|By PlatformPCPS3Xbox 360Wii U3DSPS VitaAndroidiPhoneiPadOther HardwareEditor's Choiceby Author||By LatestThe best and worst s : May Returns Nihilumbra Gunman Clive 2 Life is Strange: Chrysalis Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare:... Dying Light Grim Fandango Gravity Ghost New Nintendo 3DS XL Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn... Citizens of EarthMore reviews||By GenreActionAdventureFightersFree-to-playMMOMusicPlatformShootersSportsRPGStrategyMore genres|
"POPO, WAKE UP!"
I immediately open my eyes as soon as someone shakes my shoulders, but that doesn't stop her from slapping me across my face. Turning the other cheek not out of forgiveness, but because of the momentum of her hand, I quickly snap back to face the aggressor.
"What?" I do my best not to raise my voice, however deserving of it she is. I start rubbing my cheek to ease the stinging, as though my mitten is a magic healing wand.
"Come on, we're going to be late!" Nana seems so giddy that not only does she not see the harm in what she did, but she also couldn't keep still, as evident by the way she rapidly jitters in place.
"Did you get any sleep at all?" I couldn't help but ask, deciding to drop any chances for an apology when it seems like one isn't coming.
"No, and honestly, I don't know how you could!" Nana is blinding me with her smile as she grins so widely that I would think she's interrogating me with those pearly whites. "Can you believe we're competiting in the Super Smash Brothers tournament!? I mean, do you remember how the last one turned out? It was utter madness!" Nana sounds so much like a child, despite being the older of us.
Truth be told, I couldn't disagree with her: after turning down the invitation to join the first ever fighting foray and having caught it on TV, I always wondered if Nana regrets her decision. If she did, she didn't show it... least, not around me. After all, I was the reason she didn't attend the original.
That's why, when we not only received an invite for the second competition, but a way for both of us to fight side-by-side, she couldn't say "yes" fast enough. I swear, she practically jumped over the table to sign on the dotted line. I recall it quite clearly: she used my face as a springboard.
"Yeah, I do remember... which is why I was taking a nap," I lean back on my chair, since the bed is claimed by my sister, and pull my hood over my face. "It was just constant, frantic fighting, so I wanna get as much rest as I can before we have to head out," I reason, and she seems pretty accepting of it, so I just close my eyes... but there was a reason she woke me up the first time.
"Well, I hope you got enough, because we're up next," she uses her hand to lightly lift up the rim of my hood and poke her nose into my view. She then teases me by pulling the hood down a bit too hard, almost as though she was giving me a wedgie for my head.
"..." I almost groan. I should be annoyed, but as I watch her walk out the door, yet keep it open for me to travel through, I couldn't help but smile. She better not slam it in my face, I think to myself as I pick myself up off the seat to accept her offer.
"..." I rub my still-stinging nose as I stand next to my sister at the entrance to the arena. She turns to smile at me as she sees the result of her prank, but she appears unapologetic. The smirk on her face suddenly become a huge grin as soon as the lights turn off and the spotlight turns on.
"Ladies... and... gentlemen!" the announcer's deep and booming voice echoes throughout the stadium in tandem of the cheering crowd. I don't know whether its the giddyness or the aftershocks of the man's tremble, but Nana's body is shaking in excitement.
"We are pleased to announce the second ever... Super... Smash... Brothers... tournament!" the man sure is taking his sweet time drawing out a simple sentence, but everyone appears to be eating it up. Still, if I knew he was going to drag this out, I could've caught some extra sleep.
"Today's match will be set in the Pokemon Stadium!" the announcer must be telling it to the broadcast audience as everyone here could plainly see the Pokeball symbol painted in the middle of the green mat. "As before, the fights will be between four combatants, with various items thrown in. The person is eliminated when they are knocked out of the arena and are not able to return."
"Now then, let's introduce our competitors!" the crowd roars loudly, prompting me to cover my ears not because their voices are deafening from here, but because Nana is joining in despite being in a tunnel that echoes. "First up is one of the fighters from the first tournament: the pink puffball that was in the start of it all, give it up for Kirby!" the announcer signals the arrival of the aforementioned.
"Ah, he's so cute!" Nana couldn't resist giving into her girlish whims when she sees Kirby take the stage, waving at the crowd with a high-pitched "hi!" after crash-landing in on a flying star.
"Next on the list is another veteran: the hero of Hyrule, please give it up for Link!" the announcer points to a young man in a green tunic walking into the stage. He has a sword and shield on his back, ready to whip out when the battle starts. Silently, he only nods the crowd's cheering.
"Not as cute as him though..." I swear I could hear Nana swooning over the Hyrulian, but before I could even think of a question does she act all flustered. "B-But neither of them are as cute as you, baby brother!" she suddenly feels the need to pinch my cheeks, prompting me to push her playfully.
"New to the fighting scene is the medicinal murderer, who could hurt you just as much as he can heal you, please welcome Dr. Mario!" the announcer alerts everyone that the man in the white coat isn't the medic in case someone gets too injured, but rather someone dishing out the damage.
"What? New, my foot, that's just Mario in a costume!" I couldn't help but exclaim loudly, baffled how no one could recognize his face when it doesn't even have a pair of glasses across them. "What's next, he's going put on a tie-dye T-shirt? Or leather straps over his head and a sock over his hand?" I joke about the various other get-ups he would pretend to be a different person in.
"Last, but certainly not least," the announce is obviously referring to the fact that there's two of us, signaling that it's our time to arrive. "The pair of the peak, the siblings of the summit, let's give a warm welcome to the Ice Climbers!" he tells everyone of the nickname the village gave us, and no sooner do we step out of the tunnel do the crowd cheers for us. Nana is certainly enjoying the limelight as she blows kisses to the crowd, while I myself merely take it all in.
"Now, before we begin, we must explain how the Ice Climbers will compete," the announcer feels the need to clarify our unique situation once we approach the others.
"Popo and Nana will be fighting together, side-by-side, as a tag-team, as agreed with the other fighters. However, there are certain conditions associated as to how they are eliminated: if Nana, the stronger of the two, is knocked out of the ring, Popo is allowed to fight by himself. On the other hand, if Popo is knocked out of bounds, then both competitors are considered eliminated. This rule is made in place to ensure fairness of the duo, as other fighters need only target Popo, who is the weak link that doesn't pose a threat solo."
"..." I, uh, don't know how exactly am I suppose to handle hearing that, and it doesn't help that Nana is patting me on the back as though to seemingly patronize me.
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," she assures me, and I believe her.
"Alright, if everyone is ready, then let's get smashing!" the announcer makes such a horrible pun that I wish he is in the ring with us, but I decide to direct that energy towards someone else. With a tap on my shoulder, Nana points to our first opposition being Dr. Mario, and with an exchange of nods, we await for the signal. "Go!" the announcer yells with the crowd.
We immediately rush to Dr. Mario, allowing Link to handle Kirby. As I snicker at Link's futile attempts to deflate the pink puffball as it hovers around him looking for an opening, I swing my wooden mallet at the doctor in hopes of getting a hit. He dodges to the side, and when Nana tries to mimic my attack does the doctor flip away.
"..." I stand there dumbfounded because I don't understand why Dr. Mario would pull out a two-color pill the same size of his oversized fist out of his coat, much less how one is supposed to swallow that. "What are you going to do? Hurt me with medicine?" I joke, but no sooner than that quip leaves my lips does he chuck that thing so hard at my knee that I drop to the ground.
"Ow!" I grab my leg as I tumble to the floor, rolling and writhing in pain. I should've expected an arm from someone who plays more sports than anyone else in the world. "Wh-What are you going to do with that?" I ask fearfully as I look up and see him holding another giant pill: whether he's planning to shove it down my throat, or shove it up my suppository, I really don't want to know.
"NO!" Nana makes her way towards me at full sprint, using the momentum of her speed to further aid in her assault. "He's prescription... only!" Nana spins around and whacks the mad doctor in the face with her mallet, the adrenaline in her body being fueled by the fear of malpractice. With a look of shock and awe, the doctor flies off into the distance, clearly not going to return.
"K.O.!" the announcer exclaims loudly, prompting the crowd to voice their satisfaction of the spectacle.
"Whew, are you okay?" Nana seemingly ignores everything to make sure I'm alright, because of course she has to ask, the worrywart... though I did get hit in the knee pretty damn hard.
"Yeah, just fine, thanks," she offers a hand to help me up to my feet, my knee threatening to buckle under the pressure. She appears to be thankful, as evident as a sigh of relief, but our troubles doesn't end there.
"L-Look out!" my eyes widen, but they don't reach the lengths of the pink puffball behind my sister. The moment she turns around and see Kirby opening its gaping mouth, it is already too late: Kirby starts inhaling her in, and despite her attempts to claw on the ground with her mittens, she gets sucked in in seconds flat.
"Aahh!" I could only yell out after being taken by surprise, like a deer in the headlights. Without a second thought, I immediately grip my mallet and start beating the stuffing out of the pink plushie-looking thing before he digests her and she comes out the other end. "Spit-her-out! Spit-her-out-right-now! No-one-eats-my-sister!" I inadvertantly time each impact with each word I shout.
"..." Kirby might as well be a squishy toy used for anger management, judging by the way it deflates and reinflates after every hit. After being squashed so many times in such a short period of time, Kirby finally spits out my sister like a foul-tasting piece of candy. Not expecting how fast she'll come out, Nana crashes into me on her way back, knocking me over. With no energy left to fight, Kirby spins around in a dizzy daze before becoming unconscious.
