Well, what is there to say about me? I'm kinda like your average gamer: I like to play games, I like to talk about games, and I hope to work in the video game industry one day.
I do tend to enjoy videogames more than the average gamer would though: videogames have been my life for as long as I remember (hell, the earliest memory that I can recall personally is me waking up and hopping on my SNES to play that X-men and Spider-man crossover game) so it's as much a part of me as my personality.
Although I LOVE to play videogames, having been doing so my whole life, I am not as skilled in videogames as others so I usually play on easier difficulties. Don't get me wrong, I do find it a bit dull when a game's too easy, and I do respect games that are hard for the players who want it (Dark Souls is deliciously hard and I wouldn't want it any other way) but I'd still like it if developers catering to gamers like me who simply aren't as skilled as others.
I have a wide variety of taste when it comes to games as I try to keep an open mind about everything that comes out: just because I play mainstream games Halo and Call of Duty doesn't mean I can't enjoy the underrated ones like Anarchy Reigns, Fire Emblem, and the like.
Ico was a game that I've always admired: like the girl I've watched at a distance throughout high school, I always like to glance at her every chance at get, wishing to be together, wondering to myself what would experiencing it be like... unforunately, I never did ask out that girl, not that it would've mattered anyway since she already had someone else she was committed to, but I always did wonder whether I even had the courage to ask for a date or not whenever I think about her: I technically didn't know anything about her since we never spent much time together. However, I knew that she dabbles in videogames, loved to watch anime and read manga, and was a damn good drawer; plus, she was gorgeous and frickin' beautiful to boot, and this was coming from someone who mostly reserved his infatuations to anime women.
Ico was a game that I never played but I knew a lot about it from what I hear through the grapevines of gaming magazines: set in a castle in some far off land, a young boy shunned from his village is transported here to be locked away from society; there, a stroke of luck releases him from his prison and he manages to run into a young girl who he wants to escape the castle with. It's an interesting premise, and while not unique (Super Mario Brothers did it first), the rest of the game is: unlike most games I've played: there were no HUD (Heads Up Display, like health bars), no map, no objectives list... hell, most of the game revolved around the concept of escorting a seemingly useless woman from the dangers of shadowy creatures. Despite it deterring many players from ever placing the disc into the tray of their consoles because of its unique take on videogames, I found these details to be quite intriguing, and I've always wanted to experience it.
Unforunately, it didn't seem as though it was meant be, for you see, I had a Nintendo Gamecube during that generation instead of the Playstation 2, and thus, I didn't have any opportunity to ever play this game. I did have friends who have PS2s but they weren't the type to ever even pick up a game like this: if it didn't feature beating people to a bloody pulp or blowing their brains out with a gun, chances are they didn't play it. Then, when I finally came across a PS2, it was a slim model, and it apparently had difficulties reading blue-layered discs, which every copy of Ico I could find were printed on. Eventually, I gave up trying to get a taste of the game... that is, until, I finally got my PS3 and the Ico and Shadow of the Colossus Collection (truth be told, I bought the collection well before I got my PS3... I'm talking months, if not a year or two earlier, but that's beside the point).
Funny, the cover makes it look like these belong in a museum...
So, I'm all set, right? I mean, I finally accrued enough money to purchase my Playstation 3, and there was virtually nothing stopping me from popping the game into my console and finally getting to play it, so why go for it? Well, see, The Last of Us was a sort of a big deal at the time, and I watched my friend play through half the game already... and since I was so intrigued by the game, I might as well beat the rest of the story for myself and see what's so good about the ending (needless to say, I was more than satisfied). No problem, I suppose: I mean, it took me this long to have the opportunity to play Ico that another week or two wouldn't kill me. But then, as other games started to come out, sequels or games I've been anxious anticipating, I kept pushing Ico further and further down the list that is the backlog... why am I putting it off?
Well, I've been making excuses for a good while, ranging from "I paid full price for this; if I wait to play it, then I might as well waited for a price drop" to the usual "it's a sequel to one of my favorite series; I have to know what happens to the characters I love!", and it seemed, at first, that I was just wanting to try out the hottest game on the market, but then it hit me: as I finished off everything in the new releases column, I immediately went to my "collection" (which, like my penis, it's nothing to brag about) in order to scour for games to play, and I found myself reaching for a second playthrough of other games (like the Mass Effect trilogy) instead of trying out Ico, a game I've been yearning to play for years now. In fact, I've even entertained the idea of popping it in... only to play the other game included in the collection: Shadow of the Colossus, one of the games I've quite enjoyed when I first got my PS2.
Shadow of the Colossus was made by the same people who made Ico, and since I really loved that game, it stands to reason that I would love this. And it's not like I never dabbled out of my comfort zone every now and then: I bought Catherine the first day it came out because it was so original (I never played Q*bert) in everything about it... so what was wrong with me? Why am I not playing Ico? There's nothing stopping me, no more excuses to make, so... why, why was I so anxious to play it? Was I... afraid? Was it fear that's been making me apprehensive? At first, I thought it was stupid and absurd to be afraid to play a videogame, but to tell you the truth, it was exactly that. Now, it doesn't scare me in the same manner as would playing Fatal Frame 2 in a dark room would, or being tortured to play Superman 64 (never played it, but can't be good with all the infamy surrounding it), but it scared me for several reason. See, I was afraid I wasn't going to like it: yes, different gamers have different tastes, and surely, I wasn't going to like every single game in the world... but, just from the premise alone, I... wanted to like it.
Unlike LittleBigPlanet, Ico was much harder to get into for the average gamer
I loved the concept of being a young boy going to rescue a beautiful maiden from the evil shadow monsters. See, when I first heard of this game, I was still only a child myself, and while there are many games that features child protagnists, I loved the idea of saving an older, beautiful woman from the clutches of evil. I guess you could say I had a hero mentality, mixed in with an attraction for older women: I was always looking at women rather than girls, even had a crush on a few teachers here and there, and people always told me that women like mature young men; as the child I was, I thought being mature would be something akin to a hero, like a knight in medival fiction trying to earn the hand of the young maiden. That spurred me to want to try out Ico even more: don't some people say they love videogames because it can get them to live a fantasy that they wouldn't otherwise?
Well, Ico was my chance to play the hero, but unlike the lad featured as the protagnist of this game, I couldn't even muster up the courage to step into his shoes, let alone face the shadowy creatures head on with nothing but a stick to swing with... what if I didn't like the game? They say you should never meet your heroes because you would only be disappointed, and this game was like the underdog hero of the Playstation platform: what if the comparison rings true? There's no way this game could ever live up to my expectations, and the more I kept imagining how great the game must be, judging from everyone who recommends it (like Destructoid's own [url="http://www.destructoid.com/review-the-ico-shadow-of-the-colossus-collection-210885.phtml" Dale North[/url], who sung high praises about the games within the collection), the more the disappointment had the potential to be. At least, if I never played it, I would never find out the truth about its quality... kind of like how Holo from the anime Spice and Wolf detered someone from uncovering her hood by saying that she could never be as beautiful as the inquiring young man imagines her to be, and that she would never think to crush his hopes like that with the truth.
