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53 minutes ago - 4:58 PM on 07.06.2015

Comments of the Week - Am I doing it right?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-231png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, y'all! Hm? What's that you say? You don't know what Comments of the Week is? Boy (or girl -- not sexist), quit playing dumb! You know this is a showcase of kooky comments that has been said by the community, compiled by me in one convenient spot for everyone to enjoy! So, whether you've been out doing something or simply want to relive the gay old times, then this is for you. As always, you can expect three categories:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: Knowledge is power!

[b]LOL[/b]: No, really, use that brain of yours to get rich!

[b]WUT?:[/b] Then become Batman.

Are you sad? I think that's because you missed last week's edition. If you want to get a little happy (or should I get, a little gay?), then [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-a-little-too-happy-295025.phtml]hop on over to this link[/url] to see what you missed!

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-her-story-294991.phtml]Review: Her Story [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-232png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-233png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-234png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If Flanx gets disappointed, IT'S ON YOU, LAURA!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/kojima-has-seen-mad-max-four-times-because-he-is-right-and-good-294987.phtml]Kojima has seen Mad Max four times because he is right and good [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-235png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-236png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...It's too true. 8^8 (tear drops, by the way).

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/valkyrie-drive-reveals-new-weaponized-lesbians-295050.phtml]Valkyrie Drive reveals new Weaponized Lesbians [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-237png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-238png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'd like to weaponize lesbians. With sex.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/why-you-can-t-be-female-in-the-legend-of-zelda-tri-force-heroes-295079.phtml]Why you can't be female in The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-239png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2310png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2311png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] What, you're telling me I can't be a black handicapped person who's deaf, speak Latin, and has three testicles!? Dammit Nintendo!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/shovel-knight-headed-to-retail-with-a-proper-instruction-manual-295082.phtml]Shovel Knight headed to retail with a proper instruction manual [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2312png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2313png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't even afford a Dinghy!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/a-fallout-4-character-is-now-in-fallout-shelter-295105.phtml]A Fallout 4 character is now in Fallout Shelter [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2314png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2315png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2316png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's a time paradox!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/uncharted-4-extended-trailer-drake-is-a-terminator-295135.phtml]Uncharted 4 extended trailer: Drake is a Terminator [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2317png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2318png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Why not? People bought [i]Destiny[/i] for full price. :3

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/bethesda-doesn-t-know-when-xbox-will-make-fallout-3-backwards-compatible-295197.phtml]Bethesda doesn't know when Xbox will make Fallout 3 backwards compatible [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2319png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2320png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2321png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Is that a recommendation, or an order?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/digital-extremes-has-its-lunch-stolen-and-its-new-game-leaked-295247.phtml]Digital Extremes has its lunch stolen and its new game leaked [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2322png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2323png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2324png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's true, he did.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2325png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The lunch was too valuable for Digital Extremes to leak, else other spies be coming.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-s-bill-trinen-set-to-compete-at-evo-2015-295296.phtml]Nintendo's Bill Trinen set to compete at EVO 2015 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2326png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2327png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] There's always a chance no matter how astronomically small it is!

...

Which I hope is also true for people with small penises.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/mario-looks-shiny-and-new-in-unreal-4-294930.phtml]Mario looks shiny and new in Unreal 4 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2328png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2329png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Are we talking about bong pipes?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/in-clumsy-god-helping-looks-a-lot-like-hurting-295028.phtml]In Clumsy God, helping looks a lot like hurting [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2330png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2331png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] HAND this man a prize!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/thomas-was-alone-action-figures-are-a-real-thing-295084.phtml]Thomas Was Alone action figures are a real thing [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2332png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2333png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Hey, they're ACTION foam cubes!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2334png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Good, the attention's off me...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2335png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I wished Handy made the "hand" comment earlier because he's so right for it :(

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/miiverse-is-getting-a-complete-overhaul-soon-295104.phtml]Miiverse is getting a complete overhaul soon [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2336png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2337png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] My personal favorite comment this week.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/humble-borderlands-bundle-adds-more-dlc-295115.phtml]Humble Borderlands Bundle adds more DLC [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2338png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2339png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's, like, the highest honor you can get.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/xbox-sony-does-a-really-good-job-in-mainland-europe--295168.phtml]Xbox: 'Sony does a really good job in mainland Europe' [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2340png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2341png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's true, he's not a business analyst.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/troy-baker-got-far-cry-4-gig-by-threatening-to-peel-a-ubisoft-assistant-s-face-off-295216.phtml]Troy Baker got Far Cry 4 gig by threatening to peel a Ubisoft assistant's face off [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2342png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2343png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I usually just say "U be soft, lol."

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2344png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I wonder how he got a gig at Destructoid?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2345png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He's always so underappreciated.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/iwata-on-e3-unlike-other-booths-most-of-our-visitors-were-smiling-295151.phtml]Iwata on E3: Unlike other booths, most of our visitors were smiling [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2346png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2347png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Racism will not be tolerated. Please understand.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2348png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2349png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Son of a bitch, I can't stop laughing.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-red-hood-dlc-pack-for-arkham-knight-is-disgustingly-short-295280.phtml]The Red Hood DLC pack for Arkham Knight is disgustingly short [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2350png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2351png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I see they've been speaking with my ex.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/give-6-to-help-kids-get-into-the-rainbow-six-siege-closed-beta-295304.phtml]Give $6 to help kids, get into the Rainbow Six Siege closed beta [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2352png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2353png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But if I help them, how will they learn to do it themselves?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/weekend-deals-wii-u-splatoon-bundle-buy-2-get-1-free-gamestop-used-game-sale-295299.phtml]Weekend Deals: Wii U Splatoon bundle & 'Buy 2 Get 1 Free' GameStop used game sale [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2354png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2355png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn it, Deadmoon87!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/reports-dragon-quest-vii-and-viii-coming-west-295346.phtml]Reports: Dragon Quest VII and VIII coming west [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2356png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2357png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2358png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Looks like she's on a [i]Dragon Quest[/i], am I right? ... Penis, she's hunting for penis.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/ubisoft-too-early-to-talk-beyond-good-evil-2-294933.phtml]Ubisoft: 'Too early' to talk Beyond Good & Evil 2 [/url][/b]

[b](Image stolen from... "provided" by Solar Pony Django)[/b]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2359jpg-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2360png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's only a matter of time before Sephzilla gets corrupted...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/so-people-are-really-into-this-final-fantasy-vii-remake-294997.phtml]So people are really into this Final Fantasy VII remake [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2361png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2362png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...You just HAD to ask!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-darksiders-ii-remaster-doesn-t-look-all-that-different-295016.phtml]The Darksiders II remaster doesn't look all that different [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2363png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2364png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2365png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Still getting a boner anyway. #darksiders2

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/i-m-hooked-on-this-fire-emblem-character-creator-295034.phtml]I'm hooked on this Fire Emblem character creator [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2366png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2367png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But she's my type!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2368png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Did it wait until you looked inside, or did it crawl up the urethra and attacked from the inside?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/heroes-of-the-storm-gets-the-butcher-today-after-maintenance-295040.phtml]Heroes of the Storm gets the Butcher today, after maintenance [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2369png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] A "corndog" is what I call a "penis urethra insertion" play. If I push hard enough, ketchup comes out.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/this-fallout-cosplay-proves-cats-are-better-than-dogs-295231.phtml]This Fallout cosplay proves cats are better than dogs [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2370png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2371png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's what keeps me up at night.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/fauxlusive-nookling-junction-dumps-trump-295189.phtml]Fauxlusive: Nookling Junction dumps Trump [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2372png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2373png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Only a superhero could write satire so good.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2374png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I wonder if the two comments are related.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/video-of-rare-sony-super-nintendo-prototype-295316.phtml]Video of rare Sony Super Nintendo prototype [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2375png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2376png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm surprised he didn't!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295467-2377png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm trying to figure out which "junk" is he talking about.

Alright you guys, that's it for this week! There's nothing left here to show, but don't forget to share your favorite comments down below whether I posted them here or not. I'm not everywhere you know!

  read


4:38 PM on 06.29.2015

Comments of the Week - A little too happy

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-221png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week! As you're all probably aware by now, this is a community showcase where I scour articles to find the best comments said by members of the site such as yourself. So, whether you've been down and out, too busy, or simply want to catch up on what was said while you weren't here, then this is for you. As always, comments will be placed into three categories:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: In some places, it is illegal to carry an ice cream come in your back pocket.

[b]LOL[/b]: Why is that even a rule?

[b]WUT?:[/b] Everyone keeps ice cream cones in their front pockets, duh.

If you missed [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-e3-2015-edition-294538.phtml]last week's E3 edition[/url], it's not to late to check it out! However, like penises, this edition will seem a LOT shorter in comparison, so unless size doesn't matter (bwahahahahaha!), maybe go visit the link after reading through this one.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/half-life-and-hotline-miami-mashup-half-line-miami-coming-soon-294496.phtml]Half-Life and Hotline Miami mashup Half-Line Miami coming soon [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-222png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-223png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Ya damn right, he is!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/eurocage-heavy-rain-beyond-two-souls-coming-to-ps4-294561.phtml]Eurocage: Heavy Rain, Beyond: Two Souls coming to PS4 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-224png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-225png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The dragon's actually a penis.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/fallout-4-dialing-back-graphics-runs-at-1080p-30fps-294558.phtml]Fallout 4 'dialing back' graphics, runs at 1080p/30fps [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-226png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-227png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, that escalated quickly.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/shenmue-3-needs-10-million-for-a-true-open-world-294627.phtml]Shenmue 3 needs $10 million for a true open world [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-228png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-229png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's what he calls his legs.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/you-can-easily-cut-off-content-in-deus-ex-mankind-divided-294632.phtml]You can easily cut off content in Deus Ex: Mankind Divided [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2210png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2211png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2212png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] These are dark times indeed.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/bungie-gets-salty-defending-destiny-s-expansion-price-294653.phtml]Bungie gets salty defending Destiny's expansion price [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2213png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2214png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I know, right? The heck's wrong with y'all, playing with microphones like that?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/standalone-ps1-style-dualshock-4-out-this-september-294673.phtml]Standalone PS1-style DualShock 4 out this September [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2215png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2216png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] When will it end!?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2217png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Another reason to emphasis "bring your own controller" nights.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/dwayne-johnson-is-doing-a-rampage-movie-294675.phtml]Dwayne Johnson is doing a Rampage movie [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2218png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2219png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't even front, I would literally cheer in a theatre if I saw that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/999-and-zero-escape-writer-s-new-game-coming-to-ps4-vita-294683.phtml]999 and Zero Escape writer's new game coming to PS4, Vita [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2220png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2221png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] To be fair, 97.69% of the people in that position would probably doom us all anyway.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2222png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Nailed it. With my meaty oar.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/arkham-knght-s-gude-mght-have-made-a-spellng-mstake-294710.phtml]Arkham Knght's gude mght have made a spellng mstake [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2223png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2224png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The night isn't silent. The night is when people have sex, and porn taught me that if sex is quiet, someone is doing something wrong.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-is-making-it-harder-to-get-around-miiverse-account-restrictions-294739.phtml]Nintendo is making it harder to get around Miiverse account restrictions [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2225png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2226png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Porn is the necessity of life. That's how we can put up having sex with ugly people.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/yoshi-s-woolly-world-amiibo-allocation-hits-a-bump-in-france-294548.phtml]Yoshi's Woolly World amiibo allocation hits a bump in France [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2227png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2228png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] In related news, Mothra was seen returning to the home of crazed amiibo fanatic ChillyBilly, who was quoted whilst petting the monster's head "if I can't have the amiibos right now, NO ONE can!"

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-announced-a-new-metroid-so-we-gave-zack-a-haircut-294557.phtml]Nintendo announced a new Metroid so we gave Zack a haircut [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2229png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2230png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2231png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Brazzers? Mo like bro-zzers!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2232png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2233png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I don't know what the heck happened here, but I quite possibly like it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/this-will-be-a-nice-eulogy-for-batman-if-he-dies-in-arkham-knight-294590.phtml]This will be a nice eulogy for Batman if he dies in Arkham Knight [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2234png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2235png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'd take a bite outta that crime!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/warner-bros-strikes-again-batman-arkham-knight-having-issues-on-pc-294644.phtml]Warner Bros. strikes again: Batman: Arkham Knight having issues on PC [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2236png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2237png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's what I tried telling my parents about my report card with all F's.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/gamestop-opens-up-sales-for-retro-classics--294663.phtml]GameStop opens up sales for 'retro classics' [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2238png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2239png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He wasn't asking.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/more-fallout-4-pip-boy-editions-are-on-sale-at-amazon--294737.phtml]More Fallout 4 Pip-Boy editions are on sale at Amazon! [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2240png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2241png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] This carp is angry, y'all!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/batman-arkham-knight-sales-stopped-on-steam-294756.phtml]Batman: Arkham Knight sales stopped on Steam [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2242png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2243png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You can't top that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/xcom-2-s-mission-gameplay-looks-gooooood-294783.phtml]XCOM 2's mission gameplay looks gooooood [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2244png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2245png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, lefty loosey, right tighty.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-batman-arkham-knight-294804.phtml]Review: Batman: Arkham Knight [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2246png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2247png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2248png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] How did we not see this before!?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/surprise-nomura-didn-t-know-he-was-directing-final-fantasy-vii-remake-294825.phtml]Surprise! Nomura didn't know he was directing Final Fantasy VII remake [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2249png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2250png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Have you tried Sudoku? It's a lot like killing yourself.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/friday-night-fights-today-is-awesome-294889.phtml]Friday Night Fights - Today is Awesome [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2251png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2252png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] "The fuck it isn't." - Andy Dixon.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/everything-is-your-dad-in-the-new-dad-by-the-sword-trailer-294555.phtml]Everything is your dad in the new Dad by the Sword trailer [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2253png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2254png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But who's the father!? This is SO going to be on [i]Jerry Springer[/i].

