Join Dr. Light Ate your Magicite on a brand new textual adventure as he tackles game length, the most prominent and dastardly advertising bullet point in modern gaming!

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If there's one thing that pisses me off about games lately, it's the advertised "60+ hours of gameplay!" Why is that a selling point? Aren't we playing these games for enjoyment, for an engrossing story, for the satisfaction of developing a new gaming skill, or perhaps a little enlightenment? Why aren't those the focal points? Are we as gamers so bereft of a reason to play video games that we'll throw down the money for any game so long as it promises to serve as a time sink? Why do we continue to scrutinize over length when the game in question delivered a worthwhile experience? How the fuck is the phrase "Over 60+ hours" even acceptable? It's like saying ATM Machine or PIN Number. Redundant phrase is redundant.

(deep breath)

In the past, a game might be advertised as "xx megabits" in size, which may be seen as pulling the same stunt, but a game's physical size could mean anything. That memory could have been spent on enhanced graphics, additional soundtrack or more gameplay - the point is, it wasn't emblazoned across the game as if to say "this game is awesome because you'll spend 10 hours doing something interesting, and 45 hours grinding through repetitive tasks!"


With the advent of optical media in console gaming, we were introduced to the 'no limit' format, where a game was no longer restricted to the size of proprietary ROM cartridges. For PC gamers, this meant we were finished with loading games from 12 3.5" floppy disks. In either sense, nearly every component of a game was greatly expanded as a result. Since a game could now be spread onto an entire CD-ROM, or even a few, graphics and sound weren't sacrificed for length, and vice versa. But for all the good that this step in evolution brought, it also allowed games to be superficially inflated, hindering a player's progress with asinine sidequests and extraneous cutscenes. Jump ahead to the current formats, and the problem continues to grow.


What infuriates me is seeing people gripe and moan that Lost Winds was only a few hours long, or that Portal would have been a better game had it lasted longer. These are good games, and in Portal's case, a fantastic game. They were even priced accordingly, and yet people find room to bitch. And why? Because we're fucking greedy. We get a great experience, something we've never played before, and the first thing we do when it's over is hold out our grubby hands and expect more.


Our enjoyment should not be quantified by the amount of time spent, it should be based on (novel idea) the amount of enjoyment we attained by playing the game. I don't care that Lost Winds was over in three hours because I had a blast playing it, and have gone back several times since. And that isn't to say a large length is a bad thing, but it shouldn't have become the selling point, because it encourages developers to be lazy and deliver games with potentially solid foundations that are mired by repetitive sequences and unnecessary filler. I loved Assassin's Creed at the start, but hated it by the end and just wanted to complete it because I'm an obsessive game and have the urge to finish any game I start. And that's not even really that long a game, but it still manages to become incredibly tiresome by the closing chapter.


The usual argument is that one wants to get their money's worth when buying a game, that less than ten hours is unacceptable when paying more than $50. Well, my thought is that I'm in the business to have fun, to experience something new, maybe even something that will rile my emotions or thoughts in some way. In short, I'm in it for good content, and I don't care if it takes an hour or fifty hours to get it. Five hours of gaming bliss is still bliss - the length of time taken shouldn't negate that. And the fact is, over saturation of anything is bad, even for a game concept that started as fun and original.


Downloadable Content: Length and MMoRPGs.

Anyone who might scroll down to my gaming collection entry would probably note that I play MMoRPGs, and may insinuate that it's hypocritical to argue that length shouldn't be a selling point when I play games that never end. To that, I say there is an entirely different way to enjoy a game such as World of Warcraft that eludes most people. I've been playing WoW since closed beta, and bought the release version on launch day. It took me about two years to get my first character to level 60, because I play in small sittings. I log on occasionally, do a few quests and mostly immerse myself in the world.


