Quantcast
Community Discussion: Blog by Dr Rainbow | Dr Rainbow's ProfileDestructoid
Dr Rainbow's Profile - Destructoid






click to hide banner header
About
STOP EATING MY SESEAME CAKE

(note: English in not my first language, so expect some "poor literacy is kewl" in my blog)
Badges
Following (16)  


:many months later:

H-hey guys, long time no see. I've been busy with some stuff, so I didn't contribute anything to c-blogs for a while. That's why I decided to at least go back to posting my stupid drawings here. Lately I've been playing a lot of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. This fantastic game inspired me to draw a little picture of fists, electrolytes and japanese hieroglyphs. If you'd like to wear this design as a T-shirt, please tell me in the comments, and I'll contibute it to the Destructoid store. Of course, there is no guarantee that it'll work, but at least I'd like to give it a try, and your positive feedback would really help me out.



Stay classy, D-toid
Photo








2012 has been an amazing year and I donít think gamers appreciate it enough. It is no secret that weíre standing at the end of this generation of consoles. To me 2012 is the last ďstrongĒ year for Xbox 360 and PS3. In 2013 weíre probably going to move on to the next HD consoles. Of course, it doesnít mean that this is the end for PS3 and Xbox 360. There are a lot of interesting games coming out in 2013 for these platforms, but Iím afraid the main focus will be at the soon to be announced next gen. I hope Iím wrong, and 2013 will be another incredible year for our still strong PS3ís and 360ís.



Right now is perfect time for gaming. We got retro-esque games and hd-re-releases, sequels and completely new and original games. It doesnít matter if youíre an old school gamer or just getting into gaming, right now the industry is at its strongest, and you as a player have the most options. Sure, there is still a lot of bullshit in the gaming industry, but it was so much worse before. At the same time, Iím not sure what to expect of next gen consoles and that kinda scares me. I love my Wii U, but it is more of the same thing as the current-gen consoles, so I donít really think of it as a true next-gen, at least yet. I guess weíll just have to wait and see. But for now, letís concentrate on the good things.
This list contains only new games Ė games released in 2012 (well, duh). It is not my Top 21 best games of 2012 list or something like that, just my short impressions of all the new games Iíve played this year.

(Warning! This list is very picture heavy)



Now that is just a terrible way to start a year. Amy is actually the first game Iíve played in 2012 and I still have a bad aftertaste. Paul Cuisset has created a very unique piece of dog shit, and, I think, his masterwork is the only game on this list that truly deserves a score of JUST DONíT DO IT out of ten.



Mutant Mudds is no award-winning game or even a game that will be remembered for too long, but it was a simple, yet fun platformer. And I donít regret a single minute Iíve spent on it.



Well, itís definitely better than Final Hallway XIII, Iíll give you that, but it is still not nearly as good as FF6 or FF7. I know it is kind of unfair to judge a game by its previous installments, but FUCK THAT, Iíve had enough. I stopped caring after FFX. Once legendary series has become a fuck fest of scenery chewing monkeys with impossible hair and mediocre, lame, uninspired gameplay. And the saddest part is Ė Iím not even angry, I just donít care anymore.



When I first heard about NeverDead, I thought ZIS SHIT GOT POTENSIAL. Suda51-esque game by Rebellion and Konami? Count me in! I still desperately want to like this game, but it is not very good. It is not very good, at all. NeverDead is fucking dead.



Am I the only one who thinks that the Old Snake shouldíve been in this game instead of Ezio? Ah, who cares? And who cares about SoulCalibur at this point?



It is weird how The Darkness II feels like a real comic book-to-videogame adaptation, while the original Darkness by Starbreeze Studios is more like a gritty and serious film version of the comic book. Despite the sudden visual style change, in my opinion, The Darkness II is a superior sequel. I appreciate the storytelling of the original game, but as a whole it was a very clumsy and not very enjoyable experience for me. I may be in the minority here, but I think The Darkness II is a better game overall.



For some reason Iíve bought this game twice. I guess it shows how much I liked it or I just forgot I already own the game like a retard and bought another copy. NOPE, NOTHING. Anyway, itís probably one of the most played games for me this year. The combat system is great, and the world of Amalur is so generic, yet comforting and beautiful. Just thinking about this game, makes me want to spend another 30 hours punching lizards with tits. Too bad 38 Studios is no more.



This is as close as we can get to the old school RE games this year. Out of all 3ds titles that came out this year (not that many, really), RE Revelations has the most options and content squeezed into the tiny cartridge. And I just really like the game. Who knew that it will go only downhill for RE from here.


Shank 2 is almost exactly like the first one and I thought the original Shank was quite good. So, I liked this one as well.



The third installment in the Rhythm Heaven series controls more like the original GBA game, which is awesome. Thatís right, there are no motion controls aside from menu selection. I liked you, Waggle, but I think it is time for you to go. Rhythm Heaven Fever is absolutely charming rhythm game and one of the best Wii games, despite being kinda late to the party. If you want to sit in front of your TV and smile like youíre actually happy with your life, you should play this game. By the way, I donít know why it is called Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise in Europe. Like whatís the fucking mystery?! The previous one was simply called Rhythm Paradise. Why do you need this ďBeat the BeatĒ part? The word ďFeverĒ is suddenly too extreme for you? WHAT?



Why every goddamn reboot nowadays is always a dark and gritty version of the original? And how do you make a dark and gritty reboot of Twisted Metal? You know, the game that is already pretty fucking dark and gritty! Because of that, the game just feels weird to me. Itís like a movie adaptation or something. The same thing happened to me when I was playing Castlevania Lords of Shadow. Itís got nothing to do with anything from the previous installments, and the characters are just alternative reality versions of themselves. It would be fine for a movie, but itís supposed to be a game. Goddamit! Why does it bother me so much? Oh, and Twisted Metal itself was fine.