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-most-unrealistic-thing-that-has-ever-happened-in-a-video-game-294564.phtml]The most unrealistic thing that has ever happened in a video game [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2255png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2256png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] "guitar gently strumming..." That's a penis joke, isn't it?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nis-gets-creepy-with-new-teaser-294655.phtml]NIS gets creepy with new teaser [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2257png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2258png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I like to think every time I masturbate, there's a hot chick in the world masturbating at the same time, so we're having some cosmic sex.

Then I'd finish first and she'll feel inexplicitly disappointed for some reason.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/you-drank-our-milkshake-dtoid-com-e3-stats-294705.phtml]You drank our milkshake: Dtoid.com E3 stats [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2259png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2260png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm still trying to figure out if he's tilting his head to the left or the right... or not at all.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sticking-a-morpheus-on-my-face-was-pretty-cool-294714.phtml]Sticking a Morpheus on my face was pretty cool [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2261png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2262png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2263png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's creepy on 27 levels, yet arousing on 32 levels.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/which-vr-headset-will-win-porn-has-already-decided-294807.phtml]Which VR headset will win? Porn has already decided [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2264png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2265png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Occums.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-the-controller-shop-custom-dualshock-4-294831.phtml]Review: The Controller Shop custom DualShock 4 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2266png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2267png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You didn't want to anyway.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2268png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, what else is a Vita good for? :3

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/introducing-the-xbox-one-for-women-294709.phtml]Introducing the Xbox One for women [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2269png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-295025-2270png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't even come up with a joke to top that.

So I guess Occams wins this round! Tune in next time, maybe I will succeed where others have failed!

  read


3:28 PM on 06.28.2015

Let's get a little gay (hentai) in here (NSFW!)

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap0jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Hi, everybody! As you may have heard, there's recently been a ruling from the United States Supreme Court that same-sex marriage should be, and is, a right for all citizens nationwide. I'd say that'd be a cause for celebration, so I figured why not do what I do best: make porn blogs! I told fellow Dtoider that I would one day do a same-sex shota blog, and this seems like the perfect time for one! More than 95% of this blog will feature images of cute, little boys (that may be having sex with guys!) that I want to share with you all!

Wait, "more than 95%"? Yeah, since this genre of porn jumped the list of the order of stuff I originally wanted to talk about, I just want to dedicated a quick blurb about one of my favorite, not-entirely-straight-but-still-not-actually-gay image. I know, I know, I'm putting my enjoyment before yours, I'm sorry. Just bear with me for a bit (or simply skip ahead: it's a blog, remember?), then we'll get right down to it!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

This is actually one of my favorite images of Tifa Lockhart from [i]Final Fantasy VII[/i], and it's not [b]hard[/b] to see why (see what I did there? YOU SEE IT!?). Everyone's got these big, juicy, meaty, veiny dicks just hanging around, including Tifa herself... as if you didn't notice! I mean, just look at it! LOOK AT IT!

So, here's a few things I like about this picture in particular. First off, the look on Tifa's face is simply adorable. It's like these big cocks just came out of literally nowhere and she's like all "oh, well, this is a nice surprise." Secondly, her balls are pleasantly smooth, and they look big enough to use as speed bags that you see in gyms. Third, everyone is so huge and hung that they're actually bigger than her frickin' arm.

My absolute favorite part though? Her rock hard abs. Seriously, her entire body looks like they're tough to touch (beside her boobs, thank goodness) but her core could crack walnuts when she crunches. Normally, I'm into facials because it combines two things I love: a woman's face and cum. However, if I was about to cum on this Tifa's body, it would have to be on her abs. I don't know why, but it's like it's so muscular that licking with my tongue would be licking a table, and that excites me.

Maybe a little too much. Okay, my erection's gone now. We can move on.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap2jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Alright, this is more in line of what you can expect the rest of the blog to look like. This is one of my favorite trap images because damn, does he look good! Seriously, the feminine looking face, the beauty mark just below the eye, the way he pushes his hair back when he's sucking cock... all of it is just so delicious! He even has the gel bracelets, which, according to "urban legend," denotes what a person is willing to do in terms of sexual acts.

Only two though? Tsk tsk, because I can already think of more than a couple things I'd do to him.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap3jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Okay, without seeing a penis, most trap anime images could double for girls. However, since more traps are drawn as girls, you kind of have to take it on blind faith that that's a guy. And he's about to get fucked by penguins. What's interesting is that I have no idea where their penises come from: I mean, the big penguin, in more ways than one :P, has his penis right about the crotch area, but the others aren't visible until the bukkake section.

I don't know why, but clothed bukkake just seems more interesting than naked bukkakes. I wonder how difficult would that be to wash cum off clothes? Like, would all the cum just fling to the other clothes in the washer? Remind me not to share a "(laundry) load" with anyone else if I try that!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap4jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Look at all that money on the bed. You know one of them is paying the other for sex (we don't know for certain who; maybe the big guy's gay for pay or something) and it looks like they plan to go all night! There's something about guys wearing feminine underwear that seems so intriguing. I mean, I probably wouldn't put on a pair of panties myself, but I imagine it must be easier to get an erection when it's rubbing against a silky, lacey lingerie.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap5jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Here's something for the cat lovers! You know, normally an image like this would too vanilla for something for me to enjoy (there's no cum from the cat guy's dick, and you can BARELY see the one shoved into his ass... not that you could since I had to censor it, but still), but I can't get over how this guy's body is so surprisingly smooth. Like, I just want to rub my hands all over him. He's also quivering like a cat; I hope he purrs!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap6jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

And here's something for the cheerleaders, who is always right there when you need her! Why yes, I do love the song "Cheerleader (Felix Jaehn remix)" by OMI... Screw you.

Anyway, I like traps that kind of cover up their privates despite wearing really skimpy outfits (you TEASE!) and I like how he went from "no, no, please don't stare at it, this is TOO embarrassing!" (despite just having anal sex) to needing to wipe his chin from the cum dribbling down.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap7jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

"Illegal, immoral, and deliciously decadent." Wow, they really know how to sell a sex joint. Think they'll give me their contact info?

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap8jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

To be honest, I don't really like the art behind this image. I only included it because I like the idea of it.

I mean, the guy is shoving a dildo in his ass to squirt his cum into a machine that will redirect it through the dildo he's shoving into his mouth, thereby making him horny enough to cum again. It's like a cycle of cum. If that's not cool, I don't know what is.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap9jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

This is one of those "take your pick" images where you get this fine selection of characters to jack off to. I know we can all just cum over all of them, but if you were placed in that situation, and you could only pick one to sex, which one will you take? The sharp-teeth fellow on the left opening his backdoor for more? The blonde in the middle with sexy lingerie and tan lines (who kinda reminds me of Bianca from [i]Dragon Quest[/i], who I honestly only know because porn)? Or the one on the right who most likely doesn't give a fuck whether you fuck him or not? Please answer the question in the comments below with #takeyourpick!

Personally, I'd go for the one on the right. He's pretty scene, and I bet he knows how to use that gum as a condom.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap10jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Either that's one really huge son of a bitch, or that's a short, tiny fella. Or maybe both. Either way, the guy sucking is actually rather hung for a trap, and his balls are really hanging in there. His anus is also really puckering those anal beads.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap11jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

I like this image because of how adorable he looks. I mean, he's in the bath yet wearing some lacey lingerie, his balls are in some fancy looking female jock strap, he has pink hair with a flower clip in it, he has a rhinestone necklace, and a whole pack of condoms because he knows he's going to get some.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap15jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Well, that's one way to use a selfie stick.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap12jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]

That guy looks like he's on the verge of snapping. *grabs popcorn* Let's watch.

I kind of like it when people start losing their minds a bit when they're so sexually deprived. I feel like the image would be better if he was drawn with crazier eyes though, since right now he just looks more adorable than horny as fuck. I mean, if he's laughing every couple of seconds and using so many exclamation marks, he has to be desperate for a fucking.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap13jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Man, do I love me some bestiality. We'll get to that one day (with females), so for now, here's another sneak peek. Most Pokemon Breeder porn stars women because of the whole pesky "pregnancy" thing, but it's nice to see that guys can get in on some of the fun! In case you can't see it, he isn't tied up and raped. In fact, he's actually spreading out his butt cheeks to allow those bigger, albeit funny looking, penises inside of him! I also like the way the cum is just sticking everywhere; that's my favorite thing about cum.

I also like seeing cum dripping out of his dick to land in his own mouth.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap14jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]

This isn't guy specific (since, you know, some hentai chicks have dicks too) but I like seeing condoms being filled with cum. It combines my child-like pleasantries of water balloons, and my perverted need to incorporate sex into everything. Is there a cum balloon fight somewhere out in the internet? Of course there is, it's the internet.

I believe there's money in that guy's stockings. Did people tip him to cum in front of them? That's pretty hot.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap16jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]

You know what's weird? There's a guy with a huge dick. There's another guy who loves having a gaping asshole so filled with cum that it's dripping down his scrotum that he sticks his tongue out as though [i]begging[/i] to suck dick. Yet the one thing my eyes immediately goes to everytime I look at this picture is his underwear. Like, I've never seen a pair like that before. It's so oddly colored.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap17jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Okay, tell me what you think: does the guy on the left has that look on his face because he's about to orgasm, or because he's suddenly regrets not taking the other guy from behind because now he's about to have cum splattered across his face. Kind of like he's saying "oh shoot, I did NOT think this through!" Head on the comments down below and voice your thoughts with #whatdo!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap18jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Okay, this isn't hentai, at least to my knowledge, but I kind of like the image so let's just forget rules for a second and just enjoy this guy who got fucked so hard that his ass is gaping. You can't see it, but I like the way the cum is dripping down his exposed anus like a sink drain, and if you look carefully, you can see the cum on the white part of the blanket.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap20jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap21jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]

Come on, you just KNOW Bridget from [i]Guilty Gear[/i] was going to show up eventually! Surprisingly, I don't really have too many images of Bridget of having hardcore sex (just [i]two[/i] guys? Come on, even a gangbang's just a Tuesday to me) so you'll just have to settle for a good ol' fashion "suck and fuck." At least the penises are drawn pretty well, and the collar around the neck is a pretty nice touch. I wonder... without the head gear, would anyone even know that was Bridget?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-294951-Dtoidtrap19jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

While he's not my favorite artist (I wanted to dedicate an entire blog some of my favorite images of the works of the one who is though) I like this guy because he draws some pretty fucked up mess. This one's relatively tame though: one horny fella with a tramp stamp is shot up with so much drugs, just look at the pill in his mouth and all the needle shots in his arm, that he's horny enough to hump with this jelly looking sex doll. At least, I [i]think[/i] that's a sex doll. Like I said, this guy is pretty disturbed.

Yet still not the most disturbing works I've seen, in case you were wondering. Still, I'd probably remove the anal beads and join in.

Alright, you guys, I hope you had fun with this change in pace! It's not something I would do often, especially since, if I could, I'd talk about all kinds of porn... but maybe one day I'll come back and do another one of these! As always, I hope you enjoyed my blog!

  read


4:24 PM on 06.21.2015

Comments of the Week - E3 2015 Edition

Welcome back to Comments of the Week! This is a somewhat special edition of the usual series because all of the comments being featured today were said during the week of E3. "But wait!" you may say, "What exactly is Comments of the Week?"

Well, if you're asking that, then you've been missing out! Comments of the Week is a showcase where I scout out the very best comments said by the community, then compile them all together in one convenient spot. So, whether you missed out on all the fun, or simply want to relive some great moments, then this is for you. As always, these comments will be placed into three categories.

TRUTH: When you can't deny what's been said.

LOL: When you can't resist laughing 'till you're dead.

WUT?: When you can't fathom the fuck you just read.