You would think that the game would be collecting dust in the back corner of my "collection" from this blog, but that wouldn't be interesting way to end a blog now, would it? Despite what I said, I kept having this nagging feeling that I had to play this game: I couldn't explain it, it just felt like I owed it to myself to finally experience this game after waiting for so long. So, one Sunday afternoon, I decided to gulp down any anxiety I may have, inserted the disc, and actually entered the game from the XMB screen. That anxiety must've been caught on my throat, as I didn't immediately select to play Ico, but in some ways that was a good thing: although this has given me one more chance to turn back and quit out of the game, as I thought of doing, it wasn't until that wonderous music came on during that beautiful "selection" screen that convinced me to stay: the theme music for Ico, "You Were There", quietly whispered out of the speakers of my television set, and it enchantingly drew me in. Sounds melodramatic, trust me, I can see it myself, but it's true: I just sat there for a minute listening to it until all my anxiety was gone, and then I started playing.
Just Hold On, We're Going Home... It's Hard to Do These Things Alone
And I'm glad I did: the game, while not as awesomely epic as I imagined it to be (then again, it would've been impossible judging by the amount of hype I harbored), was still a delight to play. Seeing some of the iconic moments for myself, such as watching Yorda sit in a cage suspended in the air, was a pretty thing to gaze upon, especially in this high definition port, and that was only the early parts of the game. Speaking of Yorda, I grew attached to the young lady; I dunno, maybe it's because she's so meek, or pretty, that I felt like I had to guard her like knight: I wanted to protect the weak, frail, fragile maiden, and anytime any shadows pop out of the ground, I wanted to beat them into oblivion. And should they lay a finger on her, they better hope they can fly fast, because I'm going to smack them if I ever catch up. And if they managed to carry her to the portal, she'll know that I'll be there to rescue her... and then resume the beatdown short thereafter.
The last part of the game, which I oddly never spoiled for myself due having done so for so many games I thought I would never play (like, I read up the entirety of Dead Rising, because I was initially unable to beat the game myself... although, several years later, I finally did, but that's another blog worth writing about), was one of the most amazing things I had the pleasure of witnessing. I guess there's no point to mention it since it's such an old game anyway, and I'm sure that many of you people have already experienced it, but I personally enjoyed the twists and turns of events, and although I had to look up a guide for several problematic areas I had trouble figuring out how to get past, I can say that I beat the final part of the game without any guide whatsoever, and despite how easy the game is, is something I'm proud of (plus, not having to go to Gamefaqs didn't ruin the immersion). Admittedly, it probably took me a lot longer than you to figure out how to get pass the final boss, but what can I say: I'm not the brightest individual out there (for one thing, I bought this game before I had a PS3, and had no means to play it).
Anyway, I'm glad that I finally was able to muster up the courage to try something that I've been putting off for so long, and it's now one more game to cross off my backlog... though, I hear that I'm supposed to play it again if I want to see what Yorda's words translated are, and I might head back to the creepy castle in the mist, but for now, I'm just glad that I finally got this game stored in my brain and heart; honestly, this was something that I might've sworn to finish before I died (perhaps that was the nagging feeling I've been experiencing? hope that isn't a sign that I'll die soon...) and, should I have fallen upon completion, I would say that that would've been a nice game to go out with since I don't have to wonder what the game is like anymore because I have played it myself.
Now... if only I could finally manage to put Ni no Kuni: The Wrath of the White Witch into my console; I've had it since launch (got that niffy steelbook case from my pre-order) and I never even made a save data. :P
Welcome to the final part of my blog about my favorite doujinshis based on videogames! If you're just joining up with me now, while not necessary, I do recommend reading the first part just to get you up to speed. In short, basically, besides my first two examples, the introduction tells you how casual I kind of am about pornography, and how I sometimes read hentai mangas as a sort of hobby. While, yes, I do get more than just a kick when I read these things, sometimes I do adore the story inside: sometimes it's the typical, romantic fluff, which is great in itself, and sometimes there's some elaborate stuff going on that you're thinking "wow, they've put way too much thought into this."
For the next two examples, I kind of think they went above and beyond what we expect from mere porn. Word of warning, though: the subject matter for the next game may be somewhat distasteful if you haven't come across (dat phrasing...) or enjoyed any porn videos that deals in rape and such. I know the very first example I gave had rape featured in it, but it was done in a more comical manner (not that rape isn't a serious subject), and it ended up being much more than a simple rape story considering the twist that happens (again, click that link above for the details of the story); for the next entry, rape is, rightfully, depicted in a much more darker manner. I gave my impressions of how I felt about the next story fits within the tone of the game within explaining the story itself, but if you want to skip it, the doujinshi after it is less taboo, and really, the one that inspired me to write this blog, so I hope to see you again after the detour.
Sinner's Soul: Chain of the Wedge (Dark Souls) Actual cover art this time!
Remember when I mentioned I used to write fanfiction? Yeah, one of those series I wanted to write was about Dark Souls, and, in planning out the plot, I had to look up tons of lore videos: see, Youtube already had a bunch of fans who put up videos of their intepretations of the game's lore, with tidbits and evidence from the actual game to support their theory. Now, because of that, I couldn't very well make up my own lore, especially since I didn't even find some of those clues they did, so instead, I used a mixture of my intepretation of the game mechanics and story, and fan's version of the universe, in order to come up with my version of what I think a character-focused Dark Souls narrative would be.
For that reason, I liked this particular entry of Demon's Souls doujinshi (which might be the only one to exist, at least to my knowledge) because it feels a lot like fanfiction: it uses characters that we know from the game, and they created a story that's not only befitting the tone of the game, but also incorporate some of the game's mechanics. First of all, while not bloody or containing any gore, the story is a bit darker than what I'm used to: in this world, just as the game is populated with griefing, newbie-killing players (at least Dark Souls was), this world is inhabited by people who abuse their ascension to power by killing anyone in their way, raping women (because of course they do) and just generally doing what they want in the midst of the world's ruin. One of the game's character, Yuria the Witch, becomes the victim of this tussle.
Not only is she gang-raped in front of her devoted protector, who is probably only left alive because performing the immoral act in front of someone dear to her is acting as a sort of ectasty to the corrupted men, but she then becomes one of the man's sex slaves to satisfy his desire. But while he praises her pretty face, he's not fine with such a slim, tiny girl, and instead, travels to the Nexus to seek the services (non-sexually, surprisingly) of the Maiden in Black. Like how players can use her powers to become strongers by fusing souls into their own, the man wants to combine Yuria's soul with that of a demon, which would contort her body into a pleasure-heightening vessel (essentially putting more junk in her trunk). Yuria, naturally, refuses to become something she wants to save the world from, but she's forced into it aginst her will.
To be honest, if I expected anyone from Demon's Souls to have a doujinshi, it'd be her...