I can understand why people hate this QTE-fest. Iíve had a pretty frustrating experience with the game myself. But at the same time, I have fond memories of playing it. Asuraís Wrath is like Heavy Rain, only better. While Heavy Rain pretends to have a smart, thought-provoking narrative, Asuraís Wratch just derps and shits its pants in the most glorious way possible. Itís stupid, okay. But it is honest about it. Playing this game reminded me of being lazy on a Sunday afternoon and watching some really bad anime on TV. You know, the shit you wouldnít watch under normal circumstances. I feel like thatís what the game was trying to be Ė stupid and exciting anime. Sure, itís also supposed to be a game, but I donít mind QTEs, so I enjoyed most of it. On the other hand, if youíre not a fan of that sorta thing, stay as far away as possible.



A lot of games made me buy a 3DS, but one game that decided it all was MGS: SE 3D. While I enjoyed the new features, low frame rate pretty much killed all the magic of playing Snake Eater on a handheld for me. Itís not that bad, but Iím very sensitive when it comes to performance issues, so it is quite a disappointment for me.



While most people were calling Syndicate reboot less than splendid, I kinda liked it. By no means a great game, but it is at least enjoyable. You can do all sorts of cool things with guns while listening to WUB WUB WUB. Thatís good, I guess.



Alan Wake is one of those special kind of games to me. I donít think I will ever forget my first playthrough. American Nightmare, on the other hand, fails to recreate the same magic. But I feel like that was the point Ė to make something different and not just rehash the same ideas. The final result is not what many people wanted, but it is still a pretty interesting entry in the series. I donít want to call it a ďsequelĒ, because it is not.


Iíve always wondered what kind of game a Nintendo-developed shooter would be. You know, if Nintendo suddenly created their answer to Halo or CoD. Turns out, my questions were answered in a form of little game called Kid Icarus: Uprising. This long-awaited sequel to the NES classic (No, Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters, nobody remembers you. Go away.) is a perfect mix of adrenaline-inducing gameplay of competitive multiplayer games like Halo and cabal shooters like Sin and Punishment and the usual cutesy Nintendo aesthetic. On top of that, it is one of the funniest, the most energy-filled games Iíve played this year. Youíll laugh, youíll shit you pants in excitement and then YOUíll CRY. Because in the end, Kid Icarus Uprising is like an abusive husband. I love him, but everyday he comes home piss ass drunk and physically hurting me. Why, you ask? Well, because a control scheme in this game is something else. And I know that Iím beating a dead horse here, alright? I KNOW. But this is a dead horse worth beating. My main problem is that Kid Icarus Uprising is a portable game, but it works fine only when youíre playing it with the stupid stand. Without it, itís barely playable.



You see, your left hand doing 3 things at the same time Ė you controlling and dodging with you left thumb, you shooting with your left index finger, and you holding you entire 3ds with the rest of your left hand. The right hand is busy holding the stylus. Iíve tried helping my left hand hold the system with the palm of my right hand, but it still feels super weird. And, unless youíre some kind of jerking off champion and your hand can crush rocks, sooner or later your left wrist is going to hurt real bad. Iíve tried several positions, but none of them works. If only Nintendo included the option to aim with the Circle Pad Pro, then there wouldnít be any problems. But other than that, it is a fantastic game.



Who knew this game would become my favorite shooter of the year. It looked rather interesting, when it was first announced, but I never expected it to be so excellent. Great story, great characters and solid as my dick when playing this game shooter mechanics. I canít praise it enough. The thing I like the most about Binary Domain is its nostalgic arcadey feel. Like Iím playing some unreleased Dreamcast game or something. Iím definitely looking forward to playing it again in the near future.



The only SSX game Iíve played before trying the reboot was SSX On Tour, which considered to be a pretty weak entry in the series. So, I donít know how well the developers of the new game recreated the classic SSX gameplay. And I canít say I care much for that. Itís a fun game and that is enough for me.



Blades of Time is essentially a remake of Gaijin Entertainment's past work, X-Blades or X-Blades: Not So Shit edition. And apparently, Gaijin Entertainment is a Russian video game developer responsible for several terrible movie-licensed games and flight simulators. I have to say, when I was playing as a half-naked girl with British accent in this Japanese game made by Russians, I felt incredibly patriotic for some reason.


Oh, boy! Here we go again. By now you probably know that the ending to Mass Effect 3 was the biggest disappointment of 2012 for the most people. Sadly, the rushed and clumsy ending overshadows otherwise an epic game. And I canít blame people for being angry. The ending is a very important part of the story. A bad ending can ruin an overall experience, and in case of Mass Effect 3, it did. I liked the game, despite its flaws, though. My only regret is that I didnít try out the multiplayer, I heard it was pretty good.



Will you cross the line? No.



I Am Alive turned to be a pretty decent game, but the hype killed it. Some games, that got stuck in development hell, are better off dead. Iím looking at you, Duke Nukem Forever.



The new elements introduced in Mario Party 9, are somewhat interesting, but ultimately the game just feels too random. Loosing is winning in Mario Party 9, or maybe not. The game is just too random to have some kind of consistency in it. But itís not going to stop Nintendo from releasing Mario Party X in a year or two. Oh, Iím sorry, I mean Mario Party U.



There are two types of people when it comes to Journey: the ones that think this game is art, and the ones who think this game is overrated piece of dog shit. Iím somewhere in the middle. I wasnít blown away by Journey, but I like it. Itís one of the most interesting games Iíve played this year. I like the visuals, the music, the emotional connection the game creates with you co-op partner, and most important, I like the gameplay. I think this is as close as an art game can get to actually being fun.



Drinking beers & Shooting deersÖI mean robots.



I donít know about you, but I thought Silent Hill: Downpour was awesome. Well, not all that awesome, but at least I consider it to be a step forward for the series. I doubt Silent Hill will ever be as good as the first two games, but if Konami will improve onÖoh wait this is Konami weíre talking about here. Nope, Silent Hill is doomed.



Goddammit, Yakuza Studio! After Binary Domain, I expected Dead Souls to have the same shooting mechanics, but instead the game feels awkward and weird. Despite that, Dead Souls is actually kinda fun. It is not as polished as main entries in the series, but it is a fun little distraction.



