9:47 AM on 01.26.2015
So, how does one start a blog that's about to get real heavy? With a funny joke, perhaps? Okay, here's one: a boy and a girl walk into a bar. They fell.
Alright, where do I begin from there? Well, I went to the school guidance counselor shortly after my first depression blog I've written a while back. I came in hoping that I would at least have some kind of path in my life, but it didn't exactly work out. I asked if they had any Creative Writing degrees but they don't offer it where I live. Okay, fair enough, so I tried getting the next best thing, which is probably becoming an English major, but...
You know that feeling that you feeling you're about to make a big mistake, and people know you're about to make a big mistake, but they won't outright tell you? That's essentially how that session went: the guidance counselor did virtually as much as she could (which isn't much due to the limitations of what they're allowed to say to you) to sway me from not taking that path. If I wanted to become a teacher or a journalist, she would recommend it... but since I didn't, she kept giving me that look that I could better spend my time.
That being said, I still have no path in life, and for the next couple of months, I tried to pretend that everything's okay by ignoring it. I went to my classes as usual and just tried to forget about how bleak my future is... but as anyone not delusional like me would know, ignoring something doesn't make it go away. I just keep smiling and hoping that perhaps everything would sort itself out, like whatever's supposed to happen will happen out of some divine intervention.
Remember, I was delusional at the time. Needless to say, nothing happened. Hence, blog.
It's the start of a new year and everyone around me seems to know where they're heading. My brother recently got married and is now living with his wife and stepson. My cousin is going to basic training next month and, if things go well, will ship out afterwards to become military police. My younger brother knows that he's going to college to become a physical therapist's assistant, and is so close to get a scholarship. He even plans to move out soon and live with his friends. All I can think about is how I haven't really made any progress in my life.
The past month or so, after the school semester ended, I became so depressed about my situation that most of my time was spent sleeping. I no longer had the energy to do much of anything.
So all I did lately was lock myself in my room and just sleep until I had to drink some water or use the bathroom. Obviously, and rightfully, my parents didn't like that, and they've became fed up with me by this point. I couldn't blame them though, and it doesn't help that I was draining their money by having them pay my tuition and books. Even now, I feel like I should just quit school to stop being such a burden because, hey, what's the point?
Lately, I've been under a lot of stress. It feels like I'm working myself through school for nothing. I don't even have a job because I thought being unemployed would allow me to continue working on my personal projects. However, I couldn't even work on my "novel" because of writer's block, and it frustrates me to sit there staring at an empty Wordpad. Even when I do write something down, I shake my head and say "that's not good enough" and delete it, repeating the cycle for hours.
I want to be a writer, yet I have so much trouble doing it. It's just starting to feel like torture after a while, yet this is still remotely even the closest thing I want to do in my life... and yet I can't seem to actually do it. It's hard enough to get the motivation to even type in the first place when you wonder if anyone will actually read it, but to then when I look at my work and just delete it all because I think I should've done it differently, it makes me so depressed, so I stopped for a couple of months.
Every full moon or something, I can sometimes get the urge to write, but they're typically fleeting. Two days ago, I managed to sit down and actually typed out part of the next chapter, and for once, I felt good about it. However, trying to replicate that feeling the next day, it ended up with me feeling even WORSE than before.
I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I still don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't even know if life is worth living anymore.
Yeah, lately, I've just been thinking suicide. It started out as just a thought, but the more I thought about it, the more it grew. Now, don't call the cops or anything, it's not like I'm trembling with a gun in my hands or anything. Hell, I don't even have access to one. But as I sit here, I keep wondering why I shouldn't one day do it: I wonder if the world actually be better off without me in it?
My family, and people really, always looked down on me throughout my whole life. They didn't like the kind of person I was, even before this depression fit. My parents were mad that I didn't have friends when I was younger, and they're especially pissed off about it now because my older brother is married and my younger brother has gotten closer with his friends. Before, my parents tolerated me, but as I said, we're wearing our patience with each other.
The others aren't as nice, though at least my younger brother is the most mild of them: he makes fun of me for being dateless and friendless, but it's just teasing. Still hurts though, but he's actually nice to me otherwise. My older brother was the worst. How could you get worse than my parents? By telling me that I should go fucking kill myself because I didn't deserve to live, and that no one would miss me. Regretably, it wasn't the first time I heard that: when I was in high school, I would hear it quite often, especially to my face because they wanted to see me cry. Thankfully, I never got beat up by bullies, but emotional abuse was still hard on me.
As an aside, my older brother mellowed out after he met his wife. He tries to be nicer to me now, but every time I look at him, I only remember what he said to me when I was in a dark place of my life. It's one thing to hear it from people who hated me, but it's another to come from blood.
After those experiences (except the one about my parents, because that was recent), it became harder for me to talk to people. Before, I could barely speak to people due to my shyness. Now? Now, I can barely make eye contact, if even. I get severely uncomfortable when people try, almost to the point that I need to run away. Funny enough though, I can look other people in the eye, but it's only when they're staring back that I'm uncomfortable.
Sometimes, I wish I could wear a mask when I go out in public to hide my face. Sometimes I wish I could just cut off my fucking face off, like I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear it off with my bare hands. Yeah, it isn't the first time I've thought about hurting myself. I still have a face though.
If I were to kill myself, would anyone in real life really care? People say all the time that the people around you do, even if you don't realize it... but I find that hard to believe, all things considering. People tell you that things will get better, and that's something I still have hope for... but doesn't look like it'll happen soon.
I said before that I was thinking of dropping out of school, and I recently told my mom that. She didn't take it well. We're a lower middle class family, and as someone who got good grades, I was always expected to make it through college, like it was the only way I could redeem myself in their eyes. So, after I told her that, my mom no longer thinks I'm worth the hassle anymore. I suspect she's going to kick me out of the house soon.
Before, I try to not overstay my welcome, but as we're losing patience with each other, I finally "snapped" under all the pressure getting to me: I curse out my mom, telling her to go fuck herself. Obviously, she didn't take it every well.
I don't know how you feel about me NOW, but I know that, maybe, some of you guys think I'm a really nice guy. And I try to be: every one of my family members, even the ones on my mother's and father's side, have all had issues with anger management, myself including, but I've always tried to be a nice, goofy guy, as though to break that curse. Unforunately, I failed, and while it doesn't happen often, it would be now that I made a big mistake.
Look, I don't have the means to survive on my own: like I said, I don't have a job, I don't have a car, and I only have a measly... what, a thousand bucks, and that's if it doesn't get stolen, to my name, so I'm screwed. If I'm going to get kicked out soon, and I sincerely believe so, since she's not being subtle about it, is there any real chance I'll actually make it? Why not just skip the middleman and end it soon?
You could say that dying to circumstance is more admirable than suicide (except, you know, I'm the reason why a lot of this is happening), but I've been seriously thinking suicide is the better option.
What if I turn my suicide into a sacrifice?
It's been years since I started thinking about suicide, and since then, I started to at least attempt eat healthier, excerise more, and all that. Why? Because I'm a registered organ donor. After I watched this one anime (which I will not name because it would be a spoiler to an emotional moment), it convinced me to sign up to be an organ donor, especially when you hear about how many people on an organ donor list die before receiving what they need.
What if everything happens for a reason. What if I was meant to watch that anime? What if it was meant to convince me to be an organ donor? What if my life became so hopeless so I would think suicide? What if, if I die, that I could save someone else? I've been in love with the idea so much that not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Once I thought of seemingly good enough plan to execute my suicide, I've become so much more calmer, as if I truly believe in it. In fact, just typing that out just makes me feel so at ease.
I don't know if I'm being delusional. I don't know whether it'd be a sin or not. I don't even know how I would actually kill myself, which the only part of the plan that I can't seem to find the answer for: I want to do it as painlessly as possible without even a chance to ruin my organs, plus it needs to be instant so medics won't try to revive me.
All I do know is that this is my backup plan. And being homeless would put the plan in jeopardy... so if my luck is being pushed, I feel like I need to cash in quick.
Again, I'm NOT committing suicide at this moment, the next, or even at all... It's just something I think about since, lately, I just seem to have cause to go through with it. Maybe my mom will cool off and I get a second chance (though I've been given too many second chances). Maybe things WILL get better and I'll look back and think about how I am thankful not to have gone through it.
Or, maybe when I do it, I'll be able to rest in peace knowing that I helped someone. I dunno. What I do know is that no big decision should be done carelessly, and if I'm not 100% sure, I shouldn't do something I can't take back.
Unless, you know, I fail at it, like others have. Wouldn't be surprising, really. I've always been a failure to everyone in my life, including myself. I tried to be unlike my family despite my conviction to do so and I still fucked up.
Like I said, I'm not ready to die soon. I've been suicidal before, a couple of years back, yet I can still describe it to this day: it was like running away from darkness while it whispers bad thoughts into your head. Your body starts racing as though you have an adrenaline rush, and you start breathing rapidly as though you just ran a marathon. Your eyes become empty, your heart becomes heavy, and your mind isn't in a good place. You hear echoes of people telling you to kill yourself, at least I did, and you're so impulsive and rash that the irrational becomes rational.
To tell you the truth, I don't even remember why I didn't go through with it in the first place. I just remember something in my mind snapped and I started laughing suddenly. I don't mean a laugh like "haha, that was hilarious"; I mean I laughed like a maniac, like someone would after hours of torture. I don't know what stopped me from killing myself...
But I don't believe I ever "recovered" from it. I never gotten to that place ever since, even when my situation got worse, but it's something that I still have within me. It's like as though someone cut the Achille's tendon of my soul: still surviving, but limping. I feel broken, in case you couldn't tell about the way I feel about myself, and I don't think I can survive in this world, but I don't think I can change either. Call it "learned helplessness" or being stubborn, childish even... either way, I just can't seem to get myself straight out.
Even now, I just look at everything and say "what's the point?" My future, if not the very present, feels so unstable. I could count the amount of people I trust in real life with both hands cut off. I feel like a failure in everything I do. There doesn't seem to be any hope for me outside a miracle, and even then, I can't even imagine how my life would even begin to turn around.
I can understand what some people feel like when they're suicidal: they feel like all hope is gone, like there's nothing they can do to help themselves, so the only reasonable answer is just to die.
I don't even know why I'm telling you guys all this. You guys are the only people I told these thoughts to. Maybe it's because I trust you guys more than anyone else?
Listen, you guys, I really do love my time here. Honestly, chatting with you guys, reading your blogs, and even just wandering into the comment section makes me happy to be a part of the community. Whenever you guys give me a shoutout, it's such a nice feeling because it makes me feel like I fit in, which is something I have trouble with in real life.
So it's not you guys' fault why I'm like this, and I sincerely hope I'm not ruining anyone's day with my bitching and moaning; I know a lot of you have actual problems like paying bills and raising kids whereas I'm just stuck in this rut. I also hope I haven't lost anyone's respect for me: I'm just a kid compared to many of you, and I must be sounding mighty childish right now... but still, in some ways, you guys are pretty much all I have left.
Whatever the case, whatever happens happens. I made too many mistakes in my life and I don't think my streak's running out.
8:16 PM on 01.22.2015
Hello, there, I'm Dreamweaver! I think a little context is necessary for what I'm about to ask so...
While I joined Destructoid around 2009, I was never too involved with the community: I was a front page lurker, who would seldom comment on those articles anyway. It kinda makes me question why I had an account if I wasn't going to use it at all. However, rather recently, like last year, I started getting more active, even becoming a recapper in the process, and I gotta say, after my time here, that the Destructoid community is possibly the one of the best, if not the best community on the internet.
And part of that is because we're such a unique bunch.
Seriously, where else would you see a resplendid black grandma, a Canadian scholar, Robocop, a cult with an unhealthy obsession with Gardeoir, an ex-wrestler who leads religious youth groups, a Reinhold Hoffman, and a pervert who's so into porn that he critiques the story, all mingling together on one site?
OTHER than a site for Rule 34.
That's what I thought.
However, as good as the community is, people who have been active here much, much, MUCH longer than I have said that the community was actually really swell back. While my memory is foggy, I do remember that one of the reasons I loved going to Destructoid for the articles is to scroll down to the comments section: while it's cool to see staff members just chatting with people like us, the best parts are always seeing what zany reactions Dtoiders had for the news, as evident by all the gifs and snarky remarks we could come up with.
Of course, we can't keep up with every single comment, and that means that we can often miss a lot of funny jokes. I mean, how often do you check back on articles anyway? Not often, right? Plenty of times I leave an article, only to find out some funny things went down without my knowledge! Thus, this is my proposal to all you Dtoiders: let's revive a piece of Destructoid called "Comments of the Week!"
"Comments of the Week" is a simple premise. Over the week, someone would collect comments and place them into three categories: Truth, for those applaud worthy comments; LOL for the ones that makes you look like an idiot for guffawing in public; and WTF for the random remarks that makes you feel like your brain just suddenly switched off because you don't wanna absorb that.
Afterwards, they get to comment on the comments, then you get to comment on their comment of a comment in the comments section, and if that comment gets commented by another commentator...
My head hurts. What was I doing? *looks at internet tab* Oh, right. Reading porn.
Dammit, this is what I get for multi-tasking.
Anyway, sounds like a fun thing? Well, here's some bad news: unforunately, such an undertaking would be clearly heavy. After all, you not only got the front page articles constantly being seen and viewed by different people in different countries at different times, but more and more articles could be pumping in while you're reading.
However, the same could be said for the cblogs, but then again, not only is the workload easier, but that also has a team of 7 Recappers to round up all the blogs, one Recapper with his or her own dedicated days.
So that got me I thinking... why not attempt to do the same with the comments? For "Comments of the Week", we could have one person shift through all the articles released on that day for the funniest comments, then after the week is over, have one person make a blog using all the content the other members collected. If that sounds too much of a hassle, we could simply do "Comments of the Day", like we do with the Recaps.
Regardless, it'll still a lot of work... but if you're interested in seeing such a thing happen, then why not help make it happen yourself? Like how the Recap team is made up of unpaid volunteers who do it for the love of recapping your blogs (and talking about our lives), would any of you guys like to be a part of a new community group?
I'm not gonna lie to you, it could be a pretty big undertaking: not only would you be reading comments, but you might need to do a little "print-screen" cropping as well, as it would be a lazy effort to simply link to an article and say "scroll down". We'll figure it out later.
My fellow Recappers have been entertaining the idea to bring back somethings that has been missing as well: StriderHoang has been attempting to bring back Fapcast (a podtoid of the recap team, including the very eager PhilKenSabben) and Pixielated wants to do a monthly recap of all the blogs to post on the front page so we can spread the words and crazy porn blogs (mostly mine) of the community to the masses, perhaps gaining some new members in the process... so maybe the timing for this awesome idea is perfect.
I'm not entirely sure how this is going to work, or if I'll even be involved at all, but I'm writing this blog to gauge some thoughts and volunteers because I think many people would be delighted in reading something like this, and we're gonna need folks on board with helping.
So... you interested?
9:50 AM on 01.19.2015
While everyone seems to be watching select shows on Cartoon Network like Adventure Time and Regular Show, The Amazing World of Gumball is the reason why I keep flipping to that channel: while it doesn't have the charm of the former nor the "slacker cool" vibe of the latter, The Amazing World of Gumball just has so much energy that rarely do I ever feel bored watching it. I mean, and this is just the opinion of someone who also enjoys the ocassional My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic but...: the characters are all excellently voiced, the writing is among one of the wittiest I've seen, the timing on the jokes are so on point that you could tell it was written by comedians, and has a unique mix of art styles from traditional animation to CGI and photorealism that I never seem to get tired watching some reruns on a lazy afternoon.
But just as how no cartoons are safe from the law of the internet known as "Rule 34", The Amazing World of Gumball also has its fair share of porn, and I didn't find that out because I "accidentally" stumbled onto it. No, I actually go out looking for it! When you think of cartoon porn, most people will rightfully assume one of a few things: it will be badly drawn, will be more funny (or disturbing) than arousing... and that some will still get off to it anyway. Now, I like to think I'm no different than the rest of you, so just like how some people who have an attraction to videogame or anime characters go out looking for smut, I don't discriminate: if I find a character attractive, then I want to see said character in sexual situations!
The fan art is pretty damn good though! Image is credited to deviantArt's Mike Inel! Click his name for more!
While there are a handful of pretty badly drawn images out there, I did have the pleasure of somewhat stumbling into a couple of things that I really enjoyed, and thought I'd share with you guys! Just like with my videogame doujinshi and original hentai manga blogs, I'm not just gonna dump a gallery's worth of pictures on you; I'm going to talk about a couple of pieces that are not only pretty decently drawn, but are also true to the source material!
Well, that's not entirely true: as with any type of porn, parody or not, there's always a few liberties taken when creating adult entertainment, like a character's bust line or how slutty they are. With these examples, the character have gone from their portrayal of anthropomorphized animals into a human-ized recreations, which is probably for the better. I mean, I have no problems with furries myself, but I think turning them into humans makes people much more accepting of it, and to be honest, I kinda like see artist intrepretations of these characters, like how Luna Sy likes seeing human version of Pokemon.
Alright, that's enough introductions! Now, don't worry if you haven't seen the show: I'll assume everyone reading is unfamiliar, and will provide adequate background information on the characters as we go along.
But check out the show sometimes!
[DISCLAIMER: As always, links are NOT SAFE FOR WORK, and may contain pop-ups and other negative things that may harm your computer. Please enter at your own risk as, like my many children, I claim no responsibility for!]
["Penny Possessed" by Inuyuru]
I can't help but read the dialogue in the character's voice. Anyone else do the same?
Starting with an original piece as possible, Penny Possessed is a short work from an artist who does porn comics of other cartoons like The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Pokemon, and the aforementioned Adventure Time/ My Little Pony: Friendship of Magic! This piece stars the title character Gumball Watterson and two of the side characters, Penny and Carrie. Penny, the girl in the brown jacket, is Gumball's love interest over the course of the series, while Carrie is this emo-styled ghost with the power to possess others. Since Gumball and Penny are officially dating as of Season 3's episode "The Shell", when Gumball confessed his feelings towards her, the events of this comic appears to take place earlier in the series since it starts with Gumball is still shy about how he feels about her... as evident by the way he's embarrassed about accidentally letting that tidbit slip like in the TV show.
