It was cute at first, all these tales of love triumphing over the great fear of games. Unsuspecting young women wooed by the siren song of Rock Band or Peggle or whatever the casual game du jour happened to be. Then it got kind of tired, with the same terrible advice repeated over and over. Now it's downright weird.
Here's my take on it: if you are in a relationship with a girl or boy who does not have an interest in video games, leave it be. There should not be a quest to convert her to the great joy of gaming. If it comes up, great. Maybe she'll enjoy it, maybe she won't. Neither choice necessarily reflects on your skill in convincing her of the merits of your beloved hobby.
The best approach is to simply create some space in your relationship where the two of you can pursue whatever interests you want. I know the whole “I have a significant other, heehee!” thing can be kind of overwhelming, but act like you got some sense. If you don't have a few hours a week to devote to gaming alone and it's that important to you, then you're doing it wrong. Have a talk and set up some boundaries for your time together so you can do your own thing on occasion. It's not regimented or callous, it's for your own damn sanity.
And seriously, this rash of “success stories” has got to stop. It's creepy and mysogynistic and reflects poorly on the community.
Huh? How are these stories mysogynistic? Am I missing something here?
Anyways, for me it works well. Nothing is forced upon either of us, but I'm fortunate in that she enjoys the odd game and respects my hobby. GTA IV, LittleBigPlanet, the Warioware games -- she loves them, and we've had a few lengthy marathons to say the least.
I agree with you on the importance of setting aside time for individual activities, but there's nothing wrong with sharing "success stories" if the whole girl-into-gaming (or guy-into-gaming) works for people.
I'm of the side of "if she's not into games and that's really important to you and she hates it, throw her out a window and try to meet the last single girl on our cblogs" :)
Lucky for me, my fiancee gets the video game habit and let's me do what I want. Hell, she even buys games for me. If you're in a relationship with someone who hates something you enjoy...let that person go. Simple as that, it will make things easier in the long run.
I don't try and get her to play games because frankly I don't have a huge urge to do EVERYTHING with her. That's bad for your relationship.
Rockvillian wins the prize for best summation of gaming's role in a relationship. Kryptinite, I think we're on the same page, too.
@Char - actually, my girlfriend has a history of playing video games. We don't play together a lot because we're both busy and we want to spend our time doing other things, but it's been known to happen.
@Sharman - I think misogynistic was a poor choice of word. It should have been replaced with manipulative. You win this round.
My last word on the subject, then I'll shut up: any time you feel the need to change the person you're with, there's a problem. If they want to meet you halfway, that's great. But there shouldn't be a How-to for altering your partner's preferences.
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about me
Favorites:
Rock Band (2)
Psychonauts
Fallout 3
Aquaria
Bioshock
Starcraft
Portal
MechCommander 2
MechWarrior 4
Civ IV (with fond memories of Civ III)
Morrowind
Pirates!
Heroes of Might and Magic
Battle for Wesnoth
Armageddon Empires
Disgaea
Super Mario RPG
Earthbound
Shandalar (old MTG game)
Smash Bros.
Audiosurf
I have neither the patience nor the attention span to ever be anything but a noob.
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
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Thanks Dr. Phil.
Ok that's creepy, Mr Sadistic. That is exactly what I was about to type.
I would never date someone that wasn't a gamer.
Thanks Mr. Sadistic.
Thanks Geritol.
Thanks President Lincon
Thank You
Thanks Hula Chair!
Thanks Dan Rather
Somebody has sand in their vagina.
Huh? How are these stories mysogynistic? Am I missing something here?
Anyways, for me it works well. Nothing is forced upon either of us, but I'm fortunate in that she enjoys the odd game and respects my hobby. GTA IV, LittleBigPlanet, the Warioware games -- she loves them, and we've had a few lengthy marathons to say the least.
I agree with you on the importance of setting aside time for individual activities, but there's nothing wrong with sharing "success stories" if the whole girl-into-gaming (or guy-into-gaming) works for people.
Thanks Dr. Zizmor!
I'm of the side of "if she's not into games and that's really important to you and she hates it, throw her out a window and try to meet the last single girl on our cblogs" :)
.........okay..
What Niero said.
Lucky for me, my fiancee gets the video game habit and let's me do what I want. Hell, she even buys games for me. If you're in a relationship with someone who hates something you enjoy...let that person go. Simple as that, it will make things easier in the long run.
I don't try and get her to play games because frankly I don't have a huge urge to do EVERYTHING with her. That's bad for your relationship.
And seriously, this rash of “success stories” has got to stop. It's creepy and mysogynistic and reflects poorly on the community.
Personally, I couldn't agree more with you.
when games become an issue in the relationship, perspective becomes the new issue.
Did you have a bad experience trying to convert someone? This is coming off as a little bitter.
@Rockvillian
*Gasp* There's common sense on the internet after all!
Thanks! But I'm just the messenger, I learned that through a whole truckload of bad sense.
Rockvillian wins the prize for best summation of gaming's role in a relationship. Kryptinite, I think we're on the same page, too.
@Char - actually, my girlfriend has a history of playing video games. We don't play together a lot because we're both busy and we want to spend our time doing other things, but it's been known to happen.
@Sharman - I think misogynistic was a poor choice of word. It should have been replaced with manipulative. You win this round.
My last word on the subject, then I'll shut up: any time you feel the need to change the person you're with, there's a problem. If they want to meet you halfway, that's great. But there shouldn't be a How-to for altering your partner's preferences.