The first Darksiders game was a pretty excellent Zelda clone, even though it went downhill towards the end. The sequel, on the other hand, is more about loot-hunting. There are still dungeons and puzzles in the game, but it certainly feels different from the first one. And I appreciate it when a game series trying to do new things with every new installment. I didnít have the time to play more than 2 hours of my Xbox 360 copy, so Iím looking forward to continuing my adventure of skulls and bones.



The sequel to the fantastic War of Cybertron is mostly the same game. Some features like Co-op has been sacrificed for greater narrative. Because of that I canít say the game is technically better than the original, but it became so much more epic. And just for the final battle between the two robot factions, I think this change was worth it.



Probably one of the most depressing and lifeless games Iíve played this year. I remember having fun playing AC back in the good old PS2 days. What happened, From Software? Whereís the fun?



Iím not a big fan of Tomonobu Itagaki, but at least he makes great games. When he left Team Ninja, they went full retard. Remember when Yosuke Hayashi was all like ďweíre doing fine without Itagaki, you guysĒ? Well, after playing Ninja Gaiden 3, I donít think youíre doing fine, Brosuke, I think youíre in deep shit. Ninja Gaiden 3 is not even that bad, it is just painfully mediocre. Itís like a fart. Sure, it was unpleasant when it happened, but now itís gone and I donít remember anything about it.



More like Operation Shit City, am I right?! Okay, turns out it is pretty tiring to write massive lists like that.



ďDid we S-rank it, you guys?Ē Yeah. Good job, Konami.



Suda51 and his team are just killing it this year - five games released and one game announced (Killer is Dead). Even though many of these titles are not all that amazing, Sine Mora (collaboration between Grasshopper Manufacture and Digital Reality) is a rather excellent shoot 'em up. Even if youíre not a fan of the genre, I highly recommend giving this game a try.



Rayman 3 has not aged very well. The controls are kinda wonky and the camera constantly gets stuck behind walls. Itís still a really good game, despite all its flaws. And it looks quite magical in HD.



This game right here is my Midnight Channel game of the year, because it looks like the closest thing to my drawings (IíM NOT BIASED). Jokes aside, Closure is a very unique puzzle game with absolutely outstanding visuals and sound design. Iím not going to tell you anything else, because I donít want to spoil your first time playing it. Closure is one of those games that you have to experience yourself.



Thanks to DMC HD Collection, I finally had the chance to play DMC2. It was okay.



Kinect Star Wars is certainly not the game you were looking for, but fuck you, who cares what you think? Microsoft needs more Kinect games! I actually kinda dig the game. It is goofy, but in a good way. Too bad Kinect is a broken piece of crap.



Oh sweet baby Jesus! JRPG genre, where have you been, buddy? Xenoblade Chronicles is like an open window in a room full of old farts. And I see the future through this window. No, Iím serious. Xenoblade Chronicles has restored my hope for the genre. For me itís out there with Earthbound, FF6 and Chrono Trigger. Itís not just great, itís one of the best JRPG games ever.



What the hell?! So, good western fighting games besides MK still exist? Thatís neat.



I donít really care at this point, since the series went downhill after Takedown for me. Burnout Crash is a fun little game, but Iím surprised I even remember playing it.



Yeah, Phil Fish is a douche cookie, but Fez turned out to be quite a good game. Too bad I couldnít care less about it.



This is simply one of the best RPG experiences Iíve had in years. If youíre looking for a mature RPG, then youíre in luck, but if you are into goofy puppet-humping, then youíre looking in the wrong direction.



Trials Evolution is poison. Annoying at times, but impossible to put down.



Near perfect angry black guy simulator.



It is funny how only one game mechanic can save an entire game. Sniper Elite V2ís Bullet-Cam is an excellent addition to an otherwise mediocre gaming experience.



I remember having a blast playing Warhawk in 2007. Starhawk became more of the strategic online shooter, yet it was still fun pissing off your teammates by building random things for no reason. Iím just not that into multiplayer games anymore. I prefer quality single player, and it just wasnít there in Starhawk. I know it is kind of stupid to expect a deep and exciting single player campaign in a game like this, but still I hoped for something better. Silly me, I guess. The main character looks so cool, though.



These days I donít game on my PC. So, when Diablo III came out, it was ďeh,alright, whateverĒ for me. I played it at the friendís house and it still feels like the king of dungeon crawlers I once knew. Itís a great game, but just not my cup of tea.



Max Payne 3 is a perfect game to be drunk, depressed and bald. If you want to make you life even more miserable as you play Max Payne 3, you should try a very fun drinking game - Take a drink whenever Max takes a drink and then drive safely to your local 7-eleven to get more booze.



I like to think of Dragonís Dogma as a spiritual successor to The King of Dragons. No, seriously, there are some similarities between the two. Both games are action-rpgs where you kill small enemies to level up, so you can fight giant monsters. Fighting bosses is the main focus in both games. Even the settings are kind of similar, but that is probably because of its generic nature. At least, we got a new great IP from Capcom. But now that I think about it, Dragonís Dogma 6 is going to suck so bad!



This yearís Tom Clansyís Generic Military Shooter is actually a lot of fun. It takes a lot of things from Splinter Cell Conviction and now it feels more action-y in your face with ridiculous shaky cam and MICHAELBAYSPLOSION around every corner. It doesnít change the gameplay too much, but it looks really cool.



Life is full of bad decisions. Today you eat a rotten sandwich, tomorrow you buy yourself a Playstation Move. But you always have to make the best out of the worst situations. So I bough Sorcery and I had fun. It is not a spectacular game by any means, but a very charming spell-casting adventure.



Playing obscure kinda-shitty games like this was my thing back in the day, but Inversion just putting me to sleep. Iím getting old.



The gravity effects in Inversion were weak, but this game just nails it. I spend only an hour with Gravity Rush, but from what Iíve played, I have to say Iím intrigued.



