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Top 10 Things To Do When Your Xbox Dies
Dutch | 10:19 AM on 01.20.2009 20 comments


If you own an XBOX360, you know what I’m talking about. The freezing, the lagging, the infamous red ring of
death, etc, etc, etc. But what can we do when the inevitable happens? I can think of 10 possible solutions.



10. Throw your controller into the wall. What good is a broken system without a broken controller to match.

9. Cry. Just a little bit. It’s about time you let your feelings go after being belittled and virtually peed on by
overly aggressive, homophobic, antisemitic, and racist preteens on your favorite “M” rated games.

8. Put down the baseball bat and call Microsoft. Going all Office Space on it won’t actually solve anything.

7. Play a different console. Sure gamerscore and XBOX Live are addicting and well done, but surely there is
at least one current gen console (see: all current gen consoles) that are more reliable with a few decent
software titles.

6. Go outsi....errr.... nevermind.... Stay inside.

5. Catch up on your Battlestar Gallactica. You know you love that fracking show.

4. Dust off your retro stuff and play some nostalgic favorites. Remember how much you pwnd at Duck
Hunt?

3. Pretend that it didn’t happen. Sit in front of the TV with your controller and headset while screaming and
cursing at the difficulty level of the game for hours on end. No one will think you’re crazy… right?

2. Develop a normal sleeping schedule. Believe it or not, most people think 6am for a bed time is a bit
excessive unless you work 3rd shift.

1. Host a funeral for your long lost 360 complete with a wake and processional to the local FedEx drop off.

~sk33t sk33t~

Originally posted here.



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20 comments | showing # 1 to 20

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Mr Wrighty 987's Destructoid Blog
I just fix it.
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
use it as a hat
Usedtabe's Destructoid Blog
Sex with the wife. She sure gets excited when the RRoD comes around.
Half left's Destructoid Blog
I went snowboarding on mine.
Clockwork's Destructoid Blog
I never liked Battlestar Galactica.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
#11, buy a ps3 so you don't have to write about what to do when your ps3 breaks.
Dudemullet's Destructoid Blog
sidetalk
bloodylip's Destructoid Blog
@qraze

But then how will I know what to do if it does break?
Char Aznable's Destructoid Blog
Impulsively cut your penis off and see where that takes you. Just go with it.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
it won't break unless you're that one in a million. i use my launch 60 gig everyday and it still runs perfect.
Dutch's Destructoid Blog
@clockwork liar. :)
blehman's Destructoid Blog
Dutch? As in "James Pond" Dutch?
ZombiePlatypus's Destructoid Blog
I recently started playing LittleBigPlanet and a few Wii games again after shipping my 360 to the repair center... I still can't wait to get it back though...
KyleGamgee's Destructoid Blog
#12 Visit Destructoid again. Post blog.

Good to see you man.
Jonathan Ross's Destructoid Blog
Hi Dutch! I haven't seen you around in forever!
GrayFox's Destructoid Blog
You forgot: make a blog post on Destructoid.
mid3vol's Destructoid Blog
go to walmart and buy a 360, change the serial number on the box, return it. VOILA!
garison's Destructoid Blog
Play Persona 4. You're set for life!
Dutch's Destructoid Blog
@blehman: it is I, the james pond.

@everyone else: Thanks for the welcome wagon! Destructoid is very much like crack(also); I can never completely quit and I've always got a craving no matter how long I go without it. I'm not quite sure what the white powder is around my mouth but thats a different matter for a different day(cocks). I am writing a bit more regularly so I figured the least I can do is share the love here as well! Hopefully this time it sticks. Withdrawl is a bitch.
Qraze's Destructoid Blog
it is the crack of the internet. no rehab for you, tough it out cold turkey


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 about me

~Here's my gaming prologue...~

I've been a gamer my entire life ever since my dad ripped off some kid for his atari at a garage sale and gave it to me with the infamous Pong. I've got to be honest that I was so young that it never got old, but gaming didn't start to become a big deal to me until the NES (I regret selling my Atari when I was 4). First popping in Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt was all it took. My mom claims I ruined our TV by playing Hogan's Alley and Duck Hunt too much. Even if I did...totally worth it! I still bargain hunt for a few worthwhile games that I've missed out on over the years (ie, Contra, Dragon Warrior 4, Final Fantasy, etc.) and just stumbled upon the fabulous turquoise colored cartridge of Bible Adventures...SW33T! My folks skimped on the Master System, Genesis, and SNES, however I have made up for their absence with an ever growing collection today.

After much begging and sacrifice, I was finally able to score an N64 one Christmas in Junior High. The 64 is my fav historical console simply because it gave me my first opportunity to delve into an almost believable 3D world. The N64 is what made gaming more of a fantasy immersion experience than a pick-up and play hobby. My first games for the 64 were Goldeneye, and Mario 64. Favorite game for the system was Ocarina of Time with the 1st runner up being Conker's Bad Fur Day.

I never really got into any systems like the Saturn or Jaguar and though I'm sure they are fantastic systems in their own right, I don't really have any urge to find one. I just picked up a Dreamcast about 2 years ago, but don't have a killer selection yet other than Seaman and a couple other collectibles. I picked up my PS1 the same time as my Dreamcast. And inherited a great selection of games from the wifey. I should also note that she bought me a PS2 for a birthday present when we were dating. She pretty much rocks.

The PS2 was the start of my collecting days. Every game would stay like new from there on out and very very few games would ever leave the collection. Soon I bought my Halo edition XBOX and began in that arena. Then the Gamecube. And the collecting when to new heights. It took me a lot of experimenting to find my niche. I don't hate any genre, but I'll admit that my least favorite are sports games. To me they seem pointless because there is no relevant story or action accompanying that story to affect the outcome (no the "Superbowl" doesn't count, besides, how many times can you win a Superbowl...well...I guess how many times can you save a princess...BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!!!)

For a while I was the Assistant Director of a Game Crazy in MN. Talk about a dream job if only it would have paid well. I got most of my collection at my stay there.

~TOP TEN FAVORITE GAMES OF ALL TIME~
10. Guitar Hero 1 (PS2)
9. Armed and Dangerous (XBOX)
8. Beyond Good and Evil (GCN)
7. LoZ: Ocarina of Time (N64)
6. Mario Kart Double Dash (GCN)
5. Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)
4. Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GCN)
3. Resident Evil 4 (GCN)
2. Kingdom Hearts (PS2)
1. Final Fantasy 7 (I actually am playing this game right now for my first time, about 40 hours in and it takes the cake so far...biggest complaint is that frickin Aeris didn't give back my materia when she died...bitch)

~Fanboy Class~
I am not a fanboy... that I know of. Tell me if I'm wrong based on the blogs and forum posts, maybe I am a fanboy and I just don't know it... I own a 360, PS3 (MGS4 limited edition biatch!), and a Wii. I play the 360 the most due to a Live account spanning back to my translucent green 40lber.

~Hardcore L3V3L~
HARDCORElite - Means I was a total hardcore gamer that started working too much but still embraces his roots and sacrifices a lot of sleep, food, and everything else to do what I love and keep up with the industry.

*UPDATE* I've been very busy lately experimenting with my own game blog. Please check it out, give me any feedback you can think of. Also, offer your support in the form of chocolate or throwing a comment on there every now and again :). As always, cocks.

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