Actually, the comic starts with Carrie making a comment about how "there's gotta be some way", giving a hint that she wants something... and no sooner does she possess Penny does she reveal that she gots the hots for Gumball! Again, there's a couple of liberties taken here: Carrie doesn't seem to have any romantic interests, at least to my knowledge, and whenever she possesses people, they look like this creepy looking ghoul... but that might just be because having to stare at that would kill most people's boners (...but not everyone's). Either way, after "Penny" starts hitting on Gumball, he is quick to realize what's going on.
Nice comeback. Get it? Come... You get it.
Carrie, admitting that she likes Gumball, wants to get down and dirty quick. Even though Gumball likes Penny, he still hesitates: he doesn't want this to happen like this... but it could also be that they're only 12 years, but it might just be another liberty changed from the show. Either way, Carrie tells him that if neither of them will make the first move, then Carrie will use Penny's body to get what she wants! In the episode "The Ghost", Carrie reveals that she can't taste and eat food unless she's possessing someone like Gumball (of course, TV shows are rarely so consistent), so it makes sense that she can't feel herself having sex either, despite the porn-like dialogue of how she can feel it "even in her ghost form".
Since the gallery is only about 10 pages long, with only 8 about the story itself, the sex scenes are really simple and quick, not bloated like the 7 page blowjobs seen in "Fela Pure". There's not much to say about the sex, since it's pretty standard stuff, but when Gumball announces that he's about to cum, Carrie says that it's okay to do it inside since her ghost form will absorb it. I have no idea how the hell that's supposed to work, but it doesn't matter since Gumball doesn't question it and does that anyway. After she climaxes herself, Carrie immediately vacates Penny's body, who "wakes up" and surprised to see what a predicament she's in!
Carrie looking a little chubby despite not being able to eat...
The two pages at the end are just a better look at the artist's idea of a human Penny and Carrie. Penny, in the show, was seen as this walnut-looking character with antlers, and the artist decides to change that to a jacket with the antlers as attachments on the hood, like a Fluttershy hoodie... not that I own one or anything. Carrie is mostly the same from the neck up, though she's thicker than what my version of her would be... but I'm not complaining!
["The Bully" by Inuyuku]
Wait, is that an insult!?
Of course, liberties are definitely taken with another one of this artist's work because this next comic stars Tina Rex who, in the show, is a giant dinosaur (a T-Rex, to be specific)! While I'm not saying denying that there's no dinosaur porn on the internet, because it is the internet after all, in this next piece, Tina is portrayed in this piece as a lizard looking lady. This comic, rather than being an original story like in the previous one, is actually based off the episode in Season 3 called "The Fight"! As the title of the comic suggests, Tina isn't exactly seen as the friendliest character on the show: being the big ass dinaosaur that she is, she is seen as the butch girl of the group because she isn't girly, is easily angered, and quick to resort to violence, as seen on several accounts. In fact, in one of my favorite episodes, "The Quest", she was the main antagonist, as she chased the characters through a junkyard trying to steal back the doll she stole!
In the other aforementioned episode "The Fight", Gumball shows up at home with signs of being picked on, so he tells his family what his day in school was like: after he reveals that Tina took his money, tore his homework and resulting him getting an F, and shoving his face into his lunch, they believe he's being bullied. Gumball, however, being the "innocent" guy that he is (I say that in quotes because in most episodes it's his adopted brother Darwin who is usually the wide-eyed one), says that Tina is just having fun with him... but now that his family has pointed it out, he now can't stop thinking about it! Although his sister Anais tries to settle it peacefully by calling Tina up, she accidentally arranges a fight between Tina and Gumball.
Because of course she does, it's a cartoon: everything always goes wrong.
A little lazy, in my opinion, but a decent attempt to add some perspective shots.
Throughout the actual episode (so we're not at the actual comic yet), Gumball tries to find advice on how to handle this, but eventually he gets to the showdown with Tina... only to run away at the advice of his father. After getting a shiner by accidentally running into a door, he couldn't hide the truth from his mother, Nicole Watterson, who immediately gets enraged at the sight of it: previously, the only one who knew about this was Richard (his father), Anais, and Darwin, since Nicole was at work. Despite Gumball telling her the truth that it really was an accident, despite the fact that it was only because he was being chased by Tina, Nicole drives Gumball to Tina's house to not only order the two to make up, but to have a talk with Tina's father. Since Tina's father is an even bigger T-Rex, and Gumball's mom is "only" a cat, he dismisses her... but like a mother willing to protect her son, Nicole locks the door and has a "talk" with the dinosaur a dozen times her size.
This is where the actual porn starts: starting off with a slightly abridged version of the transcript of the episode (for the most part, it's pretty word for word), they both find common ground by realizing that the other's parent is scary as fuck. However, curious as the cat that he is, Gumball then has to ask if Tina was really bullying him this whole time. As he suspects the first time, Tina tells him that she wasn't, that she thought they were just having fun together. Sullen because she realizes that everyone sees her as a brute like her father, Gumball tells her that he doesn't think that at all, much to her surprise. This is where the deviation in the story starts: in the TV show, they hug and make up, and Nicole walks away from the fight victorious.
Art's a little funny looking as well, but pretty decent enough to get the point across.
In this version, Tina takes it one step further: she asks, since Gumball doesn't see her as a brute, if he sees her as cute. Saying that she is, Tina blushes hard at the compliment, and after pulling Gumball towards her chest, she then opts to give him a blowjob before finally culminating with sex. Again, like the last comic, the sex is really short, and there's not much else to say about it other than how odd it is to hear that "dinosaurs are actually sensual". In a brief reference to Nicole's "fight" with Tina's dad, I'm not entirely sure what's going on there: it doesn't use the same lines of dialogue as the TV show like the beginning conversation between Gumball and Tina did, and I think the artist is trying to imply that, like mother like son, Nicole is getting some. In another deviation, it ends on a different tone: in the TV show, Tina still "picks" on Gumball by shoving his face into his lunch, but he's much more accepting of it since he knows the truth behind it, whereas in the comic, you see Tina looking annoyed, maybe jealous, that Gumball is hanging out with Penny.
This is one of the reasons why I liked this comic and wanted to talk about it: while it's virtually unable to standalone since it assumes that you have seen the show, it serves as a great companion piece to the episode because you already have the background information, and it only deviates near the end, as evident by the way the comic starts by using almost the exact same dialogue exchange. You may say that maybe I'm having a bit too much of a nerdgasm and giving the artist too much credit, but I appreciate these little nods to the source material!
["The Fridge" by Manyakisart (45 seconds)]
Cats lap milk out of a bowl, so I imagine they're good at getting "milk" as well. *winkwink*
Unlike these other two entries in this blog, this last piece I wanna talk about is NOT a comic or anything like that... but rather, it's a short hentai (yep, they're getting fancy with it) video clip! However, though most of the 45 seconds is just sex stuff, not only is it still true to the TV show by being based on another episode, but it also features one of the hottest versions of my favorite character of the show, Nicole Watterson! As I said a couple of times before, Nicole Watterson is Gumball's mom, and I really like her as a character. It's no coincidence why some of my favorite episodes like "The DVD", "The Remote", "The Limit", and "The Mothers" heavily feature her: she is arguably the most enjoyable character to watch other than the title character Gumball or his best friend Darwin, especially since when she's calm, she has a really nice, maternal sounding voice... but she also has a temper that fun to watch her explode, to boot!
This short hentai clip (I believe this is the entire thing, unless someone knows something I don't!) is based on another one of my favorite episodes, "The Fridge"! Throughout the series, Nicole is seen as this really competitive, over-the-top person, and in this episode, she takes it up a notch! With a chart on the fridge, she motivates her family to "reach for the stars" by ranking what they perceive to be their top achievement for the week. While she places herself on the top for winning the company paintball tournament, even though Anais discovered a new bacteria strain, she is disappointed when it's Gumball's turn to say what he did for the week and comes up with nothing. Wanting Gumball to value winning-over-everything, Nicole decides to do something about it!
And you know what that means!
Oh, you know what that means!
...Funny enough, the sex stuff doesn't start yet... but did I fool you? :P
Okay, moving on with the episode, Nicole starts out with simple tasks like going shopping and snagging cheaper goods from other shoppers... but then it quickly escalades when she leaves Gumball stranded at a DESERT with no supplies and tells him to walk home! Gumball does eventually make it home around night time, but he comes home to a mess! He sees the place is trashed with the lights off, with the only source coming from a TV emitting static, which his father is sitting in front of. Gumball asks what happens, and Richard tells him that he trashed the house for being placed so low on the chart (I should mention that his character is actually extremely goofy and lighthearted, and that his "achievement" was trying to make a crayon out of cheese... so you don't get the wrong impression that he's some violence jerk) and that Darwin and Anais are depressed for not being moved up higher up. After hearing that his mom has actually moved him up the list above everyone else BUT Nicole (competitive, remember?), Gumball is slightly happy... but slightly isn't good enough, as Nicole is still not satisfied since Gumball still doesn't have the drive for victory at any cost.
Now, the episode goes on to have Gumball decide to challenge Nicole: if he beats her at paintball, she must tear down the chart, as Gumball could see what the obsession is driving his family into, like how a nice guy like Richard snapped. However, I mostly got this far for the set-up and context of the porn clip because it takes place between the time Nicole leaves Gumball in the desert and until he gets back, as evident by the setting of the dark house and the TV with static. Wanting to drive her family to move up the chart, the video is of Nicole Watterson giving someone a titty-blowjob combo, finishing it off with a cum shot into her mouth. When she finishes, she tells the character "maybe that'll push you to reach for the top", and as the camera cuts to the chart on the fridge, she concludes with the line "the fridge is waiting". Though, understandably, the creator had to use a different voice actor, the biggest disappointment is who the character receiving the "motivation" is.
Kenny? Kenny (from South Park), is that you!?
Rather than have it be her son Gumball, since that's who she's been trying to motivate this whole entire episode, this clip features her pleasuring who appears to be Darwin. Darwin, seen in the show as a goldfish with legs wearing green sneakers, but as a human character wearing an orange hoodie in this porn video, is the Watterson's adopted... something. Legally, as mentioned in the episode "The Genius", Darwin is only their "pet", but since he's such a integral part of the family, especially Gumball, he might as well be his brother. Regardless, I can't tell you how huge of a disappointment that revelation is; I mean, it's not like the greatest porn video I've seen, but it's probably going to be the only one of The Amazing World of Gumball at this decent a quality... but because it's Darwin instead of Gumball, I am actually heartbroken over this.
No, really, I'm serious. Imagine the last videogame you were actually hyped about but were disappointed when you got to play it (so mostly anything released in 2014, HEY-O!). Now, take that feeling and multiply it by like a thousand, since you know how it is with me and porn. Actually, a better example would be Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty: the game is good, and Raiden isn't bad, but you can't help but wish you were playing as Solid Snake. I mean, technically, it could make sense in the context of the actual episode since, if Gumball is out in the desert, he obviously can't have sex with his mom... but it also doesn't make sense since Darwin was already motivated to climb the ranks, thus making the "motivation" unnecessary. In my mind, this sex scene could easily take place after Gumball gets home as an alternate ending to the "paintball proposal": since Gumball still doesn't acquire the drive to "reach for the stars" even after beating everyone else, Nicole could've done this as the "final ensurance" to mold Gumball into the person she wants him to be... Because who the hell wouldn't want to have more sex!?
Women always be aroused by household appliance...
Anyway, ranting aside, I can't believe I typed up over 3000 words on The Amazing World of Gumball porn, but that's how I am with porn of series that I really like, and I really like these pieces because not only could they all kinda be canon, but the second and third entry provide enough context to place it exactly within the episode!
As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy these as much as I do, and we'll get back to actual hentai next time around!
1:23 PM on 01.11.2015
"Now I face out, I hold out,
I reach out to the truth of my life,
Seeking to seize out the whole moment, yeah!"
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4 has great music... but that's not what the game is best known for, at least in my opinion. No, Persona 3 and Persona 4 are mostly known for a couple of things, like its difficult gameplay, the school simulator, and its unique style and presentation. However, if there's one thing that stands out to me when it comes to these games, it has to be the characters themselves. From Chie's love of karate and meats to Yukiko's horrible attempts of making a dish that could actually be edible, there are a ton of likable people in the small town of Inaba, and they are the friendliest people since South Park, Colorado! Speaking strictly for Persona 4 for this blog because my favorite crew of Persona 3 deserves their own entry, I want to showcase a couple of doujinshi that has exemplifies how well these characters like each other by showing you how intimate they get with one another.
Yes, that means hentai, ya horny fuckers. :P
[DISCLAIMER: Like any adult website, proceed to the link provided at your own risk! Also, although there will be story spoilers for Persona 4, one of them is a character spoilers that pretty much everyone knows by now. However, in case you haven't heard it and desire to play the game, proceed with caution! The other, more significant spoiler, will happen at the very bottom, and will have another tag. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]
Sorry, there's no real way to imitate a deep voice in text.
This particular doujinshi was recommended by fellow Dtoider EdgyDude!
The story starts out innocently enough: Rise catches up with Naoto as she's leaving school, and thus invites her to go to shopping at Junes. We also, for some reason, see a short conversation about a couple of guys spying on the girls, debating which of them is hotter, with one overly enthusiastic guy talking about how Naoto's appeal comes from her tomboy appearance. This is the only time they appear in the story, and they seem to serve no other reason than to explain that Naoto is a girl, which, as an adult manga, we're gonna find out anyway. Now, that is the spoiler that I mentioned earlier that I'm sure everyone is well aware of by now: Naoto is a girl. Shocking, right? However, the reason I gave the spoiler warning is because, if you haven't played the game before, they tried to deceive you by showing off Naoto as a boy, made even more evident by the fact that she wears pants instead of the skirts the other females wear. So, if you never knew, and you're playing the game for the first time, you might not have known until the actual reveal.
Unless your female radar is just that good.
Senpai's a lucky guy...
Anyway, back to the story: Naoto, curious about what Rise plans to buy, learns that she wants to get a really cute looking bra for Yu. Immediately afterwards, Rise has the idea that she should get one for Naoto as well: she remembers back to their time at the hot springs together that she has a very boring, very practical one, and that just won't do! However, as reserved as always, Naoto is flustered by the idea, thinking that getting a bra would be useless because she doesn't plan on letting anyone see it anyway. Not one to take "no" for an answer, Rise not only find a nice pair for Naoto to wear, she even drags her to the changing room to have her try it on. As Teddie (of course) stares at them, he could see Rise getting a little too handsy, telling Naoto that she needs to feel her up in order to get an accurate measurement for her bust. When she starts getting a little down south than Naoto would prefer, you start wondering if a little yuri (lesbians) will be happening...
NOPE! In what could only be determined as a tease, the story shifts to the boys, specifically Kanji, whose nose is just gushing with blood. Apparently, Teddie's been telling a story to the others, much to Kanji's embarassment. Flustered, he tries to avoid the topic, only to get roped into another: Yu Narukami (I believe the official name for the Persona 4 protagonist is), being Kanji's elder, then starts talking to him about condoms and how he should not only start carrying some, but also learn how to put them on. After bagging on Yosuke for a bit, we watch the boys have a quick laugh before learning that, at the very least, part of Teddie's story is true: we see Naoto walk home with a bag from Junes, as well as a reminder from Rise to wear it tommorow at school.
Not the best Scorpion impression. Also: under my umbrella-ella-ella...
The next day after class, we see Kanji staring out the window, obviously waiting for someone. However, Naoto surprises Kanji by appearing right before him, asking if he knows where Rise is. Kanji says she's out sick with a cold, much to Naoto's disappointment, then asks if she needed her for anything... but Naoto drops the subject, much to Kanji's disappointment, every bit as awkward as any other high school drama. Naoto then decides to walk home alone, only to find out that she forgot to pack an umbrella (which is weird, considering how vital knowing what the weather will be is in games). Not wanting to get wet, she starts running home with her book bag over head to use as a shield, because fuck whatever's in there, only to see that Kanji not only caught up to her, but that he also has an umbrella that they could share.
They both walk home under the umbrella for a bit, but soon they must part ways. However, since it is still raining, Kanji, in his own unique style, tells Naoto that she can stay at his place because he doesn't want her to walk home in this weather and get sick. She agrees to this idea and heads on over, finding out that Kanji's dad isn't home. She starts undressing, taking off her signature black jacket... but since she has on white clothes underneath, and we all know what happens when white clothes gets wet, we could see the frilly little bra underneath. We aren't the only ones though, as Kanji manages to sneak a peek before Naoto could cover herself, embarassed because she doesn't think it suits someone like her. Kanji tries to convince her that it does, but he ends up tripping over something and knocking her into his bed... because of course he does.
I'm sure this is gotta be the start of another hentai...
From there, things get a little steamier: being so close to each other, they both feel some sexual tension, and Kanji can better admire Naoto's body. Still insecure about the bra, Naoto still doesn't believe it looks good on her, but Kanji keeps telling her that it does. Funny enough, Naoto still doesn't believe so, and takes it off to give to Kanji because he likes it so much! However, Kanji turns it around by dropping a smooth line on her about how it looks good because Naoto is the one wearing it... before dropping a smooth line of his own (if you know what I mean...)!
Realistically enough, the first time isn't so wonderful: after Kanji covers himself with a condom, he pretty much finishes as soon as he starts, and he even decides to call it quits by redressing Naoto's shirt. However, Naoto decides she wants to keep going, and soon the two share some sweet, sentimental sex with one another, trying out all kinds of different positions. Different from all the other hentai mangas, instead of finishing it off with one big cum explosion, it just... ends, albeit with a kiss. Kinda like softcore porn.
Come on, sound it out, big boy.
Afterwards, Kanji walks Naoto home at night. Kanji apologizes for taking advantage of her, but Naoto puts him at ease by telling him that she wanted it as well. However, she wonders if they went too far with each other, as she isn't the type of person who could express herself properly. Kanji, though, reveals that that's fine, because that was the kind of person Kanji fell in love with. After he confess his feelings, he also confessed that he ran out of rubbers during their sex session, ending the sappy school sweethearts with a little bit of humor.
