This shirt is going to sell like fucking mad

So yeah, MAGFest X is just days away now. I'm super excited this year, as there's an entire Dtoid Midwest caravan making it's way from the forgotten lands, through the mountains of madness, and straight into Maryland to the heart of the party itself. Our exodus includes: N7, Ruckus, ZombiePlatypus (driving the Platybus), Gatsby, DanlHaas, Glitchy, and Jon Bloodspray. Are there any other Midwesterners making the journey? We're getting in Wednesday night, so hit up the comments below or the MAGFest X forum thread if you're going to be there and want to meet-up!


This picture will only be relevant for a few more days, so I had to post it again. Because I love it.

Side note: Suiterday? Karaoke? Suiteroke? Who likes that idea?

There's going to be somewhat of a special anouncement at MAGFest concerning Dtoid Midwest. If you've ever been involved with the Midwest group, are a new member, partied with us, WHATEVER, you'll probably want to be there for it. It might not be a huge deal in reality, but it's probably still best you hear about it. Once we get there and I find out what room we're in I'll figure out when said announcement will be made. I suppose the easiest way to find out would be to follow me on twitter at @Jon_Bloodspray, since I doubt I'll be bringing my laptop. You'll probably be pretty surprised.


But not that kind of surprise. Unless you want to I dunno just sayin' I'm down for whatever.

As always, check out theMidwest group forum thread, join our Facebook group or hit up the Google Group.


Hope to see everyone at MAGFest X!

Even though I've been busy planning my trip to The Moon, I knew it was high time for a Dtoid Midwest update. Let's kick this off with an interview with Dtoider M47R1X, who hails from Oklahoma City, OK




Let’s start this off with a really fun game. We’re going to play who is my daddy, and what does he do.

Hah, my daddy pushes drugs and passes gas, so to speak. His name is Doug and he’s an anesthesiologist who used to be a dentist. Had one of those late in life decision changes, and he’s still paying off loans for it. He likes classic cars, pulling pranks, and telling me what to do even though I’ve been out of his house for several years and am now married. Smile and nod, smile and nod.


What about you? What do you professionally, or just for fun?

As for work I slave away at UPS where I sort out boxes at 1000mph every day. I am training for my A+ certification to be an IT guy instead (so I don’t go even more insane) and I’m also trying hard to get some vocal gigs/design/something that doesn’t suck and I can use my natural talents for. As for fun, well, there’s obviously the vidja games (although with school I’ve had very little time for them). I also like to work on cars, listen to music that doesn’t make me want to rip off my ears (see: wub wub wub), making shoops, getting into debates where I have a chance at “winning,” avoiding those that don’t, trying to play the guitar without sucking at it, and tearing things apart to put back together in ways better than the original from something as small as a control pad to as large as my house.

Also, I’m working on making a videogame based on a certain group of people I know. Yeah, it’s happening. I just need to work on my programming skills.


So whereabouts are you anyways?  The midwest is a big place after all.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, which is about as exciting as it sounds. There is nothing to do here. The city is trying to increase tourism, but they’re going to have to try harder than our crappy natural parks, crappy entertainment district, and our pretty good NBA team (we have one now! Suck it, Seattle). Also, I’m on the north side of town. Southside is a deathzone. And no, we don’t all have cows. The closest I have is a fat little dog. I have a fat cat as well, but I’m pretty sure he’s Satan incarnate.


You’ve mentioned that you’d like to be a game voice actor.  Tell us about that.

I’ve always enjoyed acting and doing imitations and such, but I’d never really done anything with it. I noticed as I played games with voice acting (as well as TV shows and movies) that I’d always look up the credits to see who did what roles. I was originally looking to see if there were any A-list celebrities doing roles, but I began to catch on to the guys/gals who only did voice. I would pick up on who did what kinds of roles, genres, etc. Then one day after my wife had played Dragon Age II, I made a little Fenris imitation while she was in another room, and she came back in to turn off the Xbox 360 (it was already off). When she realized it was me, she said I should give it a shot.

I thought about it: I love to act, but I’m stage/camera shy--being in a room with a microphone sounds like an excellent remedy; I could work with these people that I’ve been following the careers of; I could use my natural talents; it would be fun, as opposed to several other prospective careers; and last but not least, I’d get to work in the games industry without having to learn how to make the games themselves (even though I am working on that). And maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to move on up to Hollywood, baby.