"Sis!" I give her a hug, only to quickly regret that course of action once I realize how dirty she is. "Ew..." I voice my disgust as I slowly pull my arms back not because of dramatic timing, but because she's a little slimy and my jacket is sticking to hers. "You're so wet, and lying on top of me," I inadvertently incite a blush across her face, and she quickly gets off of me in embarrassment.
"Ow, what was that for?" Nana hits me on the arm once she recovers from the awkwardness. Was it because of something I said? I don't see the harm in that innocent comment.
"For hitting me!" Nana clarifies the cause of the contempt, but she needs to explain herself as I don't recall doing so. "What makes you think smashing Kirby with a mallet when I'm inside him a good idea!?" Nana wonders what was going through my mind when it happened.
"It... seemed like the smart thing to do at the time," I could only shrug my shoulder. In hindsight, perhaps it was stupid to think that, but luckily, the conversation quickly shifts to something else.
"Aahh!" a girl-ish scream echoes pass us as we follow the source of the sound: apparently, that pink shooting star is Kirby flying off the stage. In tandem, me and my sister turn to see Link's sword shine in the spotlight as the crowd cheers the Hyrulian for his knock out. Not content with being in second, Link immediately jumps in the air and tries to bonk us on the back with his blade.
"Nana, move!" I push my sister out of the way upon realizing she's in the way, taking the full brunt of the hit. Stunned by impact, I couldn't do anything as Link slashes me off the stage, knowing that only I would need eliminated for him to win. And it looks like he just might, considering how far I'm flying away, the audience gasping in anticipation.
"Popo!" she calls out to me, but instead of attacking Link from behind, she brushes past him and runs to the edge. Then, in a move no one expects, she immediately jumps off the arena and skydives towards me, hoping she'll catch up.
"Nana, what are you doing?" I couldn't help but wonder, but she doesn't say a word. Instead, she opts to have her actions explain her thoughts: as soon as she grabs my matching jacket, she rummages around her waist to find a rope, then attaches it to my body. As soon as it securely latches, she then uses her arm to throw me back into the edge of the arena, her body lagging slightly. I manage to make it back, but Link is relentless.
Still as silent as ever, Link only raises his foot, ready to stomp on my fingers instead of hoping that my hand will slip due to the mittens, or Nana drags me down below. In a moment of quick-thinking, I immediately move the hand off the edge before his foot lands, then aim the palm of it at the Hyrulian. Within seconds, a cold, freezing gust filled with ice shards emits from my fingers, forcing Link to use his hand, then his shield, to protect himself.
"Smart move, Popo!" Nana shouts a praise as she zips up the rope and jumps in position. Seeing that Link can't see past his shield, not wanting to rish having a shard of ice in his eyes, Nana quickly turns around and offers a hand to help. "Tag me in!" she tells me, and as soon as my hand touches her does she lift me up and turns towards the tunic.
With Link's shield made of metal, it is clear that our abilities to freeze things would be as useless as it was when we were living in a snowy mountain village. Our mallets aren't going to make a dent either... and that's if they didn't just break upon impact. However, Nana eventually comes up with a plan of attack, and quickly dashes towards Link.
"Follow my lead!" Nana doesn't tell me what her idea is, but apparently I'm a part of it. As she hops up, Link raises the shield, bracing for impact... but the twist to her assault is that she grabs his shield, then raises it, and the person holding it, up into the air. With his eyes widen in surprise, Link could only watch as Nana then proceed to slam him back into the ground, landing on his back.
Once I understand what she wants me to do, I immediately run towards them and mimic her moves exactly: I jump into the air, grab his shield, then slam them both down into the ground, ensuring that he lands on his back. Once isn't enough, and two is too few, so we repeat the process a couple of times until Link finally lets go of his shield, the wind knocked out of him.
"Ready to finish this, Popo?" she brandish her mallet.
"Ready when you are, Nana," I whip out my own.
With a nod, we both swing the mallet round and round like two tornados in sync with each other, building momentum with each spin. Link, still in a breathless daze, couldn't do much except watch as we creep closer... and smile, as though okay with being outplayed. As we both hit Link with the end of our attack, the Hyrulian flies off the stage, and we are the only ones left.
"GAME!" the announcer signals the end of the match, and the crowd cheers our names as we stand there in awe of what happened. "The winners of this match are the Ice Climbers!" the announcer makes it official, and once we realize that it's over, we couldn't help but celebrate!
In joy, we jump up and down, but inadvertantly at different times: everytime I'm up in the air, she's already on the ground, and everything she's going up, I'm already heading back down. Still, we are too excited to care, and at the very end of the routine, we give each other a very high, very hard high-five, smiling at the crowd as they cheer us on.
"We won!" Nana excitedly exclaims, giving me a bear of a hug. "I knew we could do it if we did it together!" I hope she doesn't expect me to answer, as she buries my face so deep into her chest that I could probably pass out from the lack of air. "This is the happiest moment of my life!" she squeals happily and, as much as I want to breathe, I decide to let her have her moment in the sun.
"POPO, WAKE UP!"
Apparently, that still isn't enough to get me up: with the voice sounding so dreamily distant, I only quiver my lips before letting my half-lid eyes sink back down like a rock on water. So, to ensure that my eyes would remain on her, she shakes my body harder than the cold could then slapped me across my face.
"Wh-what is it, Nana!?" I jolt awake, rubbing my red cheek. I turned towards the assailant with her hand raised like catching someone with her hands in the cookie jar. Her large mittens did very little to cushion the blow, but at least she didn't use her wooden mallet.
"Oh, thank the Goddess you're up!" Nana hugs me so tight that I could feel her chest pressing against mine even through her thick jacket. "I was so worried!" she cries out louder than the blizzard outside, "I called your name a few times, but you didn't respond so I thought.... so I thought..."
"...Hey, calm down, it's okay," she clearly doesn't want to finish that statement, so I stopped her from doing so.
With the harsh weather outside, we took shelter in a cave in order to escape freezing to death, and she must've thought it wasn't enough when she saw that I was still slumbering. With a breath of relief, she retracts from the embrace, all sense of worry from her gone.
"Come on, we should get going soon," I say to her as I get up to gather our belongings. I didn't notice at first, too preoccupied to make sure our stuff's okay for the trek ahead, but as soon as I grab my bag and turn to her did I see her concern for me replastered across her face.
"Wait, you wanna head back out now!?" Nana is shocked to hear such a suggestion, and even more so that I was serious. "You just woke up! You need to rest more!"
I couldn't blame her for being worried about me: we've been together all our lives, and as the older sibling, she must see me as someone to protect. However, I have to explain to her why waiting is simply out of the question.
"I can't," I tell her as I resecure my backpack across my shoulders, taking care that it wouldn't slip off so easily. "The condor took the vegetables from the village, remember?" I ask if she recalls the entire reason why we're on this mountain in the first place. "Its the only supply we have for the winter, and the longer we wait, the more it's going to eat," I try to reason.
"But it's not going to eat it all, at least not so soon," Nana raises a counterpoint, hoping to deter me from being what she perceives as reckless. "Besides, even if it eats enough that there's not enough to go around, I'll just give you my share!" she even offers, but that reasoning isn't working in her favor.
"I'm not going to let that happen," I don't want to see my sister hungry anymore than she wants to see me starving. "I'm going to get that food back," I say it with such determination that she is now convinced that there's no talking me out of it. "So, are you with me?" I ask if my dear sibling is going along.
"...You gotta ask?" she isn't smirking because she knows that I already know what her answer would be, but because she finds it surprising that I'm the one asking. "I'm the one who volunteered for this mission, and I'm the one who asked you to tag along, remember?" she reminds me of the reality of the situation.
"...Is that a 'yes'?" I mirror her smirk. I didn't hear a clear confirmation.
"Lead the way," she tussles the top of my head as we walk out of the cave, knowing that we'd be doing this together. As we head out into the raging blizzard, whose cold stings the uncovered skin worse than a dozen bees, I couldn't help but voice something on my mind.
"So, why did you ask me to come with you?" I cock my head to the side as though tilting my ears to better hear her response. It appears to have been completely unnecessary though: whenever I ask her why she was so adamant in bringing me along, she would only smile and blush before quickly changing the subject.
"...You know, for all that talk back in the cave, you better have a plan for taking down that condor," she wonders if I was just being headstrong. Even though she might not have answered the question, she seems to be placing a great deal of faith on me. Could that be the reason why?
"There it is," Nana alerts me to the condor's location, prompting us both to crouch down to avoid early detection. The blizzard has subsided, so the weather is much clearer and warmer.
As we quietly take cover by a couple of rocks, our feet crunching the snow as we leave footprints, we peak out through the cracks to see the giant bird placing the vegetables in its nest as though getting ready for a big banquet. Unforunately, due to the troubles the Toppies were giving us, we didn't have time to come up with a plan of attack.
"What do we do?" Nana asks me for any ideas, but I am a little too in awe of the condor to really come up with anything. The bird looks much, much bigger in person, now that we're getting more than the fleeting glance we did when it swiped our supplies. But that size could also be to its disadvantage, as inspiration strikes me when I spot an opening.
