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Hey! I'm a really cool guy. Get to know me. Usually you can find me hanging out with my friends, pretending to freestyle good, making up designs, creating movies or just sitting around. I have a thing for 8bit so I makeup sprite characters on occasion.

So yeah! Enjoy.

Following (14)  

...Oh wait.

Yeah. This is a screen cap of my Steam profile comparing the hours clocked in both single player (bottom) and multiplayer (top) for Modern Warfare 3. Just thought I'd put the debate to rest.

It's the first CoD I've actually purchased. Say what you will about this game being overhyped and overdeveloped. It's addictive as hell. And this is coming from an RPG guy.

5:55 PM on 05.15.2011

I was having a discussion with a fellow Dtoider and our conversation came to a halt when I made a confession. Something shocking and disgusting. Something so unseemly and devastating that anyone with a weak stomach might want to turn off their monitor, unplug and gut their computer and shove a live grenade inside it's hollow frame.

I don't particularly like Valve.

I just don't.

However, I won't sit here and tell you that I don't respect what they've built. In fact, I find Steam to be one of the best game platforms (or content delivery platforms, to be technical) of all time. When it comes to the games themselves? Meh.

Never been a Half-Life or CS guy. Don't find the mechanics of Portal appealing, and the humor is well overplayed. I appreciate the comic elements of Team Fortress 2 but as a game I find it somewhat underwhelming. Left 4 Dead was fun but still, I thought it decidedly overrated.

See, I find many who wish to stake claim to being hardcore, a representative of the gaming "elite", will often cite one of Valve's latest offerings as a title that they:

a) Are currently playing
b) Completed and loved
c) Can refer to (and recreate) at least several memes from


I get it. Valve supports indies! They're witty and unique! Steam will one day allow you to pre-purchase your cafeteria food so that your lunch money won't wind up in the pockets of an obese Ginger who goes by O'Doyle! I get it! Really!

Maybe it's the latest "geek chic" and "nerdtastic" trends brought to you by Aaron Johnson, Jesse Eisenberg, Michael Cera and the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory, but it seems like many have been trying extra hard to be part of the core gaming crowd, or as I like to call it the "Core Scene". However, it's all come to a head just recently with the release of...

*echo effect*

The buzz is undeniable. For a while, on my Facebook feed, gaming couldn't be mentioned without Portal 2 being within the discussion. Maybe I just know way too many gamers but it felt uncanny. Even for figures within the industry, I found sort of funny that Portal 2 was one of the only titles people have been motivated to talk about lately. Is Portal 2 honestly that incredible? Or is everyone simply riding the coattails of dying memes, trying to be a member of the hipster subculture that new media has created.

I don't know. I likely never will know if Portal 2 is actually that impressive. I didn't like Portal 1 and nothing I've seen of Portal 2 entices me all that much so the incentive to give it a try simply does not exist. However, if you approached me with the desire to have a conversation about it, I'd almost be anticipating every word. To me, being a real gamer means loving gaming in general and respecting every facet of the industry.

And hey, at least people don't think we all look like this.

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Not a day goes by where I don't wonder what the baby would look like if two of my favourite game journalists got down together. A few glasses of wine, a couple lit candles and some Seal playing softly in the background. It could happen.

It has happened. Enjoy.

And finally:

... Okay, not quite as handsome as I hoped. The pigmentation difference is kinda startling and there's some serious deadness in his eyes. Oh well! Here's crossing my fingers for the next one: Holmes and Long :D
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I'm going to forgo my normal introduction paragraph this time because in this post, things are different. This is a monthly musing post and therefore, I'm going to treat it differently. This is of course bearing in mind that people who read monthly musings may be different from the usual rag-tag crew of gentlemen I extort into reading my regular posts.

2010. Did it suck? That seems to be the general opinion. However, I feel a little differently. The year was dominated primarily by anticipation of Sony and Microsoft's new motion-control gimmicks and winded down into the usual Fall dogfight between several "triple-A" titles. That said, I submit to you that 2010 did not, in fact, suck. It was simply overwhelmingly and undeniably:

Sometimes at the end of a great video game year, I sit and reflect and think to myself, "Wow. That was awesome. I was in anticipation for 12 months straight. Now that's a tough year to follow." Now, my mental voice sounds nothing like Ted Williams but even I can remember that train of thought running through my mind about this time three years ago. The Wii was fresh and flashing us its bedazzled goods in the form of Metroid Prime 3, a game that proved to me that the whole motion thing could work just fine in the proper environment, not to mention Super Mario Galaxy later on that year. The 360 was still my console of choice, though. Bioshock on my lunch breaks, Halo 3 with my friends all night, and a truly epic Mass Effect marathon over Christmas break. Those were the good days.

So what happened in 2010? I, personally, came into the year with my hopes placed firmly on Final Fantasy XIII. Wherever you place that game on the series' lengthy spectrum, I can't say I didn't enjoy it. What else was there? Well, we all waited with eagerness to find out what exactly PS Move and Natal would bring to the table. The answer? Not much. When it came to software, neither Kinect or Move could provide an experience that was truly satisfying, aside from possibly Dance Central?