Right now I am honing my skills, trying to come up with new voices and characters and will soon put together a demo reel of some of my finest bits. I also plan to audition for local radio and television commercials; I’ve even applied to work as a DJ for the local rock station (the local rock station. Read: Oklahoma sucks). Having a voice fit for voice acting is fine and all, but does nothing for you financially speaking if you don’t get it out there into the known.

If I had a time machine, I’d go back to when the development for Mass Effect started and audition like crazy for the role of Commander Shepard. Mark Meer is good in his own right, but let’s face it: he hammed up that role. Also, I’d have the pleasure of saying that I’m Commander #%$^ing Shepard.

Either that or I’d pick the winning lottery numbers for a $450 million jackpot. You know, whatever.


Kumquats: Yes or no?

I’d have to try one in order to make a real judgement, but I’d probably like ‘em.


What would you like to see out of Dtoid Midwest in the future?

More people to move here so It’s not just me and Zodiac Eclipse :D.

But seriously, I feel like all that I can do to be involved with Destructoid is online. The Midwest is huge, and most of the Midwest Dtoiders live in and around Ohio. It’d be great to have more going on in the southern reaches. Hell, in order to have a good NARP, Starkey has to come down from Minnesota. We might as well just take the four-hour drive to Dallas for anything.


If you could change one aspect of the games industry, what would it be?

The cashwhoring. It’s in everything. On-disc DLC, pointless tie-ins and marketing ploys, even as much as changing key characteristics of a game in order to reach a broader audience, rather than letting the game itself live the way it should. True, it’s good business sense to make a game catered to everyone, but it shouldn’t all be about dollars and cents.


Funniest thing you’ve ever seen?  GO!

That I’ve ever seen? Crap, man, my memory sucks. It’s goldfish bad. Of what I can remember recently, I’d have to say Jim Sterling’s attempt at an episode of the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon. I guffawed like an idiot for several minutes straight. Either that or any of the Guile’s theme videos. Ask me again tomorrow and I’ll have a different answer.


Non-question time, tell us what’s on your mind as an outro.

Never before has an online community felt so much like home. I love all of you guys. Even the birdman. I’m so glad I finally joined this place and I plan to stay here for a good long while to come.

Now that all this fuzziness is done, who wants come here and gimme a little Eskimo kiss?


And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks to M47R1X for sparing a moment to share with us.


I can never find a picture that gives a good idea of how massive the arcade is at MAGFest

So MAGFest is creeping closer and closer, and people are getting fucking hyped. I know that ZombiePlatypus, DanlHaas, Ruckus, Gatsby, Glitchy and myself are attending. Any other Midwesterners making the journey? If you are, speak up; MAGFest is a blast! The Midwest room was where it was at last year, with visits from Jon St John and Mr. MAGFest, plenty of booze, and one of the most epic games of Kings I've ever been involved in. So if you're going, make sure to say hi! I'll be sad if I don't get to party with each and every one of you.

Live in the Chicago area? Dtoider JrisJunior (formerly Fleet3000) mentioned on our facebook group page that he'd like to get some people together in that area. Hit him up if you feel like meeting some Dtoiders for a good time.

If you don't have plans for New Year's Eve yet, be aware that Daniel Starkey is trying to get together an Oklahoma/Texas New Year's NARP. I'd be all up in that shit if I could, so contact him if you're interested.


As usual, if you're interested in being an interviewee feel free to contact me at jonbloodspray A T gmail, and don't forget our forum thread and our Google group.

I think that about covers everything.



Random picture.

Been a slow couple of months here in the Forgotten Zones, but I figured now that the PAX Prime afterglow has faded I should do an update.

As a matter of personal pride, I'd like to share this:

Source

That image shows the cities in the U.S. that spend the most on video games. Number 15 is Toledo, OH.


Those of you that have attended past MidwestNARPS have had the opportunity to visit the city. It's my home, and acts as a home base of sorts for the midwest. I think it's kind of cool to see we play a lot of games here. It reinvigorates the idea I've had of making next years NARP into a small convention. If I can get some sponsors, and if you guys would be willing to buy tickets (because it's going to have to get paid for somehow) I think I could pull it off. It's a long way off, but I need to start planning now if I want it to even be a possibility. Let me know what you think.