When I played Dark Age of Camelot, it was the same deal, except that I played for the Realm vs. Realm content (think MMoRPG capture the flag/deathmatch). Playing these games like one would play Halo is indeed a fruitless endeavor because there isn't a set path for one to traverse. I see people try to tackle every dungeon, complete every quest, and I think they miss the point altogether. These games allow a player to escape into a persistent world and explore at their leisure, and the first thing most gamers want to do is dominate. So in terms of length, if I play WoW for a half hour every day and get to escape into another world, my money was well spent.


I'm Dr. Light Ate your Magicite, and I leave you with a quote that inspired this entry.
Hobbes: "What's the point of attaching a number to everything you do?"
Calvin: "If your numbers go up, it means you're having more fun."

I know what you're thinking, of course an old tennis game for an old console would be rightfully forgotten - after all, there's certainly countless other tennis games just like this one right? Well, not quite. In fact, I would be surprised if there is any other tennis game akin to the Turbografx-16's World Court Tennis. Before I dive in, I apologize in advance for the screen cap quality; I took these directly from my TV, and my digital camera, and corresponding camera skills, are average at best.


Start the game up, and you're treated to a pretty standard title screen. Nothing out of the ordinary yet right?


In fact, watching the demo that literally starts one second after the title screen flashes, it'd appear that this game is a standard, nondescript launch title.


The third mode listed betrays the secret of World Court Tennis. That's right, you're playing a Tennis/RPG hybrid. So let's fire up a new game and see just what possibly the world's only tennis RPG has to offer.






I had drafted a paragraph describing your quest, but I just can't steal Good King Tennis' thunder. That gibberish you see floating over his head is your password, and he's the only one who can provide it. That means you'll be making the trek back to the old king frequently to jot down that nightmare of a password. Anyway, he does a good job setting you up for your quest, but just in case it isn't clear, here's what the manual has to offer:

Quest Mode - Get Ready for All-new Tennis Adventure!
Once upon a time, there was a peaceful, tennis-loving land. But one day, an evil Tennis King appeared and made off with all the prize money that had been won by the people in tennis tournaments. On top of that, he used his evil followers to set up tennis courts based upon a membership system, under which hardly any of the people could play!

But now, there is someone who can overthrow the bad Tennis King. That "someone" is you!

Setting off from the court of the Good King Tennis, we see the city overworld. Well, it definitely resembles Dragon Warrior, and is in line with the graphic on the mode selection.



So what might this fair city be named? Tennisville? The White Court? Racketown? Nope, this land is known as Chicago, which as well as know, has always been renowned as the tennis capital of the world. The first building you come to in this sprawling land of 5 houses is the shop.



Here are the three equipment slots in World Court Tennis. Better shoes make you run faster on the court, better rackets have more power, and better shirts...well, actually I'll save that for later, because it will make a lot more sense then.

You can't really explore these houses, they just house NPC's who provide such nuggets of information as:



Thanks there Bob, never would have guessed that. The hell with these Chicago yokels, it's time to head out and fight some monsters...er play some Tennis.



Like the town screen, the overworld bears a striking resemblance to Dragon Warrior. The terrain is water, trees, hills, mountains, and grass. You wander around, crossing the occasional bridge going from town to town. But wander too much...



These are the random encounters. Choose yes, and you play a one-match tennis game. This is where the game plays like any other tennis title.



It's actually a very good tennis game. The control is tight, the physics are great, and the graphics are very pleasing for a game of the era. At at one-game matches, you are usually in and out of a match in a couple minutes. You may have noticed that the challenger does give you a choice. This is where the shirt comes into play. If you have a low grade of tennis shirt, and try to say no to a challenge, you're likely to see this:



I guess if you have a class A shirt, the evil tennis player is so enamored by your designer shirt that they become docile, and you just get a friendly exit.



So what happens if you accept the challenge (or get pushed around into one) and lose? Well, you don't die, but you basically go through the same routine as thought you had. You end up back at the King's court, where he offers these words of encouragement:



He also gives you some paltry amount of money, usually $100 - as opposed to the $1500 you get from winning the early matches. So even if you lose a lot, you can use the King's donations to buy better equipment right?