Now, I'm not taking a negative stance on 2010. Like I said at the outset, it only kinda sucked. Lets think of the highlights here. Firstly, there was this:

And lets think of games, here. Bayonetta was pretty good. Mass Effect 2 received lots of praise. MAG did alright and so did No More Heroes 2. Bioshock 2. Mega Man 10 was a blast. Super Mario Galaxy 2. God of War 3. ModNation. Red Dead Redemption. Alan Wake. Personal favorite, Scott Pilgrim and Bit.Trip Beat that I play near-constantly on my iPhone. Nintendo rocked Kirby's Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong and Warren Spector's Epic Mickey did better than I expected. Throw in the annual Call of Duty outing and Bungie's final ballad of the Halo franchise and you have a year lightly seasoned with some pretty cool titles.

For me, personally, I take advantage of years like this. Its a time to take a breath, pick up something new here and there but mostly, chip away at my giant back catalogue of awesome games from years past. Not exactly retro or classic but can you believe that before 2010 I never picked up Uncharted, let alone Uncharted 2?

If you're a gamer like me who is constantly updating himself on the latest news of this giant industry, its rare that you have a chance to sit and think back on the past because everything revolves around the current and what's to come. In this way, I think Destructoid would do awesome if they created a column dedicated to playing games that we, as a community, might have skipped over or forgotten. We hear enough about the mid-Summer/Fall big releases. I firmly believe that a real gamer can see the artistic value in all forms of this medium. Just like real movie buffs love watching old-school black and white films that a casual moviegoer would likely not enjoy, a real gamer can play games from any generation and have a great time doing it.

Anyways, to get back on-topic, 2010 kinda sucked. It kinda sucked when Bayonetta was gimped on the PS3 and it kinda sucked when Final Fantasy was gimped on the 360. It kinda sucked when Microsoft jacked up Xbox Live prices. It kinda sucked when Square Enix blew off Kingsdom Hearts 3. It kinda sucked when Realtime Worlds went under and it kinda sucked when Samus Aran's voice in Metroid: Other M reminded you of your ex-girlfriend! Okay, maybe a bit more than kinda. But, I hold on with a vice-grip to the belief that gaming is timeless. Even if 2010 had not one big release all year-long, being a gamer never sucks.

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I Was a Teenage Gamer is the weekly journal of an extremely competent young man pursuing his goal of becoming a staff member at his favorite independent gaming blog, Destructoid. Beginning on his 19th birthday, he embarks on the adventure of a lifetime while sharing his experiences and thoughts as a video-game addict and spilling blood, sweat, tears and a variety of other bodily fluids.

It feels like every time I put aside a set date for writing, something comes up. Between late night Pixel Bro gaming sessions, working, a going away party for a coworker and getting ready for a new semester, I had to push this update back a couple days.. However, I still somewhat made my goal of getting one out by this weekend. And anyways, I bet you don't mind. In fact, I bet you decided it was a nice vacation away from the miserable hassle of reading my blog! Well, its time to mount up and punch in. The clocks ticking and you're doing overtime.

CES 2011 came and went. As has Nintendo World. Its been a weekend chock-full of news and updates. I'm going to cover over a few of my favorite picks and tell you why everything I think is awesome is awesome and everything I think sucks does suck. Lets begin!


The Razer Switchblade is a new, concept design for a netbook computer that aims to bring high-quality, PC gaming experiences to a truly portable platform that is both functional and intuitive. When you think of gaming laptops you probably think of cumbersome, huge-screen devices that are more-or-less replacement desktops. Razer is looking to change that mental image.

No question, the Switchblade is sexy with all the finesse you expect from a Razer (who, if you didn't know, creates PC gaming accessories) product. It features a touchscreen display and a keyboard that dynamically switches the keys to suit whatever game you're currently playing. In a word: awesome.

If you're a laptop guy, like myself, you know that gaming is generally not practical on a notebook machine. The specs usually don't add up and to get a machine that does will cost you more than it would for a comparable desktop. And if you're buying it for that specific reason, why not just buy a desktop, anyways. The Switchblade might just be the game-changer to look out for.

Blazblue Continuum Shift II for the 3DS? Win. The lineup for this system is just growing out of control. Add this to my list so far of must grab titles: Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Kid Icarus: Uprising and Super Street Figher IV. Not to mention some of my RPG favorites, a new Kingdom Hearts, Tales of the Abyss, Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest are all on the way! *NERDGASM*

Its gonna be a good year in terms of releases, I know that much.


Seriously? Wii don't need this and neither do we. This has to be one of the dumbest Wii peripherals I have ever seen, and I've seen some dumb Wii peripherals in my time. Remember the Boxing Glove attachments? Yeah. Not even they can measure up to the stupi-

Before I go on. I should tell you what this is. Basically, CTA Digital, the people who brought you such amazing "Simulation Products" as the Wii Remote and Nunchuk Ping Pong Paddle set and the Wii Remote Bowling Ball attachment, have decided that people to need make even more space in their living rooms for their video game crap! Get ready to move your coffee tables, America! I give you the Inflatable Mario Kart controller. Does it let you rev the engine at the starting line!? Hell no! Is there any sort of force-feedback function for extra immersion!? NO WAY, IDIOT! The whole thing is just an elaborate Wii Racing Wheel with a cramped, uncomfortable seat attached.

