That's the main menu graphic for the awesome new game "Conan"! I think it's based on a new movie that's coming out or something, because the screens look nothing like any of the movies from the 80s.
(But it sure looks like it was made in the 80s...)
As you can see in the above image, this game is brutal! Conan can decapitate skeletons with his mighty fists!
In this screen, we see Conan engaging an undead skeleton in a battle of wits and fisticuffs on a tiny platform floating above a lava pit. Can our hero make it out alive!?
(Answer: Fuck no. The skeleton just bullies your ass into the lava, you die and start over.)
In this screen we see a previously unmentioned enemy: the imp. What new battle strategies must Conan master in order to best this fiendish fiend?
(Answer: Fuck that imp. He'll appear out of nowhere, hit you in the head, then run away so fast that you can't catch him. Hopefully, he appears into your fist.)
In this screen we see the inventory. As you can see, we can use a dismembered hand, a sword, and a fireball. That must be that Conan magic I've read about! There are another 12 open slots, so get to speculating over what the new items could be!
(These are the only three items you'll ever see since there is no killing the fucking manticore!)
Finally, in this screen we see the first big challenge... a fire breathing manticore on a cliff. It appears that you still have to ward off the skeletons and imps while this is going on. How will Conan overcome the odds? Well, with your help as the player, that's how!
(There is no way to kill the manticore. He breaths fire balls at you until you die. There is no getting around him, as the level is only one way, and the imp will surely foil any hopes you may have of jumping.)
Well, that's all
the website had to show. I'm more excited than ever for this game!!!11one!!!1!
(I'm never going to fucking play Conan ever again. I wish I could decapitate this game's ass into a lava pit, but alas, there are no active volcanoes in southwestern PA.)
(# 0) on 10/22/2007 17:50
(# 1) on 10/22/2007 17:59
(# 2) on 10/22/2007 21:56
YOUR THE REASON I CRY AT NIGHT!!!