! Every complaint that you could possibly have towards water levels is destroyed, and replaced with fast, fun and flowing gameplay, resulting in the purest of joy! It's number one because I believe it has the power to forever change the belief the water levels suck by default, should it be exposed to enough people. Smooth, charming and infinitely replayable, this level is an absolute masterpiece! Cheers!

_____

If there are any other water levels you think are cool, feel free to write about them below. Not that this message is needed or anything, you'd totally do that no matter what. Fun times ahead!