But after she's been forced into incorporating the soul of a demon into her own, she soon stops being forced into sexual slavery: her mind broken from all the sex, though the translation also hints that the demon's soul might be corrupting her as well as the man's constant verbal abuse, Yuria not only accepts her fate as a sex slave, but she also finds pleasure in it now because she thinks this is her way of being able to help the people of this world since her abilities as a witch were, apparently, lacking and she thinks being a sex slave is a better way to serve the people. Of course, it's been a long while since she's been abducted, so guess whose skills with a blade have been lacking as a result of all the sex? Her master, who is promptly attacked by a mysterious black knight who kills the man's underlings and sucks his soul out of his body. As this black knight comes at her (pun unintended), Yuria offers him her body, but the man refuses, saying that he has come for her: turns out, this man was the soft-hearted protector early in the story, and when she realizes this after he apologizes for being late, she starts tearing up.
So, good ending, right? Nope: turns out, in the effort to become strong enough to save Yuria, he has lost himself, and became a brutal, cold hearted, killer that has become corrupted like the others in this story who ascended in power. In fact, to make the similarities more apt, he doesn't actually save her as he does take her as his own sex slave: he even tells her that she is his property now, and that he will take her by force if he has to. While Yuria was kind of on the edge of being "saved" (internally, I mean: she finds her hero too kind that she felt didn't deserve his kindness), and even becomes sane enough to ask for death so she no longer has to live as a demon... at his proclamation to force her to servicing him, she willingly accepts it, her broken soul now beyond repair as she thinks this is more acceptable to her.
Sounds pretty befitting for a Demon's Souls hentai, eh? A somber ending for such a somber story based on such a somber game: most of the art is even pretty dark in tone, even for a black-and-white color scheme, and clearly, demon Yuria is meant to exaggerate lust with her very plump portions, with her big ol' booty and her flopping breasts being just on par the Sorceress from Dragon's Crown. The atmosphere and tone of the story is pretty on point, especially as one tackled in many post-apocalyptic scenarios (I think Fallout 3 had some sort of harem with its devastated world since it's the best chance for survival for a woman, and Jacob's loyalty mission in Mass Effect 2, which features scientists on a stranded island, touches upon this as well) and, like I said, it works well even as fanfiction.
Kokui no Tenma (Darkstalkers) I actually bought a copy of this
Speaking of fanfiction once again, although I've entertained the idea numerous times, I never actually wrote a piece featuring my all-time favorite videogame character crush: Morrigan Aensland. I've mentioned how much of an influence she has on me as a gamer, despite never having played a Darkstalker game before (I'm limited to the rosters on Marvel vs. Capcom games) and although my attraction appears to be surface level (unlike this fellow Dtoider's reason), Morrigan Aensland has been one of my many inspirations for creative fuel, and in almost a non-sexual way: while I dare not divulge the details of my story, I really wanted to write a three-part epic that incorpates the meaning of love to a succubus, and what that entails to for the human who falls for her. This stems from personal thought because I've always wondered what being in a relationship with Morrigan Aensland would be like (I guess you could say I dream about it). I may touch upon this subject again in another blog, but for the context of this one, I just wanted you to know how much I find Morrigan Aensland both alluring and a source of inspiration.
Anyway, back to the subject of fanfiction, this doujinshi is, from what someone tells me, at least, a reimagining of Morrigan Aensland's past, and it's actually a pretty well written one; in fact, as a standalone comic book issue, it's pretty damn good! Sure, the art isn't the best out there... hell, it's doesn't turn me on that much (which would be a failure for something supposed to suit my horny habits)... but I really love the tale it weaves: in the intro, you see Morrigan Aensland residing in a church when these thugs comes in and starts shooting up the place. When the nuns duck for cover and pray for God to save them, Morrigan gets out of her seat and kills these men violently with her demonic powers; this prompts the nuns to now fear their savior, who walks away not only thankless, but called a monster.
Ruthless; Over in a Flash
The night still young enough to be enjoyed, outside the church lies a demon who wants incapacitate Morrigan Aensland, and when she seemingly isn't paying attention, he goes in for the kill. Just then, a keen eyed young man spots the assassin, and rushing in to save her from a stab from his sword: he shoves her aside to avoid the brunt of the attack, but she tells him she didn't need his help and pushes him aside to chase after the demon. However, she starts feeling weak, and, upon closer inspection, her hand is bloody from the wound she gets from the sword lunge earlier. She questions why she isn't healing quickly and starts guessing that the demon must have acquired a demonic blade, but her attention is quickly turned to the boy upon mentioning that he has called for an ambulance; fatigued, she tells him that she's going to take a nap, and should she wake in a hospital bed, she'll kill him. Not left with many options, he takes her home.
While she slept, for some odd reason, she has a dream of the boy's past: when he was a child, he used to steal food from the local shops. When he got caught stealing, he got beaten by the villagers... but all of it was worth it because, even if he didn't get as much as he takes, he still smuggles a tiny bit for his little sister back at home. The dream takes a nasty turn when the sister starts coughing up blood, suggesting she's seriously sick... Regardless, Morrigan wakes up, slightly confused as to her location, which the boy, who reveals his name to be Anburo (at least, what the translators said), tells her that she's in his home. Morrigan asks if he's the one who patched her up, and he tells her he did, only that he, evidently, didn't need to: her wound had recovered by the time he brought her home.
She plans to leave for a bit for a walk but she is still weak, stumbling onto to Anburo. In the arms that catches her, Morrigan finds out that, when he pushed her out of the way to avoid the sword earlier, he get nicked by the blade a bit. He tells her not to worry, as it wasn't as bad an injury as the one she substained, and she appears to do just that: she continues to leave for her walk. Just then, the sister of Anburo comes out to tell him that she doesn't think it was wise of him to get involved with this woman, and Morrigan eavesdrop on the conversation before finally making it back to her manor. There, she asks an old demon about the sword that she was stabbed with: he tells her that it's relatively harmless to her, as the only main boon of the blade is its magic-negating effect. However, when she asks what should happen if a human should be struck, the old demon reveals that they will eventually die within 15000 heartbeats.
I'm Friends with the Monster
With this in mind, Morrigan goes back to Anburo to reveal this tidbit about him dying to the curse of a demonic blade. Naturally, Anburo doesn't believe her, but with no time to beat around the bush, Morrigan reveals her true form, the costume we've all come to associate her with, to prove her point that demons exist (though he inteprets her as an angel). She then pushes Anburo to a nearby bed and proposes the following: he can either simply die wastefully, or he could give his soul to Morrigan, apparently making her more powerful, in exchange for some steamy succubus sex. Anburo asks if he's really going to die, but Morrigan tells him that all humans will die eventually, sealing in his decision by seducing him.
As you can guess, they have sex multiple times, and, eventually, it comes to an end as she finally absorbs the remains of his souls. More powerful, and more pissed off, than before, all the more notable since she's had on a straight, almost bored face throughout most of the manga, Morrigan goes out and ambushes the demon who tried to assassinate her earlier, and unleashes her full fury... though not before mentioning that their name was Morrigan Aensland. Meanwhile, back at Anburo's home, his sister eventually finds his dead body, and starts suspecting Morrigan as the cause for this sudden corpse. That's where the comic ends, unforunately, on a rather abrupt and melancholy note, but all in all, I found the entire plot to be pretty interesting, and I loved it. It's actually been a bit of inspiration for the story I wanted to write, that I mentioned earlier, so don't be surprised if there's some similarities (if I ever get around to making it and publicly releasing it).
