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Eaten by a Grue avatar 4:18 PM on 03.14.2010
Something about Sex: Meh... Moderatism Inevitable in this one

Before I begin, let me just say that I AM THE EXACT TYPE OF PERSON THAT EVERYBODY ON DESTRUCTOID THINKS IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO FALL INTO THE SO-CALLED "SEX-TRAP." I am a 14-year-old, hormonal teenager who is socially awkward and has very little chance of getting laid unless he hires a hooker. And for that, let's throw in the fact that in the odd case I do get married or get a girlfriend, it would be a casual girlfriend, as no girl could possibly like me for the crazy, mildly-autistic, unfunny person I am.

...


And yes, the constant school pressure, my own social inability and THE TEENAGE ANGST THAT MUST BE DESTROYED AT ALL COSTS is making me slowly go crazy...every...second.

And you know for the most part, the "trap" is working. And for the most part, I really could care less.

It seems that as companies have tried and tried again to use sex the move copies off of the shelf, we have been trying to find a compromise between allowing us to see some god damned titties and trying to look like we still care about "Games as Art." Hypocrites.

Either way, you know, I really don't care. And here's why:

IT'S SEX. IT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE, AND YES, WE'RE TURNED ON BY SEXUAL IMAGES. IF YOU AREN'T TURNED ON BY THIS, YOU ARE EITHER CHRISTIAN, MUSLIM, OR HAVEN'T REACHED PUBERTY YET!

At this point, you are probably just thinking about how much of a terrible writer I am. But in the end, Who cares about sex? Sure, I like to be turned on by the occasional glimpse of boobs, but hell, does that really affect the game? I mean, I like to see it as "icing on the cake" (bad metaphor, I know), but never considered buying a game for it's sexual content. That's what the internet is for! If other people want to buy a game for boobs (COUGH*Saboteur*COUGH) than let them do that, but it doesn't affect me.

And also, on the subject of using sex as a storytelling device, GO RIGHT A-FUCKING-HEAD! See what I did there? I made a "head" joke without you noticing. Witty, arent' I?

...



Okay, I know at this point, you guys don't care, but it seems like no one has a moderate voice anymore. I'm a 60-year-old experienced mind inside of a body that is still affected by hormones and angst, and I have to deal with the annoying extremes teenagers put themselves through, and when I see extremes here, it just makes me want to leave. I try to be as logical as possible without ruining everyone's fun.

And yet, all I can think about is how much I want to have a girlfriend and how much I want to play TF2.

I'm really sorry I put you through this unorganized, depressed mess.


Herp derp derp.

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