In other news, Midwest member/Front Page contributor Daniel Starkey is planning some events this year. A New Years Eve NARP would be rad as fuck, so if you're interested in that you should hit him up over on his blog.

This next bit is something I've been meaning to do for a long time, but am just now getting around to. Inspired by the wonderful C Blog Interviews , I've decided to start Dtoid Midwest interviews. This is in no way to ape the success of those interviews. See, the midwest is a big place. Very big. Sometimes it's easy to feel isolated out here. I want to try and raise the awareness of Dtoiders lost out here in the void, and help them find other members in a reasonable distance they may not even have known about. So without further ado, I give you the first interview.

This interview is with Destructoid member N7, who was formerly known as philcollins.

So N7, let’s get to know you. What part of this vast expanse of America known as the Midwest do you hail from?

I ride or die in the mean streets of Lorain Ohio which is about 40 minutes outside Cleveland. It’s a shit town. I just moved back from Middleburg Hts (5 minutes from Cleveland). I probably won’t be in this city in 6 months. But hey I had a cultured upbringing, no complaints. Annnnd Go Browns!

What do you do, either professionally or for fun?

I was a programmer (C++) but now I work in operations for Macy’s Systems & Technology. It’s a great job to have as I work 9am to 9pm on Sun, Mon, and Tues... then every other Saturday. For a seasoned nerd this means I get 3 to 4 days off in a row after a new game releases on Tuesdays. Having said that I’m sort of at a cross roads now where I might try and find an IT job in the gaming industry. I’m looking anyway so we’ll see if something pans out...

And when I’m not gaming (being single I game a lot these days *sips chocolate milk so nice*) I’m probably rocking out to 80s music and training. I compete in Natural Bodybuilding to level out my whole Meathead nerd facade and it’s a labor of bat shit crazyness. But I enjoy it, going forward I shall be attending Pax, NARPS, and stalking Julius[editors note: Julius=Diverse] for fun.

What made you decide to step up and join the sexy party that is Dtoid Midwest?

Well I joined the forums when I saw the Halo Community tournament BadStar had put up. Won my way onto the 1st team and we rocked shit for 2 rounds I believe? I then had to go out and get drunk. Great time, I wish more Dtoid played Reach.

As far as MidWest goes Changston told me about the NARP, I had no bearings on the forums still really. I’ve visited Dtoid for years but was sorta neck deep in another forum community that died down recently. First thing I noticed when joining the forums is everyone is much more personal with greetings and tend to open up in comparison to most anonymous Internet communities. <insertisthisreallife.jpg>

Gamers especially tend to keep their social lives private on forums I’ve noticed. I thought it was pretty cool to see a bunch of 20 some year old like minded folks doing the exact opposite of that... And I wanted in :D

I Enjoyed the hell out of the MW NARP weekend BTW and looking forward to Pax East next year.

You mentioned

that you wouldn’t mind getting down like Barry and Levon from The State. Tell us more about that.

You know I’ve just always wanted to rub my ass into 240 dollars worth of pudding after seeing that skit 15 years ago. And now it’s plausible, next NARP we all need to chip in and make it happen haha.

Plus a lot of people always talk about doing something awesome rather than actually doing it. And you know what old Jack burton says at a time like this...

So you once said this:

So, can we get this picture of you eating a salad shirtless, as you promised, nay, demanded?

Droid phone hated me but still oh so nice.


What would you like to see out of the Midwest group in the future?

More Honey Badger and Less Red Panda. I think a well timed Fall meet up would be cool, maybe more West to make up for all the fine folks that traveled hours to Ohio. Perhaps a Halloween NARP (NARPOWEEN?) where we all just go Video Game themed. *Calls Adam Jensen* Now I feel very clever for coming up with that. If it’s been done I’m going to feel shameful.

This here is all you; take a minute or two and tell us anything you would like to.

Anything? You know I think Dtoid’s a great experiment as far as gaming communities go. It’s truly unique with how we all interact for better or worse (usually better) and that’s pretty rock N roll. Yes I still say that.