Honorable Mention: Ico
Just be Friends
Not much to say now, since pretty much the reason I loved these hentai mangas are because of their story, which I summarized (if not outright retold) in detail, I still want to give an honorable mention to a series that I've always searched to see hentai of, but never produced satisfactory results. So why it on this list and not a separate one of other series of videogames I want to see hentai of when this blog is about doujinshi that has been made? Well, first of all, Rule 34 exists: although the quality is questionable, there is almost always porn of a series, and if it doesn't exist now, it just may later; there's no need for another blog based on what I want to see appear, since, eventually, it will. And second, the reason I wanted to mention it is because the image above is freakin' teasing me: I said I wanted a hentai manga of Ico, and who better to pull it off than an anime artist who drew the above image?
Now, I want to say, before you look up his other "works", that his subject matters are very questionable in content (for this, I withhold the online handle he uses on sites like Danbooru, just in case anyone starts looking him up and is horrifed). That being said, he's one of my favorite: I love his adorable art style, as you can see above, and he's definitely the one who should ever make a hentai manga of one of my favorite videogames ever. He's not always doing adult material, as some of his doujinshis looks pretty interesting, and safe for work, to read (I haven't come across many that are translated), but like I said, I think he's well suited to make something like this based on what he's done befpre. You may be asking why I would want to see hentai of Ico, of all things, and, well, guess what: my next blog is going to explain just that! It actually stems from a bit of my interest within the game and personality, so it goes a bit beyond the typical "I'm horny for her" excuse.
Anyway, that's pretty much it: I've been reading up translated doujinshi for many years (mostly original works), and these are honestly the best I've seen so far (based on videogames). In fact, I wanted to have a top 5 doujinshi blog, but I had trouble sifting through my favorites trying to find which ones are based on videogames and not animes, which ones are worth mention, and which ones are just good enough to satisfy base urges; most doujinshi based on videogames are really just porn with a bit of window dressing. I do kind of think I have something unique to bring to the table of the wonderous community potluck of the Dtoid family, so I'll try to keep an even bigger eye out when I peruse hentai sites (maybe this could even be somewhat of a series!), but I don't want to force nor promise anything. If you have any suggestions, or just wanna comment, feel free to say anything! :D
Due to the size (this is the longest I've ever written[/i]), I decided to separate this into two pieces so I don't overwhelm anybody with a huge load of text, pun intended due to the nature of this blog.
Videogames are almost essentially my life, as I assume it to be a good chunk of yours. For me, however, videogames are such a huge part of me that I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I never picked up a controller and started stomping on Goombas and chewing on 'shrooms. Videogames are on my mind even when I'm not playing, from me accessing articles and reading reviews to fraternizing on forums. Every now and then I would somehow relate my English paper with a videogame, and once or twice I've had a brief stint where I wrote a couple of embarassing fanfictions. One day, I hope to be developing, directing, writing, or all of the above, my own videogame, but that's a distant dream.
Now, I'm not saying I don't watch TV, or purchase a couple of anime DVDs every once in a while, but, point reiterated, I'm a huge fan of videogames, so it should be of no surprise to anyone that a lot of my porn search terms relate to videogames. For all my life, I guess I've always been more (though not completely) attracted to girls from animes and videogames than I do real ones, and as thus, most of the time when I need my fix, I type in the word "hentai" more often than I do "porn". However, I never really find "anime" hentai entertaining: the art style are often too crude for my taste, and the animations are seemingly low-budget and hardly, if ever, enticing. In fact, I get pretty turned off watching these types of adult content that I barely sit through the whole thing.
This actually happened to me once, but with my pants off
So, instead, I turn my attention more towards stationary images, but, while good in quality, are typically only good for poster pin-ups. That leaves me with my favorite type of adult-age appropriate content: hentai mangas. Hentai mangas fascincate me more because it has the same artistic quality that one sees in single illustrations, but they usually form a narrative. Sure, a lot of the time it's mainly your typical "people have sex" type scenarios, and the narrative feels like a string of sexual acts done in sometimes rapid succession, but sometimes there's a bit of heart in the story, and it can be sometimes endearing to experience. For this reason, I have adopted perusing translated hentai mangas as a tertiary hobby: sometimes I read so many that I actually have to take a break and wait for the next "wave" of them to appear.
This brings me to my blog, where I combine my two favorite hobbies and talk about my favorite hentai mangas based on videogames! I've read a bunch of these already (again, it's a hobby), but a lot of them are typically "I love you, let's have sex" or "let's rape these girls until they start going crazy" type scenarios; sometimes the girls they feature only vaguely resembles like some bad cosplay! However, the ones I've chosen for this blog are the ones that I find to be, even just a bit, more than the average gathering, and ones that I highly enjoy: in no particular order, these are my favorite hentai mangas based on videogames!
Now, perhap disappointingly, I don't intend to show anything graphic or start talking about how detailed a certain body part look because I want to keep this as safe for work as possible, despite the subject matter. I will also not provide any links. Otherwise, if there's something that should be editted out, I will do so. Also, some of these actually contain spoilers for their respective games, and I will alert you of them.
Monhan no Erohon 9 (Monster Hunter) Cover image not safe for work
I'll be honest: as much as I love the idea of the Monster Hunter series (the premise of gathering fellow hunters, hitting up the village to stock up on supplies before heading out to a designated hunting area to take down one of these gigantic beasts is the stuff of many fantasy dreams), I unforunately haven't played many of them: I could've, but a lot of times I would be hunting by myself due to lack of equipment, so I never wanted to invest in a solo experience; even now the 3DS game requires a Wii U to connect online, which mean, like when I didn't PS3 when I had a PSP and I wanted to adhoc, I still have to hunt alone.
That means I never played any of the games, and if there's another entry with online capabilities that I can access to, then I'll readily dive in. I'm assuming that there's no narrative between games, or if there is, then it's a loose one, so I'm not worried about missing any plot point; evidently, that doesn't really apply to the set of Monster Hunter doujinshi (hentai manga, in the context of this blog) out there. There's a particular series that are numbered (I think going on 15 at the time of writing?) that are linked together, with a brief summary of previous issues, though it generally seems like an oversaturated series of sex, using either different character in the same scenarios, or the same characters in a different one.
So why did I pick this one? Because I found the story a bit... touching, pun intended. Alright, first of all, I actually bought this issue (don't ask how much, I'm still "embarassed" at how much I spent) and it feels about as heavy as a regular graphic novel paperback for a reason: it's about 50 or so pages. However, while 40 of those pages are elicit content, the 10 remaining are dedicated to telling a different kind of plot, and I have to think that it might actually be a sequel to one of the older issues (I only read a couple of entries): the plot, plain and simple, is about a Monster Hunter who ran into a fellow hunter whom he raped before, and now wants to rape again. I know, I know, sounds like any other porn material, right?