Iím deeply disappointed to see that people once again donít get a Suda51 game. I donít want to sound like a pretentious dick, but Lollipop Chainsaw is not just another wacky and stylish action game, but a very interesting commentary on sexism in todayís world, as well. I donít understand how it is so hard for some people to accept an action game with some thought-provoking depth to it. Two of these things can coexist together and Grasshopper Manufacture proves it with almost every game they release. Oh, and the game itself, just fucking great. One of the stupidest games ever made is also one of the smartest. Well, not really, but you get my point.



How many shitty Kinect games are needed to make it a good year? Well, a lot, apparently. Many things could have worked in Steel Battalion Heavy Armor, if Kinect wasnít such a broken piece of ass. It seriously had potential to be a rather cool Mech-simulator game. You know, like the previous games in the series. From Software, I donít blame you. I think you did your best.



I really enjoyed all the Spider-man games Beenox made in the past 2 years (Yes, even Edge of Time). Though, I felt that they were always struggling to find their own identity. Previously, Beenox tried to copy Arkham Asylum, while doing some things a little bit different, but with The Amazing Spider-Man, they just said ďfuck itĒ and made a complete Arkham Asylum/City clone. And itís the best one Iíve seen so far.



Spec Ops: The Line is one of those rare games that you have to experience for yourself. It is not just a great shooter with fantastic soundtrack, but a shooter what have something to say. I canít recommend Spec Ops: The Line enough.



Spelunky is probably the most video game-y video game Iíve played all year, if that makes any sense to you. It is pure gold that will keep you entertained for another 1,000 years.



Who said rhythm games are dead? Some very annoying gyroscope mini-games aside, Rhythm Thief is a wonderful little gem. Now Iím waiting for a sequel. SEGA, please donít fuck that up.



I wanted to like this 3ds dungeon crawler despite some very negative reviews Iíve read, but it turned out to be so slow and unresponsive. I honestly fell asleep playing it.



The Last Story is a fantastic game that feels both nostalgic and fresh. I havenít had any problems with the controls or the battle system like some people. In terms of negatives, I can only say that the game looks somewhat ugly most of the time.



This PSN exclusive is a criminally overlooked little gem that dares to explore a very touchy subject you donít often see addressed in video games: alcoholism. Unfortunately, I know very well what itís like having an alcoholic father. Probably because of my past, the story became even more powerful and impactful for me than it already was. Itís a short and simple game, but with a very big heart. Definitely check it out.



Honestly, Iím glad True Crime: Hong Kong became Sleeping Dogs. I would rather have a new IP, than a sequel/reboot to some mediocre series. By now everybody knows how fucking sweet this game is, so I donít see the point to even talk about it. Sleeping Dogs has raised the bar for open-world games pretty high. Your move, Rockstar.



Dust is a living example of what one person can do. While I didnít really like the art style, I still think this game is fantastic.



Oh shit! Gold coins! That's new.



British people are silly.



I played the demo of Rathet & Clank when PS2 first came out, but later I returned to the series only for the third game, that Deadlocked one and the future trilogy on the PS3. I missed out on the two absolutely incredible games and thanks to the HD collection, I finally have a chance to play them. And Iím honestly stunned at how well these games still hold up.



Klei Entertainmentís Mark of the Ninja is probably the best game theyíve made to date. Itís an elegant 2D stealth platformer with a high emphasis on the sound. I never imagined that a XBLA title would become one of the best games in the genre.



Way Fucking Forward. Double Dragon Neon is a masterful new entry in the legendary series. It combines the core gameplay that made the original games so fun with absolutely insane and over-the-top 80s flavor. This out of control beatíem up has real punch.



Iíve lost interest in the Tekken series after the fifth installment, but Tag Tournament 2 is such a great game, I think it transformed me into a Tekken fan again. No gimmicks, no bullshit, only 100% fun and a shit ton of fan service.



Iíve never been able to get into the first Borderlands or any other game of this genre. I understand why people like these games, but Iíve never been a fan myself. Borderlands 2, on the other hand, might be the one that will change that. Iíve played only 2-3 hours, but from what Iíve seen so far, I would like to return to Pandora and spend some time shooting midgets in the face.



Finally, one of Segaís greatest series returns in glorious HD. Even now itís hard to believe that Jet Set Radio HD is a thing. Despite some mixed reactions, I think Jet Set Radio is still a must-have for anyone with a brain.



Oh god! Team Ninja, stop ruining my Virtua Fighter characters, you fucking perverts!



Iím a big One Piece fan. I even have a manga page with Usopp leaving the team framed on my wall. Pirate Warriors looked like a dream when it was announced. Finally, the ultimate One Piece gaming experience! While the final product is kinda repetitive and has some annoying censoring, it is still pretty fucking close to being a perfect One Piece game.



Tokyo Jungle is pretty much a Yakuza with animals. And it is also one of the most unique and fun games released in 2012. Shits fucking crazy!



Well, guys, this is it. Hereís the shit stopper of my list. I want to start by saying that Resident Evil 6 deserves all the shit people are saying about it. It is a stupid, lifeless game that abandons its survival horror roots and becomes just another mediocre shooter. But I kinda like it. I know, I know! Like I said, It deserves all the hate from fans and critics. However, I just canít help, but enjoy Resident Evil 6. Despite it being pretty much a betrayal of Resident Evil series, I still think it is not such a bad game. The gameplay mechanics are solid, the story is absolutely retarded, but it starts interesting and suspenseful. And I think that ďdifferent campaignsĒ structure works much better here than it did in Resident Evil Revelations. Yes, the game is filled to burst with QTEs, but they are done well here. Resident Evil 6 is a terrible Resident Evil game and it needs to die a thousand deaths. I may be a part of the problem for liking this game, but Iím not gonna lie, if I honestly enjoyed something.



Dishonored is Bioshock of 2012. It is not just a very well-designed game, it sets a new standard in the industry. I noticed that it is very hard for me to write something about such critically acclaimed titles like this. Especially, when I agree with all the praise it gets. Thereís just nothing else to say. Go play it.



Well, of course, itís on-rails.