Overall, this was a pretty great doujinshi! While it doesn't satisfy the base urge we had that drives us to read or watch porn (where's the crazy cum drizzling or the pussy pounding!?), it's stuff that this that makes me want to read hentai mangas for hopefully a well written plot. It feels like something that could happen in real life, and it definitely feels like it would work in the context of the videogame. It stays pretty true to the characters, which as I said, is one of the main reasons people love the series.
Say it, don't spray it!
Now, here's a doujinshi that I myself recommend! While you could probably assume that Yu Narukami went for Rise in the one EdgyDude suggested, this one has him gunning for Naoto, arguably best waifu of Persona 4! After school one day, Naoto asks to meet with Rise to reveal that she and Yu are dating, much to Rise's disappointment! Rise jokes about how she wanted Yu for herself, but after seeing how cute and flustered Naoto is at the thought of her stealing him away, Rise calms her down. Better yet, Rise decides to help Naoto when she asks her for her fashion sense: since Naoto is always wearing the black jacket get-up, even on dates, she wonders if Yu is okay with it. Of course, being the charming fellow that he is, he says that it's fine... only to remark that it would be interesting to see her dressed up like a girl for once!
So, after teasing Naoto that she doesn't know how to be feminine, and that maybe she could wear something sexy that shows off her body, she takes her shopping, just like in the previous doujinshi. However, rather than just a frilly bra, we get treated to seeing Naoto in a girly outfit, complete with a blouse, jacket, and skirt! It's so cute to see her in that get-up, though she had a couple of other cute, chibi-like moments sprinkled through the comic.
I like to think Kanji actually heard that and said "Hey!" out loud.
As Rise and Naoto are walking home, Rise assures Naoto that the date will be fine. However, in a wistful tone, Rise wonders if there's anyone out there for her, even asking Naoto if she could introduce her to someone! Naoto, on the other hand, claims that she doesn't... but suggests that Rise should be going for Kanji since they seem to have that kind of chemistry together! Naturally, Rise is flustered and denies any sort of connection, even almost going as far as to reveal the true person of Kanji's affection... only to stop before actually saying who it is. Getting a bit gloomy because both Kanji and Yu want Naoto, in addition to Naoto winning that beauty paegant, Rise teases Naoto by pulling her cheeks in an endearing fashion.
I kinda like how these two doujinshi compliments each other when it comes to relationships, and how interesting the coincidence is: EdgyDude's recommendation shows what it would be like should Yu date Rise and Kanji date Naoto, whilst mine shows what happens should Yu date Naoto. It's kind of like an alternate universe from one another because of the whole love triangle thing they got going on, like a "what if" scenario. It's also technically unnecessary since it's never brought up again (though this might've been a series) but still appreciated nonetheless!
*Cue sitcom "ooh!"*
Alright, onto the date! While Naoto doesn't wear the outfit she wore back at the store (which is a lot more cuter in my opinion), she does have a schoolgirl outfit's on. Anyway, this scene takes place at Yu's house, and it starts with how Naoto feels nervous being in his room. She then starts wondering how empty it's going to feel since, if you played the game, you know that Yu is only staying in Inaba for the rest of the school year. However, Yu assures her that he will be back to see his friends (which he does in the canonical fighting-game sequel Arena and Ultimax), but especially her, giving her a pat on the head and a tussle of her hair before a kiss. Revealing that his uncle and Nanako won't be back for a while, they decide that this is the perfect moment to share a tender loving moment with one another. The sex scene is rather short and sweet, even less than half the book if not a quarter, though it does end with the "cum explosion" I mentioned earlier... though more like a cherry bomb than a nuke.
Then, as Yu walks Naoto home (man, such fine gentlemen, these two boys are!), he sees that Naoto is walking funny due to their time together. Joking that Yu is more ferocious than a Shadow when he's aroused, Yu only smiles a chagrin smile... only to state that the next time they do it, it'll be at her place!
Overally, I like this doujinshi because, once again, it does feel like such a natural part of the story that it could easily be canon: they even establish some past events so you can figure out when it's supposed to happen. I also really like the art style of this book: it feels a little like Sailor Moon only not as overdone, and the cute moments feels distinctively Japanese.
[The Velvet Prostitutes]
She wanna l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lick me like a lollipop... Dammit, it's stuck in my head!
As an extra, because these are really too short to talk about in length, I got two more doujinshi that I don't recommend, but thought I should talk about anyway. First of all, let's start with The Velvet Prostitutes, which is essentially some horny guy wanting to have sex with Marie. Now, I never played Persona 4: Golden, and even though she appears in Persona Q, there isn't many scenes with her, so I have no idea who she is and what she's like. However, this story depicts her as this seemingly unwilling prostitute: unlike other hentai mangas, not only does she NOT like the sex, even eventually, she seriously just wants to get it over with. Honestly, this story is just a collection of various sex scenes, but I found it interesting because of her attitude; plus, The Velvet Room sounds like it could be a brothel... and also a fancy French restaurant.
Eventually, the guy hires Elizabeth to join them, and as you might expect, she's more into it than Marie due to her curiosity and personality. She even offers the man a "Muscle Drink" (woot, bringing in items!) to increase his stamina and prolong the session, much to Marie's reluctance. Like I said, there isn't much to say in terms of story, and it ends abrupty, but in case you like Marie or have weirdly specific fetishes like armpit sex, thigh sex, ejaculating in a sock or hat and making her wear it, then this is for you. Ya horny fuckers.
[DISCLAIMER: This brief section COULD contain MASSIVE spoilers for Persona 4. To avoid wandering eyes, I will try to be as elusive as possible in case you want to read it anyway, but the link WILL spoil it.]
[Vanishing into the Night]
Come on, do the bad guys EVER keep their promises?
This story, if you wanna call it that because of how light it is, starts hardcore and escalades from there: Chie wakes up and sees the serial killer of Persona 4. However, the villain not only taunts Chie for falling asleep while in the Shadow Realm, but he has already captured her female friends and has been using them as their sex toys. He then tells Chie that her boyfriend, Yu, has been defeated by Shadows and is being beaten to death... unless Chie gives in. Honestly, this doujinshi is just sexy fluff: if you have a fetish for mindbreaking, ahegao-inducing tentacle rape impregnation with the female party members, then this is for you. Why did I want to talk about it then? Because I like the cliffhanger ending.
Glum because his friends have disappeared, Yu is feeling depressed. However, one night during the Midnight Channel, Yu sees through the television not only the serial killer's face, but also what happened to his friends. The serial killer than offer something of a conundrum: like in the videogame, he's going to change the world by spreading the effects of the fog throughout the planet... but to stop him, the killer will be waiting at a location SEPARATE from Yu's friends, so he has to make a choice: will he save his friends, or save the world?
Which one would you pick? As if I didn't know the answer. Ya horny fuckers.
[END POTENTIAL SPOILERS]
So, did you enjoy this blog? Hopefully you guys found it rather amusing! If there's any suggestions, definitely let me know! As always, you can check out older Videogame Doujinshi blogs with the links to your right! I don't know how often I'll do a hentai blog, videogame or original, but I'll try to do it... maybe once a week? We'll have to see! Anyway, you got a couple of ones you'd like to talk about? Don't be afraid to blog them yourself! Got a series you'd be interested in seeing porn of? Let me know below! I'll try to fit it in!
Yeah, sexual innuendo intended.
...Ya horny fuckers.
1:25 PM on 01.08.2015
"Popo, wake up."
"Huh?" I snap my eyes open upon having my body softly shaken, my heart beating so hard that it threatens to burst out of my chest. "Are we- are we under attack? Did they find out where we are?" I frantically question my sister Nana as she tries to calm me down. Once I realize that we're in no immediate danger, she responds with a shake of her head.
"No, we're still hidden away... for now, at least," she answers with a depressing tone not because she's not grateful, but because she understands that that could change at any given moment. As we huddle close together in a dark room, we could hear the rummaging of the vicious group of enemies we're hiding from. I could tell Nana is afraid she spoke too soon, if at all.
"..." our rapidly thumping hearts are the only thing in the room making a sound, but as we saw our friends get taken away earlier, its impossible to keep it still. With the sounds getting closer and closer, we hold each other tightly, and our breaths become still when the sounds stop. Eventually, the sounds resume before fading away, allowing us to assume that they passed us.
"Whew, that was close," I sigh in relief as soon as I am sure that we aren't going to get discovered quite yet. However, it does little to ease my sister's worries, as made evident by the way she only fakes a smile before frowning. Truth be told, I have trouble convincing myself: I don't have a mirror, but I could tell I might not have fooled myself either.
How did it come to this? I think it over and over to myself as we sit in darkness.
"Look, sis! It's beautiful!" I excitedly exclaim as I motivate my sister up the mountain, being the first to make it to the summit. Leaning back to offer her a hand, I lift her up so she could see the view as well. With widened eyes and an open mouth, I could tell Nana appreciates that the destination was worth the journey up here.
"It is..." she finally says after a while, though the look on her face makes that thought quite clear. As we gaze up what seems to be an endless horizon, we decide to take a break with one another, perhaps a little tired from climbing so much. I'm smaller than my sister, since she is the oldest, so she let me lean on her arm to support my body.
It's a bit embarrassing to be so close to my sister, but at her insistence, I suppose it couldn't hurt to make her happy. As I rest my head on her, I could feel my eyes getting a bit heavy: did the trek take more out of me than I realize, or is this position just so comfortable? Closing my lids, I could definitely nod off, but then something happens that could be considered an eye-opener.
Off to the distance, we could see that, apparently, we aren't the only ones up here. Further away, my sister and I watch as two figures, one a bi-pedal creature and the other a tiny man in a mask, stare at the sky as a giant spaceship appearing to crash into them. However, while it's instinctive to run the other way, these two brave heroes decides to jump onboard as though to steer it away.
But it's impossible for them to redirect it in time, and once it hits the other mountain does it redirect towards us! With a fright, I immediately jump up and run the other way, my sister right behind me. Unforunately, no matter how fast we are, there's no way we could outrun a ship at ramming speed, and the impact blows us off the mountain.
"Ugh..." I groan as I land on my back, which is aching so much that it cramps whenever I try to move it. "Nana, are you okay?" I call out of her as I lift up to my knee, struggling to get myself upright. "Nana? Are you there?" I start to get a little worried, hoping that she responds soon before my over-active imagination starts giving me possible outcomes I really don't want to know.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," I could hear my sister a little bit away. She doesn't seem like she's completely unharmed as she rubs her chest. It's clear which side of herself she landed on, and I'm sure those things don't exactly double as airbags.
Thankfully, we both land close to one another, and we don't seem to be suffering from anything severe, judging by the way we are both able to pick ourselves up. However, as soon as we hear approaching footsteps do my sister quickly become protective. Not knowing who's coming close as the smoke from the debris dampers visibility, Nana picks up her wooden mallet and readies it.
"Stay back," it isn't clear if she's talking to me or the people arriving onto the scene, but what is clear is that she will protect me if necessary. I just hope it isn't.
"Hey, are you guys alright?" we could hear someone ask us. Neither of us responds, instead opting to stay silent, but apparently this person isn't alone as we could hear the footsteps of others. "That was quite a scene, isn't it?" a man wearing a red shirt and matching red hat comes out with his arms up, and no sooner could we see him do we recognize who he is.
"Oh my gosh, it's Red!" Nana lowers her guard upon seeing the legendary Pokemon Trainer, who tips his hat forward with a nod. "Oh, and there's Marth, Ike, and Lucas as well!" Nana calls out as the rest of Red's group arrives on scene in the order she lists them in. "Are you guys in the Super Smash Brothers tournament too?" she couldn't help but wonder if they're competiting.
"I'm afraid things are a little more serious than that," Red continues to speak for the group, especially since Marth doesn't appear to be able to speak a lick of English. However, each of them agree that there's something much more dangerous going on. "Look out!" he points up into the air, figuring that it's much easier to see what's happening than to explain it.
From the side of the mountain, we could see these weird, purple, bug-like creatures creeping at us before deciding to leap out of their hiding spot. They quickly surround us, leaving a sense of dread as they attempt to corner us. Scary enough, some of the bugs get together to form some kind of foe, as though they need to be something big to threaten us.
"Marth, Ike, cover their approach!" Red gives out the order, apparently really accustomed to doing so. With a nod of their heads, the duo unsheath their blades and ready themselves for combat. "Lucas, stick with me and use your PK powers to keep the ones on the mountain at bay," Red sees Lucas nod his head before using it to dish out the damage.
"Squirtle, I choose you!" Red calls upon his Pokemon to help by tossing a red-and-white ball into the ground, propping it open for the pocket monster inside to help out. "Squirtle, use Water Guns and Bubblebeams to help Lucas!" he points to the side Lucas would be unable to cover by himself, and the tiny turtle nods its head and does what he is told.
With a slash of their swords, Ike and Marth team up to defend the frontlines from the monsters coming from the way they came while Lucas tries to snipe them out of the sky with his telekinetic powers. Thinking that they'll need more firepower, literally, Red opts to send out not only his Ivysaur to Vine Whip the creatures away, but also a Charizard to burn them back.
"We should help out, too!" Nana mimics what's going through my mind as well, so we both pick up our mallets to squish any of those "bugs" that come close. With a tight formation in this narrow mountain path, we could hold off for a while. With Red calling the shots, and everyone being so powerful, we take down dozens, if not hundreds, of these... "Shadow Bugs" that these people are calling them.
It is fun at first to work together like a team like this, but with so many of these things, they could easily overwhelm us with numbers alone. Eventually, they start to wear us down: Marth and Ike could swing their swords only so many times before their equipment, if not arms, break; Lucas looks like he's getting headaches from the over-use of powers; and Red's team looks like they're running out of Power Points.
"Agh!" we could hear Ike scream out as the dozens of bugs starts to overwhelm him, and when Marth tries to shake them off his buddy does he leave himself open to the swarm. Within seconds, both of them are consumed by the purple creatures, and it sends a chill down our spines as they reach out for help. Unforunately, we could all use a bit of rescuing ourselves.
"There's too many of them!" Red calls this a losing battle as Lucas is the next to be taken down after being rendered mentally tired. As he backs away, he figures that there's only one thing left to do. "Squirtle, Ivysaur, Charizard..." he calls out to the remaining members of his team, "Clear us a path! Hydro Pump, Solar Beam, Fire Blast!"
Though the domesticated monsters are clearly tired, they acknowledge their master's orders and give the enemies one last finale: using their strongest attacks in tandem, they unleash a blast so super effective that they save their remaining teammates by cutting a hole through the enemy's offenses. A great deal of the Shadow Bugs are annihilated, and the end of the battle is in sight, but there's still enough of them around that they could still win.
"You two, get out of here!" Red calls out to us specifically, much to our surprise.
"No, we're can't leave you with these... things!" I shout back worringly. I don't know what these Shadow Bugs want from these guys, nor what they'll do if they take our comrades away, but Red isn't having it.
"Don't worry about us! Just get out of here!" Red frantically replies as Charizard and Ivysaur are the next to be taken down. With his trusty Squirtle the only one left in the fight, Red couldn't abandon his best friend: even though the fight is clearly lost, Red is determined to stay with his buddy until the very end.
"Popo, don't let their sacrifice be in vain!" Nana snaps me back from seeing Red being devoured by the swarm of Shadows. As reluctant as I am, I nod my head and follow her out as soon as the army of bugs starts roaming our way. "Quick, we need to find a place to hide!" Nana looks around for anything we could squeeze ourselves into, and no sooner than she says that does she spot a small crevice. "In here!" she shouts for me to go first.
"Nana, follow my lead!" I yell as soon I enter the tiny opening, my sister quickly following suit. I immediately turn around and use my hands to form blocks of ice. "Cover the opening!" I plant a block of ice one after another to plug up the hole, and my sister repeats everything I do. With enough blocks in place, we then sealed up the cracks with the icy breeze, buying us time to find another spot.
"We can't stay here! They'll break through eventually!" Nana states the obvious, but there's nowhere else to go. Fearfully, we start looking around for ideas, but even though beggars can't be choosers, that doesn't mean her idea's a good one. "Here, let's get on the ship!" Nana sees the door to the crashed vessel, pries it open, and tells me to get in.
"...Is that such a good idea?" I question, clearly skeptical, but with the sound of cracking ice echoing through this tiny area, I don't dwell on it. I jump inside and she shuts the door before locking it, unlike the last employee to come through that entrance.
"There!" Nana makes sure it's secure before we move on. Satisfied that they won't be coming from that door, she goes over of the room to open that one... only to find it locked from the other side. "No, this can't be happening," she whispers to herself, but within the small confines of the room, I could hear her all too clearly.
"..." I don't know what to say: if we go out the way we came, we'll be overrun by those Shadow Bugs, but chances are, whoever's going to open the other door isn't going to be a friendly. With that realizing sinking into the both of us, we could only sit in silence, awaiting our fate.
"...Popo?" Nana is the one to break the silence, her voice quiet not because she's concerned with any potential enemies outside. "If we don't make it out of here..."
"We will," I try to convince her that we'll get through this.
"But if we don't-" she seems insistent on riding this train of thought.
"We will," I interrupt her.
"Popo, listen to me!" she pleads as she approaches, making sure that I understand that she has something serious she has to say by turning me around to glance a look into her eyes. "If we don't make it out of here... I want you to know... I-I want you to know..." she keeps trying to find the words, but it doesn't sound like it's coming out...
Until she swallows all her anxiety, in fear of never getting to say what she wants to say.
"...That I love you," she finally gets it out, and a blush sweeps across her face.
"...I know that," I don't exactly understand what is so hard about saying that to a sibling, nor why it would cause any sort of embarassment, or why she groans in frustration to my response. "I love you, too-" I casually begin to say, but she thinks it's better to show, not tell.
She kisses me on the lips, which I can quite clearly see, considering I didn't shut my eyes like she does. At first, I think this is a joke, albeit one taken a bit too far... but she leans in closer, planting her chest across mine, I slowly, but surely, start to come into the realization that she's serious.
As precarious as the situation is, I couldn't help but get the impression that she isn't doing this because she doesn't want to die alone. As I think back to our time together, I always wondered: why did she want me to come on the dangerous mission with her? Why would she turn down an invitation to a combat tournament unless I was fighting alongside her? And why did she insist that we went to the summit of the mountain alone?
And now... now I know.
As she stops kissing me to take in a breath of air, I could see a string of shared saliva connecting our lips together.