"...I got it," Nana turns to me to hear what I have to say. "There's a spot over there I can hide in," she rotates her head to follow my finger as I pointed it towards something that looks like another cave. "If I can get its attention and run there, it should be too big to grab me," I may not know the exact measurements just using my eyes, but it seems very plausible.
"...And that's when I'll sneak over and steal the vegetables back!" Nana hushly exclaims, already knowing the second half of my plan before I got a chance to say it. In her giddyness, she attempts to snap her fingers like a genius for figuring it out, but her mittens prevents any audible sound to emit. As I snicker at her failure, she only lowers her eyebrows at me.
"Anyway..." she causes me to nervously smile as I try to avoid her gaze, and her ire, by getting into position. "Be careful, Popo," she couldn't stress this enough: as much as she would want to trade places with me, she trusts that I know what I'm doing.
"I will," I put her mind at ease as she awaits for my signal. Despite the heavy boots I'm wearing, I might be getting cold feet, but as soon as I see the condor pick up an eggplant to devour did I call out to it. "Hey, over here!" I immediately get its attention by running out with my arms flailing.
Just as we thought, once the bird set its sight on me did it drop the vegetable, shriek a shrilling caw, and launch itself in the air to nab me. As Nana sets out to snag the stuff, I sprint as fast as my feet could in the relatively thick snow towards the cave. Right before its claws could snatch me away, I slide into the cave just barely out of its reach, careful not to lose my wooden mallet.
"Ah!" I'm not out of danger just yet, as in its desperation did the condor try to pull me with its feet before shoving its beak into the cave. Using the wooden mallet, I smack the sharp beak away, causing it to retract itself from the pain. "Whew," I sigh a breath of relief, thinking that the everything is going swimmingly.
However, things rarely go according to plan, and no sooner did I catch my breath did I lose it to the growling roar echoing in the caves. As it turns out, I'm not the only one in here, and once I turn my head did I see a polar bear who is not happy to see me in its home. I don't know why it was wearing pink shorts and sunglasses, but I couldn't ask it as I didn't speak its language, as demonstrated by its bloodcurdling roar.
Without much hesitation, I use the mallet to smack it hands as it tries to swipe at me, but I know I couldn't take it alone. As I try to run out of the cave, however, the condor appears to be guarding it, knowing I would need to leave eventually. With the bird outside and the bear inside, I couldn't even begin to decide which is the lesser of two evils.
"Oh no..." I mutter to myself once I realize the position that I am in. As the bear inches closer, as though to draw me closer to the condor, I couldn't help but scream out for my sister. "Nana!" I might have provoked the bear as it decides to start charging at me.
As I ready the mallet in my hands, tightening the grip as best as my mittens could, I get ready to smack the bear... only to hear my hero reply back.
"I'm coming!" I could hear her from behind the condor, and as all three of us turn towards the direction of the voice did we see the condor get bonked on the head so hard that it crashes into the snow. "Tag me in!" Nana raises her hand, and as soon as I narrowly avoided the bear's lunge when it sees me trying to escape did I "tag" her in.
Changing targets as though it doesn't care who it gets, the bear decides Nana would be sufficient enough, and tries to pounce on her. However, much better at this than me, Nana uses her mallet to repel the attack away, and quickly follows up with an upwards swing. Knocking the bear back so hard that it lands on its side, it attempts to try again, only to meet the same fate. It didn't feel like trying a third time.
"Look out!" I call out, hoping that Nana would respond in time, but I noticed it too late: the fight caused Nana to be pushed back towards the entrance of the cave, well within reach of the waking condor. As it grabs the back of her jacket with its beak, I immediately leap into action. Right as Nana gets picked up do I come in and slam the mallet down at its feet, causing it to caw out in pain, dropping my sister in the process.
"My turn!" Nana calls out as she spins around and smack the condor with the side of her mallet, causing its head to crash into the side of the cave. "Whew," Nana uses her hand to wipe some sweat from her forehead to signify that all the fighting is over.
"Thanks for the help," Nana smiles as me, prompting a slight blush across my face. "Come on, we got a village to feed," she leads as we make our way out of the cave, careful not to trip over the bird.
When I glance over at the nest, I could see that every single one of the vegetables sitting at the nest are gone, all safely tucked away in two bags hidden off to the side. As she picks up the bag of over dozens vegetables, and I the other half, we start trekking down the mountain.
"..." I could hear my stomach rumbling, having worked up quite the appetite from the fight moments before. In fear of embarassment, I hope Nana couldn't hear it herself, but as soon as I see the smile on her lips did a blush of red sweep across my face. The blizzard ended too early.
"Somebody's hungry," my sister is always coddling me... but she isn't wrong in this case, despite how much I would want my stomach to stop giving her something to talk about. "When we get back, I'll make you my famous eggplant parmesan," she promises, giving me a surge of enegy necessary to make the trip back.
"Really?" I ask with anticipation until she nods her head in confirmation, her cooking every bit as delicious as she claims it's famous to be. "Then I'll be..." I stop to pull something out of my pockets to wear, "Looking forward to it!"
"...Are you serious?" Nana couldn't help but chuckle when she sees the sun shining off the pair of sunglasses across my face, the very same one that I took from the polar bear earlier. "You're such a goofball," she playfully pushes me on the shoulder as payback for making her laugh.
"Here you go..." I gaze in awe as Nana sets down a plate of her eggplant parmesan right in front of me, the steam still wafting into the air as it arrives fresh from the oven. I take a whiff of her homemade meal, the scent is so overwhelmingly tempting that I readily grab my fork about to dig in, only to be stopped by my sister.
"Not yet," Nana smacks the back of my hand with the back of her spoon as she takes a seat across the table. "We say grace first, remember?" she reminds me as she stretches her arms towards me, gesturing my hand to be held in hers. Begrudgingly, I set my fork down and accept.
"Dear Goddess, thank you for allowing us to bring food back to the village," Nana acts as though we only succeeded due to Her divine assistence. "And we thank you, Goddess, for seeing us from our mission safely," I could hear her praying, and see her eyes already glancing at me as I peek open, prompting me to shut them tight. "Especially my brother Popo," she adds at the end, "Amen."
"Amen," I mean that, because that means I can finally eat. As I pick up the fork a second time to cut off a piece of eggplant and wrap it around the spaghetti, I immediately bring it to my mouth... only to hear a knock on the door. "..." I look at the bite reluctantly, with it being so close yet so far.
"Hehe, I'll get it," Nana smiles at me warmer than the fresh food as she gets up out of her chair to answer. Even though she's allowing me to continue eating, I couldn't help but feel curious as to who would be interrupting dinner, so I decide to take a peek myself.
"Hello?" Nana cocks her head to the side quizzingly as she opens the door and sees the person behind it. "How can I help you?" she asks politely, only to remember how cold it is outside. "Uh, we can talk inside, if that's what you prefer," she offers, and the stranger seems to agree. The second he arrives does he immediately know what it is he wants to talk about.
"Aren't you Nana? The one who climbed the mountain and save the village food supply from a condor?" he appears as though he doesn't need a response despite asking, but Nana nods her head anyway. "Alright, let me explain why I'm here: my company wants to invite you to compete in a new fighting tournament called 'Super Smash Brothers'. We think you will be an excellent addition to the roster, and we hope that you will attend."
"Me? In a... fighting tournament?" Nana is surprised to hear that, and it's quite visible from the look on her face. It's true that she knows how to handle herself with her wooden mallet, as evident by how she took down the bear in the cave, a tale which has been told numerous times around the village. However, whether or not she wants to compete or not, all it takes is one look at me to make up her mind.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline," Nana causes the man's eyebrows to raise, as though he hadn't expected a refusal. "I don't go anywhere without my brother Popo," I couldn't see my sister's face from here when she turns back to the stranger, but I could just tell she's smiling as though it is so radiant that her aura shines through her back.
"Oh no, don't worry, we can accommodate him as well," the stranger doesn't think that it's a big deal if one more tags along for the ride. "We can arrange for him to stay at a hotel with you, if that's what you would like," the stranger really seems to be bending over backwards for Nana, but she shakes her head, thinking that the offer isn't enough.
"No, I'm afraid you don't understand," Nana decides to clarify what she means. "My brother and I do everything together, and that includes fighting," Nana reveals the truth behind the refusal of the invitation. "Unless he's out there in the ring with me, I'm going to have sit this fight out," Nana finishes any and all talks on the matter right then and there.
"...I see," the stranger could completely understand, and he is sure that the tournament wouldn't allow tag-team fighters. "Well, I'm sure the company will regret this turn of events, but perhaps we will try this again another time," the stranger accepts the decision and turns towards the door. "I'll just take my leave," he opens the door and walks through the opening, "Good day."
"Good day to you as well," Nana closes the door behind him before turning back around to face me. "I'm surprised you didn't keep eating," she sees nary a spot of sauce across my lips. "Come on, the food's getting cold," she gestures me to return to the dining room table where we can resume our dinner.
"..." there is an awkward silence that fills the atmosphere, but it's quite clear to me that my sister Nana really values my presence here. While it would've been interesting to see how she would fare in a tournament of other fighters given her skill, we say nothing more on the subject for the rest of the evening, having other things to talk about.
So, it's finally 2015, huh? You guys doing good? Have your New Year's Resolutions down and trying to figure out how to either do them, or get out of it? I mean, I know I-
Argh, you know what!? Forget the formalities! Excited by all the fetish blogs to surface, I will now be adding my entry by talking about one of my favorite hentai mangas I've ever had the pleasure of reading through (there might also be another fetish blog, because come on, I gots plenty)!