If you missed last week's funny tasting edition, you can check it out over at this link. If you liked what you see, you can check out older editions over at my Dtoid blog right here (warning: some content are definitely NSFW... that's a selling feature, by the way). Just look to the right and scroll down until you see the links. There's over 20 weeks worth, so if you haven't been keeping up, you'll have plenty to catch up on!

From Ryu, Roy, and all the other leaked Smash DLC available now



Dreamweaver: You sons of bitches.

Dreamweaver: We always do.

From 8-bit Mario, Animal Crossing, and possibly other amiibo incoming


Dreamweaver: He says this now...

Dreamweaver: It's a catch-22.

From Bethesda is releasing a 'Fallout 4 Pip-Boy Edition' with a real Pip-Boy


Dreamweaver: "Cumbersome, ugly, and nerdy"... That's what women say about me. How come I ain't no honey's Pip-Boy?

From That fancy Xbox One controller is $150


Dreamweaver: Giving people a brand new reason to emphasis "bring your own controller" game nights.

From World of Final Fantasy set PS4 and PS Vita, coming 2016


Dreamweaver: Yet another miracle of this year's E3.

From Did you blink? Shenmue 3 is already funded


Dreamweaver: I guess the Sonic boom blew out their ears.

From All of the upcoming amiibo, straight from the E3 show floor


Dreamweaver: In related news: amiibo fanatic ChillyBilly was recently arrested.

Dreamweaver: Cat amiibos? So this would be how the world ends...

Dreamweaver: They always relapse.

From Bunker dwelling in Sheltered


Dreamweaver: Guess you could say he wasn't Sheltered from the Fallout!

From Nintendo is making me sad with Metroid Prime: Blast Ball


Dreamweaver: Because we touch ourselves at night. Preferably to Samus Aran.

From Grading the Microsoft, Ubisoft, EA, and Sony press conferences


Dreamweaver: The only winning move is not to play.

From Here's what you get in the Halo 5 Limited Collector's Edition


Dreamweaver: You'll take my $250 dollars, but you can't give me a $10 disc!?

From Check out a full match of Tavern Brawl in Hearthstone


Dreamweaver: I guess he wins that comment... Hands(cock) down.

From Tabletop Simulator mod brings Gwent to the table


Dreamweaver: Dosh garn it.

From Xbox One Elite Controller announced, lets you customise it


Dreamweaver: Dude, you're talking to Kanye West.

From Microsoft announces Rare Replay, a collection of 30 classic Rare games


Dreamweaver: Well, she got the machine part right.

From EA CEO Andrew Wilson is the bad guy in Mirror's Edge Catalyst



Dreamweaver: I thought he only writes fake news!

From Russian PlayStation Store leaks new Hitman


Dreamweaver: Russian jokes never gets old.

From Has Microsoft killed Kinect?



Dreamweaver: That's so wrong, but I can't stop laughing.

From Elena is real mad at Drake in Uncharted 4: A Thief's End


Dreamweaver: It's funny because it's true!

Dreamweaver: Damn, we need Chloe on the PS4. Her ass could have so many polygons...

From Summer Lesson looks like everything I want from virtual reality right now


Dreamweaver: Who knew Kanye would save all the waifus?

Dreamweaver: I wonder what would happen during sex scenes then...

Dreamweaver: That's the only appropriate response.


Dreamweaver: "Fuck you guys..." Also an experience he's never had before.

From No Man's Sky dev happy he didn't end up at 'Fuktown' at Sony conference


Dreamweaver: Because that's when the kids go back to school!

From Those puppets for Nintendo's E3 presentation were actual Muppets!


Dreamweaver: I didn't wannasay anything, but I thought he was looked a little too life-like.

From Senran Kagura producer: Small boobs need to be moved by hand


Dreamweaver: I said the same thing to people asking for alimony.

Dreamweaver: Look at it this way: all their daughters will inherit that!

Dreamweaver: According to my state, incest is okay as long as there's no marriage or sexual intercourse, which is defined as the female sex orgain being penetrated by the male organ. Just to put that out there.

From Yoichi Wada leaves Square Enix


Dreamweaver: Wada you think he'll do with all of that dough?

From Meow! Felicia confirmed for Project X Zone 2


Dreamweaver: I can finally activate the cameras in her room.

From Konami's stance on Metal Gear Solid V microtransactions


Dreamweaver: Like you even had to ask.

From Nintendo partially to blame for Nier's infamous fishing quests


Dreamweaver: I set aside an hour for porn and masturbation, but I came within five minutes. I was using my Nintendo DSi. THANKS, NINTENDO.

(The sad part is, that's all actually true.)

From Transformers: Devastation confirmed as a Platinum Games title



Dreamweaver: I'm wondering more about how it tasted.

From Bethesda unveils first details for upcoming Doom project, coming spring 2016


Dreamweaver: Either the demons have less blood than I remember, or her time of the month is like monsoon season.

From PSA: You can now pay $0.99 to use your 3DS to play Smash Bros. Wii U


Dreamweaver: Why... is he... talking... like... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... that?

From All of Microsoft's games are up for pre-order now


Dreamweaver: I know what Rule 34 is.

From Multiple sources say a proper Final Fantasy VII remake is coming for PS4


Dreamweaver: ...No one else hears that on a daily basis?

From Please don't murder me, Donkey Kong


Dreamweaver: WHAT A TWIST!

From The hottest photos of the E3 show floor


Dreamweaver: I'd pay to see that.


Dreamweaver: Guess what I'm bringing to dinner!

From Fallout Shelter is making more money than Candy Crush Saga


Dreamweaver: Better than the folks who watch NASCAR.

From Zelda: Tri Force Heroes developers talk about lack of voice chat



Dreamweaver: ...Okay, but water better be on the pill.

From E3 2015: You play like a girl


Dreamweaver: But then how do they pee?

Well, that's it for this edition! I hope you enjoyed it!

  read


2:21 AM on 06.15.2015

Comments of the Week - This tastes funny

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-201png-620x.jpg[/img]

Hey, there, folks! Welcome back to Comments of the Week, where yours truly set out to collect the best comments I could find that's been said by you, the community. Whether yor were out last week, or want to take a look back in time, you've come to the right spot. As always, comments are delivered in three flavors:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: like vanilla, you can't go wrong.

[b]LOL[/b]: like strawberry, you can't help but smile.

[b]WUT?:[/b] like tutti-fruiti, you can't help but wonder what the hell that's supposed to mean.

In case you missed last week's shenanigans (do people still use that word?), you can [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-what-the-what-edition-293580.phtml]follow this link[/url] to see what the what's been said.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/being-sore-about-skyward-sword-inspired-a-great-comic-book-293056.phtml]Being sore about Skyward Sword inspired a great comic book[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-202png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-203png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I feel like this is something straight out of an anime about otakus.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/uwe-boll-f-ck-you-crowdfunding-is-dead-293524.phtml]Uwe Boll: F*ck you, crowdfunding is dead[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-204png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-205png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If people aren't giving you money to make something, I'm 35% sure they don't want it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/capcom-announces-mega-man-legacy-collection-293545.phtml]Capcom announces Mega Man Legacy Collection[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-206png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-207png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The catch is, Capcom never made the pre-orders available in the first place!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-208png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Quick, release it before they come to their senses! Maybe ask them for a new [i]Darkstalkers[/i] while we at it!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-massive-chalice-293482.phtml]Review: Massive Chalice[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-209png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2010png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2011png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Am I the only one who sees the potential for an Assive Chalice joke?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2012png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Does the gun have to be real, or will the NES Zapper will do?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/there-s-no-way-i-m-playing-fortnite-with-randoms-293554.phtml]There's no way I'm playing Fortnite with randoms[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2013png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2014png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Hey, he's trying the best he can with what he had, okay!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/oh-right-super-meat-boy-is-going-to-break-me-293571.phtml]Oh, right, Super Meat Boy is going to break me[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2015png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2016png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's the fourth best thing you could have sprayed onto your face.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/it-looks-like-lucas-and-mewtwo-are-also-getting-amiibo-293619.phtml]It looks like Lucas and Mewtwo are also getting amiibo[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2017png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2018png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Any quicker and they'll beat me in an ejaculation contest, hands down.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/call-of-duty-still-entrenched-in-its-last-gen-ways-293622.phtml]Call of Duty still entrenched in its last-gen ways[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2019png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2020png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm surprised we didn't get an HD remake of [i]Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2[/i], considering how many players love that one...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2021png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] To be fair, I wouldn't mind being breastfed by Bayonetta while I call her mommy.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/what-every-amiibo-looks-like-with-a-party-hat-293660.phtml]What every amiibo looks like with a party hat[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2022png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2023png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Even he can't make a joke outta this!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/halo-5-campaign-doesn-t-have-splitscreen-co-op-293699.phtml]Halo 5 campaign doesn't have splitscreen co-op[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2024png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2025png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Seriously, what non-pretentious person would ever say "legacy feature" in a normal conversation? That's like if I walked around the ghetto speaking Latin.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/this-year-s-steam-summer-sale-is-a-real-monster-293768.phtml]This year's Steam summer sale is a real monster[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2026png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2027png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's everysummer to me. Thank Goddess, I wasn't born before videogames was invented.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sega-promoting-alien-isolation-with-scary-eels-293505.phtml]Sega promoting Alien: Isolation with scary eels[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2028png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2029png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Because now you do it for fun, am I right?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2030png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2031png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] "Fuck it, good enough." One day, a woman will say that to me before she goes to sleep.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/doujin-fighter-yatagarasu-finally-arrives-july-7-293543.phtml]Doujin fighter Yatagarasu finally arrives July 7[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2032png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2033png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Where do the voices come from? Do the boobs slap each other like Morse code, or do they flap like lips? Or maybe they speak through their nipples... hey, if I licked them, would that be like French-kissing? What, what if the boobs' voice ain't the same as the girl, and I lick them and hear like a burly, deep-voiced dude respond?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/remedy-taking-a-quantum-break-from-e3-this-year-293552.phtml]Remedy taking a (Quantum) Break from E3 this year[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2034png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2035png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Just like the real 70s Bush would do.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/watch-iga-play-bloodstained-ritual-of-the-night-293594.phtml]Watch IGA play Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2036png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2037png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You're supposed to see a doctor after four to six hours.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/mirror-s-edge-catalyst-trademarked-by-ea-293574.phtml]Mirror's Edge Catalyst trademarked by EA[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2038png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2039png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn it, Mantis.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/disney-infinity-exec-slams-amiibo-shortages-293603.phtml]Disney Infinity exec slams amiibo shortages[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2040png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2041png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You really wanna go after a guy with a dead man in his pear tree? Then again, amiibo makes people do crazy things.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/dragon-ball-z-extreme-butoden-rated-in-au-western-release-likely-293606.phtml]Dragon Ball Z: Extreme Butoden rated in AU, western release likely[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2042png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2043png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You never cease to amaze me, internet.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/hulk-takes-a-selfie-in-this-lego-avengers-trailer-293626.phtml]Hulk takes a selfie in this LEGO Avengers trailer[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2044png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2045png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Great, now I'm going to have to "like" all of his photos. He takes rejection as seriously as high schoolers.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/witcher-3-sold-4-million-in-two-weeks-293650.phtml]Witcher 3 sold 4 million in two weeks[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2046png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2047png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Love that wordplay.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2048png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's funny because it's true.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/if-a-new-metroid-is-announced-at-e3-i-will-get-this-obnoxious-haircut-293696.phtml]If a new Metroid is announced at E3, I will get this obnoxious haircut[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2049png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2050png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If you creampie, then it's called a clam canyon because it has pearls deep inside.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/female-link-to-be-in-hyrule-warriors-3ds--293707.phtml]Female Link to be in Hyrule Warriors 3DS!?[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2051png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2052png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Isay WHA...?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/platinum-teasing-continues-with-a-vanquish-screenshot-293744.phtml]Platinum teasing continues with a Vanquish screenshot[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2053png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2054png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gotta Han(cock) it to him, that was funny.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/double-woolly-yoshi-double-woolly-yoshi-double-woolly-yoshi--293778.phtml]Double Woolly Yoshi! Double Woolly Yoshi! Double Woolly Yoshi![/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2055png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2056png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I tried doing the same thing to his wife too. Received an entirely different injury.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2057png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] "Massive amount?" Like Nintendo made more than ten of them.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/it-looks-like-even-more-xbox-one-exclusives-will-skip-e3-293818.phtml]It looks like even more Xbox One exclusives will skip E3[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2058png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2059png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] A dungeon is a man's home.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/indie-dev-reports-feeling-a-negative-impact-from-steam-refund-policy-293470.phtml]Indie dev reports feeling a negative impact from Steam refund policy[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2060png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2061png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You'd think that at first, but once you've been in enough vans, you start to enjoy it and go looking for them.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Luna+Sy/may-i-have-a-word-with-you-jonathan-holmes--293534.phtml]May I have a word with you, Jonathan Holmes?[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2062png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2063png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Damn, man, I got my "bundle of joy" for $7.63. Took about 9 months to ship though, but I had a hand in making it!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/check-out-red-hood-in-action-in-batman-arkham-knight-293544.phtml]Check out Red Hood in action in Batman: Arkham Knight[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2064png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2065png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2066png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Why would he need to wash his hands? He's already in the shower!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/horror-and-secrecy-need-to-be-better-bedfellows-293479.phtml]Horror and secrecy need to be better bedfellows[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2067png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2068png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Because of their drunken brawl, we will never did find out who the fuck Zach Furniss is.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/reddit-s-button-game-is-finally-over-293597.phtml]reddit's button game is finally over[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2069png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2070png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2071png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm willing to bet they're both related. Like, we know we're fucked against the lizard people, so we saved all the kitties. That way, when the next race achieve interstellar internet, we can see all the cute cat videos.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/volume-gets-a-release-date-and-trailer-for-pc-ps4-and-vita-293670.phtml]Volume gets a release date and trailer for PC, PS4, and Vita[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2072png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2073png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Then what have you been using them for!?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/fantastic-boyfriends-999-reward-has-ogre-chest-mousepads-293697.phtml] Fantastic Boyfriends $999 reward has Ogre chest mousepads[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2074png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2075png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I have a feeling I'm gonna try to grab a mouse and end up feeling a joystick.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2076png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] His apartment was haunted.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/my-first-three-hours-with-street-fighter-v-were-immensely-satisfying-293564.phtml]My first three hours with Street Fighter V were immensely satisfying[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2077png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293968-2078png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Yo, what's her number?

