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About Me


Hello-hello Destructoid! I'm your friendly blogger-next-door, Evan, but you're all welcome to call me EarthbounderNess. Actually, I lied about the friendly part, I don't like any of you. In fact, I loathe all of you so much, I'm not next door either, I'm inside your house, in your kitchen, eating all of your food that doesn't suck.

I'm a 23 year old, double jobbin drone, totally livin the "sweet life". I have an unhealthy obsession with dressing up on days other than Halloween about once every other month. See below?


Cliche as it is, I'm a man of many faces.

Cosplay is a huge love of mine, right alongside video games. You can call me names because of it if you want, just don't throw anything at my head, I need to protect my beautiful face.

Really though I just hope you all enjoy what little bits of crap I shell out here. If you don't enjoy any of it, then drop me a PM saying how much you hate me and how I need to go eat paint chips, I won't take too much offense. Promise.



Likes
+Cosplay
+Pink Things
+Animu
+Mango
+Vidya Gaems

Dislikes
-Demomen and Soldiers fighting
-Jockeys
-Spies

Currently Playing
-Team Fortress 2
-Left 4 Dead 2
-Hatsune Miku: Project Diva
-Monster Hunter Freedom Unite

Feel free to add me on PSN



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The most AWESOME and disturbing "Happy Birthday" post you will ever see
EarthbounderNess | 11:54 PM on 03.16.2009 29 comments


Well first off, let me just say that I love you Destructoid. I love you like Jim Sterling loves Dynasty Warriors, like Yojimbo loves beards, like Colette loves chocobos and like Chad loves dolphins. Also I guess I love Niero, since he's the father of the site, but that's a platonic love. I suppose Samit also gets a bit of love, but only a little, since I'm saving up the rest for a rainy day (That's really a lie though, he gets just as much as everyone else).

Now take all that love that I just laid out for you and imagine it transforming into a wonderful song. A song that should be read in the voice of Marylin Monroe.

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Destructoid, Niero and Samit~
Happy Birthday to you

Did I just blow your mind with the sheer amount of emotion and amazingness in that song!? You're damn right I did. But what if I told you that I could make that song even BETTER? Did I just make you piss yourself? Sorry, but you'll have to wait to clean that up until later because I'm about to take you all for the ride of your life!

Here we go... So take that song, but at the same time that it's being sung in your head (Still in Marylin Monroe's voice), look at the following picture:




Are you ready for it?




You sure?




Alright then...




Start that singing in your head and BEHOLD


Best Happy Birthday or BEST Happy Birthday? I think you all know the answer. Barf bags are under your seat by the way.



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

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26 comments | showing # 1 to 26
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Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 00:34
Hamza CTZ Aziz
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!! FUCCCCKKKKKKK MY EYES!! HAHAHAHAHAA
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 00:34
Alasdair Duncan
it cannot be unseen!
welkstar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 00:52
welkstar
The goggles! They do nothing!
Butmac's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 00:53
Butmac
I literally just covered my mouth with my hand.

Holy hell.
RAB's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 02:35
RAB
jeez look at those fucking thighs
HeavyD's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 03:22
HeavyD
I'd hit that.
IronPikeman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 04:19
IronPikeman
This caused my family to die like I opened the Ark of the Covenant.

Also, great costume... I think
Lurfadur's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 04:20
Lurfadur
So uh...do you do bachelor parties?
penixinbottle's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 06:00
penixinbottle
I would hit that shit
GrumpyTurtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 06:08
GrumpyTurtle
Shave them legs!
MEE's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 06:18
MEE
people form the internet would like to deliver this message :

:0
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 06:34
RonBurgandy2010
..........................wow................
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 06:51
Jordan Devore
You win. I don't know what you win, but whatever it is, you won it.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 08:00
Y0j1mb0
LMAO!

You are crazy man. Don't change!
Danzflor's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 08:15
Danzflor
The Awesomness and Disturbing, all in o place, great pic
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 10:21
Jesus H Christ
I feel a little sick.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 11:09
Chocobo Knight
Woohoo! Awesome! *thumbs up approval*
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 16:14
Char Aznable
LEG HAIR!!
Puppy Licks's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 17:36
Puppy Licks
KING OF INTERNET!!
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 17:44
Colette Bennett
KANJI! <3
Fogo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/17/2009 18:41
Fogo
OMG I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH A LIL' <3
jackal27's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/18/2009 00:13
jackal27
So... Much hair....... Oh God...
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/18/2009 21:30
Samit Sarkar
Oh, look...there's my dinner. It's all over the floor, mixed with various stomach acids.

But seriously, thanks! I'm not even going to spoil the moment like I usually do.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/18/2009 22:33
Jonathan Holmes
This shit is MAGIC!
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/22/2009 22:01
garison
Wow, that was awesome! haha
Ballistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/23/2009 03:31
Ballistic
If you could somehow weaponize this picture, the world would end.
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