At first, you don't succeed...
Here's the slight twist: before he could take advantage of her, two other guys comes in (pun unintended) and plan to rape this same woman by tricking her into going to a hunt with them, where they'll trap her in a desolate area. Not wanting his prize to be claimed by these "scumbags," the "hero" (I don't recall a name being given so we'll stick to calling him that) wants to tag along with in order to keep a close watch on her, but there's a problem: his armor is too familiar, as it is the same one he wore when he first raped the heroine, so he can't go with them unless he changes... and all that he has on him is a boar's head and a loincloth. Mmm... now there's something for the ladies...
Anyway, he tags along, and just as the hero suspects, the dastardly duo proceeds with the raping... but instead of joining in, the hero saves the girl by disabling them and leaving them to rot. Since he doesn't want to rape her now, most likely the dup ruining his mood, the hero decides to do it another day, and invites her to another hunt. She agrees, and the plan is set into motion... but like most plans, it doesn't go smoothly, and the hero finds himself... enjoying his hunts together with the girl, and fails to rape her. He keeps saying that he's going to do it, but again and again, he couldn't go through with it. Was he falling in love? Was the story going to end with a romantic tryst of love?
Does this answer that question?
Well, eventually, the guy works up the courage to rape her, and even does it in the armor he wore the first time he raped her. And, like your typical hentai, she lets herself get raped, and the guy takes it as a sign that she truly wanted it to happen, and acts accordingly. However, in what surprised me, she says that she doesn't really want it, and that she's only allowing him to do what he wants because she's heartbroken: turns out, she was falling for the guy as well, and she is sand and disappointed that this was only what he wanted. I don't really recall what happened right afterwards, you can assume what I had my mind occupied with, but I think it must've ended up with them admitting their feelings to one another.
After the hot, steamy action, you see the hero carrying the heroine on his back. Dazed and sleepy, the heroine wakes up and the hero, in that typical love clich'e where "the guy can't outright admit that he likes the girl", makes excuses to why he's carrying her: he doesn't want to wait for her to wake up because it would be an inconvenience. However, he says that, if she wants to, he wouldn't mind if she accompanies him while he go on hunts for material gathering, and wordlessly, she just snuggles up to him, smiling. Unforunately, they don't end up together, but you could see the influence she had on him at the end: after leaving the village, the hero teams up with his buddy to go on hunts, only this time, he traded his long sword for a lance, which is the same weapon type that the heroine uses. He makes excuses that he's only doing this because lance-users are more compatible with other Hunters, but I think there's more to it than that.
Anyway, while it doesn't necessarily use the Monster Hunter universe to tell its story, although there are references to the game like cooking foods, weaponry, monsters, and armor, I still found it to be above average when it comes to adult comics, and I really liked the simple, yet effective, story they had going on.
The Last Decision (Kid Icarus: Uprising) Cover art is actually unrelated to the game [Note: Spoilers for the game!]
Speaking of porn plots, as much as I would've enjoyed a Palutena x Pit storyline (there actually is one, but it's untranslated and I assume, by the pictures, that it's your typical "let's have sex" scenario)... what I like about this doujinshi is that it actually incorporates a bit of the actual story of the videogame, particularly the ending, and gives it a different context to the situation: just like at the end of the game, Pit takes on the head honcho of the evil things happening in the world, Hades, in a spectacular fight. However, just when things might be lost for the young lad, out of nowhere Medusa, the villian of previous games who is thought to be the main antagonist of this game, joins in the fight, saving Pit in the nick of time.
However, in the game proper, it's implied that Medusa only saved Pit because she believed that he is their best shot at taking down Hades, and that she contributes to his fight because she doesn't want to be Hades' puppet anymore (much like Megatron in Michael Bay's Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon, which features a different kind of explosions). Of course, in this perverse version of the tale, the doujinshi shows that somewhere during the story, Pit loses power to his wings and, being imprisoned, resides in Medusa's realm. To be honest, I tried to "catch up" with the story by searching for it online, but I was unable to find the translated version of the tale. Anyway, I assume she tells him that she harbors feelings towards the plucky young lad, telling him how jealous she is of Palutena that she has someone to depend on, and, of course, proceeds to have sex with him.
Yes, they start doing it, and it still seems like your typical "let's have sex" scenario, but I liked how the author/writer changes the context of her appearance at the end of the game with this "what if" scenario: now, instead of Medusa saving Pit in order to benefit herself with the fall of Hades, she fell in love with the angelic hero and is now risking her life to save him, just as Pit does for her. I would kind of compare this to the way Dead Rising 2: Off the Record provided a different context for story: even though they do essentially the same thing, in DR2 proper, Chuck Greene is investigating the conspiracy to clear his name, whereas in DR2: Off the Record, Frank West is merely trying to reach the heights of fame and fortune once again.
Art's a little awkward and funny looking, but that didn't ruin the scene to me
And like the ending of both aforementioned games, the ending is also different as a result: in the actual videogame, Pit takes down Hades with a powerful force, and he soars through the sky triumphant of his recent victory of the big baddie before reporting back to Palutena to continue to be her servant. In the doujinshi, while he's still successful in his battle with Hades, Medusa and Pit both fall in battle, and Palutena is unable to resurrect either of them... at least, not as who they once were. With her magic, she restores Dark Pit's flying abilities so he could take over Pit's duty while he and Medusa, both now mortal and human, spend the rest of their lives together... and most likely as a couple, considering that they slept with each other previously, despite their age difference (the ending has Medusa waking Pit up for breakfast, and you see him gorging on food while Medusa watches with a smile, kind of like a mother/son type thing).
Like I said earlier, I felt like this blog was going to be too big for anyone to read, so I'll be posting part 2 on another day. Besides, I only have 4 doujinshi in particular I want to talk about, and this is a good a place to cut it in half (this paragraph is actually an edit): not only are these the two that I liked but not as much as the others, they also kind of light in tone, and even have a happish ending to them. In the next two doujinshi, the next entry is pretty dark (though not the worst I've seen) and neither of them ends on a happy note, but I really loved their stories, so I can't wait to post about it! Anyway, until then, fellow Dtoiders!
Nah, I ain't bitter because Telltale's The Walking Dead: 400 Days won Destructoid's DLC of the Year. And no, I ain't not sour that it didn't even make it to the top three choices of the community poll. After all, we each have our own opinion, and we should respect that, so again: no, I ain't holding no grudges that Mass Effect 3's Citadel isn't getting the love and recognition I think it deserved (that's a triple negative by the way... take that as you will).
No, what I am obsessed about is how little I described why I love this piece of downloadable content... no way is the short comment I posted on that link gonna cut it. That brings us to this blog post, which is not about why I believe Citadel is DLC of the year to you all, but rather, why Citadel is not only DLC of the year to me, but also the best damn DLC I ever had the fortune to played, even if it was a bit pricey at 15 dollars.