Yeesh. It looks like inflation has taken a toll on the good kingdom of Chicago.




This world actually is quite large, and as is normal in older RPG titles, sometimes you'll be taking random encounters every step. Thankfully, the game does have a sort of magic, in the form of the warp spell. Each time you visit a new city, you gain the ability to warp to it automatically. Here is a quick list of what Tennis Kingdoms will eventually be open to you.



And way later, you do gain a mode of transportation. Most RPG's use the airship as the standard world-cruising vehicle. But what would World Court Tennis take, with its ass-backward time period?



Why, an innertube, of course. A generous old Tennis guru donates it to you late in the game, and it allows you to traverse the open seas. Luckily, there are no aquatic tennis courts, so once you have the tube, exploration becomes much easier. And really, you don't need to earn as much money as you'd think. Sometimes the game either glitches or you just get lucky, and a match will net some outrageous cash amount. Early on, you're lucky to get $1800 for a win - even then, 5 matches and you can upgrade, but one time I received a whopping $6800 for a match, which you can see it in the video posted at the bottom. And while the tennis gameplay is solid, the upgraded equipment is a little spotty. Shoes do make you run fast, but it's like the speed boost in a shmup: you definitely want a moderate boost, but get the maximum and suddenly you're out of control. Rackets tend to be more unpredictable. You get a harder swing, but it totally changes the timing needed to keep the ball from going out of bounds, so after buying a new racket, expect to be faulting all the time. That leaves shirts, which only serve to avoid battles.

Before I wrap it up, I have to bring up the music. It is so campy, so happy, and so damn cheesy that you can't help but get into it. The overworld music cracks me up every time, when you pair it up the fact that you're going on a tennis adventure. And the encounter music sounds so dastardly, with a hook that would make the vilest of Disney villains proud. Speaking of the villains, their portraits range from average looking Tennis guy/girl to incredibly bizarre.



Sometimes they'll have a piece of headgear.



Funny hair lines...



Sometimes the Good King apparently takes off the crown and has a go at you...



Sometimes they have...good god! What the hell is wrong with that guy's mouth?



But this is by far my favorite. Sadly, he doesn't have the mask on when you get to the Tennis court.

After travelling the world and defeating all the Tennis bosses, which basically involves finding tennis courts on the map and playing 3-match games with more randomly generated villain faces, you can hop on your tube and track down evil King Tennis to his island lair.



Now the entire game's cast of evil doers has been these average people with the occasional freaky mouth or hockey mask, so does their leader follow suit?



That's right, you're facing an actual tennis monster here. Actually, he might be the evil brother of the shopkeeper. I swear that palette looks familiar...



And he's tough as hell. So tough in fact, that I've never beat him. I've had this game for near 20 years, and I've never beaten him. Just to give you an idea, I've also added a video of my most recent attempt below.

Well that about does it for the quest mode of World Court Tennis. While it would be tempting to consider it a parody, or joke on the RPG community, everything comes across as genuine and earnest, like it was the dream of some developer who had dual loves of Tennis and RPG's, longing for a day when he could combine his chocolate and peanut butter.



For what it's worth, the game is actually pretty fun. A tennis game by itself is nothing especially exciting, but when mixed with RPG elements, suddenly you have an addictive little package. I contend that World Court Tennis should not be forgotten, because even if you aren't drawn into the hybrid gameplay, you'll probably find plenty to laugh at. Hell, this game even gave you the choice of playing as a female protaganist. For 1989, that was pretty cool.



Plus there's some funny easter eggs in the game as well, such as what your name becomes if you don't enter anything at the start:



Video clips
If you'd like to see the game in action, I took a couple of video clips as well. The first is some basic gameplay; I mostly wanted to share the music, because it really does bring the experience together. The second shows why I've never been able to beat this game.

Quest Mode Gameplay
Evil King Tennis is Impossible

I'm Dr. Light ate your Magicite, and

Oh fine. Lousy Tennis villains.