Even though Machinarium was released back in 2009, it has arrived on the PS3 in this yearís September. Since I donít play games on my PC anymore, like I already mentioned, this was my first time experiencing it. And I immediately fell in love. It is not a terribly complex adventure game. The atmosphere was the selling point for me. What grabbed me instantly was a very melancholic mood of the game. I felt incredibly nostalgic and at peace while playing this charming point and click adventure.



If youíre like video game references, then this is a game for you.



XCOM reboot is one of those games that punch you in the face, but for some reason you feel incredibly happy.



I canít believe I live in a world where a Naughty Bear sequel exists. And, of course, like the first one, it is fucking horrendous.



A very rough, but intriguing game. If youíre some kind of Orcs/Goblins racist, you have to play Of Orcs and Men. It may change your life.



I donít know how the creators of the GoldenEye Wii-make made such a terrible monstrosity. Their previous attempt was actually pretty good.



I liked Doom 3 back in 2004 and I still like it now.



One of the few games that made me actually return to gaming on PC for some time. And it was worth it. Hotline Miami is a stylish top down fuckíem up, that is disturbing, yet fascinating, and most important, fun.



I never survived the first hours. Incredibly boring stuff. The combat is clunky and unresponsive, glitches are through the roof, and the pacing is like two turtles making love to each other. Iíve heard the game gets better eventually, but Iím afraid I donít have the patience. Iíll try playing it again in a couple of weeks and hopefully I will be able to get to the good stuff this time.



With its HD re-release, Clover Studioís Okami is almost perfect now. I donít know how it is possible to make Okami look even more beautiful, but they sure nailed it. The game looks stunning! And underneath all the pretty colors, there is a charming Zelda-like adventure that we all know and love. Too bad most of the people are still not buying Okami. I hate all of you.



Metal Gear Rising demo is a lot of fun. The slicing mechanic is exciting every time I use it, Raiden is all super-badass now, and heís got a Russian guy for a boss. I can relate to that! Because Iím actually a bear, and a communist. The lip-syncing seems way off, but theyíll probably fix that for the release. Platinum Games are known for polishing their games. What? Iím supposed to talk about ZoE? Iíve played both games on PS2 and loved them, but I still donít give a shit. Even Konami donít give a shit. By the way, Iím really disappointed how Konami has ruined only the PS3 version of ZoE HD collection. Seems like they lost their touch after Silent Hill HD collection.



Pid is my personal ďWhat the fuck are you?Ē game of the year. It came out of nowhere, itís weird, itís hard, and I want to spend more time with it.



Suda51ís Liberation Maiden is a part of a video game compilation Guild 01 released for the 3DS in Japan. Thankfully, three of the titles were released on the eShop in Western territories. Iíve been pretty skeptic about this game, but once I hit start I couldnít stop laughing. Itís incredibly stupid and fun as hell. Kid Icarus Uprisingís control scheme works here perfectly for some reason. It actually made me change my mind about touch screen-controlled aiming in the shooter games on DS and 3DS. If done right, it works great.



A fascinating downloadable eShop action-adventure that I can only describe as a fun mix between Zelda and Punch-Out. It is definitely worth your dollars.



Never been a fan of the Halo series, even though Iíve played pretty much every game available. So, you must understand that while I enjoy the series, I donít really care that much. And I was blown away by Halo 4. Itís on completely different level of ďthat goodĒ. If this is not a legendary start of the new trilogy, then I donít know what is.



I donít understand the whining about Mario games being all the same when we still get such unique titles like Sticker Star. Itís not just ďPaper MarioĒ different, it feels different compared to the previous installments of its own series. And on top of that, itís just a great game.



Probably the best Call of Duty to date. You got great non-linear story, strong multiplayer and zombies. Whatís surprising is that for the first time in the series your actions throughout the game actually matter. Not unlike in the previous ones, where you felt like youíre being dragged through every pointless set-piece for absolutely fucking nothing.



I wonder if thereís going to be a GOTY edition where I can finally create a giant penis and set it on fire.



Ok, by now you have to understand that New Super Mario Bros. series is always going to have safe, unoriginal games like this. Iím totally okay with that, as long as the games are fun. New Super Mario Bros. U is the best one by far, in my opinion. And it looks glorious in HD.



I will always defend Nintendo Land as a fantastic mini-game collection. Yeah, itís a launch title that exists only to demonstrate Wii Uís features, but itís fun. What else do you need from a mini-game collection? An emotionally deep, thought-provoking narrative? There is none, you silly waffle.



Probably the only Wii U port that looks much better on the new console. And If you know how fucking gorgeous the original Trine 2 looked, then you are must be drooling by now.



Many people were trying to kill the survival horror genre, but IT LIVES, thanks to the games like ZombiU. Clunky and broken at times, but scary as fuck.



Oh wait, I didnít play this game, because itís not out in Europe. Good.



Hitman is a little late to the party, but this guest still stands out from the crowd. Some strange design choices aside (why not close this door, Hitman?), Absolution is the most ambitious and well-crafted game in the series. The long wait was worth it.



Nobodyís gonna read all of these. I can say whatever the fuck I want. One time I got really drunk, I tripped and fell down the stairs, and pissed my pants on the way down.



So far seems like even more broken version of Brawl. Still fun to play as such veterans like Parappa, though.



I'm honestly sick hearing about The Walking Dead by now. I still didnít finish 2 episodes of it, but I get why people are losing their shit when it comes to this game. Itís really damn good.



The final game of what I like to call ďThe Big ThreeĒ. Pandoraís Tower is somewhat weird in terms of controls and gameplay mechanics, even though it has a pretty interesting story. Iíd love to dedicate more time to playing this game in the future.



While fun and exciting, this is the only title on the list that I canít physically play due to the gameís less than splendid performance on the consoles. I get really dizzy.



The second game released by Grasshopper Manufacture and Digital Reality is a pretty noticeable drop in quality compared to the Sine Mora. While terrifying and weird in a good Suda51 way, Black Knight Sword is almost exactly like that level in Shadows of the Damned Ė not very good.



Another great example of what only one person can achieve and that the survival horrors games are still not dead. Going right never was so scary.