Buy yours today! And while your at it, place all your money in a trash shredder!


Now, for some reason, I did NOT see this coming. For those of you who do not know, 3DS has been rated at three to five hours of battery life while playing 3D games. It makes sense in hindsight, given the amount of power it must use to display what is essentially two renders of a moderately detailed game and a third screen below, but still. Five hours? At most!? Thats harsh. Especially if you're like me, a person who has grown up with Nintendo handhelds and is used to doing hours of long gaming marathons at any given time. It hurts my soul just a bit.

In any case, a charger is going to need to be in my vicinity at all times when I pick this thing up. Here's hoping that 3D is worth it. Especially since it will apparently need about 3.5 hours for a full charge. I know this whole thing has put a dent in the anticipation train for some 3DS supporters but we'll have to wait till the thing hits the shelves before we can find out for sure how marred the experience really is.

Thanks for reading my post today, folks! In other news, the Chill Bros shirts finally shipped and that should make at least one guy I know very happy. Tell me what you liked or disliked about CES/Nintendo World/whatever-happened-to-you-this-weekend-and-is-slightly-relevant in the comments below!

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I Was a Teenage Gamer is the weekly journal of an extremely competent young man pursuing his goal of becoming a staff member at his favorite independent gaming blog, Destructoid. Beginning on his 19th birthday, he embarks on the adventure of a lifetime while sharing his experiences and thoughts as a video-game addict and spilling blood, sweat, tears and a variety of other bodily fluids.

Hey, everyone! No, your eyes did not deceive you. As the top header now mentions, ITG is changing to a new weekly format as oppose to a daily one that I had originally planned. Why? You want the truth!? It's because I can't stand you. Any of you. And I'm tired of telling you every freakin' detail about my life! FOR GOD SAKES!

Okay, enough overly used references. The idea to change Teenage Gamer over to a weekly segment was proposed by several commenters in my last post. And I have to thank you guys, genuinely! I wasn't sure if I was doing this whole thing correctly and it was even harder not knowing if the whole journal was even good enough to warrant people giving it that kind of attention. That any of you would even care so much to offer suggestions means a lot to me! So thanks!

Here's why a weekly segment is going to make a lot more sense:

Firstly, I will now have more time to write my articles out. Things were already squishy enough through the holidays with work, family/friend time and other projects. Now with school back on the playing field, I'm going to have to balance my time a lot better. By switching to a weekly segment I'm gonna have a lot more time on my hands and feel less stress and pressure through the year. Because a glorified diary is incredibly intense upkeep.

Secondly, by having ITG done on a weekly basis, the posts will be longer, higher quality and better thought out. I hate to admit it, but something deserving of a post doesn't necessarily happen to me everyday. That isn't to say my life isn't the amazing rollercoaster of high-octane thrills that my other posts have lead you to believe it is. Because it is. But you guys don't really need to know (and likely don't care) about everything I have to say on any-given topic. And those random video-game oriented thoughts I have throughout the day? Well, they generally aren't enough to mold into an entire blog post. However, I think a whole weeks worth of those thoughts would work out quite well. I'll also have more time to think things out and craft ideas that will actually be relevant to your interests.

Also, I don't want to flood the community blogs with low-quality, useless ramblings. That ain't cool. It also destroys all the remaining credibility (street or otherwise) I have on Destructoid. What I wanted for this series was something that hopefully, people might look forward to reading every now and than. Informative and interesting and somewhat well-written. Somewhat.

I know being an associate editor isn't easy. Writing for a living is not simple. When I see a ton of new content on the frontpage of Destructoid, I get really excited. I don't know why but I feel like I have to read every article, otherwise I feel like I'm wasting something. Probably because I am. I want to fully enjoy (was trying not to write "savor") everything that I can from this website. All of its content is important to me! And that includes everyone at the community. I'm not a huge commenter, and I think I should change that, but I love reading everyones posts. I remember when I first came to Destructoid and would constantly scour the Monthly Musing articles and I remember thinking, "How did they learn to write like this? Where do they get this from? I mean seri- ... Crap. My controller fell behind my bed again. Damn. Okay, reach. Reeaaach. Nice. Now my hand is stuck. OUCH!" Something like that.

I firmly believe Destructoid is home to the best blogging community on the Internet, gaming-oriented or otherwise. I'm super glad to count myself as part of your team! Also, my Pixel Bro, Chill Bro and fellow Captain "Thunder Thighs" Falcon, Azzerare made me this gorgeous theme for Google Chrome. Pink + White.


Also, expect a new Pixel Bros soon! We will do it, promise!

And expect my next post this Friday/Saturday and every Friday/Saturday after that! Leading right up to my birthday at the end of this year! Hope you all had an awesome holidays and heres to an amazing year.

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