I look forward anyway to meeting more good folks at various events in the future whether it’s a NARP or Pax or E3. I’m very huggable so if you meet me in person bring it on. Also I started a Star Wars: ToR guild. People should join it as I made it with Dtoid n mind: http://www.swtor.com/guilds/141285/f-k-coffee

Also I just wanted to say for the record I’m a Team Jacob kind of guy. I just feel he’s truly better for Bella.


Thanks to N7 for being my lab rat in this whole interview thing. I hope you guys enjoy and these work to have the effect I'm hoping for.


Who's going to MAGFest X? I am, and I know a handful of other Midwesterners are, but speak up! Let everybody know so we can all have as much sI MEAN party as much as we can! Last year was a blast, and I know this year will be even better.


And that's all for now! If you would be interested in being interviewed, or know someone who is, email me at jonbloodsprayatgmaildottycom. I'd like to do at least one interview a month from here on out, so don't be shy.

Talk to you all soon. Here is a random picture until then.

Pic somewhat unrelated, but this festival happens in Michigan every year, and I've been listening to a lot of Deadmau5

So did you know that the Dtoid Midwest group is continuing to grow? If not, you should now because the previous sentence implied it heavily. Matter of fact, we are home to Destructoids very own front page contributor Daniel Starkey, who is currently trying to plan a couple events!

I hope one of those events is something like this.

The first bit of debauchery this fine sir would like to spawn is a December 31st gathering in Bricktown, OKC for beers, steaks, or whatever. By whatever, I of course mean ohjesusfuck what do you think, it's New Year's Eve with Dtoiders: you know how that will end. With awesome. In your pants. And maybe on your face.

A bit further into 2012, Mr. Starkleness would like to open his place up to a NARP. He resides near the University of Minnesota East bank campus. He was thinking the weekend of February 24-26th. There's not much for details about this NARP yet, so stay tuned here or to Daniel's blog for more information.


Who's going to PAX Prime? Is the Midwest going to rock some face and represent this year? I know Clownbaby is attending, and will be in possession of a certain suit that may or may not have mystical powers. I hope to see many of you wearing it. Let it envelope your very being.

I imagine that shortly after the Prime afterglow dies down we'll start planning our MAGFest agenda, so if you have any interest or ideas in that, say so. Always looking for fun ideas.

I still plan on doing Midwest interviews, but am looking for a way to make them a little different from our World Famous C-Blog Interviews. If you live in the Midwest and would be interested in this, send and email to JonBloodsprayATgmailDOTcom and let me know, I'd love to hear from all Midwesterners new and old!


I suppose that's it for now. Here is a random picture:


See you soon.

EDIT: Sooner than later, it would seem. In my excitement about all these Midwest happenings, my boner used the blood that should have been in my brain and killed part of my memory.

For the 2ND YEAR RUNNING, Destructoid will be represented in the PAX Omegathon by one of the Midwest's members! That's right, our very own Glitchy will be competing this year! Good luck to her, and may she avoid the final Z in Bananagrams. You go girl!

Well, this summers Midwest NARP has come and gone, and my goodness was it a success. I can't even believe the amount of fun we had over the time we spent together.


I traveled 400 miles... LET'S WATCH THE INTERNET!

So yeah, everyone showed up in Toledo, and we partied, ate, drank and played games until the wee hours of the night all weekend.

I think this is the only time we left the house. Seriously.


Somewhere in the middle of all this madness we found time to have a tournament that we lovingly named the Destructathon. It was a tough haul through Twister, Mario Kart 64, Clue, Super Meat Boy, and in the final round the surprise game was Chess. The twists to each round were unique and added a good deal of fun and suspense to the tournament. In Twister, each participant could choose a hand to be exempt, but had to have a drink in it at all times, without spilling.

Cataract was not very good at this.

Mario Kart 64 was improvised at the last minute, as we realized there was not enough equipment for our original plan of Left 4 Dead 2 (the twist was Left 4 Friends). Mario Kart was 1 v 1 battles, with the twist being that you had to finish your beer before you defeated your opponent, and you had to set your controller down while you were drinking.

Not pictured: Senisan doing this round with a 9% beer

The Clue round was a more subtle twist, in that while the rules remained the same, you could only look at, or take notes once every round. We also made people give us their guesses in secret, so the remaining players could stay in until the 4 winner spots were filled.