An enhanced edition of an already great puzzle-platformer. The music by always excellent Jake Kaufman is without the doubt my favorite part of Mighty Switch Force.



The game that is probably never going to see the release in the West, just happens to be one of my favorites this year. Like a real gentlemen, I know only two Japanese words Ė Oppai and Bukkake. So, I have no idea that is going on in this Lost Planet spin-off. But since most of the characters look like every day anime stereotypes, itís not that hard to understand the narrative. We got stupid always screaming main character; angry bald fuck mentor figure, whoís probably going to die in a huge explosion; highly energetic kawai chick; socially awkward book worm; evil looking old man emperor, whoís probably a traitor; depressing girl with big boobs and the rival figure guy, who looks like heís shaving his balls every day. As for the game itself, it feels like a very Japanese Borderlands, which is fucking awesome, if you ask me.



Good old Professor Layton made his move into the third dimension and he still looks classy as hell. A true gentleman leaves no puzzle unsolved, so if youíll excuse me, I have work to do.

And that was 2012. What a year! I missed many interesting games, but I donít think it is physically possible to play them all. I hope youíve had a good year, and youíre ready to make 2013 even better. Since I donít drink anymore (my shitty health condition), I want you to get even more wasted on the holidays, since we need to keep the balance in the universe Ė thereís supposed to be at least 50 drunk idiots for every sober person. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Iíll see you on the next Midnight Channel in 2013.

Photo Photo Photo










Sometimes, you donít need a weapon or magic to defeat your enemy. Sometimes, you can do in the most primitive way - with your bare hands. Thatís why I always loved beat em up games and martial arts films. You just canít go wrong with the good old H2H.



I donít have anything against guns or swords. In fact, Iím thinking of doing another Top 21 about them. But this Top 21 list is only about games with Hand-to-Hand combat. My choices are not what I consider to be the best of Hand-to-Hand combat games, but rather just my favorites, in no particular order. These are the games what make me say to myself OH SHIT and UGH every time I successfully take someone down.

Here are some rules of this Top 21:
- No magic, no swords, no guns (with some exceptions)
- One game per series
- There are almost no fighting games on this list, because thereís just too many of them and they usually involve some kind of magic power


I decided to start with some really basic stuff. How basic? Well, how about Nintendoís first 2d fighting game? Urban Champion is an extremely simple game, but there is a certain level of depth, that makes this game fun as well as challenging. Your goal is to knock your opponent into the sewer manhole. You have a stamina bar, block and two kinds of punches: light and heavy. The light punch doesnít push the other player too far and it is harder to block. The heavy punch works in the opposite way Ė powerful, but easy to block and very slow. So, you have the most basic system in a fighting game, and surprisingly, it is enough for a fun and intense match with your friend. For the most part itís all about luck and button mashing, and it is kinda slow and tediousÖ.and the fighting itself looks boringÖ.holy shit, this game sucks. Youíd be better off playing Rock Paper Scissors, son.




When it comes to obscure Xbox games, Breakdown has got to be the king of them all. And itís a real shame, because despite some boring ass level design and pacing issues, this game is pretty damn good. It is a very interesting hybrid of first person beat em up/shooter/platformer with a huge emphasis on the immersion factor. In a lot of ways, itís very similar to Mirrors Edge. And like Mirrorís edge, it is trying to do unnecessary things and slowly falling apart because of that. Thanks to the previously mentioned immersion factor, the fighting is on the whole new level of exciting. Also, you can do some goofy shit like drinking soda and puking in the toilet.



If this is not fun for you, then I donít know what is.


Oh, how I miss you, Rare. Battletoads, of course, needs no introduction. Hard as balls, but fun as hell, this game is not even a game, really. It is an event, a ginormous explosion that opened up the gates of hell back in the 1991.



This game was over the fucking line hard for me when I was a kid, but I kept playing and suffering. Why? Punching dudes never felt so good. The shit we were supposed to go through was nothing compared to that badass feeling when you send someone flying into space with your GIANT FUCKING RAM HORNS.


Escape from Butcher Bay broke the typical movie licensed game curse and became one of the best games of the past decade. It incorporated elements from fist-person shooters, adventure and stealth games. The overall package was sweet, but the one thing I still remember to this day is the gameís combat. It was fluid, elegant and utterly brutal. Like Breakdown (which came out in the same year), it is very easy to become immersed in the gameís world due to the first-person perspective. So you can almost feel every bone crushing punch Riddick can throw. Also, you can kick Xzibitís ass.


Released as late as 1995, Comix Zone was pretty much doomed to become one of those forgotten classics. Despite being too short and too hard for some people, Comix Zone is one of the most inventive and unique games of the entire fourth generation of consoles. Sega Genesis controller has always bugged the hell outta me. WHY ONLY 3 BUTTONS? With the arrival of Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo, the games became more complicated, so it is really impressive how the developers of Comix Zone managed to create such an awesome fighting system with only 2 buttons (C was for items) on the Genesis game pad. Even with the 6-button controller, to fight enemies you use only 2 buttons: punch and jump. And yet by combining d-pad movements with button presses you can do all sorts of crazy moves.


I consider Condemned: Criminal Origins to be one of the last truly scary games of this generation. Sequel, on the other head, while still being good, became less scary and more action-y. But thanks to that shift, some parts of the original game were improved. The CSI-elements are now much more complicated and interesting and the combat is more rock-solid and brutal than ever. Now you can actually chain combos and perform various extremely violent QTE finishing moves. The combat in Condemned games is unlike anything youíll see on this list. Thereís no beautiful fighting choreography or anything like that, only raw brutality.