Alright, that's it for this week! I hope you enjoyed this edition, and I hope we'll meet again soon!

  read


7:18 PM on 06.08.2015

Comments of the Week - "What the what!?" edition

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-190png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, folks! If you're just tuning in, what took you so long? This is a weekly segment where yours truly gathers up all the funny things the community had said to compile them in one convenient spot. Whether you've been out and about, or simply want to relive some of last week's best moments, then this is for you. Comments are always placed within three easy categories:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: I cannot tell a lie.

[b]LOL[/b]: Damn, do I look fly.

[b]WUT?:[/b] You're gonna need to tip me to know what I'm wearing. :3

If you missed last week's edition, I don't blame you. [i]Splatoon[/i] did drop last week, and I bet many of y'all were playing it so much, you'd think you were "Splatooning" yourselves. Anyway, [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-the-why-am-i-not-playing-splatoon-right-now-edition-293131.phtml]here's the link[/url], just wash your hands first. To get rid of the ink. Gosh, y'all perverts.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/here-s-roughly-10-minutes-of-fire-emblem-if-gameplay-293046.phtml]Here's roughly 10 minutes of Fire Emblem if gameplay[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-191png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-192png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...I'd still hit it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/chibi-robo-gets-a-2d-action-platformer-on-3ds-and-an-amiibo-293047.phtml]Chibi Robo gets a 2D action platformer on 3DS and an amiibo[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-193png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-194png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] As someone who legitimately wanted the triple pack to actually use for the in-game stuff, I share this sentiment exactly.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/dragon-quest-viii-is-looking-good-on-the-3ds-293054.phtml]Dragon Quest VIII is looking good on the 3DS [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-195png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-196png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-197png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm hoping the two comments aren't related.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/cobra-club-made-me-think-intelligently-about-dick-security-293092.phtml]Cobra Club made me think intelligently about dick security[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-198png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-199png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] One of every three people is a Dtoider at heart.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sony-remastering-its-2010-e3-press-conference-for-2015-293075.phtml]Sony remastering its 2010 E3 press conference for 2015[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1910png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1911png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But E3 remastered is supposed to be the best version of E3! What a half-ass port!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/katamari-designer-s-new-game-wattam-is-all-warm-and-fuzzy-293122.phtml]Katamari designer's new game Wattam is all warm and fuzzy[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1912png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1913png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I say the same thing when I watch donkey shows.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-nintendo-world-championships-will-have-the-legend-of-zelda-293154.phtml]The Nintendo World Championships will have The Legend of Zelda[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1914png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1915png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] They bring that old thing back.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/activision-confirms-skylanders-superchargers-coming-this-year-293226.phtml]Activision confirms Skylanders SuperChargers, coming this year[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1916png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1917png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Now how will Nintendo make money!?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/creator-blames-konami-for-end-of-popular-27-year-old-series-293214.phtml]Creator blames Konami for end of popular 27-year-old series[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1918png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1919png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Konami employees are obviously oblivious.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/hitman-sniper-opens-fire-on-ios-android-today-293306.phtml]Hitman: Sniper opens fire on iOS, Android today[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1920png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1921png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Square Enix sounds like this hooker I know who's really bent on taking me home. She seems pretty nice though.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/jigglypuff-punching-mario-straight-in-the-dick-293309.phtml]Jigglypuff punching Mario straight in the dick[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1922png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1923png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Bowser? Mo' like OWser!

...

I apologize.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/latest-nba-2k16-news-is-everything-that-is-wrong-with-the-nba-2k-series-293320.phtml]Latest NBA 2K16 news is everything that is wrong with the NBA 2K series[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1924png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1925png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'd rather EA not charge money for my rescue.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/did-newegg-just-leak-windows-10-pricing-and-release-date--293059.phtml]Did NewEgg just leak Windows 10 pricing and release date?[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1926png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1927png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1928png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Computer jokes only nerds will get.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-nx-might-be-running-on-android-293080.phtml]Nintendo NX might be running on Android [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1929png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1930png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Hey, that was an important day in internet history!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1931png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can. BOO!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/cd-projekt-red-provides-huge-patch-note-dump-for-witcher-3-293073.phtml]CD Projekt Red provides huge patch note dump for Witcher 3[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1932png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1934png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I prefer melons over lemons anyway. We're talking about boobs, right?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1933png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1935png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] No one said being a Witcher was easy!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/dragon-age-inquisition-lead-more-story-dlc-on-the-way-293072.phtml]Dragon Age Inquisition lead: more story DLC on the way[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1936png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1937png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Nathan D sounds like he'd be on top.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/new-rise-of-the-tomb-raider-trailer-shows-off-highly-unsafe-climbing-practices-293103.phtml]New Rise of the Tomb Raider trailer shows off highly unsafe climbing practices[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1938png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1939png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I wanna head in the same direction a skeleton's pointing at.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/tanya-in-mortal-kombat-x-has-my-favorite-fatality-yet-293123.phtml]Tanya in Mortal Kombat X has my favorite Fatality yet[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1940png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1941png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] New Yorkers, man, always in a hurry.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/steam-now-offers-full-refunds-for-any-reason-293176.phtml]Steam now offers full refunds for any reason[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1942png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1943png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1944png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He comes with his own parachutes!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1945png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Plot twist: he wasn't wearing any.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/that-white-xbox-one-master-chief-bundle-s-available-now-293179.phtml]That white Xbox One Master Chief bundle's available now[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1946png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1947png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] My controllers are white. They weren't when I bought them.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/square-enix-assures-fans-that-lighting-returns-is-still-coming-to-pc-293225.phtml]Square Enix assures fans that Lighting Returns is still coming to PC[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1948png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1948jokepng-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1949png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'd be angry if I didn't have my face in her crotch, too.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/a-witcher-gif-that-ll-make-you-lose-your-mind-293247.phtml]A Witcher GIF that'll make you lose your mind[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1950png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1951png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He clearly cut his neck in half.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1952png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I got a little dsylexic at Dr. Mel's comment and thought it said MILF. I read it again and now I'm disappointed, especially when Occams promised I could be king of Fuck Mountain.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/expensive-dick-moderation-helped-kill-the-last-lego-mmo-293260.phtml]Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1953png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1954png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] How the hell did no one reply "IT'S NOT A TUMOR!"?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/lucas-will-make-his-debut-in-super-smash-bros-on-june-14-293370.phtml]Lucas will make his debut in Super Smash Bros. on June 14[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1955png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Son of a squid!

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/kk-slider-coming-to-smash-bros-in-costume-form-293094.phtml]KK Slider coming to Smash Bros. in costume form[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1956png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1957png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I usually absorb their cum.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sexy-perro-is-our-site-busted-for-you-in-any-way--293146.phtml]Sexy Perro: Is our site busted for you in any way?[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1958png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1959png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] And now I have Perro's powers.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1960png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Who will then demand that you show him what the problem is.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-shooter-293138.phtml]Review: Shooter[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1961png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1962png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] This is what happens when you remove instruction manuals.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1963png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Schrodinger's Score.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nude-nippleless-boy-in-the-official-splatoon-manga-293150.phtml]Nude, nippleless boy in the official Splatoon manga[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1964png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1965png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] And I thought mine looked funny.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/stonehearth-is-out-now-on-steam-early-access-293233.phtml]Stonehearth is out now on Steam Early Access[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1966png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1967png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But then it gets in your eyes... wait, what were we talking about?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/contest-win-an-enhance-gx-m1-gaming-mouse--293269.phtml]Contest: Win an Enhance GX-M1 Gaming Mouse![/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1968png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1969png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He also needs to use a weed wacker.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1970png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Best comment this week, hands down... my pants.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/psn-accidentally-leaks-uncharted-nathan-drake-collection-293280.phtml]PSN accidentally leaks Uncharted: Nathan Drake Collection[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1971png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1972png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1973png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Are we talking about the gun or the penis?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/all-mojang-staff-were-offered-300k-not-to-leave-company-293284.phtml]All Mojang staff were offered $300K not to leave company[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1974png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1975png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I got on the ground and put a "Slim Jim" in my mouth for $10 once, too.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1976png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gutter? I hardly know her!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/batman-arkham-knight-clocks-in-at-45gb-293290.phtml]Batman: Arkham Knight clocks in at 45GB[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1977png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Why would I want a girl when I can have all the waifus I could want?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nba-2k16-s-main-character-is-named-frequency-vibrations-293335.phtml]NBA 2K16's main character is named Frequency Vibrations[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1978png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1980png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] On the bright side, "a lot" isn't "ALL the time"!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1979png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] What's the difference between radioactive Charles Barkley and regular one?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/amazon-confirms-microsoft-s-poorly-kept-e3-surprises-293385.phtml]Amazon confirms Microsoft's poorly-kept E3 surprises[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1981png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1982png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1983png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Obama dropped the bom-ba!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/wander-on-ps4-and-pc-is-horribly-broken-293418.phtml]Wander on PS4 and PC is horribly broken[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1984png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293580-1985png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] What if that's what Konami's been doing all along, so we'd all be forced to play PACHINKO for our kicks!?

Well, that's all for this edition, folks! Hopefully we'll meet again next week, so stay funny until then, and maybe you can be featured next!

  read


5:06 PM on 06.01.2015

Comments of the Week - The "Why am I not playing Splatoon right now?" edition

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-181png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, blah blah blah, you know the deal. I'll be honest, I actually thought about skipping this week so I can spend more time playing [i]Splatoon[/i]. That game is so damn addictive, I've thought about skipping sleep, skipping meals, skipping "other things", just to squeeze as many hours out of it as I could. However, duty calls me to return to you fine folks... and it's not because the damn Gamepad has to charge. No sir.

Anyway, as always, comments are put into three sections:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: ...The Gamepad had to charge.

[b]LOL[/b]: Come on, you gotta admit, that was pretty funny.

[b]WUT?:[/b] Until you realize it would've meant no CotW this week.

In case you missed last week's Comments of the Week, you can check it out [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-kick-that-candy-bar-i-got-a-bounty-for-y-all-292766.phtml]right here[/url]. The bounty is still active, because no one actually sent me anything, so high-fives are still available!

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/lords-of-the-fallen-to-get-a-game-of-the-year-edition-292715.phtml]Lords of the Fallen to get a Game of the Year Edition[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-182png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-183png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If this is anything like my purchase of the demo for [i]Final Fantasy XV[/i], I probably still wouldn't play [i]Lords of the Fallen[/i].