It was Ms. Scarlet in the ballroom with the candlestick, in case you were wondering. Or trying to think of a name for a Clue themed porno.

The Super Meat Boy twist was a doozy. Teams of two, with each team member controlling only one half of the controller. This was probably the most intensely spectated round of the entire tournament, and deservedly so.


It's not gay though because balls weren... oh wait. Nah, they totally were.

The big secret reveal for the final round was Chess. The twist? Three games, simultaneously, and any time you lost a piece, you drank. At this point it was down to ZombiePlatypus and NihonTiger90, and they circled that table like fucking hawks.

There is no picture that shows it, but they played this shit in the motherfucking sunset.

NihonTiger90 won a board early, but ZombiePlatypus came back to take the championship. We did a small bit of an award ceremony afterwards.


Congrats ZP! And again, thanks to our Forums Momerator, Zodiac Eclipse for the custom plushie!

After that, we just hung out, ate, drank, played games, hugged, laughed, played music and just had an all around great time.




Senisan almost beat Diverse like that.

For more pics and some videos, I suggest the forum thread. I can't stress enough how much you should go look through that, but I'll provide some direct links as well.

Senisan's reflections.
What Cataract had to say.

by Changston, here is a PDF of a slide show,and here it is in powerpoint. He also has a pretty great picture album linked in the forum thread, that didn't want to work as a link here.
A musical slideshow I put together.
IcarusKills' youtube channel with 7 short videos from the NARP.



Somehow there are no pictures of it, but several of us drank a bottle of Yellowtail in honor of a certain naked feline of days gone by. That is all I'll say about that.

And that's it for Dtoid Midwest NARP 2011 news! It was even better than 2010, and I didn't think that was possible. I can't even imagine what next year will be like.

Before I move along to other to other Midwest news, I'd like to post my favorite picture. For some reason it reminds me of the tip of the hat we all give in some form when we part ways.

See you next time, friends.


Moving along...

So who among us is going to PAX Prime? If you do, take pictures! Tell people you're from the Midwest and watch them be jealous! Make out with someone for me!


We've been growing quite a bit lately, which is awesome. I'd like to start doing a monthly spotlight on members from the midwest. It would show newcomers that even though we are spread all over this wretched wasteland we call home, there are a lot of us out there. It would help the Midwest group grown and expand, and would hopefully lead to new NARPs and other opportunities. Sound like a thing you'd be interested in? Leave a message in the comments!

As always, feel free to drop into our forum thread if you are new to the site or just want to say hi! You might be surprised to find someone in the midwest near you.

And with that, I'm out. Talk to you fools soon.

So today I started preparing my house for the mass org... I mean super happy fun time that will be this years Midwest NARP. There's just over a week left until people start showing up, so if you need directions or my phone number (...ladies...) or anything like that, send an email to jonbloodsprayATgmailDOTcom. I'll be emailing people one more time to make sure I have all the proper flight times and any other pertinent information. It would be great if from here on out we could handle everything by email or in the forum thread. This includes travel plans and what kind of gear you are planning on bringing.

You may have heard that we are putting together a little tournament we've been calling the Destructathon. You also may have heard that there would be a prize pack. Well, here's all those details.


ROUND 1: Twister

ROUND 2: Left 4 Dead 2

ROUND 3: Clue

ROUND 4: Super Meat Boy

ROUND 5: ?????

Don't forget that each round has a twist that will not be revealed until immediately beforehand.


PRIZE PACK:

There's a few things that aren't 100% yet, but the following items are assured.

A Mr. Destructoid Bobblehead, and a custom made Dtoid Crowned plushie, brought to you by our own ZodiacEclipse.


A custom champ shirt designed by ZombiePlatypus(we will order it afterwards, in order to have the right size for the winner)



A set of these:

Also designed by ZombiePlatypus,


To go on your new pair of these:

Yep, those are Astro A30's. I don't even have a headset that nice, so allow me to give a pre-emptive "I hope you enjoy them, also fuck you." to the winner.


I guess that's it for now. If you have any questions leave them in the comments, the forums, or email me.


Can't wait to see you all soon!