"It's... hot in here," she says as her face turns bright red, and she starts to undress herself by zipping down the hoodie she's wearing. Like the color of her pink parka, she's wearing a pair of pink underwear, and she eventually removes her jacket to give me a better look. "Are you... feeling hot, too?" she asks me, but I'm too speechless to answer, nor object as she removes my clothes.
Maybe I love my sister more than I thought.
"..." I flash my sister a smile as we both decide to get dressed, wiping the dirt off our jackets before putting them back on. As she smiles in return, we both know that, if we get out of this alive, it's definitely something we're going to be bringing up once again.
With a banging at the door, however, we hurry up and finish slipping into our clothes. With our matching jackets on, we pick up our weapons, not intending to go down without a fight. Our hearts may be beating from the adrenaline, but it isn't fear that courses through our veins: we might accept what comes next, but we are determined not to go down quietly.
Eventually, we hear the tumblers of the door that's locked from the other side starts to unlock, and we grip our mallets tightly. We couldn't see who's opening the door at first, the dim hallway lights are still too bright for our eyes to adjust immediately. When we could, however, we let down our guard, but not because we are faced with an enemy we couldn't stand to defeat.
"Kept you waiting, huh?" a man in a tight body suit smirks upon sprouting that line. I instantly recognize his voice, which is so iconic in its gruff and gravelly tone that it should never be replaced.
"Snake?" I widen my eyes in surprise, clearly not believing who our savior is. "Snake?" I have to ask once again, and no sooner does he nod his head do I jump out and hug him with open arms. "Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!" I damn near tip him over with my body when I lunge at him, but the man is able to hold his ground.
"Easy, there, Popo," Nana pulls me back down, literally, as she grabs the back of my jacket. She might think I'm overreacting, but I couldn't help myself, seeing as how this man is the winter soldier of the Shadow Moses incident. I don't care how the media portrays him, I knew deep down that he is a hero in my heart.
Out of the room, we could see that Snake isn't alone: standing besides us, upon closer inspection, the two figures we saw in the mountains earlier. Now that we can recognize them, they are the fighting Pokemon Lucario and the masked character Meta Knight. Behind them, however, are tons of other characters set to competite in the Super Smash Brothers tournament.
"How did you guys know where to find us?" Nana is curious to know how they are able to track us in this ship, considering Snake didn't pull out his iconic SOCOM pistol to shoot us in the face like he would've anything else in enemy territory.
"You can thank Lucario," Snake points to the Pokemon, who nods his head to acknowledge the appreciation. "He sensed that there were two figures in that room that might be friendly," Snake might not understand how Lucario is able to do that, but Lucario isn't the only one to receive credit. "I was skeptical at first, until someone else was able to vouch for you guys," Snake then turns his head, and in that direction comes another man.
"Red!" Nana calls him by his name and not the color of his hat. "I'm so glad to see you guys are alright!" Nana smiles upon seeing the rest of his team step forward from the crowd. "How did you guys manage to get out of that?" Nana recalls how bad the situation has gotten when we were there, but apparently, Red has an answer for that.
"You can thank Mario and his crew," Red tips his red hat towards the bearer of the other, as the mustached man comes out in his iconic blue overalls, and not in that gaudy doctor get-up. "They arrived as the Shadow Bugs were taking us away, and saved us," Red couldn't thank the fat plumber enough, as who knows what would've happened.
"Is Ike okay?" I couldn't help but ask as I spot Ike being somewhat sullen.
"Huh? Oh, him? He's fine," Red doesn't sound like he's dismissing the warrior, but he doesn't sound overly concered either. "He said something along of the lines that he's too weak, and wants to get stronger and build muscle or something," Red explains why we shouldn't worry about it, as the motivation to get stronger will surely help him out in the future.
"Speaking of getting stronger, we got a nice little group here," Snake, having plenty of combat experience, becomes something of the de facto leader of this ragtag group. "If we're going to save this world, we're going to need everyone to work together to take down Bowser and Ganondorf! Who's with me!?" Snake sure knows how to motivate us, as everyone gets swept away in the moment and cheers to loudly that the whole enemy ship could hear us!
But maybe that's not as bad now.
Travelling through the ship, we eventually get to a place where hundreds of these Shadow Bug enemies are stationed, ready for deployment of the world invasion. Figuring that we'll stop as many of them as we can here, Snake orders everyone to start attacking, and the small battalion rush out into the field. Seeing everyone working together in this alliance is quite possibly the coolest thing ever, but there's no one else I'd rather fight alongside with than my sister.
"You ready, Nana?" I ask before we dive in head first.
"I am always ready... as long as you're with me," Nana smiles as she holds my hand in hers.
"Then let's get ready for the greatest battle of our lives!" I exclaim loudly.
"...Tag me in," Nana only replies before we jump into the fight.
"P-P-!" I hear a female voice call out to me.
"P-P-!" I hear once more. Strange... even though I'm still half-asleep, it doesn't sound like she's saying "Popo"...
"PAPA, WAKE UP!" I awake to see a little girl screaming into my face instead of thankfully my ear, but in her excitement, she decides to slap me across the face. Even with those tiny hands covered in those tiny pair of mittens, she clearly has her mother's strength.
"I'm up, I'm up," I throw my hands up as though surrendering to her might, much to her giggling smile. "Hey there, Napo," I give her a hug before carrying the tiny girl in my arms as I pick myself off the sofa I've been sleeping on in the living room. "Where's mommy?" I look around but I don't see her, so I decide to ask.
"Mama's carrying in the groceries," Napo points to the open front door since that is presumably all the little girl could do to help her mother. "She says she's going to make her eggplant parmesan for dinner tonight!" Napo is really looking forward to eating it, but she isn't the only one.
"She is? That's great!" I could feel my mouth starting to drool, but I try not to let it overflow and spill onto my daughter's face. As I approach the front door to see if the wife needs any help, she immediately walks through the front door carrying a paper bag full of food. "Hey, Nana, how's it going?" I want to inquire about her day.
"Could've been better," she answers back with a tired smile before turning it into a genuine one, "But I can't complain." She kisses me on the lips real quick before heading into the kitchen to set the supplies down. Before closing the front door, I notice that there's an envelope on the floor, and I decide to set Napo down so I could pick it up and take it inside.
"What's that?" Nana wonders what it could be, walking towards me to find out, careful not to bump into the energetic little girl as she zips by.
"Looks like a letter," I shrug before pulling the red wax seal off and taking the piece of paper out of read. "Dear Ice Climbers," I say aloud with fanfare, "For being combatants of previous Super Smash Brothers tournaments, and for your valiant contributions during Operation: Subspace Emissary, we are proud to invite the two of you to the next Super Smash Brothers tournament! Please respond to us at your earlier convenience!"
"...Couldn't you have read it normally?" Nana might be saying that like she wants me to act normal, but I know she finds my goofiness amusing. "Anyway... what do you think?" Nana couldn't help but ask me my thoughts on the matter.
"...I think we have our own fight to take care of," I reply as soon as I lay eyes on my daughter, and Nana seems to agree, so I neatly fold the letter and slide it back into the envelope, intending to respectfully decline the offer. "Maybe next time," I could tell we are both disappointed to miss out, but we know it's for the better, "Please understand."
"It sure would've been nice to see our old friends again," Nana wistfully reminiscent how much fun we had despite the life-or-death scenario we were placed in. Then again, once we joined up with everyone else, we had one of the coolest battles ever, and one of the best parties too.
"I'm sure there's no big adventure going down anyway," I try my best to let ourselves down easy, though I feel a little disappointed not being able to attend after hearing Goddess Palutena was entering as well... but I wouldn't dare tell Nana that.
"Daddy, carry me!" Napo cheerfully asks, as though all the running around she did tuckered her out. She reaches her arms at me to make it easier to handle her, and I pick her up by her tiny waist, swinging her around. "You know my birthday's coming up soon," she reminds me after clawing me in with her cuteness, her devious plan all along.
"I know," I chagrin a smile as Nana strokes her daughter's hair. "What would you like mommy and daddy to get you as a present?" I know that that has to be what's on her mind... but I certainly do not expect what her answer would've been.
"A baby brother!" she exclaims loudly, inciting a blush across my face. Napo may not know what such a deed entails to, judging by her innocent smile... but the thoughts in me and Nana's heads aren't so innocent, as evident by the way we both blush towards one another. "Can I have one, please?" she feels like a sweet smile is going to win us over.
"...Well, can she?" I couldn't contain a smile of my own from perking up as I direct the decision to the one who's going to be bearing it.
"...We'll see," Nana couldn't stop smiling either, and all three of us are looking so goofy that even a professional photographer couldn't take a picture with a straight face. "We could get started tonight, if you like..." Nana teases me for what's to come.
"Could I help?" Napo eagerly wants to assist if it means getting a sibling faster.
"..." Nana and me could only stare at each other with our jaws hanging, Napo cocking her head to the side as she wonders what the problem is. "Ask your mother," I say it as a joke to break the awkward atmosphere, inadvertently making it worse. Napo responds with a pout of her lips... but she isn't the only one as Nana slaps me on the arm.
"Ow," I say instinctively. It doesn't actually hurt, as Nana could tell I was joking by the way she smirks. "Alright, Napo, go play or watch TV or something," I set Napo down as she giggles: she might not understood the joke, but anytime she sees daddy gets hit does she laugh.
"A brother, huh?" Nana repeats the object of her daughter's desires in a very wistful tone. "Out of all the things she asked for..." she trails her voice as though wanting to see if I'll inquire the rest of it.
"What?" I couldn't help but play into her hands.
"I can't believe she wanted the same thing I asked our mom for!" Nana kisses me on the cheek.
1:42 PM on 01.07.2015
"POPO, WAKE UP!"
I immediately open my eyes as soon as someone shakes my shoulders, but that doesn't stop her from slapping me across my face. Turning the other cheek not out of forgiveness, but because of the momentum of her hand, I quickly snap back to face the aggressor.
"What?" I do my best not to raise my voice, however deserving of it she is. I start rubbing my cheek to ease the stinging, as though my mitten is a magic healing wand.
"Come on, we're going to be late!" Nana seems so giddy that not only does she not see the harm in what she did, but she also couldn't keep still, as evident by the way she rapidly jitters in place.
"Did you get any sleep at all?" I couldn't help but ask, deciding to drop any chances for an apology when it seems like one isn't coming.
"No, and honestly, I don't know how you could!" Nana is blinding me with her smile as she grins so widely that I would think she's interrogating me with those pearly whites. "Can you believe we're competiting in the Super Smash Brothers tournament!? I mean, do you remember how the last one turned out? It was utter madness!" Nana sounds so much like a child, despite being the older of us.
Truth be told, I couldn't disagree with her: after turning down the invitation to join the first ever fighting foray and having caught it on TV, I always wondered if Nana regrets her decision. If she did, she didn't show it... least, not around me. After all, I was the reason she didn't attend the original.
That's why, when we not only received an invite for the second competition, but a way for both of us to fight side-by-side, she couldn't say "yes" fast enough. I swear, she practically jumped over the table to sign on the dotted line. I recall it quite clearly: she used my face as a springboard.
"Yeah, I do remember... which is why I was taking a nap," I lean back on my chair, since the bed is claimed by my sister, and pull my hood over my face. "It was just constant, frantic fighting, so I wanna get as much rest as I can before we have to head out," I reason, and she seems pretty accepting of it, so I just close my eyes... but there was a reason she woke me up the first time.
"Well, I hope you got enough, because we're up next," she uses her hand to lightly lift up the rim of my hood and poke her nose into my view. She then teases me by pulling the hood down a bit too hard, almost as though she was giving me a wedgie for my head.
"..." I almost groan. I should be annoyed, but as I watch her walk out the door, yet keep it open for me to travel through, I couldn't help but smile. She better not slam it in my face, I think to myself as I pick myself up off the seat to accept her offer.
"..." I rub my still-stinging nose as I stand next to my sister at the entrance to the arena. She turns to smile at me as she sees the result of her prank, but she appears unapologetic. The smirk on her face suddenly become a huge grin as soon as the lights turn off and the spotlight turns on.
"Ladies... and... gentlemen!" the announcer's deep and booming voice echoes throughout the stadium in tandem of the cheering crowd. I don't know whether its the giddyness or the aftershocks of the man's tremble, but Nana's body is shaking in excitement.
"We are pleased to announce the second ever... Super... Smash... Brothers... tournament!" the man sure is taking his sweet time drawing out a simple sentence, but everyone appears to be eating it up. Still, if I knew he was going to drag this out, I could've caught some extra sleep.
"Today's match will be set in the Pokemon Stadium!" the announcer must be telling it to the broadcast audience as everyone here could plainly see the Pokeball symbol painted in the middle of the green mat. "As before, the fights will be between four combatants, with various items thrown in. The person is eliminated when they are knocked out of the arena and are not able to return."
"Now then, let's introduce our competitors!" the crowd roars loudly, prompting me to cover my ears not because their voices are deafening from here, but because Nana is joining in despite being in a tunnel that echoes. "First up is one of the fighters from the first tournament: the pink puffball that was in the start of it all, give it up for Kirby!" the announcer signals the arrival of the aforementioned.
"Ah, he's so cute!" Nana couldn't resist giving into her girlish whims when she sees Kirby take the stage, waving at the crowd with a high-pitched "hi!" after crash-landing in on a flying star.
"Next on the list is another veteran: the hero of Hyrule, please give it up for Link!" the announcer points to a young man in a green tunic walking into the stage. He has a sword and shield on his back, ready to whip out when the battle starts. Silently, he only nods the crowd's cheering.
"Not as cute as him though..." I swear I could hear Nana swooning over the Hyrulian, but before I could even think of a question does she act all flustered. "B-But neither of them are as cute as you, baby brother!" she suddenly feels the need to pinch my cheeks, prompting me to push her playfully.
"New to the fighting scene is the medicinal murderer, who could hurt you just as much as he can heal you, please welcome Dr. Mario!" the announcer alerts everyone that the man in the white coat isn't the medic in case someone gets too injured, but rather someone dishing out the damage.
"What? New, my foot, that's just Mario in a costume!" I couldn't help but exclaim loudly, baffled how no one could recognize his face when it doesn't even have a pair of glasses across them. "What's next, he's going put on a tie-dye T-shirt? Or leather straps over his head and a sock over his hand?" I joke about the various other get-ups he would pretend to be a different person in.
"Last, but certainly not least," the announce is obviously referring to the fact that there's two of us, signaling that it's our time to arrive. "The pair of the peak, the siblings of the summit, let's give a warm welcome to the Ice Climbers!" he tells everyone of the nickname the village gave us, and no sooner do we step out of the tunnel do the crowd cheers for us. Nana is certainly enjoying the limelight as she blows kisses to the crowd, while I myself merely take it all in.
"Now, before we begin, we must explain how the Ice Climbers will compete," the announcer feels the need to clarify our unique situation once we approach the others.
"Popo and Nana will be fighting together, side-by-side, as a tag-team, as agreed with the other fighters. However, there are certain conditions associated as to how they are eliminated: if Nana, the stronger of the two, is knocked out of the ring, Popo is allowed to fight by himself. On the other hand, if Popo is knocked out of bounds, then both competitors are considered eliminated. This rule is made in place to ensure fairness of the duo, as other fighters need only target Popo, who is the weak link that doesn't pose a threat solo."
"..." I, uh, don't know how exactly am I suppose to handle hearing that, and it doesn't help that Nana is patting me on the back as though to seemingly patronize me.
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," she assures me, and I believe her.
"Alright, if everyone is ready, then let's get smashing!" the announcer makes such a horrible pun that I wish he is in the ring with us, but I decide to direct that energy towards someone else. With a tap on my shoulder, Nana points to our first opposition being Dr. Mario, and with an exchange of nods, we await for the signal. "Go!" the announcer yells with the crowd.
We immediately rush to Dr. Mario, allowing Link to handle Kirby. As I snicker at Link's futile attempts to deflate the pink puffball as it hovers around him looking for an opening, I swing my wooden mallet at the doctor in hopes of getting a hit. He dodges to the side, and when Nana tries to mimic my attack does the doctor flip away.
"..." I stand there dumbfounded because I don't understand why Dr. Mario would pull out a two-color pill the same size of his oversized fist out of his coat, much less how one is supposed to swallow that. "What are you going to do? Hurt me with medicine?" I joke, but no sooner than that quip leaves my lips does he chuck that thing so hard at my knee that I drop to the ground.
"Ow!" I grab my leg as I tumble to the floor, rolling and writhing in pain. I should've expected an arm from someone who plays more sports than anyone else in the world. "Wh-What are you going to do with that?" I ask fearfully as I look up and see him holding another giant pill: whether he's planning to shove it down my throat, or shove it up my suppository, I really don't want to know.
"NO!" Nana makes her way towards me at full sprint, using the momentum of her speed to further aid in her assault. "He's prescription... only!" Nana spins around and whacks the mad doctor in the face with her mallet, the adrenaline in her body being fueled by the fear of malpractice. With a look of shock and awe, the doctor flies off into the distance, clearly not going to return.
"K.O.!" the announcer exclaims loudly, prompting the crowd to voice their satisfaction of the spectacle.
"Whew, are you okay?" Nana seemingly ignores everything to make sure I'm alright, because of course she has to ask, the worrywart... though I did get hit in the knee pretty damn hard.
"Yeah, just fine, thanks," she offers a hand to help me up to my feet, my knee threatening to buckle under the pressure. She appears to be thankful, as evident as a sigh of relief, but our troubles doesn't end there.
"L-Look out!" my eyes widen, but they don't reach the lengths of the pink puffball behind my sister. The moment she turns around and see Kirby opening its gaping mouth, it is already too late: Kirby starts inhaling her in, and despite her attempts to claw on the ground with her mittens, she gets sucked in in seconds flat.
"Aahh!" I could only yell out after being taken by surprise, like a deer in the headlights. Without a second thought, I immediately grip my mallet and start beating the stuffing out of the pink plushie-looking thing before he digests her and she comes out the other end. "Spit-her-out! Spit-her-out-right-now! No-one-eats-my-sister!" I inadvertantly time each impact with each word I shout.
"..." Kirby might as well be a squishy toy used for anger management, judging by the way it deflates and reinflates after every hit. After being squashed so many times in such a short period of time, Kirby finally spits out my sister like a foul-tasting piece of candy. Not expecting how fast she'll come out, Nana crashes into me on her way back, knocking me over. With no energy left to fight, Kirby spins around in a dizzy daze before becoming unconscious.