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-184png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, they certainly wouldn't be lying.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-185png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Too much honesty, too much honesty!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/tychus-cigar-isn-t-in-heroes-of-the-storm-292716.phtml]Tychus' cigar isn't in Heroes of the Storm[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-186png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-187png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn it, DKUmaro!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/project-cars-boss-we-re-running-at-about-23fps-on-wii-u--292728.phtml]Project CARS boss: 'We're running at about 23FPS on Wii U'[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-188png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-189png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] BURN! Speaking of...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/watch-an-xbox-avatar-shove-hot-pockets-up-its-ass-292682.phtml]Watch an Xbox Avatar shove Hot Pockets up its ass[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1810png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1811png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1812png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] To this day, I still don't ever use the crispy sleeves when I microwave Hot Pockets...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-witcher-almost-didn-t-star-leading-man-geralt-292781.phtml]The Witcher almost didn't star leading man Geralt[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1813png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1814png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Mike Martin sounds like a porn star name. If he was black, he'd be called M&M because he melts in your mouth.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1815png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If I was a hot chick, I'd do me.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/gog-refusing-to-sell-hatred-292793.phtml]GOG refusing to sell Hatred[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1816png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1817png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I know, right?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1818png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Oh, I got a Wild West alright...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-ps4-version-of-darksiders-ii-is-called-the-deathinitive-edition--292853.phtml]The PS4 version of Darksiders II is called the 'Deathinitive Edition'[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1819png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1820png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Someone has a career in marketing.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/large-shipment-of-uk-copies-of-splatoon-stolen-game-heavily-affected-292861.phtml]Large shipment of UK copies of Splatoon stolen, GAME heavily affected[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1821png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1822png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Amiibos are the real money's at.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/you-ll-need-about-1-500-to-go-all-in-with-oculus-rift-292890.phtml]You'll need about $1,500 to go all in with Oculus Rift[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1823png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1824png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Prostitute fees are always justified!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/tickets-for-sony-s-e3-experience-events-available-now-292900.phtml]Tickets for Sony's E3 Experience events available now[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1825png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1826png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Don't all rush for tickets, now.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/steam-s-summer-sale-is-apparently-coming-june-11-292947.phtml]Steam's summer sale is apparently coming June 11[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1827png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1828png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] They called it Steam because they know it never runs out...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/splatoon-s-servers-have-held-up-fairly-well-at-launch-292983.phtml]Splatoon's servers have held up fairly well at launch[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1829png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1830png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Either or works.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/star-citizen-had-40gb-of-assets-leaked-and-dang-they-re-huge-292719.phtml]Star Citizen had 40GB of assets leaked, and dang they're huge[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1831png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1832png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Data dick jokes.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/street-fighter-v-will-be-playable-for-the-first-time-next-month-292741.phtml]Street Fighter V will be playable for the first time next month[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1833png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1834png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Of COURSE!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/league-of-legends-debuts-near-instant-punishment-system-for-toxic-players-292767.phtml]League of Legends debuts near-instant punishment system for toxic players[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1835png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1836png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] They wouldn't even let him make an account! (

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1837png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Canadian, rude? Impossible, they canuck do it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/final-fantasy-was-almost-called-fighting-fantasy-creator-explains-actual-reason-behind-the-name-292792.phtml]Final Fantasy was almost called Fighting Fantasy: Creator explains actual reason behind the name[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1838png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1839png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I play "efu efu" all the time. Usually girls say that to me, but in a not sexy way.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1840png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] There's gotta be a hentai with a name like that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/you-too-can-create-this-unholy-monstrosity-with-amiibo-in-yoshi-s-woolly-world-292797.phtml]You too can create this unholy monstrosity with amiibo in Yoshi's Woolly World[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1841png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1842png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You guys never make me yarn.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1843png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He even kept the mustache; he knows the disguise wouldn't work otherwise!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-starless-nymphomaniacs-paradise-292835.phtml]Review: Starless: Nymphomaniacs' Paradise[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1844png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1845png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1846png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The scariest one yet!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1847png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] There's a hidden penis joke.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1848png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Self-explanatory.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1849png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1850png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The best use of the Gardevoir meme I've ever seen.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/very-quick-tips-splatoon-292725.phtml]Very Quick Tips: Splatoon[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1851png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1852png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ONLY across the room? Amateurs, man...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-great-wave-4-amiibo-hunt-is-on-today-and-it-s-about-what-we-expected-292967.phtml]The great Wave 4 amiibo hunt is on today, and it's about what we expected[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1853png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1854png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Quick, someone work with me to do a Amiibo adventure visual novel!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1855png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Someone I know has the purrfect response.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1556png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/oops-an-austrian-retailer-leaked-images-of-the-new-xbox-one-controller-292975.phtml]Oops: An Austrian retailer leaked images of the new Xbox One controller[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1856V2png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1857png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Camo believe you said that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/rumor-that-microsoft-is-buying-silent-hills-for-billions-is-ridiculous-292999.phtml]Rumor that Microsoft is buying Silent Hills for billions is ridiculous[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1858png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1859png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] They get to finger all the females then. :(

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/resident-evil-0-remastered-revealed-arrives-early-2016-292771.phtml]Resident Evil 0 Remastered revealed, arrives early 2016[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1860png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1861png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1862png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1863png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Oh, gosh, it's starting...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1538png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Soon, they'll spread to other countries!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/12-minutes-of-the-final-fantasy-fighter-dissidia-292790.phtml]12 minutes of the Final Fantasy fighter Dissidia[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1864png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1865png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You thought he'd recognize it by now!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1866png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] What, what did you think he was gonna say?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/battlefield-hardline-s-new-add-on-trailer-has-shades-of-hotline-miami-292814.phtml]Battlefield Hardline's new add-on trailer has shades of Hotline Miami[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1867png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I don't go to family reunions without one!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/you-can-fly-off-pikes-peak-in-dirt-rally-292808.phtml]You can fly off Pikes Peak in DiRT Rally[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1868png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1869png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I always knew there was something devious behind Jordan's smile.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sony-exec-calls-vita-a-legacy-platform--292873.phtml]Sony exec calls Vita a 'legacy platform' [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1870png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1871png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1872png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yuo can't beat unlimited fish heads!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-download-mega-man-may-concludes-with-battle-network-4-and-zero-3-292863.phtml]Nintendo Download: Mega Man May concludes with Battle Network 4 and Zero 3[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1873png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1874png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...I'm never coming over to visit.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/brilliant-puzzle-roguelike-desktop-dungeons-now-portable-292931.phtml]Brilliant puzzle roguelike Desktop Dungeons now portable[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1875png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1876png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Do you sleep naked?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/wave-4-amiibo-launch-a-bust-after-only-10-people-trampled-to-death-292942.phtml]Wave 4 amiibo launch a bust after only 10 people trampled to death[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1877V2png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-293131-1878png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Guess you got something to think about, then?

Alright folks, that's the end of this edition of Comments of the Week. Now, [b]y'all[/b] ain't got to go home, but [b]I'm[/b] getting the hell out of here. [i]Splatoon[/i], baby, here I come!

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4:02 PM on 05.27.2015

The 34th Splatoon - See what I did there? (NSFW!)

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoonhentai1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[i]Splatoon[/i] may be out in stores soon (though certainly not soon enough!) but that hasn't stopped the internet from making awesome images. I mean, right from the reveal back in E3 a year or two ago, fans were in love with the character designs. Do you know that there's a ton of pretty sweet [i]Splatoon[/i] fan art out there, just waiting to be highlighted and showcased by someone?

Yeah, well, someone else is gonna have to do that, because this blog's about the porn!

Now, I know I did a couple of hentai blogs before, but let's tackle the subject matter a little bit. As some of you may be aware, I'm totally into the older, mature, more developed ladies. However, rather than showcasing lovely MILFs or big boobed babes I love so much, the characters in [i]Splatoon[/i] are tiny lil' tykes that may resemble young children. As we know, actual child pornography is a no-no. However, in my opinion, fictional child pornography is a victimless crime, save for whatever sprain someone gets for... drawing.

What, what did you think I was going to say?

Funny enough, did you know that May is National Masturbation Month? Did you know May 27 is a Wednesday, also known as "hump day"? Did you know National Masturbation Day is May 28th? Did you know May 29th is when [i]Splatoon[/i] will released? Do you know where I'm going with this? I think you do!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai2jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Let's start with one of the earliest ones to come out. You know, I really like this one for a couple of reason, and one of them is because of the art style they used. It has a chalk-like feel to it, the coloring is nice, and it immediately grabbed my attention when I first saw it.

Okay, speaking of attention grabbing, it's kinda hard to ignore the whole "spreading yourself open" shot she's doing. I kinda figured, with their hair doubling for squid tentacles, that we would see them incorporated into porn. I really like the whole "blushing" vibe she's got going on to, like she's timid about it yet she's still wet. You probably can't see it because I censored it, but trust me, she wants to do more than hand out invitations.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoonhentai14png-620x.jpg[/img]

This is another one of those "show your holes" picture pose. I chose to include this one not only because this one's opening up her ass instead (variety!), but also because I like the way it's drawn. It's kinda sharp, and I like the expression on her face. While I know that there's no white ink in their world, since this image is in black and white, I like to think that's cum leaking out of her gun. If only she was rubbing her cheek on the puddle and there's some kind of sticky residue to further cement that illusion.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai3v2png-620x.jpg[/img]

To be honest, I'm not really sure if what I censored was a nipple or not. However, whether it is or isn't, I really just adore how cute she looks! Seriously, I don't even find the bare chest sexually enticing as I do a piece of artistic nudity: it's not blatant, and yes, even little girls have nipples... that will eventually grow into big boobies like tiny seeds blossoming into roses. Still, I love this image just because she looks too adorable, pulling her hair tentacles like that.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai4png-620x.jpg[/img]

Maybe it's because I'm so used to cum being so milky white, I honestly thought that was toothpaste she was squeezing out of the tube. If I'm being honest once again, I was kinda hoping it would be, considering the whole "toothbrush fetish" thing going around. But alas, it's just a penis.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai6jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Definitely[/b] one of my favorite images. I have a thing for futanari girls (hint: it's the same thing they got!) and seeing her pump her lovingly large penis to provide ammo and pleasure is just lovely. Speaking of, the amount she cums is just amazing, and I like the way it shoots out. I'm a [b]stickler[/b] for things like that. She also have a rather tight shirt on, and her big breasts looks like they boing when they bounce like super balls!

Not to be confused with male super balls, which kinda saggy jiggles like deflated basketballs.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai7jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Simple, yet effective. Even in the game does the Inkling have hips that don't quit, so it's nice to see that porn that emphasizes their bubble butts and not their flat chests. And that Inkling knows she's got it, and she knows you want it, but you can't have any.

Because she's not real. GOSH DARN TEASE!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai8png-620x.jpg[/img]

Okay, so if you know about [i]Splatoon[/i], you know that characters can swim in their own ink and turn invisible. You can use this to surprise enemies, and why you should never take for granted that an area with enemy paint might not have someone hiding in wait for you to expense your ammo and take advantage.

These girls got a different kind of "taking advantage" in mind.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai9jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

The single player campaign for [i]Splatoon[/i] has players going into enemy territory to fight against the army of Octarians alone. You can see from this image why that wasn't such a good idea.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai10jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Though also in the single player campaign, you get to fight these sexy Octopus ladies. Heck, if I gotta be captured by an enemy, this isn't too bad. The Octopus lady is particularly horny, just look at her face.

And man, is that Inkling a gusher. It just keeps pouring out, and she ain't even a futa..

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai19jpeg-620x.jpg[/img]

Of course, if I can capture the enemy myself...

While the quality of the image is pretty low, I still like the idea of it. As some of you already know, I like the older woman/ younger male relationship, so having the kid have sex with someone who could be in her teens still satisfy that fetish for me. The random guy using her hair to rub one out is just icing on the cake.

The cake being her head.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai11png-620x.jpg[/img]

This image is very interesting to me. It's kinda a mix between pencil/ ink sketch and early mangas, right down to the same type of colored pages and subtle "body bits". I kind of like it more for the artistic angle and less of the sex, which honestly isn't that great from this perspective (seriously, not even a cumdrip between her legs). I also like seeing that wavy mouth that girls get when they're enjoying sex.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai12jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Because every Japanese game needs swimsuit costumes, dammit. No exceptions.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai13jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

This is another one of my favorite images because I like the overall quality of it. It looks rather well done, and there's a kind of sharpness to it that makes it look defined. As for the sexual content, I'm not sure if she's just rubbing the thick penis against her pussy for pleasure or is actually trying to stick it in. It could be both, like trying to loosen the hole before going all in. Whatever the case, that's actually a pretty fat penis, and she's grinding up against it, so that's nice.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai15v2png-620x.jpg[/img]

No, the image didn't not load. The next image is one I enjoyed, but I figured censoring it would be more of a hassle than it's worth, so I chose to use this black square instead. It's about as good.

Why? Because there's so many penises, or penis shaped shadows that allude to more penises, in this image that I might as well take the easy way out.

What, am I really being lazy? Okay, fine, I'll try my best to show you what I can.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoonhentai15jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

By golly, is that a lot of penises! And yet, strangely not the most amount I've ever seen. Thank goodness I don't have to censor cum.

This image kinda has a watercolor paint-like feel to it, and I really think it looks nice.

