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Draco's blog


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Draco avatar 7:44 PM on 12.30.2012
A NEW BLOGGER APPEARS!




[An introductory post…]


Greetings and salutations everyone! O and I forgot… {Replace the D in Duck} YOU!{Luck of course!} Yep, here comes a new hack job, wannabe writer attempting to blog about videogames, the perpetual existentialistic crisis that is the chronological skid-mark of my life, cartoons, Japanese cartoons, the fully “developed” “females” featured in Japanimation {Otakus bite me}, my exploits to kidnap Hideo Kojima/Cliff Bliszinski to breed a chimera hybrid to be called the Kojinski, the brilliance that is the wii zapper/vitality sensor, and what is probably kin to none but a miserable pile of little secrets {you get a cookie from the bowls of my grease caked innards if you get the reference}, and by secrets I mean the chocolate, partially digested, muddy excrement that comes after a night of binging mountain dew whilst inhaling a side of Keighly endorsed but actually, har, har, not, Halo branded not-so-nacho-cheese Doritos {“pathetic attempt at topical humor” }. If you’ve made it this far and have not already vomited from visual feast of vernacular spittle and forced comedy present, GET OUT NOW! It’s not gonna get any better than this {And, honestly man, seriously re-evaluate what you’re doing with your life} With a most likely ill-informed, if not biased, contrived persona of self-deprecating humor, a presumptuous, pedantic, privileged, pandering, did I mention pathetic, voice of “reason” I will endeavor to post semi-annually my thoughts and perspective on the greatest contraceptive yet crafted to maintain young/middle-age basement dwellers virginity: videogames.

Okay...I’m tired, need a swig of mtn. dew….

I am {insert internet anonymous age here} year old who, well, loves playing games {more than women, but not the 2d japanime ones} and who’s only modicum, mote of talent lies in the ultimately utilitarian useless medium of writing {I still love it…not more than the 2d japanime chicks though}. If anyone’s still reading this, first of all, you’re a masochist, second of all pat yourself on the back, hope you had a timer on hand for how much time clocked wasted on this post. But, in all sardonic sincerity left rotting in my lipid-encrusted heart, I’ve always wanted to write about games, and thought a blog would be best start. I don’t, nor have a large enough pulsating, sweaty, vein writhing, odiferous wafting, “ego” to consider myself an “expert” by any means, I’m anything but, but I do have an cardiac-clogging passion for videogames, the artform as a whole {a surely to be platitudinous blog post that seems inevitable for a different time} and, with the magic of the internet, a pedestal to preach my “opinions” {if you can call my urine stream of conscious style splatter a sorry excuse for writing}. Rambling on, expect a plethora {by plethora I mean probably weekly, monthly if we are lucky} of posts from original pieces, reviews, impressions, an ever updating saga of Kojinski cloning, etc. all about vid gamez {O, yeah, this is here to stay too} . Comedy, drama, laughs, cries of joy, ridicule, if anyone happens to read em’ and if someone is in the slightest, even on the molecular, subatomic, scale entertained/informed/provoked, thank you, hopefully it wont be a complete waste of your time. Anywho, I will publish a real post soon…eventually…maybe…hopefully…

-Draco

 
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