"Sis!" I give her a hug, only to quickly regret that course of action once I realize how dirty she is. "Ew..." I voice my disgust as I slowly pull my arms back not because of dramatic timing, but because she's a little slimy and my jacket is sticking to hers. "You're so wet, and lying on top of me," I inadvertently incite a blush across her face, and she quickly gets off of me in embarrassment.
"Ow, what was that for?" Nana hits me on the arm once she recovers from the awkwardness. Was it because of something I said? I don't see the harm in that innocent comment.
"For hitting me!" Nana clarifies the cause of the contempt, but she needs to explain herself as I don't recall doing so. "What makes you think smashing Kirby with a mallet when I'm inside him a good idea!?" Nana wonders what was going through my mind when it happened.
"It... seemed like the smart thing to do at the time," I could only shrug my shoulder. In hindsight, perhaps it was stupid to think that, but luckily, the conversation quickly shifts to something else.
"Aahh!" a girl-ish scream echoes pass us as we follow the source of the sound: apparently, that pink shooting star is Kirby flying off the stage. In tandem, me and my sister turn to see Link's sword shine in the spotlight as the crowd cheers the Hyrulian for his knock out. Not content with being in second, Link immediately jumps in the air and tries to bonk us on the back with his blade.
"Nana, move!" I push my sister out of the way upon realizing she's in the way, taking the full brunt of the hit. Stunned by impact, I couldn't do anything as Link slashes me off the stage, knowing that only I would need eliminated for him to win. And it looks like he just might, considering how far I'm flying away, the audience gasping in anticipation.
"Popo!" she calls out to me, but instead of attacking Link from behind, she brushes past him and runs to the edge. Then, in a move no one expects, she immediately jumps off the arena and skydives towards me, hoping she'll catch up.
"Nana, what are you doing?" I couldn't help but wonder, but she doesn't say a word. Instead, she opts to have her actions explain her thoughts: as soon as she grabs my matching jacket, she rummages around her waist to find a rope, then attaches it to my body. As soon as it securely latches, she then uses her arm to throw me back into the edge of the arena, her body lagging slightly. I manage to make it back, but Link is relentless.
Still as silent as ever, Link only raises his foot, ready to stomp on my fingers instead of hoping that my hand will slip due to the mittens, or Nana drags me down below. In a moment of quick-thinking, I immediately move the hand off the edge before his foot lands, then aim the palm of it at the Hyrulian. Within seconds, a cold, freezing gust filled with ice shards emits from my fingers, forcing Link to use his hand, then his shield, to protect himself.
"Smart move, Popo!" Nana shouts a praise as she zips up the rope and jumps in position. Seeing that Link can't see past his shield, not wanting to rish having a shard of ice in his eyes, Nana quickly turns around and offers a hand to help. "Tag me in!" she tells me, and as soon as my hand touches her does she lift me up and turns towards the tunic.
With Link's shield made of metal, it is clear that our abilities to freeze things would be as useless as it was when we were living in a snowy mountain village. Our mallets aren't going to make a dent either... and that's if they didn't just break upon impact. However, Nana eventually comes up with a plan of attack, and quickly dashes towards Link.
"Follow my lead!" Nana doesn't tell me what her idea is, but apparently I'm a part of it. As she hops up, Link raises the shield, bracing for impact... but the twist to her assault is that she grabs his shield, then raises it, and the person holding it, up into the air. With his eyes widen in surprise, Link could only watch as Nana then proceed to slam him back into the ground, landing on his back.
Once I understand what she wants me to do, I immediately run towards them and mimic her moves exactly: I jump into the air, grab his shield, then slam them both down into the ground, ensuring that he lands on his back. Once isn't enough, and two is too few, so we repeat the process a couple of times until Link finally lets go of his shield, the wind knocked out of him.
"Ready to finish this, Popo?" she brandish her mallet.
"Ready when you are, Nana," I whip out my own.
With a nod, we both swing the mallet round and round like two tornados in sync with each other, building momentum with each spin. Link, still in a breathless daze, couldn't do much except watch as we creep closer... and smile, as though okay with being outplayed. As we both hit Link with the end of our attack, the Hyrulian flies off the stage, and we are the only ones left.
"GAME!" the announcer signals the end of the match, and the crowd cheers our names as we stand there in awe of what happened. "The winners of this match are the Ice Climbers!" the announcer makes it official, and once we realize that it's over, we couldn't help but celebrate!
In joy, we jump up and down, but inadvertantly at different times: everytime I'm up in the air, she's already on the ground, and everything she's going up, I'm already heading back down. Still, we are too excited to care, and at the very end of the routine, we give each other a very high, very hard high-five, smiling at the crowd as they cheer us on.
"We won!" Nana excitedly exclaims, giving me a bear of a hug. "I knew we could do it if we did it together!" I hope she doesn't expect me to answer, as she buries my face so deep into her chest that I could probably pass out from the lack of air. "This is the happiest moment of my life!" she squeals happily and, as much as I want to breathe, I decide to let her have her moment in the sun.
10:30 AM on 01.06.2015
"POPO, WAKE UP!"
Apparently, that still isn't enough to get me up: with the voice sounding so dreamily distant, I only quiver my lips before letting my half-lid eyes sink back down like a rock on water. So, to ensure that my eyes would remain on her, she shakes my body harder than the cold could then slapped me across my face.
"Wh-what is it, Nana!?" I jolt awake, rubbing my red cheek. I turned towards the assailant with her hand raised like catching someone with her hands in the cookie jar. Her large mittens did very little to cushion the blow, but at least she didn't use her wooden mallet.
"Oh, thank the Goddess you're up!" Nana hugs me so tight that I could feel her chest pressing against mine even through her thick jacket. "I was so worried!" she cries out louder than the blizzard outside, "I called your name a few times, but you didn't respond so I thought.... so I thought..."
"...Hey, calm down, it's okay," she clearly doesn't want to finish that statement, so I stopped her from doing so.
With the harsh weather outside, we took shelter in a cave in order to escape freezing to death, and she must've thought it wasn't enough when she saw that I was still slumbering. With a breath of relief, she retracts from the embrace, all sense of worry from her gone.
"Come on, we should get going soon," I say to her as I get up to gather our belongings. I didn't notice at first, too preoccupied to make sure our stuff's okay for the trek ahead, but as soon as I grab my bag and turn to her did I see her concern for me replastered across her face.
"Wait, you wanna head back out now!?" Nana is shocked to hear such a suggestion, and even more so that I was serious. "You just woke up! You need to rest more!"
I couldn't blame her for being worried about me: we've been together all our lives, and as the older sibling, she must see me as someone to protect. However, I have to explain to her why waiting is simply out of the question.
"I can't," I tell her as I resecure my backpack across my shoulders, taking care that it wouldn't slip off so easily. "The condor took the vegetables from the village, remember?" I ask if she recalls the entire reason why we're on this mountain in the first place. "Its the only supply we have for the winter, and the longer we wait, the more it's going to eat," I try to reason.
"But it's not going to eat it all, at least not so soon," Nana raises a counterpoint, hoping to deter me from being what she perceives as reckless. "Besides, even if it eats enough that there's not enough to go around, I'll just give you my share!" she even offers, but that reasoning isn't working in her favor.
"I'm not going to let that happen," I don't want to see my sister hungry anymore than she wants to see me starving. "I'm going to get that food back," I say it with such determination that she is now convinced that there's no talking me out of it. "So, are you with me?" I ask if my dear sibling is going along.
"...You gotta ask?" she isn't smirking because she knows that I already know what her answer would be, but because she finds it surprising that I'm the one asking. "I'm the one who volunteered for this mission, and I'm the one who asked you to tag along, remember?" she reminds me of the reality of the situation.
"...Is that a 'yes'?" I mirror her smirk. I didn't hear a clear confirmation.
"Lead the way," she tussles the top of my head as we walk out of the cave, knowing that we'd be doing this together. As we head out into the raging blizzard, whose cold stings the uncovered skin worse than a dozen bees, I couldn't help but voice something on my mind.
"So, why did you ask me to come with you?" I cock my head to the side as though tilting my ears to better hear her response. It appears to have been completely unnecessary though: whenever I ask her why she was so adamant in bringing me along, she would only smile and blush before quickly changing the subject.
"...You know, for all that talk back in the cave, you better have a plan for taking down that condor," she wonders if I was just being headstrong. Even though she might not have answered the question, she seems to be placing a great deal of faith on me. Could that be the reason why?
"There it is," Nana alerts me to the condor's location, prompting us both to crouch down to avoid early detection. The blizzard has subsided, so the weather is much clearer and warmer.
As we quietly take cover by a couple of rocks, our feet crunching the snow as we leave footprints, we peak out through the cracks to see the giant bird placing the vegetables in its nest as though getting ready for a big banquet. Unforunately, due to the troubles the Toppies were giving us, we didn't have time to come up with a plan of attack.
"What do we do?" Nana asks me for any ideas, but I am a little too in awe of the condor to really come up with anything. The bird looks much, much bigger in person, now that we're getting more than the fleeting glance we did when it swiped our supplies. But that size could also be to its disadvantage, as inspiration strikes me when I spot an opening.
"...I got it," Nana turns to me to hear what I have to say. "There's a spot over there I can hide in," she rotates her head to follow my finger as I pointed it towards something that looks like another cave. "If I can get its attention and run there, it should be too big to grab me," I may not know the exact measurements just using my eyes, but it seems very plausible.
"...And that's when I'll sneak over and steal the vegetables back!" Nana hushly exclaims, already knowing the second half of my plan before I got a chance to say it. In her giddyness, she attempts to snap her fingers like a genius for figuring it out, but her mittens prevents any audible sound to emit. As I snicker at her failure, she only lowers her eyebrows at me.
"Anyway..." she causes me to nervously smile as I try to avoid her gaze, and her ire, by getting into position. "Be careful, Popo," she couldn't stress this enough: as much as she would want to trade places with me, she trusts that I know what I'm doing.
"I will," I put her mind at ease as she awaits for my signal. Despite the heavy boots I'm wearing, I might be getting cold feet, but as soon as I see the condor pick up an eggplant to devour did I call out to it. "Hey, over here!" I immediately get its attention by running out with my arms flailing.
Just as we thought, once the bird set its sight on me did it drop the vegetable, shriek a shrilling caw, and launch itself in the air to nab me. As Nana sets out to snag the stuff, I sprint as fast as my feet could in the relatively thick snow towards the cave. Right before its claws could snatch me away, I slide into the cave just barely out of its reach, careful not to lose my wooden mallet.
"Ah!" I'm not out of danger just yet, as in its desperation did the condor try to pull me with its feet before shoving its beak into the cave. Using the wooden mallet, I smack the sharp beak away, causing it to retract itself from the pain. "Whew," I sigh a breath of relief, thinking that the everything is going swimmingly.
However, things rarely go according to plan, and no sooner did I catch my breath did I lose it to the growling roar echoing in the caves. As it turns out, I'm not the only one in here, and once I turn my head did I see a polar bear who is not happy to see me in its home. I don't know why it was wearing pink shorts and sunglasses, but I couldn't ask it as I didn't speak its language, as demonstrated by its bloodcurdling roar.
Without much hesitation, I use the mallet to smack it hands as it tries to swipe at me, but I know I couldn't take it alone. As I try to run out of the cave, however, the condor appears to be guarding it, knowing I would need to leave eventually. With the bird outside and the bear inside, I couldn't even begin to decide which is the lesser of two evils.
"Oh no..." I mutter to myself once I realize the position that I am in. As the bear inches closer, as though to draw me closer to the condor, I couldn't help but scream out for my sister. "Nana!" I might have provoked the bear as it decides to start charging at me.
As I ready the mallet in my hands, tightening the grip as best as my mittens could, I get ready to smack the bear... only to hear my hero reply back.
"I'm coming!" I could hear her from behind the condor, and as all three of us turn towards the direction of the voice did we see the condor get bonked on the head so hard that it crashes into the snow. "Tag me in!" Nana raises her hand, and as soon as I narrowly avoided the bear's lunge when it sees me trying to escape did I "tag" her in.
Changing targets as though it doesn't care who it gets, the bear decides Nana would be sufficient enough, and tries to pounce on her. However, much better at this than me, Nana uses her mallet to repel the attack away, and quickly follows up with an upwards swing. Knocking the bear back so hard that it lands on its side, it attempts to try again, only to meet the same fate. It didn't feel like trying a third time.
"Look out!" I call out, hoping that Nana would respond in time, but I noticed it too late: the fight caused Nana to be pushed back towards the entrance of the cave, well within reach of the waking condor. As it grabs the back of her jacket with its beak, I immediately leap into action. Right as Nana gets picked up do I come in and slam the mallet down at its feet, causing it to caw out in pain, dropping my sister in the process.
"My turn!" Nana calls out as she spins around and smack the condor with the side of her mallet, causing its head to crash into the side of the cave. "Whew," Nana uses her hand to wipe some sweat from her forehead to signify that all the fighting is over.
"Thanks for the help," Nana smiles as me, prompting a slight blush across my face. "Come on, we got a village to feed," she leads as we make our way out of the cave, careful not to trip over the bird.
When I glance over at the nest, I could see that every single one of the vegetables sitting at the nest are gone, all safely tucked away in two bags hidden off to the side. As she picks up the bag of over dozens vegetables, and I the other half, we start trekking down the mountain.
"..." I could hear my stomach rumbling, having worked up quite the appetite from the fight moments before. In fear of embarassment, I hope Nana couldn't hear it herself, but as soon as I see the smile on her lips did a blush of red sweep across my face. The blizzard ended too early.
"Somebody's hungry," my sister is always coddling me... but she isn't wrong in this case, despite how much I would want my stomach to stop giving her something to talk about. "When we get back, I'll make you my famous eggplant parmesan," she promises, giving me a surge of enegy necessary to make the trip back.
"Really?" I ask with anticipation until she nods her head in confirmation, her cooking every bit as delicious as she claims it's famous to be. "Then I'll be..." I stop to pull something out of my pockets to wear, "Looking forward to it!"
"...Are you serious?" Nana couldn't help but chuckle when she sees the sun shining off the pair of sunglasses across my face, the very same one that I took from the polar bear earlier. "You're such a goofball," she playfully pushes me on the shoulder as payback for making her laugh.
"Here you go..." I gaze in awe as Nana sets down a plate of her eggplant parmesan right in front of me, the steam still wafting into the air as it arrives fresh from the oven. I take a whiff of her homemade meal, the scent is so overwhelmingly tempting that I readily grab my fork about to dig in, only to be stopped by my sister.
"Not yet," Nana smacks the back of my hand with the back of her spoon as she takes a seat across the table. "We say grace first, remember?" she reminds me as she stretches her arms towards me, gesturing my hand to be held in hers. Begrudgingly, I set my fork down and accept.
"Dear Goddess, thank you for allowing us to bring food back to the village," Nana acts as though we only succeeded due to Her divine assistence. "And we thank you, Goddess, for seeing us from our mission safely," I could hear her praying, and see her eyes already glancing at me as I peek open, prompting me to shut them tight. "Especially my brother Popo," she adds at the end, "Amen."
"Amen," I mean that, because that means I can finally eat. As I pick up the fork a second time to cut off a piece of eggplant and wrap it around the spaghetti, I immediately bring it to my mouth... only to hear a knock on the door. "..." I look at the bite reluctantly, with it being so close yet so far.
"Hehe, I'll get it," Nana smiles at me warmer than the fresh food as she gets up out of her chair to answer. Even though she's allowing me to continue eating, I couldn't help but feel curious as to who would be interrupting dinner, so I decide to take a peek myself.
"Hello?" Nana cocks her head to the side quizzingly as she opens the door and sees the person behind it. "How can I help you?" she asks politely, only to remember how cold it is outside. "Uh, we can talk inside, if that's what you prefer," she offers, and the stranger seems to agree. The second he arrives does he immediately know what it is he wants to talk about.
"Aren't you Nana? The one who climbed the mountain and save the village food supply from a condor?" he appears as though he doesn't need a response despite asking, but Nana nods her head anyway. "Alright, let me explain why I'm here: my company wants to invite you to compete in a new fighting tournament called 'Super Smash Brothers'. We think you will be an excellent addition to the roster, and we hope that you will attend."
"Me? In a... fighting tournament?" Nana is surprised to hear that, and it's quite visible from the look on her face. It's true that she knows how to handle herself with her wooden mallet, as evident by how she took down the bear in the cave, a tale which has been told numerous times around the village. However, whether or not she wants to compete or not, all it takes is one look at me to make up her mind.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline," Nana causes the man's eyebrows to raise, as though he hadn't expected a refusal. "I don't go anywhere without my brother Popo," I couldn't see my sister's face from here when she turns back to the stranger, but I could just tell she's smiling as though it is so radiant that her aura shines through her back.
"Oh no, don't worry, we can accommodate him as well," the stranger doesn't think that it's a big deal if one more tags along for the ride. "We can arrange for him to stay at a hotel with you, if that's what you would like," the stranger really seems to be bending over backwards for Nana, but she shakes her head, thinking that the offer isn't enough.
"No, I'm afraid you don't understand," Nana decides to clarify what she means. "My brother and I do everything together, and that includes fighting," Nana reveals the truth behind the refusal of the invitation. "Unless he's out there in the ring with me, I'm going to have sit this fight out," Nana finishes any and all talks on the matter right then and there.
"...I see," the stranger could completely understand, and he is sure that the tournament wouldn't allow tag-team fighters. "Well, I'm sure the company will regret this turn of events, but perhaps we will try this again another time," the stranger accepts the decision and turns towards the door. "I'll just take my leave," he opens the door and walks through the opening, "Good day."
"Good day to you as well," Nana closes the door behind him before turning back around to face me. "I'm surprised you didn't keep eating," she sees nary a spot of sauce across my lips. "Come on, the food's getting cold," she gestures me to return to the dining room table where we can resume our dinner.
"..." there is an awkward silence that fills the atmosphere, but it's quite clear to me that my sister Nana really values my presence here. While it would've been interesting to see how she would fare in a tournament of other fighters given her skill, we say nothing more on the subject for the rest of the evening, having other things to talk about.