Like I said before, I really enjoy the whole "melty mouth" thing anime girls have when they're enjoying sex because it looks so arousing. The look on her face in general is also pretty adorable, like she's trying her hardest to soften these guys.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai16jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Not exactly tentacle rape. It's really more like she's being groped.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-SplatoonHentai17png-620x.jpg[/img]

Almost actual tentacle rape. It doesn't look like there's any penetration going on, kind of as if the tentacles are just merely covering her naughty bit. I can't even tell if she's enjoying it or not: without a blush across her face or something to give it away, it looks like she's really just passive about it. What I do know is that her lips are full and luscious though, and that alones sells me on the image.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoonhentai18jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

You saw the Inkling, you saw the Octaling, so let's combine the two together! Like I said, if this is what being captured would be like, then take me prisoner! If I don't have a white flag, I'm sure we can stain something. :P

You know, I always find that trail of drool to be oddly arousing. I mean, it's no cum string, but it's viscous enough to look like it.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoon1png-620x.jpg[/img]

For the final set, this is part of a three-page "comic" that involves a blue boy Inkling with an orange female one. So they're playing the game, and the boy sees a trail of orange ink going to a hidden corner somewhere. Once he's close enough her, he jumps out of cover with his gun raised, only to see the girl pleasuring herself without her pants! Again, I LOVE the whole "wavy mouth" she has, and for some reason, having a shirt on for sex just seems better. As she rubs her clitoris, she notices that the boy is there, and starts licking her lips.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoon2png-620x.jpg[/img]

Then, she places her legs behind her legs (gosh darn is she flexible!) and spreads herself wide. The point-of-view then takes place from within her vagina, let's call this the "cervix cam", so you can see the boy getting all hot and bothered staring right into her gaping hole. He's obviously not going to turn down such an offer, so he immediately jumps on her and starts sexing her up.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292886-Splatoon32png-620x.jpg[/img]

The next few panels show them having intercourse in various positions, but damn is he going at it like a little spider monkey! After finally cumming his blue ink, the boy has to take a breather, but the girl appreciates how full she is by opening the gates to let it ooze out.

Well, I pretty much "finished" this blog (you take that whichever way helps you sleep at night), so I'll just leave you guys here to do whatever you want to do with these images. I hope you enjoyed reading though! I personally can't wait for [i]Splatoon[/i] to come out this Friday, so maybe I'll see some of you guys on the battlefield! Just be on the lookout for the player ÆON with the Splatter Jr. (did you see me in the Global Testfires, perhaps?) claiming his turf and making it surf. That probably made no sense, but my blood ain't flowed back into my brain quite yet.

  read


6:47 PM on 05.25.2015

Comments of the Week - Kick that candy bar, I got a bounty for y'all

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-171png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week. As you may already be aware, this is the series that showcases the wonderful things that the community has said over the week, all compiled in one convenient location for your viewing! So whether you were busy this week and missed out, or want to relive some of the wackier moments, you can check them all out below. As always, comments are placed into these three categories:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: Ferrero Rocher are the best confections ever.

[b]LOL[/b]: They're like crunchy scrotums dipped in chocolate and covered with nuts.

[b]WUT?:[/b] Not that I ever had scrotums before.

In case you didn't get to see the last Comments of the Week, you can certainly follow [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-monday-surprise--292382.phtml]this link[/url] to travel back in time to see it. I have invented time travel, y'all: bow to my greatness!

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/miiverse-art-shows-up-as-graffiti-in-splatoon-292339.phtml]Miiverse art shows up as graffiti in Splatoon[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-172png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-173png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yeah, the fact that they can make great art on a Wii U Gamepad just shows how much better they are than me. Jerks.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-174png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's for your own good.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/destiny-house-of-wolves-will-launch-at-10am-pst-tomorrow-292353.phtml]Destiny: House of Wolves will launch at 10AM PST tomorrow [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-175png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-176png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I wouldn't know: the only hot girl who has been in my bed was my mom. I'll leave the "boring in bed" part to your imagination.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/konami-proves-mobile-is-the-future-of-gaming-with-metal-gear-solid-v-ios-port-292323.phtml]Konami proves mobile is the future of gaming with Metal Gear Solid V iOS port[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-177png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-178png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Same here. If Konami really did make a port, I'm going to have some serious deja vu.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-witcher-3-s-day-one-patch-isn-t-all-that-massive-292360.phtml]The Witcher 3's day-one patch isn't all that massive[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-179v2png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1710png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You deserve a medal!

Also, true story: I have two versions of that "Article clip" because I didn't know which hot girl I wanted to choose, so here's the other.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-179png-620x.jpg[/img]

Why did I feel the need to include an image at all? Because they are FINE.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/take-two-announces-new-2k-aaa-project-292400.phtml]Take-Two announces new 2K AAA project [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1711png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1712png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I swear, if this announcement of an announcement ends up being another announcement, I'mma smack 2K.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1713png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Who wouldn't!?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-reveals-more-information-for-their-world-championships-2015-tourney-292418.phtml]Nintendo reveals more information for their World Championships 2015 tourney [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1714png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1715png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1716png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, of course there's other countries other than America: we gotta invade someone!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/fire-emblem-if-changes-up-series-staple-weapon-triangle-292463.phtml]Fire Emblem If changes up series-staple weapon triangle[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1717png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1718png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's what makes them waifus!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/bowser-leaves-ea-joins-nintendo-as-vice-president-of-sales-292497.phtml]Bowser leaves EA, joins Nintendo as Vice President of Sales[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1719png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1720png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But does it explain why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1721png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Coup believe you said that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/capcom-seemingly-doesn-t-understand-memes-292547.phtml]Capcom seemingly doesn't understand memes[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1722png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1723png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] BURN!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1724png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Dildos are family-sanctioned fun! It's not like it's REAL penis!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/here-are-some-closeup-shots-of-the-inkling-boy-splatoon-amiibo-292577.phtml]Here are some closeup shots of the Inkling Boy Splatoon amiibo[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1725png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1726png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1727png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Not today, Isay Isay!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/experience-e3-2015-with-playstation-292583.phtml]Experience E3 2015 with PlayStation[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1728png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1729png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If you got a boner from PornHub at the same time they put the toddler on-stage, that's gonna make things awkward.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/first-historical-inaccuracies-spotted-in-assassin-s-creed-syndicate-292334.phtml]First historical inaccuracies spotted in Assassin's Creed: Syndicate[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1730png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1731png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You should be their PR department!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1732png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Oh, I got a Big Ben for Elizabeth Tower, alright...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1733png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] They believe "imersion > gameplay"?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/target-s-throwing-in-a-squirt-gun-with-splatoon-292370.phtml]Target's throwing in a squirt gun with Splatoon [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1734jpg-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1735png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Mine's more of a pea shooter...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/maybe-you-shouldn-t-download-that-witcher-3-patch-292376.phtml]Maybe you shouldn't download that Witcher 3 patch on Xbox One[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1736png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1737png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm picking whichever has the better sex scenes.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/doom-4-used-to-look-nothing-like-doom-292378.phtml]Doom 4 used to look nothing like Doom [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1738png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1739png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Nailed it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/minecraft-player-trolled-by-mojang-over-username-292396.phtml]Minecraft player trolled by Mojang over username[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1740png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1742png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That would've been even funnier.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1741png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] NoYouDon't.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-president-satoru-iwata-will-not-attend-e3-again-this-year-292385.phtml]Nintendo president Satoru Iwata will not attend E3 again this year[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1743png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1744png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I always knew Iwata got da bitches.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1745png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Guess E3 won't be getting gay in there.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/hd-remakes-from-capcom-will-now-be-a-key-business-activity--292386.phtml]HD remakes from Capcom will now be a 'key business activity'[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1746png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1747png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/re-re-release-final-fantasy-x-x-2-ps4-tops-japan-sales-292491.phtml]Re-re-release: Final Fantasy X/X-2 PS4 tops Japan sales[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1748png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1749png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I read this with the most deadpan voices ever.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-false-advertising-of-mortal-kombat-s-kombat-pass-292515.phtml]The false advertising of Mortal Kombat's Kombat Pack[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1750png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1751png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yes, I'm plugging myself, and I feel no shame!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sony-boss-confirms-bloodborne-expansion-more-info-late-this-year-292522.phtml]Sony boss confirms Bloodborne expansion, more info late this year[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1752png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1753png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Any game that lets me punch things in the dick is a game worth playing.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1754png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1755png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Funny, I usually log in to get my log off, if you know what I mean. :3

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-cell-phone-in-this-year-s-tokyo-game-show-promo-art-seems-very-intentional-292587.phtml]The cell phone in this year's Tokyo Game Show promo art seems very intentional[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1756png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1757png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm horny enough to suck some burritos.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/if-you-buy-don-t-starve-on-wii-u-soon-you-ll-get-a-free-gift-copy-292614.phtml]If you buy Don't Starve on Wii U soon, you'll get a free gift copy[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1758png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1759png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I honestly had to a double-take at the title as well.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1760png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] So either way, you'll be playing [i]Don't Starve[/i]!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/hey-dtoid-here-s-5-more-things-about-me-nsfw--292581.phtml]Hey, Dtoid! Here's 5 (More) Things about me! (NSFW)[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1761png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1762png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm just happy I didn't get banned!

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/what-if-twitter-was-a-real-life-party-video-games-and-violence-292294.phtml]What if Twitter was a Real Life Party? Video games and violence[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1763png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He secretly wanted a cat all his life.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1764png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Masturbation of Honor: Airborne

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/first-look-at-warcraft-film-features-beefcake-orc-nipples-292371.phtml]First look at Warcraft film features beefcake orc nipples[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1765png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1766png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] What about the females?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/god-of-war-iii-s-hades-fight-in-1080p-60fps-on-ps4-292455.phtml]God of War III's Hades fight in 1080p, 60fps on PS4[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1767png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1768png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Now I know why they call it a "pump-kin."

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/squid-now-a-splatoon-avant-garde-art-film-292457.phtml]Squid Now - A Splatoon avant-garde art film [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1769png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1770png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1771png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That was like the end of [i]Sopranos[/i], only better.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/bloxels-is-a-tactile-tool-for-building-video-games-292525.phtml]Bloxels is a tactile tool for building video games[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1772png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1773png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't even process that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/live-action-rock-band-4-trailer-looking-for-bodies-292524.phtml]Live-action Rock Band 4 trailer looking for bodies[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1774png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1775png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Seriously, I'mma need an answer, they're decaying rather quickly.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-is-dumping-the-basic-wii-u-set-in-japan-292549.phtml]Nintendo is dumping the basic Wii U set in Japan[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1776png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1777png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You got "Mother of God" porn!?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1778png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] A porn video spoke to me once. It said very nice things to me.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1779png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1779extrapng-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-destiny-house-of-wolves-292545.phtml]Review: Destiny: House of Wolves[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1780png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1781png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1782png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...We meet again, my evil soap opera twin.

Welp, that's it!

Hey guys, that was a really fun edition of Comments of the Week! If you want to show your appreciation, then how about you do a little favor for me? No no, it doesn't involve unzipping pants. Well, that's not [b]quite[/b] true.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292766-1783V2png-620x.jpg[/img]

This is the Queen of the Reef. She's from the videogame [i]Destiny[/i], which means the vast majority of you haven't seen her. Apparently, the many porn sites I go to don't seem to have many pictures of her either (yet they strangely have a gender-bendered Eris Morn with deliciously thick curves), as I only managed to find a couple myself.

However, I'm just one person, and as the above Comments of the Week proves, many of you are unashamed perverts, and I want to use that to my advantage. If you [b]happen[/b] to see porn of this chick, please don't hesitate to send links and images my way. Again, I would totally appreciate it!

  read


3:53 PM on 05.21.2015

Hey, Dtoid! Here's 5 (More) Things about me! (NSFW)

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Hi there, it's your ol' pal Dreamweaver here to do a "5 (More) Things About Me!" blog! Because hey, that's what [b]everyone else[/b] is doing, right? Following the hip new trend?

...Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, I get it: it's because I only have 5 things instead of 10, isn't it? Well, truth be told, it was originally supposed to be 10 things, but I got a little carried away with some subjects more than others, so I figured that I would just cut out five and give me more room present my favorites ones. And yes, more than half of them are sexual. So, let's get started!

Well, I mean, [b]I'll[/b] be getting started, since all [b]you'll[/b] be doing is reading. It's not like you have any questions to [b]ask me[/b] or [b]anything[/b]!

[b]1 - I love the way cities look at night[/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings2jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

I see Occams asking this question to everyone (on random blogs), so I just want to mention what my favorite time of the day is: the night. For some reason, it's like the evening has a certain kind of charm to it. It's both quiet and serene, yet somehow still the perfect atmosphere for partying. And the darkness helps bring out a city's beauty: there's hardly anything more I like to do when I want to relax or get inspired than to look pictures of urban environments at night when all the neon lights are on, especially plazas and malls. Seriously, I wish I lived in a city with a view so I could just sit somewhere and watch cars drive by like fish in a river stream.

