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Where the toys are cool and the arcades gleam, that's where we'll be! Whether it is Hito's meat or Karaoke, that's where we'll be! With lightsabers to play and Papa John's to eat, that's where we'll be! Just tilt the screen or take a seat, cause this is where we be!

If you live in the area, join the BaltimoreDC Google Group! If you don't live near us, better luck next time. But check out our friends and see if there's a NARP happening near you soon!

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And it had been said that on the 9th day of November in the two thousandth and twelfth year of our Lord (Pac-Man), that all members of the coolest community on the inter-webs within driving distance would amass at the house of one Procyon, and there would be much rejoicing.

Games would be played, beer would slate their thirst, and laughter would ensue from the hearty gathering that took place. And they would descend into sleep at some ridiculous hour, only to rise up again the following morn, to play more games, and there would be much rejoicing.

Some gamers would attempt to find the most obscure arcade game they could find in the List of MAME, while others would filter through page after page in the Disc Volumes of PlayStation. Yet others still would attempt to familiarize themselves with far too many Wii games than could be counted. And there would be much rejoicing.

As the sun arced across the sky, food would be grilled, and Changston, holiest of cooks, would prepare a great feast for the masses that did show. And more beer would be drank than ever there was beer, and naturally, there would be much rejoicing.

Dancing aplenty would occur, either in front of the Kinect, or with Wii Remote in hand. Fighting in the Streets would occur within a room, sometimes II, sometimes III, and sometimes even IV (but almost never I), such was the majesty of the magic that occurred within Procyon's home. Plumbers would grow immense on Mushrooms, and there would be much rejoicing.

And sadly, Sunday would eventually arrive, and those who slept, curled up on couches or sleeping bags, or sleeping bags on couches, would awaken, bleary eyed, for one last round of gaming before the traditional trip to the Japanese Hibachi would commence. And then Procyon would gather the remaining attendees around, and he spoke thusly:

"It has been my honor to host these NARPs for lo these many years, and I shed a tear at the thought that this is to be that last one that I host. But my newly wedded wife is now heavy with child, and we must prepare for the coming of the legendary gamer, the one that is to save the future of video games for all eternity, for he shall be the one born with the Golden Joystick of legend. And it is my duty to train him for the upcoming battle against the mobile gods. And so, I embrace my destiny, and wish you all well."

And while a few tears were shed at the end of this speech, all felt relief at the wonderful memories created during the past weekend, and the fullness of the Japanese meal in their stomachs... and there was much rejoicing.

Along the lines of all the changes that have taken place across the Dtoid website, the Baltimore/DC NARP is on the precipice (take THAT SATs!) of a change itself. Having been the host for three years, and just recently married, Procyon will be serving as the host for a sixth and final NARP. The time has come to pass the torch. But we don't have to worry about that for another six month or so because it's TIME TO GET OUR PARTY ON!

That's right, approximately one month from now, every member of the Dtoid community is invited to Bumblefuck Maryland, to Procyon's impossible-to-find house in the middle of nowhere for a 48 hour video game fest sure to delight, surprise, and create long-lasting memories that you'll still cry about 30 years from now.

For the uninitiated, there will be at least seven TVs running and hooked up to all your favorite consoles, like the Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, PS2, Dreamcast, Saturn, Gamecube, and even an Atari 7800 with tons of old-school cartridges (remember cartridges?) And last, but by no means least, is Procyon's MAME cab-ish thing in the room dominated by hundreds of Transformers.

Don't think you have to be from Maryland, DC, or Virginia to attend, we have people coming from Pennsylvania, Delaware, and as far away as New York, Ohio, and even Massachusetts. So if you have wheels and your free that weekend, come on down. If you want the details, please make sure that you subscribe to our google group, dtoidbaltimoredc (dtoidbaltimoredc@googlegroups.com) where you can get the address, learn about what everyone else is bringing , and even learn about Changston's amazing contribution to Scientific America!

That's right folks, while the west coast snobs bump elbows at E3 wine and dine in L.A., us fine east coast folk have the opportunity to do it up right, and experience one of the best aspects of the Destructoid community: the NARP.

You COULD miss this event. You COULD stay home and play Diablo III all by yourself. But think about what you'll be missing out on. A weekend in the woods of pure gaming epicness with some of D-toid's finest members. Access to a PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, GameCube, PS2, Dreamcast, Saturn, a full MAME joystick, and even an Atari 7800, a Virtual Boy, and a Vectrex if you are so inclined. It's all here, and it's all waiting for you to get your greasy hands on.

The attendance list is starting to swell in the final week leading up to the NARP. So what's it gonna be this weekend? You can stay home alone playing Diablo III in your underwear. Or you can chill with a cool group of people, some of whom may be playing Diablo III in their underwear... but at a NARP. Wanna get in on the goodness? Join the dtoidbaltimoredc google group!

Of course, if you get tired of games, you can always engage in some girl talk with Tino and Moe P0w3r...

That's right ladies and gents, the first 2012 BaltiNARP-extraordinaire will be kicking off in less than two weeks!!! Come Friday June 8, attendees will be rolling up from every corner of the northeast, and then some, for 48 hours of pure video gaming bliss. Classic games, current games, and everything in between will pretty much be at your finger tips, while you chill at Procyon's crib nestled in the woods half way between Baltimore and Harrisburg.

In anticipation of this mighty event, we're asking all you past attendees to share your fondest memories of BaltiNARPs gone by. What have you enjoyed most, how long have you been attending, what brought you out the first time?

If you're never been before, but plan on attending, that's cool too! Tell us what you're most excited about and most looking forward to.

We look forward to seeing you all, old and new!

Once E3 wraps up, the party is moving from the west coast to the east coast. The festival known by many names such as the BaltiNARP, the Mid-Atlantic NARP, and the Raven's Cheerleaders car wash in my driveway (please?) takes place from Friday evening, June 8, to Sunday afternoon June 10. All the usual suspects will be there. For the uninitiated, you can look forward to a weekend of pure video game debauchery at Procyon's house, including:
* The Nintendo basement: Wii and Gamecube, along with some GBAs for those rare GC/GBA compatible games (Pac-Man Vs.)
* The Next-gen living room: Xbox 360 and PS3 on a 46" flatscreen.
* New-school vs. Old-school kitchen: In one corner, a PS2. In the other corner, an Atari 7800
* The Sega love room: A Dreamcast and Saturn set up and ready to go in the guest room.
* And last but not least, the joystick pedestal of MAME, the god of ancient and classic arcade games.
Do you really want to miss this? I don't think you want to miss this. So get on board the dtoidbaltimoredc google group, to get all the latest up-to-the-minute details and let us know you're coming. Otherwise, how will Changston know how much delicious food to cook?

It is going down Novemeber 4th, 5th, and 6th. The one, the only, mid-Atlantic D-toid gathering for all you mid-Atlantic folk, is happening just about one month from now. Free up your calendar and block that weekend out, cuz you won't want to miss it. We're talking:

7 TVs in 5 rooms running video games 24 hours a day,
Just about the coolest group of gamers you'll ever meet,
Amazing food prepared by Changston (if he can make it),
All your favorite hits from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s,

And the fun of having your ass handed to you in direct head to head competition that doesn't involve using the interwebs. Highlights will including pouring 40s out on the lawn for our dearly departed brother Nick Chester (and by dearly departed, we mean moved to Boston), while early comers get to rummage through the box of promotional video game goodness that fell off the back of his moving truck when he pulled away, and Procyon greedily snatched up.

Don't miss what may very well be the biggest pre-MAGFest NARP bash ever held on the east coast!