10:50 AM on 01.04.2015
So, it's finally 2015, huh? You guys doing good? Have your New Year's Resolutions down and trying to figure out how to either do them, or get out of it? I mean, I know I-
Argh, you know what!? Forget the formalities! Excited by all the fetish blogs to surface, I will now be adding my entry by talking about one of my favorite hentai mangas I've ever had the pleasure of reading through (there might also be another fetish blog, because come on, I gots plenty)!
Like I said before, I want to talk about some of my favorite henai mangas during my weekly contribution to the Cblog Recap team! I think everyone on the recap team, if not the entire site, has their own unique style of blogging, and I want to voice what I thought were great reads. However, I figured that since there's no better way to start than with what could pretty much be considered one of my favorite hentai mangas ever... I might as well be my first personal blog of the year!
So, buckle up (or down, if you get aroused enough) because this beast of a book is actually over 200 pages long, separated over 6 chapters. Now, don't worry, most hentai mangas I'm going to talk about are going to be much shorter works, like an average between 20 to 40 pages because they'll be mostly works from a monthly hentai comic book series (think Shonen Jump, but with porn). That way, if I decide to include these into the recaps, and you enjoy me talking about videogames and movies, there'll still be there. I decided to talk about this particular one first because not only did I actually imported from Japan for a pretty penny (yep, money on porn), but it also inspired me to write my own novel that's more or less finished.
[DISCLAIMER: I'm sure that many people want a link, but I'm wary of providing one. I don't need to tell you that the link is obviously NSFW... HOWEVER, it might be riddled with pop-ups and/ or viruses, and I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's electronics or anything. Proceed at your own risk.]
They grow up so fast!
Obviously, if this is going to be my favorite hentai manga, then it's gotta feature my favorite fetish: brother-sister incest, especially with an older-sister/ younger brother pairing! The premise of the book, established in chapter 1, is that Noboru is related to the student council president Keiko, who is seen as strict, yet beautiful and admirable, by everyone. Now, if you read or watched any hentai, then you already know how big of a slut she's going to be, so it's no surprise to see that she is absolutely obsessed with performing fellatio with Noboru every single day! When they were children, Keiko was curious about the male anatomy, so after she licks child Noboru's penis and sees him ejaculate, she becomes addicted with the sensation, and starts perfecting her technique.
She starts getting better over the years, and now that their parents aren't going to be home for months, they have more privacy and opportunity. However, they never did anything more... until now. After confiscating what they thought to be a porn DVD of cumshot compliations from a student at school, the two find out that it's actually an adult film about brother-sister incest, and after enough foreplay (if you can call orgasming multiple times "foreplay"), they eventually decide to try it out for themselves. Now, the sex scenes are actually pretty long, but a lot of them involve blowjobs since the artist really loves drawing them, so it can feel a bit redundant. They mix it up every now and then over the story though, but just a warning nonetheless. Regardless, the end of the chapter involves them confessing their feelings for each other, albeit a bit hornier than I would've liked.
Sick in BOTH senses of the word...
Chapter 2 starts off with the two making out in a classroom, only for Noboru to realize that his sister's getting a fever, so she has to stay home. Since she's sick, she can't perform her favorite hobby of giving blowjobs, and after withholding herself for so long, she starts feeling uncomfortably horny. She even calls him "dick", which I thought was pretty funny used in this context, and she's so desperate for the dick that she'll take any opportunity she can to suck it. As the one needing to take care of her, Noboru cooks up a batch of rice porridge to help nurse her back to health... but Keiko won't eat any unless he feeds her. You may be thinking that that's cute, but since Keiko's a horny pervert, she wants him to feed her mouth-to-mouth, using his tongue to whip it into hers. And, of course, since she is a horny pervert, they end up doing it after they run out of food.
Naturally, Noboru gets sicks the next day, and now it's Keiko's turn to nurse him back to health... by repeating what they did yesterday.
As an aside, since this chapter is relatively bloated, I've actually had something like that rice soup before, and I personally thought it was so tasteless that it's like drinking water with rice in it... and believe me, it's as appealing as that sounded. However, there was these deep-fried bread-like sticks (think churros) they serve alongside it that was pretty good. I have no idea what it's caused, but it's quite tasty to eat... but then again, I enjoy eating dozens of unsalted saltine crackers.
Looks like she already had her fireworks display...
Chapter 3 involves the two going to a fireworks festival as something like a date. Noboru was really surprised to see that his sister is inviting him, but he has no regrets coming after seeing his sister in a yukata (ohh... that's a fetish!). He even finds her adorable by the way she gets flustered eating a candy apple! However, other than simply wanting to hang out with her boyfriend brother (not boyfriend's brother!), it turns out that she had a secondary reason for coming here: to sample the really huge, and by huge I don't mean famous, meat sticks that they sell here! Noboru then feels conflicted: on one hand, if it weren't for these hot dogs, they would've have come to the festival in the first place... but when he sees her shove that thing in her mouth, he immediately becomes jealous. I mean, I would too: those things were like the length of his arm! Sensing that something's wrong, Keiko assures that Noboru has nothing to worry about as, you guessed it, they have sex once more. Now, this sex scene involves object insertion, but with some kind of weird pump thingy I've never seen before. Honestly, I was expecting him to shove one of the meat sticks inside her since I'm used to seeing food shoved down there, like that one Rule 34 image of Palutena getting fucked by a carrot after that Revolting Dinner anime, but it didn't happen.
Afterwards, the two just decide to chill out and watch the fireworks together... if only because Noboru's sperm has Keiko's kimono sticking to her skin. Try saying that 5 times fast.
After receiving a call or text from their mother who forgot something, Keiko and Noboru's mother is coming home for a quick visit for Chapter 4! Because they are so used to just doing it at a moment's notice, Noboru is slightly ticked that they might have to hold off the heat for today... but Keiko, being the smart pervert she is (she is student council president, after all!), she has a plan to keep the fire going! After stopping by a bookstore, they get home and Keiko shows Noboru the results of her "do-it-yourself" project: a glory hole! Keiko tells Noboru that he can use this hole to suit both their sexual urges without fear of getting caught, and after much reservation, Noboru finally gives in and uses it. He starts to be more aggressive, since not being able to see the other person makes him less inhibited, and Keiko is enjoying it! Unforunately, the mother arrives home in the middle of it, and although Noboru locked his bedroom door, Keiko hadn't (smart thinking there), and thus hides the hole and her naked body by wrapping herself in her blanket and pushing her ass against the wall. Of course, this just gives Noboru easier access to what he wants, and he eventually starts having sex with Keiko despite her mother being in the room for some brief exhibitionism (another fetish)! After a short talk, the mother has to leave, so no threesome (she only stayed for, at most, five minutes), but Keiko and Noboru still go about their business.
After they're left alone, Keiko and Noboru sees no other reason to have the glory hole, especially since it's much more "powerful" than they estimated... but since the sex from before was so good, they decide to use it one more time.
At least she's honest.
Now, so far, the story has been pretty set in reality. I mean, I'm not saying this does happen, but it could. However, the events during Chapter 5 does dip into the realm of fantasy, and is the only chapter to do so. After their parents left, their father's role in this story is sending them something called "Fountain of Youth" pills, which transform one into a younger version of themselves for a day. Naturally, Noboru finds it shady and suspicious, but Keiko is willing to try it out by popping one in her mouth... only to trick Noboru into swallowing it with a little French kissing! At first, it doesn't work, but then Noboru starts shrinking into he's finally a toddler, which now begins another favorite fetish of mine: straight shota (younger boy, older woman)! Keiko starts teasing Noboru for having such a tiny penis when he was a kid, which brings him back to his fears about how easily he would ejaculate when he was a child. Keiko assures Noboru that he has nothing to worry about, and allows Noboru to have his way with her... which he gladly does now that her boobs looks bigger from his smaller size! They start having sex, because what else do they do on a daily basis, and Noboru eventually overcomes his childhood fears... of, again, premature ejaculation.
At the end of the chapter, we see that Keiko has taken the pill herself. There's no lolicon sex, unforunately, but you do see her playing with Noboru's penis. Cutely enough, after Noboru confesses his feelings to her again, Keiko gets flustered, and attempts to hide behind his erect penis like a shy schoolgirl. I'd totally post the picture if censoring it didn't defeat the purpose.
She's too cute!
Finally, we make it to Chapter 6, in which Keiko and Noboru actually go out on a date! Well, I mean, they technically did during Chapter 2's fireworks festival, but the characters don't care because they're tired of hanging at home all day. "Unforunately" for Noboru, Keiko's idea of a date is having sex in other places! At first, she "innocently" guilt-trips him into taking a photo booth picture, but her perverted twist on this trope is to have a shot of her cumming inside of her mouth! Still not satisfied, she wants to give blowjobs at movie theatres and department store changing rooms, and she has no reason to stop there! After ordering something to eat at a diner from cumming so much, Keiko tries, and succeeds, in convincing Noboru in having both fellatio and anal while hiding underneath their table. After they aren't satisfied, Noboru wants to head to the bathroom so he can move as wild as he likes without drawing attention, but he doesn't want to remove his penis from her butt so, funny enough, they have to huddle over there. Do I really need to tell you what he has to do to motivate her to move faster? After they make it, more sex stuff happens, and then they finally leave the restaurant to sit on a bench in the park, commenting how risky that was. But still not satisfied, Keiko wants to do it once more, reasoning that no one comes to this area at night.
The book ends here, but did you enjoy it? Like I said, I actually own a copy of this myself because I like it so much (the images are ripped from a site though): with the great art style, funny humor, and wacky premise, it's hard not to find it charming... and apparently, I'm not the only one!
Turns out, this has actually been adapted into an actual hentai animation! I haven't actually seen it yet, as I only recently discovered it... but considering that I went through the hassle of not only paying a pretty penny for the book, but also having to track down a copy in the first place, you can already guess that I really want to watch this! And I hope to! From the "trailer" (I dunno what that video is supposed to be), it appears to go from Chapters 1 to 3, and if there's a part two, then I can't wait for it to be released! Now, if any of you have seen it, and better yet, know a safe website to watch and download it (or just hand me the download itself), PLEASE let me know! I've been burned by viruses hunting hentai before, and I've been afraid to search for it!
As an even BIGGER favor, if anyone sees this for sale on Blu-Ray, PLEASE don't hesitate to direct me to a site where I can buy it! I know importing a Blu-Ray would be pricey, but as long as it isn't too outrageous, I will be willing to buy it. I'm sure that Japan and the U.S. have the same Blu-Ray region, so it should be compatible. However, if it's only on standard DVD, I would actually be willing to buy a region-free DVD player for it, so again, LET ME KNOW!
That apple ain't gonna be the only sticky thing she'll taste that night...
Well, that's the end of that! Not bad for the first time, eh? :P
Anyway, let me know what you think down in the comments below! Again, I'm not sure if I want to keep this in my personal blog, or stick it as an aside on my weekly Recaps, so any thoughts or suggestions would be really appreciated!
1:12 PM on 12.21.2014
Well, 2014 happened. Destiny didn't set the world on fire, unless you count the sparks that flew from everyone grinding. The Evil Within, as pretty good as it is, shouldn't be the last thing to Shinji Mikami's legacy. Watch Dogs was probably one of the only few games that I went to a midnight launch to and traded it in the same week.
Needless to say, there have been several disappointments. Don't get me started on games slated to come out this year, only to be pushed back into the next. Hey, I get it, take the extra time to make the games. Learn from Assassin's Creed: Unity's mistakes. But that still leaves some broken hearts when the release date's coming up.
But hey, the year wasn't all that bad. I bought me a Wii U for less than $250 (had to trade a couple of things to knock the price down though) and I don't regret it: as much as people bag on its early years, the Wii U really hit it out of the park this time, and I have my faith in Nintendo. Sure, I'll buy a PS4 the same day Final Fantasy XV comes out (don't you jinx it!) but the Wii U will definitely have a spot for me next year with Splatoon and Xenoblade Chronicles X.
As great as next year seems, this year had some rad releases, and I'm here to give you my list of what I consider the Top 10 games of 2014! Now, as a disclaimer, let me admit that I did not complete some of the games on the list. I'm sorry, it's unforunate, and I seriously considered not making a list until next year when I did. But, since no one gives a fuck anyway, I figured why wait?
I will say this though: this list isn't really made with an order in mind, so just assume I like all these games equally. I also did not play every single game to come out this year, indies especially, so try not to hold it against me.
Honorable mentions: Dragon Age: Inquistion and Grand Theft Auto V (PS4/ Xbox One)
Reach for the Sky...
As a big fan of Dragon Age: Origins, I bought Dragon Age 2 as quickly as I could, but it was a severe letdown. Now, if you like it, great, but I personally found it to be a waste of 20 hours (my playtime's actually 25, as there were, admittedly, some cool parts sprinkled throughout). Having played Inquisition for about 30 hours now, I have mixed feelings about it: it's a big game, and the scale of the plot feels pretty damn epic all things considering, but unless I'm just not far enough yet, it feels lacking in story content. I got to Skyhold and played a couple of side-missions that I had access to (boo to the Power system!) but it feels like filler quests despite being the "main" objective for going to that region in the first place. I figure the Inquisition arc will be the better, but people tell me that the side-quests are the meat of the game, and that's worrisome if I'm getting pretty bored of it. Again, maybe I'm not far enough, because I did do "Of Somewhat Fallen Fortune" and it was along the lines of what I'm expecting, but I guess we'll see. Either way, it may not be on the list itself, but at least it's better than not getting a mention at all.
All of the Lights
As I said back in my Top 10 Favorite Videogames of All Time blog, Grand Theft Auto V places number 2 on that list for good reason: it had three playable, likable protagnists, some pretty amazing graphics for the last-generation consoles, really nice animations, attention to details like being able to shoot a car's gas tank then have it actually run out of gas... I could go on and on! So, hearing that not only is it getting a port that makes the graphics look better, but also adds more pedestrians, traffic density, and a dedicated first-person view (remember you could go into FPV during certain situations, like lap dances) makes me feel like I could fall in love with it all over again. Seriously, I'm already planning to get this as my first purchase when I get a PS4 (aside the aforementioned Final Fantasy XV) and I plan to spend hours just reliving the glory of the single-player, with amazing missions, heists, and overall awesomeness.
[Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles]
Posing with Posers
Okay, this may be a port of a port, but it still holds some sentimental value to me. Tales of Symphonia is one of the first JRPG with an actual story (Pokemon don't count!) that I played, and one of the first games where I actually cared about the characters: Lloyd was a good guy, Genis is his best friend wrapped up in his schemes, Colette is just honest-to-goodness pure, Raine is my waifu, and so on. The story starts out super cliche'd and continues being so for a while, but once it hits you what's happening behind the scenes, like Colette's supposefully "beautiful" transformation into an angel and the cost of doing so, the game gets real real quick. I remember being pretty damn captivated when I was younger, and I still get into the game whenever I replay it; it holds up well, in my opinion! Sure, perhaps much of my love is due to nostalgia and rose-tinted glasses, but other than Vesperia, I never met a cast so charming as the Symphonia crew. I mean, Sheena gets flustered real easily, Kratos is a badass, Regal is the secondary badass, Zelos is the playboy who hits on every living female, even the seemingly underaged and emotionless Presea, who wields a big fucking axe.
Now, the PS3 version doesn't run as the 60FPS that the Gamecube version did (however erratic it was) and unforunately the unvoiced skits and tedious dungeon designs leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but Symphonia had a lot more going for it. It had the Affection system, which slightly alters the story for a personal touch, and pretty great voice acting, considering it was perhaps the only Tales game to have a Union cast. The combat may lack some of the newer mechanics like Free Run, but it's still as fun as it was back then, and can actually be more difficult without it! Overall, while newer entries in the series have their strong points, Symphonia feels like it was better in terms of the overall package, and this version comes with all the new things added to the Japanese PS2 version of the game, making it somewhat the definitive version!
Oh, Dawn of the New World is included? Well... okay then.
[Bravely Default: Where the Fairy Flies]
The Four Heroes of Light
Square Enix not only proves that they still got the magic in them with this title, but that you can teach an old dog new tricks. Don't get me wrong, I like Final Fantasy XIII (it had some glaring faults but I enjoyed it) but people want Square Enix to return to their roots, and they did... but they did with the modern gamer in mind. Sure, people love random encounters and turn-based combat... but instead of merely giving us what we want, they allowed us the option to adjust the rate of random encounters AND the ability to speed things up to make grinding a bit less tedious. Yeah, it got added in the second version of the game, I believe, but better late than never!
What about the combat system though? Well, they added something called Brave Points, or BP. When you go into battle, you must use BP to perform an action, such as attacking or using magic. You get one BP per turn, but you can also get another BP for choosing to "Default" that turn. Essentially, this means that you're giving up a turn, but now that you have two BP, you can perform two actions the next time you're up! You can either cash in those BP, or Default again to earn more! You can even spend BP prematurely by choosing to "Brave" that turn, meaning you perform up to four actions, and you'll pay off the owed amount of BP over the course of the battle. This adds an interesting layer in battles, as you can go all out to slay the dying boss... or risk becoming defenseless as you regain BP ever so slowly.
With great graphics (use that 3D!), likable characters ("Unacceptable!"), beautiful art designs (Florem looks nice!), awesome music (my favorite's "Land of Radiant Flowers"!), this is simply a well made game. Maybe not a well-designed one, the second half of the game considering, but still worth a look!
[South Park: The Stick of Truth]
Apparently, the Truth Hurts
Remember when I mentioned "broken hearts" earlier regarding delayed game releases? Well, that's how I felt near the end of 2013 when it's announced that this game would be delayed until early 2014. Despite having the writers and voice actors from the show working on it, I was skeptical that the game could be good, and if I were to be let down, I'd like it to happen sooner than later. Thankfully, the game is awesome! The graphics really were true to the series, with the signature style right down to the animations being so perfect that it really could be confused for an actual episode! Don't even get me started on the story itself: the narrative is among one of the funniest that I've ever played when it comes to videogames, and that's a real rare thing to come by with all the melodrama games try to lean towards nowadays. If you're a fan of the TV show, you're definitely going to want to check it out because it's pretty much a playable movie, with a wacky plot that only Trey Parker and Matt Stone could pull off in their own unique way.