In videogames, if there's a controllable day-night system, then I always go out of my way to change it to nighttime. In fact, every chance I could, I always sleep when it's daytime in [i]Grand Theft Auto V[/i] so I could tackle the missions at night. This actually helps make some missions feel even better, like the one where Franklin and Lamar escape from the police raiding a warehouse, or when they go into Grove Street to do a drug deal. I especially do the same for [i]Sleeping Dogs[/i] since it's very clad in neon. It's a pretty annoying ritual to do though, and I just wish there was an "always nighttime" cheat code I could do instead. This is actually why I really like [i]Saints Row IV[/i]'s virtual recreation of Steelport: as much as people complained about it only taking place at night, I thought it was awesome to always see it set to my favorite time of day.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings3jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

I always wished to make videogames. Although I don't see that ever happening, there's one title I wanted to make if I ever got the chance. It was basically an "anime open world", kind of like [i]Yakuza[/i] (I never played it though) with a mix of [i]Jet Set Radio Future[/i]. It basically stars a character with amensia (I know, so original, right?) who joins a rebellion fighting against a band of government contracted mercenaries placing the city on lockdown. While I won't bore you with details, the entire game takes place on an eternal night, and the character would travel around with these neon-lit roller blades that streaks light when they grind by. I wanted to combine the addicting method of travel from [i]JSRF[/i] with an open city to explore, and the reason they use neon roller skates is because it supposed to be kind of like a "look coppers, I'm having fun, COME AND CATCH ME" type of attitude these characters possess. There's also more details I would love to talk about one day, but that deserves its own blog.

[b]2 - Pixie and Luna[/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings5jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

To either Pixie the Fairy or Luna Sy: if you stopped by this blog, you should probably skip over this section right now before you read anything you may regret... like how I had an [b]AWESOME THREESOME SEX DREAM WITH YOU TWO.[/b]

I'm sorry, caps lock was on and I forgot to untoggle that. And I somehow turned the bold text on even though you kinda can't do it on accident. Oh well, what's done is done, and it's not like I can delete text. Trust me, I tried.

But it's kinda true, I did have a sex dream with these girls (well, actually, I'm not even sure Luna is a girl, but that doesn't matter). I mean, technically, I had sex with their avatars, so really I had slept wth Pixie's Pixie from [i]Shin Megami Tensei[/i] games, and that one girl from [i]Pokemon[/i] that Luna rocks whose name I can't ever seem to remember despite looking at tons and tons of porn starring her. I called them by their Dtoid handles though, so it totally counts. You're probably wondering how it went. Well, "DEMANDING" more like (maybe except Luna and Pixie... but sorry, majority rules). So, the next part is completely true, save for the minor details that I can't remember because dreams.

Okay, so me and Luna was sitting on a bed in her room, and we were just hanging around like buds. Judging from the dialogue, I think we were dating, but whatever the reason, she got all horny (I like to think it's because of my swagger) and decided to get all up on me. She started kissing me on the lips and taking off my pants, but then she noticed that I stopped her. For some reason, I felt insecure about being a virgin, and I felt like I was totally gonna disappoint her. Gosh darn it, dream, DON'T BRING THAT STUFF HERE!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings45jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

But then, out of frickin' nowhere, Pixie the Fairy came into the room. She tried to cheer me up by saying that I could do it, like the nice little Pixie she is. She kept encouraging me, and telling me that there's nothing to fear. However, "dream me" is a total cop-out, and kept being shy about it. Eventually, she told me the truth, that she apparently needed me lose my virginity because she needed to do something with it. I don't recall exactly what it was, but considering Pixie the Fairy's obsession with [i]SMT[/i] games, I'm going to assume not very good.

So, anyway, Pixie was very adamant about me going through with it, and was willing to help me... by growing a big penis to take Luna from behind with. I can't remember HOW that was supposed to assist me, and believe me, I'm still trying (why didn't she just give ME the big penis?)... but we ended up sandwiching Luna. One part I DID remember was that I kept staring at Pixie's face for some reason, then Luna gave me that "bitch, who the hell you looking at?" look her old avatar used to have because it was an exact replica of their images.

Anyway, like every other part of the dream, the ending was foggy, but what did happen was we came inside Luna and then we all laughed about it as we sat on the bed together. Not in a "haha, Dreamweaver was so sucky in bed" kind of way (I want to believe at least "dream me" was a stud), but more like a "we had a hell of a good time" giggle. That's more or less where the dream ended, which I'm kinda glad, because I'm sure Pixie would've summoned, like, a giant demon to eat my penis or something. I can never tell what goes on in that head of hers. Luna also kinda scares me, but it might be the aggressive looking avatar.

[b]3 - Pegging, not to be confused with PEGI[/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings65jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

You know, if Pixie the Fairy had given LUNA the giant penis, I'd actually be okay with it. Not because I think Luna would totally rock the dick (I'm not sure if that's, like, an insult to chicks), but because I would kinda like to pegged.

Pegging is the sexual act of a woman wearing a strap-on having anal intercourse with a man. In order words, she makes him her bitch. I mean, I really don't understand my fascination with it, but for some reason, I really, really want that. I want for a woman to make me lick the strap-on, telling me I [b]better[/b] do a good job getting it wet, before pushing me over and ramming it into me. Hard. I also want to cry out in pain, and that she keeps telling me I better learn to take it because she's going to do this all night.

I don't know why but I get, like, the butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. If this was an anime, my heart be thumping and a blush be spread across my face. I don't know why, but I feel oddly interested in getting something shoved inside him. Though even if she's the one with the penis, I also want it to be missionary sex so I can see her face when she penetrates me, maybe she'll even lean over to reward me with a kiss on the lips. Or punish me by strangling my neck. Either or works.

[b]4 - I need the romance[/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings7png-620x.jpg[/img]

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I can't be aggressive or take charge myself. It's just... there's kind of the duality to me, like sometimes I get really hyper and need to see people fucking like horny sluts. I even have a select collection of images just for that, like this one of Palutena where she's spreading a gaping orifice big enough for someone to coat the inside her rear with cum without actually touching her anal rectum (we'll get to my gallery of Palutena tips one day). But then sometimes, I like to feel the romance. For example, if you recall from my last Cblog Recaps, I mentioned that I have a crush on Ravager from [i]Teen Titans Go![/i] However, I can't JUST tug it to her... I need a romantic setup. So, peep this:

Before I can... you know, I like to imagine we went on a date. So one night, she'd knock against my window and I'd open it for her. Instead of coming in, she sits on the window sill (she seems like the type) and asks me if I wanna hang. I tell her that it's late out, but she's all like "it's NEVER too late", then calls me a pussy if I don't. I don't want to be a pussy (which is funny considering what I said in section 3) so, giving into peer pressure, I decide to go with her. Since it's late, I don't know what there is to do, so I ask her what she has in mind, and she says she wants to play some videogames. I said we could've done that at home, but she wants to head to the mall's arcade. I tell her that it's gonna be closed, but she insists on going.

So we go there and we see that I was right: it was locked. She then takes out a sword, slash down the door, then answers back with "tch, seems open to me". Then when we head inside, she turns on the power and busts the coin machine for all the monies to come out. I say that this feels wrong, but she says if I'm so scared, that I can just sit back and watch her play. Peer pressured again, I figured since I've come this far anyway, we might as well take the quarters and play some games. We have a good time, joking about high scores and how her missing eye gives me the advantage.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings8png-620x.jpg[/img]

Of course, playing loud videogames at an arcade in the mall is bound to attract mall security. So after someone comes in and see the busted coin machines, we escape on foot. I think Ravager's either the type to ditch you or the type to not hang with you in the first place if you can't escape a simple guard... but whatever the case, my artistic intrepretation here is that she's a cool enough gal to help me out. So, we run through the mall (which is my favorite urban setting if you remember) and after we elude the guard, we kick back and laugh.

Then I be all excited because, being the goody two-shoes that I am, this was my first time breaking the law. Then Ravager turns to me and says "you wanna try something [i]else[/i] for the first time?" (because let's be honest, she could totally tell I'm a virgin). Then she leans all up on me, and that's when we finally have sex. I'll be honest, I kinda, sorta really do need that long setup in order to really get into it. I mean, like I said back in the recap, I really like Ravager because she has an awesome personality, and I don't want to think of her as just some random lay.

[b]5 - Porn spurs my creativity[/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings9jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Funny enough, this isn't the first time I've done that, which brings me to my next point: porn seems to fuel my creative passions. I don't remember if it really happened or not, but I could swear Barney from [i]How I Met Your Mother[/i] had this idea to combine porn with motivational posters, and I have to say I agree. I mean, just take any of the typical ones, change the wording or give it a sexual allusion, and it works. Like just post a picture of an erection and say "keep it up!" Or have a nerd standing next to a porn star and say "you can do her!" You can even have a woman being gangbanged and have a line forming in the back with the words "never give up". I'd buy that!

I actually even have trouble sleeping at night unless I imagine some kind of wild porn scenario. [url=http://gawker.com/horny-mom-threw-teen-daughter-a-naked-twister-sex-party-1697948520]Remember that awesome story[/url] about how a mom let her daughter throw a naked Twister party, had sex with someone in the bathroom, and then went to the living room to double penetrate herself with two dildos? I'm not even kidding when I say that (hopefully) true news article became my bedtime story for a week.

It's the reason why I like to look at adult entertainment while I'm on the computer: it help make things more fun to me and helps gets some creative juices flowing. I just... gotta be sure I don't actually get them "flowing", because then I get all sleepy and don't want to do anything.

Anyone else feeling really tired all of a sudden?

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292581-Dtoid5MoreThings10jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

Anyway, that's it for this little personal blog about me. I hope you enjoy reading and I hope I didn't disturb you guys too much! For anyone wondering the return of my more porn-y posts, let that last image be a hint as to what's to come. Me penis. :D

  read


6:04 PM on 05.18.2015

Comments of the Week - Monday surprise!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-161png-620x.jpg[/img]

Welcome back to Comments of the Week! I see that a few new members have been joining our little cult-like community (praise thee Gardevoir) so let me introduce to them what this series is all about. Well, I mean, I've been doing that every edition anyay, but no one really reads that. Anyway, Comments of the Week is a series where I collect the best of the best comments (that I personally saw, anyway) of a week and compile them all in one place. So whether you were M.I.A. or simply want to relive the glory moments, then this is for you. All the comments will be placed into categories:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: when the truth is real.

[b]LOL[/b]: when the laughs be loud.

[b]WUT?:[/b] when the mind be like "what...?"

In case you can't get enough, you can check out last week's edition [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-what-you-ve-been-waiting-for-291896.phtml]at this link[/url], and past editions on the bio to the right.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/a-pok-dex-of-game-journalists-that-only-lists-negative-traits--291880.phtml]A Pokédex of game journalists that only lists negative traits? [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-162png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-163png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The ride never ends.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-164png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm still waiting for the answer.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/fighting-game-streamer-has-his-equipment-stolen-291919.phtml]Fighting game streamer has his equipment stolen [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-165png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-166png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Ew, who would want the heart of a thief? It probably looks like a baboon's.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/iwata-says-no-nx-at-e3-291921.phtml]Iwata says no NX at E3 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-167png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-168png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] NXt a problem.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/this-post-explains-the-entire-mega-man-legends-copyright-situation-291931.phtml]This post explains the entire Mega Man Legends copyright situation [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-169png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1610png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, that's one ballot I don't want to "hand" in. Nyuk nyuk.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/movable-breasts-a-poem-for-hideo-kojima-291968.phtml]Movable Breasts: A poem for Hideo Kojima [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1678png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1612png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I jerked off to a period once. Wasn't pretty.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-the-witcher-3-wild-hunt-291344.phtml]Review: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1613png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1614png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1615png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yeah, I mean, what's going on there? Did you finally cave from the media blackout or something?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/axiom-verge-is-relatively-the-same-on-pc-with-one-helpful-upgrade-292084.phtml]Axiom Verge is relatively the same on PC, with one helpful upgrade [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1616png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1617png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Psh, I have that on a daily basis!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/-late-breaking-technical-issue-delays-destiny-s-latest-update-292127.phtml]'Late-breaking technical issue' delays Destiny's latest update [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1618png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1619png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] He would've loved the hear anything bad happen to [i]Destiny[/i]. :(