Iím choosing Neon over previous DD games for this list, CUZ FUCK YOU DOUBLE DRAGON NEON IS AWESOME! A love letter to both the 80s and old Beat Em Up games, Double Dragon Neon is totally tubular! Too short? WELL FUCK YOU ITíS A CLASSIC BEAT EM UP GAME! Too hard? WELL FUCK YOU ITíS A CLASSIC BEAT EM UP GAME! No grapple moves? WELL FUCK YOU CAN COUNTER! It is totally fine if you didnít like Double Dragon Neon (FUCK YOU ANYWAY), but if you had a blast playing NeonÖ




And yet another awesome movie licensed game. If you havenít seen The Warriors, shame on you. You should probably stop reading my stupid shit and go see it. When I first heard of The Warriors game, I thought weíre gonna get some legendary shit. Turns out I was wrong. Rockstar has managed to create not only one of the best brawlers of all time, but something more. The game actually enhances the film in a weird way. And you know what? I would go as far as to say that if you havenít played The Warriors, shame on you.




Back in the ps2 days, me and my friends were always playing this game or Timesplitters 2 every goddamn weekend. Iíve never been into wrestling or hip-hop, but somehow Def Jam Fight for NY, a combination of two things that I donít really like, became my favorite PS2 fighter. The story mode was surprisingly good, the fighting was fast and exciting, and the special movesÖjust OUCH. Also, you can kick Xzibitís ass, again.


Honestly, Iíve always thought that the combat for the most part looks kinda goofy in Final Fight. Just take a look at these jokesters.



On the other hand, is does feel so goddamn satisfying when you pile drive some poor fucker into the ground. I don't have anything else to say. Itís Final Fight. You know how good it is.


Back in 1994 when Streets of Rage 3 finally came out in the US/Europe, it looked like a hideous beast.



This unfortunate victim of butchering in the localization process was a mere shadow of the original game. But we wonít talk about that shit.



Bare Knuckle 3 in many ways is superior to the second one. The game adds running and vertical-dodge moves, team attacks from the first SOR are finally back, and more important to me, action now is more fast-paced. After having so much control over your character in the third game, SOR2 suddenly feels so stiff and slow. Many people disliked the soundtrack, but I thought it was pure genesis hardcore.


I have a really strange relationship with the Yakuza series. I played almost all the major installments (even Kenzan), but didnít finish even one. I like the overly complicated story in these games, I like the setting, characters, gameplay, but some design choices are too Japanese even for me.



The combat may feel a little stiff for some people, but absolutely brutal finishing moves save it from being somewhat dull. I choose Yakuza 4, because it provides a nice variety of combat styles (this time, there are four playable characters, instead of just one).


The original Dead to Rights is so cheesy, stupid, and yet incredibly fun. This game has everything: shit-ton of ridiculous mini-games (in one level you dance as a stripper),



cool gunplay, jaw-dropping disarm moves, even some pretty decent fighting. The sequel was forgettable at best, since it ditched all the cool little things that made the original so good and just became another mediocre max payne wanna be. In 2010 the franchise received a reboot in a form of Dead to Rights Retribution. While still not as good as the original game, it was a solid action title which combined hand-to-hand combat and cover-based shooting. And that worked. The finishing moves were bizarrely gruesome, so if youíre a fan of that sort of thing (like me), then give this game a try.


Nightshade for the NES was a very unusual kind of the game for its time. It looked dark and stylish and featured a unique mix of point-and-click adventure, action, and humor. Imagine Batman Arkham City, only on the NES.



Well, of course, it is not nearly as good, but you get the idea.


Probably my favorite part about Uncharted 3 was an improved hand-to-hand combat. Naughty Dog knew they did it right this time, so Uncharted 3 opens with Nate and Sully starting a brawl in an old-fashioned English pub. The fights feel less random, there is much more emphasis on countering your enemyís attacks, and now Drake can take on more than just one opponent.


I tried to avoid fighting games for the most part (since almost all of them have some kind of magical bullshit in it), but Virtua Fighter 5 is just so exceptionally brilliant, that Iím going to make an exception. There is no fancy bullshit here, just one of the most complex fighters ever made. Fighting games don't get more pure than Virtua Fighter 5.


Before the awesome Transformers Cybertron games, High Moon Studios made a pretty good shooter Darkwatch and a game based on the film version of The Bourne Identity. Bourneís Conspiracy is a great example of hand to hand combat done right. Absolutely beautiful fight choreography (not butchered by the terrible shaky cam, like in the movies), simple and intuitive controls, every punch feels impactful and dramatic. The rest of the game is pretty average, but the fights are JUST FUCKING UGH!


I donít know if Iíve mentioned this before, but Clover Studio/Platinum Games is my favorite developer of all time. If I get an opportunity to talk about any game theyíve created, Iím a happy guy. God hand, despite being a game that pretty much killed Clover Studio, is a perfect example of great 3d beat em up. Hilarious, hard and fun, God Hand is gonna dragon kick your ass into the milky way! The controls are kinda awkward at first, because itís essentially Resident evil 4 as a beat em up, but once you get used to them, youíre in for a treat.


And yet we have another movie licensed game that doesnít suck donkey balls. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? Batman Returns for the SNES was the shit. Fluid controls, music right from the movie, incredible Bat Atmosphere (what is that even) combined into the game that I to this day call my favorite beat em up of all time.




Sleeping Dogs is the biggest surprise of 2012. A well-crafted GTA-esque game that does so many things right, but also knows when to stop. Of course, the highlight of Sleeping Dogs is its perfect hand to hand combat. The game heavily borrows from the combat system found in the Batman Arkham games, but changes a formula a little bit, so it actually feels like its own thing. Fighting is challenging, satisfying and fun to play. United Front Games has managed to create one of the deepest and exciting fighting systems that you can find in an open-word game.




Resident Evil 4 was the major influence for the current generation of games with this whole over-the-shoulder camera angle. Rocksteady Studios repeated the trick when they introduced their brand new hand to hand combat system in the award-winning Batman Arkham Asylum and later perfected it in the sequel.



Their so called ďFreeflowĒ combat system forever changed the way hand to hand fighting should be done in a videogame. Games like Captain America Super Soldier, The Amazing Spider-man and Sleeping Dogs were all influenced by it. Why? Because combat in Arkham Games was the most bomb ass shit since the birth of the universe. IT WAS A FUCKING BAT CHRISTMAS.