Like I said before, I want to talk about some of my favorite henai mangas during my weekly contribution to the Cblog Recap team! I think everyone on the recap team, if not the entire site, has their own unique style of blogging, and I want to voice what I thought were great reads. However, I figured that since there's no better way to start than with what could pretty much be considered one of my favorite hentai mangas ever... I might as well be my first personal blog of the year!
So, buckle up (or down, if you get aroused enough) because this beast of a book is actually over 200 pages long, separated over 6 chapters. Now, don't worry, most hentai mangas I'm going to talk about are going to be much shorter works, like an average between 20 to 40 pages because they'll be mostly works from a monthly hentai comic book series (think Shonen Jump, but with porn). That way, if I decide to include these into the recaps, and you enjoy me talking about videogames and movies, there'll still be there. I decided to talk about this particular one first because not only did I actually imported from Japan for a pretty penny (yep, money on porn), but it also inspired me to write my own novel that's more or less finished.
[DISCLAIMER: I'm sure that many people want a link, but I'm wary of providing one. I don't need to tell you that the link is obviously NSFW... HOWEVER, it might be riddled with pop-ups and/ or viruses, and I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's electronics or anything. Proceed at your own risk.]
They grow up so fast!
Obviously, if this is going to be my favorite hentai manga, then it's gotta feature my favorite fetish: brother-sister incest, especially with an older-sister/ younger brother pairing! The premise of the book, established in chapter 1, is that Noboru is related to the student council president Keiko, who is seen as strict, yet beautiful and admirable, by everyone. Now, if you read or watched any hentai, then you already know how big of a slut she's going to be, so it's no surprise to see that she is absolutely obsessed with performing fellatio with Noboru every single day! When they were children, Keiko was curious about the male anatomy, so after she licks child Noboru's penis and sees him ejaculate, she becomes addicted with the sensation, and starts perfecting her technique.
She starts getting better over the years, and now that their parents aren't going to be home for months, they have more privacy and opportunity. However, they never did anything more... until now. After confiscating what they thought to be a porn DVD of cumshot compliations from a student at school, the two find out that it's actually an adult film about brother-sister incest, and after enough foreplay (if you can call orgasming multiple times "foreplay"), they eventually decide to try it out for themselves. Now, the sex scenes are actually pretty long, but a lot of them involve blowjobs since the artist really loves drawing them, so it can feel a bit redundant. They mix it up every now and then over the story though, but just a warning nonetheless. Regardless, the end of the chapter involves them confessing their feelings for each other, albeit a bit hornier than I would've liked.
Sick in BOTH senses of the word...
Chapter 2 starts off with the two making out in a classroom, only for Noboru to realize that his sister's getting a fever, so she has to stay home. Since she's sick, she can't perform her favorite hobby of giving blowjobs, and after withholding herself for so long, she starts feeling uncomfortably horny. She even calls him "dick", which I thought was pretty funny used in this context, and she's so desperate for the dick that she'll take any opportunity she can to suck it. As the one needing to take care of her, Noboru cooks up a batch of rice porridge to help nurse her back to health... but Keiko won't eat any unless he feeds her. You may be thinking that that's cute, but since Keiko's a horny pervert, she wants him to feed her mouth-to-mouth, using his tongue to whip it into hers. And, of course, since she is a horny pervert, they end up doing it after they run out of food.
Naturally, Noboru gets sicks the next day, and now it's Keiko's turn to nurse him back to health... by repeating what they did yesterday.
As an aside, since this chapter is relatively bloated, I've actually had something like that rice soup before, and I personally thought it was so tasteless that it's like drinking water with rice in it... and believe me, it's as appealing as that sounded. However, there was these deep-fried bread-like sticks (think churros) they serve alongside it that was pretty good. I have no idea what it's caused, but it's quite tasty to eat... but then again, I enjoy eating dozens of unsalted saltine crackers.
Looks like she already had her fireworks display...
Chapter 3 involves the two going to a fireworks festival as something like a date. Noboru was really surprised to see that his sister is inviting him, but he has no regrets coming after seeing his sister in a yukata (ohh... that's a fetish!). He even finds her adorable by the way she gets flustered eating a candy apple! However, other than simply wanting to hang out with her boyfriend brother (not boyfriend's brother!), it turns out that she had a secondary reason for coming here: to sample the really huge, and by huge I don't mean famous, meat sticks that they sell here! Noboru then feels conflicted: on one hand, if it weren't for these hot dogs, they would've have come to the festival in the first place... but when he sees her shove that thing in her mouth, he immediately becomes jealous. I mean, I would too: those things were like the length of his arm! Sensing that something's wrong, Keiko assures that Noboru has nothing to worry about as, you guessed it, they have sex once more. Now, this sex scene involves object insertion, but with some kind of weird pump thingy I've never seen before. Honestly, I was expecting him to shove one of the meat sticks inside her since I'm used to seeing food shoved down there, like that one Rule 34 image of Palutena getting fucked by a carrot after that Revolting Dinner anime, but it didn't happen.
Afterwards, the two just decide to chill out and watch the fireworks together... if only because Noboru's sperm has Keiko's kimono sticking to her skin. Try saying that 5 times fast.
After receiving a call or text from their mother who forgot something, Keiko and Noboru's mother is coming home for a quick visit for Chapter 4! Because they are so used to just doing it at a moment's notice, Noboru is slightly ticked that they might have to hold off the heat for today... but Keiko, being the smart pervert she is (she is student council president, after all!), she has a plan to keep the fire going! After stopping by a bookstore, they get home and Keiko shows Noboru the results of her "do-it-yourself" project: a glory hole! Keiko tells Noboru that he can use this hole to suit both their sexual urges without fear of getting caught, and after much reservation, Noboru finally gives in and uses it. He starts to be more aggressive, since not being able to see the other person makes him less inhibited, and Keiko is enjoying it! Unforunately, the mother arrives home in the middle of it, and although Noboru locked his bedroom door, Keiko hadn't (smart thinking there), and thus hides the hole and her naked body by wrapping herself in her blanket and pushing her ass against the wall. Of course, this just gives Noboru easier access to what he wants, and he eventually starts having sex with Keiko despite her mother being in the room for some brief exhibitionism (another fetish)! After a short talk, the mother has to leave, so no threesome (she only stayed for, at most, five minutes), but Keiko and Noboru still go about their business.
After they're left alone, Keiko and Noboru sees no other reason to have the glory hole, especially since it's much more "powerful" than they estimated... but since the sex from before was so good, they decide to use it one more time.
At least she's honest.
Now, so far, the story has been pretty set in reality. I mean, I'm not saying this does happen, but it could. However, the events during Chapter 5 does dip into the realm of fantasy, and is the only chapter to do so. After their parents left, their father's role in this story is sending them something called "Fountain of Youth" pills, which transform one into a younger version of themselves for a day. Naturally, Noboru finds it shady and suspicious, but Keiko is willing to try it out by popping one in her mouth... only to trick Noboru into swallowing it with a little French kissing! At first, it doesn't work, but then Noboru starts shrinking into he's finally a toddler, which now begins another favorite fetish of mine: straight shota (younger boy, older woman)! Keiko starts teasing Noboru for having such a tiny penis when he was a kid, which brings him back to his fears about how easily he would ejaculate when he was a child. Keiko assures Noboru that he has nothing to worry about, and allows Noboru to have his way with her... which he gladly does now that her boobs looks bigger from his smaller size! They start having sex, because what else do they do on a daily basis, and Noboru eventually overcomes his childhood fears... of, again, premature ejaculation.
At the end of the chapter, we see that Keiko has taken the pill herself. There's no lolicon sex, unforunately, but you do see her playing with Noboru's penis. Cutely enough, after Noboru confesses his feelings to her again, Keiko gets flustered, and attempts to hide behind his erect penis like a shy schoolgirl. I'd totally post the picture if censoring it didn't defeat the purpose.
She's too cute!
Finally, we make it to Chapter 6, in which Keiko and Noboru actually go out on a date! Well, I mean, they technically did during Chapter 2's fireworks festival, but the characters don't care because they're tired of hanging at home all day. "Unforunately" for Noboru, Keiko's idea of a date is having sex in other places! At first, she "innocently" guilt-trips him into taking a photo booth picture, but her perverted twist on this trope is to have a shot of her cumming inside of her mouth! Still not satisfied, she wants to give blowjobs at movie theatres and department store changing rooms, and she has no reason to stop there! After ordering something to eat at a diner from cumming so much, Keiko tries, and succeeds, in convincing Noboru in having both fellatio and anal while hiding underneath their table. After they aren't satisfied, Noboru wants to head to the bathroom so he can move as wild as he likes without drawing attention, but he doesn't want to remove his penis from her butt so, funny enough, they have to huddle over there. Do I really need to tell you what he has to do to motivate her to move faster? After they make it, more sex stuff happens, and then they finally leave the restaurant to sit on a bench in the park, commenting how risky that was. But still not satisfied, Keiko wants to do it once more, reasoning that no one comes to this area at night.
The book ends here, but did you enjoy it? Like I said, I actually own a copy of this myself because I like it so much (the images are ripped from a site though): with the great art style, funny humor, and wacky premise, it's hard not to find it charming... and apparently, I'm not the only one!