The combat is also pretty fun as well! Utilizing the same mechanics as Paper Mario, it's a turn-based game that requires more interaction from the player in order to maximize attack power and reduce damage taken. Sure, the game is actually really easy to cheese (just Bleed everyone), but the premise of kids fighting with makeshift weapons is such a delight to see, and the special moves each class has can range from the Thief's badass Death of a Thousand Cuts to the Jew's cringe-worthy Circum-Scythe! You can also bring along one of the staple South Park main characters with you, including Princess Kenny, who has the ability to self-revive in battle as a nod to his continuous string of deaths in the show! This game is simply one of the best fanservice a South Park fan could get, and I swear, if there's a sequel involving the kid's superhero alter egos like Kenny's Mysterion, I would lose my mind!
[Persona Q: Shadows of the Labyrinth]
I Burn My Dread to Reach Out to the Truth!
You know what else makes me lose my mind? Crossovers, and Persona Q is definitely one of them! Mixing two cast of characters from the same series, Persona 3 and Persona 4, players not only get to see these faces again (though the majority of them reappear in the canonical Persona 4 Arena Ultimax) but also get to see them interacting with one another in a goofy fashion! As if that wasn't enough, this is the only other game where you can play as the protagonist from Persona 3 AND have Shinji in your party, so that makes me even more excited! Unforunately, there's no social aspect of the game, which means also no Social Links, but the characters are still pretty true to themselves, and there's a bit of mystery as the adventure takes place during the Culture Festival of another version of Yasogami High. There's also an introduction to possibly one of my favorite Persona characters ever: Rei! She's this girly character who is just too adorable for words, and the way she gets so hyped up for food is just lovely! She has one of the best voice actress I've heard, and that says a lot coming from an Atlus game!
I know I'm just talking about the non-gameplay aspects, but it doesn't stop there! The game also blends the Etrian Odyssey's first-person dungeon crawling with some of the staples from the SMT series, such as Personas, weakness exploitation, and All-Out Attacks! At first, I didn't think I would like mapping out my own areas, but frankly, it's becoming second nature, and I really dig it! I use Auto-Map because it's somewhat pointless not to, considering that you need to step on almost every individual spot in order to get access to a special treasure chest (though you can also use Play Coins), but I really like this style of gameplay! The game is still as challenging as the other games, and it can get a bit cheap with the enemy instant-kill attacks, but overall it's a fun title that's sure to last you hours! I remember playing for so long that my eyes were so blurry that I couldn't see the time on my digital clock!
...That's not a good thing, is it?
[Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
The Winner is You!
Phoenix Wright was one of my heroes in the DS library as I loved the Ace Attorney series, and although I don't like reading, these things suck me in with their excellent writing and courtroom-style drama. Seriously, I play those games upon hours on end, almost to the point that I'd have to sit next to a charger so I wouldn't have to put it down. So, as a fan of the series and crossovers, as soon as I heard of this one, I knew that I had to have it: I didn't know who Professor Layton is, but I didn't care because Phoenix Wright is awesome! Forunately enough, I actually really ended up really liking the English gentleman as well, and his voice actor strangely sounds pretty damn cool! The premise of the game is that Professor Layton, Luke, Phoenix Wright, and Maya (gosh, how I missed her!) all get sucked into this book, and end up appearing in a magical fantasy world where they work together to defend Witches from being falsely accused and burned at stake. As someone who loves this mix of fantasy and courtroom drama, this was an amazing premise to me, and the story had its hooks on me for the 25+ hours.
While people are mixed about the ending (other than preferring a certain direction, I also think Phoenix and another character could've been more prominent), I thought this was a wonderful tale to be told, and the production values seems pretty damn nice as well! Taking cues from both series' soundtracks as well as some original composition, the music is easy on the ears: I get chills whenever I hear "Layton's Theme" running through my headphones, and I feel so epic when I point out a contradiction and "Objection!" plays to let me know I'm right! The anime cutscenes are so gorgeous that I really wish for an anime version of the game just so I can watch the whole thing in motion! Sure, the puzzles might be weaker and the courtroom sessions have a bit more hand-holding than I would like, but I love this game so much, and I can't wait for the poster to arrive so I can hang it up in my room!
Pictured: The amount of people who agree with me... including me.
Ay, I know what you're thinking! "This guy's got jokes!"
Actually, I'm serious. I really love Titanfall. Was it an overhyped game that had way too many articles on virtually any videogame site? Yes. But was it fun? Yes, yes, it frickin' was. When I bought the Xbox 360 version a couple of months later after the Xbox One version, I was addicted to this game, so much that it was all I could play for a while. The entire premise of the game may be Call of Duty with mechs, but damn it, that combination was like a Reese's peanut butter cup to me! Add in those brain-dead bots that gives you something else to kill in order to score points and cooldown on your Titanfall and I was hooked on bloodlust and the fast-paced combat. Seriously, I thought no FPS could give me an adrenaline rush since Modern Warfare 2, but Titanfall had me sitting on the edge of my seat, outright standing sometimes, with my heart-thumping loudly and my hands so jittery that I couldn't drink that 4th can of Mountain Dew.
Huh... I wonder if there's a relation.
Anyway, while campaign was a letdown, and the game was like a firecracker in terms of how long it lasted, I enjoyed every single second of the game. Jump kicking enemies, snapping people's necks, rodeo-ing Titans... they weren't kidding when they said they wanted a game where every match has some kind of "water cooler" moment that you could talk to others about! And I tell you, nothing makes me feel more awesome than being on the losing team with not only the most amount of points than anyone else in the match, but also being the sole survivor of the entire match!
Fly Me to the Moon, Let Me Play Among the Stars
Okay, if we're talking about amazing moments in gaming, you have to mention some of the insanity that happens in Bayonetta 2! PlatinumGames took one of the coolest games of last generation and not only delivered an epic sequel, but refined it so much that it's nearly perfect! Sure, I really dislike the "still" cutscenes (I understand that they save resources and disc space, but it's still a letdown) and perhaps the final boss might not be as big in scale as the Goddess you kill in the original... but don't tell me fighting angels on a fast jet flying through the city before being chased by a giant monster on a bridge isn't one of the hypest moments in gaming, ever! The combat is just so fluid, and Witch Time is so addicting to pull off, that I don't care all that much if they shoehorn a fight every now and then: it's great dodging attacks at the last second before unleashing a combo in slow-motion! Plus, with so many weapons to use, including dual chainsaws, you can experiment with different combos and see what works for you!
The story is also surprisingly pretty damn good! While it lacks the humor of the first game due to the severity of the story of the second, there's some pretty awesome plot twists sprinkled throughout the adventure! Let's just say, without spoilers, if you played through the first game, that you'll certainly appreciate the turn of events in this one! Speaking of the first game, that game is bundled in, meaning that you're getting two great games in one! And if that isn't enough, the second game is also filled to the brim with so much content to unlock, such as advanced techniques, items to help you steamroll through enemies, and costumes that Bayonetta looks so good in, that you'll definitely get your money's worth! Anyone with a Wii U should play this game, if only because the boss fights against the Masked Lumen is perhaps some of the coolest boss fights ever. Hey, if fighting inside of a demon with blood splashing around everywhere isn't awesome, then what is?
[Super Smash Brothers for Wii U]
The More, The Merrier
Despite the Ice Climbers not coming back (I know I'm beating a dead horse, but I still haven't forgetten about Mega Man's exclusion in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 either) and no Adventure Mode-style game type, I think ths newest entry to the series is among the best. The game has the biggest character roster to date, a lot of characters are different enough from each other that they feel unique (screw Dark Pit), the graphics looks absolutely gorgeous in 60FPS, and this is the first entry to include 8-Player Smash. Yes, 8 Players can get together locally and create madness! What other console game can tout that? Not getting into the whole console wars, Super Smash Brothers can be a pretty great party game, but having the ante upped to 8 participants allows it to be even more of a spectacle to either watch or take part in! Plus, it makes matches so intense and so wild that you're lose yourself more often than not, and we had some hilarious moments when someone inadvertently walks off stage because they couldn't keep track of where they are. And when someone grabs a Hammer and starts wailing on everyone off the stage, it might as well be a fireworks show!
The music collection is also really dope, as you'll hear iconic Mario medleys as well as classic Mega Man themes, and even Sonic Adventure 2's "City Escape"! Seriously, there's hundreds of tunes included, and a lot of them are worth listening to! There's also hundreds of trophies to collect, and they are all pretty detailed for something that is only a 3D model to look at. However, the main draw of the game is the fast and frantic gameplay, whether you have 8 players with items cranked up to the max, or a simple yet engaging 1v1 with no items or distractions. If you have a Wii U, there's no reason you should pass this up!
[TellTale's The Walking Dead: Season 2]
Luke, use the Force!
TellTale's The Walking Dead: Season 1 is one of my favorite games to play in 2012. I've beaten it a couple of times now, and the emotional ending gets me everytime. So, naturally, when a sequel is announced, I felt giddy... but also skeptical, as how will the game play out now that Clementine is the one you control? I thought it would feel weird, but it actually adds a new dynamic to the game because instead of playing as a character capable of strangling someone with his bare hands, you play as a tween girl who has to use her wits to survive. It also allows you to play the sympathy card because people see you as a harmless child, and I couldn't help but keep trying to preserve her innocence throughout the adventure. While, in the original game, I was concerned with her safety, the sequel had me concerned with the kind of person I wanted her to be, and for a game to evoke such a response to me is something personal and worthy of being so high on my list. I also cared about my companions, especially Luke, who is extremely likable despite first impressions, and I genuinely felt sad whenever someone dies.
The gameplay is also much more streamlined, which is a plus to me: no more wandering around aimlessly as you almost always know where to go next. People lament the lack of puzzles, but on repeated playthroughs of the original game, I found them to be highly annoying, so I'm okay with them not appearing as much in this one. However, while the added QTE makes the game feel more action-y, the best part of the game are the choices you make. Sure, none of them really amount to much, but it's interesting to be presented with options and wondering what the best course of action to choose. Seriously, some of them had me sitting there for as long as possible trying to do what I consider morally right, and being chastised for my decisions can be a real heartbreaker. Speaking of heartbreaking, the ending is right up there with how I felt with the first season, as I teared up something awful. Now, there are multiple endings, so you may not get the one I got, but I really loved the ending I got because it involves an emotional farewell that really hit me hard in the gut.
[Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed]
I've seen enough hentais to know where this going...
Really, did anyone not expect this to end up on my list? I wrote a pretty lengthyblog about it before, and I'm perfectly okay talking about it again! Set in the Japan's Electric Town Akihabara, you play as an otaku who must rid the city of these enemies called Synthisters, who are essentially vampires. But how do you defeat such a thing? By stripping them of their clothes so you can expose their skin to sunlight and burn them away! The game is so goofy in its self-aware nature and parody of otaku culture that it's neither serious nor sexual: the game doesn't try to be anything more than a light-hearted adventure, and it doesn't exactly attempt to titillate the players with big, bouncy boobs and jiggly asses. Honestly, the main reason you're playing this game is the novelty of it alone, but man, am I love with the gimmick! Stripping people's clothes off is so stupid yet fun to watch, and whether you're using your fists to fight or a giant kebab, there's plenty of ways to make the experience wacky. You can even unlock different fighting styles like the Drunken Fist or Telekinesis... you know, when you want to strip people without touching them, because you're polite like that.
The things I absolutely adore is the voice acting and writing. The writing has some legitimately funny jokes woven in, and most of the time the English dubbers sound like they had a good time recording. The best lines, which is practically anything that comes from the main character's mouth during dialogue sequences, aren't voiced at all, unforunately, but they're still funny to laugh out loud to. The music may not be great, and the graphics are definitely deserving of the budget title, but there's a lot of charm in its presentation. The areas in this game are modeled after the actual Akihabara, and everywhere you go you can see posters for animes plastered everywhere. Heck, you can even watch videogame trailers on the television screens if you so choose (though they loop every 10 seconds and get annoying after a while)! The loading screens even have ads on them, and you can collect brochures of actual store locations too, in case you ever decide to visit the city for yourself! I love this game, and if they continue to make more, I will probably pick up any and all sequels to come out stateside (even if they don't have English dubs; I'm willing to make that exception to my personal rule)!
So, did you agree with my list? Well, no two lists are alike, so let me know in the comments what you think! Better yet, get to blogging yourself!
7:39 AM on 12.02.2014
I met her when I was just setting out on my journey around the region. She was a scared little girl, attempting hiding her face whenever I glanced her way. I slowly approached her with an arm extended as though to offer her my hand, but she must've took it as a threat.
Without much hesitation, she immediately vanished from my eyes.
Was I going crazy? Did I just imagine her, or was that one of her many special abilities? I thought that I would never get the chance to find out for sure, as she could be many miles away from here, so I kept on going.
However, it wasn't long until I ran into her again, residing in a rather large patch of grass easily able to hide her from predators... and presumably me. I tried to make contact once again, but the moment she looked as though she was going to teleport away did I retract my hand back. Figuring there would be no more interaction between us, I decided to not let her further delay my journey, and kept moving forward.
It wasn't long into walking out of this route did I heard the scuffling of feet behind me. In a brush of a forest, I was paranoid that some dangerous foe could be lurking behind me, but as a mere human without any means to defend myself, what could I do? Overwhelmed with fear, I decided to run and hide behind a nearby tree, hoping to lose sight of my pursuer whilst gaining an eye of them myself.
To my surprise, I saw the same little girl as before, turning her head left and right in fright. With a whimper, she started getting scared, and she eventually cried out. Taking a look around, I noticed that it was only her in the vicinity. Was she the one following me? If so, why would she, after she went through the effort to avoid me like the plague?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I thought, so I stepped out into the path to reveal myself. With something sounding like a joyous glee, she immediately ran up to me to give me a hug as though I was someone to save her from the dark forest. As I reached my hand out, she did nothing to signal she would disappear, and within seconds did I pet her soft head, careful to avoid her horn.
"Do you want to come with me?" I asked, and she replied with the most vigorous of nods. With a smile, I introduced myself as she told me her name. With her by my side, we left the forest and onto the next stage of our adventure.
"You're quite the tiny thing," I said to break the silence.
Time has passed, and so did our childhood.
I had become a teenager, and she became something like one as well. She was still a little shorter than me, and I would tease her about it often. Hey, we would need something to talk about while walking to our next destination, and she knows that I'm kidding, despite the huffs and puffs she would say in response.
How do I know? Because even as she turns her head away in frustration, she always stayed by my side. Always. We would be here for each other, no matter what happens.
And as though the goddess has chosen to test our trust did we run into trouble.
As soon as we got into a clearing, several purple horned creatures aimed their heads at us, ready to ram that thing. I recognized these monsters via a special electronic guide I have in my pocket: despite the advantage my friend has, these creatures' poison stingers are still bad enough to send either of us in a hospital should it come into contact with our skin.
At first, she wanted to teleport us away, which she could do quickly. However, as she was trying to hold me close, but one of the monsters immediately stopped her from casting her spell with a hard tackle, knocking the two of us away. Relentless, the monster singled me out as the most defenseless, and tried to give me a taste of its horn. The wind knocked out of me, I couldn't stand in time, let alone run. With fear, I closed my eyes and awaited the pain to arrive.
But it didn't. Instead, a loud "thud" immediately echoed throughout the area. When I wondered what caused such a thing, I opened my eyes and saw that the purple creature has been knocked to the ground... hard. Unconscious, the creature was out like a light, and in its wake as my friend standing over me. She turned around to flash a smile, as though to tell me that I'll be okay.
And I believed her.
The other monsters readied themselves to attack, as though thinking they could take on my friend. I don't know why, maybe they thought the one she knocked out before was simply weaker than the rest, but what I did know was a fight was unavoidable. With another attack, my friend used something to make the monsters confused, and soon did they start to attack one another as though unsure who the true enemy was.
Thinking that the problem has been solved, she walked over to my body and helped me up to my feet. However, as soon as my hand was held in hers did I see that one of the monsters had recovered quicker than we expected, and immediately ran towards us, With no time to react, it sink its stinger into my friend's back, poisoning her with an ailment just as she did to him and his friends.
With my friend weak, and I defenseless, I was worried was is to happen... But, by some miracle, the one purple monster that, in its confusion, took out the other monsters, had seen the one remaining to fight. Charging as quick as it could, it rammed into the last purple creature with such a forceful headbutt that it renders them both unconscious, leaving me to tend to my friend.
Weakly, she was happy that I was safe, but I wasn't going to let her faint. Though my ribs hurt a little from the attack before, I carried my friend as best as I could, supporting her weight with my own. It was a long walk to the nearest treatment center, but we were going to get there.
"Help, I need a doctor!" I shouted as soon as I walked into town, my friend breathing slower and slower each passing second. Luckily, the treatment center was located at the edge of town, so as soon as a nurse spot us did she send her pink assistant for a stretcher. Unable to stay with my female friend, the nurse told me that I could wait in the lounge, and that she'll call me as soon as possible.
The wait was excuriatingly painful, but it was probably nothing compared to what my friend had went through. As I sat in the bench, all I could do, other than pray to the goddess for her recovery, was to replay the scene in my head over and over again. No matter how much I thought about it, it doesn't changed what happened.
She risked her tiny body to save mine... and I very much appreciate it.
As soon as the nurse exits the room, this time to tell me that I could see my friend, I immediately sprang to my feet. In spite of decorum, I quickly ran to the room, only to hesitate right after placing my hand on the knob. Thinking about what to say, what to do, I stood outside until it finally hit me.
I would tell her that I love her.
With that set in my head, I turned the knob and pushed open the door.
"You're looking lovely," I smiled as I walked into my room to see my adult-sized friend lying in bed, the sunlight streaming through the open window as she looks out towards the morning sun.
"..." she smiled back as she rubbed her expanded belly hidden underneath my blanket, cradling it as though it was already a baby in her arms.
"I brought you some breakfast," I showed her the tray of pastry puffs I held in one hand, and her eyes lit up as soon as she saw them. As she took one off the plate to nosh on happily, a slight snicker let slip through my lips, and she turned to see what was so funny.
"You got a little something on you," I pointed to her face where a dash of creme lingered, but she had trouble trying to find it as she palmed her lips. "Here, let me get it for you," I used my index finger to wipe it off her face, prompting a slight blush across her cheeks. "You're so cute!" I noted her reaction out loud as I opened my mouth, since I wanted to lick the creme off my finger.
