Well, here we go...
So I open it up to install it an- What is this?
Combat Arms DOWNLOADER?
I HAVE TO FUCKING DOWNLOAD A DOWNLOADER TO INSTALL THE GAME?
I fucking hate you Nexon.
Well, finally, after 30 - 60 minutes of this complete bullshit, (believe it or not, the downloader will limit your speed if your connection is too good) we finally can get into the game.
Well this doesn't look so bad
Problem: this was the game about 3 years ago. Guess what? They don't even have that map now. You know why? BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY TOOK OUT EVERY MAP BUT THE FIVE MOST PLAYED ONES! There were about 12 maps when I orignally left the game a year ago; now there are only 5. And all of the them are the worst ones, the ones I hated the most. But everyone else loved them.
Oh, before we go on, let's talk about the thing that makes Korean MMO's infamous to their specific genre. In order to stay
Free to Play, they have to sell items through a virtual store. That's right, you have to buy items with real money to pimp out your virtual character. When Combat Arms first started, it's ideas were very noble. It started out with the idea that you shouldn't be able to buy higher powered weapons with real money to get the edge on your opponent.
Yeah, I'll tell you how long that lasted.
While none of the weapons are technically
better than any others, there are a few real money bought weapons that definitely come with a few perks. Oh, and let's talk about the non-real money weapons. You need something called GP to buy them. You earn GP by getting kills and playing matches. The problem? Unless you're a hacker (which the game is full of), you're probably not going to get these weapons very easily. The other problem is that the default M16A3 is such a piece of shit you need
the store bought weapons. But it's unfair, these Korean MMO's are well, made for Korea, and people in Korea are able to play a certain game 24 hours a day. Unless you are doing that, you will not be able to keep the weapons, as when you buy them, you can buy them for a day, a week, or a month. But unless you play all day and do really well, you won't be able to afford them. Oh, and another thing, the store has no organization, and sucks. The items for sale also suck. Stuff that you need, like maybe medkits, aren't even in there, and even if it was, it would be overpriced.
Let's talk about gameplay. I think something went wrong in my head. It's like the schizophrenia of Modern Warfare 2 without the Meat Grinder fun of Call of Duty 4. It's weird, and unruly. You control like a slow ass slug with a hernia, but when you're trying to shoot someone, it's like they're going too fast to even hit. Here's another odd thing, you can only zoom in if you have a scope. Apparently Nexon's never heard of anything called "iron sights." If you do not purchase a scope attachment for your gun, then you are stuck playing the old Counter-Strike way of "burst fire, crouch for accuracy." It's extremely retarded, and makes the game almost impossible to play. My last gripe with the gameplay is that unless you have a G36 or an L96A1, you have a bad weapon. Though the G36 has huge recoil, it's a two-shot kill weapon, and zooms in really far for an assault rifle. And the L96A1... God Almighty, I shudder to think that Nexon is on crack or something. I really should have typed this up right after I finished playing to unleash the full wrath of my rage, but my therapist says I should avoid high stress levels. Anyways, the L96A1 is the god weapon. Without any modification, it is one hit kill. Anywhere. On the legs, the body the arms, it will kills you. No matter even if you bough increases armor, it is a one-hit kill. It's expensive as shit, but not expensive enough to keep everybody from buying it.
Finally, servers and community. This doesn't look so bad, because it's the early version. Well, it only goes downhill from here. The servers are non-dedicated (of course) but really have nothing to give any indication of what you're doing. In Modern Warfare 2, you may not get to choose your server, but at the very least they do their best to get you to a good one (when I played it on the free weekend, I only had three games where I has below 4 bars, only because I was playing with pretty much all UK Dtoiders). Either way, the only indication is how busy a channel is. And how does it go from Server to Channel to Game Lobby? If someone can explain that to me in the comments, that would be great. But wait, there's more! There is no, I repeat, no
, fucking way to check your lag. NONE
. Not even the bar indicator a la Modern Warfare 2. But trust me, almost all the time you will be playing on a laggy server. Always. You cannot avoid it, it just happens. In fact, when I dream about this game (a thing I do with games constantly) I can only envision it laggy like this. It's so bad it made me want to stop playing games online. And lastly community. For a free game, guess what the community is? Hackers, 12 - 16 year olds, basically the worst the internet has to offer. Hackers are everywhere. You will not play one anonymous game without hackers. It's just too easy for the hackers to do. Plus, dealing with them is annoying. Nexon, in all their wisdom, decided the best course of action to take would be to add voice chat to their game. Yeah, real great. Now, you get all the excitement of real 12 year olds yelling and screaming and trying to cyber you if you think it's funny to pretend to be a girl.
In conclusion: I can't believe this was my first online game.
I know I said I wanted this to become a series, but I'm super busy; I don't think I'll be picking back up on this again, especially after all that crap. However, my and Mushman (as you know him on Destructoid) will be creating a video from our epic trolling of Modern Warfare 2. I don't know if it will be any good, as at best we probably got 5 minutes of good footage, as an optimistic guess. And it will be completely unprofessional, badly synced, and likely not to be funny. But it's my next project to put all that footage together and make that video, so if I do post here soon, it will probably be that.
I also completed three life cheevos yesterday: I stopped being a pussy and asked a girl out on a date, I helped my community, AANNNND I found the substitute to this:
Frozen Cheescake on a stick with chocolate drizzle. Perfectly kosher fair food.
Wish me luck on my travels through the world.