[b]However, I must warn you that, in order for me to go on why I love this DLC, I have to spoil not only Mass Effect in general, in both the series and Citadel DLC, but I might also have to spoil an anime called Angel Beats! a bit. If it sounds unrelated, I can see why it may seem that way, but stick with me and I'll explain it all in detail; I promise it'll not only come together, but is essential to the blog.
Anyway, I recommend vacating this blog if you don't want anything spoiled. For those who continuing on, whether you played Mass Effect, seen Angel Beats!, experienced one and don't intend to experience the other, or simply just don't give a fuck... well, I'll get started.[/b]
I got into Angel Beats! out of a combination of curiosity and prestige: not only did the anime have gorgeous visuals, interesting characters, and an emotionally gripping plot, it is also an original animation written by Jun Maeda. For those of you who don't know, Jun Maeda is a writer of a company called Key who is involved and credited with critically acclaimed visual novels such as Air, Kanon, and Clannad, which have spawned anime adaptations that are among my list of favorite animes. These animes are famous for their emotional plots, making you feel for the characters and wanting to know their backstories as well as their eventual fates.
This prompted me, out of obligation even, to check out the first episode, and I'm glad I did: it was amazingly good, dreamlike in essence, and honestly my favorite single anime episode out of all I've seen ever, bar frickin' none. Most animes I enjoy are because of how well it builds up a story or twist typical anime tropes, like Puella Magi Madoka Magica, but never before did a single episode resonated with me so well, and while I didn't like all the episodes, the anime is still one of my personal favorites. I even imported the first Blu-Ray volume, which costs way too much money (if you're still with me, I have to mention all this; it will come into play very soon), just to have it on disc in case the anime didn't localize.
However, as much as it feels like I'm praising it, one dreadfully unforunate criticism of Angel Beats!, which seems to be the general consensus amongst fans, is that the anime is too short: clocking in at 13 episodes, it's not as short as, say, FLCL and Devil May Cry, but for an anime that features about a dozen characters, and whose main hook is investing you into them, it's woefully too inadequet to delve into everyone's backstories, meaning that some characters have to take a backseat to others. Not only that, near the end of the anime, almost all the characters are gone, and in the final episode only four of the dozen or so remain. That didn't stop the ending from being so bittersweet, as it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of it.
Rain Over Me
I only imported the first volume of Angel Beats because getting them all was mad expensive: I think it was 80 bucks, USD, for a single volume containing two episodes. Yes, two episodes per $80 volume, and this is a half season anime: 12 episodes into six discs equals out to over $900, and don't even get me started on shipping... so yeah, I only bought the one volume. However much I liked the anime, there was no way I was gonna spend that much, especially if it does localize into the U.S. and sell for cheaper (in fact, Amazon now lists it for 40 bucks, which has all the episodes for half of what I paid for that one volume). However, one thing stuck out to me: if there was 13 episodes, and the second-to-last volume had episode 11 and 12, would episode 13 be released by itself?
Nope: the final volume of the anime contained episode 13 and a special, 20 or so minute OVA (original video animation, which is typically used to say "special episode" or short movie). Now, anyone's initial presumption of this new "OVA" is that it's probably going to be an epilogue of the series, especially since it's meant to be seen after the tear-jerking conclusion that's very open to interpretation, so fans, like me, assumed that this will answer any questions we may have lingering around. Yeah, the director of the anime didn't do that... in fact, it did something I didn't even expect: the OVA takes place not after the series, but right in the middle of it. That's like serving the last part of dessert, like the remains of a chocolate-filled waffle cone of a Nestle Drumstick, right after appetizers but before the main course.
And it was genius.
See, as I said earlier, Angel Beats, like other works written by Jun Maeda, focuses on two things: emotion and characters. Around the halfway point of the anime, things start a very serious turn, and it eventually escalades into something borderline depressing; the anime practically ends with the main character ending up all alone. This is where the magic of the oddly placed OVA works its wonder: by taking place before all the serious stuff goes down, and during a time that most characters are still around (characters drop from the series as it continues forward), the OVA is emotional in a completely different way: it wasn't meant to make us cry because it was so dark and depressing... it was meant to make us cry because it gave us the chance to see the characters that we became invested in so full of life one final time, in glorious celebration. Sound... familiar?
With You, Friends
This is why Mass Effect 3: Citadel resonated so much to me: just like the special OVA episode of Angel Beats, Citadel tales place before the final events of the game, but is still recommended that you play it afterwards because it doesn't serve as the epilogue to the series (which many of us would have wanted with the... severely mixed opinions about Mass Effect 3's ending), but rather, the "farewell" to the series I've come to enjoy and the characters I know and love. Although, chronologically, it's not the end of the game, Citadel is the last thing you're supposed to play, and thank goodness: I always love to end things with a bang.
Despite both series having some serious plotlines go down a dark path, from Angel Beats! main characters getting massacred to Mass Effect's issues with the Genophage, these special episodes, Citadel and episode "14" of Angel Beats!, are a light-hearted romp, absurd in tone and plot: the latter is about a group of kids trying to create chaos by "acting out" in class with "high tension", or less suffer their leader's wrath by being forced to starve for a week, while the former is about chasing down a clone of the legandary Commander Shepard who's trying to kill you and take your glory. Mass Effect 3's Citadel is not only the funniest part of the series, but it's a chance for developers to really poke fun at the community and themselves.
Lots of fandom, from memes being used to self-references of gameplay mechanics, are used in abundance in Citadel. When your clone claims to be a better Shepard than you and you respond "Conrad Verner is a better Shepard than you!", you can tell the developers had fun writing this. When your clone traps you in an airlock and walks away saying your signature, conversation ending line ("I should go"), the look on your version of Shepard's is priceless, and the resulting jokes from your teammates are great (paraphrasing: "Why didn't you tell me it sound weird of me to say that?" - Shepard; "I thought that was something all humans say when they leave the room." - Wrex). When someone says "too bad you can't bring everyone on a mission with you" and Spehard says "why not?" and invites the whole Mass Effect 3 Squad along, it was such a tongue-in-cheek moment.
Hell Yeah, Fucking Right!
Although, in actuality, you don't get to roll with them side-by-side, each separating to cover different entrances and routes, but at least you can see them as you make your way through the level. But seeing isn't as cool as listening: the banter between these groups of people are frickin' hilarious. The team divides into two groups, Team Hammerhead and Team Mako, named after the controversial vehicles of the series, which creates a budding rivalry: get ready to hear them bragging about their accuracy and head count while criticizing others for theirs. The developers even pokes fun at their gameplay mechanic once more: when you are asked to only take two Squadmates with you in the final fight, you select them like normal... but before you deploy, the rest of your squad looks at you with pleading eyes. "What?" Shepard will ask. "It's just... I kinda wanted to go," James would reply. Sorry, buddy, but Wrex is taking his spot back.