A gamer's collection and setup is a window into what sort of gamer he or she may be. With that in mind, the following string of photos are a quick insight into what sort of gamer I am. There are some missing items, most notably my 360 and games: the former is under repair, the latter is currently on loan to a friend until the system returns. But for the most part, this is a good snapshot of what I've kept over the years, plus a cat who kept wandering in and out. Each photo can be clicked to view the full sized version.



Here is the unexploded view; the currently active systems, games, and accessories are neatly tucked away for the most part.



Unfortunately, I just don't have enough room to keep all media available at all times due to space constraints, and as such, a majority of items reside in this nearby closet.



As you can see, with almost everything dragged out, my little living room becomes just a little cluttered. Now, for some closeups...



My NES games and accessories. Most of the games in cases have their instruction manuals, and most have my last name written on the back, as was the custom in the day. We traded the front loader and original controllers towards the cost of the top loader when it first came on the market. I wish we had kept it now, but at the time, being able to actually play games on the first try was paradise.



My N64 wheel. Not much to say here, other than to apologize for my penchant to arrange things in a thoughtful manner.



Yes, I own a Virtual Boy, and I still break it out once every couple months for one reason: it's fun. People really look down on this thing, and I would never argue it should have succeeded, but in spite of all that, Teleroboxer is still a blast. I haven't yet found a boxing game so satisfying. Maybe if another game comes along where I can beat the gears out of robots and block throwing stars with my fists that has the same fluid controls, I'll finally box the VB up, but until then...



Likely my favorite part of this whole estate. I love me some TG-16, and would sell a great many things before letting go of my ability to play Blazing Lazers on that magnificent stick.



A zoom on my SNES titles.



PSX and my meager Dreamcast selection. Sadly, I had a good handful of DC titles at one point. They were in storage at my dad's house, and while bringing back some boxes, I stopped for a bite to eat. I chose my eating location poorly, because shortly after, I was relieved of 11 DC games and some other stuff that was in the box. The surviving titles were in another box that was still in storage.



This is why I keep two PSX's. The top one was actually free, given to me by a poor soul who didn't know about turning the unit upside down. It reads considerably better than the other, which works out nicely. Also the bottom unit may or may not contain a certain chip.



My handheld collection. I sold my original GB to put towards the pocket. Like the NES, I wish now I hadn't been so hasty, but at the time, there was no alternative, because the old bulky GB couldn't be as easily concealed as the pocket while racking up the 180 hours I put into Pokemon Red throughout my freshman year of high school.



Gamecube, DS, and Wii titles.



If I had a crown jewel in my collection, I suppose this would be it. Everything here is in great shape, and the box still includes the Nintendo Power and Square literature.



This photo shows the poster side of the maps that were included, along with another Office DVD, which seem to be working their way into a lot of pictures.


Onto some items that weren't in the grand photo...


My soundtracks in their natural habitat.



And as seen from the front.



Some rather old PC titles. Not shown is FFVII, because I can't for the life of me find the oversized box it came in.



Some more recent titles. DAoC was my drug of choice until...



...this happened.



This is my gaming PC. The machine seen in the first pic primarily plays some...alternative software. This one actually looks much more impressive than it really is. I won't embarrass myself by posting the specs, but let's just say it was top of the line...at one point.



And here's a pile of magazines. The box is mostly Nintendo Power and Game Informer from the early to late 90's, but there is also some Game Players, EGM, TIps and Tricks, GamePro, and some Guidebooks. I pulled out a few, but didn't really want to start digging. All of my PC Gamer demo discs were also in here, but I couldn't find the box with the actual mags.


Lastly, here's a picture of Sonic I drew for a first grade art project, found in the magazine box. I later attached the Star Fox sticker from a box of cereal...not sure why.


I'm Dr. Light Ate your Magicite, and I hope you enjoyed this brief tour into my gaming world.