Turns out, this has actually been adapted into an actual hentai animation! I haven't actually seen it yet, as I only recently discovered it... but considering that I went through the hassle of not only paying a pretty penny for the book, but also having to track down a copy in the first place, you can already guess that I really want to watch this! And I hope to! From the "trailer" (I dunno what that video is supposed to be), it appears to go from Chapters 1 to 3, and if there's a part two, then I can't wait for it to be released! Now, if any of you have seen it, and better yet, know a safe website to watch and download it (or just hand me the download itself), PLEASE let me know! I've been burned by viruses hunting hentai before, and I've been afraid to search for it!
As an even BIGGER favor, if anyone sees this for sale on Blu-Ray, PLEASE don't hesitate to direct me to a site where I can buy it! I know importing a Blu-Ray would be pricey, but as long as it isn't too outrageous, I will be willing to buy it. I'm sure that Japan and the U.S. have the same Blu-Ray region, so it should be compatible. However, if it's only on standard DVD, I would actually be willing to buy a region-free DVD player for it, so again, LET ME KNOW!
That apple ain't gonna be the only sticky thing she'll taste that night...
Well, that's the end of that! Not bad for the first time, eh? :P
Anyway, let me know what you think down in the comments below! Again, I'm not sure if I want to keep this in my personal blog, or stick it as an aside on my weekly Recaps, so any thoughts or suggestions would be really appreciated!
Well, 2014 happened. Destiny didn't set the world on fire, unless you count the sparks that flew from everyone grinding. The Evil Within, as pretty good as it is, shouldn't be the last thing to Shinji Mikami's legacy. Watch Dogs was probably one of the only few games that I went to a midnight launch to and traded it in the same week.
Needless to say, there have been several disappointments. Don't get me started on games slated to come out this year, only to be pushed back into the next. Hey, I get it, take the extra time to make the games. Learn from Assassin's Creed: Unity's mistakes. But that still leaves some broken hearts when the release date's coming up.
But hey, the year wasn't all that bad. I bought me a Wii U for less than $250 (had to trade a couple of things to knock the price down though) and I don't regret it: as much as people bag on its early years, the Wii U really hit it out of the park this time, and I have my faith in Nintendo. Sure, I'll buy a PS4 the same day Final Fantasy XV comes out (don't you jinx it!) but the Wii U will definitely have a spot for me next year with Splatoon and Xenoblade Chronicles X.
As great as next year seems, this year had some rad releases, and I'm here to give you my list of what I consider the Top 10 games of 2014! Now, as a disclaimer, let me admit that I did not complete some of the games on the list. I'm sorry, it's unforunate, and I seriously considered not making a list until next year when I did. But, since no one gives a fuck anyway, I figured why wait?
I will say this though: this list isn't really made with an order in mind, so just assume I like all these games equally. I also did not play every single game to come out this year, indies especially, so try not to hold it against me.
Honorable mentions: Dragon Age: Inquistion and Grand Theft Auto V (PS4/ Xbox One)
Reach for the Sky...
As a big fan of Dragon Age: Origins, I bought Dragon Age 2 as quickly as I could, but it was a severe letdown. Now, if you like it, great, but I personally found it to be a waste of 20 hours (my playtime's actually 25, as there were, admittedly, some cool parts sprinkled throughout). Having played Inquisition for about 30 hours now, I have mixed feelings about it: it's a big game, and the scale of the plot feels pretty damn epic all things considering, but unless I'm just not far enough yet, it feels lacking in story content. I got to Skyhold and played a couple of side-missions that I had access to (boo to the Power system!) but it feels like filler quests despite being the "main" objective for going to that region in the first place. I figure the Inquisition arc will be the better, but people tell me that the side-quests are the meat of the game, and that's worrisome if I'm getting pretty bored of it. Again, maybe I'm not far enough, because I did do "Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune" and it was along the lines of what I'm expecting, but I guess we'll see. Either way, it may not be on the list itself, but at least it's better than not getting a mention at all.
All of the Lights
As I said back in my Top 10 Favorite Videogames of All Time blog, Grand Theft Auto V places number 2 on that list for good reason: it had three playable, likable protagnists, some pretty amazing graphics for the last-generation consoles, really nice animations, attention to details like being able to shoot a car's gas tank then have it actually run out of gas... I could go on and on! So, hearing that not only is it getting a port that makes the graphics look better, but also adds more pedestrians, traffic density, and a dedicated first-person view (remember you could go into FPV during certain situations, like lap dances) makes me feel like I could fall in love with it all over again. Seriously, I'm already planning to get this as my first purchase when I get a PS4 (aside the aforementioned Final Fantasy XV) and I plan to spend hours just reliving the glory of the single-player, with amazing missions, heists, and overall awesomeness.
[Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles]
Posing with Posers
Okay, this may be a port of a port, but it still holds some sentimental value to me. Tales of Symphonia is one of the first JRPG with an actual story (Pokemon don't count!) that I played, and one of the first games where I actually cared about the characters: Lloyd was a good guy, Genis is his best friend wrapped up in his schemes, Colette is just honest-to-goodness pure, Raine is my waifu, and so on. The story starts out super cliche'd and continues being so for a while, but once it hits you what's happening behind the scenes, like Colette's supposefully "beautiful" transformation into an angel and the cost of doing so, the game gets real real quick. I remember being pretty damn captivated when I was younger, and I still get into the game whenever I replay it; it holds up well, in my opinion! Sure, perhaps much of my love is due to nostalgia and rose-tinted glasses, but other than Vesperia, I never met a cast so charming as the Symphonia crew. I mean, Sheena gets flustered real easily, Kratos is a badass, Regal is the secondary badass, Zelos is the playboy who hits on every living female, even the seemingly underaged and emotionless Presea, who wields a big fucking axe.
Now, the PS3 version doesn't run as the 60FPS that the Gamecube version did (however erratic it was) and unforunately the unvoiced skits and tedious dungeon designs leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but Symphonia had a lot more going for it. It had the Affection system, which slightly alters the story for a personal touch, and pretty great voice acting, considering it was perhaps the only Tales game to have a Union cast. The combat may lack some of the newer mechanics like Free Run, but it's still as fun as it was back then, and can actually be more difficult without it! Overall, while newer entries in the series have their strong points, Symphonia feels like it was better in terms of the overall package, and this version comes with all the new things added to the Japanese PS2 version of the game, making it somewhat the definitive version!
Oh, Dawn of the New World is included? Well... okay then.
[Bravely Default: Where the Fairy Flies]
The Four Heroes of Light
Square Enix not only proves that they still got the magic in them with this title, but that you can teach an old dog new tricks. Don't get me wrong, I like Final Fantasy XIII (it had some glaring faults but I enjoyed it) but people want Square Enix to return to their roots, and they did... but they did with the modern gamer in mind. Sure, people love random encounters and turn-based combat... but instead of merely giving us what we want, they allowed us the option to adjust the rate of random encounters AND the ability to speed things up to make grinding a bit less tedious. Yeah, it got added in the second version of the game, I believe, but better late than never!
What about the combat system though? Well, they added something called Brave Points, or BP. When you go into battle, you must use BP to perform an action, such as attacking or using magic. You get one BP per turn, but you can also get another BP for choosing to "Default" that turn. Essentially, this means that you're giving up a turn, but now that you have two BP, you can perform two actions the next time you're up! You can either cash in those BP, or Default again to earn more! You can even spend BP prematurely by choosing to "Brave" that turn, meaning you perform up to four actions, and you'll pay off the owed amount of BP over the course of the battle. This adds an interesting layer in battles, as you can go all out to slay the dying boss... or risk becoming defenseless as you regain BP ever so slowly.
With great graphics (use that 3D!), likable characters ("Unacceptable!"), beautiful art designs (Florem looks nice!), awesome music (my favorite's "Land of Radiant Flowers"!), this is simply a well made game. Maybe not a well-designed one, the second half of the game considering, but still worth a look!
[South Park: The Stick of Truth]
Apparently, the Truth Hurts
Remember when I mentioned "broken hearts" earlier regarding delayed game releases? Well, that's how I felt near the end of 2013 when it's announced that this game would be delayed until early 2014. Despite having the writers and voice actors from the show working on it, I was skeptical that the game could be good, and if I were to be let down, I'd like it to happen sooner than later. Thankfully, the game is awesome! The graphics really were true to the series, with the signature style right down to the animations being so perfect that it really could be confused for an actual episode! Don't even get me started on the story itself: the narrative is among one of the funniest that I've ever played when it comes to videogames, and that's a real rare thing to come by with all the melodrama games try to lean towards nowadays. If you're a fan of the TV show, you're definitely going to want to check it out because it's pretty much a playable movie, with a wacky plot that only Trey Parker and Matt Stone could pull off in their own unique way.
The combat is also pretty fun as well! Utilizing the same mechanics as Paper Mario, it's a turn-based game that requires more interaction from the player in order to maximize attack power and reduce damage taken. Sure, the game is actually really easy to cheese (just Bleed everyone), but the premise of kids fighting with makeshift weapons is such a delight to see, and the special moves each class has can range from the Thief's badass Death of a Thousand Cuts to the Jew's cringe-worthy Circum-Scythe! You can also bring along one of the staple South Park main characters with you, including Princess Kenny, who has the ability to self-revive in battle as a nod to his continuous string of deaths in the show! This game is simply one of the best fanservice a South Park fan could get, and I swear, if there's a sequel involving the kid's superhero alter egos like Kenny's Mysterion, I would lose my mind!