Wait, wait, wait, hold up... did I just say motherfuckin' Wrex!? Yes, Wrex, my favorite Krogan in the series, is back not as some important cameo role, but as a temporary Squadmate! When I first played through the series, the only two characters I used in the first game were Garrus and Wrex, and while I substituted him for Grunt in Mass Effect 2, and James Vega (who I kind of liked, but ain't no Krogan) in the sequel, it felt so good to me to finally get the original group back together. Speaking of getting the group back together, this DLC not only reunites me with my Mass Effect 1 homie, but it also allowed me to get better acquainted with my Mass Effect 2 Squadmates. I tell you, even the scenes where we're just chilling together, like playing arcade games with Jacob or watching a romance movie with Tali, brought along sentimental feelings.
But there's no better way of getting reacquainted than throwing a frickin' party (as Grunt can attest)! Arguably the best part of the DLC, all of your Squadmates throughout the game, besides Legion (which is unfair considering that I feel he always get shafted in the series), are back, in one way or another, for one last hurrah to get drunk, get crazy, and get stupid. You'll see them do push-up competitions, converse ways to booby trap Shepard's apartment, watch Grunt deny outside partygoers entry (this one being my second favorite moment involving Grunt; I think you know which is my favorite), and even see characters trying to hook up with others; you might even get a one night stand yourself (though not with yourself, which would be cool since this DLC is about a clone... damn, what a missed opportunity)! The morning after is also wonderfully funny: seeing the results of an awesome party with people with hangovers crashing on the couch and washing themselves in the shower is a nice touch.
Night of Your Life
But the best touch of them all is everyone gathering together for a group photo at the end. It brings tears to my eyes to see us all huddle up one last time, knowing that this might be the last time we see any of them. With the series moving out of the Shepard trilogy, there's a good chance that newcomers will take over as Squadmates, and older character are presumably only lucky to appear as cameo, if even. That may be a shame, but it might be for the better: we may have invested in these characters, but that doesn't mean we can't invest in others, and care about them. Still, I won't forget these people, and that still image of us huddling around the camera will burn brightly in my mind until then.
Ding ding ding! Once you hear that bell, you immediately divert your attention away from the drink in your hands and look towards the source, where you see the bartender cup their hands around their mouths. "Last call!" they would say, and the crowd would boo them for putting an end to their fun. Not satisfied with the drink in your hand, since it's almost empty and you haven't had enough, you approach the counter to order another couple of shots for your friends, perhaps even an entire bottle of the stuff when... all of a sudden, you bump into someone else. Before you apologize, however, you black out: one second you struggling for the words to say, the next you're on the ground struggling to get up.
The next time you come back to the bar, you're a bit iffy: who was the guy that knocked you out, and will they be here again? Your friends don't know who hit you, and everyone was so busy asking if you're okay that they didn't see the guy walking away. So now, you're paranoid, and you start eyeing the people at the counter, wondering who it could be. You don't know for sure who it is, but you now know one thing: you're now going to keep an eye out for people who you just don't want to mess with at a bar.
This didn't happen to me or anyone I know personally, but I was joking about how I wouldn't want to mess with a certain videogame character at a bar, and then I thought: who else scares the hell of me should I face them? So now, I present to you, my list of the top 5 people I wouldn't want to get into a bar fight with! My only requirements must be that they: a) are able to physically fight, b) are the sort of people who would traverse a tavern, and c) are human "enough".
Ready to see if any of your characters made it? Read on!
Warning: Spoilers for videogames may follow in order to make my case of the list. While I'll try to keep it at a minimum, some spoilers are necessary. You have been warned once and I'm too lazy to do it again.
Number 5: Bo Rai Cho (Mortal Kombat series) The big-bellied boozer!
Let's start with his attire. Obviously, he's not wearing that get-up because he's trying to hit on the ladies with that sexy beard and ponytail... he's probably dabbles in martial arts, and anytime you sees an old martial artist drinking, that could only mean one of two things: either he's about to have an emotional breakdown, or he knows the drunken fist. And considering that his girth probably isn't all booze, meaning that he probably overeats to avoiding feeling bad about himself, I'm inclined to believe it's the latter.
Speaking of his weight, not only does it provide ample body armor against my fists, but if I somehow hit hard enough to penetrate through all that flab and fat, I'm probably going to hit hard enough to make him blow chucks, and trust me, I'm sure he's got plenty of fluids in the tank. Chances are, he's going to recover faster than I would, now that he got the alcohol out of his system before it disgested, and I'm probably busy puking up my own stomach at the moment from the smell, he's going to want to fight for real. You may think I have the upper hand, because he can't do the drunken fist without being drunk, but his body is actually fat enough to cause earthquakes when he walks (straight from his move list), tripping me up if I try to make my escape.
And if he does win against me, as a character from Mortal Kombat, he's probably going to crush me to death with that belly roll of his, or he's going to light his farts on fire and burn me alive... Neither of which is worth it, considering if I do happen to win, it'd be against the bar's regular (and obligatory) fat guy, and that's pretty much a defeat in itself.
Number 4: Frank West (Dead Rising series) The Frankfurter of the West!
Speaking of people with rising death tolls, let's talk about a guy who managed to survive a zombie-infested mall by using whatever he finds lying around to beat them to death with. Frank West is a photographer who, upon hearing about a big scoop doing down in Willamette Mall, goes in with nothing but his camera. Once he arrives and finds that zombies, out of all things, are rampaging throughout the building, Frank West doesn't cower in fear: he'll pick up a weapon, any weapon, whether it's as conventional as a pistol, as flashy as katana, or as unorthodox as a mannquin (they do a surprising amount of damage!), and not only charge head first into a horde of zombies and crazy psychopaths, but will even go out of way to save survivors.
Of course, at a mall, there are tons of things that regular average joes can find and use kill zombies with (since sporting goods stores stock firearms and Asian stores has more sharp blades than you could carry) but what sets this guy apart from the rest is that not only is Frank West badass enough to not only punches zombies in the face, but he can actually rip their guts out with his bare hands! Hell, he wouldn't wash his hands and still use them to chomb down a baguette in seconds flat! You wouldn't want to mess with this guy at a bar with tons of stools lying around; don't be surprised if he swings a jukebox at you!
Did I mention that he can shrug off being stabbed in the chest, bitten in the jugular, and shot in the face with a sniper rifle just by consuming alcohol... which a bar would be, no doubt, be full of?
Plus, there's that obligatory "he's covered wars, you know" meme that precedes him.
Number 3: Bigby (Fables/ The Wolf Among Us) The Bigby Bad Wolf!
Although, if we're talking about how one's reputation precedes them, then look no further than a badass version of the popular fairy tale antagonist "The Big Bad Wolf": Bigby is a man who lived for centuries because of his werewolf-like powers that he can summon when sufficiently angry enough. While he definitely isn't as powerful as the big green entity known as The Hulk, Bigby isn't some chump: he knows how to fight and hit hard in his regular, albeit assumably super-powered, human form, and his transformation is probably more deadly than becoming Super Saiyan.
Probably the only character to actually fight in a bar (depending on what you consider "fighting") in his game, Bigby showed the player ignorant of his comic book appearances in Fable (that I have not read, actually) just how powerful this guy is: he is brutal in his attacks, quick enough to avoid devastating damage and dish some out of his own, and smart enough to know how to use the enviroment against him. Not only that, at the end of the fight against Grendel, players controlling Bigby has the option to spare him mercy... or rip out his arm to make sure he learns never to mess with you again. Plus, he has the gall to return to the counter after messing up the bar and demand a drink like a true badass (though I may have ruined that image when I tried to pay for my drink and I already gave money away to a hooker).