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-finally-spills-the-official-beans-on-the-silver-mario-amiibo-292138.phtml]Nintendo finally spills the official beans on the Silver Mario amiibo [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1620png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1621png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Conspiracy theory: scalpers are ChillyBilly agents placed all over the world to bring him amiibo.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/canadian-theaters-to-host-esports-events-292181.phtml]Canadian theaters to host eSports events [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1622png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1623png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'd make a joke, but eh.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1624png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's the most heinous thing they could do!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-is-putting-on-another-splatoon-global-testfire-event-292235.phtml]Nintendo is putting on another Splatoon Global Testfire event[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1625png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1626png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] You know that saying "better late than never"? Yeah, good luck trying to use that excuse.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1627png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Gosh darn it, Scoobie.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sexism-and-super-smash-at-press-start-lan-291866.phtml]Sexism and Super Smash at Press Start LAN [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1628png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1629png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Seems like they're so used to playing with their own joysticks, am I right?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/ark-survival-evolved-looks-like-day-z-with-dinosaurs-291936.phtml]ARK: Survival Evolved looks like Day-Z with dinosaurs [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1630png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1631png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1632png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1633png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If this joke is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/yep-yep-yoshi-s-woolly-world-still-looks-adorable-292001.phtml]Yep, yep, Yoshi’s Woolly World still looks adorable [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1634png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1635png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1636png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I like to imagine this happened during a board meeting.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/ubisoft-assassin-s-creed-syndicate-coming-october-23-292015.phtml]Ubisoft: Assassin's Creed: Syndicate coming October 23 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1637png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1638png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Shots fired!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1639png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I laughed more than I thought I would've.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/publishers-think-swery-s-next-game-idea-is-perverted--292018.phtml]Publishers think Swery's next game idea is 'perverted' [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1640png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1641png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn it, Luna!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1642png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That would be the most useful educational television ever.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-worst-part-of-the-90s-are-alive-in-this-splatoon-commercial-292051.phtml]The worst part of the '90s are alive in this Splatoon commercial[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1643png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1644png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I tried looking at it closely once and got cinnamon dust in my eyes, so I wouldn't recommend it.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/uncharted-4-faces-contain-crazy-numbers-of-bones-292072.phtml]Uncharted 4 faces contain crazy numbers of bones [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1645png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1646png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yet for some, it was just a Tuesday.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/FlanxLycanth/what-newbie-trigger-happy-mod-is-deleting-my-comments--292068.phtml]What newbie, trigger happy mod is deleting my comments. [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1647png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1648png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's always a fun option.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1649png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Gosh darn it, Kanye.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1650png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Poor vision? Well, you get what you paid for.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/indie-kickstarter-trolled-by-fraudulent-last-minute-7-000-euro-pledge-update--292118.phtml]Indie Kickstarter trolled by fraudulent last-minute 7,000 euro pledge (Update) [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1651png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1652png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I feel wrong for laughing, but I also would've made that joke.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/tmz-alert-nip-slip-in-the-witcher-3-cinematic-trailer-292158.phtml]TMZ Alert: Nip slip in The Witcher 3 cinematic trailer [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1653png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1654png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Give a hand of applause for Hancock lending a helping hand.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1655png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Don't even bother trying to go to the original article, it's just as disappointing as the screenshot.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1656png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1657png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Argh, I hate it when that happens!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/that-odell-beckham-catch-looks-way-less-impressive-in-madden-16-292164.phtml]That Odell Beckham catch looks way less impressive in Madden 16 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1658png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1659png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Looks like he was bending it like Beckham. Wait, wrong football.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/weekend-deals-witcher-3-galactic-civilizations-iii-up-to-28-off-292256.phtml]Weekend Deals: Witcher 3, Galactic Civilizations III up to 28% off[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1660png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] But is it still a trap worth falling onto?

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/rumour-guillermo-del-toro-s-production-company-creating-fallout-4-trailer-291924.phtml]Rumour: Guillermo del Toro's production company creating Fallout 4 trailer [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1661png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1662png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] "Squinting at girls in yoga pants." Er, are you sure it's urine coming out of people?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/male-gamer-faces-unwanted-catcalls-ogling-at-cooking-mama-competition-291900.phtml]Male gamer faces unwanted catcalls, ogling at Cooking Mama competition [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1663png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1664png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Women don't understand how hard we have it. And by that, I mean our penis. Because the majority of women don't have any.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/sega-calls-alien-isolation-sales-weak-at-2-1-million-291940.phtml]Sega calls Alien: Isolation sales 'weak' at 2.1 million [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1665png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1666png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Not "stupid sexy", stupidly sexy. Big difference.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1667png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1668png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Damn it, you ruined the image for us!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/bloodstained-ritual-of-the-night-fully-funded-in-less-than-four-hours-291955.phtml]Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night fully funded in less than four hours [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1669png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...That must be one hell of a hat.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/konami-plans-to-focus-on-mobile-games-from-now-on-292152.phtml]Konami plans to focus on mobile games from now on [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1670png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1671png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Damn it, Cannonball Steven!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nasty-virus-found-in-two-gta-v-mods-292189.phtml]Nasty virus found in two GTA V mods [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1672png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1673png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...He turns African American?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/four-indies-including-don-t-starve-are-invading-littlebigplanet-292237.phtml]Four indies, including Don't Starve, are invading LittleBigPlanet [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1674png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1675png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Please tell me you didn't turn Sackboy into a "Sackboy"...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/wildstar-might-be-going-free-to-play-in-august-292119.phtml]Wildstar might be going free to play in August [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1676png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-292382-1677png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I never trusted a Canadian. And they're a little [i]too[/i] close to America for my liking.

Alright, we're going to stop right here. As always, I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully we can meet again next week. Until then, be wary of Canadians. I think they're plotting something sinister.

  read


3:35 PM on 05.10.2015

Comments of the Week - What you've been waiting for

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-151png-620x.jpg[/img]

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another exciting round of Comments of the Week! I'm sure there's a Mayweather/ Pacquio joke in there somewhere but I'm not going to make it. Anyway, this series is all about showcasing some of the best comments said by the community this week, so whether you want to relive some of your favorite moments, or was simply gone while we carried on, then this is for you. Because I'm too lazy to make my own categories, every comment will be placed within these three:

[b]TRUTH[/b]: money makes the world go round.

[b]LOL[/b]: because the aliens pushing it won't do it for free.

[b]WUT?:[/b] if they go on strike?

Did you miss last week's edition? I don't blame you: it [i]was[/i] released [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dreamweaver/comments-of-the-week-it-was-just-a-tuesday-edition-291614.phtml]on a Tuesday[/url] after all. I know, Tuesdays, right? What's so special about those?

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Truth1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-heist-demo-for-project-morpheus-used-to-allow-you-to-shoot-yourself-291464.phtml]The Heist demo for Project Morpheus used to allow you to shoot yourself [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-152png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-153png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I think someone found a new home!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/final-fantasy-creator-promises-new-rpg-has-no-ideas-for-it-291508.phtml]Final Fantasy creator promises new RPG, has no ideas for it[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-154png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-155png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Pink hair: the female version of blue-balls.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-156png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If it was Capcom, you'd have to pay to unlock the ideas.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/how-come-toad-is-my-favorite-mario-character--291531.phtml]How come Toad is my favorite Mario character? [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-157png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-158png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The deadpan face just kills me.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-159png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn it, Script.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1510png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...I see what you did there.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1511png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If doing this is wrong, then gosh darn it, I don't wanna feel right!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/netherrealm-promises-huge-improvements-for-the-pc-port-of-mortal-kombat-x-291582.phtml]NetherRealm promises 'huge improvements' for the PC port of Mortal Kombat X [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1512png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1513png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Never trust a man named Boon.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/review-wolfenstein-the-old-blood-291497.phtml]Review: Wolfenstein: The Old Blood [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1514png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1515png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1516png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I think 8 is Germany enough.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/p-t-is-no-longer-available-for-download-even-if-it-s-already-in-your-library-291652.phtml]P.T. is no longer available for download, even if it's already in your library [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1517png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1518png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Dogs are man's best friend, and Konami's our worst enemy.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/this-chain-chomp-cat-bed-is-amazing-291670.phtml]This Chain Chomp cat bed is amazing [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1519png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1520png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's what they want you to think...

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1521png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That'd be frustratingly cute.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/i-m-seriously-considering-buying-this-modern-super-sonic-figure-291673.phtml]I'm seriously considering buying this 'Modern Super Sonic' figure [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1522png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1523png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yet ChillyBilly would still have one.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-is-back-to-making-a-profit-291728.phtml]Nintendo is back to making a profit [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1524png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1525png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Well, they made [i]P.T.[/i] Then took it down. That stings worse.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-at-st-will-be-playable-in-battlefront-291730.phtml]The AT-ST will be playable in Battlefront [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1526png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1527png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Only nerds will get that reference!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/have-you-had-any-problems-with-your-dualshock-4-controllers--291731.phtml]Have you had any problems with your DualShock 4 controllers? [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1528png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1529png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Yeah, I wonder if Carter plays videogames the way they do on TV. It's the only logical explanation as to how he's able to do it all.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1530png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I know what console I'd want in an apocalypse!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1531png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's disturbingly creepy! :D

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-plans-to-release-5-smartphone-games-in-2-years-291788.phtml]Nintendo plans to release 5 smartphone games in 2 years [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1532png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1533png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gosh darn you all.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1534png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't wait to one day make something and see all the bootlegs of it to come out. That's how you know you made it.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1535png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] It's true, he did.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Lol1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/microsoft-s-age-guessing-app-puts-dead-or-alive-fighter-at-12-years-old-291447.phtml]Microsoft's age guessing app puts Dead or Alive fighter at 12 years old [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1545png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1546png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That face -- or the lack of -- is just perfect.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1547png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Wait... does your scrotum have a face? Don't answer that.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Occams/hello-i-m-occams-ask-me-a-question-291505.phtml]Hello, I'm Occams. Ask me a Question [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1536png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1537png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] YOU BLEW IT!

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1538png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] If that's the end, I'd like to be dead by then.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/tweet-embedded-ms-dos-games-disabled-by-twitter-291468.phtml]Tweet embedded MS-DOS games disabled by Twitter [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1539png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1540png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Pixie burn. The seventh worst type of burns.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/steam-currency-issue-made-indonesians-rich-291472.phtml]Steam currency issue made Indonesians rich [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1541png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1542png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Oh boy, something to look forward to!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/for-some-crazy-reason-amazon-discounted-a-star-wars-the-old-republic-bundle-today-291518.phtml]For some crazy reason, Amazon discounted a Star Wars: The Old Republic bundle today [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1543png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1544png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Looks like this Photoshop got the five finger discount.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/id-software-wanted-to-pay-for-your-mods-in-1995-291567.phtml]id Software wanted to pay for your mods in 1995 [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1548png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1549png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I haven't done that in months either :3

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/ps4-sales-hit-two-million-in-the-uk-291577.phtml]PS4 sales hit two million in the UK [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1550png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1551png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...They're not. Least it wasn't an Xbox One.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/homophobic-and-transphobic-game-pulled-from-greenlight-291663.phtml]Homophobic and transphobic game pulled from Greenlight [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1552png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1553png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm sorry if this is wrong, but I couldn't resist laughing.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1554png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I can't lie, he has a certain charm to him.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/the-misadventures-of-tron-bonne-out-now-on-psn-291698.phtml]The Misadventures of Tron Bonne out now on PSN [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1555png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1556png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] The Misadventures of Bashtarle's cat.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/nintendo-has-shipped-10-5-million-amiibo-worldwide-291798.phtml]Nintendo has shipped 10.5 million amiibo worldwide[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1557png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1558png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1559jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I still think that's inaccurate.

[img]http://bulk2.destructoid.com/ul/user/4/40649-194573-Wut1jpg-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/weekend-deals-witcher-iii-project-cars-other-may-releases-291399.phtml]Weekend deals: Witcher III, Project Cars & other May releases [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1560png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1561png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1562png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Gajknight for president!

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/arkham-knight-s-batty-40-season-pass-includes-batgirl-campaign-291431.phtml]Arkham Knight's batty $40 season pass includes Batgirl campaign [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1563png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1564png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] All this upvoting is getting me upvoted... I mean my penis. Subtle.

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/-gamergate-get-together-sabotaged-by-threats-291436.phtml]#GamerGate get-together sabotaged by threats [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1565png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1566png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] Nah man, gotta see it in IMAX theatres.

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1567png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] That's the sequel to [i]The Last of Us[/i].

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/legendary-castlevania-producer-iga-seems-to-be-teasing-his-next-game-291576.phtml]Legendary Castlevania producer 'IGA' seems to be teasing his next game [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1568png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1569png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...Go on...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/ultra-rare-misadventures-of-tron-bonne-might-be-coming-to-psone-classics-291597.phtml]Ultra-rare Misadventures of Tron Bonne might be coming to PSOne Classics [/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1570png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1571png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/yoshimitsu-is-coming-to-tekken-7-291783.phtml]Yoshimitsu is coming to Tekken 7[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1572png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1573png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] ...That answer your questions?

[b]From [url=http://www.destructoid.com/that-marth-amiibo-restock-may-have-already-came-and-went-on-amazon-291855.phtml]That Marth amiibo restock may have already came and went on Amazon[/url][/b]

[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1574png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1575png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1576png-620x.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.destructoid.com//ul/user/4/42186-291896-1577png-620x.jpg[/img]

[b]Dreamweaver:[/b] I'm learning for the first time so many things aren't real... I need a moment to process this.

That's all for this edition, folks! Remember to keep on commenting, you lovably lugs, you!

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