[Persona Q: Shadows of the Labyrinth]
I Burn My Dread to Reach Out to the Truth!
You know what else makes me lose my mind? Crossovers, and Persona Q is definitely one of them! Mixing two cast of characters from the same series, Persona 3 and Persona 4, players not only get to see these faces again (though the majority of them reappear in the canonical Persona 4 Arena Ultimax) but also get to see them interacting with one another in a goofy fashion! As if that wasn't enough, this is the only other game where you can play as the protagonist from Persona 3 AND have Shinji in your party, so that makes me even more excited! Unforunately, there's no social aspect of the game, which means also no Social Links, but the characters are still pretty true to themselves, and there's a bit of mystery as the adventure takes place during the Culture Festival of another version of Yasogami High. There's also an introduction to possibly one of my favorite Persona characters ever: Rei! She's this girly character who is just too adorable for words, and the way she gets so hyped up for food is just lovely! She has one of the best voice actress I've heard, and that says a lot coming from an Atlus game!
I know I'm just talking about the non-gameplay aspects, but it doesn't stop there! The game also blends the Etrian Odyssey's first-person dungeon crawling with some of the staples from the SMT series, such as Personas, weakness exploitation, and All-Out Attacks! At first, I didn't think I would like mapping out my own areas, but frankly, it's becoming second nature, and I really dig it! I use Auto-Map because it's somewhat pointless not to, considering that you need to step on almost every individual spot in order to get access to a special treasure chest (though you can also use Play Coins), but I really like this style of gameplay! The game is still as challenging as the other games, and it can get a bit cheap with the enemy instant-kill attacks, but overall it's a fun title that's sure to last you hours! I remember playing for so long that my eyes were so blurry that I couldn't see the time on my digital clock!
...That's not a good thing, is it?
[Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
The Winner is You!
Phoenix Wright was one of my heroes in the DS library as I loved the Ace Attorney series, and although I don't like reading, these things suck me in with their excellent writing and courtroom-style drama. Seriously, I play those games upon hours on end, almost to the point that I'd have to sit next to a charger so I wouldn't have to put it down. So, as a fan of the series and crossovers, as soon as I heard of this one, I knew that I had to have it: I didn't know who Professor Layton is, but I didn't care because Phoenix Wright is awesome! Forunately enough, I actually really ended up really liking the English gentleman as well, and his voice actor strangely sounds pretty damn cool! The premise of the game is that Professor Layton, Luke, Phoenix Wright, and Maya (gosh, how I missed her!) all get sucked into this book, and end up appearing in a magical fantasy world where they work together to defend Witches from being falsely accused and burned at stake. As someone who loves this mix of fantasy and courtroom drama, this was an amazing premise to me, and the story had its hooks on me for the 25+ hours.
While people are mixed about the ending (other than preferring a certain direction, I also think Phoenix and another character could've been more prominent), I thought this was a wonderful tale to be told, and the production values seems pretty damn nice as well! Taking cues from both series' soundtracks as well as some original composition, the music is easy on the ears: I get chills whenever I hear "Layton's Theme" running through my headphones, and I feel so epic when I point out a contradiction and "Objection!" plays to let me know I'm right! The anime cutscenes are so gorgeous that I really wish for an anime version of the game just so I can watch the whole thing in motion! Sure, the puzzles might be weaker and the courtroom sessions have a bit more hand-holding than I would like, but I love this game so much, and I can't wait for the poster to arrive so I can hang it up in my room!
Pictured: The amount of people who agree with me... including me.
Ay, I know what you're thinking! "This guy's got jokes!"
Actually, I'm serious. I really love Titanfall. Was it an overhyped game that had way too many articles on virtually any videogame site? Yes. But was it fun? Yes, yes, it frickin' was. When I bought the Xbox 360 version a couple of months later after the Xbox One version, I was addicted to this game, so much that it was all I could play for a while. The entire premise of the game may be Call of Duty with mechs, but damn it, that combination was like a Reese's peanut butter cup to me! Add in those brain-dead bots that gives you something else to kill in order to score points and cooldown on your Titanfall and I was hooked on bloodlust and the fast-paced combat. Seriously, I thought no FPS could give me an adrenaline rush since Modern Warfare 2, but Titanfall had me sitting on the edge of my seat, outright standing sometimes, with my heart-thumping loudly and my hands so jittery that I couldn't drink that 4th can of Mountain Dew.
Huh... I wonder if there's a relation.
Anyway, while campaign was a letdown, and the game was like a firecracker in terms of how long it lasted, I enjoyed every single second of the game. Jump kicking enemies, snapping people's necks, rodeo-ing Titans... they weren't kidding when they said they wanted a game where every match has some kind of "water cooler" moment that you could talk to others about! And I tell you, nothing makes me feel more awesome than being on the losing team with not only the most amount of points than anyone else in the match, but also being the sole survivor of the entire match!
Fly Me to the Moon, Let Me Play Among the Stars
Okay, if we're talking about amazing moments in gaming, you have to mention some of the insanity that happens in Bayonetta 2! PlatinumGames took one of the coolest games of last generation and not only delivered an epic sequel, but refined it so much that it's nearly perfect! Sure, I really dislike the "still" cutscenes (I understand that they save resources and disc space, but it's still a letdown) and perhaps the final boss might not be as big in scale as the Goddess you kill in the original... but don't tell me fighting angels on a fast jet flying through the city before being chased by a giant monster on a bridge isn't one of the hypest moments in gaming, ever! The combat is just so fluid, and Witch Time is so addicting to pull off, that I don't care all that much if they shoehorn a fight every now and then: it's great dodging attacks at the last second before unleashing a combo in slow-motion! Plus, with so many weapons to use, including dual chainsaws, you can experiment with different combos and see what works for you!
The story is also surprisingly pretty damn good! While it lacks the humor of the first game due to the severity of the story of the second, there's some pretty awesome plot twists sprinkled throughout the adventure! Let's just say, without spoilers, if you played through the first game, that you'll certainly appreciate the turn of events in this one! Speaking of the first game, that game is bundled in, meaning that you're getting two great games in one! And if that isn't enough, the second game is also filled to the brim with so much content to unlock, such as advanced techniques, items to help you steamroll through enemies, and costumes that Bayonetta looks so good in, that you'll definitely get your money's worth! Anyone with a Wii U should play this game, if only because the boss fights against the Masked Lumen is perhaps some of the coolest boss fights ever. Hey, if fighting inside of a demon with blood splashing around everywhere isn't awesome, then what is?
[Super Smash Brothers for Wii U]
The More, The Merrier
Despite the Ice Climbers not coming back (I know I'm beating a dead horse, but I still haven't forgetten about Mega Man's exclusion in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 either) and no Adventure Mode-style game type, I think ths newest entry to the series is among the best. The game has the biggest character roster to date, a lot of characters are different enough from each other that they feel unique (screw Dark Pit), the graphics looks absolutely gorgeous in 60FPS, and this is the first entry to include 8-Player Smash. Yes, 8 Players can get together locally and create madness! What other console game can tout that? Not getting into the whole console wars, Super Smash Brothers can be a pretty great party game, but having the ante upped to 8 participants allows it to be even more of a spectacle to either watch or take part in! Plus, it makes matches so intense and so wild that you're lose yourself more often than not, and we had some hilarious moments when someone inadvertently walks off stage because they couldn't keep track of where they are. And when someone grabs a Hammer and starts wailing on everyone off the stage, it might as well be a fireworks show!
The music collection is also really dope, as you'll hear iconic Mario medleys as well as classic Mega Man themes, and even Sonic Adventure 2's "City Escape"! Seriously, there's hundreds of tunes included, and a lot of them are worth listening to! There's also hundreds of trophies to collect, and they are all pretty detailed for something that is only a 3D model to look at. However, the main draw of the game is the fast and frantic gameplay, whether you have 8 players with items cranked up to the max, or a simple yet engaging 1v1 with no items or distractions. If you have a Wii U, there's no reason you should pass this up!
[TellTale's The Walking Dead: Season 2]
Luke, use the Force!
TellTale's The Walking Dead: Season 1 is one of my favorite games to play in 2012. I've beaten it a couple of times now, and the emotional ending gets me everytime. So, naturally, when a sequel is announced, I felt giddy... but also skeptical, as how will the game play out now that Clementine is the one you control? I thought it would feel weird, but it actually adds a new dynamic to the game because instead of playing as a character capable of strangling someone with his bare hands, you play as a tween girl who has to use her wits to survive. It also allows you to play the sympathy card because people see you as a harmless child, and I couldn't help but keep trying to preserve her innocence throughout the adventure. While, in the original game, I was concerned with her safety, the sequel had me concerned with the kind of person I wanted her to be, and for a game to evoke such a response to me is something personal and worthy of being so high on my list. I also cared about my companions, especially Luke, who is extremely likable despite first impressions, and I genuinely felt sad whenever someone dies.
The gameplay is also much more streamlined, which is a plus to me: no more wandering around aimlessly as you almost always know where to go next. People lament the lack of puzzles, but on repeated playthroughs of the original game, I found them to be highly annoying, so I'm okay with them not appearing as much in this one. However, while the added QTE makes the game feel more action-y, the best part of the game are the choices you make. Sure, none of them really amount to much, but it's interesting to be presented with options and wondering what the best course of action to choose. Seriously, some of them had me sitting there for as long as possible trying to do what I consider morally right, and being chastised for my decisions can be a real heartbreaker. Speaking of heartbreaking, the ending is right up there with how I felt with the first season, as I teared up something awful. Now, there are multiple endings, so you may not get the one I got, but I really loved the ending I got because it involves an emotional farewell that really hit me hard in the gut.
[Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed]
I've seen enough hentais to know where this going...
Really, did anyone not expect this to end up on my list? I wrote a pretty lengthyblog about it before, and I'm perfectly okay talking about it again! Set in the Japan's Electric Town Akihabara, you play as an otaku who must rid the city of these enemies called Synthisters, who are essentially vampires. But how do you defeat such a thing? By stripping them of their clothes so you can expose their skin to sunlight and burn them away! The game is so goofy in its self-aware nature and parody of otaku culture that it's neither serious nor sexual: the game doesn't try to be anything more than a light-hearted adventure, and it doesn't exactly attempt to titillate the players with big, bouncy boobs and jiggly asses. Honestly, the main reason you're playing this game is the novelty of it alone, but man, am I love with the gimmick! Stripping people's clothes off is so stupid yet fun to watch, and whether you're using your fists to fight or a giant kebab, there's plenty of ways to make the experience wacky. You can even unlock different fighting styles like the Drunken Fist or Telekinesis... you know, when you want to strip people without touching them, because you're polite like that.
The things I absolutely adore is the voice acting and writing. The writing has some legitimately funny jokes woven in, and most of the time the English dubbers sound like they had a good time recording. The best lines, which is practically anything that comes from the main character's mouth during dialogue sequences, aren't voiced at all, unforunately, but they're still funny to laugh out loud to. The music may not be great, and the graphics are definitely deserving of the budget title, but there's a lot of charm in its presentation. The areas in this game are modeled after the actual Akihabara, and everywhere you go you can see posters for animes plastered everywhere. Heck, you can even watch videogame trailers on the television screens if you so choose (though they loop every 10 seconds and get annoying after a while)! The loading screens even have ads on them, and you can collect brochures of actual store locations too, in case you ever decide to visit the city for yourself! I love this game, and if they continue to make more, I will probably pick up any and all sequels to come out stateside (even if they don't have English dubs; I'm willing to make that exception to my personal rule)!
So, did you agree with my list? Well, no two lists are alike, so let me know in the comments what you think! Better yet, get to blogging yourself!
I met her when I was just setting out on my journey around the region. She was a scared little girl, attempting hiding her face whenever I glanced her way. I slowly approached her with an arm extended as though to offer her my hand, but she must've took it as a threat.
Without much hesitation, she immediately vanished from my eyes.
Was I going crazy? Did I just imagine her, or was that one of her many special abilities? I thought that I would never get the chance to find out for sure, as she could be many miles away from here, so I kept on going.
However, it wasn't long until I ran into her again, residing in a rather large patch of grass easily able to hide her from predators... and presumably me. I tried to make contact once again, but the moment she looked as though she was going to teleport away did I retract my hand back. Figuring there would be no more interaction between us, I decided to not let her further delay my journey, and kept moving forward.
It wasn't long into walking out of this route did I heard the scuffling of feet behind me. In a brush of a forest, I was paranoid that some dangerous foe could be lurking behind me, but as a mere human without any means to defend myself, what could I do? Overwhelmed with fear, I decided to run and hide behind a nearby tree, hoping to lose sight of my pursuer whilst gaining an eye of them myself.
To my surprise, I saw the same little girl as before, turning her head left and right in fright. With a whimper, she started getting scared, and she eventually cried out. Taking a look around, I noticed that it was only her in the vicinity. Was she the one following me? If so, why would she, after she went through the effort to avoid me like the plague?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I thought, so I stepped out into the path to reveal myself. With something sounding like a joyous glee, she immediately ran up to me to give me a hug as though I was someone to save her from the dark forest. As I reached my hand out, she did nothing to signal she would disappear, and within seconds did I pet her soft head, careful to avoid her horn.
"Do you want to come with me?" I asked, and she replied with the most vigorous of nods. With a smile, I introduced myself as she told me her name. With her by my side, we left the forest and onto the next stage of our adventure.
"You're quite the tiny thing," I said to break the silence.
Time has passed, and so did our childhood.
I had become a teenager, and she became something like one as well. She was still a little shorter than me, and I would tease her about it often. Hey, we would need something to talk about while walking to our next destination, and she knows that I'm kidding, despite the huffs and puffs she would say in response.
How do I know? Because even as she turns her head away in frustration, she always stayed by my side. Always. We would be here for each other, no matter what happens.
And as though the goddess has chosen to test our trust did we run into trouble.
As soon as we got into a clearing, several purple horned creatures aimed their heads at us, ready to ram that thing. I recognized these monsters via a special electronic guide I have in my pocket: despite the advantage my friend has, these creatures' poison stingers are still bad enough to send either of us in a hospital should it come into contact with our skin.
At first, she wanted to teleport us away, which she could do quickly. However, as she was trying to hold me close, but one of the monsters immediately stopped her from casting her spell with a hard tackle, knocking the two of us away. Relentless, the monster singled me out as the most defenseless, and tried to give me a taste of its horn. The wind knocked out of me, I couldn't stand in time, let alone run. With fear, I closed my eyes and awaited the pain to arrive.
But it didn't. Instead, a loud "thud" immediately echoed throughout the area. When I wondered what caused such a thing, I opened my eyes and saw that the purple creature has been knocked to the ground... hard. Unconscious, the creature was out like a light, and in its wake as my friend standing over me. She turned around to flash a smile, as though to tell me that I'll be okay.
And I believed her.
The other monsters readied themselves to attack, as though thinking they could take on my friend. I don't know why, maybe they thought the one she knocked out before was simply weaker than the rest, but what I did know was a fight was unavoidable. With another attack, my friend used something to make the monsters confused, and soon did they start to attack one another as though unsure who the true enemy was.
Thinking that the problem has been solved, she walked over to my body and helped me up to my feet. However, as soon as my hand was held in hers did I see that one of the monsters had recovered quicker than we expected, and immediately ran towards us, With no time to react, it sink its stinger into my friend's back, poisoning her with an ailment just as she did to him and his friends.
With my friend weak, and I defenseless, I was worried was is to happen... But, by some miracle, the one purple monster that, in its confusion, took out the other monsters, had seen the one remaining to fight. Charging as quick as it could, it rammed into the last purple creature with such a forceful headbutt that it renders them both unconscious, leaving me to tend to my friend.
Weakly, she was happy that I was safe, but I wasn't going to let her faint. Though my ribs hurt a little from the attack before, I carried my friend as best as I could, supporting her weight with my own. It was a long walk to the nearest treatment center, but we were going to get there.
"Help, I need a doctor!" I shouted as soon as I walked into town, my friend breathing slower and slower each passing second. Luckily, the treatment center was located at the edge of town, so as soon as a nurse spot us did she send her pink assistant for a stretcher. Unable to stay with my female friend, the nurse told me that I could wait in the lounge, and that she'll call me as soon as possible.
The wait was excuriatingly painful, but it was probably nothing compared to what my friend had went through. As I sat in the bench, all I could do, other than pray to the goddess for her recovery, was to replay the scene in my head over and over again. No matter how much I thought about it, it doesn't changed what happened.
She risked her tiny body to save mine... and I very much appreciate it.
As soon as the nurse exits the room, this time to tell me that I could see my friend, I immediately sprang to my feet. In spite of decorum, I quickly ran to the room, only to hesitate right after placing my hand on the knob. Thinking about what to say, what to do, I stood outside until it finally hit me.
I would tell her that I love her.
With that set in my head, I turned the knob and pushed open the door.
"You're looking lovely," I smiled as I walked into my room to see my adult-sized friend lying in bed, the sunlight streaming through the open window as she looks out towards the morning sun.
"..." she smiled back as she rubbed her expanded belly hidden underneath my blanket, cradling it as though it was already a baby in her arms.
"I brought you some breakfast," I showed her the tray of pastry puffs I held in one hand, and her eyes lit up as soon as she saw them. As she took one off the plate to nosh on happily, a slight snicker let slip through my lips, and she turned to see what was so funny.
"You got a little something on you," I pointed to her face where a dash of creme lingered, but she had trouble trying to find it as she palmed her lips. "Here, let me get it for you," I used my index finger to wipe it off her face, prompting a slight blush across her cheeks. "You're so cute!" I noted her reaction out loud as I opened my mouth, since I wanted to lick the creme off my finger.
However, I sat there speechless as she turned the table on me. Just as I brought the finger up to my lips did she lean over and lick it clean for me, smacking her lips as though enjoying it. Flustered, all I could do is blush myself as she flashes me a pair of mischievous eyes, as though to rub her victory in my face. Still, as we sat in bed together enjoying the rest of the treats, all there were were smiles across our faces.
"...I love you," I felt like I had to say it before I bit down on yet another treat.
"...Gardevoir!" she said to me before biting down on hers.
As I mentioned before, I'm always planning my next videogame purchases even after I just bought a handful, so while I'm still drooling over soon to be released games (though, realistically, I may not get them all because of the lack of funds) like Hatsune Miku: Project Diva F 2nd, Super Smash Brothers for Wii U, Dragon Age: Inquistion, NES Remix, Persona Q, the Playstation 4 version of Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed... as well as catching up with games I've been meaning to buy like Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, The Evil Within, The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD... I'm already waiting for 2015 to drop because it looks like it's going to have many awesome titles coming out, and as a gamer, I can't just turn away and let them slip by! But with so many great games announced, which ones am I anticipating the most?