In fact, the only reason he isn't higher is because his immortality is wholly dependent on how popular his legend is (so I've been told, feel free to correct me on this). Despite the convenience of technology, which allows records of stories to be more permanent, children aren't going on the internet to look up fairy tales: we all know what they're looking up, and although it hasn't happened yet, it nevertheless begins the slow decline of his legend...
Number 2: Jack Cayman (Anarchy Reigns) Jack, The Psychomaniac!
Let's be honest, if everyone on this list prior to him are sitting at the same bar, Jack Cayman is the last guy you want to mess with: Bo Rai Cho looks about as harmful as Barney from The Simpsons cartoon while Frank West seems too much like an average joe (especially in Dead Rising 2: Off the Record when he's balding and fat). While Bigby is, admittedly, pretty damn intimidating himself, especially being practically immortal, his biggest cause of fear is his transformation, and he isn't going to reveal that unless provoked. So, the big, burly, chainsaw-for-an-arm Chaser, who is essentially the equalivant of a U.S. Marshall (like Justified's Raylon Givens[/i]), takes the cake.
Let's talk about his chainsaw for a second: while the game never explains how he comes to have that equipped, we can pretty much assume that he lost his arm, which, given that he lives in a post apocalyptic world where giant monsters three times his size spring from underground in packs, means he probably knows how to use the damn thing. In fact, one of his executions involves impaling his chainsaw through the monster's brain (top that, Bigby!)! Adding to that, his chainsaw arm doesn't have one, but two blades, and although that's not really necesary (one blade is more than enough to slice off a limb, and if one blade can't cut through, I'm not sure why two of the same, exact type would), it shows just how serious he is about murdering you.
So why isn't he on top of this list? Well, like Bigby, he doesn't really do anything unless hired or provoked: from the title screen of Anarchy Reigns, you just see him at a bar chilling with a drink, using his cellphone to reply to some texts. Sure, he looks more intimidating than the other fighters in his game, from the stereotypical ninja, the Chinese sisters, and the old man in armor (only the pig eating bacon... yes, bacon, competes in "people you don't want to mess with"), but he's still a relatively nice guy: he was pretty nice to his daughter, even gave up smoking at her request, and he did spare the guy who "supposefully" murdered her (actually, I still don't know if he killed her since the only two pieces of evidence in the game contradict one another: Max himself says he didn't, but Stela's, Jack's daughter, profile said she was murdered by him).
Number 1: Trevor Philips (Grand Theft Auto V) The Trevor of Terror! The King of the Phil!
You know what's scary about deranged killers? They don't often look the part, and can act out before you even realize what's happening. Thus, the winner of this list is Trevor Philips, for his crazy antics and even crazier personality. While he looks like your typical "angry stepfather", which means you probably want to avoid him anyway, Trevor is quite the psychopath when prompted, being even more dangerous than what Frank West has to face: Trevor kills indiscrimately, jack cars, and gets into more shootouts than rival gangs; his "rampages" are him just going off on people who makes fun of him!
And that's just his daily activities! On occassions, he robs banks, tortures people not because it's necessary or because he was told, but because he wants to, and even rapes people and stuffed animals alike, the latter being penetrated by its eye hole (which actually brought back this disturbing memories of this one gory hentai image that I would rather not be reminded of... I suppose it's not the worst thing I've seen, but, I'll be honest, that may be because of my warped senses).
In fact, not only did the developers decide to introduce him to you properly by having his bare naked ass shown, but he also offs one of the main character of Grand Theft Auto IV just by smacking him with a beer bottle and stomping his head in; that alone makes him terrifying to fight in a bar with (and satisfies the requirement that he is able to physically fight, in case you thought I forget that tiny tidbit with my long winded explanation to his antics)!
And don't think you can snuff him out: whereas other characters on this list has a way to recover health, Trevor can not only recover by eating, drinking, or sleeping, but he can even turn invincible, making him invulnerable to any sort of damage. Even if you can take him out, the best healthcare in all of America is in Los Santos: he'll be back on his feet in hours no matter if he's shot in the face or blown to bits.
Honorable mention: Max Payne (Max Payne series)
There's no way I could resist putting Max Payne on the list. Although not a physical brawler in any real way, which wouldn't make him eligible for a list of bar fighters, he does have the advantage of being able to slow-motion dodge, and can actually weave between a hail of bullets. Health-wise, he can only take a few shots, and although he can dull the pain with painkillers, if he goes down, he needs to shoot someone to get back up: if anyone is smart enough to take cover, he's going down. That being said, his skills with a gun is amazing, and should I make a list about that, he would definitely rank high...
Hello there, fellow Dtoiders! I just wanted to whip up a quick blog to wish those who celebrate this jolly occasion a Merry Christmas and a happy holidays for the people who don't! I wanna say stay safe, be careful partying, and take this time to, in the words of T.I., "stop lookin' at what you ain't got, start being thankful for what you do got."
Yeah, yeah, not only is that not videogame-related, I just referenced a rapper most of you probably hate; hell, most of you probably hate rap in general (but I feel it would be inappropiate to start quoting songs from Brutal Legend or something). However the context, the words still ring true: appreciate what you have because who knows how long you'll have it? If you love your family, love your friends, and love your life, then take this time to just appreciate it while you're sitting by the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa (or, in my case, in front of the air conditioner unit with an ice cold Coke in my hands because it's still frickin' hot in sunny frickin' Florida).
Anyway, y'all probably wondering: just who is this guy wishing everyone a merry Christmas? Truth be told, while I've been around Destructoid for a while, having blogs that date back to '09, I never really been here: as Zuckerhund put it, I'm the Gordan Freemans of this site: the silent reader, the guy who goes to Dtoid for the news and watch the comments; it's only recently, like maybe a couple of months ago, that I've been actively commenting on stories, and only a couple of days ago I started trekking the community blogs for blogs other than my own.
Well, whatever: better late than never, right? I got into this site because I love the staff's personality, but really, it's the community that makes it shine. While I plan to "formally" introduce myself (I say "formally" because, let's be honest, you can tell by the way I type that I'm anything but) after New Years, a real quick explanation for why I want to be a part of this community is because I ain't too close with many people; this goes for my family and friends, and I loved you guys (from reading the comments) so much that I just wanted to be a part of all this.
Yeah, you probably see me in the comments section, trying hard to get attention, but I'm thankful that you guys haven't shunned me (yet, at least... though, hopefully never) and I appreciate y'all putting up with me and letting me be a part of this. Who knows, maybe I'll be a person we recognize on a dime like Benny Disco, Occam's Electric Toothrbush, Sephzilla, and the rest of you (can't name you all).
Until then, that's enough about me: Merry Christmas, happy holidays, stay safe, don't dress up like Santa Claus and ask kids to sit on your lap, and definitely don't be a victim of the former.