In other words, I quite like it.
Photo Photo Photo







Dr Rainbow
12:13 AM on 11.10.2012

Introduction

If someone asked you to give one reason why you love videogames, what would you say? I would probably say ęImmersionĽ. To me this is the thing that makes gaming a truly unique experience Ė a chance to not only see a new magical world, but be a part of it. I have always thought that the night is perfect time for total immersion. Since it is dark and silent at night (well, unless if youíre living in downtown and you can only hear fucking car honking all the time),



youíll be concentrated on thatís happening inside the game. You get this feeling like youíre on the moon, like you exist outside the system in some black nothingness and the only thing that matter right now is the game.



Now that I think about it, most of my memorable gaming moments have happened at night. And those are the moments I want to share with you, internet. This series is not about reviewing games, but rather sharing some of my gaming memories or weird thoughts that came to me in the middle of the night. To put it simple, it's about stupid random bullshit.



I've spent most of my childhood as a Sega Genesis kid. I've had a NES before (or rather Dendy Ė a Chinese clone of NES), but since it was hard to find any games for it in Russia back in the day, I pretty much gave up on the system (but later returned to it as a retro hunter to play many classics Iíve missed). Sega Genesis (or Mega Drive) was a completely different story Ė there were a lot of games available in my country for this system. My friend had a SNES and a huge collection of games what he bought in the states. So, this whole 16-bit console war didnít bother me much, since I've had an option to play SNES in my friendís house. But still I preferred Sega Genesis, because it was my console and I could play it anytime I want (especially at night).



One of the first games Iíve played on my Genesis was Street of Rage 2. I consider it to be my introduction to the ębeat 'em upĽ genre, even though Iíve played games like this before. We all know how awesome Streets of Rage 2 was, Iím not here to talk about that. I want to talk about the first stage boss. So, Stage 1 is pretty basic stuff. The game introduces you to a number of enemy types, weapons,



the chicken.



After defeating the mid-boss, you go inside this bar. The jazzy tune kicks in and the action continues.



Near the end of this section, you notice a bartender in the background minding his own business. Nothing to worry about, right?



When you start fighting this dominatrix whip girl, you see him running outside and you start to feel kinda bad for the guy. You just broke all the chairs in his bar and probably scared him shitless. I felt like such an asshole.



And then I stepped outside.



There was no music, only sound of rain drops falling on the ground. I stood still, struggling to find out WTF is going on. There he was, the bartender. He was standing in the rain, waiting for me. His henchmen kneeling before him, acknowledging the superiority of their master and waiting for his order to tear me apart like a bunch of hungry wild dogs. And then it hit me.





When I was fighting inside the bar moments ago, he was watching me, studying my moves!



He looked so classy, but now heís just another animal (kinda reminds me of Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective, actually). Itís almost like the game is trying to say that in order to beat the evil, Iíll have to become some crazy killing machine myself (wut?). His shirt explodes (because muscles), I shit a little in my pants, crazy techno music starts playing and I could only think of one thing....



I honestly don't know why I was so scared by this bartender, when I was kid. Maybe because I'm a little paranoid, or maybe because the first time I've seen him, I thought I could trush him, BUT HE STABBED ME IN THE BACK. Anyway, that's the end of this story. I hope you didn't hate it too much.
Photo Photo Photo








So, you all know Ashley Davis, right? And you probably know her website called Nomarios? If you didn't heard of it, just go check it out. Basically, it is a place where Ashley draws cute pictures of all sorts of video game characters. So, I've decided to take that idea and transform it into something more perverted. I present to you yet another series of dumb pictures from me - What if classic video game characters were criminals/serial killers/batman villains?

Kirby



Why are you so FAT, Kirby?!









Hey, Destructoid! If you've seen my previous posts, then you know what to expect. It is going to be a really short blog, because I am a sad, boring, dull and uninteresting person. Let's do this shit!
1) I’m from Russia, comrades

Yeah, Russia - country of bears, vodka, balalaika, never ending winter and NUCLEAR MISSILES. Except it's nothing like that. It's actually a pretty cool place to live and not that much different from, let's say USA or England. And my name is Anton, by the way.
2) I have a penis

Yep. I don't see any vaginas in my crotch area. I guess, that means that I'm a man. I'M A MAN!!
3) I smoke like a chimney

I could go through 2 packs in a day. I know it's very bad for my health and recently I had a heart attack (but not because of that), so I kinda need to slow down. But on the other hand, FFFFFUCK THAT. I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die. And everybody wins!
4) Adventure time is my favorite TV show

I honestly don't know how anyone can dislike Adventure Time. It's hilarious and really random and I love it.
5) My favorite game is Gungrave/Gungrave Overdose

I know these games are mediocre at best, but I can't help it, I'm deeply in love with them. I should say that I'm a huge fan of Yasuhiro Nightow, the creator of Trigun and Trigun Maximum. And when I found out he was working on Gungrave games, I knew it is going to be something special. And it certainly was. With that being said, Gungrave is not for everyone. Like I already mentioned, these games are not all that good, but for me they are DAMN PERFECT. I even have this bomb ass art book.

I've beaten Gungrave and Gungrave OD like a thousand times. I know everything about them and I still play them sometimes. I should probably mention the anime series. It was decent. It had the same brilliant soundtrack by Tsuneo Imahori, but it was lacking the style of the original games.
6) I want to be a Ninja Turtle

I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted. But I always wanted to be a Ninja Turtle. Who knows, maybe one day I can become one.
7) I'm a comic book artist

I'm working on my dream project for about 4 years already. It's called Fake Plastic Trees (very pretentious name, indeed) and it's kinda like Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Sharknife. I hope that I will be able to finish at least first volume in the near future.
8) I love anime and manga

I don't even know what to say about that. My favorite manga series is 20th century boy and my favorite anime movie is Mind Game. By the way, you should really see Mind Game. It's gonna blow your mind. DICKS.
9) Shit Happens to me

Recently I lost the most important person in my life and I had a heart attack. And because of my health condition I probably won't live too long. But I try to stay cheerful and videogames really help me with this.
10) VIDIYAGAMES

If you didn't noticed already, I really love videogames.
Photo Photo Photo