On my introductory post to the forums here, I mentioned it would be a long and eloquent soliloquy to fully describe why I feel that a video game from around the 16 bit era is a movie and a book in one package. Since, I've taken a few moments to actually conceive said soliloquy.


Consider the imagination one uses when reading a good book. For the sake of common ground, I'll use To Kill a Mockingbird for reference. The book provides minimal descriptions of Maycomb, mostly hinging on the descriptor of it being a "tired old town". The reader mentally fills in a portrait of the land, the houses, and the people as the story progresses, and it's likely that no two readers are envisioning the same Maycomb or Boo Radley while reading this book. Whenever dialog is written, it's a fair assumption that even with written depictions, each reader is hearing a different Atticus Finch defending a separately interpreted Tom Robinson. And finally, there is a probable certainty that all these imaginings are strikingly varied from what Harper Lee had in mind when she penned the novel.


Now let's look movies in comparison. When a book is adapted into a movie, the first complaint any reader usually has is how the movie glossed over segments, left others out, and altered characters or settings. A movie is a compressed form of art in that it leaves out the extensive aspects of a book, but in return, a movie is able to give voices to characters, imagery to scenes, along with a musical backdrop. Again for common ground, consider The Matrix. The viewer is given vivid imagery into the story, both in characters and locations. However, many characters are killed before they are given any depth, and much of the history is merely implied. These are things that would be expected from a novel, never a movie.


A video game, such as Earthbound, completes this trifecta by providing an encompassing visual world but not one as visceral as a single movie scene, a musical backdrop but no character voices, and extensive dialog from non-player characters but little to none from the mainstays, With Earthbound, the interactions between Ness and his party are largely up to the player. These characters are only developed by subtle implications. My favorite, and incidentally what kick-started my thoughts on this topic, is when Jeff is first introduced. His friend Tony tells how he was just dreaming of the two of them walking in the park. Just as a character's voice can be heard many different ways, this piece of dialog could be worlds apart for each player.


From that one segment, I imagined Jeff and Tony in a relationship, but forced into secrecy, as it would be considered taboo in their strict boarding school. Something as a simple walk in the park, not caring who saw them together, was all they wanted, and yet could not have (as a small aside, the letter Tony gives to Ness later on always tears me up). A friend of mine took this moment as them being childhood friends, and the walk in the park being a fond memory from years past. Another took it as misplaced prophecy that they would be breaking out of the school, yet only Jeff was able to leave. In any sense, it has been the prime example as to how a video game, a visual form of entertainment and art, has similar interpretative tenacity as a good book.


A good secondary example would be Ness's dad. One player might take him as a travelling businessman. I took him as a divorced father, a mere voice on the phone to Ness who always tried to compensate for his absence with money. When Ness is homesick, he calls his mom, not dad, for comfort.


Beyond the characters, the world of Earthbound can clearly be seen, but in a primitive way. For instance, Ness's house has two bedrooms, one for him, one for his sister and none for his parents with a sparse first floor. Most of the houses in the game are similarly designed, many not making any spatial sense. This is a visual equivalent to a paragraph in a book describing a house. The reader/player is only given a basic sketch, and has to put the rest together on their own. Concerning battles, a movie would show a fast paced skirmish, never dwelling on any tactics or assessments, which is where a book would specialize. But with the game, the tactics are up to the player, and the graphics are minimal, so it stands as a little from both worlds.


And that really is where the video game falls: snugly between the book and movie. This is what gives a game such as Earthbound more depth than a movie, and the visual aids a book is lacking, but still retaining the freedom of interpretation. The current era of video games tend to veer more towards movies, with cut scenes, voice overs, and less opportunity for imaginative freedoms. I do not mean that as an absolution, but it certainly is a trend. A game such as God of War (a fantastic series by all rights) has more in common with The 300 than it does with The Iliad, with Kratos being a simplified Achilles. But that aside, a good video game to me is the best of both worlds between book and movie, and this crossbreeding is what makes me so passionate about them.


I'm Dr. Light ate your Magicite, and this was my first post.