I never read The Da Vinci Code. I saw the movie. It was entertaining when it didn't scream retarded made up connections and other bullshit. I didn't read Angels & Demons either, even though my step dad gave me a copy because he liked it and thought I would like it too.

Today I saw Angels & Demons with my mom. We were going to see Aliens Vs. Monsters, but we're lazy and left too late. We should have just gone in 30 minutes late and enjoyed.

Conspiracy stories aren't my thing. I only saw the second half of The Number 23 and didn't care because it was crap. National Treasure makes me want to vomit. Nicolas Cage lately has been making me want to commit a felony. I just can't suspend my disbelief like that to be entertained. Angels & Demons is this exact kind of movie. And my intestines started cramping (or something) half way through it.

Spoilers follow. It doesn't really matter though. You already know what's going to happen in this movie before it shows you.

This movie was bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. It was destined to fail after introducing the hadron super collider as the very first plot device. I'm pretty sure they couldn't come up with a sensible story, so they used the most complicated and confusing things that the public doesn't know jack shit about to mystify us and make it appear as though they're super sophisticated and know all the secrets of the universe. Jerks.

Most if not all of this movie is a complete and utter waste of time and resources. The scene where the power turns off and they nearly run out of oxygen is a great example. Neither one dies, nothing changes, they don't ever mention it again for the rest of the movie, and the characters go on as if it never happened. They don't explain why it happened either. It's just some extra footage.

It seemed as the whole thing was just tired. A bomb somewhere hidden, blows up at midnight taking the city with it! This dude and his female side kick have to follow some really interesting and terrificly difficult clues! Nah jay kay, it's literally just statues that look like they're pointing. You'd think Tom Hanks being such a smart guy would have noticed that every location they were "pointed" to had big ass pillar right in the middle of it.

It's just all the same bullshit we've seen before. And it wasn't good when we saw it then. There's a lot of random bits too that made me laugh. My mom and I were the only ones laughing when the only black person in the entire movie shot blood out of his lungs when the lady tried to give him mouth to mouth. Or all the awkward and random history lessons. "You guys don't even read your own history, do you?" is what I think Hanks said to the other people. He was explaining bullshit that no one understood because all they heard was blah blah blahullshit.

If you saw The Da Vinci Code, you've seen a better version of Angels & Demons. At least the first movie doesn't bother with god particles. Ugh. I don't even feel like bringing up that fuckin assassin character. They blew up his fucking van?! How convenient. That whole movie is convenient.

I guess they were just trying to have a fictional movie with a mature and twisty plot... maybe? Fucking movies these days.