However, I sat there speechless as she turned the table on me. Just as I brought the finger up to my lips did she lean over and lick it clean for me, smacking her lips as though enjoying it. Flustered, all I could do is blush myself as she flashes me a pair of mischievous eyes, as though to rub her victory in my face. Still, as we sat in bed together enjoying the rest of the treats, all there were were smiles across our faces.
"...I love you," I felt like I had to say it before I bit down on yet another treat.
"...Gardevoir!" she said to me before biting down on hers.
9:31 AM on 11.14.2014
As I mentioned before, I'm always planning my next videogame purchases even after I just bought a handful, so while I'm still drooling over soon to be released games (though, realistically, I may not get them all because of the lack of funds) like Hatsune Miku: Project Diva F 2nd, Super Smash Brothers for Wii U, Dragon Age: Inquistion, NES Remix, Persona Q, the Playstation 4 version of Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed... as well as catching up with games I've been meaning to buy like Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, The Evil Within, The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD... I'm already waiting for 2015 to drop because it looks like it's going to have many awesome titles coming out, and as a gamer, I can't just turn away and let them slip by! But with so many great games announced, which ones am I anticipating the most?
Well, I'm not gonna tell ya!
Ha, just kidding! Don't be like that!
Say it, don't spray it... oh wait...
When it was first announced at E3 way back when, I must admit that I might've been a little too hyped about a game where little boys and girls run around shooting fluids at each other... but the game looks very solid: an interesting twist on the shooter genre, instead of spraying bullets at one another and taking cover, you're trying to splatter as much paint as you can, and the team that covers the battlefield with their goo the most wins! The premise is very unique, but even better is that your character is a squid-like entity that can somehow sink itself into the paint and swim under the surface, despite how swallow it is, to zip across enemy lines and truly conquer the arena! The emphasis on colors, mobility, and personality (as the characters just oozes it by their looks alone) is what makes this title stand out to me, and I'm definitely keeping a close eye on this.
On a related note, Rule 34 of Splatoon has been so good to me: there's this one involving a squid girl (no relation to Squid Girl) reloading her gun by pumping her penis (yep, she's one of those) into the container that's just lovely, as well as another involving a little boy "filling up" little girl.
All you gotta say is that Hidetaka Miyazaki, the director of Demon's and Dark Souls, is attached and I'm already interested: those two games alone has earned a lot of goodwill from me, and if Wikipedia is to be believed, then he was also responsible for Armored Core: For Answer as well, which was one of my favorite mech games! Bloodborne also rocks a cool premise of being in set in a medieval fantasy world where a terrible disease is turning people in frickin' werewolves (which isn't very original, but better than zombies, runners or otherwise)! I can tell that the atmosphere is going to be wickedly dark and unsettling from the screens alone, and I'm hoping from what I'm hearing from the game mechanics, such as being able to recover health by hitting the enemy within a certain timeframe, that this game is going to change up the formula of action-adventure games by utilizing a risk-reward system.
Also, you get guns, which instantly makes this awesome!
[Dead or Alive 5: Last Round]
It's getting hot in 'ere (so what?), so take off all your clothes...
Ah, Dead or Alive... the game where the fighting's as good as the fanservice. Seriously, it may not be a true current-gen title, especially being the third iteration of the same game (four if you count the free-to-play Core Fighters version), but if it's packing all of the DLC costumes and characters, then that's alright with me: Kasumi in a schoolgirl outfit, Ayane in her school swimsuit, Sarah Bryant (who isn't a DOA girl, but she's hot so I'm not complaining) in a bikini... ugh, who ever said too much of good thing is bad must've been crazy in the head! Also, I think someone said that they are improving the "physics", if you know what I mean, and they were already pretty mesmerizing as it is too... so I can't wait to see how it's going to be now: boobs, covered in sweat in a bra-less outfit, bouncing in 60 frames per second... man, it's going to be heaven when I finally get my hands on a PS4 later down the line!
Did I just spent the whole paragraph talking about the girls instead of the fighting? Guess I know why I lose all those matches.
I think a Russian dominatrix said that to me once...
Honestly, do I need to say why? No? Good... because there's no much to say about this title, considering how little we heard about it. This goes double for Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem: when the hell are we gonna see something about it!?
[Xenoblade Chronicles X]
I believe I can fly... I believe I can touch the sky...
I never played Xenoblade Chronicles, despite being pretty interested in the mechanic of the game like Party Affinity or the Visions system, mostly because I didn't really have a Wii anymore at that point... but to be honest, I felt pretty "meh" by what I've seen: the game looked great, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't doing much to excite me, and it doesn't help that Gamestop are gouging prices. However, for this game, I was entranced by the first or second reveal: mechs are awesome, and seeing them whiz by in cutscenes, combined with the ability to create your own character to insert yourself into the story, was sweet, and the graphics definitely aren't too shabby! Coupled with the newest reveal in the latest Nintendo Direct with its look around the city and landscape that sprawls out as far as the eye can see, and I honestly can't wait to get this in my Wii U: it may have the same cons that made me avoid the original, but I'm very much willing to give this a shot!
[The Legend of Zelda for Wii U]
Bows before hos...
I'll be honest, I haven't really played any Zelda games because I usually get stuck within the first couple of dungeons, so I guess they never really clicked with me... but man, when I saw the trailer back at E3 and got a gaze at how gorgeous it looked (even Link was especially pretty!), I knew that this would be my first purchased Zelda game! Er, I mean, unless I buy the aforementioned Wind Waker HD or the next game on the list, but I'm probably not just because I'm going to be using what little amount of money I have trying to acquire the hard to find titles like the Project Diva F 2d game and Akiba's Trip: Undead and Undressed. Anyway, the point is, that one trailer was so nice and pretty that I'm willing to take a chance with this game, and it was only, what, a minute-long trailer? That's how impressed I was!
That badass arrow wasn't too shabby either: fuck crossbows!
[The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D]
Eh, you didn't need to sleep anyway.
When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly... sorry, I was watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as I type this up. Seriously though, growing up as a young child who was very much into bright and colorful cartoons like Powerpuff Girls, this game scared the hell out of me: the graphics were dark, the content even darker, and that moon was perhaps one of the scariest things I've ever seen! However, as I got older, I guess my tastes must've gotten a little warped because now I kinda dig the dark atmosphere: one of the first Zelda games I truly, truly wanted to try was Twilight Princess because, ever since I saw its reveal in a Nintendo Power magazine, I loved everything about it... and having played a little bit of it at a cousin's house, I was instantly hooked! Unforunately, unless the Wii U can play Gamecube games, or the Wii U gets an HD version (please, oh please, let it happen), I probably won't finish the title... but when it was announced that Majora's Mask is getting released on the 3DS, I'm much more willing to give it a shot now that I'm into the dark, spooky stuff!
I did spoil the story for myself a couple of years back though: sometimes, when there's a game that I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn't play, I usually wiki what happens, and there was a charmingly little manga adaption. However, I still plan to get this game and experience it for myself!
[Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain]
First he loses his eye, then an arm... I have a bad feeling about his testicles...
I wouldn't say that I'm a hardcore Metal Gear Solid fan, but I played many titles in the series, and I love them all (some more than others though). While Ground Zeroes is woefully so short and a bit lacking despite the "replayability", I still appreciate getting a taste of the next main game, and I can't wait to play The Phantom Pain: the trailers make it look like something epic, and each new features just hypes me up more and more! Yeah, the changes in gameplay might be a little too much on the action side, even more so than Guns of the Patriots, and the graphics of Ground Zeroes on the PS3 was pretty jarringly jaggy... but come on, it's a Metal Gear Solid game; we know that it's gonna deliver, and I trust Hideo Kojima to present a wonderful experience; he also promises it to be a pretty dark tale, and as I mentioned above, I'm very much into that! It's a little weird seeing Keifer Sutherland, a.k.a. Jack Bauer of 24, as Big Boss though, especially after playing all the games with David Hayter (not bringing this up!), but perhaps hiring a celebrity means that Hideo Kojima considers this project to be an important one.
Not pictured: actual hills.
Speaking of celebrities, Silent Hills stars Norman Reedus, a.k.a. Darryl Dixon of AMC's The Walking Dead, as its main character, and I gotta say, it looks very much like him: ah, the powers of the Fox Engine! The game itself, however, isn't exactly given much gameplay to go on, but it did have this cryptic something called a Playable Teaser that was a mix between scary and psychological horror that supposefully really nails the atmosphere (I haven't played it due to a lack of a PS4 :( )... and judging by the positive reception, I'd say that this series is in good hands. Even though Guillermo del Toro is working on this title as well, I respect Hideo Kojima's background and aspirations, and I trust that his creativity is going to be main reason why I'm, if not many of you other gamers, are going to be interested in this game: I'd even go as far as to say that Hideo Kojima is quite possibly the closest thing I have to a "hero" of sorts, as I find inspiration in his history and hope that perhaps I'll be able to follow in his footsteps.
[Tales of Zestiria]
Shoot... I'm going to have walk all the way there, don't I?
Like I said with Metal Gear Solid, I'm not a hardcore fan of the Tales of series, especially since so many of their games don't make it overseas like Tales of Fandom, Tales of VS., Tales of the Heroes, and subsequent sequels of Tales of the World... but I enjoy most of the titles I've played, and the cast of characters are amongst the best in gaming: you'll get to know them as friends who care for one another, and their banter are the main reason I love the series. Because of this, anytime a new Tales of game is announced do I immediately look forward to it, and hearing that this new one not only changes up the combat system, but also allow for an open-world like structure, not unlike what Dragon Age: Inquistion is doing, sounds like they are really trying something new with this entry. It's also returning to high fantasy, which some players might be excited to hear as I am: while I liked the modern-like setting of Xillia, especially since Ludger gets to wield dual pistols in the sequel and everyone has a cell phone for easy convenience, there's much more imagination to returning to the realm of fantasy, and I'm hoping to slay a dragon or two!
Anyway, those are my most anticipated games of 2015: I realize that I'm missing out on some great titles like Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, Evolve, possibly Final Fantasy XV[ and The Last Guardian (hey, a man can dream!), but I tried to limit this to just ten games, and I had various reason for not including certain titles. Still, what games are you looking forward to?
Wait, what are you doing, writing a comment like that!? You better get your ass to the blog manager: someone better continue the chain!
7:15 AM on 10.29.2014
The month of Thanksgiving is coming up soon, and I just wanted to say, after I started being active here after years of simply lurking around like a wallflower at a school dance, that I've come (heh, come) to appreciate this community so much: you guys are good people, and reading some of your blogs not only entertained me to no end, but it also allowed me to get to know a lot of you better... and I must say that several lot of you have made quite an impression on me!
I've hopped around various videogame sites over the years ever since I was old enough to use the internet for anything other than a machine that shows me naked women, but never have I ever felt like this could be a place I could stay: Destructoid have been my home on the web, and I never would've done as much as I did if I didn't feel devoted to the site. Sure, admittedly I didn't do much in the grand scheme of things, I suppose (I'm not a HUGE member... and I don't have a HUGE membership either), but if I could, I would've liked to get more involved with this fine community.
Wait, "would've"? When someone says something like this, chances are said someone is going to be leaving soon. so you're probably wondering if I'm going anywhere. Well... I don't know; I honestly can't say for sure: one of the reasons why I'm writing this blog and posting it up is because I'm not sure what's going to be happening somewhere down the road, and I wanted to take this time to tell you all what you mean to me, and that whatever happens, I'll remember you guys. Seriously, I never really belonged in a clique for most of my life, so I've been pretty much a loner for the majority of my life, but I'm almost always glad to scroll down the comment section to see what antics await.
So, you're probably wondering what's got me all tense, what's eating away at me... well, it isn't easy for me to say, but it's not because it's hard to type the letters. No, it isn't easy for me to say because I know that, once I do, that you guys will lose all respect for me: I've left a lot of communities because I no longer felt wanted there because of what I said, either out of anger or out of... well, moments like these, and I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't be leaving this site for the same reason. However, in light with all the other Dtoiders leaving, whether it's due to scandals or simply because they must move on, I feel like, if I am to leave, that I should tell my tale.
You see, I made some bad decisions in life, and I'm expecting to be paying for it real soon: starting it off in high school, I never knew what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn't exactly put forth the effort into finding out. I did do my schoolwork, however, and I even got a 3 point something GPA and earned a partial scholarship (Bright Futures, I believe), but I think that was because I just didn't really know what else to do: I figured the path to my future would reveal itself in due time, so I didn't dwell on it much. As the grade levels go up and my time ticking down, it came to a point where I had to decide whether to go to college or not.
One thing people never realized about me, whether it's my teachers, parents, or whatever, is that good grades doesn't mean you're smart, and I was practically living proof of that: I feel wholly incompetent in everything I do, and when it comes to studying, I got by with pure memorization and luck. Seriously, a lot of tests I got back with an A and praise from teachers feels empty because I knew that I guessed on over half of these questions, and a majority of them happened to be right; when my luck runs out and I got the grade I deserve, teachers would say I didn't try because they didn't know the truth behind my first success.
Because I realized this about myself, I chose not to go to college after high school, and for three years afterwards, I was practically a bum: all I did was go to work two shifts a week (which means about 10-12 hours, and yet I still complained about it), played videogames, and wrote fan fiction for the longest time. Sure, I love creative writing, and writing stories that people would actually read was something that kept me going for the briefest of excitement, but I can't deny that I wasted those three years.
As you can imagine, I couldn't live on my own with a situation like that, so naturally, I lived with my parents who, while I can't say that I feel close to, I'm still thankful for what they've done for me. However, understandably, by the end of the third year, my parents basically gave me an ultimatum: either I start working full-time and pay rent or save for an apartment; go to college; or leave the house. Even though working itself wasn't too bad, I was in really low-spirits by that point (remember: I was writing fanfiction for just a tiny bit of praise), and the job was pretty soul-deafening at that, so the thought of working full-time scared me, even more so than becoming homeless.
So, I decided to go back to college, but once again, I made some bad decisions: I only went to school part-time, and I even quit my job despite having ample amount of my time to do them both because I couldn't give up writing and playing videogames. See, at this low point in my life, stories, whether I was playing, reading, watching, or writing them, were literally all I have keeping me going, and I needed to cling to them as best I could: if I wanted to know what happens next, I would, and have, forgo any studying or homework just to see the next cutscene.
Obviously, videogames were having a negative effect me, but it was also doing it in another way. Yes, videogames were seducing me away from my priorities in my life, but I always thought that the adventures I witnessed was worth the trouble to get to it... but with each great story I experience, I also feel a tinge of melancholy: I see all these wonderfully written tales, these characters I care about, these magical moments... and while I admire what they did and how they did it, I also doubt my own creative writing abilities in the process. Videogames thus became something like a double-edge sword: it was the only thing keeping me going, but it gummed up the works as well.
Despite all this, however, I'm still "technically" managing my studies with A's and B's... but when you take two easy classes a semester, it's not impressive. Really though, all I'm doing is delaying the inevitable: like as was the case in high school, I don't have any goals in life, and I can't get by with having "undecided" as my major forever. As the number of required courses for my AA degree starts to dwindle, eventually, I must pick a major... but as I'm sitting in the guidance counselor's office over and over again, hearing that I need to decide soon, I just can't seem to find one that I want to do that happens to be one that I can do.
At this time in writing, I only have about four regular academic classes and seven elective courses left to take, but without a major, they can't select my electives. As I'm sitting here typing this up, I think I'm about to make the worst decision of my life: I think I'm going to drop out of school, and there's a good chance that I'm not going to get a job, able or otherwise. If we're referring back to the ultimatum I mentioned earlier, the only choice left is option three: I'm sure my parents will kick me out of the house.
Honestly, after bumming for three years, then having them pay for my full tuition (I had financial aid, but funny enough, the family income became right on the mark to be considered ineligible) for another two years, only to do the equalivant of spitting in their face... I don't blame them. Now, this is all spectulation of course; I haven't told them of my intentions yet: I mean, how the hell do you go up to someone who has tolerated you when others would've given up, to tell them that I wasted their money and I don't plan to make something of myself?
I've also been a burden to my parents as well: I'm wasting their money going to school for no reason, I don't do much chores around the house, and I'm even taking out my frustrations on them. I think my parents would be much better off without me, which makes me feel even more guilty and somewhat determined to leave on my own.
I suppose I already lost all your respect by now, if not way back already, so there's no point bothering to explain my apathy... but the reason I don't really mind what happens if I'm homeless is because I lost a lot of will these past few months, and I don't really have a reason to keep living the way that I am. I lost the passion for writing a little while back, and while I am surely no Shakespear, I miss it so much, yet I can't type anything whenever I finally make time to sit in front of the computer screen and an empty Wordpad. Besides, so what if I write: no one's going to read it, and no one's going to want to read it anyway.
I've been thinking about the only possible future for me, and all I can see is is a cycle of constantly going to work everyday at a dead end job before coming home to play videogames, eat, sleep, repeat for as long as I'm alive. To me, that doesn't sound like a good existence, and after being depressed for so long, I'm not inclined to try it for myself: I already feel so dead inside, and that's just pitiful. Sure, there's plenty of things worth living for like finding love and having kids, but I don't think I'm going to be as lucky as those who are granted such blessings.
So, I said what I felt like I needed to say. To tell you the truth, I don't feel better after getting it off my chest, but I hope someone knows how I'm feeling: I haven't told anyone anything yet, and I decided to do so here even though there isn't anything you guys can do for me because... well, I kind of see you guys as family, even if you guys see me as that annoying relative that you hope wouldn't show up during the holidays, so I felt like I could open up to you like this. Sure, I may have lost your respect, but I still felt comfortable enough to talk about myself to you like this.
Anyway, if or when I do leave, I'm going to want to come back to this community: if I finally get a handle on life, this will be among one of the first places I'll be checking out when I finally shape up. While the members might change, this place seems to generally attract the friendly sort, so I'm sure to make friends once again. Chances are, I probably wouldn't use this account anymore though: I guess it would be best to start clean as the negative stigma would cling to me like toilet paper on the bottom of my shoe.
Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere just yet: I'll still be lurking around here for some time until I can't no more, so I guess we'll see what happens when it happens. Just don't get too attached to me: I'm an anchor and I don't want to bring anyone down.