Well, I'm not gonna tell ya!
Ha, just kidding! Don't be like that!
Say it, don't spray it... oh wait...
When it was first announced at E3 way back when, I must admit that I might've been a little too hyped about a game where little boys and girls run around shooting fluids at each other... but the game looks very solid: an interesting twist on the shooter genre, instead of spraying bullets at one another and taking cover, you're trying to splatter as much paint as you can, and the team that covers the battlefield with their goo the most wins! The premise is very unique, but even better is that your character is a squid-like entity that can somehow sink itself into the paint and swim under the surface, despite how swallow it is, to zip across enemy lines and truly conquer the arena! The emphasis on colors, mobility, and personality (as the characters just oozes it by their looks alone) is what makes this title stand out to me, and I'm definitely keeping a close eye on this.
On a related note, Rule 34 of Splatoon has been so good to me: there's this one involving a squid girl (no relation to Squid Girl) reloading her gun by pumping her penis (yep, she's one of those) into the container that's just lovely, as well as another involving a little boy "filling up" little girl.
All you gotta say is that Hidetaka Miyazaki, the director of Demon's and Dark Souls, is attached and I'm already interested: those two games alone has earned a lot of goodwill from me, and if Wikipedia is to be believed, then he was also responsible for Armored Core: For Answer as well, which was one of my favorite mech games! Bloodborne also rocks a cool premise of being in set in a medieval fantasy world where a terrible disease is turning people in frickin' werewolves (which isn't very original, but better than zombies, runners or otherwise)! I can tell that the atmosphere is going to be wickedly dark and unsettling from the screens alone, and I'm hoping from what I'm hearing from the game mechanics, such as being able to recover health by hitting the enemy within a certain timeframe, that this game is going to change up the formula of action-adventure games by utilizing a risk-reward system.
Also, you get guns, which instantly makes this awesome!
[Dead or Alive 5: Last Round]
It's getting hot in 'ere (so what?), so take off all your clothes...
Ah, Dead or Alive... the game where the fighting's as good as the fanservice. Seriously, it may not be a true current-gen title, especially being the third iteration of the same game (four if you count the free-to-play Core Fighters version), but if it's packing all of the DLC costumes and characters, then that's alright with me: Kasumi in a schoolgirl outfit, Ayane in her school swimsuit, Sarah Bryant (who isn't a DOA girl, but she's hot so I'm not complaining) in a bikini... ugh, who ever said too much of good thing is bad must've been crazy in the head! Also, I think someone said that they are improving the "physics", if you know what I mean, and they were already pretty mesmerizing as it is too... so I can't wait to see how it's going to be now: boobs, covered in sweat in a bra-less outfit, bouncing in 60 frames per second... man, it's going to be heaven when I finally get my hands on a PS4 later down the line!
Did I just spent the whole paragraph talking about the girls instead of the fighting? Guess I know why I lose all those matches.
I think a Russian dominatrix said that to me once...
Honestly, do I need to say why? No? Good... because there's no much to say about this title, considering how little we heard about it. This goes double for Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem: when the hell are we gonna see something about it!?
[Xenoblade Chronicles X]
I believe I can fly... I believe I can touch the sky...
I never played Xenoblade Chronicles, despite being pretty interested in the mechanic of the game like Party Affinity or the Visions system, mostly because I didn't really have a Wii anymore at that point... but to be honest, I felt pretty "meh" by what I've seen: the game looked great, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't doing much to excite me, and it doesn't help that Gamestop are gouging prices. However, for this game, I was entranced by the first or second reveal: mechs are awesome, and seeing them whiz by in cutscenes, combined with the ability to create your own character to insert yourself into the story, was sweet, and the graphics definitely aren't too shabby! Coupled with the newest reveal in the latest Nintendo Direct with its look around the city and landscape that sprawls out as far as the eye can see, and I honestly can't wait to get this in my Wii U: it may have the same cons that made me avoid the original, but I'm very much willing to give this a shot!
[The Legend of Zelda for Wii U]
Bows before hos...
I'll be honest, I haven't really played any Zelda games because I usually get stuck within the first couple of dungeons, so I guess they never really clicked with me... but man, when I saw the trailer back at E3 and got a gaze at how gorgeous it looked (even Link was especially pretty!), I knew that this would be my first purchased Zelda game! Er, I mean, unless I buy the aforementioned Wind Waker HD or the next game on the list, but I'm probably not just because I'm going to be using what little amount of money I have trying to acquire the hard to find titles like the Project Diva F 2d game and Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed. Anyway, the point is, that one trailer was so nice and pretty that I'm willing to take a chance with this game, and it was only, what, a minute-long trailer? That's how impressed I was!
That badass arrow wasn't too shabby either: fuck crossbows!
[The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D]
Eh, you didn't need to sleep anyway.
When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly... sorry, I was watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as I type this up. Seriously though, growing up as a young child who was very much into bright and colorful cartoons like Powerpuff Girls, this game scared the hell out of me: the graphics were dark, the content even darker, and that moon was perhaps one of the scariest things I've ever seen! However, as I got older, I guess my tastes must've gotten a little warped because now I kinda dig the dark atmosphere: one of the first Zelda games I truly, truly wanted to try was Twilight Princess because, ever since I saw its reveal in a Nintendo Power magazine, I loved everything about it... and having played a little bit of it at a cousin's house, I was instantly hooked! Unforunately, unless the Wii U can play Gamecube games, or the Wii U gets an HD version (please, oh please, let it happen), I probably won't finish the title... but when it was announced that Majora's Mask is getting released on the 3DS, I'm much more willing to give it a shot now that I'm into the dark, spooky stuff!
I did spoil the story for myself a couple of years back though: sometimes, when there's a game that I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn't play, I usually wiki what happens, and there was a charmingly little manga adaption. However, I still plan to get this game and experience it for myself!
[Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain]
First he loses his eye, then an arm... I have a bad feeling about his testicles...
I wouldn't say that I'm a hardcore Metal Gear Solid fan, but I played many titles in the series, and I love them all (some more than others though). While Ground Zeroes is woefully so short and a bit lacking despite the "replayability", I still appreciate getting a taste of the next main game, and I can't wait to play The Phantom Pain: the trailers make it look like something epic, and each new features just hypes me up more and more! Yeah, the changes in gameplay might be a little too much on the action side, even more so than Guns of the Patriots, and the graphics of Ground Zeroes on the PS3 was pretty jarringly jaggy... but come on, it's a Metal Gear Solid game; we know that it's gonna deliver, and I trust Hideo Kojima to present a wonderful experience; he also promises it to be a pretty dark tale, and as I mentioned above, I'm very much into that! It's a little weird seeing Keifer Sutherland, a.k.a. Jack Bauer of 24, as Big Boss though, especially after playing all the games with David Hayter (not bringing this up!), but perhaps hiring a celebrity means that Hideo Kojima considers this project to be an important one.
Not pictured: actual hills.
Speaking of celebrities, Silent Hills stars Norman Reedus, a.k.a. Darryl Dixon of AMC's The Walking Dead, as its main character, and I gotta say, it looks very much like him: ah, the powers of the Fox Engine! The game itself, however, isn't exactly given much gameplay to go on, but it did have this cryptic something called a Playable Teaser that was a mix between scary and psychological horror that supposefully really nails the atmosphere (I haven't played it due to a lack of a PS4 :( )... and judging by the positive reception, I'd say that this series is in good hands. Even though Guillermo del Toro is working on this title as well, I respect Hideo Kojima's background and aspirations, and I trust that his creativity is going to be main reason why I'm, if not many of you other gamers, are going to be interested in this game: I'd even go as far as to say that Hideo Kojima is quite possibly the closest thing I have to a "hero" of sorts, as I find inspiration in his history and hope that perhaps I'll be able to follow in his footsteps.
[Tales of Zestiria]
Shoot... I'm going to have walk all the way there, don't I?
Like I said with Metal Gear Solid, I'm not a hardcore fan of the Tales of series, especially since so many of their games don't make it overseas like Tales of Fandom, Tales of VS., Tales of the Heroes, and subsequent sequels of Tales of the World... but I enjoy most of the titles I've played, and the cast of characters are amongst the best in gaming: you'll get to know them as friends who care for one another, and their banter are the main reason I love the series. Because of this, anytime a new Tales of game is announced do I immediately look forward to it, and hearing that this new one not only changes up the combat system, but also allow for an open-world like structure, not unlike what Dragon Age: Inquistion is doing, sounds like they are really trying something new with this entry. It's also returning to high fantasy, which some players might be excited to hear as I am: while I liked the modern-like setting of Xillia, especially since Ludger gets to wield dual pistols in the sequel and everyone has a cell phone for easy convenience, there's much more imagination to returning to the realm of fantasy, and I'm hoping to slay a dragon or two!
Anyway, those are my most anticipated games of 2015: I realize that I'm missing out on some great titles like Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Evolve, possibly Final Fantasy XV[ and The Last Guardian (hey, a man can dream!), but I tried to limit this to just ten games, and I had various reason for not including certain titles. Still, what games are you looking forward to?
Wait, what are you doing, writing a comment like that!? You better get your ass to the blog manager: someone better continue the chain!